The Actual Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. George Washington's Slaves

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Agamemnon, Juno, Bizarro, Xerxes, Tlaloc, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Rodimus Prime, Black Adam, Ben Kenobi, Mary Marvel, Dr. Doom & Darth Binks in a Swiff Boat, Gungan #1-14, The Cloverfield Monster, & Parallax.

George Washington’s Slaves are Arisia, Ben Skywalker, Capt. Bicard in an F-22, Colossus, Cthulu, Dare the Terminator, Inspector Gadget, Jason Bourne, Loki, Martian Manhunter, Neo, Optimus Prime, Red Dragon #10, Sonny, Spongebob Squarepants, Super Soldier, T-1000, Trinity in the Bat-Copter, Wedge & Capt. Kirk in the Shuttle Tyderium, Windcharger, & Yoda.


O.K., lets do this. Remember how the other version started out when Dave Bowman & Cthulu killed each other, or ate each other, or sent each other to an alternate dimension or whateves. Well, that happened in this one too (shout out to my boy Becks, Get well soon). Basically, I liked that beginning, and we’re gonna keep it. As the battle begins, the Slaves use their vehicles to take control of the air while the Commandos hang low by the water. Agamemnon & Tlaloc lead the rest of the Titans, who have all out-fitted themselves with submersible Cymek bodies down deep below the water’s surface. The Titans are joined by Bizarro, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, & Parallax. Dumbledore has joined Dr. Doom & his personal body guard Darth Binks in their swiff boat which is buzzing around the waters in a clumsy fashion with Lord Binks behind the controls. Capt. Tarpals is leading the other 14 Gungans thru the water as they easily swim thru the rough waves just like they all have done many times on their home planet of Naboo. High in the air, Wedge leads the Slaves in The Shuttle Tyderium while he is being flanked by Capt. Bicard in an F-22 to his right and Trinity in the Bat-Copter to his left. Wedge is joined by Capt. Kirk in his co-pilots seat, but Yoda, Ben Skywalker, Colossus, & Dare the Terminator are on board as well. Arisia, Martian Manhunter, & Super Soldier are flying behind the 3 aircrafts as well. The rest of the Slaves have stealthily dispersed themselves throughout the water down below. Optimus Prime & Rodimus Prime are floating barely above the water when they begin battling one another. The fight is not going on very long before Optimus busts open Rodimus’ chest and destroys his spark (WHAT!!!! I’m posting this crap on the internet, if some Transformers geek finds this and I don’t have Optimus win in like 4 seconds flat, they will probably show up at my house and murder me). Darth Binks swiftly drives their Swiff boat thru the waters John Kerry style, not even noticing that Jason Bourne has hooked himself onto the side of the boat and is slowly sneaking up the side. Before the boat’s threesome even notices that Bourne has made his way onto the boat, Bourne sneaks up behind Dr. Doom and breaks his neck. Darth Binks ignites his crimson lightsaber and says to Jason Bourne “Yusa gonna die now Okkee-day” Bourne just glares at him with that cool look on his face and does not say a word. The evil Binks swings at him, but Bourne ducks out of the way and drop-kicks the Gungan Sith in the back of the head. Bourne then comes up from behind the dizzied Binks and grabs the lightsaber right out of his hand. Bourne then kills Darth Binks with his own lightsaber. Bourne stands ready to do battle with Darth Binks’ lightsaber still ignited and in his hands with Dumbledore. Bourne moves at the powerful wizard, but Dumbledore blasts him with his wand and kills him. Dumbledore then runs to the front of the boat to try and take control of it, but before he can he is targeted by one of Shuttle Tyderium’s proton torpedoes and blown out of the water. Harry Potter takes the lead atop his broomstick and travels high above the water with Mary Marvel & Black Adam behind him. The 3 flying Commandos have a plan to attack The Slaves aircraft, but they are met by Martian Manhunter, Arisia, & Super Soldier. Black Adam punches thru Super Soldier’s Shield with his left hand and then uses his right to punch thru the hero’s head, but Martian Manhunter uses his optic blast to put down Mary Marvel. Arisia & Harry Potter continue to battle fiercely, even after the first 2 battles conclude and Martian Manhunter starts to fight with Black Adam. Black Adam, is about to scream “Shazam” when John Jonzz uses his telepathic abilities to enter into Black Adam’s mind and shut down his speech. Black Adam continues to use his immense strength against The Manhunter, but the green Martian outsmarts him. Martian Manhunter uses his shape-shifting abilities to make himself look like Mary Marvel. This throws Black Adam into a state of confusion which gives John enough time to attack his opponent and finish off Black Adam with a series of fierce melee attacks. Harry Potter manages to out fly Arisia on his broom and dodge all of her green energy attacks. The young wizard allows the young green lantern to tire out before he hits her with a quite powerful spell to finish her off. Potter smiles after his victory, but his happiness is short-lived as Martian Manhunter blasts the teenager with a deadly right hook to the face, that no spell could have stopped. Cloverfield seems to be not quite as spooked in a water setting but the monster is still shedding it’s parasites that kill Spongebob despite the water dwellers use of Ka-Ra-Tay on the dog-sized creatures. T-1000 is attempting to form it’s liquid metal body into a flotilla of some sort, but Parallax pops out of the water and breaks the terminator apart separating it’s molecules into thousands of tiny yellow pieces. Neo dives below the water’s surface and begins battling with Bizarro. Though neither of the combatants are necessarily at home in the water, their powers provide them with the means to be hardly affected by the water around them. Bizarro swings wildly at the “One”, but Neo continually blocks his attacks. The 2 of them are equally matched power wise, but Neo has the definite edge when it comes to intelligence. Bizarro uses brute force against Neo, while Neo tries to outsmart the Bizarro world version of his former teammate; but then thinks that if you can’t beat em join em. Neo then conjures up every bit of strength he has, and strains despite the fact that he knows he can do anything if he simply believes it to be possible and rips off Bizarro’s head. Cloverfield rips apart Windcharger and Red Dragon #10, while The Creature from the Black Lagoon finds himself in a state of serious depression after he realizes that the 2 hard fought battles he just won against Sonny and Inspector Gadget provide no meat for him to consume. Loki then uses his powers of mischief to make Cloverfield and The Creature believe that they must do battle with each other for sea dominance. Once these 2 teammates turn on one another, it is not long before Cloverfield rips the Creature apart. Cloverfield is then about to go on a complete rampage when Capt. Bicard saves both teams by firing all 4 of his missiles at Cloverfield to destroy him completely. Trinity breaks away from the air convoy and brings the Bat-Copter down low toward the water. She is instantly swarmed by Gungans which causes her to panic until she realizes that Batman has already stocked The Bat-Copter with what she needs. Trinity reaches into the compartment to her left and pulls out a can of Gungan repellant which she uses to kill Gungans #1, 4, 8, & 14. Ben Kenobi swims up behind Optimus Prime and attaches himself to the underwater hull of the very aware Autobot, in a way that only a Jedi Master can. In true Jedi fashion, Kenobi waits patiently until Optimus moves to lift his large body out of the water. Once he does, Kenobi ignites his lightsaber and then moves quickly to slice the head of the Transformer off before he even knew that he was being attacked. Parallax tries to telepathically enter into the mind of Loki, but the god of mischief does not fear the being. Parallax finds himself trapped in a world that he can not understand, and is destroyed by his inability to induce fear or control the mind of the son of Odin. Trinity runs out of Gungan repellant, but she still continues to fight on with the Capt. Tarpals led Gungans. She kills Gungan #2, 5, 6, 9, & 11 with her plethora of fighting skills but she is not quite fast enough to stop Capt. Tarpals, who sneaks up behind her with his Otah Gunga pistol and says “Dodgem this” as he blows her head off. Ben Kenobi is using Optimus Prime’s body as a raft, but he knows that the huge hunk of metal will not float forever. He is all alone on the back of his defeated opponent when Loki, Martian Manhunter, & Neo all fly down to meet him. Kenobi appears old and tired, which may be why he is slightly underestimated by Loki. Martian Manhunter tried to warn the Asgardian about the skills of Jedi no matter how old and worn out they appear, but he learns quickly that Loki does not heed good advice like his old friend Thor used to despite their kinship. Obi Wan ignites his lightsaber once again and quickly removes the head of Loki, but after this surprise attack The Manhunter and the Chosen One quickly dispatch him. Although Yoda has no desire to engage the Cymeks in the water he knows that it is the only course of action, so he orders Wedge to fly in low and begin strafing the water. Capt. Bicard takes the lead, but the Cymeks come partially out of the water to meet them. Xerxes fires a powerful rocket at Bicard’s F-22 which he is unable to avoid. Yoda takes Ben Skywalker with him in an escape pod and sends Dare the Terminator and Colossus off in a separate escape pod while Wedge and Capt. Kirk attack from the Shuttle. As the escape pods hit the water, Yoda takes charge of the water forces, much like he did in the air. The Slaves use the escape pods as rafts to work their way to the enemy. Yoda leads Ben Skywalker and Death Devil (oops I mean Dare the Terminator, Death Devil would be her name if the people at Amalgam Comics new what cool was) against Juno while Martian Manhunter attacks Xerxes and Neo attacks Tlaloc. The Titans have an amazing size advantage over any member of The Slaves, but they are up against a significant amount of power. Xerxes and The original Titan leader Tlaloc go down fairly easy as Martian Manhunter phases thru the metal hull of Xerxes and then pulls out his human brain, but this does disrupt him telepathically as he holds a brain that is rich with centuries worth of information. Neo simply raises his hand toward Tlaloc to totally disrupt his electrical field and short out all of his systems, including his brain’s life support but, he is only able to do it once as he is put into some sort of trance after he does it. Juno uses a small, barely visible laser cannon to disintegrate Dare the Terminator’s head, but Ben Skywalker keeps the Titan busy with his lightsaber while Yoda concentrates hard to slowly pull the metal plating off of Juno with the force. Yoda is able to pull away the numerous protective barriers that cover up Juno’s human brain, but Juno still has several weapons, such as her retractable arms which she uses to grab a hold of Ben Skywalker and then rip the young Jedi in half. Yoda is saddened by the loss of such a young Jedi with so much potential, but the Jedi Master honors what young Skywalker fought for and he goes in for the kill as he ignites his own lightsaber and drives it in to the brain of Juno. Colossus manages to get Gungan #13 in a bear hug, but shortly after this the powerful mutant in his organic metal form floats down to the bottom of the ocean, as he is unable to sustain his massive weight above the water. Yoda regroups with Neo & Martian Manhunter and the 3 of them are surrounded by Gungans. The Gungans feel significantly more comfortable in the water setting than there opponents, but in the end superior fighting style wins out as neo kills Capt. Tarpals with a karate chop to the head, as well as Gungan #3 & 12. Yoda takes out Gungan #10, and Martian Manhunter takes out Gungans #7 & 13. Agamemnon targets Shuttle Tyderium with a series of heat seeking missiles, but Wedge takes evasive action. Despite the lack of maneuverability of the Imperial Ship Wedge does an amazing job of avoiding the projectiles, but one missile does clip their left wing. Capt. Kirk looks over at Wedge with a look of dread on his face, knowing what is about to happen. From the back of The Shuttle Tyderium Nofee pops up along with the music and lyrics that say “Priceline Negotiator”. I’m just kidding, that is so stupid; I don’t know why I wrote that. The 2 veteran pilots know that there is no recovering from such a hit which is why without saying a word they agree on what to do as Wedge crashes The Shuttle Tyderium nose first into the top of Agamemnon; killing them, but destroying the Titan Cymek leader as well.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!