George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

George Washington's Slaves are Amazo, Non, Solomon Grundy, Ymir, Kol Skywalker (w/ green lantern ring), Shado Vao, Tim Cheveldae (w/ Tron Light Suit), Paul Coffey (w/ green lightsaber), Steve Yzerman (w/ w/ green lightsaber), Brian Murray (w/ green lightsaber), Chuck Norris (w/ Iron Man Suit), Venom II, Runner, Doppleganger, and Boga.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Superman, Flamebird, Nightwing, Dark Archangel, Ozymandias, War: Decimus Furius, Death: Sanjar Javered, Penstilence: Ichisumi, Famine: Jeb Lee, Black Lantern Yoda, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and John Mclane in a Snow Speeder, Black Lantern Chris Artrip, Black Lantern Mike Sroka, and Bugs Bunny (W/ Orange Kryptonite).


Ha... Sup y'all. Neon Master Pogo here to watch these two hella-sweet teams go at it out in the middle of this hell hole of ice... I'm going to start by... (cut-off in mid sentence)... “Shut your face Pogo. Like I'm going to let you watch this match”... This one is all me. Says Joshatu: The Great and Powerful.

It is a bitterly cold evening here on the Arctic Tundra as these two powerhouses mount up against one another. Neither of these teams held back anything going into this regular season match-up between two past Universe Bowl Combatants. A rivalry that was stained with the blood of top draft picks four long years ago. Dark Archangel has taken the lead of this Horsemen squad, due to the fact that many of the squad's most powerful characters are still emotionally and mentally troubled by fighting for a team with such a checkered past. Superman's issues have been well documented throughout this season, but other Horsemen go into this battle with reservations as well. Flamebird and Nightwing, despite fighting for The Men of Apokolips for several seasons can't help but think that their relative Superman has some points when it comes to his public misgivings. John Mclane still can't believe he's back, and especially fighting against a team that he once fought alongside of as part of The Fizzle Divizzle. While The Black Lantern Versions of both Yoda and Chris Artrip just can't help but feel that something is not right about mounting an attack against George Washington's Slaves. The Slaves on the other hand are geared up for a fight and are all on the same page, mostly due to the incredible field leadership of Steve to the Steve and The Brian Murenthay. Several of the fighters on both of these teams realize that this will most likely be their last FFL Fight; but they would all find it to be worth it if it means dealing a loss to their rival.

This match quickly begins to morph in to a water match as the firepower of these two teams works to melt the ice around them, making the icebergs few and far between. It makes this team battle turn into a series of small skirmishes as the icebergs become separated by yards and yards and gallons and gallons of water. Non follows Amazo, as they take to the air and move towards The Final Horsemen. Amazo knows that he must take out these ancient mutants if The Slaves will ever achieve the proper chance to take down a fully-powered Horsemen Squad. He also knows that Non at the tale end of his FFL career is exactly the “Slave” he wants by his side to take out Dark Archangel and his crew of death-dealers.

Anakin and Mclane begin what may end up being a future FFL BFF Scenario as they speed around the outskirts of the icy tundra, setting up a perimeter for the rest of the Horsemen.

The Black-Coated gun wielding Venom leaps at the black-Coated gun wielding Chris Artrip, on the same berg as Black Lantern Mike Sroka who attempts to bite off more than he can chew by wildly charging at The Runner. Bugs Bunny is flying around at top speed with his Kryptonian like powers when he finds out to his dismay that his Orange Kryptonite is bestowing the same powers on Boga as it is on him.

Black Lantern Yoda, a strange amalgamation of a creature still drawn in by the dark-spirited want to eat every heart in his way and of a Master Jedi with a force of will and dedicated philosophy that still makes him very much the Yoda of old. This confused version of power makes short work of the wooden Solomon Grundy, who actually doesn't have to die on a Monday because I am actually watching this match early this week. Solomon Grundy quickly finds himself headless as he rushes towards the miniature Master Lantern and his “blackened” green lightsaber. BL Yoda finds that Doppleganger resides on this small island as well.

Flamebird and Nightwing surround the berg where Ozymandias is doing his best to dodge the attacks of Ymir, who is being backed up by Tim, Paul, Steve, and The Bry.

Superman is busy receiving fits from the green lantern powered descendant of his TEAMmate (Oops, I mean teammate. Sorry, old habits) Anakin Skywalker. Kol and his padawan Shado Vao. The Jedi are fast, but Superman is faster. And when Kol Skywalker takes aim with the full power of his green ring in the form of a kryptonite spear to blast Supes, The Man of Steel moves out of the way just in time causing the blast to miss Superman and hit Shado Vao head on. The sight of his dead apprentice brings Skywalker to a very non-jedi like rage. He draws his lightsaber and leaps at Superman with his ring power being dedicated fully to his protective aura. Superman despite this great show of power by his opponent manages to catch the lightsaber filled hand of his opponent in his own and then finish him off with a dose of heat vision that raises the temperature of this entire frigid setting by a solid fifteen degrees.

… Chuck Norris is nowhere to be found... But it is the job of the ranger to be invisible...

Amazo and Non attack Dark Archangel's team without prejudice. As quick as the flash, Amazo uses his green lantern like abilities to lay waste to Decimus Furius and Ichisumi. While Non brutally crushes the heads of Sanjar Javeed and Jeb Lee. Dark Archangel rushes in too late in an attempt to fight alongside his crew; but he still has his rage as an ally. He powers through Amazo, leading with his wings and slices the robot into three pieces. Amazo dies unable to recoup from the wounds due to Apocalypse's mysticism still lingering within the wings of Archangel. Amazo is quickly avenged though as Non grabs a hold of the wings of Archangel viciously ripping them off before crushing the mutant's cranium with his bare hands.

Flamebird and Nightwing swoop down towards their opponents. Ozymandias backflips out of the way to make room for their attacks in the nick of time; but Ymir welcomes the duo. He stands prepared to do battle in his icy home turf; but his arrogance gets the best of him, as he cannot withstand the physical barrage that he is subjected to as Flamebird and Nightwing come down hard on the frost giant. Tim Cheveldae in full tron light suit and Steve Yzerman, with his kyber-crystal, green bladed hockey stick rush the two Kryptonians next but they are easily dispatched by one quick swat from their super-strength powered backhands. Black Lantern Sroka in a Tim-filled rage sees this out of the corner of his eye and goes nuts... How he so wanted to consume the heart of Tim to the Timmy. The Black Lantern decides to end his battle quickly, by surprisingly ripping into the heart of The Runner. The far more powerful character cannot believe that he is meeting his demise from a creature singing, ranting, and carrying on about Tim, Paul, Steve, and The Bry, Tim Mevelmae, Scrimmell, Crimmell, and Timmell. Sroka quickly eats his heart as if he was killing his desert hot dog on the way out the door of Coney Island. The Insane lantern then flies to the nearby iceberg where he means to consume the heart of his idol Paul Coffey. But Coffey can go lunatic, just as good as the next guy... Paul scores on his own net in the process; but uses his green bladed hockey stick, along with his explosive power to remove the head of Black Lantern Sork and end his reign of timmelerror (by the way, in this case “scoring on his own net” refers to how Paul accidentally cut off The Bry's head while igniting his lightstick... Oops).

Flamebird and Nightwing take flight to search out their next opponent, but he finds them before they find him. Non, is in a rage. Though he would normally be outmatched by the two much faster and sleeker Kryptonians, Non is not taken by them today. He grabs them both by the neck, one in each hand and does not stop squeezing until they are lifeless. He is scarred by the heat vision blasts from the two dying women; but it was not enough to stop him... But their cousin is. Superman rushes in and attacks Non head on. The two battle in the air, trading blows; but the weakened Non is no match for Supes. The Last Son of Krypton becomes the last character of Krypton left in this battle as he comes down hard on the back of Non's neck with both fists.

Black Lantern Fizz attacks with a fueled hatred for life; but he is not quite quick enough to take out the highly trained Venom. His symbiote powers dig deep into the history of the species to find the right chemical mix to coat his bullets that is able to kill the unsuspecting Black Lantern with what seems to be conventional tech. The now super-powered Boga leaps to Ozymandias' berg in a single bound and heat visions the hell out of the hero turned businessman. Black Lantern Yoda leaves his battle with Doppleganger to nip this super-powered alien in the bud right quick. A series of quick flips and black lantern fueled force pushes are enough to slow down the Boga, and a lightsaber to the heart is enough to finish him off. Yoda begins to sheath his lightsaber when he feels a disturbance in the force. He turns around just in time to feel the combined power of flame and laser melting Yoda into nothingness... You never know when the ranger lurks behind you...

White Suit Skywalker is busy complaining about the inferior rebel tech used in the making of their snow speeder, while Mclane is complaining about everything else. Skywalker and Mclane take aim from the air at Venom, but their ship is then hit from behind. “S**t Skywalker, I thought you were a Go*^(mn pilot, what the f^&k hit us” screams John. Anakin crash lands the speeder safely and sees Norris land in front of them. Venom, Doppleganger, and Coffey join him to make their last stand. But Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and prepares for battle. Venom leaps at the Horsemen BFFs; but is taken out of the air by the speeding Bugs Bunny. Venom fights back, but if you thought Bugs was quick like a bunny before, you should see him on Orange Kryptonite. Bugs is unaffected by Venom's bullets, but Venom is very affected by Bugs' heat vision, which melts him in to nothingness. “S&*t, why don't we use this rabbit every G%%^*&mn week”? Asks Mclane. Doppleganger attacks next, but is met with a wicked left handed punch to the mouth from Mclane. The two begin rolling in the snow beating the living hell out of each other, while Norris and Skywalker compete in an amazing battle of finesse and grace. Superman shows up to help out what is left of his team, but he's not sure which fight he can even get in the middle of. Bugs moves to help out Anakin, but Coffey is ready; and he always has hated cartoons (they get in the way of training to gain explosive power). Coffey launches his lightstick at Bugs and with a little luck and a ton of hall of fame skill Paulathore manages to put it directly into the chest of Bugs Bunny to send his second person of the day to the graveyard.

Anakin manages to finally get close enough to Iron Norris by dodging his many attacks. He leaps into the air and removes his head, ala Windu/Fett in Episode 2. Skywalker sees what has happened to Bugs out of the corner of his eye and immediately begins force-choking the All Star (he may be good now, but he still did have years of Sith training... Besides, Luke and Leia aren't around). Coffey dies, as Anakin regroups with Superman. They begin casually discussing the battle plan, while Mclane floats up on the brink of hypothermia, bruised and bleeding, using the body of Doppleganger as a life raft. He crawls up on the iceberg and says: “No no no, please don't help... I got this.. Super-powered, useless A**holes”!!