Sunday, March 14, 2021

Evil Midgets Vs. Be Gentle at The City of Detroit

 Evil Midgets Team: White Lantern Yoda, Darth Maul w/the darksaber and double bladed lightsaber, Gamera, Wendigo, Bat mite, skywarp

Be Gentle Team: Black Goku, Z fighters (gohan, krillin, piccolo, tien, yamcha, chaitzu, yajirobe, and bulma), super boy, king zeno 


It's a very hood like day in the city of Detroit.  The car alarms are ringing, you can hear your neighbors Aunt kicking out the gang banging nephew, and the air is filled with a nice cloud of smoke.  It all seemed to be a normal day for Yoda and his fellow peers, that is until their encounter with Goku Black and the Z fighters.  Yoda had just gone for his brisk morning walk when he had his encounter with Piccolo.  Yoda had instantly drawn his lightsaber and attacked without hesitation.  Although Piccolo did not make an attempt to attack Yoda knew his strengths and knew he could be the only green badass in Detroit ya hur

Upon seeing what Yoda had just done Bat Mite makes a run for it.  God knows where but all we know is he’s not gonna be anywhere close any soon.  Goku instantly springs into action and shoots across the sky where he is met by Skywarp.  Little does skywarp know what he is going to get into.  Goku doesn’t even bat an eye as he hits him with Dragon Fist and blows him away with ease.


A tremble begins to shake the entire city.  It couldn’t have been from the power of the Dragon Fist.  It was Gamera the want to be Godzilla. Even though Gamera isn’t Godzilla this big beast can do some damage.  Gamera comes tunneling toward Detroit with none other than Bat Mite on its back.  Causing nothing but utter destruction Gamera is running in the city and crushes King Zeno while doing so.  Superboy instantly springs to the aid of Goku where the both team together to try and take down Gamera.  Superboy uses his heat vision as Goku powers up a large Kamehameha wave while screaming like a jackass to shoot at Gamera.  In unison they strike Gamera and deal a great amount of damage.


All while this is going on Yoda and Darth Maul have taken notice to the rest of the Z fighters.  

Yoda and Tien and beginning to engage in combat.  Tien realises he can’t get close enough and tries to use the Solar Flare Technique, Yoda brushes it off like it's nothing and swings his saber taking off the head of Tien.  Wendigo is met with the unwavering power of martial arts from Krillin and Yamcha.  Where together they are able to take down Wendigo with a one two combo. As you were sitting here thinking Darth Maul couldn’t get any more badass but he does because not only does he have his double bladed lightsaber he has the Darksaber where he is able to wipe out chiaotzu, yajirobe, and bulma like Anakin did them kids in Episode 3. Ya I said it. Fuck them kids


Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Goku, and Superboy all regroup in centerfield at Comerica Park as it is one of the only places untouched by the utter destruction of the battle between Goku and Gamera.  Just when they thought they were alone Yoda comes walking out of the away team dugout saying “here are we” as he is followed by Maul and Bat Mite.  Numbers are in the Z fighters but intelligence and skill not so much.  Goku instantly shoots into the air to build up some sort of power.  On the ground a clash ensues between the z fighters and maul.  Maul is able to lunge at Krillin but is stopped by Yamcha’s wolf Fang fist.  Maul just laughs and utters “you are nothing” and swiftly kills both Krillin and Yamcha with his Darksaber.  Superboy is left to fight Yoda where he is holding his own until Maul is there to help.  Just as he feels so hopeless and blinding light and gut wrenching screaming is let out. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” *five episodes pass* “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” and Goku lets down a Spirit Bomb Decimating what was left of the city of Detroit.  


Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Crack Danks

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are The Shazam Family:  Mary Marvel, Capt. Marvel Jr., Eugene Choi, Pedro Pena, Darla Dudley, & C.C. Batson, Capt. Marvel, Cyborg Superman (w/ yellow lantern ring), & Link (w/ green lantern ring).


Crack Danks are Dr. Manhattan (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Black Lantern Superman, Leonardo, Donatello, & Raphael, Beowolf, & Rabban Harkonen (w/ 2 blasters).


Prologue:  

Two powerhouses of such potential of mass devastation could not simply be put into a city without the setting becoming marred and destroyed beyond repair; so we Watchers chose the one location that could not possibly be made worse by the devastation.....


Now for the Match:

WELCOME TO DETROIT, MICHIGAN everybody, it's a beautiful day chock full of just a little bit of rain, a dense chill, and a balmy 43 degrees.  The two teams roll in ready for a fight; but it looks like they are going to take in a little bit of the scenery first.

Leading the Dinomites is Captain Marvel and the Captain Marvel family as they roll into town (No, not that Captain Marvel, the Marvel Captain Marvel and Marvel Family from DC, the DC Captain Marvel isn't here).  Eugene turns to Pedro and says:  "Dang dude did the battle already happen and we missed it??  I mean, look at this place".

"You ain't kidding bruh, good thing we brought Robocop with us".  Retorts Pedro.

Mary gives them both a glance that obviously means SHUT UP and says:  "That isn't Robocop on our team, it is Cyborg Superman.  And he looks pissed so try and keep it down.

Back on the other side of the battlefield...  city....  err, battlefield; whatever...  The Crack Dizzles are ready to sizzle.  And by sizzle, I mean none of them seem to have much in common and are keeping to themselves, other than the Ninja Turtles who are still mourning the loss of their brother Mikey (RIP in the chat for Michelangelo, this is the Ninja Turtles first match without him).  "Hey Leo, this place kind of makes you miss the New York sewers doesn't it" asks Donatello.

"COME ON LEO....  Shut Donnie up, AIN'T NOBODY GOT ANY TIME FO DIS.  Now let's get these bodacious baddies and get the shell out of this city".  proclaims Raph defiantly.  

Both teams turn around the corner of Michigan Avenue and Trumbull where they first see the sight of an abandoned baseball diamond and then catch a glimpse of each other.  The battle quickly ensues with a vengeance.  Beowolf begins lighting off a flurry of counter-measures scattering the Marvel Family in all directions.  Leo, Don, and Raph engage in a melee with C.C., Darla, and Pedro making for a strangely pitched battle.  The Marvel family being far more powerful, but the Turtles having skills that are far more honed.  This battle rages on, while the rest of the Marvel clan unleashes everything they have on the enormous Neo-Titan Cymek Beowolf.  

Link blocks three quick shots from the dual blasters of The Beast Rabban, and then relieves the Harkonen Madman of his head, finally drawing first blood in this vicious encounter.  

Link then turns to his right and sees the intense battle taking place between Cyborg Superman and Black Lantern Superman.  As they punch each other with building leveling punches and eye beams that could even be used for melting steal beams and Epstein memes for all y'all poetic dreams.  Cyborg Superman, weakened to his almost breaking point, takes flight and lights up the Black Lantern version of his arch-enemy with every ounce of yellow energy he can muster from his ring.  Black Lantern Supes blasts right through the assault and rips the half-robot, half-Kryptonian's head from his body.  The Black lantern, still glowing yellow from the energy pumped into him screams in a mix of anguish and victory.  Link sees this and leaps into action.  Completing a summersault, he charges up his bow and arrow with the power of his green lantern ring and delivers an arrow directly into the eye socket of Black Lantern Superman creating the blast of dual lantern power necessary to kill a Black Lantern.  

White Lantern Dr. Manhattan and Captain Marvel take to the air and head high above the city for what is certain to be the most epic battle of the match.  The two over-powered characters glare at each other with intensity when Capt. Marvel notices that Dr. Manhattan is naked.  Not to mention that the once blue Captain Marvel is now white (the least favorite color of anyone who is woke).  An appalled Marvel instantly grabs her I-phone and begins tweeting about how she cannot believe that a racist man is allowed to fly around naked, but that she isn't allowed to.  "THE PATRIARCHY IS ALIVE AND WELL" she screams whilst reading her own tweet aloud.  Dr. Manhattan then disappears as he in CANCELLED from existence, while Capt. Marvel simultaneously dies of PTSD Butthurt causing their skirmish to result in a draw.

As these events unfold, The Marvel family battles on with the Turtles and their unlikely ally Beowolf (who ironically looks a little bit like the Technodrome now that I think about it).  With lasguns and old-fashioned missiles blazing about out of the arsenal of Beowolf who is being hit by an endless flurry of magical force, the three heroes in a half shell duck down into a ditch for a moment where Donatello reveals a plan of action.  The Turtle that best does machines (that's a fact jack) reveals that after studying the specs of Beowolf he found out about the micro-nuke within his hull.  "I have a plan that could win us this thing, but I have to admit, it is a real D*&% move" confesses Donnie.

"WELL DO IT ALREADY" Bellows Raph.

"I don't know guys, let me meditate on this for a minute.  I mean, what would Master Splinter do"??  Says Leonardo.

"COME ON LEO.  SPLINTER AIN'T EVEN HERE" says Raph with vigor.

Donnie looks at them both and says:  "I hate to say it Leo, but I think I agree with Raph on this one".

Leo nods and Donnie pulls a remote control out of his utility belt.  The Turtles pull up a manhole cover and jump into the sewers.  Donatello presses down on the remote just as the Marvel Family is converging over the top of The gargantuan Cymek.  Much to the surprise of their supposed ally Beowolf the tactical nuke within his hull blows up taking out most of what is still standing in the city block.  Including the entire Marvel Family, except their most powerful member Mary who with her superior powers and experience was able to shield herself from the blast.  The Turtles come out of the sewer to see a battered Link, who barely got his red tunic on in time to shield from the radioactive blast.  Link is too busy attempting to get the tunic off before it burns him alive, while the Ninja Brothers look around in wonder to see if anyone else survived, their question was quickly answered.  The scream of "SHAZAM" is heard as Mary flies in fast in a rage towards the three Turtles.  She makes short work of Donatello before pushing Raphael to the ground with vigor.  Raphael instinctively swings his double Sais together and delivers the two weapons through the ears and into the brain of Mary Marvel as she blows a hole through Raph's chest.

Leonardo looks in shock at seeing his two brothers deaths; but draws swords knowing that this fight is not over.  Link draws his sword as well and the two tired and battered warriors take a moment to size each other up.  "With all the powerhouses in this battle, who would have thought that it would come down to just you and me".  Link yells to his worthy opponent Leonardo.

"Well, considering that we are the obvious two favorite characters in this match of the Watcher Joshatu the Great and Powerful....  It seems pretty obvious actually".  Leo says in snide fashion as he breaks the Fourth Wall.  

The two warriors nod to each other in respect and clash with ferocity.  An evenly matched melee battle ensues for some time.  Link tries to confuse his opponent by bringing out his boomerang, but Leo swiftly cuts it in half.  Leo then comes down hard on Link's Hyrulian Shield and is shocked to see his well-forged Katana shattered.  The Turtle uses this unplanned distraction to his advantage as he gets behind the shield and is able to knock it from the arm of Link creating a one sword to one sword contest.  Leo knocks Link to the ground with a roundhouse kick after a well-timed sword parry and begins to move in for the kill; but Link is able to regain grip of the Master Sword and send it up underneath the chin of Leonardo before the Ninja could deal the finishing blow.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Week 2 Democracy: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs George Washingtons House Elves

Popeyes are : Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Mr Mxyztplk, Forest Gump w/ Green Lantern Ring, The Bad Batch : Hunter, Crosshair w/ Amban Sniper Rifle, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo, and Earth 2 Superman.

House Elves are : Thor, Colosus, Black Bolt, Prince Harry in a F16, Snake Plissken, The Monkguin, Jar Jar Binks (da goat) , Luke Skywalker (last life) , Chase in his police cruiser, Marshal in his fire truck, Sky in her helicopter, Rocky in his garbage truck, Rubble in his bulldozer, Zuma in his hovercraft, Tracker in his jeep, Everest in her snowmobile and Ryder. 

Monday, March 8, 2021

S12 W1: Striders of Rohan vs Crack Danks

 The Striders of Rohan are: Gandalf w/ White Lantern Ring (4 deaths), Winter Soldier w/ Green Lantern Ring, Blue Lantern #1a, Blue Lantern #2a


Crack Danks are: Jolee Fishdo, Grey Worm, Snow White and the 7 dwarfs, Sardakaur Terror Trooper #3 (4 deaths), Goldmember



The Striders are waiting at the bottom of the pit when the Danks rush from the side and slide in. Goldmember starts to tumble ass over ears and ends up breaking both his legs just like Chris Pratt did. He laid to the side for the duration of the match bleeding out as one of his femers tore his femoral artery. 


Grey worm had taken the time prematch to train and rally the 7 dwarves into a mini army of the unsullied. Snow white lifted her dress up to distract the Blue lanterns and in their moment of weakness, this allowed Sneezy and Grumpy to attack. Sneezy jumped on the face of Blue Lantern #1a and sneezed repeatedly into his mouth and face. Everyone was appalled since sneezing in public in 2021 is basically on par with chemical warfare. Anyway, BL1a got insta-Covid and died. Grumpy went into rage mode and took all his anger out on BL2a’s face. 


Winter Soldier was able to destroy all the Dwarves though along with the Disney princess. Grey worm threw a spear and Jolee pulled out some sick lightsaber moves and the two of them were able to overpower the Winter soldier while Gandalf easily took out the Sardakaur Terror Trooper #3 with a quick blast from his staff.


The greatest wizard of all time stared at the unfrightened duo that remained and calmly chuckled. As he twirled his staff he said to the two, “You didn’t actually think I would go to the graveyard in week one to YOU TWO, did you?”


The two realize their fate as Gandalf grabs the staff with both hands and buries it into the earth. The resulting shockwave annihilates the remaining Danks.


House Elves vs The TEAM

 The House Elves are: Daddy Supes (Superman) and Dick Tracy, no joke required.

The TEAMs are: Every Artrip we could find,  including and limited to: Chris Artrip with a Tanuki Suit, Julie Artrip with a Fire Flower, Ella Artrip with a Frog Suit, Jack Artrip with a Raccoon Leaf, Ben Artrip with a Goomba Sock, Red Ranger Chris Artrip, Pink Ranger Julie Artrip, Yellow Ranger Ella Artrip, Blue Ranger Jack Artrip, and Black Ranger Ben Artrip. Also Vulcan and an Ewok (#7) are there.


At the edge of The Pit, as featured in the hit Mouse Rat song, the Artrip Force assembled. "Artrip Force, assemble!" shouted Chris, dressed head to toe as a Japanese raccoon-dog. "My wife and kids?" The real life Artrips stepped forward. At the sight of Jack, Ewok #7 began to wriggle against the hold of Vulcan, who was standing a couple yards away from the group. "This thing clearly wants to be in the family photo, why am I holding it?" Chris's expression changed from one of determination to teeming rage, spittle erupting from his reddened face. "Vulcan, you SHUT UP! You do not speak to the Artrips! We are assembling and you're ruining it for everyone!" His wide eyes darted around, landing on a small rock, which he picked up in his tanuki paw and chucked at Vulcan's stupid face. "Alright, Mighty Morphin' Artrip Rangers?" One at a time they struck dramatic poses and introduced themselves.

"Red Ranger Chris!"

"Pink Ranger Julie!"

"Yellow Ranger El-"

Y'Ella was interrupted by a cackle as loud as a jet engine, and Superman descended from the sky with Dick Tracy on his back, gun in hand. "Hey bozos, y'all ready for this? I've got like 5 dates with all the local flooze here tonight." He landed in front of Chris, lit a cigarette, and sucked it down in the blink of an eye. With a gentle flick he bounced the smoldering butt off Chris's face. "So let's make this quick, fursuit."

Chris smirked, picked up the butt, and began to smoke it himself despite it being mostly filter. "See, that's what I was thinking big boy. You know, the crazy thing is, I own you. I own your whole team, and I say you forfeit." Superman pulled off his badass aviator sunglasses for dramatic effect, his brow furrowed. "That doesn't sound right... but I don't actually know enough about the rules of this game. Dick, the by-laws?" The grumbling gumshoe screwed the cap back on the flask he was swigging and pulled out a small book from his coat. He flips a few pages, squinted his eyes at the text. He looked at the Artrips, then back at his book. Glanced at Superman, then back to the book. Took another pull from his flask. Back to the book again. Finally, he snapped it shut in one hand and slipped it in to his pocket. "No. This is a game, you're not even real." With these words, Chris and his family began to fade from existence like Marty McFly. "No, NO!" Chris fought against his fate, attempting a charge at Dick Tracy, but Dick produced his gun and shot him down. The Artrips vanished from this reality, but the Mighty Morphin Power Artrips still watched in shock. Ewok #7, upon seeing Jack blipped out of existence, broke free from Vulcan and began to tear at Dick's face. Superman raised a brow and made a lazy gesture toward the pit. "Alright, whatever, get in." Red Ranger Chris shouted "It's Morphin' Time, Artrip Rangers!" They all began to pose in formation, but Superman wasn't having it, and he inhaled another large gasp, sucking the Rangers off-balance and in to the Pit below. He crashed in after them, grabbing Blue Ranger Jack and swinging him into the other Rangers like a fleshy cudgel. However, Vulcan was still standing at the edge of the Pit, and used his geokinesis to bring its maw shut on both Superman and the Artrip Rangers. A brief moment of calm passed before Superman erupted from the Earth, glaring at Vulcan. His eyes charged up a heat beam, but Vulcan stopped it inches from Superman's face, condensing the energy in a tight ball like a miniature star. The ball released, and Superman's smug head was no more. He pulled a cigarette from Superman's pocket, lit it with an energy beam of his own, and flicked it into the reopened pit. "Live long and prosper, Superbitch."

Sunday, March 7, 2021

AAA Vs Sith Aids

 Sith Aids Team: Daenerys Targaryen , Daenerys Dragon, IG-88 , Baby Sandworm, Mr.PoopyButthole


AAA: Freddy Kruegar w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Red Lantern Ring Jeff Houslander, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Zombie 13-15, Orc 1 17-18


The mist is heavy, the fog is thick, and the night is dark on Elm Street. Daenerys Targaryen is walking the streets as she is lost and doesn’t know where she is or how she even got to this dark and dreary place.  She begins to think she is alone, that is until she begins to hear voices.  These aren’t just any voices, these are the voices of singing children.  Daenerys is confused as it's the middle of the night and there are no children in sight.  She grows tired and says “fuck it, I’m gona post up on this here bench.”  She begins to fall asleep while in fear because the voices have grown louder and closer. She hasn’t realized she may have made a fatal mistake as she has fallen asleep.


Daenerys thinks she has awoken but she is in yet another unfamiliar place.  She is at the Pit in Pawnee Indiana, but she isn’t alone.  She is surrounded by new faces who are also scared and on the verge of shitting said pants.  It's dark and barely anyone can see but then a single street light turns on and everyone is revealed.  Daenerys is with IG-88, a baby sandworm, and Mr.PoopyButthole himself.  Noises are beginning to grow loud but it isn’t the singing from before.  Zombies and Orcs begin to flood into the pit causing IG-88 to spring into action and blast them away with ease. 


Daenerys is starting to make sense of what is going on and realizes she isn’t in her world and is in a dream world, but she can’t understand why she isn’t in complete control.  That is until she hears laughter.  None other than Freedy Krueger himself has arrived with Jeff Houslander and Ethan Hunt.  All three who possess the power of a lantern ring.  Ethan Hunt springs into action to try and take down IG-88 as he has just killed his Zombie and Orc comrades.  No matter who they are Ethan Hunt will always defend and honor his own.  Ethan Hunt is surprised when he hears a loud screech but doesn’t understand what it is.  That is until Daenerys Dragon has come to her side to defend its mother.  Jeff Houslander becomes enraged as he sees the odds may be stacked against them and uses the powers of the Red Lantern ring to start whoopin some Dragon ass.  


Baby Sandworm and Mr.Poopybutthole are killed by the utter destruction that is being caused by a battle between Jeff Houslander and Daenerys.  The pit is now engulfed in flames and almost nothing is left.  Ethan Hunt has somehow escaped from the danger as he do and attempts to try and disable IG-88 but it won’t even matter.  The destruction caused by Jeff Houslander who has only grown stronger in this world because of Kruegar has alarmed IG-88 to the point where he sees no other option.  Self destruction is the only defense.  IG-88 walks through the flames into the center of the pit and lets out a scream saying “YUH” self destructs causing everyone in the fight to die. That is in the dream world that is.  Freedy Kruegar has gotten everyone killed in the dream world.


Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Superboy Prime, Tom Brady in the Hulk-Buster Iron Man Suit, Rebel Soldier #1 & 7, Honored Matre #1, and Boomerang Bro #1.


The Dramatic Kittens of Luna are Apocalypse and Michael Myers.

**NOTE**  This match should be read in the dark with a flashlight pointed up at your chin.



It is a dreary, cold, and calm night as a full moon that curiously adds more darkness than illumination  appears over the Pit.  Apocalypse stands tall in an enlarged form, whilst his new horsemen of death Michael embodies everything that is evil with his knife in hand.  A scarier sight has never been witnessed by the tired eyes of this seasoned Watcher than this duo of pure hatred and demonic wickedness.  Matched by this level of ungodliness is a different sin that is evident in their opponent being manifested in the uninhibited hubris of Superboy Prime.  Tom Brady rallies the rest of their troops behind Supes letting them know that they need to back up their star if they are going to have a chance at the frightening pair before them.  Few words are spoken before the action takes place, save these:

"Prepare to face the greatest Kryptonian of all time" says Superboy Prime arrogantly.

"Interesting claim before one battles against the greatest mutant and greatest murderer of all time" is the retort of Apocalypse.  

As Supes takes flight to gain the high ground, Tom Brady leads the charge with his brave soldiers behind him; but Tom is flung aside by a single punch from Apocalypse that sends Tom into an abandoned piece of construction machinery, destroying the equipment, knocking Brady unconscious, and bringing his suit down to 33% functionality.  After seeing their quarterback brushed aside so easily, the commons continue a valiant charge; but the rebel soldiers are brutally ripped apart by Michael, while Apocalypse easily stomps both the Honored Matre and the Boomerang Brother.  Superboy Prime sees this act and decides that as the sole, moving member of the Dino-Mites that it is his time to act.  Having no remorse for the team members he viewed as too weak for this battle defeated he comes down hard on Apocalypse with a double-handed punch.  A pitched battle ensues with Prime absorbing building leveling hits as if they were shots from a child's sling shot, the Kryptonian blasts Apocalypse with a potent shot of heat vision from the air and then swoops in to rip the mutant in half with relative ease.  Bloodlusted beyond anything the Kryptonian has ever experienced, his want for mayhem and death was still nothing compared to that of his next opponent.  Michael slowly walks toward Supes, who uses his arctic breath in an attempt to push him back, but Myers keeps walking through the breeze.  With an evil that is truly magical, Michael grabs Prime by the throat while simultaneously plunging his killing blade through the chest of Superboy Prime killing him as if he were simply another teenage coed.  Myers believes the contest to be over; but Brady's vital signs are still active.  As the former Michigan Wolverine comes to consciousness inside the battered and broken suit made by Tony Stark himself, he hears the voice of Jarvis telling him repeatedly to not be afraid and that he will be safe as long as he stays inside the defensive shell.  Brady shakes off the dizziness and bursts out of the Iron Man Suit with only the giant metal right hand and thrusters still attached to his body.  

"The only thing I fear is losing" exclaims Tom as he blasts the knife from Michael's hand, knocks the monstrous villain to the ground and pulverizes his head with the Hulk-buster fist until the boogie man is no more.

For there is much power in this world, much evil, much might, and much fear; but there is only one G.O.A.T. 

Friday, March 5, 2021

Week 1 Consortium : Affirmative Action Popeyes vs The Midgets

Midgets : Mandalore the Great, Vampire Darth Maul, & Batgirl w/ 2 white lightsabers 


Popeyes are: The x-men, Cyclops, Archangle, Beast,  and Ice Man. 



Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Week 1 Democracy Match: Be Gentle Its My First Time VS Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions

Barkley's Turruble Decisions are : Ween: Gene, Dean, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, and Glen McClelland, Stryke, Haskeer, Coila, Jup, and Alfray.

Gentle is: The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Jason (red) , Billy (blue) , Zack (black) , Kimmberly (pink) , and Trini (yellow) . 


Vote away! 

Sunday, February 28, 2021

The Coach's Corner Conflict: House Elves vs Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets

House Elves: Enfys Nest, Embo, Shao Kahn, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Dobby, White Walker #1, and White Walker #2

Evil Midgets: Vampire Yoda, X-23, Zach and Spence: Woke White Folk from Wakanda, and Nightsister Spirit

The Evil Midgets are teeing off  at twilight on hole 4, when the House Elves being to heckle them to hurry up, but Nightsister Spirit is really struggling to get a grip on the club. Irritated by the voices of the Duck family, X-23 begins to shout back and before both parties are in each others faces, except for Nightsister Spirit, who still can't pick up the club. Things escalated when out of now when Donald Duck began to have a war episode and started blastin. X-23 goes ape shit and shreds Scrooge, Huey, Dewey, and Louie, but Donald jumps on her before Shao Kahn smacks them both, making them into paste for tomorrow's dinner special.

Vampire Yoda (who may or may not be on Ketamine) starts moving around at incredible speed, bouncing and spinning. He makes quick work of Shao Kahn and White Walkers 1 and 2. Dobby has gone over to try and help Nightsister Spirit tee off, but when he realizes that there is no hope for her, he kills her. Zach and Spence use their Wakandan tech to battle with Embo and Enfys. Spence is hit by Embo's Helmet, killing him on the spot, but Zach quickly returns the favor by shooting Embo in the face. Dobby and Yoda being their fight, but Dobby clearly cannot keep up with the (allegedly) drugged up master, who stabs him through the stomach and dumps him in the sand.

Enfys is closing in on Zach, who is fighting on the backfoot to survive. Yoda, flying through the air, attacks Enfys from behind, but begins to sizzle. Spotting his weakness, Enfys launches Yoda in the sky with her power staff. As he burns up, Yoda yeets his lightsaber in the direction of Zach, who catches it and finishes Nest. Zach walks back to George Murphy's, takes a seat and a sigh, and enjoys a club sandwich. 

Preseason: TEAM vs Affirmative Action Popeye’s

 TEAM: Muhammad Ali, Steven Seagal, Ice Bro & Ice Bro, Blake Stone, Princess Toadstool, Ness, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Earthworm Jim, Junkeon #7

Affirmative Action Popeye’s: Crack Frank & Dark troopers #1-5, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank, Migs Mayfield (w/ Robot Gun), Sebastian Shaw, Riggs and Murtaugh, Odd Job, and Sentinel #1


The year is 2040, Mike George has raised the prices on his menu so much that mozz sticks cost $25 for 6 pieces. Both teams have actually come together in unity to rebel against these out of proportioned prices that Mike George has made so he can make the big bucks. People were already enraged when he wanted us to call it ‘cOacH’s cOrnEr’, it will forever be ‘George Murphy’s’ to any cultured person. Now the prices are too much, and both TEAM and Affirmative Action Popeye’s have come together against the common enemy to get what they both deserve, cheaply priced mozz sticks.


Crack Frank and his Dark troopers lead the rebellious charge into George Murphy’s with a very similar looking person, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank, at his side. They are closely followed by Muhammad Ali who has come back to life just for the single purpose to have cheap mozz sticks once again. Trailing behind are the various video game characters from TEAM’s team. Steven Seagal, Riggs, Murtaugh, and Odd Job have become regulars so they were already at the bar when the rebel group charged through the doors. Mike George approaches and is wondering what all the ruckus is about. Crack Frank yells, “WE DEMAND THE PRICES TO BE LOWERED. IT’S OUTRAGEOUS HOW HIGH YOU HAVE MADE THE PRICES!” Mike George responds, “You see, I don’t think I can do that guys, I’ve been making too much money,” as he signals to an empty spot on the wall. And Junkion #7 explodes through the wall and instantly crushes Steven Seagal, Blake Stone, Ness, Earthworm Jim, and Odd Job. Quickly following he picks up Riggs and Murtaugh and rips them both in half. Sebastian Shaw, arriving late, swoops in and is able to completely absorb the gunfire coming from Junkion #7 in which he redirects the energy to implode Junkion #7. 


After Mike George sees he has no more defense to protect him, he concedes. He drops all prices on the menu by 50% and the mozz sticks by 75%. With a mighty loss of true heroes, the greater good of people can still thrive on the lowered prices. All is good again, Crack Frank and Kyle’s Homeboy Frank go to enjoy a round of golf at Fox creek, and the rest of the boys and Princess Toadstool can go enjoy some drinks at the bar. The day has been a true victory…


Sentinel #1’s simulation has reached its end purpose. It was testing how much it would take to get people to rebel against George Murphy’s, and it has learned that mozz sticks are the key component to causing an uprising. Since Sentinel #1 has gained the data necessary, it unplugs all test subjects unsafely and kills all members from both teams.


Saturday, February 27, 2021

Crack Danks Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids

 Crack Danks is The Planeteers:  Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, And Heart, w/ Sachi, Vampire #5-9, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Flying Monkey #1-5, and Beowolf.


Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Storm Trooper #11-16, 18-50, The Ambiguously Gay Duo of Kyle and Conner, Navy SEAL #1-20, Jedi Youngling #1-15, David son of Jesse, and Fire Bro #1.  



It's a beautiful day here this morning at Fox Creek for the First Annual Fantasy Fantasy League Outing.  The Crack Danks crew has just shown up to get their golf on; but little did they know that they had offended the wrong people as they signed up for skins and found their carts.  Some Livonia Karens were lurking around the course taking their purse dogs out for a walk when they noticed that some of the Crack Dankers were smoking cheep cigars without......  >>wait for it<< THEIR MASKS ON!!!!!  Within minutes they had the Mayor on the phone and she deployed an elite team of Statist Storm Troopers and Navy SEALS led by the Ambiguously Gay Duo of Kyle and Conner so the Democrats wouldn't get mad about diversity, while the Republicans were cheering on the thin blue line enforcing law and order.  

Quicksilver takes charge of the Crack Dankers at the first sign of trouble and orders The Planeteers to pull out their rings and do their thing.  EARTH...  WIND...  WATER...  FIRE...  HEART...  With their powers combined they form CAPTAIN PLANET.  Now, Captain Planet may just be nothing more than a creation of a liberal propaganda machine to convince early Millennials to obsess over climate change; but that doesn't change the fact that his powers are legit and that he do be boppin hard.  Captain Planet takes flight and joins the already airborne Quicksilver and Tallyhawk to begin a counter-offensive to the incoming Sith Aids Troops.  Navy SEAL #1 sees the plethora of unmasked people and proclaims:  "NO FACE DIAPERS TWELVE O'CLOCK.  SHOOT TO KILL".

Collateral damage is not an issue when a crime against humanity so severe as not covering your face is happening; which is why the Navy SEALs and Storm Troopers do not hold back, despite numerous "innocents" being present (as if one can be innocent whilst not wearing a mask).  The golf putting green becomes the putting red as the course turned battlefield becomes soaked with the blood of non-rule followers.  

The Planeteers, being fresh out of their gender identity courses in College begin bowing down to Kyle and Conner for their brave choice of being not straight.  Kyle and Conner reward their wokeness by brutally murdering them with their Magic Rainbow Swords.  Luckily they had already summoned Captain Planet, which is the only useful thing about them anyway.  Sachi, hid in Conner's freshly painted pink Mazda for cover from the socially accepted violence.  

David, pulls his slingshot out from his golf bag and starts taking Flying Monkeys out of the sky like a boss with wicked accurate head shots.  Meanwhile, the Storm Troopers and SEALS start lighting up the vamps with their blasters and M4A1s.  This is preseason, so we are going to ignore how they were able to kill the vamps without stakes through the heart or other traditional means (that is what it do Yugi).  

Captain Planet calls Joe Biden and wakes him up in the oval office to get permission to put the Jedi Younglings in cages.  The POTUS approves and they all starve to death in the "Covid protection capsules"; but the media doesn't report on it so it's all good.  

David tosses his golf ball aside and grabs a sharp rock off the ground.  He takes out Talleyhawk with a perfect shot to his neck.  Quicksilver gets straight up furious at the sight of his bird side kick going down and lights up David like it ain't no thang with his Silverhawk skillz.  

The SEALS and Troopers surround Beowolf who many of you may think is the mythological figure from that weird half animated movie from a while back, but it isn't.  It is the enormous human-brained, massive cyborg machine from the Dune Universe (seriously kids, it's cool.  Try turning the TV off and picking up a book every once in a while).  Beowolf, who has remained silent for most of this match is surrounded by the attacking SEALS and Troops, who he annihilates with his lasguns.  

Quicksilver yells to Captain Planet:  "Hey let's double team that Fire Bro".

"Sounds Hot" Conner says, not understanding the situation.

"Talk about it Conner, like:  Don't threaten me with a good time" Kyle says in retort.

 They are then shocked as the Silverhawk leader and Environmental icon destroy the Fire Bro and don't seem to notice when Beowolf steps on them both with his monstrous metal appendages.  

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Preseason Consortium Match Barkleys vs Super Kitties

Barkleys are Lex Luthor, Usagi Yojimbo (w/ a green lightsaber), Donkey Kong, & Dhalsim

Super Kitties are Professor Minerva Mognonagle, Fred Weasly, George Weasly, Baby Ewok #1-10, Space Trooper #1-5, and Crest


Preseason: Dinomites vs. Be Gentle, It's My Third Time

Dinomites: Vampire Larfleeze, Mas, Menos, Ice w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Avatar Alex and Jedi Knight Grayson, Evil Dwarf #1-2


Be Gentle: Punisher w/ Vibranium Suit, Taskmaster w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Chuck Norris, Andrew Jackson, Magic Johnson, Homer Simpson


This match takes place at George Murphy’s/Fox Creek.


Dinomites spot the team Be Gentle outside George Murphy’s in front of the 10th TeeBox. Mas y Menos start out by running at super speeds around the Be Gentle team to try and disorient them. Avatar Alex then starts to use his Avatar farting powers to shoot almost deadly farts at Be Gentle. Taskmaster, annoyed with being trapped inside gas that passed through a mound of feces so he grabs one of the speeding twins and snaps his neck. The other speeding twin, now without his super speed being he’s not in contact with his twin is roundhouse kicked so hard by Chuck Norris that his neck is snapped as well.


Punisher in his Vibranium suit goes on a rampage he hits a headshot on each dwarf with his glock then proceeds to do the same thing to Avatar Alex who is riding his velociraptor and Jedi Knight Grayson who is riding Bop the Dinosaur. Their steeds ran away, horrified as their riders had both perished. Ice slows down the Punisher’s rampage by freezing him in place. 


While this is all happening Vampire Larfleeze is standing underneath the awnings outside George Murphy’s as he fears that the sun will weaken him too much. He does do some help as he hits some energy blasts on Magic Johnson and Andrew jackson, killing both of them. 


Chuck Norris, Taskmaster and a drunk Homer Simpson who just stumbled out of the bar then attack Ice while Vampire Larfleeze tries to hit some energy blasts with his Orange Lantern Ring. Immediately Ice kills both Chuck Norris and Homer Simpson with energy blasts. Taskmaster is easily able to dodge attacks from both Ice and Larfleeze using his superhuman reflexes. 


Taskmaster, realizing the situation, shoots the frozen Punisher who’s wearing a vibranium suit with a weakened energy blast. This melts the frozen Punisher and brings him back into the fight.


Larfleeze sees that the fight is lopsided for Be Gentle, It’s my Third Time and comes out from the shade. Being out in the sun he is immediately weakened by the Sun’s powerful rays. Larfleeze creates a force field around himself because he’s in such great fear. Taskmaster takes advantage of this and shoots a powerful energy blast from his  Lantern Ring, being that Yellow is the color of Fear, this destroys the force field and weakens Larfleeze even more. The Punisher then grabs a golf club from a casual weekend amateur’s golf bag, snaps it over his knee and stabs the severely weakened Larfleeze up under his chin and stares into the eyes of Larfleeze as he watches his soul leave his body.


Ice has decided she’s had enough with The Punisher and shoots him with a blasts from her Star Sapphire ring and kills him. 


Taskmaster and Ice are all that is left standing and they begin to battle. Ice keeps trying to hit Taskmaster with combos of her Ice and Sapphire Ring but Taskmaster is just too keen on the skills of combat. Eventually Taskmaster uses his Lantern ring to shoot multiple energy blasts at Ice, she creates an ice wall to protect herself. Taskmaster knew she would do this and uses it to his advantage. As the energy blasts destroys the ice wall, Taskmaster jumps through behind the energy blasts through a cloud of ice and vapor and stabs Ice through the chest with his Katana. 


Saturday, February 20, 2021

Pre season democracy match.

Acrobatic Assassins are, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander (last life) , Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, Ginaz Sword Master Larry Reamer, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight and Zach Houslander Young Jedi Knight Zach Houslander, Jedi Master Joe Levine, Nightsister Kelly, and Jedi youngling abby. James Bond, Terminator, and Uruk Hai #1-5 (all 5 on last life) .

Striders are, Thorin Oaskenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Oroku Hiroto, Elon Musk, Robert Downey Jr. , and Gondor Soldier #18-20.




Saturday, February 13, 2021

Universe Bowl XI

 *(-4) denotes character is on their last death.


FOREST (Kyle)-

Misunderstood Little People: Link, Harambe, General Luminara (w/ green lantern), Barriss Offee (w/ blue lantern), Mother Talizin (w/ indigo lantern), Nightsister Spirit, Neo (w/ two white lightsabers, -4) and Atrocitus


Dinomites: OwlMan (-4), Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Talon (-4), Darkseid, Dark Supergirl, Johnny Quick (-4) and Power Ring (-4)


This Universe Bowl starts off with Link, Luminara and her Padawan Barriss Offee working together to take on OwlMan. At first OwlMan is holding his own against the trio using a myriad of his Owl themed gadgets and by flying around, dodging force pushes, sword and lightsaber strikes, and lantern abilities. Eventually he hits Link with the OwlMan equivalent of a Batarang right in the chest. Barriss Offee rages (foreshadowing her eventual turn to the darkside) and force jumps up in the air, surrounding him in a force shield with her Blue Lantern Ring and then proceeds to choke him to death. OwlMan eventually falls to his death. Luminara then runs to Link trying to heal him using her force powers but as she is doing that Talon comes out from the bushes and hits her in the carotid artery with a throwing knife.


Neo and Talon recognize each other's martial arts skills and decide to have a fight with no weapons. After a long and tedious fight, eventually Neo wins because he was just too fast for Talon, eventually kicking him in the chest so hard that he flew up into the air and was impaled by a tree branch. 


Barriss Offee, Mother Talizin and Nightsister Spirit then work together to fight Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl. Barriss Offee goes to use her Blue Lantern Ring but is not able to get it to work as she is not filled with hope anymore, but rather hatred. Wonder Girl uses her lasso to wrap up the Nightsister Spirit and channels Zues’ lightning to vaporize the Spirit. Barriss Offee advances towards Wonder Woman with an overhead lightsaber strike. Wonder Woman goes to block it with her sword but the sword stood no chance against the saber as it went right through the sword. As Wonder Woman is dodging a fury of lightsaber strikes from the enraged Padawan, Mother Talizin is dealing with Wonder Girl. She has surrounded herself in a force shield and is shooting her green force lightning strikes at Wonder Girl, but Wonder Girl is too agile for any of them to hit. Mother Talizin then decides to hit Wonder Woman with a lighting strike, this causes Wonder Girl to turn her back and look at Wonder Woman and as she does this Talizin uses her Magick derived lightsaber to stab Wonder Girl in the back, killing her.


Johnny Quick sees that Wonder Woman is struggling with Talizin and Offee so he runs over to help her. Quick runs up to Offee, grabs her and runs up to the tallest pine tree in the forest and impales her through the top of the tree. As he does this he does not realize that he was doing this on Harambe’s tree. Harambe uses his strength to grab Quick and throw him off the tree, killing him. Harambe then climbs down the tree to help Talizin with Wonder Woman. 


Harambe stands no chance to Wonder Woman and eventually she rips his jaw open, killing him. Talizin uses her Magick powers to defend herself but is definitely struggling, just when she is about to lose due to being too tired, a White Lightsaber cuts Wonder Woman in half from head-to-toe. None other than Neo has defeated her. 


UPDATE: Little People have Neo, Mother Talizin and Atrocitus left while Dinomites have Darkseid, Dark Supergirl and Power Ring left. Power Ring sees that Mother Talizin is weak after her fight with Wonder Woman and uses her Ring to shoot an energy blast at Talizin killing her. Atrocitus then begins to attack Power Ring. While this is happening Neo tries to distract Darkseid and Dark Supergirl. Atrocitus and Power Ring have a great battle, but eventually Atrocitus begins to struggle against Power Ring as his power is just too great for Atrocitus. 


Atrocitus yells to Neo “WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO DEFEAT THEM!!!”. Neo nods and they both retreat. Neo heads to the City while Atrocitus goes to space. Power Ring, Darkseid and Dark Supergirl follow Neo to the city.

   



WATER (Kyle) - 

Half-sized Humans: Ganthet (w/ orange lantern ring and dwarf ring #3), Sayd (w/ star sapphire and dwarf ring #4), and Aircraft Carrier containing: Fantastic Max, AB, FX, Salacious B. Crumb, Thundercracker, and Skywarp


Malnourished Extinct Animals: Emperor Joker (w/ green lantern ring; -4), Orange Lantern Lex Luther (-4), Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer (-4), Yellow Lantern Scarecrow (-4) and Aquaman


This battle starts off with Emperor Joker doing whatever he wants (because he’s the Joker with Mr. Mxyzptlk powers). He kills Ganthet and Sayd, but he also kills Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer and Orange Lantern Lex Luthor. 


Aquaman doesn’t want to lose anymore of his teammates so he decides to use his power of telepathy with sea creatures and calls a SMACK! (yes that’s really what it’s called) of Box Jellyfish to repeatedly sting Joker with enough venom in each sting to kill 60 humans.  


All that’s left for the Little People is the aircraft carrier. Thundercracker and Skywarp launch off of the aircraft carrier and begin to engage Yellow Lantern Scarecrow. At first Scarecrow is able to hold his own but his Scarecrow powers don’t work on the Transformers (because they’re robots) and eventually the transformers are just too much for him and they defeat him.


Aquaman then uses a combination of his trident and multiple Pods of Whales to flip the Aircraft Carrier. He then one by one drags each remaining member of the Little People, one-by-one to the bottom of the ocean where they will drown. BECAUSE AQUAMAN BOPS IN WATER. 


Aquaman will meet with the rest of his teammates in the City.  




ARCTIC (Zach) - 

Halflings: Zombie Green Lantern (-4), Vampire Batman, Darth Maul (w/ red lantern ring; -4), Hermes


Famished Ded Animals from Big Rock: Captain America (w/ green and blue lantern rings), Winter Soldier (-4), Shazam, Larry Koopa (w/ ice flower) 


As we pan over to the desolate cold of the arctic, 8 competitors are dropped off, 4 from each side. Winter Soldier is blatantly angered and worried, “Last time I was in a place this cold I fell to what we thought was my death, right Steve... right?” Maul exclaims, “Wait! You fell from a really high place and left for dead, too?” Buck responds, “This dude has some weird markings on him. Can I kill him, Steve?” Maul responds very pissed off, “Excuse me? Do you even know who I am? I was the apprentice to the great sith lord! You nor anyone here can kill me! My hatred for  K E N O B I will keep me alive until I can kill him!” Shazam comes closer and does his little sparky spark thingy and zaps Maul, leaving him limp in the freezing snow. Hermes, son of Zeus, says, “Hey, my dad can do something like that. Have you heard of him, the greek god?” Shazam scoffs, “Zeus? I’m him plus 5 other gods, I’m better than him in every aspect.” The statement outrages Hermes so he grabs Larry Koopa and snaps his neck with his bare hands.


Meanwhile, Vampire Batman has been blending in with his surroundings and sneaks up behind the Dinos and places an explosive diddly do da from his magic belt that somehow always has something for every situation onto Winter Soldier. It explodes and his metal arm is separated from his body while simultaneously killing Winter Soldier. Cap runs to his lifelong friend’s side as his last breath leaves him. Cap announces, “I will AVENGE you,” (cause ya know, can’t save him, he’s gotta let him die so he can do avenging). Cap charges towards the zombie green lantern, who is merely nothing compared to both a green and blue lantern ring, and simply obliterates him into a million pieces. This plays as the perfect distraction for Batman to jump at Cap, but Shazam has been carefully watching and gathers the largest thunderbolt ever and destroys Batman. Unfortunately, Shazam didn’t care too much for Cap so the bolt killed both parties in the act.


Now with two greek legends remaining, only one option is the obvious choice if one were to bet on such events. Hermes, knowing he will lose this fight one on one, decides to pray upon his father Zeus and beg him to send a lightning bolt to revert Shazam back to a mere boy. Zeus does not answer and leaves his son to do his own work. Shazam smirks, “Nice try,” as he super speed rips Hermes in half. Although Zeus wanted his son to fight his own battle, he is still angered in his death and sends down a lightning bolt to which nothing but Billy Batson is left. This is all Maul needed to see to make one final stand, throwing his red saber towards the child and slices Billy’s head clean off. Maul’s hatred for Kenobi kept him alive this long… but no more.



DESERT (Ethan)- 

Midgets: (Lando Calrissean (-4) (pilot), Nien Numb (co-pilot), Lobot (-4) (gunner), & ALF (-4) (rear gunner) in The Outrider), (The Mandalorian (w/ The Darksaber) & The Child (w/ blue lantern ring) w/ Rick (w/ a red lightsaber) & Morty (w/ a flame thrower) in Mando's Ship), Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Mighty Mouse, and Quasar.


Dinomites: General Zod, Ursa, Non (-4)


Zod, Ursa, and Non fly in formation searching for their enemy. The Outrider and the Razor Crest spot the trio a bit out and begin preparing for the first exchange. Lobot and ALF begin the fight by firing their heavy lasers. Zod is hit once, which throws him off his balance and disorients him, but only for a moment. Realizing that their lasers have a reduced effect, they tell Lando to ready a missle. Zod, Ursa, and Non begin flying more erratically now that they are close. The first missile misses its target and airbursts behind the trio, pushing them forward. Both ships dive for the desert hills as the Kryptonians begin badgering their shields with heat vision. Just as they reach the second hill, the Outrider loses an engine, sending it spiraling out of control. Ursa stops to finish off any survivors, while Zod and Non continue the pursuit. 


The shields on the Razor Crest are just about out of power, when Mando gets the ready signal from the rest of his team. As they pass a large stone outcrop, Omega Supreme opens up a large attack on Zod and Non, who are forced to brace. Mando quickly puts down the Crest, and disembarks with the rest of the crew. Non tells Zod to take care of the others, while he holds off the behemoth Autobot. Zod reaches the remainder of the Midgets, who have grouped up. As he plans his next move, Mighty Mouse sneaks over and unleashes a flurry of upper cuts at the same time Quasar begins hounding him from above. Zod evades and grabs Duncan Idaho who is no match for the godlike Zod. Using Duncan as a shield, Zod blocks Morty’s flames, but he is struck by Mando and the darksaber in the arm. Zod becomes disoriented as he is battered and encircled. Ursa, seeing her master in need, begins yelling as she beats Rick and Morty into the sand. Zod quickly gets to his feet, but Quasar grabs him and Mighty Mouse and teleports them further away. Turning to Mando, Ursa moves for the kill, but just as she reaches him, she becomes stuck in place. Mando delivers a killing slice with the darksaber and the child coos.


Zod finally gets his hands on Mighty Mouse and tries to crush him, but the rodent is pushing back with all of his might. Zod overcomes Mighty Mouse, flicking the matter from his hand. Quasar knows he doesn’t stand much against Zod alone, so he signals to Mando to meet him near Omega Supreme and Non, who are still deep in battle. Omega Supreme and Non had both tore up much of the surrounding area by the time anyone else would reach them. Zod gets close to Non and begins helping him in his battle against the Autobot. Zod manages to freeze one of Omega’s arm joints, and Non shatters it. Mando and the Child arrive at the battle, where Quasar explains that one of the Kryptonians must die before Omega or this battle will be lost. The three midgets decide Zod is the best target, as he is the most injured. Quasar entraps Zod in some quantum cage and tries to hold him in place as Mando lunges forward with the Darksaber. Zod uses his heat vision in an attempt to escape, but glasses the surrounding area instead. As the Darksaber makes contact, Zod releases a large blast of energy, but Quasar absorbs much of it, protecting Mando, at the cost of his own life. Mando, the Child, and Omega Supreme manage to kill the last Kryptonian. Omega Supreme, heavily damaged from the battle, powers down after the fight.


SPACE (Kyle) - 

Misunderstood Little People: Falco and R.O.B. in a jedi V-Wing Starfighter, Ratts Tyrelle in Naboo Starfighter, Richie Rich and Dollar Bill in TIE Bomber, Star Fox in ArWing, Star Wolf in ArWing, Peppy Hare in ArWing, Deep Space Nine Command Crew:  Alexander the Great w/ Bucephalus, James Madison (w/ a speed ring (-4)), & Tyrrion Lannister (w/ Dwarf Ring #1 (-4)); piloted by: Vorian Atreides, FA-4, & Slippy Toad and Atrocitus 


Dinomites: Ultraman (-4), Ranx the Sentient City, Wedge in his X-Wing, Biggs in his X-Wing


The Little People see Ranx and decide they need to focus on the Sentient City. So Falco, Ratts Tyrelle, Richie Rich, Peppy Here and Deep Space Nine Command Crew focus on the City. Star Fox and Star Wolf have the Dogfight of a lifetime with Wedge and Biggs. Star Fox and Star Wolf show their impressive flight skills while Wedge and Biggs aren’t as talented pilots but make up for it with how well they know how to work together. 


Eventually Star Wolf gets on Wedge’s Tail and is chasing him through the empty vacuum of space. Wedge calls for help from his partner Biggs and Biggs comes to help as he hits Star Wolf with a Torpedo round destroying his ship. Wedge and Biggs then work together and both get on Star Fox’s Tail. Star Fox shows impressive dodging skills as Wedge and Biggs are trying to hit him with shots but can’t even come close to hitting him. Star Fox sees an opportunity and takes it. He slams on his brakes so that he can get behind Wedge and Biggs, Top Gun style and then proceeds to hit them both with his plasma cannon, defeating them both.


While that was happening Ranx called Ultraman to help. Ultraman goes on a rampage just flying through ships, hitting them with lazers and freezing them so they don’t work. After this rampage is done he’s defeated Falco and R.O.B., Ratts Tyrelle, Richie Rich and Dollar Bill, Peppy Here and Deep Space Nine Command Crew.


Star Fox is left on his own to try and survive against Ranx and Ultraman. Star Fox is very quick in his ArWing and is unhittable from Ultraman and Ranx’s perspective.


As Ranx and Ultraman are focused on trying to defeat Star Fox, Atrocitus comes up from the Forest. He sees that Ranx and Ultraman are focused on Star Fox. He realizes what he must do. He sneaks into the center of the Sentient City and focuses all of his rage onto his Red Lantern Ring. A bright red flash happens, blinding to the eye. 


After several seconds, the bright red flash has disappeared, pieces of the Sentient City are floating all over space and Star Fox’s ship has been destroyed. Ultraman has a metal rod presumably from the explosion right through his chest, he then falls towards the playoff planet and dies from a combination of the metal in his chest and the fall.  


CITY (Chris) - 

White Lantern Yoda (originally:  Yoda's Spirit w/ White Lantern Ring & 5th Ring of the Dwarf Lords)., X-23 (w/ red lightsaber (-4))., Sinestro (w/ yellow and green lantern rings (-4))., Neo (w/ 2 white lightsabers (-4))., Black Lantern Magneto (-4)., Mando with the Dark Saber, The Child with Blue Lantern Ring


Superwoman (-4), Superman Prime, Ronan w/RL Ring (-4), The Flash, Darkseid, Dark Supergirl, Aquaman, Power Ring (-4)


The Mandalorian lands effortlessly in the back streets of the city where the rest of the Midgets have regrouped for the last battle and hands Grogu to WL Yoda. While the two of them communicate using their fancy Jedi telepathy, Mando goes over important strategies with the rest of the team and also discusses why there are so many different colors of lightsabers on this squad. Like seriously, every year I feel like I’m googling a new color of lightsaber or lantern ring. The plan is pretty simple: Leave Yoda and Grogu meditating in the narrow street as bait while the rest of them tuck into doorways and alleyways to sneak attack.


Yoda sets Grogu down carefully and the two face each other, sitting indian style (feather, not dot) and they begin their meditative trance while the Midgets take their places.


Superman Prime is the first to lock onto their location and directs the rest of the Dinomites to follow. As usual, he lands with one of those super gay superhero landings where they are on one knee and looking down. You know, the Kapernick pose. He rises slowly for dramatic effect but literally no one cares. He’s just wasting time and this match is already like 8 months late. He throws a couple quick blasts of heat vision at the little green guys that gets deflected off the protective aura the duo have cast around themselves. Running at top speed, Superman Prime attempts to break through the force field but just as he is about to collide with it, he gets knocked sideways by a construct from Sinestro’s ring as he leaps from the shadows. As the other Dinomites rush in to help, Yoda reaches out deeper with the force and expands the range of his protective bubble, trapping Superman Prime inside where the rest of the Midgets are waiting for their first ambush. 


The Dinomites stand outside helplessly watching as Superman Prime is quickly outnumbered. Ronan and Power Ring use their magic ring thingies to try and penetrate the shield. Supes is defending on multiple fronts and as he attempts to hold off Sinestro and Neo, X-23 leaps from behind and buries her claws in his neck. Superman yells out in pain. He eyes the easiest target and in a final stand, charges Mando knocking him backwards. He rips his helmet off in rage and manages to cave Mando’s skull in before Neo is finally able finish Superman by running him through with his lightsabers. The young Grogu senses the death of his partner and friend and the force bond with Yoda is broken and the Dinomites rush in. 


Aquaman uses his long reach to pierce his trident through the torso of X-23 who falls lifelessly at his feet. He wastes little time before removing the weapon and heaving it through the air towards Neo. Black Lantern Magneto quickly reverses the trident back to the sender, catching the off balance Aquaman perfectly in the side of the head killing him instantly.  


“Woah!” Neo exclaims at his near death experience. 


His relief is short-lived as the Flash knocks him on his ass and Superwoman drops in to swing him around like a rag doll. She uses him as a bat to beat Magneto back and then just slams his limp body into the ground a dozen times like she's beating out an old rug. 


Power Ring uses his… well his ring. That's all he has. He uses his ring to grab the little Grogu and while grasping the little one by his adorable green ears, he pushes his thumbs into those precious little eyes of his and into his brain. 


Yoda is sensing defeat as Dark Supergirl and Superwoman corner Magneto while Ronan and Darkseid descend upon Sinestro. Hoping there is still someone else out there, he channels all of his life force into an ever growing orb of energy in his hands. As the orb continues to grow in size, the light and heat emitting from it are becoming exponentially intense with each passing moment. The Flash takes off just as the orb explodes, destroying everyone and turning every building in the city to rubble. 


Thursday, February 11, 2021

Season 12 Draft List

 1. 5 Fire Benders

2. 5 Water Benders

3. 6 earth benders

4. 4 Air Benders

5. 2 Metal Benders

6. 2 Blood Benders

7. 2 Swamp Benders

8. 2 Sand Benders

9. 2 Combustion Benders

10. Obi Wan Kenobi's Spirit (20)

11. Moff Gideon w/ 5 Phase 3 Dark Troopers (18, 1)

12. Weapon H (55)

13. Team Invincible:  Omni Man, Battle Beast, Invincible, Thrag, & Allen the Alien (20, 80)

14. Luke Skywalker's Spirit (20)

15. Nekron w/ 5 Black Lanterns (40)

16. George Romero w/ 5 Zombies (6)

17. Vlad the Impaler w/ 5 Vampires (15)

18. Zack and Spence:  Woke White Folk from Wakanda

19. The Ambiguously Gay Duo of Kyle and Conner

20. Artifact:  The Asgardian Dolemite

21. Zero Carbon Foot Print Triple Change Go-Bot Ed-Prime

22. Sith Decepticon Cassette Target Master Josh

23. Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom and Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Piplup, Evee, & Detective Pikachu

24. Crack Frank:  CEO & Fast Food Mogul w/ 5 Elite Dank Troopers.

25. Pre-Flood Methusalah Dave Parks 

26. Ethan:  Rabbit-Fish Man Assassin w/ Water-proof Beskar Armor

27. Avatar Alex:  The Last Fart Bender and Velociraptor riding Young Jedi Knight Grayson

28. Bo Katan and her friend (18, 10, 24)

29. Karen Carpenter (6)

30. Revan Reborn (50)

31. Blue Marvel (55)

32. Chip and Dale (4, 6)

33. Literally Ur Ol' Lady (6)

34. Carl Grissom (6)

35. Pete Rose (6)

36. Cara Dune and Greef Karga (12, 12, 22)

37.  3 Air Bending Staffs

38. 5 Mandalorians

39. Mandalore the Great (30)

40. Red lightsaber

41. Green lightsaber

42. double bladed lightsaber

43. 2 Colt 1911 .45 ACP pistols

44. A Covid-19 Gun

45. Trade Federation Droid Control Ship 

46. Joe Biden (600

47. Kamal Harris (6)

48. Kyle Rittenhouse (6)

49. Michael Corvin (28)

50. Jared Nomak (28)

51. Morg (35)

52. The Last Ronin (18)

53. Oroku Hiroto (20)

54. Wendigo (35)

55. Tyndall & Velanna (6, 12)

56. Mud-Butt (10)

57. Magma (35)

58. Chromia (35)

59. Trailbreaker (35)

60. Grapple (35)

61. Red Alert (35)

62. Devcon (35)

63. Tornedron (90)

64. Dion (28)

65. 5 Allicons

66. King Grayskull (40)

67. Roboto (25)

68. Meteorbs:  Cometroid, Comet Cat, Astrolion, Tuskor, & Ty-Gorr (15, 35)

69. Snout Spout (18)

70.  Gabby Kinney (15)

71. Kimura (25)

72. Condiment King (8)

73. Jericho (20)

74. Kid Devil (18)

75. CEC YT-2400

76. A Hammerhead Corvette

77. Lambda Class Shuttle

78. Theta Class Shuttle

79. A Firespray 31

80. A-Wing

81. TIE Interceptor

------------------------------------------- 

82. Orc Combo Pack

83. The Protectobots

84. Nazgul #7's Mordor Horse

85. Treebeard

86. Black Lantern Batman

87. King Kong

88. John Rambo

89. Jedi Knight Combo Pack

90. Bebop and Rocksteady

91. Macho Man Randy Savage

92. Michelangelo Hamato

93. Beast Boy

94. Apocalypse

95. Odin

96. Dick Grayson (Batman) & Damien Wayne (Robin)

97. Vampire Neo

98. Elastigirl & Violet

99. Black Flash

100. Supreme Leader Snoke

101. The Balrog of Moria

102. Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine

103. Mr. Mxyztplk

104. Asajj Ventress w/ Nightsister Acolyte

105. Vampire Green Lantern (common)

106. Yoda

107. Indigo One and Monk

108. Nazgul #9's Mordor Horse

109. Ethan Hunt

110. Geonosian Spy, Geonosian Drone, & Geonosian Soldier w/ ships

111. Zombie Combo Pack

112. Balrog Combo Pack

113. Polaris

114. Arsenal

115. Cyborg Superman

116. Capt. Marvel

117. Wolverine

118. Cybertronian Guardian Combo Pack

119. Goblin Combo Pack

120. Dr. Manhattan

121. SHIELD Agent Combo Pack

122. Rebel Soldier Combo Pack

123. Decepticon Combo Pack

124. Vampire Combo Pack

125. Hammer Bros. Combo Pack

126. Abeloth

127. White Lantern Kyle Raynor

128. Yellow Lantern Combo Pack

129. Terminator Combo Pack

130. Jar Jar Binks

131. Hancock

132. Fedayeen Combo Pack

133. Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor

134. Phibian Combo Pack

135. Sharkticon Combo Pack

136. Salak

137. Steppenwolfe

138. Spinosaurus Combo Pack

139. Riders of Rohan Combo Pack

140. Black Bolt

141. The Guardian Knights

142. Death Trooper Combo Pack

143. White Lantern Batman

144. Strom Trooper Combo Pack

145. Blue Lantern Combo Pack

146. Red Lantern Combo Pack

147. Jedi Master Combo Pack

148. Fremen Combo Pack

149. Cosmic Spider-Man

150. Gondor Soldier Combo Pack

151. John Stewart

152. Non

153. Ronan the Accuser

154. Ultraman, Owlman, Talon, Superwoman, Power Ring, & Johnny Quick

155. Emperor Joker

156. Winter Soldier

157. Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer, & Yellow Lantern Scarecrow 

158. Barris Offee

159. X-23

160. Sinestro

161. Neo

162. Link

163. Darth Maul

164. Black Lantern Magneto

165. Lando Calrissean, Lobot, & Nien Numb

166. ALF

167. James Madison

168. Tyrrion Lannister

169. Zombie Green Lantern (common).




Season 12 Schedule

Pre-Season
At George Murphy's/Fox Creek
100 Points
Prize: A green lantern ring
-TEAM Vs. Affirmative Action Popeye's (Zack)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle It's My Third Time (Kyle)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Democracy)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Ethan)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (consortium)
-Crack Danks Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Josh)

Week 1
At The Pit (from Parks and Recreation)
75 Points
Prize:  A Wiimote and Go-Kart
-TEAM Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Dave)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Crack Danks (Chris)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Frank)
-Be Gentle it's My Third Time Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (democracy)
-Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (consortium)

Week 2
In The City of Detroit, MI
220 Points
Prize:  4 Glocks
-TEAM Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (Chris)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Crack Danks (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (consortium)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Laya)
-Be Gentle it's My Third Time Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Frank)
-Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. George Washington's House Elves (democracy)

Week 3
In and around the lost city of Atlantis (water match)
475 Points
Prize:  An Indigo Lantern Ring
-TEAM VS. Crack Danks (Zack)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Chris)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Alex)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Kyle)
-Be Gentle It's My Third Time Vs. George Washington's House Elves (consortium)
-Affirmative Action Popeye's VS. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (democracy)

Week 4
In Deep Space
600 Points
Prize:  Beskar Armor (including Beskar staff, blasters and jetpack).
-TEAM Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Josh)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Ethan)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (democracy)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Ed)
-Be Gentle it's My Third Time Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (consortium)
-*FAST FOOD ARMAGEDDON* Affirmative Action Popeyes Vs. Crack Danks (Kyle)

Week 5
On The Playoff Planet
800 Points
Prize:  X-Wing
-TEAM Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Ethan)
-*UNIVERSE BOWL REMATCH* Two Hungry Dino-Mite with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Kyle)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Democracy)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (Consortium)
-Be Gentle It's My Third Time Vs. Crack Danks (Josh)
-Affirmative Action Popeyes Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Pogo)

Week 6
At The Southern Air Temple
450 Points
Prize:  TIE Fighter
-TEAM Vs. Be Gentle It's My Third Time (Chris)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes (Frank)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (democracy)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (consortium)
-Crack Danks Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Zack)

Week 7
On the Jundland Wastes of Tatooine
325 Points
Prize:  T-16 Skyhopper
-TEAM Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Josh)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Striders of Rohan (Ethan)
-Affirmative Action Popeyes Vs. Be Gentle It's My Third Time (democracy)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids (consortium)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. Crack Danks (Josh)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)

Week 8
Deep in Fangorn Forest
200 Points
Prize:  Jeep Wrangler
-TEAM VS. The Striders of Rohan (Josh)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes (consortium)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Be Gentle It's My Third Time (Frank)
-George Washington's House Elves VS. Crack Danks (Kyle)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (democracy)
-Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions  (Chris)

Week 9
In The Batcave
55 Points
Prize:  A blue lightsaber and Katana blade
-TEAM Vs. Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Be Gentle It's My Third Time (consortium)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes (Chris)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna (democracy)
-Crack Danks Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Zack)
-Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Dave)