Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Week 2 Consortium:

George Washington's House Elves are: Superman, Godzilla, T-1000, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill (missing one leg), Slugfest, Autoscout #1, & Autoscout #2, & Vampire #1-2 (Both with 4 Deaths.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is: Superboy, Doomsday, King Ghodira, 4 Decepticons, 5 Transformers (all with 4 deaths), Spider Miles, 1 Allosaurus, & 2 T-Rex.

Week 2 Democracy: The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Striders of Rohan are HYDRA Soldier #1-2 in an AT-AT, HYDRA Soldier #3-4 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #5-6 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #7-8 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #9-10 in an AT-ST, Admiral William Kelley in a F-18, Earth 2 Batman in the O.G. Batmobile, Earth 2 Catwoman, The Comedian, Black Flash, King Kong, Magneto, Robert Downey Jr. in Ferrari F-40, & Goblin #7-9.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, Quinn, Mega Man X, Khal Drogo, Mike Tyson (Punch Out), & Agent of SHIELD #1-3.

Season XI Week 1: House Elves vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The House Elves are: Superman, Everest from Paw Patrol, and White Walkers #1-6.

The Assassins are: Brainiac in his Skull Ship, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, White Lantern Zach Houslander, Stan Lee, and Zombies #3-7.

Superman and Everest were hanging out at the Fortress of Solitude, minding their own business and eating delicious clam chowder out of a 10 gallon hat. In the background, six White Walkers were having a break dancing competition, getting totally funky as they're known to do. "Mmm, this sure is a hearty chowder" said Superman. "Bark or whatever" said Everest. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Yes, hello, who's there?"

"Hey guys, it's us, the Assassins. We're here to kill you on your own turf, can we come in?"

"Well sure, I guess, but I don't think you guys will be able to kill me, especially not here, in my Fortress of Solitude."

The door swings open and White Lantern Zach comes bursting in, plowing through the White Walkers who were just trying to enjoy their hip-hop breaks.

"Oh come on now that wasn't a nice thing to do, they hadn't even started yet." Superman wagged a finger in disapproval as Red Lantern Jeff rushed him, only to fatally collide with Superman's outstretched fist.

Braniac's Skull Ship ripped the roof off the fortress, and his booming voice echoed off the slick walls. "Hey Superman it's me, Braniac, I know the rest of my team was no match but I've got just the thing to beat you!"

"Is it those missiles with the red sun radiation mentioned in the wiki? Because you already did that once, I'm obviously not going to fall for it again."

"Well... actually, yes it was the missiles. Wait, wait, what do you mean 'mentioned in the wiki'? Isn't that a little... meta?"

"Hm... you know what, that's a good point. I had a suspicion that things were amiss when I was eating soup from a hat with a dog. This just about confirms it, I'm gonna go do some investigative journalism."

Superman runs to his in-house phonebooth and changes in to his Clark Kent disguise before flying off to my office. He arrived at the shack and walked up to the door, embellished with a rough piece of half-inch ply reading "Daveatu's Fortress of Ineptitude." He knocked gently and politely. No response. A second time he knocked, this time in a fun rhythmic pattern. Still nothing. He tried knocking a bit harder, but his super strength was too much for the sloppy craftsmanship of the entrance, and the hinges fell right out of the wall.

"Uh- how unexpected! My normal human strength has accidentally dislodged this faulty door! I'll just... proceed inside, then."

Clark walked through the empty foyer and followed a muffled clicking sound to a room full of writers. Well, technically, a room full of chimpanzees chained to typewriters. Furiously they smashed at the keys, seemingly unaware of Superman's presence. When one would slow down and become distracted, a burst of white powder would spray from their typewriter, stimulating them back up to speed in a flash. Warily he proceeded to the back of the room, to a small door labeled "Big Boss Man".

After his last knocking mishap, I swung the door open before he could wreck it. I was wearing a rubber clown nose. "Yeah, come in. Need something?"

"Yes, hello. My name is Clark Kent, I'm a reporter for the Daily Planet. You're Daveatu the Watcher, correct?"

"No, see the nose? I'm The Jokey Man, hoo-hoo-ha."

"Is... something wrong?"

"Yeah, yeah, do me a quick favor Clark. Could you take off your glasses?"

He froze for just a moment, nodded, and removed his spectacles. I faked a gasp.

"Oh my god, wait a minute, you're Superman! Oh man, whoa! What a huge unexpected twist, I never would have guessed through your amazing disguise. I just assumed all journalists were built like semi-trucks. So, why are you here? Actually, before you answer that, just kidding. I brought you here. I'm writing this, right now even. And you know that, because that's also what I'm writing. I'm like Mr. Mxyzptlk but somehow even shorter, I can do whatever."

"Alright, then why AM I here?"

"Well, I mean, you're Superman right? The setting is your Fortress of Solitude. You already won, what was I gonna do, just write down the single line 'The Assassins showed up and Superman boffed them all to death at lightspeed with his mighty meat dong'? Well I'd look like a fool then, wouldn't I?" I honked my rubber nose.

"Well of course that wouldn't look too interesting on paper, but come on, you never know what could happen. Braniac is pretty resourceful right? And there were a couple Lanterns, you of all people know not to underestimate the Lantern Corps."

"Yeah, Braniac is great, but here's the thing: You are the instant win. Yeah, sometimes you die, sometimes in pretty goofy ways! But on average, you're the trump card, especially with homefield advantage."

Superman looked puzzled, some combination of flattered and indignant. "But there are plenty of other character who can match my strength. Even some who exceed it! I may be iconic but I'm not omnipotent."

"You know what, good point, very good point. Let me find a very good rebuttal." I shuffled through the cluttered mess of loose files and papers on my desk. "Oh, here, this will do. Check this out." I summoned Saitama from One-Punch Man to my office. His blank expression had only a hint of curiosity at this unexpected teleportation. Before he could ask, I flicked a finger to fling him toward Superman. He burst into a fine mist on contact.

"What have you done?! Who was that poor man, how could you do this?"

"Oh that was One-Punch Man. You know why they call him that? He can defeat just about any enemy in a single punch. Just about, not always, but you'd think somebody that strong could at least hold their own against you, right?"

"Not if you write him in and pop him like a grape in an instant!"

"Exactly my point, Kal. See, you little green army men are all assigned point values. You're pretty high, friend, pretty high indeed. That guy? Not even close. He's barely worth more than two Ron Popeils."

"Why? This doesn't make sense." He said in pre-determined agreement.

"Well obviously because he doesn't come with enough nostalgia. He's new, who's got time to give consideration to new things? Hey, here's one you actually might know." I honked my nose again and summoned 'The Batman Who Laughs' off my roster. Batman, in a rainbow wig and big floppy shoes, fell to the floor cackling hysterically.

"Is that Batman? What have you done to him?!"

"No, this is 'The Batman Who Laughs'. Sound familiar?"

"What? No, Earth-22's Bruce is locked in the dungeon at the Hall of Justice. Is this a joke?"

"Ha! Hey, sure looks that way doesn't it? No, no, this isn't the Batman Who Laughs of the DC universe! This one is from the '?' universe! I dunno, this guy must have been the first result when you Google 'The Batman Who Laughs.' C'est la vie." I shriveled the Batclown like a raisin and popped him in my mouth. Tasted funny. "It gets even better though, what if I decided I DON'T want you to be the end-all be-all of the match?"

"Alright, what if?"

I clapped my hands together and the band Ween appeared in a circle around the Man of Steel. Dean Ween, sweating profusely, gazed around the room with pupils the size of hubcaps. "Holy s*** man, there's no way this was acid. This is too f***ing much dude."

"Nah guys, it's acid, really good acid. I'm your spirit guide, an emissary of Boognish. He said you gotta beat Superman's ass to achieve enlightenment or whatever. Go on, do it."

Superman arched his brow. "No offense, but how would some D-list band stand a chance against- Oh, ow, oh God! Their musical instruments are so strong, why does this hurt so bad?" The band tore Superman apart in an animal frenzy, leaving a smashed pile of meat and bones before I sent them Back to Basom. "It's rewind time" I said with yet another honk of my nose, and Superman reformed into his un-smashed glory.

"Do you see the point I'm making here, Supes? We have the power, there are no rules, and we just pick whichever team we want to win for whatever reason. If you don't like it you can rip me a new one in the comments section below. Now go kill the robot octopus and the dude with the white power."

"Yes sir, Daveatu sir", Superman said like a good cardboard cutout.

Season 11, Week 1: Midgets vs Striders

The Midgets are: Yoda (w/ white lantern ring), Link.

Striders are: The Incredibles (Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack Jack, Fro-zone), Samwise Gamgee (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), Bilbo Baggins, Xenomorph #15 (4 deaths), Fedayeen #1.

Link starts the attack since he is still full health and does a spin move and throws his sword. The sword finds Mr. Bilbo who was huddled off to the side with Sam trying to stay warm and discussing how very much they dislike adventures such as this. Xenomorph #15 pounces on Link before his sword can return and eats his face with its little face that’s inside his mouth. The Xenomorph is then sent to the graveyard as Yoda lands on his head and drives the lightsaber through his skull. Fro-zone shoots a blast of frozen energy that Yoda easily avoids as he jumps off the dead alien. Yoda then force pushes Fro-zone off a nearby ice cliff to his death. Elastigirl tries to restrain Yoda while Dash runs along the ceiling and walls of the ice cave and starts dropping icicles down. The icicles accidently kill Fedayeen #1 in the incident and as Yoda breaks free from Elastigirl, he uses the force to catch some of the falling ice and send it toward her and Violet killing them both. Mr Incredible, drunk with bloodlust after the death of his wife and daughter, charges the tiny jedi into a wall and dazes him. Before Yoda can lift his ring or lightsaber, he is restricted by the Blue Lantern Ring of Samwise Gamgee who, with frozen tears still stinging his cheeks, musters all the courage in his tiny hobbit heart to hold Yoda just long enough for Mr. Incredible to deliver a knock out punch to the skull as Jack Jack sets the unconscious Yoda on fire, giving him a proper Jedi burial.

Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. The Empire

Affirmative Action Popeye's is (Earth 2) Superman, The Tazmanian Devil, and Sentinel #9.

The Empire is Black Lantern Superman, Bernie Sanders (w/ The Hammer (and Sickle) Bros. Suit), & Bronze Dragon #1-4.

E2 Superman and Taz sit nestled inside the Crystal Palace known as The Fortress of Solitude, while their Sentinel circles the outside perimeter as a means of defense. The Popeye's crew are setting up for a huge party with an elite group of guests expected to come. A convention if you will; but Bernie and his friends aren't invited. Outside, The Empire mounts their offensive, despite being unsure if they can penetrate the walls of the Fortress that only the true Superman seems able to open. The Bernie Bro. in his new suit, hammer and sickle at his waist is still formulating his plan to get inside. The four Bronze Dragons await the symbol of solidarity from their comrade and Senator. They will move first in an attempt to bust open a path for their leader and his mighty Black Lantern bodyguard. BL Supes has been feeling the Bern for some time and in many ways has become the embodiment of Bernie's message and popular support. The power behind the Populist. The muscle behind the Manifesto. Bernie slams his hammer and sickle together to spark the attack and calls the four bronze dragons out by name: “On Harris, on Booker, on Warren, and Gabbard”!! Bernie yells as they move towards the Fortress.

The four mystical, metallic dragons to better suit the setting, morph from their winged forms and take the shape of massive Russian Yeti that Premier Putin has often spoke of. Bernie and BL Supes hang back as the dragons attack; and watch in horror as their plans to overtake the Party are dashed. Sentinel #9 Blooms bergs of electricity to slow them down; but Bernie's acolytes make short work of the initial defense and destroy the mechanical monstrosity. It is the defensive counter-measures of the Fortress itself that take out Booker first, then Kamala, and finally Warren as Bernie sits back unable to help them. It is hard to see if Gabbard was destroyed or not by the ecological machine laced with billions of dollars worth of crystal; but she disappeared from sight nonetheless.

BL Supes and Bernie hang out outside the Fortress in a Safe Space while they attempt to formulate their second run at the powerful White House of the Superman in front of them. BL Supes begins having his doubts about the possibility of victory; so much so that he asks his beloved leader: “Do you even understand how Capitalism works”??

Bernie calmly looks at his prized warrior and answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

For four long days, days that seem like years Bernie and his powerful follower wait outside the Fortress of Solitude amid constant attacks from the machine that protects the deepest darkest secrets of Krypton. They simply can't figure out a way to get inside. Finally, after frustration has set in fully, Bernie snaps and aggressively yells to his teammate: “You were once Superman!! You were once a part of what goes on behind these walls!! Have you no answer to it's secrets?? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THE FORTRESS WORKS”?!!?

With that question still hanging from the lips of his comrade, something clicks in the mind of BL Superman. A light goes off in his black lit brain and he answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

Immediately after saying these words, BL Supes looks to a little known weak spot in the foundation of the Fortress and begins bombarding it with darkened heat vision, Black Lantern energy, and a flurry of punches and kicks that could level buildings as strong as the Pentagon without any outside interference. A hole is finally punched through the Fortress large enough for the two Empire members to climb through, but they are met with resistance as soon as they enter the building. Despite beginning this battle with a group of “delegated” teammates that outnumbered the Affirmative Action crew, once they crossed into the Halls of the Fortress they are evenly matched two on two.

The two Supermen instantly square off in a Becks style pitched battle. BL Supes should have a bit of an advantage considering that a black lantern's light cannot be extinguished without the power of two separate lantern rings; but this is E2 Superman's house; it's his party and he can change the rules if he wants to.

On the other side of the wide, expanse room Bernie and Taz square off. The Tazmanian Devil moves wildly at Bernie in an attempt to assassinate the politician; but Bernie doesn't have a wife or sister to hide behind. He instead moves aggressively towards Taz, stunning him by throwing two hammers at the face of the snow covered white devil that so frequently attempts to quell the spirit of the working man. Bernie then uses his sickle to sweep the legs out from under his opponent and drives yet another hammer into the eyeball of Taz to finish him off. Bernie searches for his remaining teammate and looks to his right, for he he knows in his heart that nobody is to the Left of him. He sees the battle between the Supermen taking place, but sees no way into the middle of the fight without risking life and limb.

The two Supermen are completely and utterly, evenly matched in every way. Incalculable strength meeting immeasurable durability with every punch. Freeze breath and heat vision prove to have very little power against freeze breath and heat vision as most would anticipate. BL Supes takes a calculated risk, knowing that by the rules of DC Comics he should be immune to death from the non-ring wielding Superman even if his opponent is retaining more than 100% of his regular power in their current setting. BL Supes moves in fast for the kill towards the jugular vein of E2 Supes, leaving himself open to attack; but E2 Supes changes the rules that dictate the setting and triggers the change in atmosphere of his crystal home. Green and Yellow lights shine from the ceiling, thrusting Oan and Qwardian power harnessed from the Green and Yellow Lantern Corps of Krypton, decimating the power aura of BL Supes and leaving him open for an insanely powerful double-fisted punch from E2 Supes that breaks the neck of the once death-energy resurrected Earth 1 version of himself.

Bernie stands alone against the true power that fuels the machine that has concentrated all its power on his destruction. Bernie faces his opponent head on. Hammer in one hand, sickle in the other and the power of the Proletariat emanating from every cell in his body. E2 Supes laughs at the sight of his final opponent. “The United States will never be a Socialist country” The patriotic believer in truth, justice, and the American way utters. He continues: “You are in my arena now Sanders. No Bernie Bros to protect you, no popular vote to be had, just a good old-fashioned fight. Although, I am unarmed and I must admit that I noticed you handle your pair of weapons well. I'm glad I am not in NEED of such primitive tools”.

Bernie smirks and says: “Well, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”, as he rushes at the Man of Steel with every bit of energy he can muster. Bernie lands his first hammer attack; but the sickle is smacked from his hands with such force that Bernie is knocked to the ground as well. Kal L, with a twinge of sadness on his face says: “You gave it a Hell of a run; but we were never gonna let you win”....

Superman then ends the movement altogether by conjuring and directing such an intense bit of heat vision at his opponent, that not even Senator Sanders could feel the Bern.

Dinomites VS. Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Dinomites: Ice w/ a Star Sapphire Ring, Jango Fett, Larry Koopa w/ Ice Flower

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Batman, Robin, Alfred, Catwoman and Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1

Ice and Larry Koopa skate into the Fortress of Solitude while Jango Fett comes flying in  only to notice that Batman, Robin, Catwoman, a SHIELD Agent and for some reason a Butler are in the Fortress of Solitude.

Batman doesn’t recognize the people who enter so he throws a Batarang at Larry Koopa temporarily disabling him. Ice then shoots an ice blast at the SHIELD agent and Alfred thus freezing them solid and then Jango Fett shoots them with his blaster, blowing them into a million pieces. 

Robin then starts to throw a volley of Birdarangs at Jango Fett, but Jango being a master at flight with his Jetpack dodges all of the Birdarangs easily and shoots Robin with his Shrapnel Blast Missile that blows Robin to bits. What Jango Fett had not known was that the Birdarangs that Robin threw were stuck to the wall behind Jango and they were explosive with a delayed timer on them. They blow up right after Jango kills Robin and causes his Jet Pack to malfunction making him fly all over the room like when you let the air out of a balloon and eventually he flies into a wall where the Jetpack blows up and kills him.

Concurrent with Jango Fett and Robin battling, Ice and Catwoman were also battling. Ice uses her abilities to skate all over the Fortress and shooting ice blasts at Catwoman at the same time, but Catwoman is too quick and agile to be hit by the blasts. So Ice creates a snowstorm inside the Fortress, she continues to shoot ice blasts at Catwoman and is finally able to hit Catwoman, as the floor was icy causing Catwoman to slip and being hit by a blast. Catwoman is now frozen solid. 

While Ice and Catwoman are fighting Batman uses his grappling hook to get high up in the ceiling waiting for the right time to strike against Ice as she skates all up and down the Fortress. After Ice is victorious against Catwoman she takes a second to breathe at the top of an Ice wave she had used to skate on. Batman then swoops down and Glide Kicks Ice off her wave and makes her fall about 50 ft on top of the Frozen Catwoman which shatters Catwoman into pieces. Ice also dies from the fall as she fell head first onto Catwoman thus causing Ice to break her neck and die.

Batman takes a deep breath and sighs thinking he’s victorious but all of a sudden he’s been frozen out of nowhere… 

Larry Koopa had awoken from the Batarang he was hit by earlier and had frozen Batman from behind with his Ice Flower, the Koopaling then pushes the frozen Batman out of the Fortress into a nearby abyss. 

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

Consortium Week 1:

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Magic Johnson, Spider Miles, The Punisher (in a Vibranium Suit), 6 Jedi Knights, 4 Decepticons, and 4 Dwarves.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Supergirl, Captain Pike and Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, and Phibian #1-4.

Week 1 Democracy Match

TEAM Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids.

TEAM is Cyborg Superman, Sith Acolyte John Zacharski (w/ Red Lightsaber), President John Adams, and Cybertronian Guardian #2.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is Zombie Cyborg Superman, Soka, and Snow Trooper #2.

Season XI Preseason: TEAM vs. Whatever We're Calling The Midgets This Season

TEAM is: Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Ron Popeil, Morton Downey Jr, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Wheelie, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, and Dr. Wily.

The Midgets are: Link, Atrocitus, Kobe Bryant, Duncan Idaho, Green Lantern #1A, Don Rickles, Jimmy Olsen in a Tanooki Suit, Smurf #10, Ewok #10, and Zombie Predator.


It was a decidedly average day in Bob's humble hamburger restaurant. A simple man, he wished only to prepare delicious sandwiches with his loving wife and children. The heavy grease smell in the air was a warm comfort to Bob as he whipped up the burger of the day, the "Aioli Diver". They hadn't been selling well, turns out people weren't lining up to try his creative seaweed aioli. With his newest recipe crafted, he walked it out to the customer.

"Alright, here's your 'Aioli Diver', that'll be... wait, aren't you uh, Ron Popeil?"

"Why, yes I am, Bob! Inventor of the Pocket Fisherman, but I'll bet you're more of a Whip-O-Matic fan yourself, aren't you?"

"Uh... sure, I usually just use an electric mixer if I'm gonna be doing any whipping, but-"

"Electric mixer?! Oh, but you're losing so much time with those old things. And think of the money you could be saving on electricity, Bob!"

"Okay, yeah, but I'm pretty sure-"

"What if I told you I could sell you not one, but TWO Whip-O-Matics for just $10.98, the original price of a single Whip-O-Matic? They're selling faster than the delicious hotcakes they produce! I wouldn't let this one pass you by!"

"RON, OKAY. I get it, the Whip-O-Matic sounds great. But seriously, aren't you dead? Okay, this can't be real. I shouldn't have trusted Teddy to fix that broken gas line after the match against the Dino... oh, wait, no, NO! Ron, PLEASE tell me this isn't another Fantasy Fantasy League match."

As the unfortunate truth dawned on the beefmonger, a frantic Pack of old crooners burst through the door, covered in blood. Frank Sinatra shook around a disembodied leg. "Aw, Ron, this ain't good! They're hot on our trail, look what they did to Sammy!" He gestured the leg meaningfully.

"Oh, this isn't good, did you try using the-"

"We USED the Pocket Fisherman, Ron, it was no good! The old scientist and the worm fella were holding them off, but they're dyin' out there! The Midgets got some big red guy who's breaking more bones than I did in the 'family business'! What are you doing in here?!"

"Well, I was just trying to talk to my new friend Bob about some great kitchen innovations to increase his pro-"

At that moment, a bright red helicopter of solid light smashed through the ceiling to the restaurant, killing everyone inside on impact. Atrocitus sifted through the rubble as Zombie Predator looked on, and from the wreckage he pulled up a shattered Kobe Bryant.

"YOU HAVE REDEEMED YOURSELF, BASKETBALL MAN!"

S11 Preseason: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs. Barkley’s Turrible Decisions

Affirmative Action Popeyes are: Beachhead,  Road Block,  Gung Ho, Lt. Flint,  John Rambo, Sailor Moon

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are: Khal Drogo, The Batman who Laughs, All-Might, Sonja Blade, Mega Man X

“So this is the place” said Gung Ho outloud to no one in particular as the Popeyes gather outside the entrance of Bob’s Burgers.

“AAAHHHHH!!” screams Sailor Moon as John Rambo literally tears her in half for no reason and leaves her destroyed corpse on the sidewalk. 

Beachhead kicks in the door and the Popeyes rush in. They interrupt Khal Drogo telling jokes in Dothraki that no one quite understood but The Batman Who Laughs seemed to still be enjoying it as he sits at the counter trying to sip on his coffee but cannot catch his breath during his gasps of laughter. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Road Block and Gung Ho start firing shots around the room and shoot Sonja Blade in the head. 

“Hahahahaha!”

All-Might rush the pair and pick them both up and crush their skulls together. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Mega Man X blasts Beachhead with a shot from his blaster and Lt. Flint Returns the favor with a bullet of his own just before Khal Drogo’s sword finds its mark in his chest.

“Hahahahaha!”

All-Might had rushed over and grabbed Rambo but was unable to squeeze him to death as his head was filled with lead from Rambo’s machine gun. 

“Hahahahaha!”

On one knee trying to catch his breath, Rambo watches as Drogo removes his blade from Flint’s chest and marches toward him. As Rambo raises his gun to fire, Drogo chops the arms off of Rambo. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Rambo stares helplessly at his stumpy arms as the blood pours into his lap. A shimmer dances over the liquid and he slowly glances up.

“Hahahahaha!”

 The sunlight reflecting off Drogo’s sword is the final fleeting image he sees.

“Hahahahaha!” Batman continues to howl with laughter at the counter as Drogo stares back at his teammate annoyed. 

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Chuck Norris, Taskmaster (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Punisher (in a Vibranium Suit), 11 Jedi Knights, & 7 Dwarves.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is Firelord Ozai, Mike Tyson, Soka, Suki, Ty Lee, Jon Snow, & Fire Bros. #10.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

The Striders of Rohan are John Wick, Hell Boy, Agent 47, Frozone, Gollum, & Goblin #5 & 6.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are The Inquisitor, Arya Stark, Red X, & Lara Croft

George Washington's House Elves Vs. Two Hungry Dino-Mites w/ Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight

George Washington's House Elves are Bob, Linda, Tina, Jean, & Louise w/ Teddy, Wizard, Warrior, Valkyrie, & Elf, Dick Tracey, Hannibal Lectur, Janet Reno (w/ wooden armor), John Schlade, Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Harry & Meghan w/ Archie, Winston Churchill, & Dothraki #1 w/ his Horse.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites w/ Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Chirrut Imwe, Baze Malbus, Casssian Andor, K-2SO, Bo Schembechler, Jim Harbough, George Bailey, Sam Wainwright, Coruscant Underworld Police (CUP), Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, & Tre' Cool, & Rebel Soldier #5-7.

The family who runs the small town favorite restaurant Bob's Burger has had quite a day, but they relax afterwards as a family.

Linda: Wow Bob, that really was quite a day.

Bob: Yeah, hope this doesn't become a regular thing on Sundays; but at least business was good. It seems like everybody paid their checks before all the carnage happened.

Linda: Yeah Bob, it was crazy. At least the kids are safe.

Bob: Wish I could say the same for our new teammates.

Linda: Looks like all the bills were accounted for, except for that LGBT Couple that sat at the end of the counter. I think their names were Baze and Chirrut.

Bob: No, they didn't eat anything. I think they said they were trying to be Vegans or something.

Linda: I thought they were trying to be Jedis.

Bob: Vegans, Jedis, I think that's the same thing isn't it??

Louise: Those aren't the same thing Dad.

Bob: Either way, they didn't eat anything. Just took up a seat and drank water before that Wizard and his three buddies with the Renaissance Festival costumes came in and murdered them. Which was pretty awkward; but pretty good from a cash flow perspective if I'm gonna be honest.

Linda: Well Bob, let's not forget that those Vegans did kill that Dothraki guy, even though he was all sad, crying in his milkshake after his teammate Hannibal ate his horse.

Jean: They weren't Vegans, they were Jedis..... Sort of.

Bob: To be fair, the rest of the team did say that eating that horse was far better than what Epstein and the Prince were going to do with it.

Linda: It did bother me that Dr. Lectur brought in his own outside food. I really thought you were going to say something to him Bob. It's why I wouldn't give him free refills on his Sprite. Not to mention that I don't want people thinking horseburgers are something we serve here. Word gets out and people start to talk.

Bob: I know Linda. You're right. I was going to say something; but I was so busy serving Coach Bo & Coach Jim burgers for their eating contest that the time got away from me.

Tina: It wasn't much of a contest when Bo won 9 to 3; but nobody seems to care about that.

Bob: But, you are right Linda. If I would have kicked Dr. Lectur out earlier than he wouldn't have been able to start eating Bo & Jim and they would have ordered even more burgers.

Linda: Oh well Bob, ya live and ya learn. I will say, that it sure was nice having live music in here for the first time ever. Green Day sounded great and it sure did bring in a lot of customers. It's too bad this ended up being their last show, considering that the Gauntlet guys ended up killing all three of them. But then again Green Day's mosh pit was pretty deadly. I can't say I was too bummed to see Lectur trampled, but that John Schlade seemed like a nice, Christian, young man.

Bob: Packed is an understatement Linda. I didn't think our place was ever going to clear out. Only that Cassian fellow is still here finishing his dinner.

Louise: The blue Warrior was scary.

Bob: Yeah. There were some scary folk about here. Glad that Imperial robot killed all those mythology types, couldn't believe he self-destructed in the process. But having all that royalty in here was really weird. I guess as soon as they fall out of favor over in the U.K. They just end up filtering in to places like this. That Meghan chick doesn't seem very loyal either. She kept flirting with that George Bailey fellow; but he refused to help her down from the stool. I was happy, she was a pretty arrogant gal and there was something special about that George Bailey, I felt really rich being his friend. But that wealthy guy, his buddy Sam.... Ugh. My skin still crawls every time I think about him saying Hee Haw. Weird that George and Sam were just collateral damage when Sir Winston Churchill turned on his own team and started yelling “God Save the Queen” while he gunned down Harry, Meghan, Archie, & Andrew. Guess he thought that he was the only true Englishman in here. And it took Winston so long to find that Epstein guy hiding behind the counter. That dude sure didn't want to die. I thought it was a bit much when Ol' Winston yanked his belt off and strangled the dude. It was a rough exchange; but Epstein certainly wasn't going to kill himself. And then those Rebel Soldiers came after Churchill next. Those Rebels just kept walking right towards him, like they were used to fighting people with terrible aim or something??...?? Winston just picked them off one by one.

Linda: But poor Teddy I can't stop thinking about. I can't believe he is gone. What was wrong with that Coruscant Underworld Policeman anyway?? I can't believe he accused our Teddy of selling loose deathsticks and then strangled him to death right in front of those cell phone cameras. Dick Tracey sure took care of him though. He sure does dislike corrupt cops. Detective Tracey sure is one o f the good ones. I can't believe our last customer Captain Cassian gunned Dick and Sir Winston down from behind like that; but I guess this is a deathmatch after all.

Bob: That fight between him and Attorney General Reno in her wooden armor was quite a sight to see though. Pretty random since the only people who would even understand that silly wooden armor reference aren't even in the FFL anymore. I guess they didn't have laser blasters in mind when they designed that armor. Probably worked just fine back in Waco though.

Linda: It's kind of scary that he is still here Bob. Cassian, I mean. He seems like a nice guy; but him and us being alive is probably the only reason the match hasn't ended yet. The kids and I are going to hang back; why don't you go and talk to him and see if we can end this terrible match?? I hope he doesn't murder you, Bob.

Bob: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.



Bob: Umm, Hello Captain Andor, how was your meal?? That's a really nice blaster you have on the counter. Can I get you anything else besides the check??

Cassian: No, thanks Bob. The burger was delicious. I'm really sorry I'm going to have to shoot you and your family now; but war does terrible things to people. I really can't tell you how much I enjoyed the food and the quaint atmosphere of your place though.

Bob: Thanks for the compliments Captain Andor. I figured you were going to say something like that. Which is why we poisoned your burger. You didn't really think my family and I weren't going to get at least one kill in our only home court advantage match did you?? You're going to die in about 15 seconds. Your bill comes to $11.47.

Pre-Season Democracy Match: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Empire

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Kingpin, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-girl, Robot Man, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Porky Pig, John Bennett & Ted, & Zombie #3-9.

The Empire is The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, & Raphael, w/ Casey Jones, Pinhead, Crash Bandicoot, & Knuckles.

Vote away:

Universe Bowl X

Midgets are: Magneto (4 death), Mr. Mxyztipk, Yoda (w/ white lantern ring), Omega Supreme (4 death), Neo (w/ 2 white lightsabers, 4 deaths), The Millennium Falcon (piloted by Han Solo(4 deaths), Chewbacca (4 deaths), Falco, Nightsister Acolyte), The Outrider (piloted by Lando Calrissean (4 death), Lobot (4 death)), Achilles, Queen Aga’po, Luminara Unduli (w/ GLR), Barriss Offee (w/ BLR), Indigo One & Monk, Sinestro (w/ Yellow and Green Lantern ring & a Star man), Darth Maul (w/ RLR), Star Wolf (w/ Double Red lightsaber) in a Sith Fighter, Star Fox (w/ Blue Lightsaber) in Arwing, Naxgul #9 on Fell Beast, Colonel James Monroe (W/ darksaber) On Nazgul#9’s Mordor Horse, Super Star destroyer (Piloted by President James Madison (w/speed ring), Peppy Hare, Vorian Atreides, Fantastic Max, AB, FX, Alexander the Great & Bucephalus), Apache Helicopter (Piloted by FA-4, Jimmy Olsen in a Tanooki Suit, Lois Lane (w/ cape feather) & Ewok #7), Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Duncan Idaho (the OG version), Black Dragon (4 death), X-23 (w/ Red Lightsaber), Starscream (w/Orange Lantern ring), Count Dooku (w/ Yellow Lantern ring), He-man with battle cat, Asajj Ventress in Stealth X-wing), Mother Talzin.

TEAM is: Superman (4 deaths), Superboy (4 deaths), Unicron, Primus, God Emperor Leto II, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Super Star Destroyer (piloted by General Grievous, Magnaguard #1-2 & Dave Bowman: the Starchild), Vulcan, Beta Ray Bill, Thanos (w/ Infinity Gauntlet and Power, Soul, Space & Reality stones), Darksol, Trygon, Seraph, Jedi Houslander family (Josh, Laya, Alex, Scarlett, Grayson and all their lightsabers), Astro-Train, Blitz-Wing, Titan #1-2, The Artrip Family (Chris in Tankooki Suit, Julie with Fire flower, Ella in a frog suit, Jack with the Racoon Leaf, Ben in a Goomba Sock, all riding in a Tank), Aircraft Carrier with Jack LaLane, Jet Li in Apache Helicopter & John Wayne in a biplane, Tripticon, Brunt, Full-tilt, Cybertronian Guardian #1-8), Sharkticon #1-4, Emerald Weapon.

In the Water...

Jack LaLane is barely breaking a sweat as he swims through the turbulent seas of the Playoff Planet II. Remarkable as the feat alone would be given his advanced age, what is more amazing is that he has rigged a harness around himself and is pulling an Aircraft Carrier across the sea. Sharkticons #1-4 flank LaLane as he swims. On deck, Jet Li and John Wayne are fueling up their aircrafts while Superman and Superboy stand at the bow reenacting the “King of the World” scene from Titanic. Even though spirits are high, the gravity of today’s match is not lost on the two Kryptonians as they both sit on their final death. When the time comes, these two will be ready. 

Closing in fast on the horizon comes the Midgets water team. Darth Maul and Luminara Unduli have constructed boats with their lantern rings. Dooku and Mother Talzin ride with Maul while Bariss Offee, He-man and Battle Cat ride with Unduli. X-23 rides on the back of Black Dragon. The two teams converge as Jet Li and John Wayne take to the sky. Jet Li begins to fire on the ships from his Apache Helicopter and He-man and Battle Cat are knocked into the sea where they are quickly eaten by the Sharkticons. Unduli and Offee bail and jump to the deck of the Aircraft Carrier. As the Sharkicons concentrate on their feast, Mother Talzin and Count Dooku are able to easily kill all 4 in the water as they pass by. As the dark side ship attempts to board the Carrier as well, John Wayne is nearing the end of his quick kamikaze run and is able to kill Mother Talzin before she can board the ship. The two jedi and two sith begin to battle with Superman and Superboy on the deck of the Aircraft carrier. The Black Dragon as well as JetLi circle overhead attempting to help their side. Jet Li is able to kill X-23 who falls from the dragon into the sea. The Black Dragon lights up the Apache and it goes down in an uncontrolled spiral, crashing on the deck of the ship where the Super duo have just bested Darth Maul. Recoiling to the sky, Super boy takes out the Black Dragon while Superman quickly blasts a hole into the deck of the ship causing the remaining Midgets to fall deep into the hull. The two then bombard the side of their own ship causing it to quickly fill with water and drag the trapped Midgets underwater to their death. LaLane tries to unfasten his harness and attempts to call out to his Super teammates. They seem to have forgotten about him as they fly off to fight another battle leaving the old man to thrash helplessly on the surface until he is slowly pulled under as well.

In the Arctic…

Magneto, Neo, Queen Aga’po and Achilles brave the frigid temps as they square off against Tripticon, Blunt, Full-tilt, Emerald Weapon, Darksol, Seraph and Trigon for TEAM. Neo has two white lightsabers today and after already fighting Seraph, is able to cut through him quickly on his way to kill the Emerald Weapon. Achilles charges at Darksol and after a brief struggle is defeated by the Shining Force devil king. Queen Aga’po tries to spread her message of love but Evil conquers good today as the Dark Lord Trigon fires a blast that tears her in two. Magneto pulls Full Tilt and Brunt to the sky and uses Brunt’s rockets to kill Dark Sol. He then turns the weapons on Tripticon who bats them out of the sky and destroys them. Magneto then turns his attention to the giant Transformer himself and attempts to restrain him while Neo is able to get on its head and kill the beast with his two lightsabers. Before they can regroup Trigon is able to get to Magneto and issue him his final death by bashing his skull and burning his corpse. This death takes time, which is easily manipulated by Neo who can decapitate the DC Supervillan and fly off to assist his team elsewhere. 

In the Desert…

“Fortunate Son” By CCR blares out the speakers in the Apache Helicopter piloted by a FA-4 droid. Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane sing along inside. The Houslander Family and the Artrip Family have already engaged the Midgets in battle. The Artrips are riding in a tank as the Jedi Houslanders along with Titans #1-2 and Cybertronian Guardian #1-8 charge after James Monroe (on Mordor Horse) Indigo One and Monk. Josh’s kids are able to chop the limbs off of Monk before they are executed by our 5th president who easily kills them with his darksaber. Josh avenges the death of his children but is then torn with guilt that a founding father died at his hands. In his distraction, he is murdered by Indigo One. Indigo One proceeds to kill Titans #1-2 while she and Nazgul #9 (who rides in on a Fellbeast) easily dispatch the Cybertronian Guardians #1-8. The Artrip Family barrels into the fight with the tank and fire shots at the Fellbeast until one finds its mark and downs the monster killing it and Nazgul #9 in the fall. God Emperor Leto II holds the Apache Helicopter still long enough for the Artrips to aim their cannon again and give the crew the Kobe Bryant treatment. The explosion is beautiful but shrapnel flies everywhere, disabling the tank and killing all but Chris (who turned to stone using his Tanooki suit) and Jack who flew away at the last second with his leaf. Ewok #7 was grabbed by Lois Lane at the last second and floated to safety using her cape feather. Ewok #7 and Jack, although “enemies” are both pacifists and decide that they would rather go play Legos so Jack uses his leaf again to fly the two of them both out of the match. Chris returns to his human form and is killed by Indigo-1 who is then destroyed by God Emperor Leto II. As Duncan Idaho charges after the son of Muad’dib, Leto decides he’s had enough of all this mess and commands the desert to swallow them both and all the deceased into the sand and return the surface as if nothing happened. 

Lois Lane was watching quietly and hiding over the crest of a nearby dune after escaping the crash. She was spared from the culling. As too was the Mordor Horse that was ridden by James Monroe earlier. She calmly mounts the steed and rides off. 

In Space…

“I got a bad feeling about this…” says Han to Chewie in the Falcon.

Around them outside, the carnage and debris of the recent space battle float outside the window. Both Teams had Super Star Destroyers and they pulled the Holdo Maneuver on each other leaving 4 halves of two ships floating outside with corpses everywhere. Dave Bowman the Starchild and Mr. Mxyztipk wisked themselves off to another plane of existence and now here they sat facing not one but two planet sized Transformers. Starscream leads the charge toward Unicron while Asajj Ventress a Stealth X wing, Star Wolf in a Sith Fighter, Lando and Lobot in the Outrider fly behind in a V pattern. Han and Chewie wait for the go ahead. Unicron takes out the sith Fighter while his brother Primus takes out The Outrider. Starscream unloads an enormous volley on Unicron who has to open up to attack with more firepower. Han and Chewie know this is their chance and fly into the heart of Unicron and rips the planet in two as it sacrifices itself by hitting hyperspace. Destroying both Unicron as well as themselves and the Falcon.

Primus has time during the attack to focus its attention on taking out Starscream as well as Asajj Ventress in the X wing. 

In The Forest…

Astro-Train and Blitz Wing tangle with Star Fox in an Arwing who goes down early. Omega Supreme is able to repay the favor and easily kill both of them with his rockets. Superman and Superboy arrive to help out and Superboy goes right for Omega Supreme blasting the Transformer with heat vision. Black Lantern Palpatine hits him with a bolt of lightning as Neo shows up and cuts his arms off before driving both white lightsabers into the back of Superboy and ending his FFL run. Enraged, Superman pummels Neo into the ground then throws him into the sun also sending him to the graveyard. Omega Supreme is damaged but not defeated while Beta Ray Bill and Optimus Prime try to finish the job. Omega is able to kill Roller and Bill but Optimus Prime is able to finish off his Autobot brother. 

Thanos is marching slowly toward Palpatine who is bombarding him with sith lightning. Thanos keeps going, arm raised letting the gauntlet take the entire brunt of the attack. Closer and closer he gets until he is close enough to reach out and grab the hands of Palpatine. The contact causes an explosion that sends them both backwards and trying to regain their balance. Sinestro uses Starman to become invincible for a few seconds and charges at the falen Thanos killing him. Once the star wears off, Superman is waiting to burn a hole in his chest within seconds. Palpatine still on his knees sends short, quick bolts of lightning toward the man of steel but his speed shows no signs of stopping. Dodging the blasts takes little effort and he freezes the Emperor solid and then punches his frozen body sending it shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

“Clark!”

…

“Clark! Are you there?”

Superman scans the area with Optimus Prime to find the source. He recognizes the voice and rushes to help Lois Lane who has showed up on her Nazgul horse. Clearly no threat, he helps her off the horse and holds her head in his lap on the ground. 

“Why are you here, Lois? What good are you in this fight? I refuse to kill you.”

“A distraction…” she answers, smiling wryly.

Superman recognizes his error a moment too late. Yoda drops from the tree above them both and before he hits the ground, he has relieved the Last Son of Krypton of his head. Immediately reacting, Optimus Prime sends every rocket he has completely obliterating Lois, Yoda and the Horse. 

Standing silent but on edge he scans the area again, this time with a more intense scrutiny. He is able to relax when he hears Primus tell him that was the last of the Midgets and their work here was done.

The Schedule

Pre-Season:
100 Points
Bob's Burgers
Prize: F-14
-TEAM Vs. The Genderless Shorties (Dave)
-Hungry Dino-Mites Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (con)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Empire (dem)
-Be Gentle Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (con)
-Better Than All of You Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (con)

Week 1:
75 Points
The Fortress of Solitude
Prize: F-18
-TEAM Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (dem)
-Hungry Dino-Mites Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (kyle)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Genderless Shorties (chris)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Dave)
-Be Gentle Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (con)
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Empire (Josh)

Week 2
220 Points
New York City
Prize: X-Wing
-TEAM Vs. The Empire (Josh)
-Hungry Dino-Mites Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (dem)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Genderless Shorties (ethan)
-Be Gentle Vs. George Washingtion's House Elves (con)
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

Week 3
475 Points
The Indian Ocean
Prize: Y-Wing
-TEAM Vs. Super Kitties (con)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Empire (kyle)
-Striders Vs. Sith Aids (Josh)
-Assassins Vs. Barkley (dem)
-Gentle Vs. Midgets (chris)
-Betters Vs. House Elves (josh)

Week 4
600 Points
Mordor
Prize: B-Wing
-TEAM Vs. House Elves (josh)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Kitties (josh)
-Striders Vs. Empire (chris)
-Assassins Vs. Sith Aids (con)
-Gentle Vs. Barkley (josh)
-Betters Vs. Midgets (Alex)

Week 5
800 Points
The Playoff Planet
Prize: TIE Interceptor
-TEAM Vs. Betters (dem)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Gentle (josh)
-Striders Vs. Assassins (Josh)
-House Elves Vs. Midgets (Ed)
-Kitties Vs. Barkley (Chris)
-Empire Vs. Sith Aids (con)

Week 6
450 Points
The Outer Rim
Prize: TIE Bomber
-TEAM Vs. Dino-Mites (kyle)
-Striders Vs. Gentle (ethan)
-Assassins Vs. Betters (con)
-House Elves Vs. Kitties (zack)
-Empire Vs. Barkley (Josh)
-Sith Aids Vs. Midgets (dem)

Week 7
325 Points
Geonosis
Prize: TIE Fighter
-TEAM Vs. Striders (dave)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Betters (zack)
-Assassins Vs. Gentle (josh)
-House Elves VS. Empire (con)
-Kitties Vs. Midgets (dem)
-Sith Aids Vs. Barkley (chris)

Week 8
200 Points
The Forest Moon of Endor
Prize: A-Wing
-TEAM Vs. Assassins (chris)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Striders (con)
-Betters Vs. Gentle (dem)
-House Elves Vs. Sith Aids (josh)
-Kitties Vs. Empire (ethan)
-Midgets Vs. Barkley (zack)

Week 9
55 Points
The Top of Titans Tower
Prize: Z-95 Headhunter
-TEAM Vs. Gentle (josh)
-Dino-Mites Vs. Assassins (kyle)
-Striders Vs. Betters (josh)
-House Elves Vs. Barkley (con)
-Kitties Vs. Sith Aids (dem)
-The Empire Vs. Midgets (chris)

The Draft

1 Avatar Aang (50)
2 Katara (25)
3 Toph Beifong (30)
4 Zuko (25)
5 Azula (25)
6 Iroh (30)
7 Firelord Ozai (35)
8 Soka, Suki, & Ty Lee (12, 28)
9 Avatar Korra (50)
10 Tanzin(25)
11 Jinora (25)
12 Mako (20)
13 Balin (25)
14 Amon (35)
15 Kuvira (25)
16 Zaheer (35)
17 Lin Beifong (25)
18 Desna & Eska (15, 24)
19 The Paw Patrol w/ vehicles (4, 12)
20 PJ Masks w/ Cat Car (4,8)
21 Jon Snow (30)
22 Arya Stark (30)
23 Daenyrus Targaryen w/ Drogon (45)
24 Jamie Lanister (30)
25 Ned Stark (29)
26 Robert Stark (29)
27 The Night King w/ 10 White Walkers (50, 55)
28 Gendry (27)
29 The Hound (Sandor Clegane) (32)
30 Brienne of Tarth (31)
31 Tormund Giantsbane (29)
32 The Mountain (Gregor Clegane) (34)
33 Bran Stark (35)
34 Josh Mormont (30)
35 Grey Worm (28)
36 10 Unsullied
37 Khal Drago (30)
38 10 Dothraki w/ horses
39 Robert Baratheon (20)
40 Oberyn Martell (30)
41 Cal Kestis, BD-1, Cere, & Greeze w/ The Mantis (20, 6, 15, 15, 45)
42 The Second Sister (20)
43 The Ninth Sister (20)
44 The Mandolorian, Baby Yoda, & Quill (20, 10, 6, 25)
45 Grandmaster Luke Skywalker (55)
46 Legends Leia Organa-Solo (40)
47 Ben Kenobi (40)
48 Yoda's Spirit (15)
49 The Wampa (20)
50 Hobby (8)
51 Bastilla Shan & Jolee Bindu (30, 30, 50)
52 Darth Malak (45)
53 Darth Revan (35)
54 (The Inquisitor (30)
55 Ben Quadrineros w/ Pod (8)
56 IG Bounty Hunter (18)
57 Qui Gonn's Spirit (14)
58 Dakka (4)
59 Capt. Typho (12)
60 Jolee Fishdo (25)
61 Galvatron w/ His Ship (50)
62 Cyclonus & His Armada (40, 20, 48)
63 Scourge (35)
64 The Sweeps (20, 35)
65 Rodimus Prime (50)
66 Soundblaster w/ Decepticon Cassette #1-3 (40)
67 Twincast w/ Autobot Cassette #1-3 & Fast Forward (40)
68 Pipes (35)
69 5 G0-Bots
70 Orion Pax (38)
71 A-3
72 Voltron (30, 70)
73 10 Eternian Soldiers
74 Starscream's Ghost (20)
75 Ebe Endecott w/ Pod (8)
76 Ratts Tyrelle w/ Pod (8)
77 Mr. Methan (6)
78 Kister & Wald (3,5)
79 Chian (12)
80 Dick Tracey (12)
81 Earth 2 Superman (64)
82 Superboy (55)
83 Emperor Joker (45)
84 White Lantern Hal Jordan (45)
85 Green Lantern Sinestro (38)
86 Earth 2 Batman & Earth 2 Catwoman w/ O.G. Batmobile (34, 20, 45)
87 Batman (Dick Grayson) & Robin (Damien Wayne) (32, 20, 47)
88 Red X (20)
89 Batgirl (Cassandra Cain (20)
90 Spoiler (20)
91 Archangel (35)
92 Mar-Vel (40)
93 Thunderbird (28)
94 Banshee (28)
95 Sunfire (29)
96 Symbiote Suit Spider-Man (29)
97 The X-Babies (8 of them) (7 each)
98 Onslaught (48)
99 Thunderstrike (42)
100 Ragnarok (40)
101 Dry Bones w/ Kart (7)
102 King Hippo (10)
103 10 Fire Bros.
104 10 Boomerang Bros.
105 5 Giant Hammer Bros.
106 Kamek (20)
107 Larry Koopa (10)
108 Roy Koopa (12)
109 Lemmy Koopa (12)
110 Wendy Koopa (12)
111 Iggy Koopa (12)
112 Morton Koopa (12)
113 Ludwig Von Koopa (14)
114 Bowser Jr. (14)
115 K.C. Munchkin (12)
116 Mega Man X (20)
117 Earthworm Jim (15)
118 Enceladus (35)
119 Angrboda (35)
120 Romeo (10)
121 Mighty Artrip Power Rangers w/ Artifact Zords (6, 25)
122 Clan Hernandez w/ Simon's Tooth (6, 15)
123 Dave Parks “Prime”: A Touch of Gray w/ Custom Model T (6)
124 Josh N' Kids Full Spectrum Lantern Crew w/ Couch Spaceship (6, 25)
125 Kyle & Zack Houslander: Young Jedi Knights w/ Jedi Starfighters (6, 10)
126 Ethan: Galactic Bounty Hunter w/ Rodian Pride
127 John Zacharski: Nightbrother w/ rebuilt TIE Fighter
128 Larry Reamer: Fremen Warrior
129 Super Saiyan: Conner Weidman w/ Overpriced Mazda
130 Jedi Master Joe Levine w/ Nightsister Kelly, & escaped Youngling Abby w/ stolen YT-2400 (6, 10)
131 The Veggie-Bots: Target Master Gestalt TEAM (Merge to form: Edwinator) w/ Autobot Space Shuttle (6, 25)
132 Aaron Griswold: Confederate Sith Assassin w/ “Rebel Lee Paint Job” Chevy S10
133 Bryan Beckerman & Fred Baker: The Ambiguously Even Gayer Duo (6, 10)
134 Nolan Peterson & Austin Perrison: Sith Lord Bros
135 JediRyan (6)
136 Mike Geney: Jedi Knight (6)
137 Agent 47 (20)
138 David son of Jesse (15)
139 Goliath of Gath (30)
140 Tyrion Lannister (8)
141 John Schlade w/ Turbo deactivated Dodge Daytona (6)
142 Mike “Winnie the Dump” Shinsky (6)
143 Post-Porch Zombie Al Dogg (6)
144 John Turner w/ Air Ford One (6)
145 Nick & Stacy Hutchens (6, 10)
146 Kyle's Homeboy Frank (6)
147 Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad (6)
148 MortonDowney Jr. (6)
149 Robert Downey Jr. (6)
150 Demolition (Ax, Smash, & Crush) (6, 12)
151 John Quincey Adams (6)
152 Andrew Jackson (6)
153 Bernie Sanders (6)
154 Alexandria Occassio Cortez (6)
155 Mike Bloomberg (6)
156 Harry, Meggan, & Archie (6, 10)
157 Prince Andrew & Jeffrey Epstein (6, 10)
158 Pope Innocent III (6)
159 Janet Reno w/ Wooden Armor (7)
160 Harambe (10)
161 George “The Animal” Steel (6)
162 Green Day (6, 10)
163 Mike Tyson (7)
164 Juwan Howard (6)
165 The Wagner Brothers (6, 10)
166 Albert Einstein (8)
167 Niccolo Tesla (8)
168 Elon Musk w/ Truck, Car, & Flamethrower
169 10 Sentinels
170 3 Bene Gesserit Reverend Mothers
171 10 Baby Sandworms
172 10 Sand Trout
173 Rick & Morty
174 Mr, Poopy Butthole
175 Bob's Burger's Family (6, 12)
176 The Noid (8)
177 Napoleon Dynamite (6)
178 3 New Sisterhood Sisters
179 Leto II
180 Allia Atreides (child Reverend Mother) (12)
181 Venom (Flash Thompson) (30)
182 Green Goblin (30)
183 Iron Patriot (32)
184 Giant Man (36)
185 Ant Man & Wasp (18, 18, 32)
186 Bucky (20)
187 Kingpin (20)
188 Lady Deadpool, Kidpool, Dogpool, & Headpool (25, 20, 6, 3, 43)
189 Stan Lee (6)
190 Spider Miles (25)
191 Capt. Marvel Family (35, 75)
192 Flash (Wally West) (32)
193 Impulse (30)
194 Blood Work (25)
195 2 OA Guardians
196 Green Lantern Penguin (25)
197 Blue Beetle (29)
198 The Thinker (20)
199 Cicada (45)
200 Savitar (40)

1 Green Lantern Ring
2 Indigo Lantern Ring
3 Blue Lantern Ring
4 Red Lantern Ring
5 Star Sapphire Ring
6 2 Black Lantern Rings
7 Black Lantern Ring
8 Black Lantern, Zombie, Vampire Combo (served with beans & Spanish Rice)
9 2 Zombie bites
10 Zombie Bite
11 2 Vampire Bites
12 Vampire Bite
13 Resurrect 3 Characters
14 Resurrect 2 Characters
15 Resurrect a Character
16 Resurrect a Character
17 100 Resurrections Points
18 75 Resurrection Points
19 2 X-Wings
20 2 TIE Fighters
21 A-Wing
22 Z-95 Headhunter
23 Luke's Snowspeeder
24 Wedge's Snowspeeder
25 Hobby's Snowspeeder
26 B-Wing
27 TIE Interceptor & TIE Bomber
28 Princess Leia's Stealth X-Wing
29 Double Blue Lightsaber
30 Harley Davidson
31 2 Seater Y-Wing
32 2 2 Seater Y-Wings
33 2 Y-Wing Bombers
34 Y-Wing Bomber
35 Princess Leia's Y-Wing
36 Original Iron Man Suit (silver)
37 O.G. Iron Man Suit (gold)
38 Arwing
39 2 Arwings
40 Landmaster
41 Ducatti
42 Capt. Latin America's 4-Wheeler
43 Bottomless Stomach's Food Truck & Kid Nee's Mo-Ped
44 Cannon Man's Tanki-copter
45 The 7 Rings of the Dwarf Lords
46 A Dragon Lance
47 Adamantium Skeleton
48 Broccoli (3 uses)
49 3 Vimana
50 German U-Boat
51 2 F-16s
52 2 F-14s
53 2 F-18s
54 Apache Helicopter
55 Gwildore's Car
56 The A-Team Van
57 Robin-1
58 Knight Rider
59 Miami Vice Ferrari
60 The General Lee
61 The Poop Mobile
62 The Mars Rover
63 3 Lamborghinis
64 3 Ferraris
65 3 Mustangs (mix up the decades)
66 Cyclop's Motorcycle
67 Cyclop's Car
68 A Mechanical Dragon
69 2 Micro-Nukes
70 Frog Suit
71 Tanooki Suit
72 Hammer Bros. Suit
73 Fireflower
74 The Milennium Chowder
75 The Pimpmobile

FFL National League Finals

The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People: Magneto, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Yoda w/ a white lantern ring, Vampire Batman, Omega Supreme, Neo w/ 2 whie lightsabers, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Alf and Slippy Toad in the Millenium Falcon, Lando, Nien Numb, Lobot and Falcon in the Outlaw, Achilles, Queen Aga’Po, Luminara w/ a green lantern ring, Barriss Offee w/ a blue lantern ring, Indigo-1 and Munk, Sinestro w/ a yellow and green lantern ring, Darth Maul w/ a red lantern ring, Star Wolf w/ a double red lightsaber in a sith fighter, Star Fox w/ a blue lightsaber in a Z-95 Headhunter, X-23 w/ a Red Lightsaber, Nazgul #9 on a Fell Beast, Colonel James Monroe(offensive coordinator) w/ a darksaber on Mordor Horse #9, Peppy Hare, Vorian, Atriedes, Alexander the Great, Bucephalus, (wartime President) James Madison (Defensive Coordinator/Central Command, w/ a Speed Ring), Fantastic Max, FX, and AB in a Star Destroyer, Starscream w/ an orange lantern ring, Count Dooku w/ a yellow lantern ring, Black Dragon #1, FA-4, Jimmy Olsen (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Lois Lane (w/ a cape feather), & Ewok #9 in an Apache Helicopter.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters: Abeloth, Supergirl, Power Girl, Polaris, Scarlet WItch, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Hades, Ocean Master, Aqua Lad, Starfire, Blackfire, Red Hood & Katniss Everdeen (in Mandalorian Armor) in a Snow Speeder ,Arsenal & Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder ,Princess Leia (w/ a Speed Ring) & Piplup (w/ an Ice Flower) in a Snow Speeder ,Captain Steven Hiller & Romeo (in a Tanooki Suit) in a Snow Speeder, Captain Jimmy Wilder & Juliet (in a Goomba Sock) in a Snow Speeder, Darth Traya w/ a red lantern ring, Iron Giant, Green Arrow and Black Canary in an Apache Helo, Hawkeye in a Sith Fighter, Raven, Tybalt in a Vibranium Suit, Medusa and Dracula

Up In the Air:

The Evil Midgets have the Millenium Falcon, The Outlaw, Star Wolf in a Sith Fighter, Star Fox in a Z-95 Headhunter, a Star Destroyer, Starscream and an Apache Helicopter. While the Kitty Sisters have Super Girl, Hawkeye in a Sith Fighter, an Apache Helicopter with Green Arrow and Black Canary in it, Red Hood and Katniss in a Snow, speeder, Captain Steve Hiller and Romeo in a Snowspeeder, Arsenal and Mr. Spock in a Snowspeeder, Princess Leia and Piplup w/ an Ice Flower in a Snowspeeder, and Captain Jimmy Wilder and Juliet w/ a Gumba Sock in a Snowspeeder. The Evil Midgets come flying out of their Star Destroyer with a volley of laser blasts coming from the Star Destroyer taking out Captain Steve Hiller and Romeo’s Snowspeeder. The two teams then get into an all out space battle. Han and Chewie’s Millennium Falcon and Lando’s Outlaw make a great team taking out Hawkeye’s Sith Fighter, Arsenal and Mr. Spock’s Snowspeeder, Red Hood and Katniss’s Snowspeeder, and Green Arrow and Black Canary’s Apache Helicopter (because they are the shitty CW version). But the Kitty Sisters haven’t given up yet, Princess Leia’s Snowspeeder and Captain Jimmy Wilder’s Snowspeeder take out the Evil Midget’s Apache Helicopter, but then are defeated by Star Wolf and Star Fox in their respective ships shortly there after. As the Midgets just had the superior pilots and ships.  

In the Forest:

The Super Kitties are Abeloth and Darth Traya w/ a Red Lantern Ring. The Little People are Yoda w/ a White Lantern Ring, Darth Maul w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Luminara Unduli w/ a green lantern ring, Barriss Offee w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, nazgul #9 on his Fell Beast and Count Dooku w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring. Yoda and Count Dooku who are on opposite sides of the force decide to take on a greater threat to the force in Abeloth, Nazgul #9 also joins them while Maul, Barriss and Luminara try to fight Traya. Abeloth begins the battle by using the force to pull trees thousands of years old out of the ground and throwing them at the trio of Yoda, Dooku, and Nazgul #9 in which Yoda and Dooku both use their lightsabers to cut them in half to dodge the trees while the Nazgul’s Fell Beast is impaled by a tree and the Nazgul has fallen to the ground. Abeloth then proceeds to shoot the Nazgul with force lightning causing him to catch on fire and perish. Yoda and Dooku then blast energy beams from their rings and Abeloth uses more uprooted trees to protect herself from the trees causing a loud boom, like that of a tree being struck by lightning. Yoda and Dooku then begin to attack Abeloth with a combo of their lightsabers and lantern rings and after a few minutes it finally became too much for Abeloth and she was defeated. But Dooku was heavily injured in the battle and was laying on the ground in great pain. Meanwhile Traya is fighting the three force users using a deadly combo of her three lightsabers and Red Lantern Ring. Luminara sees that Traya is starting to focus more on Barriss so Luminara sacrifices herself by taking a shot from Traya’s Red Lantern Ring that would of killed her padawan. After defeating Abeloth, Yoda notices that Luminara has died and that Maul and Barriss are struggling and decides to help. Darth Maul notices that Yoda is coming behind Traya slowly, but Yoda can’t attack because Traya has surrounded herself with a shield using her Red Lantern Ring. Darth Maul decides to distract Traya by doing a jumping attack with his Red Lantern Ring causing the shield to stop for just enough time for Yoda to come up behind and do an energy blasts with his White lantern Ring that kills Traya. When Yoda goes to look at Darth Maul he notices that Maul has been cut in half by one of Traya’s three lightsabers. Then out of nowhere Han and Chewie pull up in the Millenium Falcon saying “Get In! The rest of the team’s gonna need our help in the city.” They all get in the Falcon except Maul. Barriss uses the Blue Lantern Ring to heal Dooku back into fighting shape.

In the Ocean:

The Super Kitties are Ocean Master and Aqua Lad. They notice that there is no one in the ocean for them to fight so they join the rest of the Evil Kitties in the city.

In the City:

The Evil Midgets have Magneto, Mr Mxyzptlk, Vampire Batman, Omega Supreme, Neo w/ 2 White Light sabers, Achilles, Queen Aga’Po, Indigo-1 and Munk, Sinestro w/ Yellow and Green Lantern Ring, X-23 w/ a Red Light Saber, Colonel James Monroe w/ a DarkSaber on a Mordor horse, Starscream w/ an Orange Lantern Ring and Black Dragon #1. The Orange Kitties have Supergirl, Power Girl, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, Iron Giant, Raven, Tybalt in a Vibranium Suit, Medusa and Dracula. This battle in the city will be the closest and most intense match that I will have watched in my short career as a watcher. As the two teams start settling into the city Magneto sees the Iron Giant and with one quick flick of his wrist, crushes the Iron Giant into the size of a pop can. Polaris does the same to Omega Supreme. Starscream sees what has happened to his fellow Transformer and proceeds to run away and protect himself with a shield using his Orange Lantern Ring before Polaris does the same to him. Supergirl and Power Girl see this and decide to shoot a powerful beam of lasers from both of their eyes towards magneto, but thankfully Sinestro and Indigo-1 use their rings to make a shield protecting Magneto. Magneto and Polaris then begin to have an intense and emotional magnetic power duel, throwing every piece of metal at each other that they can find including frames of buildings and cars. Neo is fighting Supergirl in a battle for the ages, Mr. Mxyzptlk is messing with Power Girl using his powers to just annoy the absolute crap out of her, Black Widow and Achilles are fighting with their mere human powers, Scarlet Witch and Spider-Man are fighting against Indigo-1 and Munk, Starfire and her sister are fighting Sinestro, and Hades is dealing with the Black Dragon.

Vampire Batman sees that Neo is getting nowhere with his fight against Supergirl as his lightsabers are not able to damage her, so vampire Batman gives Neo a piece of Kryptonite for Neo to put in one of his White Lightsabers and then he is finally able to defeat Supergirl with one fell swoop of his blade. After that Dracula shows who the true Vampire is and kills Vampire Batman. Black Widow is able to kill Achilles by shooting him in his one weak spot the Achilles Heel with one of her Glock 26’s, Munk kills Spider-Man which enrages Scarlet Witch (like to the point of “You took everything from me” mad from Endgame) and she lifts Munk up into the air with her powers and rips him in half, but this makes her vulnerable to Indigo-1 as the Indigo Ring bearer shoots her with a blast from her Indigo Lantern Ring. Meanwhile Sinestro is surprised as to how powerful the Fire Sisters are and decides to call for help from Indigo-1. As soon as Indigo-1 shows up she is killed by Blackfire as she was exhausted from her battle with Scarlet Witch. 

After Magneto and Polaris have torn up a whole block of the city fighting each other, Magneto finally kills his daughter as he has had much more time honing his skills then her. Even though it is Magneto’s daughter, he is willing to do anything to help The Brotherhood, or in this case The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People. Ocean Master and Aqua Lad have just burst into the battle riding a wave into the city. Aqua Lad sees X-23 standing in the city wondering what a little girl is doing in this battle scene. He goes to ask her what she is doing there and then X-23 stabs him through his heart with her lightsaber. Ocean Master proceeds to attack Magneto after seeing all the damage this one man has done. He takes a stab with his Trident towards Magneto, but Magneto just snaps it in half with his mutant powers. So Ocean Master just punches Magneto thirty feet into the air, landing onto a broken metal I-Beam that has stabbed through the center of his torso. This gives X-23 flashbacks of when her beloved friend Logan was killed, causing her to go on a rampage, she runs up behind Ocean Master and cuts him in half with her lightsaber, she then proceeds to kill Black Widow and Tybalt before Raven uses her telekinesis to throw multiple I-Beams at X-23, basically surrounding X-23 in a cage and then using her powers of the darkness to vaporize X-23. Raven sees that Sinestro has just killed Starfire using a combined energy blast from his Yellow and Green Lantern Ring. This causes Raven to go into her full anger mode as she goes to try and kill Sinestro. As she is flying to SInestro Queen Aga’Po goes to try and stop her but is defeated easily by Raven.

After easily defeating Queen Aga’Po, Raven and BlackFire team up and attempt to finally take out Sinestro. Sinestro is using both his Green and Yellow Lantern Ring to protect himself with a shield while Blackfire and Raven are giving it everything got to try and kill Sinestro. Sinestro is visibly weak at this point and just as he is about to lose from physical exhaustion. You hear a large blasts and you see that The Millenium Falcon and The Outlaw fly bye. Blackfire, Raven and Sinestro have been vaporized by the blasts from the from the ships. Star Fox and Star Wolf come flying in not too shortly after them as a breath of new life has been shot into the Midgets Squad. The Millenium Falcon drops off the Force Users from the ship. Star Fox and Star Wolf shoot blasts from their ships killing Medusa and Dracula. But this breath is short lived, as Power Girl is able to escape from Mr. Mxyzptlk’s annoyance for a minute as she goes and kills The Falcon, Outlaw and both Star Fox and Star Wolf. In doing so she uses the smoke from the ships she destroyed to write Mr. Mxyzptlk’s name backwards in the sky causing him to be sent back to his dimension. She then flies through the center of the Star Destroyer while using her heat vision to easily destroy the ship. Half of the Star Destroyer fell onto the city killing Colonel James Monroe and Barriss Offee as the weight was just too much for the padawan to be able to hold with her force abilities.

Meanwhile, Hades was able to take care of the Black Dragon and sent the dragon to the deepest parts of the underworld.

All that’s left standing is Neo, Yoda and Dooku versus Power Girl and Hades. Neo and Powergirl go flying up into the air having a spectacular battle while Yoda uses his White Lantern Ring to send Hades back to the underworld, but not before Hades kills Dooku by sending him to the Underworld. Yoda then uses his White Lantern Ring to fly up and join Neo in the battle with Power Girl. As Power Girl is much faster than both Neo and Yoda she grabs Neo and throws him threw multiple buildings until Neo is to beat up to defend himself and is eventually killed when Power Girl snaps his neck using her bear hands. But while she beating on Neo Yoda picked up Neo’s lightsaber with the kryptonite crystal in it. After Neo’s death, Power Girl shoots her heat vision at Yoda and he absorbs it with the force and then using the power that he just absorbed, he attacks Power Girl with a flurry of attacks with his saber that she dodges all but the last one as her head is cut clean off.