S7W3 - Commandos vs Midgets

President Barack Obama & Miley Cyrus's Touring Battalion of Commandos Roster:

Earth 2 Superman, Martian Manhunter, The Atom (9 deaths), Thanos, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vel), Darth Binks, Black Lantern Jar Jar Binks, Jack Crowe w/Red Lightsaber, Deadly Viper Assassination Squad: (Bill, Bud, O'Ren Ishi, Vernita Green, Elle Driver (All with 9 deaths)), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern Ring, President Barack Obama w/General Grievous' Blue & Green Lightsabers, Muhammed Ali, James Baldwin, FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder, FBI Special Agent Dana Scully, Mansquito, Duke (G.I. Joe) w/Green Lantern Ring, Dora the Explorer w/Boots, Backpack and The Map, Benny (9 deaths), Isa (9 deaths) & Tico (9 deaths), Jack Kevorkian w/Death Mobile Van, VHS Camera & Suicide Machine, Prof. Minerva McGonagall, Hermione Granger, Gungan Solider #11 w/Trident (9 deaths)

The Sisterhood of Travelling Midgets is: Emperor Joker, White Lantern Hal Jordan (w/ red lantern ring, (Alan Scott's magical) green lantern ring, (Guy Gardner's) yellow lantern ring), Beppo the Super-Monkey, Deadshot, Arsenal, The Eradicator, Deadpool, X-23, Zombie Supergirl, (Age of Apocalypse) Weapon X, Bowser:  King of Koopa (w/ Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring), Franklin Richards, Spider Ham, Salacious B. Crumb.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown meets me at the base of Willis Tower (aka, Sears Tower), the tallest building in North America.  “What are the rules today?” I ask him.

“I have hidden a briefcase somewhere inside the building.  Inside that briefcase is an American flag.  Whoever waves that flag from the rooftop of this building, I will declare their team the winner of the match.” says Leroy Brown.

“Sounds good to me” I say to him.  And Brown heads into the building holding a folding chair to wait on the rooftop for a winner.

The teams swarm onto the building.  I have decided to only leave one revolving door unlocked and the two teams are pushing their way to try and get into the lobby.  The characters with flight begin to circle the building trying so see inside.  Earth 2 Superman is using his X ray vision and so is Zombie Supergirl and Beppo the Super Monkey.  Now back in his hometown, the POTUS attempts to calm everyone by explaining that for safety reasons, it is best if everyone enters and exits the building from one door and faces the cameras as they do it.  “The cameras are not spying on anyone, they are just recording your every move.” He explains.  “Also,” he continues “If anyone uses a gun in the city of Chicago, I’m sending you to Guantanamo bay.”

The teams are civil toward each other.  This is an odd match to witness. They are talking to each other as they walk around and seem to be searching together in small groups.  But the strategy is apparent to me. Keep your enemies close so when one does find the case, in theory it should be easier to overtake them and get the flag to the top.  The teams are scattered all over the 110 story building so I have no idea where everyone is.  It is hard to get a view of everyone from up here.  Night is starting to fall upon the building and now I know this match is going to be late.  Dammit, Josh is never going to believe me that it was these guys taking so long.

In the darkness I notice a light on coming from inside a van parked on the street.  Inside is Dr. Jack Kevorkian and he is hooking his machine up to someone.  It is an older black gentleman and he is shaking uncontrollably.  I am looking over the Midget roster and no one fits this description.

At that moment I hear an explosion from what looks to be 70 stories up.  On my way up I pass Black Lantern Jar Jar as he is falling to his death.  I think heesa gonna die.  I look in and I see Bowser running as fast as he can up the stairs and he is shooting orange fireballs behind him.  Not sure if it is from his breath or from his Orange Lantern Ring.  The building is now starting to burn pretty quickly as Hermione is ripping off spells that would make Snape smile.  

Earth 2 Superman turns to Martian Manhunter and says “C’mon J’onny Boy! Time to show the league how much better than me you are!”

“Ummm… “ says Manhunter looking at the flames, “You go first.”

“Thats what I thought.” says Supes as he heads into the flames.  He is able to intersect Bowser around the 90th floor and easily dispatches him with a quick shot of heat vision.  He picks up the case and just power flies through every floor on his way to the roof.  Several Midgets are waiting for him outside on the roof and he drops the case as he is hit in chest by a roundhouse kick from Deadpool.  Beppo the Super Monkey grabs the case but is quickly pinned down by the Mansquito and his tiny body is sucked dry within seconds.  Mansquito is fiddling with the case but he cant get it open.  He pecks at the clasp with his needle nose but cannot get it open in time as Deadshot gets a perfect shot off on his tiny neck and his head falls to the ground.  Franklin Richards uses an energy blast to open the case and lift the flag.