Layanderlett's Super Orange Kittiess and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind screamed like a woman in labor. The moon ducked behind the trees like a mentally challenged child playing peek-a-boo. The air smelled like teen spirit (the deodorant, not the song. One cannot smell a song). Tires squealed as the dilapidated blue van came to a halt in front of the high school. The lot was filled with young people dressed to kill, and a Katy Perry song wafted its way out of the gaudily decorated gymnasium. There was something mysterious going on here all right, and the Groovy Gang meant to get to the bottom of it.
“Why are all these males waltzing around here like they own the place?!” grumbled Val. “We should just kill them. Each and every one of them.”
“OK, if you think that’s what we should do….” Patty said in a flat voice. Resigned, she followed Val out of the vehicle and they waited for Sonny, Groovy, Ted, Jawa #5, Squirrel #15 and their date Purple Dragon #1.
They entered the school, splitting up to cover more ground and find more clues as to what the hell was going on with the place. Ted stopped short when he saw a “welcome” sign on the wall inside the building. He was then certain that God was telling him there was a mystery to solve here. Like Sonny had the munchies and he whispered to Groovy, “Groov, I don’t know about you, but I could go for some of those snacks on that table over there!”
Groovy nodded in his canine way and they tiptoed away from the rest of the gang slipping past the Jokester, who was manning the door but too busy cackling to notice their intrusion. At the food table, Harley Quinn the monkey popped up from behind the punch bowl and threw several of his turds, scaring Sonny so much he leapt into Groovy’s arms, trembling. “Kill the monkey,” Groovy whispered. “Kill him!”
Sonny pulled out his .44 caliber and shot the monkey square in the face, spattering blood and fecal matter on his date, Xenomorph #58. In anguish over the death of his love, Xenomorph picked up the oversized punch bowl and smashed it on the ground, then used the broken glass to cut into his wrist. His acidic blood sprayed forth, coating Groovy’s body and eating through his skin right down to his bones. Sonny grabbed as many finger sandwiches as he could and crammed them down Xenomorph’s throat, suffocating him. Jawa #5 and Squirrel #15 had come up behind Sonny, but he was still so shaken and hungry that without realizing what he was doing, he ripped off a table cloth and smothered them both. When he realized what he had done, he shrugged and grinned sheepishly, then went about stuffing his face. He ate and ate until he began to feel a searing pain in his abdomen. Even then, he kept eating and eating until he forced his stomach to burst.
The Jokester was still at the door, and had stopped the rest of the group short. Giggling like a fool, he inquired, “where are your prom tickets?” When no one responded, he reached out to Patty as if to shake her hand, but when she took hold of it a great electric shock shot through her and her lifeless body crumpled to the floor. “he he he he, that hand buzzer gets em every time!!” He then proceeded to bash Purple Dragon #1 over the head with a giant hammer, snickering the whole time.
The Jokester stopped once the dragon’s face was no longer identifiable, and Ted flashed him his most charming smile, his teeth gleaming eerily in the pulsating light of the strobe on the dance floor. He flirted with the Jokester for a moment, convincing him to go behind the bleachers, then strangled him just as they were starting to make out. He returned to what was left of the group-Val.
“ok gang. Let’s solve this mystery!”