Friday, May 15, 2009

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Command

The Backyardigans are Red Hulk, Doomsday, Dark Phoenix, & War Skrull #2.

The Commandos are IG-88, Ben Kenobi, Black Adam, The Cloverfield Monster, Lazarus Long in a Tie-Bomber, Dora, Backpack, Boots, Map, & Dozer #1.


As the battle begins, the 2 Red Hulks flank Doomsday while Dark Phoenix takes flight. Dark Phoenix can tell telepathically that there is a creature of great power from another world within the vicinity and that she cannot have such competition. She ignites her Phoenix force and burns thru the skies toward Cloverfield. She inadvertently kills Dozer #1 on the way to the battle and The Map ignites into flames just from being within about 100 yards of the cosmic fire. Dark Phoenix lifts Cloverfield into the air with her telekinesis and the 2 of them fly into the outer rim orbit at the speed of light. Once in space she uses the Phoenix force to completely disintegrate Cloverfield. The overly apathetic Jean Grey then flies off into the Rishey Mays, beyond the outer rim to explore more interesting events. Black Adam squares off with Doomsday. The 2 powerhouses cause shockwaves that are felt all the way from Mos Espa to Anchorhead with the punches that they land on each other. Ben Kenobi and IG-88 team up to take on one of the Rulks while Dora sneaks up on the other one. Dora empties Backpack and then jumps onto the back of Rulk. Dora then puts Backpack over his head and jumps off. The blinded Rulk flails around with Backpack on his head, ripping the poor piece of living school material apart. This confusion works to opens him up to an attack from the sky. Lazarus Long radios back to the rest of the team to complain about how slow Tie-Bombers are but Lazarus switches the power from the Imperial ships lasers to the engines to boost the speed and then unloads some massive fire power into Rulk. When Lazarus pulls up the only thing left of the Red Hulk standing on the ground is the dead body of War Skrull #2. Rulk runs straight thru the laser blasts of IG-88 as the droid takes off with his jet pack. Rulk jumps into the air and pulls the bounty hunter droid down with him. Rulk quickly mangles the droid into a ball of scrap metal and then throws what is left of the droid at Lazarus Long’s Tie-Bomber. The oldest living human is able to crash land the wrecked ship in the sand and pop out. Long then regroups with Dora and Boots. Dora gives Lazarus the gun that he had put into Backpack and that she grabbed out for him, but Lazarus instead throws the gun to Boots “Here ya go buddy, you might need this” Lazarus says as he reaches under his kilt to grab his other gun and vibroblade. Black Adam has successfully worn out Doomsday, but it comes at a heavy price. Black Adam thinks he can finish off the creature with one yell of “Shazam”, but Doomsday can tell that something is up. Doomsday grabs Black Adam by the throat and squeezes so hard that Black Adam can not yell his famous attack word. Eventually Doomsday’s grip becomes so tight that it snaps the neck of the powerful Black Adam and kills him. Lazarus tells Dora and Boots to follow his lead because he has a plan. Lazarus, Dora, & Boots all stand about 8’ from Rulk and begin shooting him. Dora and Boots just like they are ordered begin singing the “we did it song” while Lazarus is simultaneously humming Elvis tunes. The bullets do little against the thick skin of Rulk who turns to the trio and asks: “Do you truly think that your puny weapons can do anything other than temporarily distract me”? Lazarus Long looks at Rulk and simply answers “No”, while Ben Kenobi rushes up behind the arrogant Rulk and rips thru his neck with his lightsaber. Ben looks over to Lazarus and says: “I have to admit Lazarus; I didn’t think that was going to work”. Lazarus replies with “In all honesty Ben, neither did I”. Lazarus and Ben’s conversation ends abruptly as they tell Dora and Boots to get behind them. Doomsday is approaching and the Jedi and Methuselah duo get into their battle stances. Dora clutches the pencil she pulled out of Backpack and rushes in toward Doomsday yelling “God save Obama”! But Doomsday picks up his foot and stomps on the poor little girl. Kenobi and Long both scream “NOOOOOOO” at the sight of their young teammate’s death and rush in as well. Lazarus Long busts out some good moves but Doomsday grabs him by his head and left leg and then pulls him apart. Kenobi manages to take off a few of Doomsday spikes and to damage Doomsday’s right leg but once Doomsday knocks Kenobi’s lightsaber out of his hand, the aging Jedi Master is toast. Ben manages to hold the approaching Doomsday back with the force momentarily but Ben is not powerful enough to do it forever. Doomsday fights his way thru the force push and crushes in Obi Wan’s skull (he hasn’t gone by the name of Obi Wan, since oh….. the entire length of this match). Doomsday begins to walk away thinking that the battle is won when he is all of the sudden faced by a new threat. The valiant Boots stands alone with Ben Kenobi’s lightsaber ignited in his right hand and Lazarus Long’s vibroblade in his left. “This battle isn’t over, you’re gonna pay for all of the good people you murdered today Doomsday”. Boots says defiantly to Doomsday. As the epic battle begins…… Well never mind, I mean how do you think it ended?
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!

2 comments:

Lickolas said...

Nice match Becks, for some reason I actually thought I was going to win that match. I am humbled by the power of AL.

Solobeck said...

Great match! Great end! Nickatu: I needed this one and my team had to win more than you did since we still haven't shored our spot in the playoffs. It's been a hard time this year for B3.
-B2
p.s.: See you tomorrow morn at the Con!