Week 4: Be Gentle v Barkley

Be Gentle, It's My First Time (say sike): Dr. Fate, Zeus and Hera, Dr. Strange and Wong, Black Adam with a Yellow Lantern Ring, Zombie Superman, Zilla, King Ghidorah, Nazgul 6 on its Fell Beast, 4 Cave Trolls, 5 Warg Riders and 5 Wargs, Goku w/ Green Lantern Ring, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, Tien Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiaotzu, Yajirobe, Bulma, Thengal, 14 Dwarves

Barkley's Turrible Decisions: Balrog 1-5, Treebeard, Ents  1-3, Entwives 1-2, Tom Bombadil, Smaug, Stryke, Haskeer, Colia, Jup, Alfray, and Maniorcs 1-10, Nazgul 5 on its Fell Beast, Dragons 1-3, Nurgle the Plaguelord, Skeletor, Nightcrawler, Neo-Cymeks 1-10, Krayt Dragon 1-5, Usagi Yojimbo and Jotaro, Fortress Maximus, his Head, and His Head's Head, Boba Fett, Mace Windu, Robo Barkley, Khal Drogo, Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Blanka

The Nazgul meet in the sky, both on their Fell Beast. Never would they have expected to be facing off against each other. But with brutal efficiency both execute the same attack at the same time, striking each other in a way that they are severed from the power of the rings and they both perish. The Fell Beast both attack each other at the neck and they fall from the sky, both dying.

The dark forces of Mordor sense the presence of Nurgle, who is oozing disease into the surrounding area. He is quickly confronted by the Warg Brigade, Trolls, and Dwarves seeking to end the spread of his plague. Some of the dwarves come into contact with infect fauna and begin to feel ill. In mere minutes some of the dwarves fall victim to the disease, Knowing they will likely meet a similar fate the rest of the Dwarves begin an attack on Nurgle. The 4 Cave Trolls set up a ranged attack and manage to strike the monster with large boulders, but they wipe out the surrounding dwarves. Looking to a nearby valley the Wargs and Trolls see Zilla and King Ghidora preparing to face off against Fortress Maximus (Along with his Head and his Heads Head), Smaug and Dragons 1-3. Eager to help their allies they set out. Meanwhile, the Kaiju face off against the Robot and Dragons. The Kaiju both open up with large energy attacks, the King with electronic blast and Zilla with his fire breath. Dragon 3 gets absolutely obliterated by the attack, but the others manage to survive with minor injuries. Quickly responding Fortress Maximus Slices one of Ghidorah's heads clean off, but is met with attacks from the other two. Zilla looking to back up Ghidorah aims to strike the enormous bot, but he is met with a wall of flames as Smaug hits him with concentrated fire but to little effect. Then from the sides Dragons 1 and 2 strike Zilla. But Zilla enjoys a challenge and fights back the two dragons. With no help from Zilla, Ghidorah loses a second head to Fortress Maximus' Sword. The Final head begins to charge up a large lighting blast, but striking at his neck, the blast loses all direction and detonates, destroying the Kaijus body and severely disabling Fortress and his Heads. Zilla seeing the bot disabled goes to strike when Smaug attacks the mutated lizard with another blast of flames, but this time he answers back. Overpowering Smaug with the flames, scorching his mouth, he is forced to retreat. Zilla seeing this as an opportune time approaches the still scrambled Fortress Maximus. Melting the bot with his fire, the ground below the Kaiju crumbles as Krayt Dragons 1-5 erupts from the Earth, catching Zilla off his guard. Then Smaug and the two dragons fly in from above and they all begin eating away at Zilla. In the carnage Smaug and Krayt Dragons 1-2 suffer enough wounds to fall after the battle is won. Upon arriving to help their Kaiju friends, the wargs, their riders, and the trolls are able to kill the wounded 2 dragons, before they remaining Krayt Dragons finish them off. 

Dr. Strange and Wong find themselves drawn to a small forest. They find an older looking man picking flowers. With Curiosity they ask the man his name, "Tom Bombadil" he replies, "Though I know who you are and why you are here." Strange and Wong bewildered by the strange man, begin to fear that they might be out of their element. Choosing to attack first, Strange begins sending blasts of energy at Tom, though they seem to have little effect on the man. Breaking out into song Strange and Wong begin to fear what they have gotten themselves into. The trees in the forest, responding to the song, begin to grab at the wizards. Wong is quickly caught up in some roots and is swallowed whole. Strange, floating, is able to keep himself mobile enough to not be sucked in. But Tom was just beginning his song and attacks began to increase, and soon the poor doctor found himself struck with a stick through his chest, falling from the air. But shortly after the death of Dr. Strange, Dr. Fate approached Tom. Sensing his great power, but the great need for a preliminary message of wisdom, he quickly attacked the man. In a weird sense of irony, Dr. Fate crushed crazy Bombadil with the same tree that sucked up Wong. 

Thengal finds himself in the presence of two things he never would have expected to see, a Brazilian Electric Monkey Man and An African American Cyborg. Sword in hand he swings at his opponents, Blanka quickly counter attacks the King of Rohan, he is struck down. But as he draws his sword from Blanka's corpse, Robo Barkley dunks his head into a nearby rock, killing him on impact. 

The Z Fighters all arrive at the battle. Stryke, Haskeer, Colia, Jup, Alfray, and Maniorcs 1-10 stand opposite, along with Usagi Yojimbo, Jotaro, Boba Fett, and Mace Windu. Tien Shinhan, Yajirobe, Bulma are quickly cut down as Boba Fett fires a wrist rocket following it up with a flame attack. But in retaliation, Gohan and Krillin kill the bounty hunter. Mace Windu pulls Krillin close enough that the orcs are able to cut him down, but Gohan, Yamcha, and Chiaotzu cut down the Maniorcs. The final orcs get in formation and are able to kill Chiaotzu and wound Yamcha before dying. Jotaro swings in to finish off the wounded Yamcha, and Piccolo now moves into to strike him, but Usagi jumps in to protect his friend and slices the Namekian in two with his lightsaber. Goku and Gohan strike the two rabbits. But Windu follows up quickly slicing Gohan and continuing to overpower Goku, But the Jedi tires quickly compared to the Sayin, and due to his nature Goku does not feed Mace any energy. Goku finishes off the Jedi Master with a Kamehameha. 

Zeus and Hera (in a human form) standoff against Treebeard, Ents 1-3, Entwives 1-2, and Skeletor. Skeletor uses dark magic to kill Hera but is struck with a bolt of lightning and killed. In an attack on God, Treebeard and the Ents attack fearlessly to defend their world. All of the Ents and Entwives were struck down with lightning in battle before treebeard picks up the god and crushes him, killing him.

Black Adam and Goku meet up, with Zombie Superman and Dr. Fate on their way. Zombie Superman is cut off by the group of Balrogs. Drawing power from Mordor they attack hard and chip away at the Zombified Hero, but with his laser vision, he is able to slice Balrogs 4-5 to bits. With one final attack, Zombie Superman is burned to ashes. Treebeard, Saint Walker, Balrogs 1-3, Robo Barkley, Khal Drogo, Krayt Dragons 3-5, Nightcrawler, and Neo-Cymeks 1-10 go to attack Black Adam and Goku before Dr. Fate can arrive. Barkley wins the fight but they lose Saint Walker, Khal Drogo, Robo Barkley, Krayt Dragons 3-5, and Neo-Cymeks 1-10. Treebeard, Balrogs 1-3, Nightcrawler, tired from a fierce day of battle, are left to fight the relatively fresh Dr. Fate. Dr. Fate quickly dispatches Nightcrawler, but Dr. Fate comes under the heavy attacks of the Balrogs. Much stronger than he anticipated, the balrogs put Dr. Fate on the defensive. Treebeard begins to swing on the mystical being as well. Dr. Fate manages to destroy Treebeard, but one of the Balrogs wips Dr. Fates helmet off his head, rendering him severely weakened and he is quickly killed by the three Balrogs.

Balrogs 1-3 of Barkley's Turrible Decisions remain the only survivors, retreating into the depths to restore energy.

Consortium Week 4 Ashoka's Acrobatic Assassins vs John and Vaders House of Sith Aids

Ashoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Sauron, Witch King of Angmar on his fell beast, Frodo Baggins, Aragorn, Galadriel, Elf #6-20, Orc #1-50, Uruk Hai #1-15, Hadir, Dunadan Kyle Houslander on a mordor horse, Sturm on Mordor Horse #2, Tanis the Half Elvin King on mordor horse #3, Riverwind on mordor horse #4, Bolin, El Diablo, Freddy Krueger, 12 guardian knights, and Zombie #8-10.

Sith Aids are Voltron #1-5, Thunderstrike, Darth Sion, Cad Bane, IG-88, Dengar, Savage Opress, Feral, The Rancor, Oberyn Martell, Amon, The Ninth Sister, Maxima, Jon Snow, Firelord Ozai, Velociraptor #1-10, Mark Dantonio, Tom Izzo in a goomba sock, The Anti-Moniter, Rayden, Captain Rex, Death Troopers #1-6 (all last life).

FFL Week 4: Affirmative Action Popeyes VS. Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People

Affirmative Action Popeyes: The Mountain, The Hound, Bran Stark, Jamie Lanister, Sir Bronn of the Black Water, The Night King and 5 White Walkers with a Dragon Lance (I assume these are like the general looking dudes that ride horses), Viserion, Balerion the Dread, Tywin Lannister, The X-Men (Cyclops, Jean Grey, Archangel, Beast, and Iceman), Dark Phoenix, Metroplex, Avatar Aang, Red Dragon 1-4, Twincast, Fast-forward, and Autobot Cassettes 1-3

Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People: Nazgul #9 on Fell Beast, Yoda (w/ a White Lantern Ring & 5th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), The Mandalorian w/ Quill & The Child (Baby Yoda) in Mando's ship, Zombie Omega Supreme, Sunfire, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman in his Overpriced Mazda RX-8, (Symbiote Suit) Spider-Man, Gurney Halleck on Mordor Horse #9, The Combaticons:  Onslaught, Brawl, Blast Off, Swindle, and Vortex (combine to form Bruticus), Mighty Mouse, Bat-Mite (w/ The 6th ring of the Dwarf Lords), The Stunticons: Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Dead End, & Drag Strip (merge to form Menasor), Rachel Summers (Phoenix), Mimic, Shadowcat & Lockheed, Tyrion Lannister (w/ The first Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Link, Green Lantern #2A (last death), Vampire Green Lantern.

I don’t feel like writing the backstory for this match so let's just get right to it. Super Saiyan Conner Weidman comes riding into Mordor in his overpriced Mazda RX-8 blaring “Christ Conscious” by Joey Badass through his speakers but as he switches to 4th gear he lets go of his clutch too quick and yet another Mazda RX-8 clutch goes down. As he gets out of the car to pop the hood, Twincast blasts his Mazda. Thus causing Conner to enrage into Super Saiyan mode, he runs to Twincast and uses his Discount Tire experience to wrench off all the bolts off of one of Twincasts legs. Twincast, now immobilized, is destroyed by The Combaticons merged together as Bruticus, but before Twincast was blasted he shot a blast towards Conner and killed him.  

Fast-Forward and the 3 Autobot Cassettes go to get revenge on The Combaticons but stand no chance against the force that is Bruticus, they are easily destroyed but, after they were destroyed their bodies fall on Bat-Mite, Gurney Halleck, Mighty Mouse, killing them.

Dark Phoenix then uses her telepathic powers and takes large boulders from the side of Aman Amarth and throws them at Bruticus taking out the legs (Swindle and Brawl). Bruticus then begins to unassemble but as they are doing that, Avatar Aang, master of the four elements, uses lava from Orodruin and throws it on the rest of The Combaticons, thus melting them to death. 

Metroplex then tries to attack The Stunticons but, he stands no chance as The Stunticons are assembled into Menasor mode and easily defeats Metroplex.

Avatar Aang and Dark Phoenix work together using resources from Mount Doom to create a vortex combo of lava and earth to blow The Stunticons (assembled into Menasor form) into a million pieces. Sunfire and The Mandalorian in his ship distract Avatar Aang.While Mimic and Rachel Summers (phoenix) use their telekinetic powers to defeat Dark Phoenix by taking rock from Mount Doom to cuff Dark Phoenix to the side of Mount Doom while Symbiote Spiderman takes a large sharp triangular piece of Fast-Forward and throws it at Dark Phoenix and impales her, thus killing her.

The X-Men then try to avenge Dark Phoenix by attacking Rachel Summers and Mimic. This is a very close battle as Mimic has learned all of the X-Men’s abilities and Rachel Summers is a very powerful Phoenix, but eventually the X-Men just tires out Summers and Mimic and kills them. The only surviving X-Men is Jean Gray.

Yoda, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, and Link work together to fight some of the best swordsmen from the Game of Thrones universe. But the swordsman stand no chance as Yoda and Asajj lightsabers cut through their swords with ease, thus killing Sir Bronn of the Blackwater, The Mountain, Bran Stark and Tywin Lannister. The Mountain does kill the Nightsister Acolyte and Link. But before this encounter Bran Stark used his Three-Eyed Raven abilities to see into the future and inform The Hound of this encounter. He uses this information to stab Asajj Ventress in the back with a sword while also calling her a f****** c****. After he does this he is then blown up by Yoda’s white lantern ring.

Tyrion Lannister uses his Dwarf Ring to increase his intellect and informs Symbiote Spiderman that the only way to defeat the night King by throwing him into the fires of Mount Doom, so Spiderman proceeds to wrap the Night King using his symbiote powers and swings up to the top of Mount Doom and cast him directly into the fire. The death of the Night King thus causes the White Walkers to shatter. 

Avatar Aang after seeing most of his teammates defeated goes into the Avatar State and throws Sunfire down into the Earth’s core. He then uses his enhanced Avatar powers to shoot down The Mando’s ship with a blast of lava. The ship crashes into a makeshift tent where Tyrion Lannister, Shadowcat and Lockheed are stationed.They are all killed by the crash and so is Quill, while The Mando is injured. Zombie Omega Supreme is hungry for brains so he shoots Aang in his scar in his back to kill him and thus feeds on his brains.

Zombie Omega Supreme is still hungry after eating Aang’s brain so he then shoots down the 4 Red Dragons and begins to feast on them. Viserion and Balerion the Dread are angry after seeing their fellow dragons killed, they attack Omega Supreme and melt him with continuous fire coming from their mouths.

Yoda, Nazgul #9 on Fell Beast, Green Lantern #2 and Vampire Green Lantern begin to attack Viserion, Balerion the Dread and Jean Gray.Viserion blasts a column of fire towards the Fell Beast and kills the Nazgul. Yoda returns with a blast of White Lantern energy into one of Viserion wings which causes the dragon to nose dive into the pits of Mount Doom. Balerion the Dread then tries to avenge his friend and shoots a blast of fire at Yoda. Yoda uses his ring to redirect the fire but this redirects into the Vampire Green Lantern and kills him. Green Lantern being on his last life decides to use the ring to blow himself up, this kills Balerion but luckily Jean Gray had used rock from Orodruin to protect herself from the blast.

Jean Gray then uses her telekinetic powers to continuously throw rock and Lava from Mount Doom towards Yoda. Yoda is using his White Lantern Ring but is becoming tired exponentially, just as he is about to fall to the vortex of rock and lava being thrown at him. A loud bang is heard and the vortex of rock and lava stopped. Yoda looks up, confused as he hears “The Mandalorian” by Ludwig Goransson playing in the background, all he sees is Jean Gray’s body on the ground and The Mando with Baby Yoda standing in the background. Apparently during this great battle after The Mando’s ship was shot down, Baby Yoda healed The Mando and after the healing Mando saw Yoda struggling to withstand and so Mando used his Amban Sniper Rifle to shoot Jean Gray in the back.  

Democracy Week 4 TEAM vs House Elves

TEAM is Vulcan, the Constructicons: Bonecruher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, and Scavenger (Merge to from Devastator), Duke Leto Atreides, Iron Hide, Captain N. with Duke, Kid Icarus, Simon Bellmont, Mega Man, Rush,, Princess Of Video Games, and Game Boy, Death Adder, Death Adder Jr., Death Bringer, Warpath, Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliff Jumper, Octane, Sunstorm, Reflector (middle, left right), Chris Artrip w/ tanooki suit, Julie w/ Fire Flower, Ella w/ frog suit, Jack w/ frog suit, Ben w/ goomba sock, Mighty Morphin Artrip Rangers: Chris, Julie, Ella, Jack, Ben (with weapons and zords), Meta-Night, and Ewok #7

George Washington's House Elves are Gandaulf the Grey, Thor, Set (5 heads), The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Crystal, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, and the Unspoken, Colosus, Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Ben Kenobi, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Orion, Wild Men #1-10, Nazgul #3 on his Mordor Horse, Marshall, and Dothraiki#1 on Dothraki horse #1.

Vote Away

Striders of Rohan vs The Empire

The Striders of Rohan are Ancalagon the Black, Gothmog the Balrog, Balrog of Moria, Nazgul #2 on his Fell Beast, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Theoden King, Eomer, Eowyn, Rider Of Rohan #1-8 (7 on final death), Gandaulf the White, Blue Wizard #1, Blue Wizard #2, Radagast the Brown, Samwise Gamgee w/ blue lantern ring, Elrond, Arwen Evenstar w/ blue lantern ring, Isildor, Thorin Oakenshield, and Goblin #14-17.

The Empire are Leonardo w/ green lantern and blue lantern rings, Michelangelo w/ orange lantern ring, Donatello w/ indigo lantern ring, Raphael w/ red lantern ring, Hamato Yoshi w/ star sapphire ring, Casey Jones w/ yellow lantern ring, Ares, Ares (DC comics), Sarumon, Keno, Apollo, The Eradicator, Red Skull, Black lantern Kyle Raynor Surtur, Mephisto, Sardakaur Terro Troop #10-34, Watchdog #1-5, Korg and Meek.

The battle starts with the the good and the bad of the striders fighting each other for mordor but then they see the Empire approaching and realize they have to work together to protect it. The Balrog of Moria sees the charging Empire team and the hungry balrog that hasn't eaten all day stomps on meek and then eats Red Skull and Korg alive before Surtur slices the Balrog in half with his sword. Then even though Gandaulf and the Balrog of Moria had a bad past Gandualf avenges the balrog by using a spell to take every bit of fire out of Surtur and throwing it at all at the 5 watch dogs.

As legolas hides behind a rock he takes down 24 of the terror troops leaving none of the Dune troops alive. But an angry Raphael spots him and cuts off his head with his sai's.

The Eradicator comes blazing in from the sky and kills all the riders of rohan then he flies into Ancalagon the Black and uses his heat vision to blow him up from the inside. The Striders know this onslaught has to stop so Arwen Evenstar and Gandaulf hold the Eradicator still with there magic so that Gothmog the Balrog can rip him in half but not before he sets Arwen Evenstar on fire with his heat vision.

The 2 blue wizards and Radaghast the brown team up on Mephisto and call upon a freezing power to overcome his fire and then smash him into pieces. Keno then tries to sneak up behind Radaghast but he sees the Nazgul and his so frightened he runs back home. Apollo avenges his teammates by using his bow and arrow skills to shoot blue wizard #1 and his power to inflict disease by giving blue wizard #2 the corona virus. Then Radaghast and Gandalf pick him up with there magic and throw him into the volcano.

Elrond, Gimli, Boromir, and the goblins manage to take out the Ninja Turtles but the turtles killed everybody but Elrond, courtesy of their newly acquired lantern rings. Casey Jones attempts to kill Elrond but instead he gets a sword to the heart but it was merely a distraction as Black Lantern Kyle Raynor and Hamato Yoshi use their lantern energy to kill Elrond. Isildor then uses his long sword to cut off his head and then Thorin Oakenshield joins Isildur to cut off the limbs of kyle Raynor but Thorin gets blasted into oblivian in the proccess.

Eowyn and Eomer then distract Saruman so Gandalf can use his magic to push Sauruman 100 feet into the ground.

Ares and Ares are the Empires only hope but they are no match for the Balrog, Theoden king, and the two wizards as Ares and Ares take out Gothmog while Gandalf and Theoden King come up form behind and kill him. And finnally Samwise Gamgee giving the team hope and cheering them on comes out of hiding with the Nazgul to kill Ares.

S11 W3 - Be Gentle It’s My First Time vs The Genderless Shorties

Be Gentle It’s My First Time is: Zilla, Megalon, Chuck Norris penguin Suit, Mako (w/ yellow Lantern ring) with tiger sharks, Steppen Wolfe, Namorita, Black lantern Super Boy, Spinosaurus (4 deaths), Goober Fish #1-5, Carnage, Zombie Superman, Granny Goodness, Vincent Vega.

The Genderless Shorties are: Gamera, Nightsister Spirit, Nightsister Zombie, Joan Jett (in a Frog Suit), Don Rickles (in a Penguin Suit), The Lochness Monster, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Seaspray, Mimic, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Hermes, The rest on an Aircraft Carrier: Vorian Attiedes (in command), (original) Duncan Idaho, Kobe Bryant, Allia Atreides, Lobot, Nazgul #9 on his Mordor Horse, Gurney Halleck, Salacious B. Crumb (with 7th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Gumby and his Pony Pal Pokey, Kuiil, Jimmy Olsen (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Lois Lane (w/ a cape feather), Ewok #4.

The water thrashed when Joan Jett and Don Rickles in their suits tried desperately to get away from Chuck Norris who easily catches and drowns the duo. Chuck then hopped on the back of Mako who, along with the other Tiger Sharks, started chasing after Seaspray who was transformed into boat mode. Seaspray was transporting NS Zombie, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Hermes, Mimic and the Toads to the aircraft carrier to rejoin their team. Hermes threw his staff at Chuck but it just deflected off his rock hard hairy bare chest and killed Gupp the tigershark instead. Seaspray then hit a bump (which turned out to just be Vincent Vega doing the frog backstroke eating a royale with cheese). The impact caused Hecate to be tossed from the ship where she was eaten by Dolph. The blood from Vega then splashed in the eyes of Yellow Toad and Blue Toad and they both instantly died from Covid-19.

Nightsister spirit possesses the body of Granny Goodness who has just taken out Duncan Idaho and Gurney Man with the help of Steppen Wolfe. As the spirit takes her over, she turns on Steppen Wolfe and kills him and sets her sights on the rest of her own team. Carnage sees this and tears the old woman in half and throws her corpse over the edge of the ship.

Kuiil is trying to repair a helicopter on the opposite end of the deck when he crosses up some wires wrong and the engine explodes causing the tail rudder to impale the chest of Kobe Bryant and the explosion killing the ugnaught. I have spoken.

Chuck and his Tigersharks have Seaspray surrounded along with Goober Fish #1-5 and Spinosaurus. The sharks charge first and Chuck leaps onto the deck of the ship and starts a fight with Hermes as the sharks rock the boat from underneath. All are thrown into the sea when Seaspray transforms into a “person” and starts hurling goober fish and sharks at the hull of the Aircraft Carrier. Spinosaurus gets a hold of Chuck’s leg and rips it off. The fighting is intense when suddenly they are all frozen by zombie Superman. Superboy follows up and with a powerful punch shatters everyone into pieces. Did everyone here deserve better deaths, probably. But since I don’t know how calendars work, you get what you get.

Oh yeah, Bee-Tee-Dubs, while all this was going on, a Japanese film crew was shooting a movie in the background. It's a giant fight between Zilla (which is godzilla but from the Ferris Bueller Remake) and Megalon VS. The Lochness Monster and Gamera. It looks like a sweet fight. One of those monsters was beating another one using Nessie as a club. I can’t tell from here. I’ve been watching the developments on the boat.

Vorian and Lobot are on the bridge trying to keep the boat steady. As if the large reptilian fight wasn’t enough, Namorita has created a whirlpool in the sea that is causing the ship to spin. Nazgul #9 is able to somehow cut the head off Carnage after he loses his balance and trips over ewok #4.

At the same moment the hull of the ship is torn open with the dead body of Megalon and the ship begins to consume water at an alarming pace. Everyone is sliding across the deck of the ship. Before Black Lantern Superboy can take flight, Alia Atreides was already on his back driving the gob jabbar in his neck. Why, you ask? Because she already knew this was going to happen. Prescient Vision, yo.

Jimmy Olsen was able to grab Lois Lane and, using his tanooki suit, flew her to the bow of the ship that was now quickly rising in the sea. They laid on the edge of the ship as it stood straight up for a moment before beginning to sink. The two held hands. “Don’t let go, Lois!” Jimmy yelled as they watched all the rest of their teammates fall into the sea below and get finished off by the waves or by Zombie Supes buzzing back and forth.

An exhausted Zilla, sole survivor of the monster fight, arrives at the ship and devours the pair before they can be swallowed by the ocean.

Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Earth 2 Superman, The Sando Aqua Monster, Beechead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Guns N' Roses: Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagen (in a Penguin Suit), Steven Adler, & Dizzy Reed in a German U-Boat. Jaws (4), Death, Nolan & Austin: Sith Bros in Arwings, Macho Man (w/ a Power Ring), Mogo, Twincast w/ Fast Forward, & Autobot Cassette #1-3, & Mary Embery.

George Washington's House Elves are Gandalf the Grey, Set, Godzilla, Iron Man, Luke Skywalker, Seaworm #1A-2A, Black Lantern Seaworm, Vampire Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm, The Monkguin, Qui Gonn Jinn (in a Frog Suit), M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, Zangief, Lucca Brazzi, Seaworm #10, Zuma in a Hovercraft, Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Mako, Prince Harry in a F-16, Princess Meggan, Archie, & John Schlade.

Both teams are dropped into The Indian Ocean and like many water battles it is instantly a question of those who thrive and those who do not. The GI Joes led by Lt. Flint inside the German U-Boat attempt to direct the Popeye's Crew, while they are thoroughly entertained by Guns N' Roses who is mainly playing songs from Appetite for Construction, since Dizzy is off the keys and taking over on Bass Guitar, so Duff can be out in the thick of the fight in his Penguin Suit.

Prince Harry in his F-16 becomes locked in what would have been an incredible dog fight with the Sith Bros. and their Arwings; but none of those vehicles work in the water; so they all just drowned instead. Princess Meghan drowned as well, but not from the salt water of the Indian Ocean; but rather from her own salty tears due to the terrible life that she is forced to lead as a member of British Royalty. Much like Harry and Meghan, I wasn't paying any attention to Archie; so I failed to notice how he died.

Macho Man is easily winning the bodybuilding contest he is having with Sagat, Zangief, Balrog, M. Bison, and Vega as the former member of the Mega Powers uses his Power Ring to Boost his own stats well passed the steroid riddles version of himself in that Spider-Man movie from the last century. None of this keeps them all from inevitably drowning of course.

Lucca Brazzi as destiny would have it sleeps with the fishes.

Jeffrey Epstein, a man who loves his deviant life refuses to let himself drown. So he and his buddy Prince Andrew both give up on their human disguises and take on their full Reptilian form (see David Icke); so they can navigate the water more properly. Mary Embery is drawn to this ancient power; but despite the esoteric Illuminati knowledge they all possess, they join each other in death as Mary Embery comes closer to them causing her to lose her powers and drown in an ancient ritual that even they do not understand.

E2 Superman would have had a very tough time with the team-up of Gandalf the Grey and Luke Skywalker, if the Wizard and the Jedi Knight weren't so busy treading water. Gandalf manages to get off a quick spell to weaken Supes a bit before Kal L hits Gandalf and Luke with some freeze breathe that turns them into blocks of ice sending them both sinking below the surface. Wait..... Ice floats doesn't it. Maybe they just froze to death. Err, maybe the water penetrated the frozen blocks. I don't know how this crap works, I ain't gonna do the math either. Science isn't my scene. Either way, they died. The weakened Superman, would have normally still be tough enough to take out Tony Stark; but with Iron Man's adapted water function on his suit, the skirmish is tilted the other direction. Iron Man forces the battle to be fought as deep into the Ocean as he can lead Superman. The fight rages on with an unprecedented amount of power being fought through by both combatants. As only you super-duper nerds out there already know, the Golden Age or Earth 2 version of Superman can hold his breath for an incredibly long period of time; but he does indeed need to hold it while in Space or under water. His breath is finally knocked from him after a few dozen building destroying punches are delivered by Iron Man. After winning the fight against Superman, the proud Tony Stark attempts to move towards the surface and rejoin the fight; but finds that his suit was far too damaged by the Last Son of Krypton. He floats back down to the bottom and joins his worthy opponent in their watery grave.

And now for the actual water battle to begin:

The Popeye squad with the Submarine peeps calling the shots have set up behind their champion The Sando Aqua Monster and the insanely powerful Mogo who is a bit out of his element under the water; but still very well protected by his green lantern aura. Twincast and his Cassettes are dwarfed by their monstrous teammates, but remain prepped for battle as well.

On the other side the House Elves begin to form up as well as they begin what both squads realize will be one final push towards victory or defeat.

John Schlade was given a Jedi Mouthpiece (ya know the thing from Phantom Menace) by Qui Gon so he can stay alive, since Qui Gon doesn't need it, due to his fancy Frog Suit (I guess Chris felt like permanently turning this extremely powerful Jedi Master into a permanent water character Kyle Houslander style (see Hancock)). John Schlade is so taken aback by the monstrous size of The Sando Aqua Monster that he almost, for a split second, considers, taking the Lord's name in vain. Luckily he thinks better of himself. His fears are quelled though as his homeboy Qui Gonn assures him that “there is always a bigger fish” as their teammate Godzilla appears from the depths of the Sea and becomes locked in a pitched battle with The Sando Aqua Monster.

Zuma heads in on the double and attacks The U-Boat with her Hovercraft; but the antiquated weaponry of the U-Boat are still more than enough to take down the Pup. The U-Boat then targets Seaworm #2A with all of its firepower and is able to take out the beast; but the body of the genetically engineered sea monster falls upon the boat and pins it against an outcropping of rock. The combatants inside are still alive and well until the sneaky little Monkguin finds an exterior release valve on the pinned vessel and opens it up. The curious little Monkgwee doesn't get out of the way in time and dies himself in the rush of current that eventually floods the U-Boat and kills all inside.

Death, although out of her element remains extremely powerful and is able to single-handedly kill Seaworm #1A. She has more difficulty though as she attempts to bring death upon those who have already experienced the pain of the nether realm. Once she finds Black lantern Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm, and Vampire Seaworm drawn to her aura she cannot contain what their attack brings and is destroyed.

Mogo begins to unleash his green lantern energy on Set; but is shocked to realize that the seven headed serpent only grows larger as the energy is absorbed. Set begins to consume Mogo; but even with the power of Atlantis itself fueling the giant serpent it cannot quite handle all of Mogo's extreme power. Mogo is completely absorbed by Set; but two of the monster's enormous heads explode leaving it a five headed creature complete with the power of Mogo.

Qui Gon and Duff have one Hell of a water fistfight. If Jinn's lightsaber could work under water, than this contest would be over quick, but since it cannot, Duff's kickboxing skills are able to keep up with Qui Gon's Jedi moves. As the fight goes on, I sat in front of the computer for about three minutes thinking of how the fight should go and nothing popped into my head; so Seaworm #10 swam by and ate them both instead. The Seaworm is not able to enjoy his meal for long though, as Jaws comes by and makes a meal out it, sending the 10th Seaworm to the Graveyard. Much like what happened with Death, the three undead Seaworms converge on Jaws and attack. They are able to win with a triple team, but the zombie goes down to the might of the fourth Jaws.

Mako takes out all three Autobot Cassettes before being crushed by their boss Twincast, John Schlade is defeated in one on one combat against Fast Forward (everyone should look up the Autobot Cassette Fast Forward, so you can understand his true power). Fast Forward attempts to regroup with his master Twin Cast; but Set swallows Fast Forward whole and crushes Twin Cast under his enormous body.

This flaming turd of a match would have been much more interesting if instead of following the minutia, we simply watched the incredible fight between The Sando Aqua Monster and Godzilla that has been raging on since the start of this match. As it comes to a close, we see a battered Godzilla fight through the punches, kicks, and bites of The Sando, pin him to the Ocean floor and blast him with water-proof Lightning breath.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Empire

Two Hungry Dino-Mites With Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Aquaman, Red Lantern Mira, Kit Fisto, Nadar Veb, Captain Tarpals (w/ Super Scope 6), Jar Jar Binks, Ice (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Queen Tesla, Superboy Prime, Ewok Scout (in a Frog Suit), The Technibots: Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, & Nosecone, A Submarine containing: Cassian Andor, K2S0, Flute Cop, Uni-Baby, Grey Diamond, Best Fairy Ever, BatWartHog Man, The Ghostbusters: Rey Stanz, Peter Venkman, Egon Spengler, & Winston Zeddimore, Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, & Tre Cool, & Rebel Soldier #10.

The Empire is: Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, White Lantern Swamp Thing, Jolee Fishdo, Sky Lynx, Black Lantern Superman, Voltron (of The Mid Universe), Korg, Meek, Jaws (2), Jaws (3), Jason Voorhies, Vampire #1-10, Thinking Machine #1-8, & 12 Sardakaur Terror Troops.

Kyle Raynor, in possession and control of the Full Spectrum of light and power creates an aura protecting the entirety of his team. Swamp Thing directs the White Lantern power as well as his own natural powers to create a natural seaweed/plant protection area around the aura itself as a first line of defense.

Aquaman and Mira lead their squad in cautiously and surround the aura. The Technibots, Quintessa, and the Submarine begin to bombard the aura with projectiles, in an attempt to weaken it. Swamp Thing begins controlling the algae outside the aura to attack the Dino-Mites, while Raynor sends out Black Lantern Superman and the two Jaws sharks as the first wave. Sky Lynx and Voltron follow, with the Vampires and Thinking Machines swimming out after them.

Aquaman regrettably makes the two Great White Sharks attack each other resulting in a double death, while Quintessa and Voltron lock into a pitched battle alongside Superboy Prime and Black Lantern Superman doing the same. The Technibots merge to form Computron and are met by their old ally Sky Lynx.

Cassian's submarine takes aim at the core of Voltron, with a shot that can clearly take out the giant Gestalt; but Jar Jar Binks is swimming directly in the line of fire. Captain Tarpals begins to wave furiously at his bombad General; but Jar Jar just stupidly looks his way and gestures: “mEeSa”.... The Sub holds their fire; and in the meantime is bombarded by the lasgun blasts of the Thinking Machines. The sub begins to take on water when Grey Diamond says out loud: “I sure wish we could of got that aura destroyed before our sub went down”. Uni-Baby hears this and coincidence or not, a shot from the Super Scope Six of Captain Tarpals hits the aura and brings the energy field down. The Powers of the lantern rings go fully uncontrolled by the struggling Raynor who begins to drown without the rings to protect him along with his teammates Korg, Meek, Jason, and the Sardakaur. The Ghostbusters, using their proton packs manage to destroy the Thinking Machines attacking the Submarine before the sub inevitably floods with water and kills all on board. The Vampires surround the befuddled Jar Jar and rip him apart; but are then taken out one by one by Kit Fisto and Nadar Vebb with their underwater-functional lightsabers. They move on Jolee Fishdo next who has a similar lightsaber; but is unable to defeat the two Jedi once he is double-teamed.

Voltron, being spared from the submarine's weaponry delivers the killing blow against Quintessa, extinguishing her spark, while Mira directs the full power of her red lantern ring at Black Lantern Supes. This normally would not have been enough to destroy the powerful foe, but as the water was permeated with the power of the other lantern rings from that of Kyle Raynor they combined the power and destroyed him. This allows Superboy Prime to divert his attention to Voltron, he is aided by Fisto and Vebb in the attack. Sky Lynx attacks the core of Computron breaking the Gestalt apart but doing great damage to both its bird and beast sections as well. The five Technibots regroup as a team of five and are able to take out both parts of Sky Lynx but only Lightspeed and Afterburner survive the final battle.

Captain Tarpals, Afterburner, Lightspeed, Ice, and Ewok Scout all join the attack on Voltron, while White Lantern Swamp Thing decides that he must finally take control of this contest and unleash the full power at his disposal. Swamp Thing does so; but although his power is intense in this setting, it is nothing compared to the full power of the ocean that is unleashed upon him by Aquaman and Mira. The husband and wife sea-master Duo work together to take down Swamp Thing, who in his last breath looks over to see his final teammate Voltron being destroyed by the plethora of tiny minions surrounding him.

Week 3 Consortium:

TEAM: The Houslander Lantern Spectrum Team: White Lantern Josh, Star Sapphire & Yellow Lantern Laya, Green & Blue Lantern Alex, Indigo & Red Lantern Scarlet, Orange Lantern Grayson, & Black Lantern Zoe, Jedi Knight Laya, Young Jedi Knight Alex, Jedi Padawan Scarlet, & Jedi Youngling Grayson, Superboy, Cyborg Superman, Sharkticon #1-10, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tor, Leader One, Emerald Weapon, Warpath, Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliff Jumper, & Nightbird.

Super Kitties: Ocean Master, Hades, Squirtle, Aqualad, Athena, Phibian #1-20, Ttanus, Blastois, Piplup, Aphrodite, & Tomar Tu, (The rest) In a Submarine: Captain Pike (in command), Clark Griffin, Bellamy Blake, John Murphy, Octavia Blake, Raven Reyes, Lexa, Indra, Modi, & Marty Green, Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Killer Frost, Joe West, Vibe, & Iris West, Magnus Bane, Finich O' Dare (w/ a Trident), Sub-Zero, & Space Trooper #1-3.

Week 3: Striders V Sith Aids

Striders of Rohan: Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Rainbow Six Vanilla Operators, T-2, T-3, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnackh, Grima Wormtongue, Elon Musk, Robert Downey Jr., Juwan Howard, John Quincey Adams, Agent 47, Alan Trammel, Barry Sanders, Fedayeen #1-3, Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4

Sith Aids: The Fallen (4 Deaths), Jet Jaguar, Sharkticon #1-10 #1-2 8-10 have 4 deaths #3-7 have 3 deaths, The Dinobots (Grimlock, Slag, Snarl, Sludge, Swoop), Predacons (Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, Tantrum), The Pretender Monsters (Birdbrain, Bristleback, Icepick, Scowl, Slog, Wildfly), Voltron (Voltron #1-5), Insecticons (Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage), Thunderstrike, Watto

Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan (Being the only capable fighters) Watch as the Rainbow Six Vanilla Operators, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnack, Grima Wormtongue, Elon Musk, Robert Downey Jr., Juwan Howard, John Quincey Adams, Agent 47, Alan Trammel, Barry Sanders, Fedayeen #1-3 and Duncan Idaho Ghola #4 all begin to tread water. Over the horizon the treaders see a small winged creature approaching, Hailing as a messager, the Striders see what he has to say. The Toydarian known as Watto begins to speak “So, you wanna surrender-uh, save us alotta time,” Hal Jordan asks “Maybe we can work something else out” But Watto exclaims “Your credits are no good here.” The Striders refusing to give up, decide to kill the messenger to hopefully buy some time. Watto attempting to escape finds himself surrounded by Kylo Ren and Hancock, who deliver the biggest beat down this side of Flight 370. Watto utters his final remarks “No Republic Credits” before falling limp.

Shortly after the death of Watto, the Sharkticons coming from below begin to eat the treaders whole. Attempting to protect themselves they begin to thrash and land good hits on Sharkticons 3-7, but the other Sharkicons refuse to die today and continue to feast. Kylo, Hancock, Vampire Neo, and Hal all want to help, but the water is mixing with the blood of their allies to quickly and they lose sight of their friends. Suddenly Barry Sanders erupts from the crimson water with the head of Sharkticon #1, But Sharkticon #2 follows swallowing the star running back whole. With everyone else dead, the 4 Survivors contact T-2 and T-3, who were given the task of scouting the ocean floor. “Large Masses Detected” “Metallic Beings Detected”. Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan now know that there is a much larger threat looming below and move to strike. The remaining Sharkticons cant stand up to the power of the remaining Striders and are destroyed. Sith Aids are prepared though and Scowl begins to screech rendering the Striders disoriented. The Pretender Monsters with  Thunderstrike decide to fight Hancock, while the Predacons with Jet Jaguar will try to defeat Neo, The Dinobots with Voltron will battle Kylo, and the Insecticons and The Fallen will fight Hal Jordan.

With the Striders heavily outnumbered, Sith Aids is seeing victory on the horizons. Hancock is able to destroy Wildfly and Scowl, as they both were annoying him, before receiving a direct hit from Thunderstrike and his Mace. Neo is able to dodge well from the Jet Jaguar, but before he knows it he is backed right into the Predacons who destroy the vampire. Kylo, using the power of the ring, is able to stall for long enough that T-2 and T-3 are able to climb the legs of Voltron, before initiating self destruct knocking out Voltron. Kylo does his best slashing the Dinobots and Slag and Snarl are cut into bits before the rest of the bots get their hands on him. Using the force he is able to crush Swoop, but now with an opening, Grimlock delivers a killing blow. Hal Jordan and The Fallen are in a 1v1 Melee Rumble, with the first Decepticon delivering massive blows, and the lone Lantern conjuring a defense for every attack. Hal begins to use the Insecticons to block his attacks. Picking up Ransack and Venom with the power of the ring, they are smashed by their teammate who will win at any cost. But now Barrage and Chop Shop are not going to let them fight solo. And before he knows it he finds his back under attack from the two bots. With the three bots crashing down on Hal, he has no choice but to use the full power of the ring. With the last of his energy, he attempts an all-out attack on his opponents. Damaging the Fallen heavily, he looks to make the final blow, but just as he begins Chop Shop take the hits, allowing the Fallen to deliver a killing blow. 

Democracy Week 3: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Ashoka's Arobatic Assassins are Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian, Poseidan, Jaws, Avatar Korra, Katara, Desna and Eska, Daughter of Mortis with Penguin Suit, Beast Boy, Franklin Richards, Jason Bourne with Indigo Lantern Ring, White Lantern Zachary Houslander (4 deaths), Salak (4 deaths), Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Ajax w/ Green Lantern Ring, and Zombie #8-15.

Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions are The Seacons: Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Black Manta, Killer Kroc, Starscream's Ghost, White Lantern Deadman, Mega Man X, White Lantern Kyle Raynor, Hal Jordan, Star Saphirre, Saint Walker, Yellow Lanterns #1-3, Alan Scott, Guy Gadner, Terminator #1-3, Green Lantern Sinestro.

S11 W2: Popeyes vs Kitties

Affermative Action Popeye's are: Cyclonus and his Armada, Power Man and Iron Fist , Jessica Jones , Earth 2 Superman , Guns N' Roses (Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen in a Penguin Suit, Steven Adler, and Drizzy Reed) in a Vimana, Sith Bros Nolan and Austin each in a F-18.

 

Super Kitties are:  Abeloth (4 deaths), Supergirl, Fred and George Weasaly (on a Harley Davidson), Mystery Inc.:  Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in The Mystery Machine, Dry Bones in his Kart, Michael Myers

I was lame this week and had to reach out to the other watchers to decide this one via consortium. My apologies.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Captain America on his Motorcycle, Ant Man, Wasp, Bullseye, Dakken, Falcon w/ Red Wing, Android Human Torch w/ Toro, Daredevil, The Winter Soldier & Jar Jar Binks in a Lamborghini Countach, & Rebel Soldier #1-5 in a 1996 Ford Mustang Cobra.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Zombie Cyborg Superman, Red Son Superman, Jet Jaguar, Ultra Man, and Unsullied #1-5.


Captain America cannot believe what has happened to his city. New York is not technically under martial law; but they might as well be. Businesses are closed by government mandate and New Yorkers are scared to even leave their homes after the media and government have put them in a state of hysteria. Cap has briefed his group of Avengers, who although may not always have been on the same side are all totally on board as proud Avengers after seeing Cap not only lead by example but also after hearing his memorable and inspiring speech. He let his team know that they were about to face one of the most powerful squads he had ever seen. “They have two guys on that squad who could easily put Thanos in a body-bag on their own and two other guys who make Goliath look like a midget”.

Cap rides into battle ahead of his team on his custom Harley Davidson, and his Avengers charge into battle behind him.

Daredevil bravely takes on all five members of the Unsullied Army and is able to defeat them despite dying of his numerous stab wounds after taking out the last member.

Cap rides up to take on The Zombie Cyborg Superman; but Bullsey, Dakken, and Human Torch assure their leader that they can handle the opponent. Cap then orders his smallest teammates Ant Man, Wasp, and Toro to see what they can do against their biggest enemy Ultra Man, while Winter Soldier and the Rebel Soldiers crash their cars into the legs of Jet Jaguar knocking the huge robot to the ground. Ultra Man grabs a hold of Toro and crushes the fiery, robot sidekick in his hand, while vaporizing Ant Man and Wasp with his advanced laser, targeting system. As Jet Jaguar, reforms himself; Winter Soldier and the Rebel Soldiers join the fight against Ultra Man. The massive Japanese Robot sends an enormous sonic wave at the soldiers blasting them to bits. Winter Soldier lay on the ground near death, only his cybernetic enhancements keeping him alive momentarily. Bucky calls out to his old friend Jar Jar. “Binks, get over here”. He yells.

“Meesa”?? Binks asks.

In his dying breath The Winter Soldier opens up a compartment in his robot arm and hands a small cylinder to his Gungan friend. “Binks, you are our last hope, this micro-nuke can take those robots out. The. Avengers. Are. Counting. On. You.

Zombie Cyborg Supes grabs a hold of Human Torch without even feeling warmth and rips the android in two. He then turns his head to blast Bullseye with enough zombie heat vision to melt any steal beam here in New York; but before the heat vision hits, Bullseye kicks up the shrapnel from his former partner Human Torch, turning them into knives and ripping apart the cybernetics and zombie flesh of ZCS. With this diversion, Dakken sneaks up behind ZCS and separates his head from his buddy with his razor sharp claws.

Jar Jar leaps away from the scene and finds himself in the center of the two massive robots. Ultra Man speaks in his monotone, metallic voice: “Only one opponent remains. Threat Level: Extremely Low”.

Jar fumbles, with the explosive from Bucky and says: “Low... Low you says. Meesa No think so. MEESA. BOMBAD. AVENGER”.

With these final words, Jar Jar presses the detonator and ignites a Mushroom cloud that blows both Ultra Man and Jet Jaguar to smithereens.

R.S. Supes flies in fast to avenge his cyborg, zombie self and punches a hole through Dakken's adamantium face. Falcon and Red Wing swoop in to battle The Communist Superman; but RS Superman delivers yet another punch to the gut of Falcon and applies a quick heat vision zap to his bird Redwing.

“Americans, they die so easily” RS Superman proclaims to the world around him; but Cap shows up behind him and joins the conversation: “Let's see about that, Commie. There is one more American here”.

Cap continues as he tightens the strap around his shield and prepares for battle: “You're in my city pal, this is The United States of America, the land of the free. Your totalitarian ways aren't going to take over my country. This is one fight you're going to lose”.

Captain America throws his star spangled shield at the USSR raised Superman; but the shield bounces off of him. The now defenseless Cap is then coated in ice cold freeze breath. Before Red Son Superman shatters the Patriot like glass, Cap hears the Kryptonian say: “After this week your American dream is dead”.

TEAM Vs. The Empire

TEAM is The Hernandez Mandolorian Clan: Adam, Kate, Jackson, & Eric Gilson, The Constructicons: Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, & Scavenger, Vulcan, Duke Nukem, Blaster w/ Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Tom Cruise in a F-22, Robot Sonic, and Hammer Bros. #1-10.

The Empire is The Joker, Harley Quinn, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael w/ Bernie Sanders (in the Hammer Bros. & Sickle Suit) in The Party Wagon, Casey Jones and Alexandria Occassio-Cortez on a Ducatti, Krang, Shredder, Hamato Yoshi, Karai, & Keno.

Yo, Yo, Yo, it's your boy The Neon Master Pogo here. I'm watching this match from an I-Pad in my house, because like any sensible person I am self-quarantining myself from a virus that I have never seen, never met anyone infected, never met anyone who met anyone who is infected, and that probably wouldn't hurt me even if I got it. It's been a hectic week for all. New York City is in full freak out mode as people hide in their homes; not from the terrible battle that is about to take place in the streets; but from the dreaded virus that the media has used to scare people into thinking that we are all going to die, so before we do, let's make sure to give up all of our liberty to the government. Cybertron has been shut down and so have all flights back and forth from the planet. It doesn't make much sense, because Cybertronians can't be hurt by the virus, but then again neither can most people. With nowhere to go, all of the Transformers on TEAM have been staying at the Hernandez Clan's home. It gets pretty crowded having a bunch of giant robots around, so they are definitely looking forward to this “cRiSiS” to end. The Empire has already taken to the streets, where they can at least still get carry out pizza from a few places. Keno decided to do his civic duty and beat up some guys who dared to go to work and attempt to earn some money today. He looks over at the beat up construction workers and says: “Did I mention I study martial arts”??

Everyone laughs hysterically at this hilarious quip, except for The Constructicons, who get revenge for their hard-working brethren by merging to form Devastator and taking a molten, metallic power dump down Keno's throat.

A crashed F-22 lay on the ground in a wreckage with Tom Cruise's scorched body still inside. The plane never got off the ground, since Tom is just a movie star, who doesn't actually know how to fly a fighter jet. Plus, he was too short to see over the dash anyway.

Shredder single handedly takes out all ten of the Hammer Bros.; but his daughter Karai does not do as well against Robot Sonic who spin attacks her in half despite the resistance from her armor.

Casey Jones is spitting some serious game at AOC while they race around town on the Ducatti; but she is pretending not to like him because he is white. The Ninja Turtles, like many youthful, energetic peeps are having a very serious conversation with Bernie inside The Party Wagon. They are totally sold on Socialism, until six very large proletariat members in the form of Devastator smash the Party Wagon and send its five riders flying in different directions.

The Joker and Harley, the unofficial leaders of the squad, hide out in a back alley as they watch their teammates conduct their always crazy, but masterful plan of attack. They wait for the right moment to jump in; but are confronted by The Hernandez Mandolorians. Adam pulls his blaster rifle; but Joker spins out of the way and pulls out his acid, spraying flower. He takes aim at Jackson; but his Dad and Uncle Eric leap out in front taking the brunt of the Joker serum. As Adam and Eric lay on the ground with an eternally creepy Joker smile on their face, Kate pulls out her dual blaster pistols in a rage and does what Batman could never bring himself to do. She pumps The Joker full of blaster bolts, while Jackson uses his sword constructed from Garage Door parts to finish off Harley.

Bernie grabs his Hammer and Sickle, while the Ninja Turtle form up behind him, ninja weapons in hand. Casey Jones and AOC leap off their crotch rocket to join the fight, while Hamato Yoshi puts aside his differences with Shredder and Krang as well. They move on the much larger Blaster and surround him; but Blaster ejects his entire clan of tapes who instead surround The Empire. The Socialist Ninjas take down Blaster; but they can't handle all his Cassettes. Each Ninja manages to take out a Cassette, with Leo and Raph each taking out two and Shredder taking out the mini Gestalt Slam Dance; but superior numbers and superior firepower win out, despite a fantastic last stand from the martial arts experts.

Week 2: The Homo-Friendly Turds Who are Short vs Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The Homo-Friendly Turds Who are Short: Yoda (w/ a White Lantern Ring and 5th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Green Lantern #1A (final death), The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Dead End, & Dragstrip (merge to form Menasor), Black Lantern Batman (final death), Batgirl and The Huntress & Tyrion Lannister (w/ the 1st Ring of the Dwarf Lords) in Conner's Over-priced Mazda, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman (w/ a blue lantern ring), Talia, Zombie Green Lantern
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins: Reverse-Flash, Quicksilver, Brainiac in Brainiac's Skull Ship, Dr. Manhattan, R2D2 in Jedi Starfighter, Dark Nitties in Ducati, James Bond in Ducati,  Zombie #7-8
Yoda, Green Lantern #1A and Black Lanturn Batman enter the city, with Yoda sensing the presence of two fast-moving objects, Though they could not hear any engines. Suddenly Green Lantern #1A is caught between the two fists of Reverse Flash and Quicksilver, his head exploding from the double impact. Before he can bolt away Quicksilver finds several batarangs lodged into his chest, before falling dead.  Still Sensing another being Yoda warns Batman, he can sense a larger power approaching. Soon the Stunticons roll in. Yoda directs them to form into the Menasor as they see a large skull approaching.
-Nitties, Bond, and R2D2 are in pursuit of Conner’s Over-priced Mazda. Unfortunately for Batgirl, The Huntress, and Tyrion the Mazda has no Air Conditioning so the windows have to be rolled down, rendering them deaf. They cannot call for back up and soon Nitties and Bond are right along their sides. Tyrion launches a crossbow bolt directly into the eyes of Nitties, sending his body and his bike into a post, causing a massive explosion, leaving absolutely nothing to return to his family. Bond executes the Huntress, with the golden gun, as she struggles to pull up her ax, as the Mazda is very low profile. Batgirl, not caring for the Mazda any longer, tries to push Bond, but he instead jumps onto the car and begins to empty his mag into the roof. Tyrion, ax in hand, climbs out of the windshield to meet Bond in battle. Bond, having emptied his pistol, charges the imp. With a slash, 007 is missing his legs from the knee down. The Blood pouring into the Mazda causes Batgirl to crash. R2 detecting no allies, sends a laser cannon barrage, finishing off any survivors. But suddenly the ship takes a heavy hit, and not a second later, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman is holding the droids beaten shell, as he shreds many tears. Zombie Green Lantern groans as he strokes the defeated Saiyans back in an act of comfort. Unfortunately, it has just made him super horny. Conner then begins to have intercourse with the remains of the Mazda, slowly burning to death, no willpower to stop himself.
-Both teams have grouped up as the sun begins to set. The Turds, who are short and Homo-friendly, all still feel uneasy, like someone is lingering about. Quickly they begin to hear cries for help, as the turn to see a blue glow fade, as Talia is being feasted upon by two zombies. The two zombies are crushed but not in time to save Talia. Suddenly several missiles land around them and begin to spew out radiation. A blue glow fades in as Dr. Manhatten deatomizes Zombie Green Lantern. Batman struggling to maintain his senses attempts attacks at the Dr. who dodges well. The Menasor is seen charging forward at the floating skull. Dodging laser fire, they land several hits on the arms, disabling many of the ship’s systems. Reverse Flash thinking that Yoda is struggling to sense anything in the radiation goes in for an attack. Yoda meditating, sends his lightsaber directly into the speedster. The Stunticons, no longer being able to tolerate each other, begin to act out individually. Brainiac seeing an opening lands several blows, destroying Dead End, Break Down, and Motor Master. Yoda, jumping from the radiation to a nearby rooftop, drags the damaged skull into the ground. Wildrider and Dragstrip, begin a beat down on the Skull. But then a large beam splits the bots in two as Brainiac jumps from the wreck.
-Yoda and Brainiac stand a distance from each other. The Jedi Master remaining calm as the machine man seemed to be having delusions. Brainiac sends a laser beam at the green hermit, who deflects it back sending Brainiac back into the wreckage. Yoda hurries to help Black Lantern Batman, as he can sense the nearby battle. He arrives to see Batman on the defense, with that heat coming from Dr. Manhatten. Sensing Yoda, The Dr. knows he must finish Batman quickly, But before he can land the final blow, The Hermit is ready. In a blur, the hermit begins to move so quickly the Dr. struggles to effectively evade all of batman’s strikes. Eventually finding more and more hits landing on the Dr. Yoda makes a killing blow. The Dark Dark Knight, with the tuckered hermit on his back, vanish into the night victorious.

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Week 2 Consortium:

George Washington's House Elves are: Superman, Godzilla, T-1000, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill (missing one leg), Slugfest, Autoscout #1, & Autoscout #2, & Vampire #1-2 (Both with 4 Deaths.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is: Superboy, Doomsday, King Ghodira, 4 Decepticons, 5 Transformers (all with 4 deaths), Spider Miles, 1 Allosaurus, & 2 T-Rex.

Week 2 Democracy: The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Striders of Rohan are HYDRA Soldier #1-2 in an AT-AT, HYDRA Soldier #3-4 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #5-6 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #7-8 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #9-10 in an AT-ST, Admiral William Kelley in a F-18, Earth 2 Batman in the O.G. Batmobile, Earth 2 Catwoman, The Comedian, Black Flash, King Kong, Magneto, Robert Downey Jr. in Ferrari F-40, & Goblin #7-9.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, Quinn, Mega Man X, Khal Drogo, Mike Tyson (Punch Out), & Agent of SHIELD #1-3.

Season XI Week 1: House Elves vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The House Elves are: Superman, Everest from Paw Patrol, and White Walkers #1-6.

The Assassins are: Brainiac in his Skull Ship, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, White Lantern Zach Houslander, Stan Lee, and Zombies #3-7.

Superman and Everest were hanging out at the Fortress of Solitude, minding their own business and eating delicious clam chowder out of a 10 gallon hat. In the background, six White Walkers were having a break dancing competition, getting totally funky as they're known to do. "Mmm, this sure is a hearty chowder" said Superman. "Bark or whatever" said Everest. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Yes, hello, who's there?"

"Hey guys, it's us, the Assassins. We're here to kill you on your own turf, can we come in?"

"Well sure, I guess, but I don't think you guys will be able to kill me, especially not here, in my Fortress of Solitude."

The door swings open and White Lantern Zach comes bursting in, plowing through the White Walkers who were just trying to enjoy their hip-hop breaks.

"Oh come on now that wasn't a nice thing to do, they hadn't even started yet." Superman wagged a finger in disapproval as Red Lantern Jeff rushed him, only to fatally collide with Superman's outstretched fist.

Braniac's Skull Ship ripped the roof off the fortress, and his booming voice echoed off the slick walls. "Hey Superman it's me, Braniac, I know the rest of my team was no match but I've got just the thing to beat you!"

"Is it those missiles with the red sun radiation mentioned in the wiki? Because you already did that once, I'm obviously not going to fall for it again."

"Well... actually, yes it was the missiles. Wait, wait, what do you mean 'mentioned in the wiki'? Isn't that a little... meta?"

"Hm... you know what, that's a good point. I had a suspicion that things were amiss when I was eating soup from a hat with a dog. This just about confirms it, I'm gonna go do some investigative journalism."

Superman runs to his in-house phonebooth and changes in to his Clark Kent disguise before flying off to my office. He arrived at the shack and walked up to the door, embellished with a rough piece of half-inch ply reading "Daveatu's Fortress of Ineptitude." He knocked gently and politely. No response. A second time he knocked, this time in a fun rhythmic pattern. Still nothing. He tried knocking a bit harder, but his super strength was too much for the sloppy craftsmanship of the entrance, and the hinges fell right out of the wall.

"Uh- how unexpected! My normal human strength has accidentally dislodged this faulty door! I'll just... proceed inside, then."

Clark walked through the empty foyer and followed a muffled clicking sound to a room full of writers. Well, technically, a room full of chimpanzees chained to typewriters. Furiously they smashed at the keys, seemingly unaware of Superman's presence. When one would slow down and become distracted, a burst of white powder would spray from their typewriter, stimulating them back up to speed in a flash. Warily he proceeded to the back of the room, to a small door labeled "Big Boss Man".

After his last knocking mishap, I swung the door open before he could wreck it. I was wearing a rubber clown nose. "Yeah, come in. Need something?"

"Yes, hello. My name is Clark Kent, I'm a reporter for the Daily Planet. You're Daveatu the Watcher, correct?"

"No, see the nose? I'm The Jokey Man, hoo-hoo-ha."

"Is... something wrong?"

"Yeah, yeah, do me a quick favor Clark. Could you take off your glasses?"

He froze for just a moment, nodded, and removed his spectacles. I faked a gasp.

"Oh my god, wait a minute, you're Superman! Oh man, whoa! What a huge unexpected twist, I never would have guessed through your amazing disguise. I just assumed all journalists were built like semi-trucks. So, why are you here? Actually, before you answer that, just kidding. I brought you here. I'm writing this, right now even. And you know that, because that's also what I'm writing. I'm like Mr. Mxyzptlk but somehow even shorter, I can do whatever."

"Alright, then why AM I here?"

"Well, I mean, you're Superman right? The setting is your Fortress of Solitude. You already won, what was I gonna do, just write down the single line 'The Assassins showed up and Superman boffed them all to death at lightspeed with his mighty meat dong'? Well I'd look like a fool then, wouldn't I?" I honked my rubber nose.

"Well of course that wouldn't look too interesting on paper, but come on, you never know what could happen. Braniac is pretty resourceful right? And there were a couple Lanterns, you of all people know not to underestimate the Lantern Corps."

"Yeah, Braniac is great, but here's the thing: You are the instant win. Yeah, sometimes you die, sometimes in pretty goofy ways! But on average, you're the trump card, especially with homefield advantage."

Superman looked puzzled, some combination of flattered and indignant. "But there are plenty of other character who can match my strength. Even some who exceed it! I may be iconic but I'm not omnipotent."

"You know what, good point, very good point. Let me find a very good rebuttal." I shuffled through the cluttered mess of loose files and papers on my desk. "Oh, here, this will do. Check this out." I summoned Saitama from One-Punch Man to my office. His blank expression had only a hint of curiosity at this unexpected teleportation. Before he could ask, I flicked a finger to fling him toward Superman. He burst into a fine mist on contact.

"What have you done?! Who was that poor man, how could you do this?"

"Oh that was One-Punch Man. You know why they call him that? He can defeat just about any enemy in a single punch. Just about, not always, but you'd think somebody that strong could at least hold their own against you, right?"

"Not if you write him in and pop him like a grape in an instant!"

"Exactly my point, Kal. See, you little green army men are all assigned point values. You're pretty high, friend, pretty high indeed. That guy? Not even close. He's barely worth more than two Ron Popeils."

"Why? This doesn't make sense." He said in pre-determined agreement.

"Well obviously because he doesn't come with enough nostalgia. He's new, who's got time to give consideration to new things? Hey, here's one you actually might know." I honked my nose again and summoned 'The Batman Who Laughs' off my roster. Batman, in a rainbow wig and big floppy shoes, fell to the floor cackling hysterically.

"Is that Batman? What have you done to him?!"

"No, this is 'The Batman Who Laughs'. Sound familiar?"

"What? No, Earth-22's Bruce is locked in the dungeon at the Hall of Justice. Is this a joke?"

"Ha! Hey, sure looks that way doesn't it? No, no, this isn't the Batman Who Laughs of the DC universe! This one is from the '?' universe! I dunno, this guy must have been the first result when you Google 'The Batman Who Laughs.' C'est la vie." I shriveled the Batclown like a raisin and popped him in my mouth. Tasted funny. "It gets even better though, what if I decided I DON'T want you to be the end-all be-all of the match?"

"Alright, what if?"

I clapped my hands together and the band Ween appeared in a circle around the Man of Steel. Dean Ween, sweating profusely, gazed around the room with pupils the size of hubcaps. "Holy s*** man, there's no way this was acid. This is too f***ing much dude."

"Nah guys, it's acid, really good acid. I'm your spirit guide, an emissary of Boognish. He said you gotta beat Superman's ass to achieve enlightenment or whatever. Go on, do it."

Superman arched his brow. "No offense, but how would some D-list band stand a chance against- Oh, ow, oh God! Their musical instruments are so strong, why does this hurt so bad?" The band tore Superman apart in an animal frenzy, leaving a smashed pile of meat and bones before I sent them Back to Basom. "It's rewind time" I said with yet another honk of my nose, and Superman reformed into his un-smashed glory.

"Do you see the point I'm making here, Supes? We have the power, there are no rules, and we just pick whichever team we want to win for whatever reason. If you don't like it you can rip me a new one in the comments section below. Now go kill the robot octopus and the dude with the white power."

"Yes sir, Daveatu sir", Superman said like a good cardboard cutout.

Season 11, Week 1: Midgets vs Striders

The Midgets are: Yoda (w/ white lantern ring), Link.

Striders are: The Incredibles (Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack Jack, Fro-zone), Samwise Gamgee (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), Bilbo Baggins, Xenomorph #15 (4 deaths), Fedayeen #1.

Link starts the attack since he is still full health and does a spin move and throws his sword. The sword finds Mr. Bilbo who was huddled off to the side with Sam trying to stay warm and discussing how very much they dislike adventures such as this. Xenomorph #15 pounces on Link before his sword can return and eats his face with its little face that’s inside his mouth. The Xenomorph is then sent to the graveyard as Yoda lands on his head and drives the lightsaber through his skull. Fro-zone shoots a blast of frozen energy that Yoda easily avoids as he jumps off the dead alien. Yoda then force pushes Fro-zone off a nearby ice cliff to his death. Elastigirl tries to restrain Yoda while Dash runs along the ceiling and walls of the ice cave and starts dropping icicles down. The icicles accidently kill Fedayeen #1 in the incident and as Yoda breaks free from Elastigirl, he uses the force to catch some of the falling ice and send it toward her and Violet killing them both. Mr Incredible, drunk with bloodlust after the death of his wife and daughter, charges the tiny jedi into a wall and dazes him. Before Yoda can lift his ring or lightsaber, he is restricted by the Blue Lantern Ring of Samwise Gamgee who, with frozen tears still stinging his cheeks, musters all the courage in his tiny hobbit heart to hold Yoda just long enough for Mr. Incredible to deliver a knock out punch to the skull as Jack Jack sets the unconscious Yoda on fire, giving him a proper Jedi burial.

Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. The Empire

Affirmative Action Popeye's is (Earth 2) Superman, The Tazmanian Devil, and Sentinel #9.

The Empire is Black Lantern Superman, Bernie Sanders (w/ The Hammer (and Sickle) Bros. Suit), & Bronze Dragon #1-4.

E2 Superman and Taz sit nestled inside the Crystal Palace known as The Fortress of Solitude, while their Sentinel circles the outside perimeter as a means of defense. The Popeye's crew are setting up for a huge party with an elite group of guests expected to come. A convention if you will; but Bernie and his friends aren't invited. Outside, The Empire mounts their offensive, despite being unsure if they can penetrate the walls of the Fortress that only the true Superman seems able to open. The Bernie Bro. in his new suit, hammer and sickle at his waist is still formulating his plan to get inside. The four Bronze Dragons await the symbol of solidarity from their comrade and Senator. They will move first in an attempt to bust open a path for their leader and his mighty Black Lantern bodyguard. BL Supes has been feeling the Bern for some time and in many ways has become the embodiment of Bernie's message and popular support. The power behind the Populist. The muscle behind the Manifesto. Bernie slams his hammer and sickle together to spark the attack and calls the four bronze dragons out by name: “On Harris, on Booker, on Warren, and Gabbard”!! Bernie yells as they move towards the Fortress.

The four mystical, metallic dragons to better suit the setting, morph from their winged forms and take the shape of massive Russian Yeti that Premier Putin has often spoke of. Bernie and BL Supes hang back as the dragons attack; and watch in horror as their plans to overtake the Party are dashed. Sentinel #9 Blooms bergs of electricity to slow them down; but Bernie's acolytes make short work of the initial defense and destroy the mechanical monstrosity. It is the defensive counter-measures of the Fortress itself that take out Booker first, then Kamala, and finally Warren as Bernie sits back unable to help them. It is hard to see if Gabbard was destroyed or not by the ecological machine laced with billions of dollars worth of crystal; but she disappeared from sight nonetheless.

BL Supes and Bernie hang out outside the Fortress in a Safe Space while they attempt to formulate their second run at the powerful White House of the Superman in front of them. BL Supes begins having his doubts about the possibility of victory; so much so that he asks his beloved leader: “Do you even understand how Capitalism works”??

Bernie calmly looks at his prized warrior and answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

For four long days, days that seem like years Bernie and his powerful follower wait outside the Fortress of Solitude amid constant attacks from the machine that protects the deepest darkest secrets of Krypton. They simply can't figure out a way to get inside. Finally, after frustration has set in fully, Bernie snaps and aggressively yells to his teammate: “You were once Superman!! You were once a part of what goes on behind these walls!! Have you no answer to it's secrets?? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THE FORTRESS WORKS”?!!?

With that question still hanging from the lips of his comrade, something clicks in the mind of BL Superman. A light goes off in his black lit brain and he answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

Immediately after saying these words, BL Supes looks to a little known weak spot in the foundation of the Fortress and begins bombarding it with darkened heat vision, Black Lantern energy, and a flurry of punches and kicks that could level buildings as strong as the Pentagon without any outside interference. A hole is finally punched through the Fortress large enough for the two Empire members to climb through, but they are met with resistance as soon as they enter the building. Despite beginning this battle with a group of “delegated” teammates that outnumbered the Affirmative Action crew, once they crossed into the Halls of the Fortress they are evenly matched two on two.

The two Supermen instantly square off in a Becks style pitched battle. BL Supes should have a bit of an advantage considering that a black lantern's light cannot be extinguished without the power of two separate lantern rings; but this is E2 Superman's house; it's his party and he can change the rules if he wants to.

On the other side of the wide, expanse room Bernie and Taz square off. The Tazmanian Devil moves wildly at Bernie in an attempt to assassinate the politician; but Bernie doesn't have a wife or sister to hide behind. He instead moves aggressively towards Taz, stunning him by throwing two hammers at the face of the snow covered white devil that so frequently attempts to quell the spirit of the working man. Bernie then uses his sickle to sweep the legs out from under his opponent and drives yet another hammer into the eyeball of Taz to finish him off. Bernie searches for his remaining teammate and looks to his right, for he he knows in his heart that nobody is to the Left of him. He sees the battle between the Supermen taking place, but sees no way into the middle of the fight without risking life and limb.

The two Supermen are completely and utterly, evenly matched in every way. Incalculable strength meeting immeasurable durability with every punch. Freeze breath and heat vision prove to have very little power against freeze breath and heat vision as most would anticipate. BL Supes takes a calculated risk, knowing that by the rules of DC Comics he should be immune to death from the non-ring wielding Superman even if his opponent is retaining more than 100% of his regular power in their current setting. BL Supes moves in fast for the kill towards the jugular vein of E2 Supes, leaving himself open to attack; but E2 Supes changes the rules that dictate the setting and triggers the change in atmosphere of his crystal home. Green and Yellow lights shine from the ceiling, thrusting Oan and Qwardian power harnessed from the Green and Yellow Lantern Corps of Krypton, decimating the power aura of BL Supes and leaving him open for an insanely powerful double-fisted punch from E2 Supes that breaks the neck of the once death-energy resurrected Earth 1 version of himself.

Bernie stands alone against the true power that fuels the machine that has concentrated all its power on his destruction. Bernie faces his opponent head on. Hammer in one hand, sickle in the other and the power of the Proletariat emanating from every cell in his body. E2 Supes laughs at the sight of his final opponent. “The United States will never be a Socialist country” The patriotic believer in truth, justice, and the American way utters. He continues: “You are in my arena now Sanders. No Bernie Bros to protect you, no popular vote to be had, just a good old-fashioned fight. Although, I am unarmed and I must admit that I noticed you handle your pair of weapons well. I'm glad I am not in NEED of such primitive tools”.

Bernie smirks and says: “Well, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”, as he rushes at the Man of Steel with every bit of energy he can muster. Bernie lands his first hammer attack; but the sickle is smacked from his hands with such force that Bernie is knocked to the ground as well. Kal L, with a twinge of sadness on his face says: “You gave it a Hell of a run; but we were never gonna let you win”....

Superman then ends the movement altogether by conjuring and directing such an intense bit of heat vision at his opponent, that not even Senator Sanders could feel the Bern.

Dinomites VS. Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Dinomites: Ice w/ a Star Sapphire Ring, Jango Fett, Larry Koopa w/ Ice Flower

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Batman, Robin, Alfred, Catwoman and Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1

Ice and Larry Koopa skate into the Fortress of Solitude while Jango Fett comes flying in  only to notice that Batman, Robin, Catwoman, a SHIELD Agent and for some reason a Butler are in the Fortress of Solitude.

Batman doesn’t recognize the people who enter so he throws a Batarang at Larry Koopa temporarily disabling him. Ice then shoots an ice blast at the SHIELD agent and Alfred thus freezing them solid and then Jango Fett shoots them with his blaster, blowing them into a million pieces. 

Robin then starts to throw a volley of Birdarangs at Jango Fett, but Jango being a master at flight with his Jetpack dodges all of the Birdarangs easily and shoots Robin with his Shrapnel Blast Missile that blows Robin to bits. What Jango Fett had not known was that the Birdarangs that Robin threw were stuck to the wall behind Jango and they were explosive with a delayed timer on them. They blow up right after Jango kills Robin and causes his Jet Pack to malfunction making him fly all over the room like when you let the air out of a balloon and eventually he flies into a wall where the Jetpack blows up and kills him.

Concurrent with Jango Fett and Robin battling, Ice and Catwoman were also battling. Ice uses her abilities to skate all over the Fortress and shooting ice blasts at Catwoman at the same time, but Catwoman is too quick and agile to be hit by the blasts. So Ice creates a snowstorm inside the Fortress, she continues to shoot ice blasts at Catwoman and is finally able to hit Catwoman, as the floor was icy causing Catwoman to slip and being hit by a blast. Catwoman is now frozen solid. 

While Ice and Catwoman are fighting Batman uses his grappling hook to get high up in the ceiling waiting for the right time to strike against Ice as she skates all up and down the Fortress. After Ice is victorious against Catwoman she takes a second to breathe at the top of an Ice wave she had used to skate on. Batman then swoops down and Glide Kicks Ice off her wave and makes her fall about 50 ft on top of the Frozen Catwoman which shatters Catwoman into pieces. Ice also dies from the fall as she fell head first onto Catwoman thus causing Ice to break her neck and die.

Batman takes a deep breath and sighs thinking he’s victorious but all of a sudden he’s been frozen out of nowhere… 

Larry Koopa had awoken from the Batarang he was hit by earlier and had frozen Batman from behind with his Ice Flower, the Koopaling then pushes the frozen Batman out of the Fortress into a nearby abyss.