Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! Special Guest Referee Bad Bad Leroy Brown made his presence felt and ensured that the right teams either acsended to the heights of The Willis Tower, or stayed on the Southside of the standings.
We begin in The Lucas Conference where The Empire's Vladimir Putin planned to take down The Horsemen. His strategy was largely sucessful, although The Horsemen prevailed due to one very lucky Green Lantern! Kudos to both teams for putting on quite a show!
Property damage was the name of the game in The Grindhouse vs. Rabblerousers match. Despite the witty Champion of The Universe delivering his legendary one-liners, The Rabblerouseres barely came out on top thanks to a nostalgic Darth Rave. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse continues their losing streak, delivering quality line-ups, but catching some bad breaks along the way.
Under the watchful eye of the special guest referee, The Commandos and Midgets played a game of capture the flag a top The Willis Tower. Although Earth 2 Superman did most of the work for both teams, The Midgets take home the victory because of their straegic positions and Franklin Richards!
The battle between B-3 and George Washington's Slaves was finally pieced together by a helpful bartender, who filled in the memory gaps of notorious lightweight Daveatu. The bad luck continues for The Slaves, while The Backyardigans seem to be on the way up!
Over in The Lee Conference, The Shield put an end to The Turrible Decisions turrible roster decision by way of a triple powerbomb on Kingdom Come Steel. Unfortunately, The State Farm Agent informed him that he was uninsured against powerbombs, and also metal signs through his eye. Can anyone stop Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors?
After the Commandos/Midgets match, it appears that Bad Bad Leroy Brown continued his referee duties at a local bar. Griswold's Nut-Busters and The Super Orange kitties and Cats ravaged the outside world during their fight, but, as always, the referee was in the right place to see Larfleeze's greed implode on The Kitties.
The Highness finally got things fired up against The Fighting Murderflies... in a bad way, as half of their metallic team were literally slagged by Odin! Congratulations are in order for The Murderflies' owner, new dad Mike Geney! Wishing you the best from everyone here at Spoiler Sport!
Finally, the result of the TEAM and Team Sleeping Pussy bout left us more questions than answers. Do The Pussys have a traitor in their midst, or does TEAM have a double agent to contend with? The only thing our crack team of reporters have figured out is that TEAM retains the royalties for the name "team." For now...
Speaking of teammates, I now send it over to the ever-vigilant Graveyard Point reporter Pepper Brooks. Pepper!!
Muhmuh muh muhmuh muh muh muh. Muhmuhmuh muh muh muhmuh muhmuhmuh! Muh. Muh muhmuh muh muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muh muhmuh muh. Muhmuh muh muh! Muhmuhmuhmuh muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muhmuhmuh muhmuh! Muh muh muh muhmuh!
Thanks Pepper! Don't ever give up, kid! Next week, we head "Beyond the Outer Rim!" We shall see which teams can create space between themselves and the competition. Sadly, we shall also see which teams get jobbed by "The Rim." Stay tuned to The Ocho as we cover the quarter final round of the Shin-kicking contest, Live from England! For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank yo, and goodnight.
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7 comments:
1. Vladimir Putin. 2. Odin. 3. The Shield.
For his valiant effort against the Horsemen comrade Putin has been named Team President of The Empire effective immediately.
Kaja Sinis remains as GM and Rick Grimes remains head coach.
Man I can't wait for the Rim Job this week.
Wait... I see what you did there.
We here at the Commandos would like to remain neutral in regards to the announcement of Vladimir Putin as the new President of The Empire. We would also like to announce that we are moving two starship's in orbit around The Empire's homebase, a move that should not be taken as an act of aggression or friendship. We are as we state, neutral in regards to the situation.
We wish The Empire and President Putin good luck and for no reason that should be looked at seriously, will be keeping a very close yet neutral eye on The Empire's progress for the remainder of the year.
Warm (yet neutral) regards,
President Barack Obama
Awesome write up as usual sir!
And congrats to Mr. Putin on his recent and well deserved promotion!
Ukraine is weak. Good work Mr. Mcknight. And nice posturing Adam, I love what you are doing with your team this year.
We have heard reports that Mr. Putin won his "election" with 95% of the vote. All attempted contact with The Empire has been futile thus far. But we will continue our efforts to inform our viewers, as best as we can.
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