Season 9 Week 1: Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. REAL MAN'S RABBLEROUSERS

Ah, the good ol' hockey game! It's the best game you can name! There are so many great reasons to love the sport. I think I'll name a few.

Killing some beers in the parking lot of your choice prior to the game.
Climbing the ever daunting stairs at The Joe after said beers.
The smell of artificially chilled air as you enter the arena.
The awesome statues of Red Wing greats that line the concorse.
The usher giving you grief for trying to enter while the puck is still in play.
Overpriced beer at the venue.
That feeling when you realize your personal pizza costs double what a Hot and Ready does.
The lovely cramp in your leg when sitting in a seat meant for people 5 foot 5 and under. (Apparently)
And who could forget pissing in a trough.
But most importantly, the fact that none of the annoyances matter when your boys score.

So why am I rambling on about inconsequential hockey nuances when I should be describing the game at hand? Because there is no game to comment on. Neither team sent in a roster, so i have to drop the nigh unprecedented "Double DQ Hammer"(TM). Or as the always loquacious Nickatu put it:

"CHIPPER TIME MOTHATRUKAZ!!!"