Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

Griswold's Nut-Busters are Dexter Morgan and Annoying Orange.

Prom Date is The Cookie Monster.

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Ambush Bug.

Prom Date is Porky Pig.


Prom... The beginning of life for some, and the end of it for others. For many jocks and high school goddesses this could very well be the last time that they are ever on top. Oh sure, they don't know it yet; but the muscle bound football player that thinks he has the world wrapped around his finger has no idea how life is going to kick him right square in the balls in the years to come. Those double quarter pounders with cheese that he kills in 14 seconds flat amidst cheers from his buddies aren't going to turn into muscle forever, in fact they are going to start going directly to his gut. And the chicks won't be quite so easy to snatch up either once he is a fat, over-worked salesman just trying to make ends meat. Hell at that point masturbating around that loser gut of his will be harder to do than banging the prom queen will be at the end of tonight.

Speaking of prom queens, that gorgeous broad on the dance floor wearing the $1500 dress that her dad doesn't even know he paid for yet because her mom maxed out their credit card to do it. Soon enough she'll be a fat slob with two too many kids, married to a loser who doesn't appreciate her, because everyone stopped thinking she was great and started noticing that she was an absolute moron as soon as her boobs started to sag and that stomach of hers began to grow exponentially.

Oh, look!! There's some tatted-up douche with long hair and what appears to be the beginning of a beard, although he's probably been working on it for a month. He normally wouldn't be caught dead at something like this; but he knows that that cute chick with the low self-esteem is going to put out tonight for sure; and even if she doesn't, he's going over to the house of the one cool kid whose parent's are supplying enough beer and weed to keep Tommy Chong and Norm Peterson happy, because they think it is more important to have 17 year olds think they are cool than to actually raise their own flesh and blood properly.

And one more... There in the corner is some nerdy dude who for some reason felt the need to come tonight even though he couldn't get a date. All the people I mentioned previously are making fun of him because he's a "geek", but really they will all be lucky if he finds it in his heart to give them a job in a few years time. Because in what will seem like a blink if an eye to them, soon they will all be thirty and this nerdy dude will be a rich, sophisticated guy whose large breasted wife makes sure she stays skinny because she knows that there are a platoon of large breasted skinny chicks out there who would gladly jump in their spot, should they decide to let themselves go. He'll be driving the car that all the dudes have pictures of in their locker, dating the woman that the girls are modeling their hair after, and bossing around middle-agers who are all living vicariously through their kids who will inevitably become just as big of losers as they are. All within a few years of "the geek" getting his first degree and snatching up some tech job that doesn't even exist yet.

But I, The Neon Master Pogo... Digress. For there is a match to watch. And here it is...

Porky Pig and The Cookie Monster both eat too much. They have weight problems and are basically the opposite of attractive. They were both certain that they would not get asked to prom at all; but here they are at the big dance, being escorted by two of the coolest guys at school: Ambush Bug and Dexter Morgan. Dexter even brought along his homeboy Annoying Orange so he could drive Dexter's Dad's Buick while Dexter and The Cookie Monster suck face in the back seat. Talk about HOTT!! Dexter Morgan has no idea that someday he will be named Head Coach of Griswold's Nut-busters, today he is just focused on securing that hot piece of blue-furred a**!! Ambush Bug and Porky Pig are hiding behind the stage curtain doing lines of coke when Cookie Monster and Dexter stumble into their private space in an effort to find a spot to get busy. Ambush Bug gets hella-pissed at the interruption and teleports into the face of Cookie Monster jacking up his piece like Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys would. Porky Pig then sees Annoying Orange off in the corner and tries to pop what he thinks is the biggest baddest pill in all of suburbia. Porky chokes to death on Annoying Orange after Annoying Orange begins to act really annoying... And Orange. The goofy fruit does get swallowed by the dead pig and is still done in by his hydrochloric acid.

... ...

The last thing that Ambush Bug remembers is seeing his hot date Porky Pig dying at the hands of Annoying Orange. He remembers screaming and falling to his knees, but now he doesn't know where he is. He looks down at his hands and feet and realizes that they are bound to the table he is laying on. He seems to recognize his surroundings as the high school nurse's office when Dexter walks into view and looks down at the bug. "You have murdered a lot of good comic books and managed to kill the fourth wall as well. And now you killed the love of my young life: The Cookie Monster and kept me from getting some interspecies-Muppet-erotica on tonight. In other words, I don't even need a dark passenger to make this one happen".

The scalpel gets pulled out...

Ambush Bug cringes...

Stuff gets nasty...

And...