S8W5: Midgets vs. Kitties

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are:  Ron Popeil, Jedi Master #33A-35A &17B-19B, Velociraptor #21-23, Dwarf#1 on Pony#1, Ent Wife #1, Troll#1, Evil Dwarf#1, Bene Gesserit Reverend Mothers #1 &5-6, New Sisterhood Reverend Mother #1, Honored Matre #1, Bene Gesserit#2, Mentat #1, Centaur #1-6, Gold Dragon #3-8, Green Dragon #27, Purple Dragon #13, Brass Dragon #7, Copper Dragon #10, Dragon #1, Griffin #11, Storm Trooper #62-71, Sand Trooper #11-22, Ice Bros #1-6, Zombie Silver Dragon #2, Suk Doctor #19, Avian #1, Balrog #3, Dark Jedi Master #13A-14A, Nightbrother #2 & 4, Dark Side Acolyte #2, Dark Side Adept #3, NCIS crew (Mike Franks, Dr. Donald Mallard, Abby Sciuto), Flint Fireforge, Thorin Oakenshield, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Bombur, Ori, Dori, Kili, Fili, Bifur, Bofur.

Layanderletsons’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are: Scott Pilgrim, Wallace Wells, Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Dr. Liet Kynes, Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola, Dr. Pardot Kynes Ghola, Tugg Speedman “Four Leaf Tayback”, Kirk Lazarus “Sgt. Lincoln Osiris”, Jeff Portnoy “Fats”, Alpa Chino “Motown”, Kevin Sandusky “Brooklyn”, Princess Wensica, The Peach, Assassin X, Major Maxim, Natalie Kassie, Deuce, Abbey Chase, Silicon Valerie, Sydney Savage, J.C., Secret Agent Zero, President Skroob, Scott Evil, Fat Bastard, Zak Saturday, Solomon “Doc” Saturday, Drew Saturday, Fiskerton, Komodo, Zon, Doyle Blackwell, Josh Hutcherson, Nexu #3, DArk Side Adept #14, Finn McCool, Nichol Valdez, Super Battle Droid #1-2, Copper Dragon #9, Purple Dragon #23, Bronze Dragon #7, Twisted Mentat #2, Decepticon #3-6, Predator#47, Ice Bros #7-10, Brachiosaurus #10, Xenomorph #51, Black Dragon #12, Silver Dragon #16, Brass Dragon #8, Griffin #23, Uruk Hai #1-8, Benegesserit Reverend Mother #2, Ginaz Swordsmen #13, Avian #4-5, Balrog #2, Navy Seal Chief #5-6, Droid Fighter ship #3-6, Knights of Solamnia #7-10, Jedi Master #8A-15A &50A, Duncan Idaho Ghola#2, Horse #26.

“Neigh” Says Horse #26.

“Look, Baby.  All I’m sayin’ is that I don’t care if you are 100% Horse. Maybe we don’t need to make war today.” a smooth talking Centaur #1 says stroking the mane of the exquisite looking equine.  “You have the most beautiful coat.  What I wouldn’t give to-”

WACK!!  Horse #26 suddenly gets an arrow to her head by Centaur #2 and dies instantly.

“Hey! I was just about to get those digits!” an angry Centaur #1 yells to his teammate.

“We have a battle to win.” says Centaur #2 being joined by the others. “Get over it.”

“GET IN MY BELLY!” Yells Fat Bastard running at the 6 Centaur.  Scott Evil is charging with him along with the Secret Saturdays crew.  Scott must have went back up to his bedroom before the match started because he has a gun and is able to shoot 4 of the Centaur before Doc Saturday dispatches of the other 2.  Fat Bastard immediately begins to feast on just the horse half of the 6 centaur. They are suddenly rushed by a wave of Midgets, Velociraptors and Storm Troopers move in as backup arrives for the kitties.  The Kitties Decepticons are stomping on Trolls and Dwarves while Ron Popeil has taken the Lightsabers off the fallen bodies of his comrades and is over to the side ripping parts off fallen robots and I am sure will have an invention for us soon.

Xenomorph #51 and Predator #47 are fighting even though they are on the same team.  Josh Hutcherson yells at his teammates: “Isn’t there a movie that already figured out which one of you is better?”

Brachiosaurus #10 whips his long tail around killing the Dark Jedi Masters.  Brass Dragon 7 circling overhead burns the head of the giant beast.  He falls with a mighty thud and several members of each team are crushed under his massive weight.

Scott Pilgrim climbs on the back of Black Dragon #12 and they take to the sky torching everything.  Other members from both teams follow his lead, for the Kitties, The Tropic Thunder Crew is sharing the back of Silver Dragon #16, Ron Popeil with his new invention is on the back of Copper Dragon #10 and Finn McCool on Purple Dragon #23.

On the ground, Sydney Savage, Natalie Kassie and the Danger Girl crew are ready to attack the Bene Gesserit Mothers for the Midgets.  Thorin Oakenshield and his band of dwarves give them an unexpected party and ambush their ambush.  Axes hit their mark with a satisfying crunch of bones and mist of red.  Kili, Fili, Ori and Dwalin (aww, he was my favorite) as well as the Bene Gesserits are lost in the melee but so too are the Danger girl crew.  Their celebration is short lived as the battle is fast paced.  

Both teams fight in a dense forest and the little light is making it through the canopy of the trees, is being further diffused by the swarming dragons taking their fight to the air. Dragons from both teams take shot at each other and at the forest below without regard to team affiliation.  Chaos in the sky.

The surface playoff planet suddenly moves.  The planet is alive and without warning or prediction, the entire forest disappears and is replaced by an expansive desert.  Two suns supply light to the playoff planet and both are scorching overhead.  The cover of the forest is gone and in a panic, both teams charge toward one another in that genius way that soldiers in britain used to do war back in the 1700’s before drones and nukes existed.  Sgt, Four Leaf is spraying imaginary bullets at the other dragons while Alpa Chino throws cans of Booty Sweat.

Ron Popeil on the back of his dragon is ready to unleash the “Wheel-O-Death 3000”.  Using a windshield wiper motor from one of the Decepticons and 5 lightsabers, he turns on his invention and perishes immediately.  The lightsabers were not secured properly to the invention and he and his dragon fall from the sky.  The other lightsabers become projectiles of death and kill Green Dragon #27 and Brass Dragon #8.

The planet comes alive again and the temperature plummets to -20.  Many of the still standing animals die including the last 2 Gold Dragons who fall to the ground.  The Ice Bros from each team are loving it and start to have a snowball fight.  In fact, everyone is now just throwing snow at each other.  They are having so much fun when….

The planet turns into an endless sea and everyone is plunged into the depths of ice cold water.

Within a matter of seconds, the planet returns back to the forest form from which it started the match.  Scott Pilgrim can only watch in amazement as every combatant on the ground has now vanished and is trapped inside the planet… somewhere.

He lands Black Dragon as Finn McCool and the Tropic Thunder Crew touchdown as well.  “Did you people see that!?” exclaims Finn McCool in disbelief.

“What do you mean ‘You People’?” snaps back an annoyed Osiris.

“Can it.” Says Scott Pilgrim.  “I hear something.”

Indeed a voice can be heard a few hundred yards away.  The 7 remaining (human) members of the Kitties stalk through the trees to investigate.  They see just the head of Abby Sciuto and her stupid black ponytails sticking out of the ground.

“Oh good.  Help me please!  I don’t know what happened! First I was treading water and then the water was gone!” a panicked Abby says.

Scott looks at Finn and asks,  “You want to help her out or should I?”

Finn smiles, draws his sword and approaches the wiggling head of the last Midgets member.