Slaves Vs. Kitties

Season 6: Week 6.
The Slaves are: Black Lantern Superman, The Living Tribunal, Fernus, Jek Porkins in A-wing w/R2 unit #1, Dak Ralter and Green Àrrow(Connor Hawke) in a B-wing, The Protectobots (Blades, Hot Spot, First Aid, Grooves, Streetwise: combine to form Defensor), Windcharger, Movie Bumblebee, Prowl, Blurr, Zombie Mastermold, Aboard the shuttle Tydirium: Capt. James T. Kirk, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard, Speedy (Mia), Batgirl (Cassandra) Wicked Witch of the West w/Devil Lance, Timmell w/Darth Nihilus' lightsaber, Crimmell w/Red lightsaber, Sunspot, Venom(Mac Gargan), Kole and Gnark, Elongated Man, R2 Unit #2.

The Kitties are: Vampire Starfire, The Black Racer, Max, Sharkboy and Lavagirl aboard the Shark Ship, Kingdom Come Green Lantern (Alan Scott), King Marvel, Lady Marvel, Power Woman, and KC Robotman, Don-El, Van Zee, Vitar, and the Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, The Silverhawks (Quicksilver/Tallyhawk, Steelheart/Razor, Steelwill/Stronghold, Copper Kid/Mayday, Hotwing/Gyro, Flashback/Backlash, Moon Styker/Tailspin, and Bluegrass) aboard the Miraj, Green and Red Lantern Guy Gardner, Aboard the Imperial Shuttle: IG-88, Kyle and Zack Houslander, Carrie Bradshaw, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Dum, Mother Mae Eye, Metaknight, Dark Supergirl, White Lantern Batman.

NuFaGtu is clearly bummed as he walks though the streets of his neighborhood, kicking rocks. "Man, I don't want to be a douche and DQ teams, but i had to do something... Didn't I?" he mutters to himself. Suddenly, his special Watcher signal watch lights up. "Hey 'FaGs, Josh the Commish here. Listen, Robimus is trashed, do you want to watch Slaves v. Kitties?" "Would I? Beam me up, Scottie!"

The Shuttle Tydirium is the designated flagship for the Slaves this week. It is jam packed with the members of the team that can't survive in space. It is drifting aimlessly for the moment. Capt. Kirk and Capt. Picard are having a discussion. "How did we get stuck with a pile of junk like this anyway? One thing's for sure, it's no Enterprise." says Kirk. "Agreed. Frankly, I have no idea how to pilot something like this." adds Picard. "That's your problem, Jean-Luc. Sometimes you've just got to wing it." Kirk takes the controls and finds that the shuttle is relatively easy to fly. "I suppose I'll man Tactical." says Picard. "You do that." replies Kirk. "You're better at that sort of thing anyways." admits Kirk. The shuttle is hailed. "On screen" orders Picard. It is Sharkboy, Lavagirl, and Max aboard the Sharkship. "I demand that you surrender at once, or face the wrath of Sharkboy!" yells Sharkboy. Lavagirl pushes him. "What he means to say, is that we will gladly consider the terms of your surrender." explains Lavagirl. Max can be heard talking to himself out of frame. "This has got to be one of the craziest dreams I've ever had." he says. Sharkboy interrupts. "Surrender or..." Picard makes he throat slashing motion, and communication is cut off. "Remind you of anyone?" grins Picard as he studies the ship's sensors. "Ha," laughs Kirk. "So what's the play, Jean-Luc?" asks Kirk. A sly smile crosses the lips of Picard. "Wait for it.." A speeding, severly overloaded A-wing piloted by notorious fatass Jek Porkins and R2 #1 flies out of control into the Shark Ship. The explosion destroys both starships and passengers. "Ha! Good show, old man!" laughs Kirk. A still smirking Picard scans space to check on his teammates.

A B-wing piloted by Dak Ralter is giving chase to the miniture Kryptonians, The Kandorian Superman Emergency squad. With Green Arrow Connor Hawke at the guns, the B-wing is racking up an impressive body count. Despite the size of the small targets, Green Arrow finally finishes off Don-El, Van Zee and Vitar, as well as Superman Emergency Squad #1-5. "Man, I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself!" says the opimistic Star Wars rebel. "Empire? I thought that there are the Kitties..." says a confused Green Arrow. Their conversation is cut short by a blast from the Silverhawks ship, The Miraj. The B-wing is in serious trouble. "Oh, man, not like this!" worries Dak. Green Arrow keeps his head in the game and unloads the B-wing's substantial payload on The Miraj. The Miraj is heavily damaged, and the Silverhawks emerge from the ship, leaving only Bluegrass to pilot. The Silverhawks concentrate their weapons on the B-wing, crippling it further. "Looks like this is it." says Connor. "Almost..." replies Dak, flying the B-wing directly at the Miraj. "Chicken, eh? I'm game!" says Bluegrass. The ships collide with a huge explosion, and the Silverhawks are sent sprawling by the impact. Quicksilver gathers his team. "Is everybody ok?" he asks. They are pretty banged up, but no serious injuries. "Hey, did anyone see where our hawks went?" asks Steelheart. The Silverhawks look around, but their robotic partners are nowhere to be found. Flashback suddenly holds his head in pain. "Noooooo! he screams. "I thought... no....I already stopped this from happening once! Not... again..." rambles the time travelling Flashback. The Silverhawks are overtaken by half built, semi-functioning Sentinels. They fight valiantly, but are simply no match. They are grabbed and taken to Zombie Mastermold. He is in the process of converting their robotic hawks into new Sentinels. "Your materials are needed to produce more Sentinels." says Zombie Mastermold. The Silverhawks struggle, but all are processed.

In another area of space, the Slaves Transformers confront the Kitties Kingdom Come crew, who are joined by Vampire Starfire. Windcharger, Prowl, and Movie Bumblebee fire their weapons, while Blurr speeds in for a quick kill on King Marvel. Lady Marvel returns the favor, destroying Blurr with her lighting. The Transformers weapon blasts are deflected by a force shield from GL Alan Scott. Windcharger uses his magnetic power to rip the lantern out of Alan Scott's armor, killing him. Windcharger again uses his magnetism to rip KC Robotman in two. Windcharger is felled by Power Woman and Lady Marvel, as they fly through him at incredible speeds. Prowl and Vampire Starfire are exchanging fire. Using his advanced logic core, Prowl easily finds the correct vector needed to end this fight. A few expert shots from his acid cannon, and Vampire Starfire is done for. Prowl sees Power Woman and Lady Marvel charging in again, hoping to duplicate their previous success. He dodges the attack, but Movie Bumblebee isn't so lucky, ripped in half. Prowl knows that this isn't his old friend, but is still shocked by this sight. He is blindsided by the KC women, and is severly damaged. Prowl feels his All-Spark leaving, and looks to Bumblebee. Near death, Bumblebee's eyes flash one last time as he looks at Prowl. "Don't stop...Believin!" are Bumblebee's final words, lyrics from the Journey song of the same name. Prowl isn't sure what to make of this, until his fading optics catch a glimpse of Defensor, the Protectobots' combined form. Prowl dies with a smile. "Go get em, big guy..." The KC ladies speed directly at Defensor. Defensor's massively powerful laser speeds directly at them. The laser is victorious. Zombie Mastermold approaches Defensor. "Your materials are needed to process more Sentinels.." Defensor struggles, but the Sentinel army is too much for even him. He is consumed by Zombie Mastermold.

Back at the Shuttle Tyridium, The Slaves are getting a little antsy. Timell and Crimell are arguing over a way to finally get Alan Trammell into the Hall of Fame. Timmell argues for a legal petition, while Crimmell simply wants to rig the vote. The rest are playing cards, while R2 #2 is serving beverages. The Elongated Man speaks up. "Isn't there something else that we could be doing? Y'know... something useful?" Chick Speedy talks him down. "Ralph, none of us can survive deep space. We're stuck here until we are boarded or destroyed. And it's your deal." she says, handing him the playing cards. A Red Alert gets everybodys' attention. The ship is hailed by Zombie Mastermold. "Your materials are needed to produce more Sentinels." Picard is not amused. "Mastermold. We are on the same team. Continue following your orders, which are to destroy tThe Kitties. Do you understand?" Zombie Mastermold takes a moment to compute the data. "Illogical. More Sentinels are required to destroy Kitties. Your materials..." Picard again motions to kill the transmission. He shakes his head and speaks to Kirk. "I've dealt with beings like this before. It's programming is corrupt. He won't stop after the Kitties are dead.." states Picard grimly. There is a long pause as the Captains weigh their options. They look at each other solemnly as their consensus is reached. "Time to save the Universe again." says Kirk with a steely look in his eyes. "All crewmembers, brace for impact!" orders Picard. "Wait.... What?!?" yells Elongated Man. The ship plots a corse for Zombie Mastermold. "Engage." orders Picard as Kirk hits the hyperdrive. The explosion is enormous as the shuttle collides with the giant robot. With the destruction of Zombie Mastermold, the nearby Sentinels also power down. The Universe is once again saved.

At the Kitties Imperial Shuttle, things are more laid back. They have decided to accept the downtime for what it is, and enjoy it. IG-88 pilots the ship, as Red and Green Guy Gardner and Black Racer patrol the outside. Fred has predictably slipped away with Daphne and Carrie Bradshaw. Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Scooby-Dum have also disappeared. A strange smoke and unique odor begins filling the shuttle. "Jinkies, not again," cries Velma. Mother Mae Eye is attempting to entice Kyle and Zack with one of her magic pies. "You'll love your new mother, you'll see." she says. "Don't even try it lady! Them kids are mine!" declares White Lantern Batman, slapping the pie away. He looks at the young men. "How would you boys like to be my newest Robins?" asks a smiling White Lantern. "Yeah!" exclaims Zack. "Hold on Zack." says Kyle. "Aren't you the Batman that goes though Robins like a bum goes through wine?" asks Kyle. "No, you must be thinking of YELLOW Lantern Batman. That guy's a real creep! Just stick with me and I'll make sure that I... er, WE get through this thing!" reassures Batman. In the corner of the ship, Dark Supergirl can be seen rocking back and forth insanely. Seems that she is still not quite recovered from last weeks horror. "I'm a Kittie..." she repeats to herself, occasionally laughing quietly. Metaknight simply pratices his almost unstoppable attacks by himself. Their downtime is ended by an alarm triggered by IG-88.
"Attention useless meatbags. Prepare for impact." warns IG-88. The Kitties gather around a viewer, and see Black Lantern Superman and Fernus on a collision course with the ship. "Awesome! Clark's here. Time for a little "World's Finest" action! Let's go Robins! You too Supergirl! Maybe seeing your cousin will cheer you up!" says White Lantern Batman. He envelopes Kyle, Zack, and Dark Supergirl in a force field and exits the ship. He carelessly leaves the airlock open, which kills eveyone inside by explosive decompression. Red and Green Lantern Guy Gardner and Black Racer have their hands full with Fernus, leaving BL Superman to deal with the quartet of Kitties. "Clark! Brother, you look terrible! Check it out! I brought your cousin! Go give him a hug Kara!" says White Lantern Batman. "H... H... Hi Kal." stutters Dark Supergirl. as she flies to BL Superman. Her heart is quickly ripped out. "Whoa! Clark, you're kinda freakin me out here! Don't make me sic my newest Dynamic Duo on you!" challenges WL Batman. Kyle looks to his brother. "We're doomed." he says. Zack simply nods his head in agreement. BL Superman races in to rip the boys' hearts out, but their white aura destroys the Black Lantern as he touches it. "Wait, that's not right... did you boys forget your training already?" says a disappointed WL Batman.

Red and Green Lantern Guy Gardner is really putting the hurt on Fernus.Looks like there ARE good lantern ring combinations, provided they're on the right character. Guy is battering the deranged Martian with constructs, and is loving every minute of it. "DIE you freak! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screams Guy. Fernus takes a chance and changes his form, assuming the identity of his former self, The Martian Manhunter. Guy hesitates. "J'onn? No... You're dead! DEAD!!!" screams Guy, vomitting flaming plasma at Fernus. "Oh no. fire. My one weakness." laughs Fernus, as this is obviously no longer the case. A stunned Gardner is hit by Martian vision, and is blasted into the Kitties shuttle, destroying them both. Fernus is still laughing when The Black Racer grabs him from behind. "You are a threat to the natural order of the Universe. You must be destroyed." calmly states The Black Racer. "Death is merely another transition to Martians. Your form is the threat. Do you see what I mean?" asks Fernus. The Martian mentally connects with the Black Racer telepathically. Their beliefs struggle against each other, until they both drop. Their minds are completely destroyed.

WL Batman, Kyle and Zack Houslander are the only Kitties remaining. They float alone in the vastness of space. "Looks like Batman has done it again! If you youngsters stick with me, someday you'll be heroes too!" says WL Batman cheerfully. "But... he didn't do anything..." Zack whispers to Kyle. The Living Tribunal appears before the Kitties. "No matter what happens, just keep standing in front of me." orders Batman. The Tribunal points to Kyle and Zack. "Isn't this a school night? The cosmos demands that you continue your education. You are innocent. You will be spared." judges the Tribunal. He teleports Kyle and Zack home, where a stack of homework is still waiting. "Oh, man..." lament the two. Back in space, White Lantern Batman is livid! "What the hell, man?!? I don't teleport your sidekicks to safety!" yells WL Batman. "SILENCE FOOLISH MORTAL!!!" booms the voice of the Tribunal. "No, YOU silence!!! I took out Emperor Joker single-handedly. How much trouble could you be?" snaps WL Batman. The Living Tribunal has had enough. The thumbs down is given. "The White ring has no place in the cosmos and is harmful to the natural order of the Universe. You are judged guilty." says The Tribunal. Before White Lantern can plead his case, or more likely talk back some more, his White Lantern ring dissipates. He is gasping for air that will never come. The ensuing explosive decompression is a fitting end, shared by those he abandoned in the shuttle. Batman has just enough time to strike an overy dramatic pose before his head pops.