The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Empire
The Kittens are Supergirl, Powergirl, Starfire, Blackfire, Spider-Man, Aphrodite, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnel, and Kickback, Romeo (in a Tanooki Suit), Juliet (in a Gommba Sock), and Gold Dragon #3
The Empire is The Wicked Witch of the West, The Wicked Witch of the East, Flying Monkey #1-10, Gold Member, Mandarin, Red Skull, Korg, Meek, Mole Man, Wario, Mr. Sinister, Crash Bandicoot, Teddy Boy, and The Herculoids: Zandor, Tara, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, and Gleep.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Season X, Week 6 - Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins vs 2 Hungry Dinomites That Have Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins' are: Brainiac, Reverse Flash, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Indigo Lantern #1-2, Ras Al' Ghul, Salak, Ozymandias, The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, Beast Boy, Snape, Nite Owl, Rorschach, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Zombie #1-4
2 Hungry Dinomites That Have Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight are: Superman Prime w/ red lantern ring, Voldemort, Captain America on his motorcycle, Nightwing on his motorcycle, Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, Jango Fett and Jar Jar in a Ornithopter, Ant-Man on a 4-Wheeler, Wasp on a 4-Wheeler, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl w/ the Sword of Light, Ronan The Accusar w/ a red lantern ring, The Ghostbusters in Punishers Van, Red Robin in a Helicopter Suit, The Technobots: Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Nosecone
Ant-Man and the Wasp are rolling down the street on their 4 wheelers following the Technobots when they are met by The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man and Beast Boy. The fighting quickly takes off and Ant-Man and the Wasp shrink down to try and sneak away, leaving the Technobots to all get destroyed.They were almost able to make it as they watched the technobots take out The Chief and Mento when Captain America and Nightwing showed up on motorcycles and squished them both. Cap and Nightwing then easily finished off the fight before racing off to find another battle.
“So tell me more about this ghoul we have to catch.” asked Venkman as the ghostbusters sped along the streets in the Punisher’s van.
“It isn’t A ghoul, its Ras Al’ Ghul” replied Ray annoyed. “And he has a buddy Salaak.”
"Mmm... I like Salad." said Venkman.
Suddenly the car is brought to a halt by Indigo Lanterns #1-2 who stop the car with whatever powers Indigo Lanterns have. The ghostbusters get out and Ray and Venkman take charge at Salaak and Ras Al’ Ghul while Egon and the black one restrain the two Lanterns with their proton packs. Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and Ronan the Accuser swoop in to help their Dinomite teammates and Ethan Hunt, Nite Owl and Rorschach all come into assist the Assassins. Things are looking good quickly for the Dinomites who seem to have this fight under control when Ray and Venkman accidently cross the streams and blow up their car killing everyone in the fight. All of them. Boom. Don’t question it, it happened.
Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop, Snape and Voldemort have some unfinished personal issues to work out when Jar Jar and Jango crash into the building 9/11 style in an Ornithopter. A combination of Jango not being able to appropriately handle the ancient winged technology and Jar Jar just being nearby caused confusion in the cockpit. The ship lands on the two wizards and as the ship goes up in flames killing the 4 of them, debris rains down on the street below killing Red Robin, Ozymandias, and Zombies #1-4.
The final fight pits Brainiac, Reverse Flash, Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian against Superman Prime, Captain America, Nightwing and Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster suit. Nightwing and Tom Brady are “keepin’ up with the J’onzzez” in a sweet fight while Captain America takes out Reverse Flash because he was either running backwards or really slow. I’m not sure because I didn’t actually google him. Maybe he is just a guy who wears his outfit backwards like Kriss Kross. Either way he’s dead. But then Brainiac uses his telekenetic powers or whatever (googled that one) and gets Cap to go rogue and kill Nightwing. Superman sees the betrayal and holds Cap momentarily with his red lantern ring while Tom Brady runs over to kick his american ass. Before he can get there, a beam of heat vision from Martian Manhunter takes the head off the GOAT.
Superman cannot hold Cap with his ring while simultaneously fighting off Brainiac and both Martians. Martian Manhunter and Miss Martin continue to fly around the man of steel causing him to take to the sky and use his ring as a defensive shield against a barrage of energy projectiles. What looked like a slam dunk to win early on in his hometown, Superman Prime is now faced with a tough decision. With Cap now turned against him, the 4 on 1 fight appears to be too much to handle. In a heroic effort to save Cap and himself for another day, he opts to retreat out of the match by taking to the sky.
2 Hungry Dinomites That Have Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight are: Superman Prime w/ red lantern ring, Voldemort, Captain America on his motorcycle, Nightwing on his motorcycle, Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, Jango Fett and Jar Jar in a Ornithopter, Ant-Man on a 4-Wheeler, Wasp on a 4-Wheeler, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl w/ the Sword of Light, Ronan The Accusar w/ a red lantern ring, The Ghostbusters in Punishers Van, Red Robin in a Helicopter Suit, The Technobots: Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Nosecone
Ant-Man and the Wasp are rolling down the street on their 4 wheelers following the Technobots when they are met by The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man and Beast Boy. The fighting quickly takes off and Ant-Man and the Wasp shrink down to try and sneak away, leaving the Technobots to all get destroyed.They were almost able to make it as they watched the technobots take out The Chief and Mento when Captain America and Nightwing showed up on motorcycles and squished them both. Cap and Nightwing then easily finished off the fight before racing off to find another battle.
“So tell me more about this ghoul we have to catch.” asked Venkman as the ghostbusters sped along the streets in the Punisher’s van.
“It isn’t A ghoul, its Ras Al’ Ghul” replied Ray annoyed. “And he has a buddy Salaak.”
"Mmm... I like Salad." said Venkman.
Suddenly the car is brought to a halt by Indigo Lanterns #1-2 who stop the car with whatever powers Indigo Lanterns have. The ghostbusters get out and Ray and Venkman take charge at Salaak and Ras Al’ Ghul while Egon and the black one restrain the two Lanterns with their proton packs. Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and Ronan the Accuser swoop in to help their Dinomite teammates and Ethan Hunt, Nite Owl and Rorschach all come into assist the Assassins. Things are looking good quickly for the Dinomites who seem to have this fight under control when Ray and Venkman accidently cross the streams and blow up their car killing everyone in the fight. All of them. Boom. Don’t question it, it happened.
Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop, Snape and Voldemort have some unfinished personal issues to work out when Jar Jar and Jango crash into the building 9/11 style in an Ornithopter. A combination of Jango not being able to appropriately handle the ancient winged technology and Jar Jar just being nearby caused confusion in the cockpit. The ship lands on the two wizards and as the ship goes up in flames killing the 4 of them, debris rains down on the street below killing Red Robin, Ozymandias, and Zombies #1-4.
The final fight pits Brainiac, Reverse Flash, Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian against Superman Prime, Captain America, Nightwing and Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster suit. Nightwing and Tom Brady are “keepin’ up with the J’onzzez” in a sweet fight while Captain America takes out Reverse Flash because he was either running backwards or really slow. I’m not sure because I didn’t actually google him. Maybe he is just a guy who wears his outfit backwards like Kriss Kross. Either way he’s dead. But then Brainiac uses his telekenetic powers or whatever (googled that one) and gets Cap to go rogue and kill Nightwing. Superman sees the betrayal and holds Cap momentarily with his red lantern ring while Tom Brady runs over to kick his american ass. Before he can get there, a beam of heat vision from Martian Manhunter takes the head off the GOAT.
Superman cannot hold Cap with his ring while simultaneously fighting off Brainiac and both Martians. Martian Manhunter and Miss Martin continue to fly around the man of steel causing him to take to the sky and use his ring as a defensive shield against a barrage of energy projectiles. What looked like a slam dunk to win early on in his hometown, Superman Prime is now faced with a tough decision. With Cap now turned against him, the 4 on 1 fight appears to be too much to handle. In a heroic effort to save Cap and himself for another day, he opts to retreat out of the match by taking to the sky.
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
Week 7
-325 Points in Arrakis
-Deathmatch
-Prizes: Fire Flower, Apache Helicopter, and a Speed Ring
-Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Ahaoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Fizz)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Striders of Rohan (Josh)
-Better Than All of You Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time (Pogo)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Empire (Democracy)
-The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Kyle)
-Deathmatch
-Prizes: Fire Flower, Apache Helicopter, and a Speed Ring
-Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Ahaoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Fizz)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Striders of Rohan (Josh)
-Better Than All of You Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time (Pogo)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Empire (Democracy)
-The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Kyle)
Monday, May 6, 2019
The Gentle First President Vs. The Phoenix Suns
A rotary landline buzzes and rings away while Joshatu waits on the other end of the line.
{RINGGGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGG..........}.........
Pogo: Uhhhhhhhh.... Hel-low.
Joshatu: Why aren't you at your match.
Pogo: Umm, I am. I'm totally here, ready to be a watcher and stuff.
Joshatu: No you aren't. I just called you at home and you answered. Which means you overslept AGAIN and are hanging at your dirt apartment; when you were supposed to be in Metropolis three hours ago. I NEED THIS MATCH WATCHED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!!
Pogo: Yeah. Yeah. I deserved that. Umm, I can be there in an hour or two, I just need a shower and some food, and I need to stop at the Dollar Store for hair gel, but then I can be right over.
Joshatu: Nevermind. You're pathetic. I'll just watch them both.
Pogo: But they'll be going on at the same time. All four teams will be there. That'll be.......
Joshatu: Shut up Pogo. I'll figure it out. I always do.
Barkley's TEAM Vs. The Gentle House Elves
TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Tripticon (w/ Brunt and Full Tilt), Scorpononk (w/ Lord Zarack and Fasttrack), The Constructicons (Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, and Scavenger), Bill Rizer and Lance Beam, Kefka, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and Hammer Bros. #1-4.
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Spectre, Hal Jordan, Al Capone (w/ Power Ring) on a Speeder Bike, Saint Walker (w/ a green lantern ring), Cyborg, Resplendent Man, Lex Luthor, Alan Scott, Skeletor, Robo-Barkley, Fortress Maximus, Star Sapphire, and Terminator #1.
Be Gentle It's My First Time is Doomsday. Zilla, Megalon, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Goku, Goku (w/ a green lantern ring), Steppenwolfe, Green Lantern #1-2, Dr. Conner Weidman (w/ Power Ring) on Allosaurus #1
George Washington's House Elves are Bizarro Superman, Gandalf the Grey, Thor, Godzilla, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Agent Smith, Harry Potter, Dumbledore, and Vampire #5-9.
Superman converses with his former arch-enemy and now de-facto teammate Lex Luthor in their massive fortress set up in the now unrecognizable city of Metropolis.
Superman speaks: “Well Lex, it looks we both have lost already. It was my duty to protect Metropolis and yours to take it over. From what I am seeing Metropolis doesn't even exist anymore”.
Lex retrorts: “On the contrary Kal. Now that we have Tripticon, Fortress Maximus, and Scorpononk combined in the place where the antiquated Metropolis once stood, we will create an Empire far beyond my wildest dreams”.
“Accept for when we are under attack and the city itself must transform to protect itself. Then what happens to the people residing inside”??
“Always the humanitarian Kal. What better protection is there than three city size Transformers?? And now that I have inserted Robo-Barkley into the spark of The Constructicons, Devastator is now faster, stronger, and capable of even more turrible damage when formed. The Washington/Be Gentle Team-up will have to bring more than a few Super-heroes to even make a dent in our defenses”.
**In the outskirts of the city, The Illuminati of the Gentle House Elves meets and formulates their plan of attack**
Gandalf, Dumbledore, Tony Stark, and Dr. Weidman are sitting at a small table in the tent of forward command. “Our actions decided upon here will set a battle in motion that has not been rivaled since the Second Age”. Says Gandalf.
“This is true Gandalf. We must be cautious”. Replies Albus.
Stark pipes in: “I'm not sure what has got the old guys so worried. We got magic coming from them. We have a truckload of giant monsters donated by Dr. Connely over here”.
“That's Conner”. The Paleontologist interrupts.
“Yeah, that's what I said. Conner's big monsters, Magical fruitcakes, some serious heavy hitters, and most importantly: Me. Now let's do this. Plan is simple. The big monsters go in first. The super-strong toughies come next. Then us super-smart dudes rush in and finish this thing. Who's with me”??
Gandalf groans and speaks: “Hmm, I remain critical of your arrogance Mr. Stark, but the plan seems just. This must work”.
“Let us begin. Send the beasts” says Dumbledore.
As planned by The Gentle Elves, the massive group of Kaiju come trouncing into Metropolis, but Luthor has defensive plans of his own. The massive giants of The First Time Washington crew are the first line of offense and are met by another group of giants that are the first line of defense for the Turrible TEAM.
Fortress Maximus, Tripticon, and Scorpononk all begin the process of transforming into massive robot form, while The Constructicons merge to form Robo-Devastator-Barkley. Godzilla clashes with Fortress Maximus, Zilla with Tripticon, Scorpononk with King Ghodira, and Devastator battles with Megalon, while The Cloverfield Monster lends some support to his monster brethren.
Perhaps no where near as large, but just as powerful Doomsday comes onto the scene and begins to search for the character we all know he came to fight, while leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Superman knows this as well and lands before Doomsday ready to do battle with the only being who has really proven to be worth his match. Doomsday and Superman begin to clash as they have before and the contest seems to be just as pitched as it has always been.
Bizarro, Steppenwolfe, Gandalf, and Dumbledore square off agianst Hal Jordan, Skeletor, Alan Scott, and Saint Walker in the center of time square, while Thor, Harry Potter, Iron Man, the Gokus, and Agent Smith fight Kefka, Cyborg, Loki, Resplendent Man, Star Sapphire, and The Spectre on top of The Daily Planet; but the battles quickly meld together and begin to go back and forth.
As battles erupt all over Metropolis, it is nearly impossible to tell which duo of teams is on top. The Spectre proclaims that his powers are god-like, when Thor reminds him that he actually is a god by throwing his hammer threw The Spectre's face. Godzilla kicks Fortress Maximus in the chest and then rips off his right arm while hitting the two head master units of Fortress Maximus with lightning breath. Star Sapphire, Loki, The Collector, and Cyborg run into some trouble when Harry and Dumbledore reunite and hit them with a double-double avada kedavra.
Al Capone boosts his own power level by 15% and mows down some vampires on his speeder bike, but gets a super fast karate chop to the throat from Agent Smith.
As Joshatu the great and powerful spends fifteen minutes staring at his laptop and trying to think of ways to not make Ed and Conner butthurt by showing wicked amounts of love to Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku, he realizes that it is an impossible task and probably shouldn't try so hard. So instead, I will simply acknowledge that they are ridiculously powerful “certified universe destroyers” and that I cannot possibly even understand how powerful they are. As I watch cluelessly, unable to interpret the battle, Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku all die in a spark of cosmic awesomeness. Bill Rizer and Lance Beam on the other hand are totally awesome 80s ripoffs who are amazing characters from an amazing video game; but the Gokus and Kefka are so powerful that their death explosion takes all 30 of the Contra characters lives.
Black Bolt does his best Jar Jar Binks impersonation and slips on a piece of poop and dies.
As the Doomsday and Superman fight rages on, Superboy jumps in and tries to help out the genetic material donor that helped bring him into existence. Doomsday is enraged by the idea that somebody would interrupt the fight he was born for. Superboy simply has not absorbed enough of the rays of the earth's yellow sun. He could not survive the onslaught of Doomsday's flurry of punches and quickly goes down to the might of Doomsday. As Superman rejoins the fight he is now enraged as well. The two green lanterns of Be Gentle attempt to lend a hand to Doomsday, but they are even less successful than Superboy. Superman simply turns his head and blasts the two alien lanterns with heat vision. As the two lanterns die, their two rings instantly fly onto the fingers of Superman and Doomsday who are both fueled by the will to destroy one another.
Tripticon and Zilla's groans and screams are translated into English and we realize they are debating who the better Godzilla rip-off is. But the answer is Tripticon, since he is made of metal and Zilla isn't. This is why Tripticon comes out on top of the fight.
Scorpononk is also made out of metal and fighting a giant monster who is not; but King Ghodhira is “lit” as people younger than me like to say; so the fight goes a little different.
Devastator versus Megalon would have been pretty legit, but with the adding of Charles Barkley's Turrible skills into the mix, the self-proclaimed “Most powerful Decepticon” proves his worth and delivers a massive roundhouse kick to the throat of Megalon that sends him and his mega-metal-rock arms down for the count.
Conner comes riding in on his Allosaurus, which he has named Goku just to make his roster even more confusing and devours all four Hammer Bros. while he maniacally laughs atop his dinosaur steed.
Tyson and Ali are about to square off against Steppenwolfe; but a series of nearby explosions sends them running into an abandoned wharehouse off the docks of Metropolis. “Get in here gorilla, or I'll punch the black off you” says Ali to Tyson as they jump into a large crate for cover. He finishes: “You best listen to me little Mike, I'm the best boxer to ever live”.
Tyson replies: “What?!!? There be billions of boxers better dan you. I'll eat yo children. Praise Allah”.
So they do both praise Allah together. It's a really nice moment. You shoulda been there.
Hal Jordan and Gandalf get in an argument about who is Josh's favorite character in this match and it becomes so intense that both of their heads explode. They do some really cool green lantern and magic stuff beforehand though.
Saint Walker uses his initial blue lantern ring to charge his new green lantern ring to 200%. He flies in fast to take on Agent Smith, but the head of the agents and dissenter of the Matrix system is still too fast for the alien double lantern wielder. Smith is able to break through the energy aura defenses of Saint Walker and vibrate a hand through his chest.
Bizarro may be significantly more powerful than Lex Luthor, but Luthor has proved himself a match for the regular Superman with all of his intelligence many times. Bizarro is a much easier mark. Luthor is able to entice Bizarro into one of his secret Metropolis lairs and hit him with a reverse engineered Kryptonite blast that obliterates the powers of Bizarro and makes him die powerless.
Alan Scott makes a move towards Thor and is able to keep the god of Thunder on the defensive for quite a while with his magical green lantern blasts. But Thor manages to bring the Hammer down on the Golden Age Green Lantern, whose ring shatters as he uses the last of his power to shield himself. Scott, falls down defenseless as Thor leaves to find another opponent.
The Terminator at first shows off his durability against Iron Man, but Tony Stark turns up the heat and blasts the futuristic robot to pieces with a flurry of mini-bot explosives.
Harry and his mentor Dumbledore are combining forces against Skeletor and they seem to have the upper hand. Skeletor does his best to use his powers of Snake Mountain, harnessed through his staff and sword to absorb and repel the attacks of the wizards, but the Hogwart grads turn up the power. As the magic becomes too much for annyone to handle, Resplendent Man rushes in and delivers a power-packed punch to the sword of Skeletor. Resplendent Man is blown back by the force of the explosion, while Dumbledore, Harry, and Skeletor are engulfed in it.
Steppenwolfe does not learn from the mistakes of others and attempts to once again interfere with the fight of Superman and Doomsday. The minion of Darkseid jumps into the center of the heated battle and gets in one good sucker punch on Supes. Superman, exhausted from this epic battle grabs the helmet of Steppenwolfe with one hand and his torso with the other. Steppenwolfe's head is ripped clean off as the battle resumes. But the inevitable moment we have been waiting for is upon us as Superman and Doomsday lean back and level each other with punches that could send a planet off its axis. Doomsday dies instantly, while Superman lies on the ground with his neck broken. The green lantern ring keeps him together for a few moments as the Last Son of Krypton finally unleashses the power held within him. An enormous blast of heat vision erupts from the dying body of Superman that slices the nearby Godzilla in half.
Iron Man flies up behind Dr. Conner and gets him to scurry over behind a collapsing building. “You ready for Plan B buddy”??
Conner retorts: “You definitely did not mention a Plan B”.
“Of course I didn't mention it before. Where did you get that phd from, Schoolcraft?? I didn't mention it before because I just thought of it”. Says Tony.
“Well, what's the plan, super-genius”?? Responds Conner sarcastically.
“We channel Thor's lightning power and we blow up the big monsters”. Says Stark.
Little does Conner and Iron Man realize, but the plan is already underway. Agent Smith has already begun disrupting the circuitry of Tripticon and Devastator by being part of the master code and the two enormous Decepticons are already locked in deathly combat with King Ghodira and the Cloverfield Monster. Luthor senses that Iron Man and Conner have a plan when he approaches the two. Iron Man sends a laser blast through the chest of Luthor while screaming to Thor to “FINISH IT”. Thor swings his hammer wildly and then throws it into the large melee. The monsters and gestalts all go down in a huge mix of power surge.
Resplendent Man sees that even with his Kryptonian derived powers he is no match for the power that has just been displayed. The meek looking native of Metropolis throws the wounded and powerless Alan Scott over his shoulder and grabs the box containing the world's two best boxers as he retreats to safety.....
{RINGGGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGG..........}.........
Pogo: Uhhhhhhhh.... Hel-low.
Joshatu: Why aren't you at your match.
Pogo: Umm, I am. I'm totally here, ready to be a watcher and stuff.
Joshatu: No you aren't. I just called you at home and you answered. Which means you overslept AGAIN and are hanging at your dirt apartment; when you were supposed to be in Metropolis three hours ago. I NEED THIS MATCH WATCHED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!!
Pogo: Yeah. Yeah. I deserved that. Umm, I can be there in an hour or two, I just need a shower and some food, and I need to stop at the Dollar Store for hair gel, but then I can be right over.
Joshatu: Nevermind. You're pathetic. I'll just watch them both.
Pogo: But they'll be going on at the same time. All four teams will be there. That'll be.......
Joshatu: Shut up Pogo. I'll figure it out. I always do.
Barkley's TEAM Vs. The Gentle House Elves
TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Tripticon (w/ Brunt and Full Tilt), Scorpononk (w/ Lord Zarack and Fasttrack), The Constructicons (Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, and Scavenger), Bill Rizer and Lance Beam, Kefka, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and Hammer Bros. #1-4.
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Spectre, Hal Jordan, Al Capone (w/ Power Ring) on a Speeder Bike, Saint Walker (w/ a green lantern ring), Cyborg, Resplendent Man, Lex Luthor, Alan Scott, Skeletor, Robo-Barkley, Fortress Maximus, Star Sapphire, and Terminator #1.
Be Gentle It's My First Time is Doomsday. Zilla, Megalon, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Goku, Goku (w/ a green lantern ring), Steppenwolfe, Green Lantern #1-2, Dr. Conner Weidman (w/ Power Ring) on Allosaurus #1
George Washington's House Elves are Bizarro Superman, Gandalf the Grey, Thor, Godzilla, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Agent Smith, Harry Potter, Dumbledore, and Vampire #5-9.
Superman converses with his former arch-enemy and now de-facto teammate Lex Luthor in their massive fortress set up in the now unrecognizable city of Metropolis.
Superman speaks: “Well Lex, it looks we both have lost already. It was my duty to protect Metropolis and yours to take it over. From what I am seeing Metropolis doesn't even exist anymore”.
Lex retrorts: “On the contrary Kal. Now that we have Tripticon, Fortress Maximus, and Scorpononk combined in the place where the antiquated Metropolis once stood, we will create an Empire far beyond my wildest dreams”.
“Accept for when we are under attack and the city itself must transform to protect itself. Then what happens to the people residing inside”??
“Always the humanitarian Kal. What better protection is there than three city size Transformers?? And now that I have inserted Robo-Barkley into the spark of The Constructicons, Devastator is now faster, stronger, and capable of even more turrible damage when formed. The Washington/Be Gentle Team-up will have to bring more than a few Super-heroes to even make a dent in our defenses”.
**In the outskirts of the city, The Illuminati of the Gentle House Elves meets and formulates their plan of attack**
Gandalf, Dumbledore, Tony Stark, and Dr. Weidman are sitting at a small table in the tent of forward command. “Our actions decided upon here will set a battle in motion that has not been rivaled since the Second Age”. Says Gandalf.
“This is true Gandalf. We must be cautious”. Replies Albus.
Stark pipes in: “I'm not sure what has got the old guys so worried. We got magic coming from them. We have a truckload of giant monsters donated by Dr. Connely over here”.
“That's Conner”. The Paleontologist interrupts.
“Yeah, that's what I said. Conner's big monsters, Magical fruitcakes, some serious heavy hitters, and most importantly: Me. Now let's do this. Plan is simple. The big monsters go in first. The super-strong toughies come next. Then us super-smart dudes rush in and finish this thing. Who's with me”??
Gandalf groans and speaks: “Hmm, I remain critical of your arrogance Mr. Stark, but the plan seems just. This must work”.
“Let us begin. Send the beasts” says Dumbledore.
As planned by The Gentle Elves, the massive group of Kaiju come trouncing into Metropolis, but Luthor has defensive plans of his own. The massive giants of The First Time Washington crew are the first line of offense and are met by another group of giants that are the first line of defense for the Turrible TEAM.
Fortress Maximus, Tripticon, and Scorpononk all begin the process of transforming into massive robot form, while The Constructicons merge to form Robo-Devastator-Barkley. Godzilla clashes with Fortress Maximus, Zilla with Tripticon, Scorpononk with King Ghodira, and Devastator battles with Megalon, while The Cloverfield Monster lends some support to his monster brethren.
Perhaps no where near as large, but just as powerful Doomsday comes onto the scene and begins to search for the character we all know he came to fight, while leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Superman knows this as well and lands before Doomsday ready to do battle with the only being who has really proven to be worth his match. Doomsday and Superman begin to clash as they have before and the contest seems to be just as pitched as it has always been.
Bizarro, Steppenwolfe, Gandalf, and Dumbledore square off agianst Hal Jordan, Skeletor, Alan Scott, and Saint Walker in the center of time square, while Thor, Harry Potter, Iron Man, the Gokus, and Agent Smith fight Kefka, Cyborg, Loki, Resplendent Man, Star Sapphire, and The Spectre on top of The Daily Planet; but the battles quickly meld together and begin to go back and forth.
As battles erupt all over Metropolis, it is nearly impossible to tell which duo of teams is on top. The Spectre proclaims that his powers are god-like, when Thor reminds him that he actually is a god by throwing his hammer threw The Spectre's face. Godzilla kicks Fortress Maximus in the chest and then rips off his right arm while hitting the two head master units of Fortress Maximus with lightning breath. Star Sapphire, Loki, The Collector, and Cyborg run into some trouble when Harry and Dumbledore reunite and hit them with a double-double avada kedavra.
Al Capone boosts his own power level by 15% and mows down some vampires on his speeder bike, but gets a super fast karate chop to the throat from Agent Smith.
As Joshatu the great and powerful spends fifteen minutes staring at his laptop and trying to think of ways to not make Ed and Conner butthurt by showing wicked amounts of love to Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku, he realizes that it is an impossible task and probably shouldn't try so hard. So instead, I will simply acknowledge that they are ridiculously powerful “certified universe destroyers” and that I cannot possibly even understand how powerful they are. As I watch cluelessly, unable to interpret the battle, Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku all die in a spark of cosmic awesomeness. Bill Rizer and Lance Beam on the other hand are totally awesome 80s ripoffs who are amazing characters from an amazing video game; but the Gokus and Kefka are so powerful that their death explosion takes all 30 of the Contra characters lives.
Black Bolt does his best Jar Jar Binks impersonation and slips on a piece of poop and dies.
As the Doomsday and Superman fight rages on, Superboy jumps in and tries to help out the genetic material donor that helped bring him into existence. Doomsday is enraged by the idea that somebody would interrupt the fight he was born for. Superboy simply has not absorbed enough of the rays of the earth's yellow sun. He could not survive the onslaught of Doomsday's flurry of punches and quickly goes down to the might of Doomsday. As Superman rejoins the fight he is now enraged as well. The two green lanterns of Be Gentle attempt to lend a hand to Doomsday, but they are even less successful than Superboy. Superman simply turns his head and blasts the two alien lanterns with heat vision. As the two lanterns die, their two rings instantly fly onto the fingers of Superman and Doomsday who are both fueled by the will to destroy one another.
Tripticon and Zilla's groans and screams are translated into English and we realize they are debating who the better Godzilla rip-off is. But the answer is Tripticon, since he is made of metal and Zilla isn't. This is why Tripticon comes out on top of the fight.
Scorpononk is also made out of metal and fighting a giant monster who is not; but King Ghodhira is “lit” as people younger than me like to say; so the fight goes a little different.
Devastator versus Megalon would have been pretty legit, but with the adding of Charles Barkley's Turrible skills into the mix, the self-proclaimed “Most powerful Decepticon” proves his worth and delivers a massive roundhouse kick to the throat of Megalon that sends him and his mega-metal-rock arms down for the count.
Conner comes riding in on his Allosaurus, which he has named Goku just to make his roster even more confusing and devours all four Hammer Bros. while he maniacally laughs atop his dinosaur steed.
Tyson and Ali are about to square off against Steppenwolfe; but a series of nearby explosions sends them running into an abandoned wharehouse off the docks of Metropolis. “Get in here gorilla, or I'll punch the black off you” says Ali to Tyson as they jump into a large crate for cover. He finishes: “You best listen to me little Mike, I'm the best boxer to ever live”.
Tyson replies: “What?!!? There be billions of boxers better dan you. I'll eat yo children. Praise Allah”.
So they do both praise Allah together. It's a really nice moment. You shoulda been there.
Hal Jordan and Gandalf get in an argument about who is Josh's favorite character in this match and it becomes so intense that both of their heads explode. They do some really cool green lantern and magic stuff beforehand though.
Saint Walker uses his initial blue lantern ring to charge his new green lantern ring to 200%. He flies in fast to take on Agent Smith, but the head of the agents and dissenter of the Matrix system is still too fast for the alien double lantern wielder. Smith is able to break through the energy aura defenses of Saint Walker and vibrate a hand through his chest.
Bizarro may be significantly more powerful than Lex Luthor, but Luthor has proved himself a match for the regular Superman with all of his intelligence many times. Bizarro is a much easier mark. Luthor is able to entice Bizarro into one of his secret Metropolis lairs and hit him with a reverse engineered Kryptonite blast that obliterates the powers of Bizarro and makes him die powerless.
Alan Scott makes a move towards Thor and is able to keep the god of Thunder on the defensive for quite a while with his magical green lantern blasts. But Thor manages to bring the Hammer down on the Golden Age Green Lantern, whose ring shatters as he uses the last of his power to shield himself. Scott, falls down defenseless as Thor leaves to find another opponent.
The Terminator at first shows off his durability against Iron Man, but Tony Stark turns up the heat and blasts the futuristic robot to pieces with a flurry of mini-bot explosives.
Harry and his mentor Dumbledore are combining forces against Skeletor and they seem to have the upper hand. Skeletor does his best to use his powers of Snake Mountain, harnessed through his staff and sword to absorb and repel the attacks of the wizards, but the Hogwart grads turn up the power. As the magic becomes too much for annyone to handle, Resplendent Man rushes in and delivers a power-packed punch to the sword of Skeletor. Resplendent Man is blown back by the force of the explosion, while Dumbledore, Harry, and Skeletor are engulfed in it.
Steppenwolfe does not learn from the mistakes of others and attempts to once again interfere with the fight of Superman and Doomsday. The minion of Darkseid jumps into the center of the heated battle and gets in one good sucker punch on Supes. Superman, exhausted from this epic battle grabs the helmet of Steppenwolfe with one hand and his torso with the other. Steppenwolfe's head is ripped clean off as the battle resumes. But the inevitable moment we have been waiting for is upon us as Superman and Doomsday lean back and level each other with punches that could send a planet off its axis. Doomsday dies instantly, while Superman lies on the ground with his neck broken. The green lantern ring keeps him together for a few moments as the Last Son of Krypton finally unleashses the power held within him. An enormous blast of heat vision erupts from the dying body of Superman that slices the nearby Godzilla in half.
Iron Man flies up behind Dr. Conner and gets him to scurry over behind a collapsing building. “You ready for Plan B buddy”??
Conner retorts: “You definitely did not mention a Plan B”.
“Of course I didn't mention it before. Where did you get that phd from, Schoolcraft?? I didn't mention it before because I just thought of it”. Says Tony.
“Well, what's the plan, super-genius”?? Responds Conner sarcastically.
“We channel Thor's lightning power and we blow up the big monsters”. Says Stark.
Little does Conner and Iron Man realize, but the plan is already underway. Agent Smith has already begun disrupting the circuitry of Tripticon and Devastator by being part of the master code and the two enormous Decepticons are already locked in deathly combat with King Ghodira and the Cloverfield Monster. Luthor senses that Iron Man and Conner have a plan when he approaches the two. Iron Man sends a laser blast through the chest of Luthor while screaming to Thor to “FINISH IT”. Thor swings his hammer wildly and then throws it into the large melee. The monsters and gestalts all go down in a huge mix of power surge.
Resplendent Man sees that even with his Kryptonian derived powers he is no match for the power that has just been displayed. The meek looking native of Metropolis throws the wounded and powerless Alan Scott over his shoulder and grabs the box containing the world's two best boxers as he retreats to safety.....
Sunday, May 5, 2019
Super Kitties VS. John and Vader's House of Sith AIDS
Super Kitties: Supergirl, Darth Traya w/ Red Lantern Ring, The Red Hood, Starfire, Arsenal, blackfire, Mystique, green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Sonic, Tails, Sub-Zero, Iron Giant and Gold Dragon #1
John and Vader’s House of Sith AIDS: The Fallen, Jet Jaguar, Ultraman, Darth Vader w/ Red Lantern RIng, Darth Bane, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, 501st Stormtrooper Division, White Suit Anakin, Stormtrooper #1-50, The Rancor, Snarl, and Death Troopers #1-5
The Super Kitties and John and Vader’s House of Sith AIDS enter the streets of Metropolis precisely at midnight; facing across from one another. The streets clear out after the rumblings of multiple giants walk the streets. They commence their battle. The Fallen leans over to Darth Vader and says “take dat fox looking thing with two tails out.” Vader grunts and moves his hand up. Before Tails has a chance to react, he is force choked to death. This brings sonic into a fit of rage. Spider-Man then shoots a web at the calf of Ultraman and then gives the web to Sonic as he then runs around Ultraman at 3000 Miles per hour and brings him down like an AT-AT. Once Ultraman falls he is then killed by a flurry of energy beams from Starfire and Blackfire. Sonic, still enraged, kills Stormtroopers #1-15 but then falls to the same fate that his friend Tails fell to from Vader.
Black Canary, Green Arrow, Black Widow and Hawkeye see an army of Stormtroopers and Death Troopers in front of them and decide to use their tactical fighting abilities and killing prowess to take out Stormtroopers #16-50 and Death Troopers #1-5 out, but not without losing one of their own. Black Widow sacrifices herself in a very Boromiresque fashion to save Hawkeye from multiple blaster shots.
Supergirl is flying through Metropolis and sees the Rancor terrorizing some of the citizens of the city. She cuts through the Rancor with her heat vision like a knife through butter. She then uses her freeze breath with the help of Sub-Zero to freeze Jet Jaguar into a popsicle. Hawkeye and Green Arrow then both shoot multiple explosive arrows at Jet Jaguar blowing the giant robot into a million different pieces.
Iron Giant and The Fallen then begin to battle causing extensive damage to the many skyscrapers in Metropolis. Iron Giant puts up a good fight, but eventually The Fallen is just too powerful for him and is eventually ripped in half and thrown into Hobb’s River. Supergirl then comes to try and avenge Iron Giant, but she is slapped by The Fallen causing her to fly through one and a half buildings. This only makes her angry as she flies right through The Fallen’s mechanical torso and then rips The Fallen in half to make sure that she gives exact revenge for the Iron Giant.
Anakin, Ahsoka Tano and White Suit Anakin then go on a tear, killing Red Hood, Arsenal and Mystique with ease using their previous chemistry and light side force abilities. Gold Dragon #1 then comes from behind and burns Ahsoka Tano to a crisp. This then causes Anakin to go into a full offensive rage induced attack on the Gold Dragon, Slicing the head off the dragon in one fell swoop. Darth Traya then comes and shoots an energy blast from her Red Lantern ring killing Anakin as he was too enraged too notice that Darth Traya was approaching him.
The Super Kitties have Supergirl, Darth Traya, Starfire, Blackfire, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-Man, Sub-Zero and Hawkeye left standing. While the Sith AIDS have Darth Vader, Darth Bane, White Suit Anakin and the 501st Stormtrooper Division left alive. Green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-Man, Sub-Zero and Hawkeye take on the 501st Stormtrooper Division and win but not without losing Sub-Zero, Spider-Man and Hawkeye to blaster deaths. Supergirl, Darth Traya and the sisters from Tamaran take on the force users. All at once Supergirl uses her heat vision, Darth Traya is shooting an energy beam from her Red Lantern Ring and the Tamaran Sisters are shooting ultraviolet beams at the force users but Vader And White suit Anakin put up a force shield long enough for Darth Bane retreat, as the beams were too powerful to shield out before they ultimately die.
Monday, April 29, 2019
The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
Week 6 Consortium
The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
The Striders of Rohan are Cyborg Superman, King Kong, The Incredibles, Gladiator, Jedi Master #1-8, Ghost Rider, Hancock (w/ a Frog Suit), Circuit Breaker, Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Snoke, Arwen Evenstar (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Elrond, Fremen #1-20, & Red Lantern #1.
Better Than All of You is The Knight King & WWA (The White Walkers), Viserion, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Tatsu, Bebop, Rocksteady, Baxter Stockwell, Jack Reacher, Mike Sroka w/ Laura and James Sroka, Detective Spooner, Sonny (I-Robot), Odd Job and Jaws (Bond villains), Slimer, Guns N' Fuckin Roses: W. Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen (in a Penguin Suit), Steven Adler, and Dizzy Reed, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Red She Hulk, Namor's Griffin, The Rockers: Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty, and The Hart Foundation: Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart.
The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
The Striders of Rohan are Cyborg Superman, King Kong, The Incredibles, Gladiator, Jedi Master #1-8, Ghost Rider, Hancock (w/ a Frog Suit), Circuit Breaker, Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Snoke, Arwen Evenstar (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Elrond, Fremen #1-20, & Red Lantern #1.
Better Than All of You is The Knight King & WWA (The White Walkers), Viserion, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Tatsu, Bebop, Rocksteady, Baxter Stockwell, Jack Reacher, Mike Sroka w/ Laura and James Sroka, Detective Spooner, Sonny (I-Robot), Odd Job and Jaws (Bond villains), Slimer, Guns N' Fuckin Roses: W. Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen (in a Penguin Suit), Steven Adler, and Dizzy Reed, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Red She Hulk, Namor's Griffin, The Rockers: Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty, and The Hart Foundation: Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart.
Week 6 Democracy
The Empire Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People
The Empire is Venom, The Incredible Hulk, The Joker, Harley Quinn, War Machine, The Shredder, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Casey Jones, Keno, Hamato Yoshi, Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa, Putty #2-8, Super Putty #1-5, Knuckles, The Black Queen, Goliath, & Sardakaur Terror Troop #1-11
The Midgets are Mr. Mxyzplkt, Neo, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1 & 2, Omega Supreme, Larfleeze (Agent Orange), Starscream, He-Man & Battle Cat, Darth Maul, Count Dookie & FA-4, Asajj Ventress, & Smurf #1-3.
The Empire is Venom, The Incredible Hulk, The Joker, Harley Quinn, War Machine, The Shredder, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Casey Jones, Keno, Hamato Yoshi, Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa, Putty #2-8, Super Putty #1-5, Knuckles, The Black Queen, Goliath, & Sardakaur Terror Troop #1-11
The Midgets are Mr. Mxyzplkt, Neo, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1 & 2, Omega Supreme, Larfleeze (Agent Orange), Starscream, He-Man & Battle Cat, Darth Maul, Count Dookie & FA-4, Asajj Ventress, & Smurf #1-3.
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Season X Week 5 - Turrible Decisions vs. Super Kitties
Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Spectre, Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, and Quinn, The Borg Queen, Borg #1-10, Boba Fett & Odo (In the Slave 1), Yaddle, Mace Windu, Hal Jordan, Alan Scott , Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Batman in the Golden Age Batmobile, Fortress Maximus, Fortress Maximus's Head, and Fortress Maximus's Head's Head, Deadpool, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides "Maud Dib" , Neo-Cymeks #1-2, Krayt Dragons #1-2, Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Black Manta
Super Kitties are: Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hermione Granger, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, The Red Hood, Arsenal and Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, Darth Traya (w/a red lantern ring), Michael Myers, Splinter, The Protectobots (Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid), Prof. Minerva Mognonagle, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in The Mystery Machine, Bubba Duck, Gold Dragon #1
Things are pretty boring for Arsenal and Mr. Spock in their Snow Speeder. They search the frozen tundra of the Playoff Planet for hours and find nothing. Spock looks over to his right at Gold Dragon #1 who is assisting in the search thinking it might be time to call this off and go assist in the city. Suddenly the alarms go off. Missile Lock! Arsenal has no time to swing the guns around before Boba Fett and Odo in the Slave 1 riddle the hull of their ship with bullets and projectiles and turn it into shrapnel. Gold Dragon gives quick chase but Boba has already adjusted his flight path and as the giant beast pauses to breath out his death, Boba sends a volley of shots into the dragon’s open mouth. Odo, from the co-pilot seat, thinks to himself how majestic this creature looks even in death as it spirals and lands on the frozen surface below.
Much, much further away, closer to the equator, Starfire and her sister Blackfire are dragging themselves through the desert with teammates Michael Myers, Splinter and Darth Traya. Michael is complaining about how hot it is under the mask while Splinter and Traya try to talk him into taking it off to show his real face when suddenly a kindjal is driven through the rat’s chest. Duncan Idaho and Paul Atreides are able to easily sneak up on the Super Kitties because of their stealth like, sand walking abilities. Duncan is able to easily block Michael Myers’ knife attack and finish him off. Paul is having a bit of trouble with the Fire sisters, deflecting their laser blasts with his body shield. Assisting the Barkley team is the NeoCymeks and two Krayt Dragons. Blackfire takes a break from attacking paul to dispatch the two cymeks. While Traya is distracted firing her sabers at Krayt Dragon #1 and killing it, Duncan times his attack at Traya sneaking between her flying lightsabers and beheads her. He then picks up two of her sabers and directs his attack at Blackfire. The sabers are too much for her and as he runs both through the torso of Blackfire, Starfire fills with rage and is able to kill Duncan from the side. Paul uses this chance to gain the upper hand on Starfire and slashes her throat. Paul then mounts the Krayt Dragon (Targaryen Style) and flies away.
“Quack Quack” says Bubba Duck shortly before he is in the middle of a huge robot fight in the water. It’s hard for me to tell who is killing who as it’s just metal all around and I don’t know anyone’s names but in the end, Bubba Duck is dead along with all the protectobots for the Super Kitties and Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor and Tentakil for Barkleys. Fortress Maximus emerges from the fight dazed and The Red Hood quickly offs his head (and his head’s head). The Black Manta burns a hole in the chest of Red Hood as a thank you for killing his teammate. Saint Walker floats over to pick up the Blank Manta in a cool green boat he constructed with his GL Ring when the sky suddenly rains bullets down on them. Polaris and Scarlet Witch light them both up and their bodies fall to the bottom of the sea.
Polaris and Scarlet Witch take to the sky and meet up with the battle already happening in space. The Spectre and all the Q’s (Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q and Quinn) have been battling Supergirl and Powergirl. Black Widow is able to kill The Borg Queen (which deactivates Borgs #1-10) before helping with the Spectre/Qs battle. Polaris and Scarlet Witch circle the Q’s in their V-wings and the overwhelming about of girl power on display from the Super Kitties, somewhere Kathleen Kennedy is smiling. The Spectre sees them on the edge of defeat and sacrifices himself and his Q buddies to explode in a tremendous force of energy that kills everyone in space.
“Yoinks a doinks, Scoob. I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this one!” exclaims Shaggy as the Mystery Machine tears down the street in the city section of the playoff planet. With Fred at the wheel, they are locked in a tight game of chicken opposite Batman who is coming head on in the Golden Age Batmobile. The crime solving team shouts encouraging words to Fred, urging him not to slow down or change course. He obliges his friends and they all pay with their lives as the Batmobile tears the hippie van apart like tissue paper. Spiderman shoots a web onto the windshield of the Batmobile and Hermione uses a spell to move a dumpster into the road. Batman hits the dumpster and the car deflects into a nearby building killing Batman on impact because he’s a normal dude and normal people die in car crashes. Hades falls to a Mace Windu lightsaber attack while Hermione, professor Mogonagle, Neville Longbottom and the older Weasley brothers return the favor to the Barkley’s with a flurry of green flashes uttering the incantation that is normally reserved for he who shall not be named. But this is war, and war requires good people to toss out a killing curse every once in a while. Also falling to the killing curse are Yaddle, and fellow green lanterns Hal Jordan and Alan Scott. Paul Atreides is able to come in and torch the five wizards and witches with his Krayt dragon before being knocked off his perch and falling to his death along with the dragon. The fire consumes the crew from Hogwarts and Deadpool shows up to make sure the job is finished with a few quick slashes of his swords.
Spiderman hears Abeloth groan and die at the hands of Deadpool who turns and looks at Spiderman. These final two in the city stare each other down briefly before Spiderman ensnares Deadpool with a web and hangs him from a lamppost.
“Got anything clever and inappropriate to say now?” taunts Peter Parker.
“Sorry you lost…” says Deadpool as Spiderman’s explodes.
“Took you long enough!” Deadpool says now directing his words at Boba Fett who is perched on the top of a nearby building.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Week 6
-450 points in Metropolis
-Prizes: A Zombie bite, a cape feather, and a Yellow Lantern Ring.
-Retreat Week
Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time
-Two Hungry Dinomites With Bubble Fighting Fun down Tight Vs. Asia's Acrobatic Assassins
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
-The Empire Vs. The Misunderstood Hetero-Phobic Tall H8TERZ
-Prizes: A Zombie bite, a cape feather, and a Yellow Lantern Ring.
-Retreat Week
Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time
-Two Hungry Dinomites With Bubble Fighting Fun down Tight Vs. Asia's Acrobatic Assassins
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
-The Empire Vs. The Misunderstood Hetero-Phobic Tall H8TERZ
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle it's My First Time
The Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Darkseid, General Zod, Ursa, Non, Ranx the Sentient City, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl (w/ The Sword of Light), Aquaman, Booster Gold, The Flash (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Jay Garrick (w/ a green lantern ring), Kaliback, Desaad, Bub, Bob, Bib, Beb, Teebo, Ewok Warrior, Chief Chirpa (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Logray, Ewok Elder, Wicket (w/ a Racoon Leaf), Ewok Scout (w/ a Frog Suit), Gilleus Thunderhead, Tyrius Flare, Ax-Battler, Capt. America on his Motorcycle, Nightwing on his motorcycle, Evil Dwarf #1, Honored Matre #1, Jar Jar Binks, and all 30 members of the Shining Force.
Be Gentle it's My First Time is The Sinister Six: Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Electro, Mysterio, Vulture, and Sandman, Doomsday, Omni King Zeno, Zues, Hera, Prof. Xavier, Granny Goodness and The Female Furies, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Atom (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Beerus: god of Destruction, Zilla, Megalon, Carnage, and Steppenwolfe.
Sup guys, Neon Master Pogo here. Joshatu originally was going to watch both matches this week, cuz he was all like: “Hey Pogo, this is the big week; so I really need the matches to be well written and serious. Not just some garbage with a bunch of poop jokes in it”.... But then Ol' Joshatu the Stuffy ran out of time and brought me in anyhow; so......... Get ready for poop-joke filled garbage.
Darkseid is not happy that some of his minions are bold enough to stand against him for the other team. Most of all his soldier Steppenwolfe. Darkseid allows Steppenwolfe to attack, but there isn't even enough time for a poop joke. Darkseid is unaffected by the attacks of Steppenwolfe and kills him with ease.
Ranx the Sentient City is up in the atmosphere flinging cosmic poop, but Omni King Zeno and Beerus counter with super saiyan anime poop causing them all to meld together and explode into a smell that causes them to join each other in death and destroys the nose of every person living on the Playoff Planet.
Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl square off against Granny Goodness and her crew of Female Furies and the fighting gets intense. They are all over-exerting themselves creating a plethora of girl farts, which as you probably know are way worse than boy farts. Wonder Girl uses the Sword of Light to cast Bolt 2 and kill Bernadeth, but most of the furies go down through regular old melee fighting. Granny herself is able to take out Wonder Girl with a special blend of fighting prowess and potent old lady fart-power; but once Wonder Girl falls, the enraged Wonder Woman kills the rest with ease.
In the depths of the ocean, the only place where one can't smell the aftermath of Ranx's rankness, Aquaman is making bubbles of his own. Zilla swims up, but Aquaman takes control of the massive Kaiju and makes him eat fish that are bad for his stomach. Zilla then gets water-fish-dysentary and poops himself to death. Zues gets annoyed with the O.P. nature of Aquaman in the water and borrows some power from his little brother Poseidon. Mixed with his own lightning power, he boils the ocean and kills Aquaman who gets to smell his fart bubbles dry briefly for the first time before he dies.
Black Atom Vs. The ring-wielding Flashes had no poop involved in it at all, so I don't have much to say about it. Black Atom and Flash died. Jay Garrick lived for now.
The Shining Force face off against a three headed evil dragon, like they always do; but this time it is King Ghodira instead of Dark Dragon. King Ghodira is able to blow some serious fire (from his mouths, not his butt) and take out 19 members of the Shining Force, but Max follows the script and sacrifices himself by plunging the Chaos Breaker into the heart of Dark Dragon err, I mean King Ghodira, and then casts his Egress spell to save the rest of his team. They are so happy to be alive that they all poop themselves.
Jar Jar Binks slipped on a piece of poop and died.
The Cloverfield Monster eats Kaliback and Desaad and then naturally poops them out. Bub, Bob, Bib, and Beb collect the magic poop as an item and get special poop bubbles that they shoot at Hera. Hera is so offended by this action that she suicides herself, but takes the poopy dinosaurs to Hades with her. The Cloverfield Monster then attacks the Golden Axe crew and kills Tyrius and Ax-Battler. But before she dies, Tyrius casts her level 6 magic and summons a dragon that melts the Cloverfield Monster into something that smells almost as bad as The breath of the Bubble Bobble dudes.
Megalon stomps the ewoks into goo that looks like hairy little piles of poop (like after a an animal eats another animal and you find the crap in the woods). But it isn't poop, it's just dead ewok.
General Zod, Ursa, and Non know about the problems that Superman has had with Doomsday, so they decide to triple team him. And by triple team him, I mean they hit him with a real “1,2,3 punch”. Ursa pees on him, Zod poops on him, and Non poops and pees on him. Doomsday goes nuts and manages to crush the skulls of both Ursa and Non, but with the diversion they cause, Zod is able to finish him off. Zod flies away as the bodies of Doomsday. Ursa, and Non all lose control of their bowels.
Captain America and Nightwing on their bikes, Booster Gold, Gilleus Thunderhead, The Evil Dwarf, and Honored Matre square off against The Sinister Seven (Carnage included). But the nearby lightning storm from the Zues Wonder Woman battle a little ways away scares Megalon so bad, that he loses his bunghole grip and sprays poo all over the battlefield. Only Gilleus, Nightwing, Cap, Electro, Carnage, and Vulture survive the Hershey Squirt onslaught.
Zeus finishes his fight with Wonder Woman by putting a lightning bolt through her eye and ensures that we have smelled and heard the last girl fart of the match. Darkseid gets revenge for his frenemy Wonder Woman by taking a power dump down Zeus' throat.
Zod blows his powerful breath at the pile of Megalon feces which sends toxic poop icicles into the skull of Carnage.
Jay Garrick then begins running around the massive poop pile so quickly that it creates a poop tornado strong enough to kill Megalon once the particles go up his nostrils and infect his Kaiju brain.
Cap and Nightwing have to clean poop speckles off of their shield and birdarangs so they can throw them straight, but once they do, they manage to hit both Electro and Vulture with killing blows to the temple.
Professor Xavier is so offended by this grotesque and terribly written match that he loses control and mindblocks Dakseid, Zod, and Jay Garrick, although the power of the three overpowers his mutant brain causing it to explode out of his head and making his butt explode wet turds into his wheelchair.
As the match comes to a close Captain America turns to his partner Nightwing and says: “Poop”.
Be Gentle it's My First Time is The Sinister Six: Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Electro, Mysterio, Vulture, and Sandman, Doomsday, Omni King Zeno, Zues, Hera, Prof. Xavier, Granny Goodness and The Female Furies, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Atom (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Beerus: god of Destruction, Zilla, Megalon, Carnage, and Steppenwolfe.
Sup guys, Neon Master Pogo here. Joshatu originally was going to watch both matches this week, cuz he was all like: “Hey Pogo, this is the big week; so I really need the matches to be well written and serious. Not just some garbage with a bunch of poop jokes in it”.... But then Ol' Joshatu the Stuffy ran out of time and brought me in anyhow; so......... Get ready for poop-joke filled garbage.
Darkseid is not happy that some of his minions are bold enough to stand against him for the other team. Most of all his soldier Steppenwolfe. Darkseid allows Steppenwolfe to attack, but there isn't even enough time for a poop joke. Darkseid is unaffected by the attacks of Steppenwolfe and kills him with ease.
Ranx the Sentient City is up in the atmosphere flinging cosmic poop, but Omni King Zeno and Beerus counter with super saiyan anime poop causing them all to meld together and explode into a smell that causes them to join each other in death and destroys the nose of every person living on the Playoff Planet.
Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl square off against Granny Goodness and her crew of Female Furies and the fighting gets intense. They are all over-exerting themselves creating a plethora of girl farts, which as you probably know are way worse than boy farts. Wonder Girl uses the Sword of Light to cast Bolt 2 and kill Bernadeth, but most of the furies go down through regular old melee fighting. Granny herself is able to take out Wonder Girl with a special blend of fighting prowess and potent old lady fart-power; but once Wonder Girl falls, the enraged Wonder Woman kills the rest with ease.
In the depths of the ocean, the only place where one can't smell the aftermath of Ranx's rankness, Aquaman is making bubbles of his own. Zilla swims up, but Aquaman takes control of the massive Kaiju and makes him eat fish that are bad for his stomach. Zilla then gets water-fish-dysentary and poops himself to death. Zues gets annoyed with the O.P. nature of Aquaman in the water and borrows some power from his little brother Poseidon. Mixed with his own lightning power, he boils the ocean and kills Aquaman who gets to smell his fart bubbles dry briefly for the first time before he dies.
Black Atom Vs. The ring-wielding Flashes had no poop involved in it at all, so I don't have much to say about it. Black Atom and Flash died. Jay Garrick lived for now.
The Shining Force face off against a three headed evil dragon, like they always do; but this time it is King Ghodira instead of Dark Dragon. King Ghodira is able to blow some serious fire (from his mouths, not his butt) and take out 19 members of the Shining Force, but Max follows the script and sacrifices himself by plunging the Chaos Breaker into the heart of Dark Dragon err, I mean King Ghodira, and then casts his Egress spell to save the rest of his team. They are so happy to be alive that they all poop themselves.
Jar Jar Binks slipped on a piece of poop and died.
The Cloverfield Monster eats Kaliback and Desaad and then naturally poops them out. Bub, Bob, Bib, and Beb collect the magic poop as an item and get special poop bubbles that they shoot at Hera. Hera is so offended by this action that she suicides herself, but takes the poopy dinosaurs to Hades with her. The Cloverfield Monster then attacks the Golden Axe crew and kills Tyrius and Ax-Battler. But before she dies, Tyrius casts her level 6 magic and summons a dragon that melts the Cloverfield Monster into something that smells almost as bad as The breath of the Bubble Bobble dudes.
Megalon stomps the ewoks into goo that looks like hairy little piles of poop (like after a an animal eats another animal and you find the crap in the woods). But it isn't poop, it's just dead ewok.
General Zod, Ursa, and Non know about the problems that Superman has had with Doomsday, so they decide to triple team him. And by triple team him, I mean they hit him with a real “1,2,3 punch”. Ursa pees on him, Zod poops on him, and Non poops and pees on him. Doomsday goes nuts and manages to crush the skulls of both Ursa and Non, but with the diversion they cause, Zod is able to finish him off. Zod flies away as the bodies of Doomsday. Ursa, and Non all lose control of their bowels.
Captain America and Nightwing on their bikes, Booster Gold, Gilleus Thunderhead, The Evil Dwarf, and Honored Matre square off against The Sinister Seven (Carnage included). But the nearby lightning storm from the Zues Wonder Woman battle a little ways away scares Megalon so bad, that he loses his bunghole grip and sprays poo all over the battlefield. Only Gilleus, Nightwing, Cap, Electro, Carnage, and Vulture survive the Hershey Squirt onslaught.
Zeus finishes his fight with Wonder Woman by putting a lightning bolt through her eye and ensures that we have smelled and heard the last girl fart of the match. Darkseid gets revenge for his frenemy Wonder Woman by taking a power dump down Zeus' throat.
Zod blows his powerful breath at the pile of Megalon feces which sends toxic poop icicles into the skull of Carnage.
Jay Garrick then begins running around the massive poop pile so quickly that it creates a poop tornado strong enough to kill Megalon once the particles go up his nostrils and infect his Kaiju brain.
Cap and Nightwing have to clean poop speckles off of their shield and birdarangs so they can throw them straight, but once they do, they manage to hit both Electro and Vulture with killing blows to the temple.
Professor Xavier is so offended by this grotesque and terribly written match that he loses control and mindblocks Dakseid, Zod, and Jay Garrick, although the power of the three overpowers his mutant brain causing it to explode out of his head and making his butt explode wet turds into his wheelchair.
As the match comes to a close Captain America turns to his partner Nightwing and says: “Poop”.
The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins
The Striders of Rohan are The Guardians of the Galaxy: Starlord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket, Nebula, Mantis, Yondu, and Kraglin in The Benatar, Apocalypse, Capt. Marvel, John Stewart, Blue Lantern #1-2, Red Lantern #1-2, Wolverine (w/ a red lantern ring), Adam Warlock, Seaworm #1-9, Sandworm #1-2, Ghost Rider, Circuit Breaker, Hancock (in a Frog Suit), The Balrog of Moria, Gandalf the White, Blue Wizard #1 & 2, Samwise Gamgee, Gondor Soldier #1-15, Nazgul #2 w/ his Fell Beast, Jedi Master #1 in Anakin's Starfighter, Admiral William Kelley & Jedi Master #2 in a AT-AT, King Kong, Jedi Master #3 & 4 in an AT-AT, Jedi Master #5 & 6 in an AT-AT, and Jedi Master #7 in a Stealth X-Wing.
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Dr. Manhattan, The Father, Son, and Daughter of Mortis, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Brainiac, Vision, Reverse Flash, Franklin Richards, The !2 Guardian Knights, The Witch King of Angmar and his Fell Beast, Poseidon, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Revan, Ras Al' Ghul, Havoc, and White Lantern Zachary Houslander.
Michigan Vs. Ohio State, The Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, USA Vs. The USSR, TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips. A Watcher of my stature knows a great rivalry when he sees one. And although this one just may be just beginning, it definitely has the makings of an epic rivalry built into it. Let us begin:
King Kong, has not been on the Playoff Planet long; but he has already established himself as the dominant force within the eco-system of the forest. His dominance is in question though, once The 12 Guardian Knighs make an appearance and start terrorizng the area. They merge to form Dragonstorm and begin to search the area for the large gorilla rumored to be in these parts. King Kong leaps down in front of the Transformer Gestalt, but Dragonstorm blasts him in the chest with some lasers. Kong is blown back, and badly injured but manages to escape away to a cave he had discovered earlier.
The Witch King of Angmar, through his mental connection to the other Ringwraiths easily tracks down his fellow Nazgul in the jungle. Nazgul #2 draws his sword, but both of them know how the battle will play out. The Witch King is the leader of the Ringwraiths for a reason and easily dispatches Nazgul #2. After the former King of man dies, his Fell Beast lands next to the Witch King and lowers himself in hopes for forgiveness. The Witch King pets the creature, but then runs him through with his sword as he must with his enemies.
Brainiac and Vision have set up a fortress laboratory in the heart of the city, but Apocalypse shows up to disrupt their research. Apocalypse has brought Circuit Breaker with him, but the young woman has no idea what her teammate has in store for her. As the two Striders stride into the Assassin base, they are greeted with arrogant quips from Brainiac. Vision stands ready for an attack from the fierce Apocalypse, but that wasn't necessarily the one he should be worried about. Apocalypse grabs his own teammate Circuit Breaker and rips her in half flinging both parts of her into Vision, frying the circuits of The Avenger. Apocalypse then begins to grow in size in preparation for his battle with Brainiac. Brainiac begins to power up for the battle as well and states: “I can handle any kind of fight big guy, but you should know that brains always beat brawn”. Apocalypse grows even larger and says: “That's what smart guys always say before I beat the Hell out of them”. Brainiac then moves towards the ever growing Apocalypse, but the ancient mutant delivers a fist that crushes Brainiac into the ground. Apocalypse then picks up a table from the laboratory and smashes it over Brainiac before stomping in the head of his opponent with his massive foot.
Deep in the depths of the Playoff Planets Ocean, lies the formidable water crew of the Striders. Nine Seaworms circle the area, while Hancock swims gracefully watching them in his Frog Suit. He mumbles to himself: “I could be flyin around the skies, tearin up the city right now; but I'm floatin down here in my Frog Suit. That's aight tho. I'm just the frog suit guy now. That's who I am”. Poseidon shows up alone, but is a water team all by himself. He begins to do battle with the massive Seaworms, but quickly starts to tame them into his control. Hancock sees his not-so-bright teammates begin to switch sides and is not too happy about it. “OH HELL Naw. Hey (*&^)&)(* What chu doin to my worms pal”?!!? Hancock screams at Poseidon.
Poseidon responds: These worms are in this sea, and everything in this sea now belongs to me”.
Hancock shakes his Frog-eared covered head and says: “How about we do Plan B instead?? I stick you up a Seasworm's butt and then another Seaworm eats that seaworm before the first seaworm poops you out”.
Poseidon is incredulous to the words of his opponent and says: “What a ludicrous statement, especially coming from a silly boy dressed as a frog. I am a god, you cannot possibly do battle with me”.
Hancock, now furious states: “BOY. BOY IN a FROG SUIT!! I'm a MAN IN A FROG SUIT *(^)(&^&(%”.
Hancock then levels Poseidon with a punch that would send a semi-truck airborne. Poseidon recovers and begins swimming back towards Hancock to retaliate, but Hancock is ready for him. Hancock tells him that: “Ya know, way back in the day people thought I was a god too, now here in modern times they just know Ima bada**” Hancock tackles Poseidon who begins pounding on the super-hero as they move back into the circle of seaworms. Hancock realizes that he can't make good on his promise, because the seaworms don't really seem to have butts. But Hancock instead attempts to throw Poseidon into the open mouth of the seaworm. Hancock is successful, but Poseidon refuses to let go, which sends both combatants through the razor sharp teeth of the seaworm. The two high-powered combatants are both swallowed by the seaworm, but such a massive amount of power is contained with them, that the other worms cannot help but be drawn to it. The worms converge around the power source and eat each other until the power is no more.
White Lantern Zack Houslander is flying around the city loving his white lantern ring. He is learning how to do mid-air flips and is looking extra cool in his super tight, bright white shirt complete with the white lantern emblem and his short white shorts to show off his wicked awesome calf muscles. He stumbles upon an old man with a staff, also dressed in white and says: “Sup Bruh, you must be on the other team. We should do battle. My name's Zack. I'm a White Lantern and kind of a big deal; so I'm probably gonna mess you up Homeboy”.
The old man removes his hood and says: “Hmm, my name's Gandalf young man. Gandalf the White. There are many magical rings in this universe. There power should not be taken lightly. But I am beginning to get the impression that you don't have a clue as to how to actually use the power within that white ring”.
“Yeah right Dogg, you see me flying around, don'tcha”?? “I got this White Power thing on lockdown”. He starts to trail off..... “Crap. White Power, that sounds kinda racist when I say it like that. I need to come up with something better than that. I don't need those kind of labels if I'm gonna be a wicked gnarly superhero”.
But, while Zack is contemplating how to describe himself in a politically correct manner, Gandalf raises his staff and sends a white light in the direction of Zack that slices him in half.
Off near a secluded pond, Ras Al Ghul sits pondering how he can become master of this new planet he has been thrust upon, when he hears someone stealthily approaching. He greets his visitor who introduces himself as Wolverine. “Welcome Wolverine, I see you have come alone. That is both brave and noble of you, but forgive me for saying that it is also very foolish. You see, I have been around for many, many years and have had the best challengers. And nobody has ever been able to defeat me in one on one combat”.
Wolverine retorts: “Well Bub, I gotta say that that just ain't the truth. Cuz you see Bub, I've been around a long time too. And you ain't fought me yet”.
Ras, then produces a sword, while Wolverine pops his claws with a “SNIKT” and the fight commences. Ras is able to connect with a few sword swipes to Wolverine's arms, but they quickly begin to heal. Wolvie then manages to break the defenses of the master assassin, slicing off the right hand of Ras with his left claws and stabbing him in the neck with his right claws. Wolverine retracts his claws and continues on to the next battle.
Back in the forest, hidden under a large outcropping of trees is the wounded and frightened King Kong. He is licking his wounds, when he is all of the sudden overcome with a glimmer of hope. The two Blue Lanterns fly towards Kong and speak to him. Kong's dialect may be very primitive, but the blue OA rings translate everything and make the giant ape and the alien lanterns completely understand each other. The Lanterns begin to explain that the team needs Kong as they gently heal his wounds with their powers. Over the horizon, Dragonstorm is wrecking the two AT-ATs driven by Jedi Masters #3-6. The huge Transformer has already punched the Stealth X-Wing out of the sky and blasted Anakin's starship with lasers. Dragonstorm stands triumphant over a mess of Star Wars vehicles. King Kong has been brought back to 100% physically and wants to attack; but is too frightened by the metal monster. Blue Lantern #1, gently pets the back of the large head of Kong to bring back the hope that was lost. He speaks to the Ape and says: “Your healing is almost complete, but the next step must be done by you”. The Blue Lantern points in the direction of Dragonstorm and says: “We have healed your body, now you need to kick his A**”. With that bit of encouragement, King Kong leaps out from behind the trees and delivers a surprise upper-cut to Dragonstorm knocking him on his back. The gestalt gets back up and a massive brawl of massive beings ensues. Dragonstorm hits Kong with some building-leveling blows, but the ape fights through them and delivers a series of punches to the face and chest of Dragonstorm. The Transformer begins to smoke and malfunction, when Kong hits him with a powerful kick to the midsection, which breaks the gestalt apart and extinguishes its spark.
As all these side skirmishes come to a close an enormous battle with the remainder of forces is about to commence in the Desert.
Starlord speaks into the com of his ship: “Hey boss, looks like everything is set for the final attack”.
Admiral Kelley answers: “Alright Quill, let's hope what we have left is enough to take out what they have left”.
The Witch King may have proved himself superior in his battle against his fellow Nazgul; but isn't quite the nastiest thing Middle Earth has to offer. This was proven when The Balrog of Moria used his huge whip to strangle the undead life from the Wraith.
The Doom Patrol takes on the Gondor Soldiers and Samwise. The Middle Earth swordwielders manage to take out their leader The Chief, but can't do much else against the high-powered team and they all fall to their super-powers.
Capt. Marvel flies in fast; but Dr. Manhattan uses his powers of time manipulation to send her back to the 1980s when nobody cared about female super-heroes causing her to become irrelevant and disappear. John Stewart manages to catch the Reverse Flash with a green energy mesh barrier that contains his speed force for a few moments causing him to vibrate into nothingness. Dr. Manhattan sees this impressive display of power and realizes that he must send John Stewart all the back to the 1950s before they cared about black super-heroes.
The Red Lanterns, Blue Lanterns, and Blue Wizards all try and team up against The Mortis Family, but they can't seem to overpower the mastery of Force balance wielded by them.
Havoc hits The Benatar with some solar energy making it spin out of control, but all of its inhabitants eject to safety and begin battling with The Doom Patrol. Beast Boy turns into a T-Rex and eats Kraglin and Mantis, but is then pounded to death by Drax. Robotman cracks the metal skull of Nebula, but is similarly broken to bits by Gamora. Yondu catches Negative Man going back into his body with his whistle wand thingie, but not before Negative Man gets into the body of Drax to disrupt his organs and kill him. Yondu then attempts to do the same to Mento, but Mento uses his powers to send the arrow right back at Yondu through his heart. Starlord gets revenge by blasting Mento repeatedly with both of his blasters. Elasti-girl grows to giant size crushing Gamora, but Rocket and Groot manage to knock her off balance and finish her off.
The two enormous sandworms come lunging out of the ground, and when Dr. Manhattan sees them, he instantly realizes that they cannot be defeated in this territory. He uses his powers to teleport the sandworms to his home on Mars, where they can either die or create a new Dune. Adam Warlock sees this amazing display of power and takes advantage of Manhattan when he is at least slightly weakened from such a feat. Adam uses his cosmic power to revert Manhattan back to human form just for a few seconds, which is long enough for Adam to project an energy blast into him and kill him.
Revan manages to get out of the way of the flaming motorcycle heading towards him, just in time to slice the head off of Ghost Rider. He then manages to Force Leap onto the back of the AT-AT cut his way inside with his purple lightsaber and kill Jedi Master #2 before he even realizes that he was there. Bill picks up his Jedi buddy's lightsaber and ignites it, but is not successful in his attack on Revan. The AT-AT crashes to the ground as Revan leaps back out of it.
Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian are taking on Starlord, Rocket, and Groot with relative ease, when Apocalypse joins the fight proclaiming that he is “the most powerful mutant ever”. Franklin Richards hears this and says: “That's cute” as he mind-blocks Apocalypse killing him instantly. Without the help of Apocalypse, the remainder of the Guardians fall to the might of the Martians.
Franklin is pretty proud of himself after taking out Apocalypse, but hubris gets him as he doesn't see the huge foot of The Balrog crushing him.
Revan rejoins the battle, but is caught off guard by a red energy laced claw from Wolverine, who then moves in quickly and dispatches Miss Martian the same way. An infuriated John Johnz gets revenge by breaking the lantern ring and ripping Wolverine's head clean off.
As the battle comes to a close, the exhausted combatants from each side give one final push. The Son of Mortis delivers a force generated sword through the heart of King Kong, who was in the middle of squeezing the life out of Martian Manhunter.
Gandalf in a last ditch effort consumes the power of The Balrog of Moria that originally helped him gain his new found power as Gandalf the White in order to battle the combined powers of the Mortis family, as they easily dispatch Adam Warlock. Only Gandalf stands for the Striders against the Father, Son, and Daughter, and Havoc, who attempts to take cover behind a huge boulder. Gandalf channels the ancient power of both him and the Balrog and vanquishes the Force user in one massive explosion which kills them, but also powers up Havoc to capacity. Screaming in pain, Havoc must unleash the force he has absorbed and uses it blast the weakened Gandalf to pieces.....
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Dr. Manhattan, The Father, Son, and Daughter of Mortis, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Brainiac, Vision, Reverse Flash, Franklin Richards, The !2 Guardian Knights, The Witch King of Angmar and his Fell Beast, Poseidon, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Revan, Ras Al' Ghul, Havoc, and White Lantern Zachary Houslander.
Michigan Vs. Ohio State, The Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, USA Vs. The USSR, TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips. A Watcher of my stature knows a great rivalry when he sees one. And although this one just may be just beginning, it definitely has the makings of an epic rivalry built into it. Let us begin:
King Kong, has not been on the Playoff Planet long; but he has already established himself as the dominant force within the eco-system of the forest. His dominance is in question though, once The 12 Guardian Knighs make an appearance and start terrorizng the area. They merge to form Dragonstorm and begin to search the area for the large gorilla rumored to be in these parts. King Kong leaps down in front of the Transformer Gestalt, but Dragonstorm blasts him in the chest with some lasers. Kong is blown back, and badly injured but manages to escape away to a cave he had discovered earlier.
The Witch King of Angmar, through his mental connection to the other Ringwraiths easily tracks down his fellow Nazgul in the jungle. Nazgul #2 draws his sword, but both of them know how the battle will play out. The Witch King is the leader of the Ringwraiths for a reason and easily dispatches Nazgul #2. After the former King of man dies, his Fell Beast lands next to the Witch King and lowers himself in hopes for forgiveness. The Witch King pets the creature, but then runs him through with his sword as he must with his enemies.
Brainiac and Vision have set up a fortress laboratory in the heart of the city, but Apocalypse shows up to disrupt their research. Apocalypse has brought Circuit Breaker with him, but the young woman has no idea what her teammate has in store for her. As the two Striders stride into the Assassin base, they are greeted with arrogant quips from Brainiac. Vision stands ready for an attack from the fierce Apocalypse, but that wasn't necessarily the one he should be worried about. Apocalypse grabs his own teammate Circuit Breaker and rips her in half flinging both parts of her into Vision, frying the circuits of The Avenger. Apocalypse then begins to grow in size in preparation for his battle with Brainiac. Brainiac begins to power up for the battle as well and states: “I can handle any kind of fight big guy, but you should know that brains always beat brawn”. Apocalypse grows even larger and says: “That's what smart guys always say before I beat the Hell out of them”. Brainiac then moves towards the ever growing Apocalypse, but the ancient mutant delivers a fist that crushes Brainiac into the ground. Apocalypse then picks up a table from the laboratory and smashes it over Brainiac before stomping in the head of his opponent with his massive foot.
Deep in the depths of the Playoff Planets Ocean, lies the formidable water crew of the Striders. Nine Seaworms circle the area, while Hancock swims gracefully watching them in his Frog Suit. He mumbles to himself: “I could be flyin around the skies, tearin up the city right now; but I'm floatin down here in my Frog Suit. That's aight tho. I'm just the frog suit guy now. That's who I am”. Poseidon shows up alone, but is a water team all by himself. He begins to do battle with the massive Seaworms, but quickly starts to tame them into his control. Hancock sees his not-so-bright teammates begin to switch sides and is not too happy about it. “OH HELL Naw. Hey (*&^)&)(* What chu doin to my worms pal”?!!? Hancock screams at Poseidon.
Poseidon responds: These worms are in this sea, and everything in this sea now belongs to me”.
Hancock shakes his Frog-eared covered head and says: “How about we do Plan B instead?? I stick you up a Seasworm's butt and then another Seaworm eats that seaworm before the first seaworm poops you out”.
Poseidon is incredulous to the words of his opponent and says: “What a ludicrous statement, especially coming from a silly boy dressed as a frog. I am a god, you cannot possibly do battle with me”.
Hancock, now furious states: “BOY. BOY IN a FROG SUIT!! I'm a MAN IN A FROG SUIT *(^)(&^&(%”.
Hancock then levels Poseidon with a punch that would send a semi-truck airborne. Poseidon recovers and begins swimming back towards Hancock to retaliate, but Hancock is ready for him. Hancock tells him that: “Ya know, way back in the day people thought I was a god too, now here in modern times they just know Ima bada**” Hancock tackles Poseidon who begins pounding on the super-hero as they move back into the circle of seaworms. Hancock realizes that he can't make good on his promise, because the seaworms don't really seem to have butts. But Hancock instead attempts to throw Poseidon into the open mouth of the seaworm. Hancock is successful, but Poseidon refuses to let go, which sends both combatants through the razor sharp teeth of the seaworm. The two high-powered combatants are both swallowed by the seaworm, but such a massive amount of power is contained with them, that the other worms cannot help but be drawn to it. The worms converge around the power source and eat each other until the power is no more.
White Lantern Zack Houslander is flying around the city loving his white lantern ring. He is learning how to do mid-air flips and is looking extra cool in his super tight, bright white shirt complete with the white lantern emblem and his short white shorts to show off his wicked awesome calf muscles. He stumbles upon an old man with a staff, also dressed in white and says: “Sup Bruh, you must be on the other team. We should do battle. My name's Zack. I'm a White Lantern and kind of a big deal; so I'm probably gonna mess you up Homeboy”.
The old man removes his hood and says: “Hmm, my name's Gandalf young man. Gandalf the White. There are many magical rings in this universe. There power should not be taken lightly. But I am beginning to get the impression that you don't have a clue as to how to actually use the power within that white ring”.
“Yeah right Dogg, you see me flying around, don'tcha”?? “I got this White Power thing on lockdown”. He starts to trail off..... “Crap. White Power, that sounds kinda racist when I say it like that. I need to come up with something better than that. I don't need those kind of labels if I'm gonna be a wicked gnarly superhero”.
But, while Zack is contemplating how to describe himself in a politically correct manner, Gandalf raises his staff and sends a white light in the direction of Zack that slices him in half.
Off near a secluded pond, Ras Al Ghul sits pondering how he can become master of this new planet he has been thrust upon, when he hears someone stealthily approaching. He greets his visitor who introduces himself as Wolverine. “Welcome Wolverine, I see you have come alone. That is both brave and noble of you, but forgive me for saying that it is also very foolish. You see, I have been around for many, many years and have had the best challengers. And nobody has ever been able to defeat me in one on one combat”.
Wolverine retorts: “Well Bub, I gotta say that that just ain't the truth. Cuz you see Bub, I've been around a long time too. And you ain't fought me yet”.
Ras, then produces a sword, while Wolverine pops his claws with a “SNIKT” and the fight commences. Ras is able to connect with a few sword swipes to Wolverine's arms, but they quickly begin to heal. Wolvie then manages to break the defenses of the master assassin, slicing off the right hand of Ras with his left claws and stabbing him in the neck with his right claws. Wolverine retracts his claws and continues on to the next battle.
Back in the forest, hidden under a large outcropping of trees is the wounded and frightened King Kong. He is licking his wounds, when he is all of the sudden overcome with a glimmer of hope. The two Blue Lanterns fly towards Kong and speak to him. Kong's dialect may be very primitive, but the blue OA rings translate everything and make the giant ape and the alien lanterns completely understand each other. The Lanterns begin to explain that the team needs Kong as they gently heal his wounds with their powers. Over the horizon, Dragonstorm is wrecking the two AT-ATs driven by Jedi Masters #3-6. The huge Transformer has already punched the Stealth X-Wing out of the sky and blasted Anakin's starship with lasers. Dragonstorm stands triumphant over a mess of Star Wars vehicles. King Kong has been brought back to 100% physically and wants to attack; but is too frightened by the metal monster. Blue Lantern #1, gently pets the back of the large head of Kong to bring back the hope that was lost. He speaks to the Ape and says: “Your healing is almost complete, but the next step must be done by you”. The Blue Lantern points in the direction of Dragonstorm and says: “We have healed your body, now you need to kick his A**”. With that bit of encouragement, King Kong leaps out from behind the trees and delivers a surprise upper-cut to Dragonstorm knocking him on his back. The gestalt gets back up and a massive brawl of massive beings ensues. Dragonstorm hits Kong with some building-leveling blows, but the ape fights through them and delivers a series of punches to the face and chest of Dragonstorm. The Transformer begins to smoke and malfunction, when Kong hits him with a powerful kick to the midsection, which breaks the gestalt apart and extinguishes its spark.
As all these side skirmishes come to a close an enormous battle with the remainder of forces is about to commence in the Desert.
Starlord speaks into the com of his ship: “Hey boss, looks like everything is set for the final attack”.
Admiral Kelley answers: “Alright Quill, let's hope what we have left is enough to take out what they have left”.
The Witch King may have proved himself superior in his battle against his fellow Nazgul; but isn't quite the nastiest thing Middle Earth has to offer. This was proven when The Balrog of Moria used his huge whip to strangle the undead life from the Wraith.
The Doom Patrol takes on the Gondor Soldiers and Samwise. The Middle Earth swordwielders manage to take out their leader The Chief, but can't do much else against the high-powered team and they all fall to their super-powers.
Capt. Marvel flies in fast; but Dr. Manhattan uses his powers of time manipulation to send her back to the 1980s when nobody cared about female super-heroes causing her to become irrelevant and disappear. John Stewart manages to catch the Reverse Flash with a green energy mesh barrier that contains his speed force for a few moments causing him to vibrate into nothingness. Dr. Manhattan sees this impressive display of power and realizes that he must send John Stewart all the back to the 1950s before they cared about black super-heroes.
The Red Lanterns, Blue Lanterns, and Blue Wizards all try and team up against The Mortis Family, but they can't seem to overpower the mastery of Force balance wielded by them.
Havoc hits The Benatar with some solar energy making it spin out of control, but all of its inhabitants eject to safety and begin battling with The Doom Patrol. Beast Boy turns into a T-Rex and eats Kraglin and Mantis, but is then pounded to death by Drax. Robotman cracks the metal skull of Nebula, but is similarly broken to bits by Gamora. Yondu catches Negative Man going back into his body with his whistle wand thingie, but not before Negative Man gets into the body of Drax to disrupt his organs and kill him. Yondu then attempts to do the same to Mento, but Mento uses his powers to send the arrow right back at Yondu through his heart. Starlord gets revenge by blasting Mento repeatedly with both of his blasters. Elasti-girl grows to giant size crushing Gamora, but Rocket and Groot manage to knock her off balance and finish her off.
The two enormous sandworms come lunging out of the ground, and when Dr. Manhattan sees them, he instantly realizes that they cannot be defeated in this territory. He uses his powers to teleport the sandworms to his home on Mars, where they can either die or create a new Dune. Adam Warlock sees this amazing display of power and takes advantage of Manhattan when he is at least slightly weakened from such a feat. Adam uses his cosmic power to revert Manhattan back to human form just for a few seconds, which is long enough for Adam to project an energy blast into him and kill him.
Revan manages to get out of the way of the flaming motorcycle heading towards him, just in time to slice the head off of Ghost Rider. He then manages to Force Leap onto the back of the AT-AT cut his way inside with his purple lightsaber and kill Jedi Master #2 before he even realizes that he was there. Bill picks up his Jedi buddy's lightsaber and ignites it, but is not successful in his attack on Revan. The AT-AT crashes to the ground as Revan leaps back out of it.
Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian are taking on Starlord, Rocket, and Groot with relative ease, when Apocalypse joins the fight proclaiming that he is “the most powerful mutant ever”. Franklin Richards hears this and says: “That's cute” as he mind-blocks Apocalypse killing him instantly. Without the help of Apocalypse, the remainder of the Guardians fall to the might of the Martians.
Franklin is pretty proud of himself after taking out Apocalypse, but hubris gets him as he doesn't see the huge foot of The Balrog crushing him.
Revan rejoins the battle, but is caught off guard by a red energy laced claw from Wolverine, who then moves in quickly and dispatches Miss Martian the same way. An infuriated John Johnz gets revenge by breaking the lantern ring and ripping Wolverine's head clean off.
As the battle comes to a close, the exhausted combatants from each side give one final push. The Son of Mortis delivers a force generated sword through the heart of King Kong, who was in the middle of squeezing the life out of Martian Manhunter.
Gandalf in a last ditch effort consumes the power of The Balrog of Moria that originally helped him gain his new found power as Gandalf the White in order to battle the combined powers of the Mortis family, as they easily dispatch Adam Warlock. Only Gandalf stands for the Striders against the Father, Son, and Daughter, and Havoc, who attempts to take cover behind a huge boulder. Gandalf channels the ancient power of both him and the Balrog and vanquishes the Force user in one massive explosion which kills them, but also powers up Havoc to capacity. Screaming in pain, Havoc must unleash the force he has absorbed and uses it blast the weakened Gandalf to pieces.....
House Elves vs Epicene Miniature Homonids
The
House Elves: Gandalf the Grey (w/ Elven Ring), Thor, Set, Bizarro
Superman, Godzilla, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Crystal,
Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, The Unspoken, Colosus, Luke Skywalker (in Luke's
Stealth x wing), Harry Potter (on Quiddich Broom), Sandworm #1-#5, Juggernaut,
Agent Smith, T-1000, Dumbledore, Corbin Dallas, Santa and his reindeer, and Seaworm
#10
Epicene Miniature Homonids: Yoda (w/a White Lantern Ring), Magneto, Mr. Mxyztplk, Larfleeze
(Agent Orange), Link, Neo, Omega Supreme, He-Man and Battle Cat, Thundercracker,
Skywarp, Black Lantern Batman, The Combaticons (Onslaught, Brawl, Blast-Off,
Swindle, and Vortex), Han Solo (pilot), Chewbacca (co-pilot), Peppy Hare
(gunner), & Slippy Toad (rear gunner) in a Y-1300 Light Freighter, Lando
Calrisean (pilot), Nien Numb (co-pilot), Lobot (gunner), & Alf (rear
gunner) in The Outlaw, Gamera, Mighty Mouse, Emperor Palpatine w/ Royal Guard
#1-2, Air Zonk w/ Power Dump and Astra, Quasar, Dean Cain in an AT-RT, Terri
Hatcher (w/ a Power Ring and Star Wand).
A Brief History of the FFL
Many years ago an argument began between two combatants. Like so many
fools before them, they each thought that they were the greatest warrior in the
universe. They planned a fight to determine who the best was. Word spread of
the fight, and soon others wanted in. Chaos spread throughout. Many believed
themselves the champion but none lived long enough to gloat.
Amongst the chaos arose a man. This man referred to himself as the “Commish”.
The “Commish” had a plan to bring order to the universe. He brought all of the
combatants together by forming a “league”. In this “league” there were
“schedules” and “playoffs”. The dead were even paid respects in the
“graveyard”. Although no one could single handedly claim victory, they could be
part of something that legitimately could make that claim. For the benefit of
all, he brought peace through war.
That is the official story.
While most combatants are happily fighting for their team, hoping to
win the first ever universe bowl, they are unware that they have been here
before.
But what does this have to do with this week’s match? The playoff
planet is the key to everything. This is where the strongest engage in the
biggest battles. This is for all of the glory, nothing is held back. That is
the playoff planet’s purpose, although it is not its entire purpose.
Some have become aware that this is not the league’s first incarnation.
The great reset, as they have been told, was for the betterment of the league.
Many prominent figures had fallen and some questioned if this was still truly
the “best of the best” that were fighting. In the interest of strengthening the
league, all were brought back and again given fair shot of becoming champions.
The Playoff Planet’s Basement
What is not talked about is what happened before the great reset.
Although it can be difficult to see a teammate parish, it is understood that
the fight is for the greater good and as such there will be inevitable losses.
There began a rise in reports of ghosts of fallen comrades. These
ghosts only appeared on the playoff planet and were only ever those who had
moved on to the “graveyard”.
While the time of their appearance and which team they reached out to
vary greatly, their message was always the same. Their souls and powers had
been harvested by something from within the planet, for a much more sinister
motive. They anguished over having fought their battles and pleaded with their
former teammates to stop.
Players began to question the league. Some became hesitant in battle,
others deserted. Many questioned the decision to continue using the playoff
planet and requested a full investigation into the planet. Why must the playoff
planet ALWAYS be a death match when outside of the playoffs? The league was
beginning to unravel.
Obviously, this is bad for business and as a solution the league was
reset.
While there are many whispers around the league of its previous incarnation,
none know for certain who is behind the playoff planet or what their motives
are.
“Master Yoda, the enemy is
approaching.” yells Neo, breaking Yoda’s concentration. “We need to get ready,
they will be here soon.”
“More time I must have.” Replies
Yoda. “Uncovered something more important than this battle, I have.”
Harry Potter and Dumbledore are gallivanting
around on Harry’s Quiddich
broom (I assume that is what those books/movies are about) when they are
knocked off from lasers blasts by Skywarp and Thundercracker. Bizarro Superman,
who is flying nearby, decides that rather than saving his falling teammates he
will instead fly through the transformers. He then feels shots in his back as
he sees Air Zonk, Power Dump, and Astra flying towards him. He uses his flame
breath to incinerate the three.
Meanwhile, Han and company fly
into the desert, followed closely by Lando’s crew, along with Dean Cain in his
AT-RT
“Alright Chewie, let’s do this!”
Han says as they take the Millennium Falcon er, I mean Y-1300 close to ground
level. The sandworms begin popping out of the sand, narrowly missing their
target. Peppy and Slippy begin gunning the sandworms behind them, while Alf and
Lobot shoot them from the Outlaw. One by one the Sandworms fall dead into the
sand.
“Yeah, we did it!” exclaims Han
as he and Chewie celebrate. Just then another Sandworm pops out and consumes the
Outlaw and everyone on board, as well as Dean Cain and his AT-RT.
“Who was counting?!” screams Han
as the ship turns around and guns down the remaining sandworm.
“No time to mourn, we need to
meet up with the others.” As they fly off.
Gamera and Quasar head out into
the ocean. Gamera dives deep comes out with a seaworm in his hands. Quasar moves
in to blast apart the seaworm. Both Quasar and Gamera turn as they hear the
distinctive roar of Godzilla as he emerges from the water. Before either can do
anything Godzilla unleashes his atomic ray disintegrating Quasar and blowing a
hole through Gamera. Godzilla lets out another roar as he moves to regroup with
his team.
The House Elves regroup.
“I’ve found the bunker they are
hiding in.” Says Iron Man. “Follow me.”
As the House Elves approach they
see Magneto standing alone, seemingly anticipating them.
“You can stop right there.” Says Magento
Rather than have one of those conversation
that happen right before all of the action happens Iron Man tries to catch him
off guard by zipping in for the attack. Magneto stops him only inches away.
“Valiant effort, Iron Man.”
Magneto says before redirecting him back towards his team while launching all
of his weapons at them. They take out Medusa, Gorgon, and Karnak while Iron Man
explodes into Godzilla. Omega Supreme moves in on the damaged Kaiju finishing
him off. Magneto's teammates emerge from the bunker quickly scattering and engaging the enemy.
Another one of Iron Man’s
missiles nearly hits the Y-1300. Chewie lets out a roar and Han gets excited,
until they hear Luke over the intercom.
“Han, old pal. I’m glad I got to
see you before you died this time.” Says Luke just a moment before his proton
torpedo blows up the Y-1300 and everyone inside.
Lockjaw doesn’t see any cats
around so he skips a step in the circle of life and runs after might mouse, who
becomes a mighty fine meal for him.
Santa lands his sleigh on the
ground near He-man and Battle Cat. Battle Cat begins mauling the reindeer while
He-man swings away at Santa, cutting off limbs and fatally wounding him. He-man
looks down at the dead Santa and reindeer to see it coming together and
reforming into a person who looks just like He-man. Catching him off guard T-1000
sticks his replicate straight into the heart of He-man.
From within his bunker, Yoda
hears faints noises of explosions and gunfire as he slips back into his
meditative state.
The key is at the beginning
The originators of the FFL were not just two random fighters as many
think. They were in fact very calculated in their actions. While both are very
skilled they knew that they would not be able to take on the universe
themselves, it is simply too big with too many powerful beings. Instead, they
manufactured and instigated fights amongst the others creating the chaos. They
realized that others could do all of the work for them and they wouldn’t have
to lift a finger.
“Tell me who they are, you must!”
pleads Yoda
Who do you think would have the
most to gain? Who are the two highest ranking members of this league?
“No, true it cannot be. The owners
of these two teams. Lead us to death they would not.” Says Yoda
Actually, you are right.
“What?!?!” exclaims Yoda.
Mr. Mxyztplk appears out of nowhere.
“I’ve been making this up as I go.” Replies My Mxyztplk.
“You sit there with such a serious face and listen intently to everything I
say. I just couldn’t help it.”
“Why me? Your own teammate you have betrayed!”
asks Yoda.
“Oh believe me, I tried Luke first. He wouldn’t
listen, just wanted to run off and save his friends. You know about that, don’t
you?”
“Yes!” exclaims Yoda as his light saber ignites
through Mr. Mxyztplk.
“Oh, now that is good!” before his limp body
falls to the ground.
Yoda runs outside to meet up with his team.
He sees destruction everywhere as
he scans for survivors. In the distance he sees Luke landing his x-wing. Nearby
he hears the maniacal laugh of Emperor Palpatine.
“Hahahahahaha! They will soon be
done!” laughs Palpatine as Luke approaches.
“Luke, surrender you must. Outmatched you are. Let you go we
will.” Says Yoda.
“Master Yoda, you know better than anyone that is not my
nature.” Replies Luke as he ignites his light saber.
“Be done boy!” growls Palpatine as he shoots force lightning
at Luke. At first Luke is able to handle it but quickly becomes overpowered
convulses as he absorbs the massive shock.
There is a loud boom and a flash. The combatants are momentarily
blinded and deafened. They see a crater where Palpatine previously stood. Next
to the crater stands tall muscly man brandishing the finest hammer you’ve ever
seen.
“Force lightning is weak!” bellows Thor as he hurls Mjolnir
towards Yoda.
As Yoda narrowly
dodges the hammer Luke picks up light saber and swings it at Yoda. Yoda anticipates
this and blocks his attack. He however did not anticipate Mjolnir’s return to Thor
and it passes through him.
Thor flicks back his luscious golden locks, raises his massively
muscled arms in the air, admires his beautiful hammer for a moment and then takes
flight back to the locker room.
Saturday, April 20, 2019
The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
Week 5 Consortium
The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
The Empire is Galactus w/ Nova, Silver Surfer, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Sky Lynx, Obi Wan Kenobi in his Jedi Starfighter, Surtur, The Eradicator, Ares, Mephisto, Deathstroke, Black Queen, The Incredible Hulk, White Lantern Swamp Thing, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Pinhead, Xerxes (cymek), and Thinking Machine #1-3.
The Sith Aids are Darth Vader and 501st #1 in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Savage Oppress & Feral, The Rancor, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Nihilus, Cad Bane and Director Krennic in a First Order TIE Fighter, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and Starkiller in a First Order TIE Fighter, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, 501st (Vader's Fist) #2-10, Storm Trooper #1-10, The Fallen, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzamachi, IG-88, The Dino-Bots: Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, and Dinobot, Captain Rex, Death Trooper #1-10, Podracer Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala in a First Order TIE Fighter, Sharkticon #1-3, Snow Trooper #1-10, Velociraptor #1-9, Utah Raptor #1 & 2, and Jedi Youngling #15.
The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
The Empire is Galactus w/ Nova, Silver Surfer, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Sky Lynx, Obi Wan Kenobi in his Jedi Starfighter, Surtur, The Eradicator, Ares, Mephisto, Deathstroke, Black Queen, The Incredible Hulk, White Lantern Swamp Thing, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Pinhead, Xerxes (cymek), and Thinking Machine #1-3.
The Sith Aids are Darth Vader and 501st #1 in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Savage Oppress & Feral, The Rancor, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano in a First Order TIE Fighter, Darth Nihilus, Cad Bane and Director Krennic in a First Order TIE Fighter, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and Starkiller in a First Order TIE Fighter, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, 501st (Vader's Fist) #2-10, Storm Trooper #1-10, The Fallen, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzamachi, IG-88, The Dino-Bots: Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, and Dinobot, Captain Rex, Death Trooper #1-10, Podracer Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala in a First Order TIE Fighter, Sharkticon #1-3, Snow Trooper #1-10, Velociraptor #1-9, Utah Raptor #1 & 2, and Jedi Youngling #15.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
Week 5 Democracy
TEAM Vs. Better Than All of You
TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Beta Ray Bill, God Emperor Leto II, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Ms. Marvel, Trygon, Joe Levine w/ Kelly and Abby, General Grevious w/ Magnaguard Droid #1 & 2, Kefka, Mike Tyson, and The Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop) in a tank.
Better Than All of You is Mogo, Ego, Metroplex, Cosmic Spider-Man, Exitar the Exterminator, Trinity in a Stealth X-Wing, Morpheus, Dark Phoenix, The original X-Men: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Archangel, Ice Man, and Beast, Agamemnon and Juno (cymeks), Red Hulk, Red She-Hulk, Black Panther w/ Shiri, Okoye, Nakia, and M'Baku, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage (w/ a Power Ring), Predator #15 (final life), and Red Dragon #2.
TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Beta Ray Bill, God Emperor Leto II, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Ms. Marvel, Trygon, Joe Levine w/ Kelly and Abby, General Grevious w/ Magnaguard Droid #1 & 2, Kefka, Mike Tyson, and The Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop) in a tank.
Better Than All of You is Mogo, Ego, Metroplex, Cosmic Spider-Man, Exitar the Exterminator, Trinity in a Stealth X-Wing, Morpheus, Dark Phoenix, The original X-Men: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Archangel, Ice Man, and Beast, Agamemnon and Juno (cymeks), Red Hulk, Red She-Hulk, Black Panther w/ Shiri, Okoye, Nakia, and M'Baku, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage (w/ a Power Ring), Predator #15 (final life), and Red Dragon #2.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Week 5
-800 Points on The Play-Off Planet
-Prizes: A Hammer Bros. Suit, A Black Lantern Ring, 327 Nubian.
-Death Match
Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Better Than All of You (Democracy)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle it's My First Time (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Josh)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. The LGBTQ Friendly Persons of Inadequate Height (Ed)
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)
-The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)
-Prizes: A Hammer Bros. Suit, A Black Lantern Ring, 327 Nubian.
-Death Match
Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Better Than All of You (Democracy)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle it's My First Time (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Josh)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. The LGBTQ Friendly Persons of Inadequate Height (Ed)
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)
-The Empire Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)
Season X, Week 4: Better Than All of You vs The Empire
Better than all of you is: Mogo, Ego, Metroplex, Cosmic Spiderman, Exitar the Exterminator, Trinity and Morpheus in a Stealth X Wing, Dark Phoenix, Archangel, Agamemnon
The Empire is: Galactus and Nova, Silver Surfer, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Sky Lynx, Obi Wan Kenobi w/ Obi Wan’s Star Fighter, Surtur, The Eradicator, Mephisto, Deathstroke, Ares, Black Queen
The Silver Surfer and Kyle Raynor scan the vast cosmos of the Milky Way. Nearby, the lifeless remains of the rest of The Betters and their Empire teammates float aimlessly on a sea of nothing. Raynor, recently exhausted, is now refreshed after besting Mogo and draining the planet of its lifeforce. It wasn’t an easy task but with the assistance of Galactus and Nova, who helped before Dark Phoenix and Exitar defeated them, the job was a bit lighter.
He senses Ego, their last opponent still very much alive and in relative closeness only four light minutes away. As the Silver Surfer follows Raynor into battle, Radd has time to reflect on the monumental task still at hand and begins to doubt his abilities to help. He shakes off the feeling and returns his focus to the present.
The Surfer feels the shock wave hit him as Raynor and Ego smash into each other at velocities nearing the speed of light. Naturally, he is amped and crouches low on the deck, moves to the rail of his board and rides that gnarly wave crest before kicking out to check on his teammate. He can see that the collision has knocked them both unconscious and also has torn a hole in the fabric of space where the tiniest of black holes is starting to form. As the Surfer races closer the he can feel the pull getting stronger as the maw begins to widen, ready to devour them all. He gets to Raynor and tries his hardest to surf out but the pull begins to slow his progress until he is not only halted but starts to pull backward.
Raynor regains consciousness and immediately recognizing the predicament they find themselves in. Finding the only source of matter nearby, a recently awoken Ego who is unable to slow his descent into the black hole. Raynor aims his ring directly at Ego and with all force he can summon, directs a beam of energy that powers the two of them out of unforgiving gravitational hold while burying Ego in the bottomless void.
He senses Ego, their last opponent still very much alive and in relative closeness only four light minutes away. As the Silver Surfer follows Raynor into battle, Radd has time to reflect on the monumental task still at hand and begins to doubt his abilities to help. He shakes off the feeling and returns his focus to the present.
The Surfer feels the shock wave hit him as Raynor and Ego smash into each other at velocities nearing the speed of light. Naturally, he is amped and crouches low on the deck, moves to the rail of his board and rides that gnarly wave crest before kicking out to check on his teammate. He can see that the collision has knocked them both unconscious and also has torn a hole in the fabric of space where the tiniest of black holes is starting to form. As the Surfer races closer the he can feel the pull getting stronger as the maw begins to widen, ready to devour them all. He gets to Raynor and tries his hardest to surf out but the pull begins to slow his progress until he is not only halted but starts to pull backward.
Raynor regains consciousness and immediately recognizing the predicament they find themselves in. Finding the only source of matter nearby, a recently awoken Ego who is unable to slow his descent into the black hole. Raynor aims his ring directly at Ego and with all force he can summon, directs a beam of energy that powers the two of them out of unforgiving gravitational hold while burying Ego in the bottomless void.
Monday, April 15, 2019
Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters
Be Gentle it's My First Time is Black Goku, Jedi Knight #1-3 in 3 A-Wings, Plo Koon in The Scimitar, Poe Dameron & BB-8 in a Stealth X-Wing, Jedi Knight #4 & 5 in 2 B-Wings, King Ghodira, Dr. Fate, Steppenwolfe, The Terrorcons, Black Atom (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), The Z-Fighters led by Goku (w/ a Green Lantern Ring), The Colonial Marines, Dr. Strange (w/ a Time Stone), Wong, and Mako (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring). The whole team is in a Guild Ship captained by Kahn.
The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, Arsenal and The Red Hood piloting Count Dooku's Ship w/ Daisy Duck, James Vietch in an Autobot Exo-Suit, Baby Ewok #4-5, and Space Trooper #1-5, Tomar Tu, Darth Traya (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Athena, and Shockwave.
The enormous Guild Ship hovers in the Milky Way with the entire Be Gentle Squad aboard fully prepared for battle. Though the ship is immobile without a Guild Navigator aboard to work the Holtzman Engines, the stationary ship functions as an excellent Space Fortress. The Super Kitties have no other option but to go on the offensive, despite having no idea what lies within the walls of the massive space-folding ship.
Dooku's special Genosian built solar sail ship piloted by flying ace Arsenal is at the center of the attack formation, being flanked on each side by a Kryptonian and a V-wing containing an X-Man (actually X-Woman) on each side. The rest of the team hangs slightly back following the lead of Abeloth. The Super Kitties begin to formulate a plan of attack, but before they can, Captain Kahn sends out his first wave. As both the east and west end entrances of the gigantic Guild ship open, the entire fighter ship fleet of seven led by Poe comes out the East side and King Ghodira, The Terrorcons, Mako, Steppenwolfe, Black Atom, both the Gokus, and the rest of The Z-Fighters exit on the West side in an attempt to completely surround the Super Kitties.
The carnage begins:....
Shockwave transforms into his massive cannon form and mounts himself to the side of Scarlet Witch's V-Wing. With his first mega-powered blast, Shockwave completely obliterates Tien Shinhan. But the Z-Fighters waste no time getting revenge. Piccollo and Krillin fly in fast and each punch a big hole into a thick piece of metal. In Piccollo's case it was into Scarlet Witch's V-Wing, disabling the ship (though Scarlet Witch ejected away from the site). For Krillin, his massive punch went directly into the center of Shockwave, destroying the spark of the veteran Decepticon. Gohan and the two Gokus find themselves locked in an evenly matched battle of certified Universe Destroyers as they engage with the massive, fanged Abeloth. King Ghodira clips the wing of Polaris' V-Wing causing her to eject from the exploding ship. The massive three-headed Kaiju is unharmed by the fierce outer space conditions, but he is having trouble moving himself with his wings. Though not moving quickly, that doesn't mean that the monster is easy to kill, even when double-teamed by two Greek gods. Athena and her uncle Hades leap onto the beast and begin to pound on him with a vengeance. Hades manages to rip the center head off of Ghodira, but it just enrages the rest of the monster. His right head goes in for the kill and swallows the god of the Underworld whole. Athena then uses the death of Hades as a diversion as she plunges her sword into the heart of the now two headed Monster King to finish him off. Athena, now floating freely in space, is not moving around as well as the Super Saiyans. She launches her sword with amazing strength to take out Chiaotzu from a distance, but by disarming herself she then falls victim to attacks from Yamicha and Bulma. The Terrorcons merge to form Abominus but Scarlet Witch, who is now floating by on a small asteroid with her sister Polaris uses her mystical mutant powers to pull the gestalt back apart. As the five monster Decepticons find themselves separated and confused, Polaris then puts them back together; but not neatly like they were before. The daughter of Magneto crushes the five of them together with her mastery of magnetism and then to add insult to injury includes the sparkless carcass of her teammate Shockwave to the clump as well. Sweating in her space suit and pushing her powers to the max Scarlet Witch looks over to her sister and worriedly asks what she plans to do next. “MAKE AN ENTRANCE” Polaris yells as she sends the enormous clump of Cybertronian metal into the side of the Guild ship creating a huge hole.
As the majority of the fighting begins moving towards the Guild Ship, Black Goku, Green Goku, and Gohan are still battling Abeloth. The Mother of Mortis bites the head off of Gohan and grabs a hold of Goku and Goku with her two hands. Abeloth summons all the Force power she can muster in an attempt to absorb the essence of the two powerful beings in her grip. But before she manages to finish them, the two Gokus use all of their African-American and Climate Justice powers to ensure that the Galaxy's greatest Force user joins them in death.
As some of the members of the Be Gentle squad start to worry once they see the gaping hole in the side of their Guild Ship, Kahn, confident in his team's defenses simply says: “Let them come, it is only their destruction that awaits them”.
Poe takes aim at Dooku's ship taking out their rear engine, but Arsenal manages to crash land the ship inside the Guild Ship which dwarfs the vessel in size. The Kitties squad scatter as they are instantly met by the defensive forces of the Gentles. Darth Traya and Tomar Tu swoop into the Guild Ship to lend some back-up to their fellow Kitty Sisters. The Five Space Troopers move out of the crashed ship first with excellent military precision, but they are quickly mowed down by the Colonial Marines who have them covered from an elevated position from the scaffold like girders of the Guild Ship's launching area. The Space Troopers return fire, but only manage to take out Dietrich of the Colonial Marines before the Troopers are all killed.
Poe gets on the com telling his squadron to “lock S-Foils in attack position”. He plans to lead his crew back towards the Guild Ship to lend a hand to his teammates; but doesn't realize that The Kitties still have quite a bit of firepower on the outside of the ship too. Polaris and Scarlet Witch float over on Asteroid P and do a little sister teamwork on the pilots. Scarlet Witch dizzies the minds of a few of the Jedi, while Polaris causes one of the B-Wings to crash into one of the A-Wings. This worked almost too well, but before they could duplicate the attack, Plo Koon takes the Scimitar out of Cloak and blasts Asteroid P with an Advanced Concussion Missile incinerating the two X-Men. The remaining members of the Z-Fighters fly in fast to join the fight; but they are cut off at the pass by Blackfire and Starfire. Even more Sister team up love takes place as the two expert space fighting Tamaranians take out Piccollo, Yamcha, Yajirobe, and Bulma with a flurry of laser eye blasts and building leveling punches. They save Krillin for last so they can make several midget jokes before they crack his neck. Starfire and her sister Blackfire, move their attention towards the ships who set their sheilds to the front and lock onto the two Tamaranian targets. But that isn't the girl power duo they should have been most worried about as both Supergirl and Powergirl fly in from behind at speeds that even these stunt fighters can't attain. The Kryptonians take out the two remaining A-Wings and last B-Wing with concentrated heat vision blasts and each deliver a punch to Plo Koon's Scimitar to send it out of control. Poe target locks Starfire with a proton torpedo and perfectly makes the shot; but Blackfire, Supergirl, and Powergirl converge on the Stealth X-Wing and rip it to pieces before rushing back to the Guild Ship to help out their fellow Kitty Sisters..... Unless of course it is already too late.....
Tomar Tu gave everything he could in his one on one fight against Dr. Fate, but even after he completely drained the power of his green lantern ring, it wasn't enough to win the fight. Dr. Fate held off the lantern and then easily finished him with a mystical blast to the head once his green energy aura had diminished. Mako takes aim at The Red Hood with his Yellow Lantern Ring, but Daisy Duck screams “NOOOOOOO” as she jumps in front of him and takes the blast for her buddy Jason Todd. The angered Red Hood avenges his Duck friend as he pumps Mako full of lead from his high-powered pistols. James Vietch is transformed into car form in his Exo-Suit with two crazy Baby Ewoks riding on him. He goes crashing into the Colonial Marines. The Marines open fire, but the Autobot weapons systems take out several of space force. Private Hudson takes out Vietch with a machine gun blast; but the explosion not only kills the comedian and his ewok friends, but several of the Marines as well. Only Hicks, Hudson, Apone, and Vasquez remain.
Both teams converge near the engine room of the Guild Ship as the final remaining powerhouses square off. Dr. Strange and Wong surround Darth Traya. But the Sith Lord uses the Force to send two purple lightsabers into the chest of Wong. Strange opens up the Eye of Agamatto on Lord Traya and manages to overpower her despite her intense mastery of The Force. Traya goes down, but her red lantern ring channels her Sith Rage and spews red vomit energy all over Dr. Strange to leave this fight survivorless.
Sgt. Apone sets up a great defensive posture, but Arsenal and The Red Hood have studied military positioning far too well in their years under Batman and Green Arrow. The two former sidekicks, take out the last four Colonial Marines with ease. Kahn uses the diversion of the Marines and his post-human superior speed to sneak up behind the Red Hood; but Arsenal turns at the last second and puts an arrow through Kahn's eye socket.
Supergirl and Steppenwolfe are hitting each other with wall-busting punches, while Black Atom is getting double-teamed by Blackfire and Powergirl. Red Hood and Arsenal are leaping around wildly with amazing melee moves, but are finding themselves outmatched by Dr. Fate.
Black Atom perfectly combines his mystical powers with yellow energy powers to completely blast Blackfire into mere molecules.
Arsenal and The Red Hood send every bullet and arrow they have at Dr. Fate; but he blocks them all and crushes the two humans with two enormous crates from the Guild ship.
Supergirl blocks every punch that Steppenwolfe sends her way and brings a closed double fist down on the head of Darkseid's soldier, snapping his powerful neck.
Powergirl witnessed the enormous display of power from Dr. Fate and flies in fast to avenge Red Hood and Arsenal. She tackles Dr. Fate and takes flight with him in her arms. They fight wildly as they both fly into the Holtzman engine blowing the Guild Ship to bits and killing both of them in the massive nuclear explosion of the engine and ship.
Destroyed debris and two combatants float around the area, when the final two make eye contact. Nothing but space garbage is in sight for thousands of miles when Black Atom and Supergirl lock eyes. Black Atom hits Supergirl with a punch that would make a skyscraper fall, but the Kryptonian comes right back at him. Black Atom charges up his yellow lantern ring for a blast, but Supergirl hits the ring with a potent shot of heat vision to destroy it. Black Atom and Supergirl both fly at each other with every bit of power they can muster and each deliver their most powerful possible punch to the face of their opponent.
Supergirl is bruised and battered floating in space unconscious for hours, when she wakes up next to the body of Black Atom and comes to realize that......
The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, Arsenal and The Red Hood piloting Count Dooku's Ship w/ Daisy Duck, James Vietch in an Autobot Exo-Suit, Baby Ewok #4-5, and Space Trooper #1-5, Tomar Tu, Darth Traya (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Athena, and Shockwave.
The enormous Guild Ship hovers in the Milky Way with the entire Be Gentle Squad aboard fully prepared for battle. Though the ship is immobile without a Guild Navigator aboard to work the Holtzman Engines, the stationary ship functions as an excellent Space Fortress. The Super Kitties have no other option but to go on the offensive, despite having no idea what lies within the walls of the massive space-folding ship.
Dooku's special Genosian built solar sail ship piloted by flying ace Arsenal is at the center of the attack formation, being flanked on each side by a Kryptonian and a V-wing containing an X-Man (actually X-Woman) on each side. The rest of the team hangs slightly back following the lead of Abeloth. The Super Kitties begin to formulate a plan of attack, but before they can, Captain Kahn sends out his first wave. As both the east and west end entrances of the gigantic Guild ship open, the entire fighter ship fleet of seven led by Poe comes out the East side and King Ghodira, The Terrorcons, Mako, Steppenwolfe, Black Atom, both the Gokus, and the rest of The Z-Fighters exit on the West side in an attempt to completely surround the Super Kitties.
The carnage begins:....
Shockwave transforms into his massive cannon form and mounts himself to the side of Scarlet Witch's V-Wing. With his first mega-powered blast, Shockwave completely obliterates Tien Shinhan. But the Z-Fighters waste no time getting revenge. Piccollo and Krillin fly in fast and each punch a big hole into a thick piece of metal. In Piccollo's case it was into Scarlet Witch's V-Wing, disabling the ship (though Scarlet Witch ejected away from the site). For Krillin, his massive punch went directly into the center of Shockwave, destroying the spark of the veteran Decepticon. Gohan and the two Gokus find themselves locked in an evenly matched battle of certified Universe Destroyers as they engage with the massive, fanged Abeloth. King Ghodira clips the wing of Polaris' V-Wing causing her to eject from the exploding ship. The massive three-headed Kaiju is unharmed by the fierce outer space conditions, but he is having trouble moving himself with his wings. Though not moving quickly, that doesn't mean that the monster is easy to kill, even when double-teamed by two Greek gods. Athena and her uncle Hades leap onto the beast and begin to pound on him with a vengeance. Hades manages to rip the center head off of Ghodira, but it just enrages the rest of the monster. His right head goes in for the kill and swallows the god of the Underworld whole. Athena then uses the death of Hades as a diversion as she plunges her sword into the heart of the now two headed Monster King to finish him off. Athena, now floating freely in space, is not moving around as well as the Super Saiyans. She launches her sword with amazing strength to take out Chiaotzu from a distance, but by disarming herself she then falls victim to attacks from Yamicha and Bulma. The Terrorcons merge to form Abominus but Scarlet Witch, who is now floating by on a small asteroid with her sister Polaris uses her mystical mutant powers to pull the gestalt back apart. As the five monster Decepticons find themselves separated and confused, Polaris then puts them back together; but not neatly like they were before. The daughter of Magneto crushes the five of them together with her mastery of magnetism and then to add insult to injury includes the sparkless carcass of her teammate Shockwave to the clump as well. Sweating in her space suit and pushing her powers to the max Scarlet Witch looks over to her sister and worriedly asks what she plans to do next. “MAKE AN ENTRANCE” Polaris yells as she sends the enormous clump of Cybertronian metal into the side of the Guild ship creating a huge hole.
As the majority of the fighting begins moving towards the Guild Ship, Black Goku, Green Goku, and Gohan are still battling Abeloth. The Mother of Mortis bites the head off of Gohan and grabs a hold of Goku and Goku with her two hands. Abeloth summons all the Force power she can muster in an attempt to absorb the essence of the two powerful beings in her grip. But before she manages to finish them, the two Gokus use all of their African-American and Climate Justice powers to ensure that the Galaxy's greatest Force user joins them in death.
As some of the members of the Be Gentle squad start to worry once they see the gaping hole in the side of their Guild Ship, Kahn, confident in his team's defenses simply says: “Let them come, it is only their destruction that awaits them”.
Poe takes aim at Dooku's ship taking out their rear engine, but Arsenal manages to crash land the ship inside the Guild Ship which dwarfs the vessel in size. The Kitties squad scatter as they are instantly met by the defensive forces of the Gentles. Darth Traya and Tomar Tu swoop into the Guild Ship to lend some back-up to their fellow Kitty Sisters. The Five Space Troopers move out of the crashed ship first with excellent military precision, but they are quickly mowed down by the Colonial Marines who have them covered from an elevated position from the scaffold like girders of the Guild Ship's launching area. The Space Troopers return fire, but only manage to take out Dietrich of the Colonial Marines before the Troopers are all killed.
Poe gets on the com telling his squadron to “lock S-Foils in attack position”. He plans to lead his crew back towards the Guild Ship to lend a hand to his teammates; but doesn't realize that The Kitties still have quite a bit of firepower on the outside of the ship too. Polaris and Scarlet Witch float over on Asteroid P and do a little sister teamwork on the pilots. Scarlet Witch dizzies the minds of a few of the Jedi, while Polaris causes one of the B-Wings to crash into one of the A-Wings. This worked almost too well, but before they could duplicate the attack, Plo Koon takes the Scimitar out of Cloak and blasts Asteroid P with an Advanced Concussion Missile incinerating the two X-Men. The remaining members of the Z-Fighters fly in fast to join the fight; but they are cut off at the pass by Blackfire and Starfire. Even more Sister team up love takes place as the two expert space fighting Tamaranians take out Piccollo, Yamcha, Yajirobe, and Bulma with a flurry of laser eye blasts and building leveling punches. They save Krillin for last so they can make several midget jokes before they crack his neck. Starfire and her sister Blackfire, move their attention towards the ships who set their sheilds to the front and lock onto the two Tamaranian targets. But that isn't the girl power duo they should have been most worried about as both Supergirl and Powergirl fly in from behind at speeds that even these stunt fighters can't attain. The Kryptonians take out the two remaining A-Wings and last B-Wing with concentrated heat vision blasts and each deliver a punch to Plo Koon's Scimitar to send it out of control. Poe target locks Starfire with a proton torpedo and perfectly makes the shot; but Blackfire, Supergirl, and Powergirl converge on the Stealth X-Wing and rip it to pieces before rushing back to the Guild Ship to help out their fellow Kitty Sisters..... Unless of course it is already too late.....
Tomar Tu gave everything he could in his one on one fight against Dr. Fate, but even after he completely drained the power of his green lantern ring, it wasn't enough to win the fight. Dr. Fate held off the lantern and then easily finished him with a mystical blast to the head once his green energy aura had diminished. Mako takes aim at The Red Hood with his Yellow Lantern Ring, but Daisy Duck screams “NOOOOOOO” as she jumps in front of him and takes the blast for her buddy Jason Todd. The angered Red Hood avenges his Duck friend as he pumps Mako full of lead from his high-powered pistols. James Vietch is transformed into car form in his Exo-Suit with two crazy Baby Ewoks riding on him. He goes crashing into the Colonial Marines. The Marines open fire, but the Autobot weapons systems take out several of space force. Private Hudson takes out Vietch with a machine gun blast; but the explosion not only kills the comedian and his ewok friends, but several of the Marines as well. Only Hicks, Hudson, Apone, and Vasquez remain.
Both teams converge near the engine room of the Guild Ship as the final remaining powerhouses square off. Dr. Strange and Wong surround Darth Traya. But the Sith Lord uses the Force to send two purple lightsabers into the chest of Wong. Strange opens up the Eye of Agamatto on Lord Traya and manages to overpower her despite her intense mastery of The Force. Traya goes down, but her red lantern ring channels her Sith Rage and spews red vomit energy all over Dr. Strange to leave this fight survivorless.
Sgt. Apone sets up a great defensive posture, but Arsenal and The Red Hood have studied military positioning far too well in their years under Batman and Green Arrow. The two former sidekicks, take out the last four Colonial Marines with ease. Kahn uses the diversion of the Marines and his post-human superior speed to sneak up behind the Red Hood; but Arsenal turns at the last second and puts an arrow through Kahn's eye socket.
Supergirl and Steppenwolfe are hitting each other with wall-busting punches, while Black Atom is getting double-teamed by Blackfire and Powergirl. Red Hood and Arsenal are leaping around wildly with amazing melee moves, but are finding themselves outmatched by Dr. Fate.
Black Atom perfectly combines his mystical powers with yellow energy powers to completely blast Blackfire into mere molecules.
Arsenal and The Red Hood send every bullet and arrow they have at Dr. Fate; but he blocks them all and crushes the two humans with two enormous crates from the Guild ship.
Supergirl blocks every punch that Steppenwolfe sends her way and brings a closed double fist down on the head of Darkseid's soldier, snapping his powerful neck.
Powergirl witnessed the enormous display of power from Dr. Fate and flies in fast to avenge Red Hood and Arsenal. She tackles Dr. Fate and takes flight with him in her arms. They fight wildly as they both fly into the Holtzman engine blowing the Guild Ship to bits and killing both of them in the massive nuclear explosion of the engine and ship.
Destroyed debris and two combatants float around the area, when the final two make eye contact. Nothing but space garbage is in sight for thousands of miles when Black Atom and Supergirl lock eyes. Black Atom hits Supergirl with a punch that would make a skyscraper fall, but the Kryptonian comes right back at him. Black Atom charges up his yellow lantern ring for a blast, but Supergirl hits the ring with a potent shot of heat vision to destroy it. Black Atom and Supergirl both fly at each other with every bit of power they can muster and each deliver their most powerful possible punch to the face of their opponent.
Supergirl is bruised and battered floating in space unconscious for hours, when she wakes up next to the body of Black Atom and comes to realize that......
TEAM Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Loki (w/ scepter & Space Stone), Beta Ray Bill, The Collector (w/ The Reality Stone), Titan #1-2, Ms. Marvel, Sith Acolyte John Zacharski, Dr. Robotnik, Robot Sonic, and Autobot #1-4.
John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is The Fallen, Grimlock, Slag, Swoop, Sludge, Snarl, The Predicons, The Pretender Monsters, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring) in the Darth Vader Transformer, Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Pre-Suit Darth Vader in a TIE Interceptor, Darth Nihilus in a TIE Interceptor, 4-Lom in a TIE Interceptor, Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, and Sharkticon #1-2.
Unicron and Primus each position themselves on the two far ends of the Milky Way. The two brothers haven't spoken in many million years, but after being put on this team and both started together, they have decided that they would not battle each other, but instead let the lesser beings competing against them choose which side of the Solar System they would die on.
Lord Vader, the prize pilot of The Empire leads his entire squad as one uniform squadron. Ahsoka comes over the com, stating that she heard they have enormous robots on TEAM that crush and devour planets. Vader retorts: “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force”.
Vader continues: “Stay with me and we will destroy them ship to ship”.
Vader and his crew begin a massive strafing run on Primus, when some of TEAM's counter-measure forces emerge from the massive Planet-Transformer. The two Titan Cymeks in full space-battle mode blast Barrage and Ransack with massive lasgun blasts melting them into scrap, but the other two Deluxe Insecticons double back to seek revenge for their partners. The two large Insecticons land on the ancient robots with human brains and eat away the metal until the brains are exposed and killed, though Titan #2 was able to trigger a nuclear self-destruct counter-measure, which ended the two Insecticons as well.
The Starchild comes into the scene, seemingly out of nothingness. He appears directly in front of the Black V-Wing containing the original Dark Lord of the Sith and creator of the rule of two Darth Bane. Bane ejects from the ship and takes flight with his red lantern powers, while his V-Wing transforms into a massive robot version of Darth Vader. Ms. Marvel shows up to even the odds and help out Dave Bowman, but she isn't as useful as Ed hoped she would be when he thought he was picking Captain Marvel in the draft. She uses her over-sized fist to put a good sized dent in the side of Trans-Vader (Ya know, Vader when he self-identifies as a Decepticon (don't judge)). But Trans-Vader sends his massive lightsaber missile through Ms. Marvel to make short work of her. Bowman uses his cosmic abilities to negate The Force power of Lord Bane and revert both of them back to human vulnerability. They stand as equals, but Bane's Red Lantern ring kicks in as a last line of defense and coats the former astronaut with red energy. Darth Bane begins to regain his bearings, but in his weakened state is no match against a Hammer to the face from Beta Ray Bill.
The Dinobots have landed on the surface of Primus, who has decided to continue to lay dormant against a threat he views as insignificant at best. The five Dinobots led by Grimlock begin to focus on one small area of the massive Transformer. While they bite, stomp, and attack the apathetic Transformer God, Loki takes control of the feeble minds of the two Sharkticons and laughs mischievously while he forces them to eat each other. He then attempts to make The Pretender Monsters do the same, but before he can, The Predicons merge to form Prediking and destroy the Asgardian with their massive sword. The Pretender Monsters then merge to form Monstructor and the two gestalts team up to easily wipe out all four Autobots as well as The Collector, Dr. Robotnik and his henchman the Sonic Robot. The two gestalts, though absolutely enormous on earth are then brought in by a huge claw extractment on the side of Primus that pulls them inside and sends them to an incinerator within the depths of the metal monstrosity.
Beta Ray Bill clips the TIE Interceptor of Darth Nihilus, causing him to crash land on the surface of Primus. Lord Nihilus escapes the Imperial ship and finds himself face to face with the young Sith Acolyte John Zacharski. The two of them both ignite their crimson lightsabers but before they duel, John speaks: “Lord Nihilus, I have studied your art well. Let us drop our allegiance from these two teams. If we were two join forces, you as Master and me as your apprentice we could rule not just TEAM and The Sith Aids but the entire league”.
Nihilus contemplates, but says: “You are not worthy. I will prove my loyalty to The Sith Aids by making an example of you here and now”.
Nihilus then begins the process of his soul-sucking insta-kill which has never been evaded by any opponent, and moves towards Zacharski. Lord Nihilus moves with amazing speed and accomplishes his kill on Zacharski, but shockingly looks down to see that John was able to use The Force to actually see the attack before it happened and deliver his own lightsaber into the chest of Darth Nihilus. Forcing the man who could have been his master to die as well.
Superboy lands on the ship of 4-LOM and punches a hole into the cockpit. Superboy, then effortlessly grabs 4-LOM out and rips him in half. The Fallen flies in in Jet Form and begins to blast Superboy, but Superboy is able to take flight and avoid the shots. The jet then turns into robot form and grabs a hold of the young Superman clone. The Fallen applies several million pounds of pressure on the body of Superboy to crush the life out of him, but almost as if he was squeezing it out of him, Superboy uses the last of his power to slice The Fallen in two with a beam of heat vision to extinguish his spark.
Unicron, from the other side of the Solar System begins to realize that the threat of The Sith Aids was far more than he had thought and starts to make his way over to the other side of The Milky Way........
Superman, who had originally been stationed over with Unicron arrives on the scene well before Unicron does. He sees Vader, leading Anakin, Anakin/Vader, and Ahsoka in a standard two by two formation and flies in to break it up. The Skywalker offshoots all scatter, but Ahsoka and her ship are blasted to pieces by Superman. The Darth Vader Transformer comes back into play and grabs a hold of his massive missile like a lightsaber. He swings the house-sized saber at Supes, but the Kryptonian dodges the attack, doubles back around the Transformer and then blasts through the chest of the robot leaving a lifeless chunk of metal in his wake.
“ME GRIMLOCK STILL HUNGRY” The Dinobot leader exclaims to his friends, despite making a hole in the side of Primus the size of a semi-truck. The Dinobots continue their chaotic attack, when Primus finally decides that he has had enough. Primus is considering transforming into robot form for the first time in several million years, but he instead diverts thruster power into laser force field projection and melts Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Swoop, and Snarl where they stand.
Although, Primus and his TEAMmates, have no idea that the Dinobots attack was not simply a chaotic last ditch effort against the massive Transformer Planet, but a well thought out military plan from Lord Vader himself. Primus thinks himself very invincible as Vader, Anakin, and Anakin/Vader set up their next attack run.
But just when you think one enormous transforming robot is too much to handle, a second one always seems to show up. Unicron, in full robot mode shows up and sends an enormous blast towards the three ships attacking his brother. The two shieldless TIE Interceptors are destroyed, but Vader in his TIE Advanced is able to take evasive action and avoid the attacks of Unicron. Vader flies around the side of Primus, disables his targeting computer and places a perfectly aimed proton torpedo into the hole in Primus, that he had instructed the Dinobots to create.
The blast cause a huge chain reaction inside the large sphere....
Primus explodes in a massive fireball.
The blast disables Vader's TIE, forcing him to eject and land on the back of Unicron, where he is met by Superman.
“An impressive light show you brought us today”. Superman says as he slowly approaches Vader.
Vader chooses to not retort, as he force pushes Superman back about ten feet. Superman is shocked, but bounces right back. Vader knows that this is a long shot, because after he kills Superman he will still have to deal with Unicron and any other stragglers; so he wastes no time moving in for the attack. Superman backtracks in flight and hits Vader with some heat vision, but Vader blocks it with his freshly ignited lightsaber. He then force leaps at the Kryptonian, but his control in space is nothing compared to Superman's flght abilities. Superman is able to move out of the way of his attack and deliver one solid punch to destroy the integrity of Vader's suit and end the fight.
John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is The Fallen, Grimlock, Slag, Swoop, Sludge, Snarl, The Predicons, The Pretender Monsters, Darth Bane (w/ a Red Lantern Ring) in the Darth Vader Transformer, Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Pre-Suit Darth Vader in a TIE Interceptor, Darth Nihilus in a TIE Interceptor, 4-Lom in a TIE Interceptor, Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, and Sharkticon #1-2.
Unicron and Primus each position themselves on the two far ends of the Milky Way. The two brothers haven't spoken in many million years, but after being put on this team and both started together, they have decided that they would not battle each other, but instead let the lesser beings competing against them choose which side of the Solar System they would die on.
Lord Vader, the prize pilot of The Empire leads his entire squad as one uniform squadron. Ahsoka comes over the com, stating that she heard they have enormous robots on TEAM that crush and devour planets. Vader retorts: “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force”.
Vader continues: “Stay with me and we will destroy them ship to ship”.
Vader and his crew begin a massive strafing run on Primus, when some of TEAM's counter-measure forces emerge from the massive Planet-Transformer. The two Titan Cymeks in full space-battle mode blast Barrage and Ransack with massive lasgun blasts melting them into scrap, but the other two Deluxe Insecticons double back to seek revenge for their partners. The two large Insecticons land on the ancient robots with human brains and eat away the metal until the brains are exposed and killed, though Titan #2 was able to trigger a nuclear self-destruct counter-measure, which ended the two Insecticons as well.
The Starchild comes into the scene, seemingly out of nothingness. He appears directly in front of the Black V-Wing containing the original Dark Lord of the Sith and creator of the rule of two Darth Bane. Bane ejects from the ship and takes flight with his red lantern powers, while his V-Wing transforms into a massive robot version of Darth Vader. Ms. Marvel shows up to even the odds and help out Dave Bowman, but she isn't as useful as Ed hoped she would be when he thought he was picking Captain Marvel in the draft. She uses her over-sized fist to put a good sized dent in the side of Trans-Vader (Ya know, Vader when he self-identifies as a Decepticon (don't judge)). But Trans-Vader sends his massive lightsaber missile through Ms. Marvel to make short work of her. Bowman uses his cosmic abilities to negate The Force power of Lord Bane and revert both of them back to human vulnerability. They stand as equals, but Bane's Red Lantern ring kicks in as a last line of defense and coats the former astronaut with red energy. Darth Bane begins to regain his bearings, but in his weakened state is no match against a Hammer to the face from Beta Ray Bill.
The Dinobots have landed on the surface of Primus, who has decided to continue to lay dormant against a threat he views as insignificant at best. The five Dinobots led by Grimlock begin to focus on one small area of the massive Transformer. While they bite, stomp, and attack the apathetic Transformer God, Loki takes control of the feeble minds of the two Sharkticons and laughs mischievously while he forces them to eat each other. He then attempts to make The Pretender Monsters do the same, but before he can, The Predicons merge to form Prediking and destroy the Asgardian with their massive sword. The Pretender Monsters then merge to form Monstructor and the two gestalts team up to easily wipe out all four Autobots as well as The Collector, Dr. Robotnik and his henchman the Sonic Robot. The two gestalts, though absolutely enormous on earth are then brought in by a huge claw extractment on the side of Primus that pulls them inside and sends them to an incinerator within the depths of the metal monstrosity.
Beta Ray Bill clips the TIE Interceptor of Darth Nihilus, causing him to crash land on the surface of Primus. Lord Nihilus escapes the Imperial ship and finds himself face to face with the young Sith Acolyte John Zacharski. The two of them both ignite their crimson lightsabers but before they duel, John speaks: “Lord Nihilus, I have studied your art well. Let us drop our allegiance from these two teams. If we were two join forces, you as Master and me as your apprentice we could rule not just TEAM and The Sith Aids but the entire league”.
Nihilus contemplates, but says: “You are not worthy. I will prove my loyalty to The Sith Aids by making an example of you here and now”.
Nihilus then begins the process of his soul-sucking insta-kill which has never been evaded by any opponent, and moves towards Zacharski. Lord Nihilus moves with amazing speed and accomplishes his kill on Zacharski, but shockingly looks down to see that John was able to use The Force to actually see the attack before it happened and deliver his own lightsaber into the chest of Darth Nihilus. Forcing the man who could have been his master to die as well.
Superboy lands on the ship of 4-LOM and punches a hole into the cockpit. Superboy, then effortlessly grabs 4-LOM out and rips him in half. The Fallen flies in in Jet Form and begins to blast Superboy, but Superboy is able to take flight and avoid the shots. The jet then turns into robot form and grabs a hold of the young Superman clone. The Fallen applies several million pounds of pressure on the body of Superboy to crush the life out of him, but almost as if he was squeezing it out of him, Superboy uses the last of his power to slice The Fallen in two with a beam of heat vision to extinguish his spark.
Unicron, from the other side of the Solar System begins to realize that the threat of The Sith Aids was far more than he had thought and starts to make his way over to the other side of The Milky Way........
Superman, who had originally been stationed over with Unicron arrives on the scene well before Unicron does. He sees Vader, leading Anakin, Anakin/Vader, and Ahsoka in a standard two by two formation and flies in to break it up. The Skywalker offshoots all scatter, but Ahsoka and her ship are blasted to pieces by Superman. The Darth Vader Transformer comes back into play and grabs a hold of his massive missile like a lightsaber. He swings the house-sized saber at Supes, but the Kryptonian dodges the attack, doubles back around the Transformer and then blasts through the chest of the robot leaving a lifeless chunk of metal in his wake.
“ME GRIMLOCK STILL HUNGRY” The Dinobot leader exclaims to his friends, despite making a hole in the side of Primus the size of a semi-truck. The Dinobots continue their chaotic attack, when Primus finally decides that he has had enough. Primus is considering transforming into robot form for the first time in several million years, but he instead diverts thruster power into laser force field projection and melts Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Swoop, and Snarl where they stand.
Although, Primus and his TEAMmates, have no idea that the Dinobots attack was not simply a chaotic last ditch effort against the massive Transformer Planet, but a well thought out military plan from Lord Vader himself. Primus thinks himself very invincible as Vader, Anakin, and Anakin/Vader set up their next attack run.
But just when you think one enormous transforming robot is too much to handle, a second one always seems to show up. Unicron, in full robot mode shows up and sends an enormous blast towards the three ships attacking his brother. The two shieldless TIE Interceptors are destroyed, but Vader in his TIE Advanced is able to take evasive action and avoid the attacks of Unicron. Vader flies around the side of Primus, disables his targeting computer and places a perfectly aimed proton torpedo into the hole in Primus, that he had instructed the Dinobots to create.
The blast cause a huge chain reaction inside the large sphere....
Primus explodes in a massive fireball.
The blast disables Vader's TIE, forcing him to eject and land on the back of Unicron, where he is met by Superman.
“An impressive light show you brought us today”. Superman says as he slowly approaches Vader.
Vader chooses to not retort, as he force pushes Superman back about ten feet. Superman is shocked, but bounces right back. Vader knows that this is a long shot, because after he kills Superman he will still have to deal with Unicron and any other stragglers; so he wastes no time moving in for the attack. Superman backtracks in flight and hits Vader with some heat vision, but Vader blocks it with his freshly ignited lightsaber. He then force leaps at the Kryptonian, but his control in space is nothing compared to Superman's flght abilities. Superman is able to move out of the way of his attack and deliver one solid punch to destroy the integrity of Vader's suit and end the fight.
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