S9W3 - Team Sleeping Pussy vs Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Team Sleeping Pussy is:

Bizzaro Superman, Toro, Devil Dinosaur, Nightshade, Sunfire, Dave Bowman:  The Starchild, Smokescreen, Movie Rachet, Scourge, Faker (Masters of the Universe), Wild C.A.T.S:  Void, Jonah Hex (w/YL Ring), Captain Boomerang (9 death), Captain Guts, Expendables:  The Lone Wolf, Duncan McLeod (w/ Green Lightsaber), Shi'ar Warrior #1-10, Droid Fighter Ship #13-14, War Skrull #5, Skrull #s 28-36, Xenomorph #s 11-25 & 35-47

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are:

The Fear Itself team:

(Ulik, Serpent, Skadi: Herald of the Serpent merged with Shao Khan, Kuurth: Breaker of Stone merged with Gimli, Nul:Breaker of Worlds merged with Beast Wars Megatron, Skirn: Breaker of Men merged with Princess Leia, Mokk: Breaker of Faith merged with Blanka, Angir: Breaker of Souls merged with Beast Man)

Franklin Richards, Gatecrasher, Cannonball, Nightsister Sith Witch #3-18, Droideka #1-5, Jedi Masters #1D-10D, Dark Jedi Masters #25A-37A, Blue Dragon #1-6, Treasure Troll #20

“Oh dammit! I got so busy this week quitting a job and crap that I forgot to unleash this week’s combatants into the arena” Fizzatu thought to himself. He hurridly flips the switch on his old Tandy desktop 486SX2 to view the scene on Hoth and start the match. But his eyes grow impatient as the modem dials into the BBS servers in London.

BALEEEE-EEEE-OHHHH-OHHHHH-OHHHHH-BREE-OOO-BREEE-OOOO says the modem.

“Why does Josh insist on us using this old ass technology to do our watching?  I could go my whole life without hearing a modem again…. FINALLY…”

The screen refreshes and Fizzatu is horrified at the carnage on the screen.  “What the hell happenend?  I didn’t start the match yet! They can’t start the match without me?!?”

The landscape of the frozen Star Wars planet has been blanketed in a sea of red.  Dismembered bodies are everywhere as Franklin Richards is locked in a heated arm wrestling match with Dave Bowman.

“What did I miss?” Asks fizzatu

“Aww, not much.” Says the Starchild laughing.  “You missed it when I tricked Franky boy here into killing half his own squad! What a dope!”

“I...Hate...You….” says Richards struggling for breath as he desperately tries to move Bowman’s arm.

“Well, what else happened?” Fizzatu asks.

“HA! Oh yeah, Hey Frank… Remember when Bizarro Supes smashed Ulik and Kuurth’s heads in at the same time.  Two whiny girls with one blow!  Ha!”  Mocks Dave.

“Stop… Calling… Me… Frank…” Franklin Richards says with increasing resentment.

“So that’s it?  Just the two of you are left?” Asks Fizzatu

“Naw.” Bowman answers,  “ I got Supes on mind control over on that glacier behind us cutting the limbs off all the corpses with his heat vision.  Ya know, for fun.  Work on his long range target practice.”

At this point, Franklin Richards is using both hands to try and budge the arm of the Starchild.  He finally grows frustrated and hits Bowman with left hook catching him off guard and breaking his mental grip on his teammate.  The two of them wrestle around on the ice exchanging blows until they suddenly break through surface whose integrity has been compromised by Superman’s excessive heat vision attacks.

Supes flies down to help but the hole they broke through was small and already starting to freeze over again.  He uses his freeze breath to blow the snow off the surface of the ice. After a short walk, he finds the lifeless eyes of both Richards and Bowman peering back at him through 6 inches of frozen water where, just minutes ago, their last desperate attempts to find oxygen finally failed.

A lonely Bizarro Superman sauntered back to the locker room.