George Washington's Slaves vs Better Than All of You

George Washington’s Slaves are Sgt. Slaughter, Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog.

Better Than All of You is Snake Eyes and Gwar: Oderus Urungus, Flattus Maximus, Balsac The Jaws of Death, Beefcake the Mighty, Jizmack da Gusha, Slymenstra Hymen, The Sexecutioner, & Sleazey P. Martini.

Gwar comes busting wildly into Sandy’s By The Beech in Redford, Michigan, which The Renegades don’t take too kindly to. They stomp in there and start throwing their weight around, knocking down patrons. Sgt. Slaughter stands up and says to Oderus Urungus “At ease, disease. Welcome to Sandy’s.” Oderus then starts to piss all over the Sarge, which he receives a face full of fist for. Sgt. Slaughter then finishes off the leader of Gwar by grabbing a knife from the chef and jamming it into his throat. This causes Gwar to charge the rest of the Renegades, but if you’ve ever been at Sandy’s, you would know that there’s no way Gwar would be able to move around in their costumes inside the small bar. This allows the Renegades to quickly gain the upper hand on the metal band. Mercer takes out Sleazy P. Martini and Flattus Maximus as Red Dog kills Beefcake the Mighty. Balsac The Jaws of Death tries to break a chair over Taurus’s head, but he just laughs it off as he shoots Balsac away. Slymenstra Hymen then makes a really stupid mistake; she bumps into Colleen while she has a tray full of beers in her hands. See, even though there is an all out brawl going on, people are still ordering. Colleen grabs a broken bottle and grinds it into Slymenstra’s throat, causing blood to spurt and spray everywhere. “Goddamn annoying b!#%$,” Colleen says as she walks back to the bar to get more drinks. Sgt. Slaughter then wraps Jizmack da Gusha in a headlock and pulls back hard until he hears the pop of his vertebrae. The three Renegades then make quick work of The Sexecutioner. They then go to sit back down at their table, but Red Dog stops moving and then falls to the ground with a throwing star in the back of his neck. Before Taurus and Mercer can turn around and react, they both are shot several times in the chest. “Snake Eyes. I never thought I’d have to take you down,” says Sgt. Slaughter as he sees the last member of Better Than All of You, who was hiding and waiting. Snake Eyes then says… nothing. (Come on, you didn’t actually think I’d have Snake Eyes talk? The only thing more ridiculous than that would be for Superman to randomly show up and win a match for a team he’s not even on. And that would never happen. Right?) Sgt. Slaughter tackles Snake Eyes through the round table closest to the exit. Snake Eyes then leaps back to his feet and dropkicks the Sarge over the bar. As Snake Eyes jumps over the bar after him, Sgt. Slaughter grabs a hold of the ninja and slams him into the back of the bar where all the bottles are. He then brings his fists up into a double axe handle and starts slamming them down onto Snake Eyes chest. The ninja is then able to stick a knife into the Sarge’s leg, which allows him to roll back to his feet and then drive his katana blade into Sgt. Slaughter’s chest, finally finishing this fight.

BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!