s6 consolation round 1. Red Army vs The Empire

The Empire is: Princess Zelda, Mace Towani w/laser gun, Cindel Towani w/ star wand, and Ewok #76w/ zapper and proton pack

President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army is: Jen Linley, "Ce Ce" Jones, "Rocky" Oprah Blue, Benny, Isa and Taylor Swift w/ Sith Lanvarok

The FFL Prom is in disarray, as just about everyone is passed out on the ground.

"Jimminy jeehoosfats! What's going on around here???!!! I get a notice from the waiver wire that I'm part of some Red Army at a prom and I waltz in to this type of nonsense." exclaims Don Knotts, his eyes bugging out in their usual manner. "Good golly, I gotta see what the hub bub is!"

As he starts around the prom, he sees a number of curious sights. Dexter Morgan is off in a corner, crying and stroking what appears to be a lumpy, blue carpet while whimpering "N is for nookie...that's good enough for muh-muhm meeeeeeee." He sees a Xenomorph's corpse covered in monkey brains, feces, and finger sandwiches. A smurf sized blood splatter is on  the wall, and he sees Agent Coulson sharing a long, tender moment with a dying Maria Hill.

"If these are the types of ding-dongey shenanigans that goes on in this league, maybe I'm better off on the waiver wire! WHOOP!" exclaims Don as he trips. He looks to see what caused him to loose his footing, and sees the body of Squidward. Squidward's eyes are bugged out of his head, and his face has turned blue. Somehow Squidward's water helmet shattered, spilling all the water onto the floor and causing Squidward to suffocate.

"Ah Squiddy, what happened? You were so excited to be going to the Empire for a match! We were awful sore that we wuz on opposite sides, but we said we'd always be pals! Oh, golly. Oh, gosh. I don't think I wanna be here" anguishes Knotts as he wrings his hands.

Suddenly a voice rings out

"WHOO HOOOO! SUCKS IT NERDS!!!! I TOLD YEZ I COULD GET AN INDUSTRIALS SIZED BOTTLES OF GHB!!!" the joyous voice of Jen Linley rings out amongst the carnage "LOOKITS ALL A DIS ASS FOR ME!!! I GONNA FUX DIS BISCH AND DAT BISCH. I'LL FUX ANYTING DAT DOESN'T MO-" Jen suddenly grasps her chest, and drops to the floor dead. The promise of so much free sex has excited her so much that her fragile heart couldn't handle the strain, and gave out on her.

"Well that answers that, but now what am I gonna do?" wails Don

"Yub yub." says Ewok #76 as it levels it's proton pack at Don Knotts "Yub"

"Holy moley! A teddy bear with a ray gun!" exclaims Don as he whips his hands into the air unaware that calling an Ewok a teddy bear is using the most henious racial slur he ever could in this situation.

"YUB YUB! YUB YUB YUB!!!" the Ewok thumbs the trigger and the proton packs hums as it fires up.

"Hey Ewok! Why didn't you ever call me back, you DICK??!!!" screams Taylor Swift as she fires off a shot from her lanvarok. The shot neatly slices the cord between the proton pack and the zapper.

"Yub" whimpers the Ewok as he now realizes that he has an unstable nuclear generator on his back.As the proton pack begins to heat up and charge towards it's inevitable meltdown. Knowing his time is short, the Ewok takes off running towards Don Knotts, in a suicide bomber type move. Suddenly, Benny the Bull rushes forward and tackles the Ewok, driving him back. The subsequent explosion vaporizes the entire Prom, except for Isa. The radiation instead has caused Isa to mutate and turn into a giant, Godzilla- like monsters.

"ROOOOAAAAAARRRR" screams Isa as she looks around. With nothing else to do, now that everyone else is dead, she stomps off into the night.