Play-offs Week 1: Midgets Vs. The Empire

The Midgets are: Emperor Joker
-Katma Tui
-Blue Lantern #1 (w/ 9 deaths)
-Scar
-Supergirl (Ariella Kent)
-Magneto
-Vampire X-23
-Psylcoke
-(Age of Apocalypse) Weapon X
-(Age of Apocalypse) Cyclops (w/ Bleez's Red Lantern Ring)
-Deadpool
-Azazel (w/ Count Dooku's red lightsaber)
-Venom (Flash Thompson)
-He-Man
-Omega Supreme

-Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Enemy, Wingthing, Flip Sides, Sundor, Garboid, Howlback, Glit, Decepticon Cassette #1-3, Ravage Clone #1-3, Nightstalker, Playback, Rosanna, Stripes, Autoscout #1-2, Autobot Cassette #1-3, and Decepticon #7.

-Luminara Unduli (w/ White Lantern Ring)
-Nazgul #9 (w/ an indigo lantern ring) and Nazgul #9's Fell Beast
-Ken (from Street Fighter) (w/ Guy Gardner's yellow lantern ring)
-Ron Popeil and R.O.B. the Robot in a Jedi V-Wing.
-Allia Atreides (w/ Asajj Ventress' 2 red lightsabers)
-Princess Irulan (w/ a star sapphire ring)
-Space Usagi Yojimbo (w/ a double red lightsaber (Universe Bowl Prize)
-Jotaro (Usagi's son)
-Star Wolf (w/ a laser sword, laser gun, and pokeball) in a Tie Interceptor
-The Wicked Witch of the East (w/ Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring)
-Black Lantern Chris Seeney
-Pete Clemenza

The Empire is: Silver Surfer
 Black Lantern Dark Phoenix
Black Lantern Colossus
Set
Colossus
Darkseid
Earth 2 Batman
Earth 2 Catwoman
 White Lantern Swamp Thing
 Indigo Lantern Sinestro
 Steel Superman
Red She Hulk
Sabertooth
 Black Zarak
 Victory Saber (Victory Leo and Star Saber)
Batman Jr.
Superman Jr.
Trigon
Captain Britain w/ Green Lantern Ring
Princess Zelda w/ Blue Lightsaber


It is a calm day with a slight breeze on the Play-off Planet. The birds are chirping, and the sun occasionally peeks out from behind the clouds. This is an unusual break from the normal chaos this time of year on the Planet, which worries some of it's denizens, although most simply take the peace for what it is and enjoy the day. In the city's cental park, a large humanoid sits at one of the many chessboards, waiting for his opponent. Finally, Emperor Joker appears before the challenger.

"You're late." chides Darkseid with his gravely voice.

"Oh no, I almost missed your precious chess game! I'm not even sure why I agreed to this boring competition. I mean, I see a few Batmen on your roster. I would much rather be torturing them than indulging y..." says Emperor Joker before he is cut off.

"Sit, clown." interrupts an already annoyed Darkseid.

Emperor Joker obliges the request. He looks at the game board and sees that Darkseid has already placed a good amount of his forces in their positions. The Emperor snaps his finger, and a bag containing the likenesses of his teammates engraved on chess pieces appears.

"So how does this work? Are there any particular places for these, or is it all willy-nilly?" asks the Emperor.

"Your strategy is none of my concern." says Darkseid.

"Thanks for the help, big guy." states Joker sourly. "Willy-nilly it is!" he exclaims as he dumps some pieces from his bag onto the board. The playing pieces scatter across the surface, slamming into Darkseid's pieces, and making most of both player's figures fall to the ground.

"Well that was fun." laughs Emperor Joker. "I assume that means a good amount of our teammates just died. I'm better at this than I thought!" exclaims E. Joker.

 The Midgets' Deadpool, Psylocke, Weapon X, Vampire X-23, Star Wolf in TIE Interceptor, Ron Popeil and R.O.B. in Jedi V-Wing,Ariella Kent, Space Usagi and son, He-Man, Venom, Pete Clemenza, and Alia Atriedes are eliminated. The Empire's Earth 2 Batman, E-2 Catwoman, Steel Superman, Red She-Hulk, Sabretooth, Batman Jr., Superman Jr., Princess Zelda, and Colossus disappear from reality.

Darkseid clenches his fist and begins to arrange some of his remaining players. White Lantern Swamp Thing, Indigo Sinestro, Black Lantern Dark Phoenix, Black Lantern Colossus, and Green Lantern Captain Britain are moved to the forefront.

"Lanterns, eh?" I think I have a few of those too! Hold on a sec!" explains Emperor Joker as he fumbles through the bag. "We got Katma Tui, Scar, a Blue Lantern... oh he's rare... a nine deather! Let's see... White Lantern Luminara Unduli, Star Sapphire Princess, Irulan, Yellow Lantern Ken, Indigo Lantern Nazgul w/Fell Beast, Orange Lantern Wicked Witch of the East, Red Lantern AoA Cyclops, and good ol Black Lantern Chris Seeney! Whew, that's a lot of Lantern power! Looks like you're a little outgunned there Darky. How's about throwing another figure or two in to make myself feel better about everything." offers Emperor Joker.

A miniture statue of Set is thrown into the pile by Darkseid before he angrily slaps all the pieces off of the board. Both teams' Lanterns  as well as Set cease to exist.

"Now Darkseid, old buddy, surely your not getting aggrevated! I mean, YOU'RE the one that chose this stupid idea to begin with!" antagonizes Emperor Joker.  The Emperor reaches into his bag with two hands and strugges to get the massive Omega Supreme figure out of it's place. "Little help?" asks Emperor Joker. Darkseid does not oblige.

Omega Supreme is finally placed atop the board, as Darkseid counters with his own Transformers: Black Zarak and Victory Saber.

"I almost break my back lifting this bucket of bolts, and you still happen to neutralize it? Lame." complains Emperor Joker as he kicks all the Transformers to the grass below. The robots vanish. "I apperciate the quick kills as much as the next guy, but this doesn't have any of your usual flair!!! I expected more from the scourge of Apokolips!!!" mocks Emperor Joker. "Just kidding, I know you're booooooorrrring." adds EJ.

"You're disappointed?" questions Darkseid. "Allow me to liven things up." he says with a smirk as The Silver Surfer's likeness is placed in play.

"OOOOOOOO!!! That's a good one!!! I better bring my A-game!" says an impressed Joker before dumping most of his bags contents onto the table. "I present to you...... Soundwave and a metric f*ck ton of his tapes! Seriously, there's like 30 or 40 of these son's a b*tches! That's gotta count for something!" offers Joker.

Darkseid grins as he shakes his head negatively. "Not good enough, harlequinn." states Darkseid.

"Fine, fine. I was hoping to hang on to this, but if you insist." explains Joker as he adds Magneto to the pile.
Darkseid weighs the opposing forces' worth, and agrees to the assured annihilation.

"It seems we're both running out of toys, Darky old chap! At least that means this farce is almost over." says a relieved Emperor Joker. He places Azazel on the chessboard.

"Checkmate." smiles Darkseid as he counters with Trigon.

"Whaaaaat? No way. They're both demon-type guys, it's totally a draw!" claims Emperor Joker as he throws both figures to the ground. "Well, that was pointless. Y'know, the next time you want to waste my life, at least bring some tea or scones or something. Your manners as a host leave A LOT to be desired!" scolds Emperor Joker as he begins to walk away.

"STOP." orders Darkseid. "You piece was not equal to mine. You lose." commands the leader of Apokolips.

"I'm through playing this ill conceived notion of a match. When you come up with something better, feel free to call me. Toodles!!!" laughs Emperor Joker. He continues to walk away until a heat wave of Hellfire cuts a burning swath though the air.

"Darkseid was right. Your "Azazel" was not up to the task. Surrender, or face our combined might." warns an appearing Trigon.

"Blah blah blah. You're almost more boring than old Darky himself!!! Almost. Fine, you want it you got it!!! put em up!!!" challenger Emperor Joker as he mockingly throws up his fists, Queensbury style.

"Fool." proclaims Darkseid.

Darkseid's eyes glow as The Omega Beams charge up, and Trigon begins to summon the fires of Hell. Emperor Joker is imitating the footwork of Muhammed Ali as the vast amount of energy is unleashed toward him. With a wave of both hands, Emperor Joker redirects the energy, sending The Omega Beams to Trigon, and the Hellfire to Darkseid. Both are reduced to ash.

Emperor Joker picks up a pile of ashy remains in his hand and speaks to it.

"C'mon Darkseid, you know what they say about playing a pigeon in chess. Win or lose, the bird is just going to crap on the board and strut around as if it won regardless of what happens!!!!" laughs Emperor Joker before he begins strutting about in a pigeon-like manner. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"