Season 4, Week 4 Match: The Syracuse Valley vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

“I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.”

-Jack Sparrow

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 4 Match located in the Indian Ocean. They are as follows:

The Syracuse Valley-Venus Demilo, Xenomorph Aliens #97-100, Godzooky, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1, Go-Bot #1, Navy Sailors #61-66, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Cosmic Spider-Man, Gremlins #1 and 2, Sub-Zero, Rayne, Eggplant Wizard and Teddy Boy.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family-
Capt. Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolenczak, Dr. Westphalen, Commander John Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Crocker, Tim O'Neil, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo in The Seaquest DSV 4600, Sea Worms #7 and 8, Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Black Lantern Hydro-Man, Jack Sparrow, Xenomorph Alien #51, Darwin, Patrick Star, Mr. Eugene Crabs, Black Lantern Kilowog, Wario, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar and Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, N.S.-5 #35 and Smurfette.

Let the battle begin. . .

Under the water. . .

Darwin the Dolphin swims to the Seaquest vessel. He looks for the special hatch which allows him to freely enter into the ship. As Darwin swims to the special bay, he is met by Navy Sailors #61-66. The Sailors took advantage of the opening and arrived before Darwin was able to enter and more importantly, before the dolphin is able to voice a warning to his crewmates.

Darwin: Oh no! This is like “The Cove” all over again.

Navy Sailors #61-66 unload their weapons into the dolphin. The bloodied remains of the creature are sprayed across the causeway. Navy Sailors #61-66 then race toward the hallways of the ship. Meanwhile, Xenomoph Aliens #97-100 have entered into the bay. The Aliens scan the foyer and locate the ducts. As the Sailors rush through the Seaquest, they seek and destroy Dr. Westphalen, Tim O’Neil and Lt. Benjamin Krieg. The valiant Seaquest crew manages to kill Navy Sailors #61, 63 and 64 before their own deaths. The remaining Sailors #62, 65 and 66 are killed by the combined firepower of Commander John Ford, Lt. James Brady, Chief Manilow Crocker, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo. As the remaining Seaquest crew members head toward the bridge, Xenomorph Aliens #97-100 burst from the ducts. The Aliens rip apart Commander John Ford, Chief Manilow Crocker, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo, but Xenomorphs #97 and 100 die in the melee. Xenomorphs #98 and 99 locate Captain Nathan Bridger and Lucas Wolenczak on the bridge. Xenomorph #98 spews its acid at Wolenczak and burns the young man’s leg. Wolenczak screams and Bridger rushes to his side. The two attempt to escape and trip. The Xenomorphs are upon them. Bridger takes out a grenade and pulls the pin. Bridger looks longingly at Wolenczak.

Wolenczak: I know. . . .

The grenade’s explosion takes out Bridger, Wolenczak and Xenomorphs #98 and 99. The glass on the bridge cracks at the concussion and water begins to flood the submarine. As the Seaquest begins to falter, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1 and Go-Bot #1 swarm the submarine. The robotic force slowly rips apart the submarine. The submarine’s destruction is too much and eventually it implodes. Unfortunately for the Valleyites, Decepticon #1, Decepticon Decoy #1 and Go-Bot #1 are destroyed in the impact of the implosion.

On the water. . .

Sub-Zero uses his powers to create a frozen flotilla for his team to gather on. Venus Demilo, Gremlins #1 and 2, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Rayne, Eggplant Wizard and Teddy Boy join the Mortal Kombateer. The flotilla is boarded by members of the Kitties- Jack Sparrow, Xenomorph Alien #51, Patrick Star, Mr. Eugene Crabs, Wario, N.S.-5 #35 and Smurfette. Sparrow steps in front of his teammates.

Rayne: Woof. Now there is a distinctive aroma. Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow

Rayne immediately unleashes her sword and a pitched battle between Sparrow and Rayne ensues. Meanwhile, Teddy Boy uses his gun and shoots Xenomorph Alien #51. The Alien shrugs off the shot and rips Teddy Boy apart.

Wario: No dice, Teddy Boy!

Wario is attacked by the Eggplant Wizard. Wario attempts to leap out of the way of the Eggplant Wizard’s blasts, but his shoes are transformed into eggplants. Wario slips on the ice and skids into Gremlins #1 and 2, who are knocked into the water. From the water explodes an army of Gremlins. The Gremlins, including their leaders #1 and #2, storm onto the ice. They overtake Patrick Star and Eugene Crabs. The Spongebob Squarepants allies do not stand a chance and are ripped apart. Gremlin #1 pushes the pieces of Eugene Crabs in its mouth.

Gremlin #1: Yaauuucckk! Treif!

Above the water. . .

Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring) and Black Lantern Kilowog face off against Cosmic Spiderman. Ramona Flowers and Black Lantern Kilowog combine their lantern powers and repeatedly shoot constructs at Cosmic Spiderman. The enhanced senses of Cosmic Spiderman allow him to easily avoid all projectiles. Cosmic Spiderman then uses his ability to manipulate energy and blasts the two. They are ripped apart and both Ramona Flowers and Black Lantern Kilowog are no more.

On the water. . .

Wario jumps back on the flotilla and the waters cause Jack Sparrow to accidentally slip on the ice. The pirate miraculously manages to slice through the legs of Rayne. Rayne screams in pain and frustration at the fact that she was bested by a mascara-eyed pirate. Rayne is not able to gain her footing as Alien Xenomorph #51 jumps on her and rips her head off. The Toxic Avenger stares at the Xenomorph.

Toxic Avenger: No ticky! No washy!

The Toxic Crusaders come to the aid of the Toxic Avenger, hearing his battle cry. They surround and eventually overcome Xenomorph Alien #51. Smurfette is ripped apart by the Gremlins while the NS-5 #35 faces against the Eggplant Wizard and snaps his neck. As the next round is about to commence on the immense, icicled flotilla, a gaping maw is seen below as Sea Worm #7 reaches the site. In one fell swoop, Sea Worm #7 engulfs Venus Demilo, all Gremlins (including #1 and #2), Sub-Zero, Wario, The Toxic Avenger, The Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Junkyard, Head Banger and Major Disaster, Jack Sparrow and N.S.-5 #35. Jack Sparrow can be heard while rolling down Seaworm #7’s gullet, musing about how he escaped the Kraken once before. The creature moves back below the surface.

Above the water. . .

Cosmic Spiderman decides on a desperate act. He knows that the Kryptonian Kitties are probably more than a match for his remaining team. Thus, he uses all of his cosmic powers to rip into the atmosphere and change the sun’s disposition, which, in turn, will affect the powers of the Superman Emergency Squad. Cosmic Spiderman falls to the waters below and lies unconscious at the energy spent to conduct such an act. Fortunately for his teammates, his act will be worth the power expenditure since the Kryptonians will not be able to imbibe the powers through the Sun anymore.

Under the water. . .

Seaworm #7 begins to writhe in agony. An immense frozen area is displayed on the Seaworm’s body. Pieces of the iced monster break off and eventually the behemoth is ripped apart. Bursting forth from the mortally wounded Seaworm #7 is Sub-Zero and Jack Sparrow. The two combatants rise to the surface. They see Cosmic Spiderman rise from the water to the air above.

Seaworm #8 notices its dead brethren sinking to the bottom of the ocean. As it is about to rise and swallow the miniscule Sub-Zero and Jack Sparrow, it is hit, full force, by the entire remaining Transformers- Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill and Movie Ravage. The Transformers chip away at the Seaworm #8, little by little, until the monster dies in the throes of agony.

On the water. . .
In the water. . .

The now weakened Superman Emergency Squad #1-5 face off against Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage. The Kryptonians and Transformers pummel one another. At the end of the battle, the entire Superman Emergency Squad #1-5 is killed. In addition, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill and Movie Ravage are destroyed.

Above the water. . .

Godzooky sees the remaining Superman Emergency Squad- Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar and attempts to breathe fire at the Kryptonians. Although they are weakened due to the atmospheric conditions and lack of strengthening Sun, they are still easily able to kill Godzooky. Cosmic Spiderman comes to the scene and is ready to dispel with the final Superman Squad members. As he is about to enter into battle, he is struck by an immense water projectile caused by Black Lantern Hydro Man. BL Hydro Man pummels Cosmic Spiderman, who is already weakened due to the previous application of his powers. As BL Hydro Man is about to deliver a crushing blow, he freezes in place. Sub-Zero uses his powers to freeze BL Hydro Man. Sub-Zero then swims over to BL Hydro Man and crushes his ring. BL Hydro Man becomes one with the waters around him. Don-El takes revenge and kills Sub-Zero in an instant.

The final melee. . .

Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak and Cosmic Spider-Man face off against Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar. After the battle finishes, Cosmic Spiderman is the only individual to stand. All others die in the battle, being Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Don-El, Van-Zee and Vitar.

Jack Sparrow is seen swimming in the waters below. Cosmic Spiderman faces the pirate.
Cosmic Spiderman: You look like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Lepew.

Sparrow: We are very much alike you and I, I and you. . . us.

Cosmic Spiderman: We may be alike, but we’re also very different.

Sparrow: How so?

Cosmic Spiderman zaps Sparrow and the pirate is blasted to bits.

Cosmic Spiderman: You’re dead. . .

The Syracuse Valley: Cosmic Spiderman survives.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: All dead.

THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!!!