Season 4 Week 4: Built Ford Tough vs The Untouchables

Built Ford Tough is:
Aslan the Lion
-The Beatles: John, Paul, George, & Ringo
-Darkwing Duck
-Dawson, Pacy, & Joey
-Diego & Baby Jaguar (their backpack turns into a boat)
-Firestorm
-Black Lantern Dumbledore
-Fantastic Max, FX, & AB
-Dr. Who
-Piermont "Piney" Winston, Quinn, Clarence "Clay" Morrow, Jury, Seamus Ryan, Jackson "Jax" Teller, Needles, Alexander "Tig" Trager, Kozik, Robert "Baby Elvis" Munson, Happy, "Big Otto" Delaney, Lenny "The Pimp" Janowitz, Juan Carlos "Juice" Ortiz, Filip "Chibs" Telford, Harry "Opie" Winston, & Donut.
-Black Lantern Han Solo & Zombie Chewbacca in Air Wolfe
-Han Solo: Rogue Jedi & Cowboy Curtis in a Snow Speeder
-Zombie Rob Bartlett
-The Energizer Bunny
-Archie the Octo-Spider


The Untouchables Are:
Aang (the last airbender)
Katara (waterbender)
Fathom Five: Bloodtide, Dragonrider, Llyron, Manowar & Sea Leopard
Captain Cold
Zombie Michelangelo
Emperor Han
Soranik Natu
Bodikka
Broadside
Siryn
Kryptonian Army Soldier #4
Navy S.E.A.L. Chief Petty Officer #13
Navy S.E.A.L. #38, 39, 40, 41, 42, & 43


We begin with Firestorm, sitting indian style while his team furiously plans for battle. Strategies are being drawn up by the Sons of Anarchy. The Doctor has been kind enough to invite everyone into the TARDIS (no. You’re a tardis!) The TARDIS is floating safely above the waves while they plan… (nobody knows how it works, don’t worry about it.)

“Alright guys” says Firestorm “I’m gonna head up top and catch some rays.”
The rest of the team is irritated with firestorms lack of focus but a fight needs soldiers and anybody will do.

Soranik Natu silently flies up behind Firestorm who is lounging on top of the TARDIS and, using a green energy scalpel, she pierces the armor of his containment suit.
“Oh god… first Japan, now this, people are never going to trust nuclear energy again!” Firestorm saves his team mates Identity Crisis Style by flying away at top speed before his suit completely fails to contain his power causing a meltdown that would vaporize everyone in the fight.
His escape path lands him directly in the home of Chris Seeney the resulting explosion causes the first Watcher death in league history.
“Well that was a Nasty piece of business.” said Captain Cold.
“Couldn’t be helped Len.” Soranik replied “I detest laziness; I suppose I am my father’s daughter after all.”

“Could we speed this up? “ said Bodikka, who had been tasked with keeping all the non flying or swimming members of the Untouchables out of the water. “I’ve only got so much juice in this thing.
“Let me fix that…” said Captain cold”
Captain cold proceeded to use his ice guns to freeze a 6 foot deep layer of ice across the surface of the Indian Ocean. The Ice spanned from the base of the TARDIS all the way back behind the Untouchables as far as the horizon.
“Nice work!” said Bodikka who gently placed everyone down on the ice.
While they were all preening about the incredible amount of Ice that Captain Cold had produced… the door of the Tardis flew open and the Sons of Anarchy came bursting out on their motorcycles.
Most of the Sons bikes became sleds immediately, flopping over onto their sides and sliding towards the Untouchables at an incredible rate of speed…
The sons (all except Piney because he rides a Trike) dug their boots into the ice letting the bikes slide freely away from them. The bikes (and Piney) went crashing into Zombie Michelangelo (kowabunga dude) and the Navy S.E.A.L.S. who were too slow to react, Killing them all.
Unfortunately for the sons, still laying on the ground and cheering, the Fathom Five chose that moment to burst through the ice and drag them all under.
Kitara seized that moment to bring a giant wall of ice cold water up from the cracks in the ice and fling it towards her opponents. The ice water coated the Airwolf helicopter and captain cold Blasted it with both of his cold guns.

The water re-froze immediately seizing the rotors of the chopper and causing it to spiral madly out of control.

The Helicopter slammed into the ice, killing Aang and Kitara. And causing the chunk of ice that Built Ford Tough was standing on to tilt dizzyingly dumping everyone off their feet...

As they began their slide into the icy waters, the fathom five re-surfaced, waiting for their next victims to slide into their waiting arms. Rather than resign himself to death, the energizer bunny headed up hill. His team mates grabbed on to him and each other as he kept going, and going, and going, up the hill dragging them all to safety and re-leveling the tilting platform.

The slamming of the giant ice platform back to horizontal launched the fathom five high into the air. They landed in a heap, dying on impact and killing Broadside and Captain Cold in the process.

First to recover from their near death experience on the ice is Black Lantern Dumbledore. “Avada Kadavra!” he shouted and a twisted black and green bolt of energy slammed into Soranik Natu ending her life. “Crucio!!” he shouted at the Kryptonian who crumples into a bloody ball at his feet. “Sectum Sempra!” he shouts at Bodikka who’s armored robotic body shrugged off the spell. She flies up to him and snaps his frail neck. Leaving him gurgling and broken on the ice.

Zombie Rob Bartlett somehow managed to sneak up on Siryn while all this was going on, her screams of pain as he bit into her skull burst the eardrums and scrambled the brains of Dawson Pacey and Joey killing them instantly, a slow trickle of blood running from their noses.

Aslan Easily tears Emperor Han to shreds leaving him tattered and bent, the ice now steaming with the blood of the fallen.

His victory roar splits the ice, sending John, Paul, George, and Ringo to a watery grave.

“Who is bigger than Jesus now huh?” says Aslan as the battle comes to a close.


Built Ford Tough is victorious!
The Untouchables are all dead

Aslan the Lion, Darkwing Duck, Diego & Baby Jaguar, Fantastic Max, FX, & AB, Dr. Who, Black Lantern Han Solo & Zombie Chewbacca, Han Solo: Rogue Jedi & Cowboy Curtis, Zombie Rob Bartlett,The Energizer Bunny, and Archie the Octo-Spider Survive

week 4 Better Than All of You vs The Murderflies

Greetings friends, Aquaman here. I know you're expecting to read a rollicking adventure featuring me and my teammates against the Murderflies of Brock Samson, but that's not about to happen.



You see, fair reader. Myself and the rest of my team have decide that we really need to live up to our team name of being "better than all of you". We need to send a message putting all you jabronis on notice that we are not to be trifled with.



So, with me leading the charge, Aqualad, Aquababy, and Topo headed over to the Murderflies home office before they could send a proper squadron to face us in the Indian Ocean, and we slaughtered 42 marines, 7 Jawas, and 12 Ewoks. I called it, "The Time Me and My boys dropped the pimp hand and showed why we are better than you"! It was a glorious adventure!!! OUTRAGEOUS!



So be warned, FFL. Our moniker is not just a funny name. It's a warning. We are, and will be, Better Than All of You.



Until our next outrageous adventure, just like it says on the walls of the Murderflies locker room in the blood of 12 dead Ewoks

BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!!!

TEAM Vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family.

TEAM is (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman, Michael Demuirgos, Wil-E-Coyote, The Roadrunner, Roy "Mr. Awesome" Shildt, & The Shining Force: Max, Gort, Luke, Tao, Anri, Alef, Domingo, Diane, Hans, Lowe, Torasu, Kris, Gong, Ken, Mae, Arthur, Earnest, Pelle, Guntz, Lyle, Kokichi, Balbaroy, Amon, Bleu, Zylo, Hanzou, Musashi, & Bokken.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Head Coach Brady Hoke, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar, & Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, Dark Supergirl, Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Nichol Valdez, Zombie Sonic The Hedgehog, Mother Mae Eye, The Candy Land Crew: Gingerbread People #1-3, Mr. Mint (w/ a blue lightsaber), Gramma Nut, King Kandy, Jolly, Plumpy, Princess Lolly, Queen Frostine, Lord Licorice (w/ a blue lightsaber), & Gloppy the Molasses Monster, & Storm Trooper #49.


Head Coach Brady Hoke, decides to personally lead his team into battle, against one of the most feared franchises in all of Fantasy Fantasy. After a shocking win against The Horsemen last week, Coach Hoke is anxious to come out on top and possibly go 2 and 0 in what is undoubtedly the toughest interleague schedule in all of The FFL. Michael Demuirgos and Superman lead TEAM through the desert sands, while Max keeps the rest of TEAM far enough back, to provide cover for the 2 powerhouses. Dark Supergirl and The Superman Emergency Squad notice early on that these two will by far be their toughest opponents, and waste no time moving in quickly for an attack, as ordered by Coach Hoke. It was thought that Roy Shildt wasn’t going to be able to make it to this match, because of The Kong Off Festivities this weekend in New Jersey; but at the last minute he decided that it was more important to Chumpatize this new N.L. Expansion team instead. Unfortunately for Mr. Awesome, he is met with a lightsaber to the gut from Lord Licorice. “Bill Mitchell sends his regards” says the Candy Land Crewster as he finishes off Mr. Awesome. Storm Trooper #49 hits Guntz (aka Dump) with a well-aimed “stunning attack” to the head, but he is later hit by the valkyrie of Ken (aka Ryan). Mother Mae Eye punches aside a rocket shot by Wil-E-Coyote’s Acme rocket launcher and then finishes him off with a magically-loaded punch to the face (shout out to Pete Sosa). Mother Mae-Eye then runs over to her team’s group of Kryptonians to help them out against the two TEAM Tough Guys. Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog catches up to the Roadrunner and then eats his brain, before he does the same to Alef (aka wilecoyote), Kris (aka Chipmunk), and Domingo (aka Mogie). Coach Hoke pulls no punches, but ends up on the losing end of his fight with Musashi (aka Luigie). Arthur attempts a Blaze spell, on Zombie Sonic, but he ends up slipping in some of Gloppy’s melting molasses goo. He is then hit with a lightsaber attack from Mr. Mint. The Candy Land Crew are all getting a little melty, in the hot Baghdad sun, but matters are made much worse when Tao (aka Carli!!!) casts Blaze 3, and completely melts all but Jolly, who somehow survives this particular attack. Michael Demuirgos uses his God-like powers to easily destroy Mother Mae-Eye, but he is eventually killed when Dark Supergirl pounds him into oblivion. (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman puts up a tremendous fight against The Superman Emergency Squad, but in the end, it is sheer strength in numbers that wins the day. (JLA) Superman manages to take out SES #1, 3, & 4, as well as Van-Zee but is then overwhelmed by the Kryptonian powers of the rest of the squad. Zombie Sonic spin attacks into the air, to take out Kokichi (aka Dr. Ruehl), but he finally meets his end when Zylo (BadHairDay) claws him to death in mid-air. Nichol Valdez and Ramona Flowers attack Balbaroy (aka Tweetie)and his bird-wife Amon (aka E.T.) and manage to ground them both. Ramona then uses the power of her Star Sapphire to inject Love energy into Gong (aka Nick) and Ken (aka LittleJohn) until they both explode. Nichol and Ramona are then taken out when Anri (aka April) casts Freeze Level 4 and Hanzou (aka Mac Dad) casts Desoul. The TEAM version of The Shining Force has gained the Upper hand over the Orange Kitties (so they think). Until the left over SES Members and Dark Supergirl show up to lend a hand. Dark Supergirl, takes a little to much enjoyment, in the destruction of Bokken, Gort (aka Thor), Lowe (aka Wimp), Torasu (aka Yoda), Bleu (aka Bear), & Diane (aka Robin hood). Don-El squares off against Max (aka Josh) and manages to deflect the power and melee strength of The Chaos Breaker. Don-El then uses his heat vision to take out the Shining Force leader (for the sake of this match the rest of the team is not going to just disappear like they do in the video game). Vitar gets scratched by Zylo but fights through the pain and breaks the where-warrior’s neck. SES #2 takes out Hanzou, while SES #5 kills Musashi, but The Shining Force regroups and protects there magic users. Every member of TEAM, is well aware of the weaknesses of a Kryptonian, which is why they rally around there magic-users and give them a line of protection. Tao, Anri, Luke (using the Atlas (blaze)), Mae (using the halberd (bolt)), & Pelle (using the Devil Lance) exhaust TEAM‘s magical powers with this last offensive. SES #2 & 5, led by Dan-El plows through the Shining Force’s defense, which consists of Ken, Earnest (aka Ed-1), and Lyle (aka Weird Al). The three Kryptonians then manage to take out Pelle (aka JayLeno), Ken and Mae (aka JoanJett), before they meet their magical end. Luke (aka Mayonais) who has just single-handedly killed a Kryptonian with his Atlas is crushed to death by the grip of Vitar, right before Vitar breaks Tao’s Demon Rod and kills her in the process. Dark Supergirl then ironically uses her super-breath to freeze Anri to death. Dark Supergirl and Vitar walk a couple of feet and pick a half-melted Jolly out of a small crater. Vitar is holding up the last remaining Candy Land Crewster, who happily says: “Did we win”? Vitar looks at Jolly and says: “Yup, now quit acting so surprised”. Dark Supergirl finishes in the third person with: “Yeah, Jolly. Everybody knows that TEAM has always been Supergirl’s B&*^$h”.
LAYANDER’S SUPER ORANGE KITTIES AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER TO MAKE A NEW FAMILY IS VICTORIOUS!!

Seaon 4 Week 3, Better than All of You vs Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

Better Than All Of You is:
David Dunn (Unbreakable) ,Rambo, Beechead, Snake Eyes Original Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze),6 Army Soldiers, Doc Holliday, 4 Orcs, Black Suit Spider Man, Blues Brother Jake w/ motorcycle, 1 Doozer

Griffin’s High Maintenance Mouthfulls are:
My state farm agent, Techno destructo,Bozzo destructo,Bonesnapper, Cardinal syn,Jewcifer,Zog, Gor Gor, Johnny Rotten. Kingdom come Superman, Caira the Old strong, Starkiller, The Leader (w/ a red lightsaber), Hellion, Black Lantern Al Dog

Coming To you Live from the capital city of Iraq…
Hello friends, this is Mikeatu reporting to you live from channel 9 action news.
The watcher gig simply isn’t paying enough so I’ve picked up a sideline reporting on the events for the local channel 9 affiliate. Kill two birds with one stone right?

We now join the battle, already in progress, there are no words to describe what’s happening, I will simply let the camera crew here tell the story:

A close in shot of David Dunn strutting around the vast desert… he appears to be screaming.

“HAH! Not a drop of water in sight! I am truly Unbreakable!”

He appears to be daring all of his enemies to take shots at him. Black Lantern Al Dog approaches and takes a swing at him, shattering his hand. Oh my God! The camera quickly pans away as Dunn has struck black lantern Al Dog in the throat with the web of his hand cracking his trachea and causing him to suffocate to death.
“Haha try singing Bruno now!" Dunn screams. Then more quietly he says "wait.. what?"

“That’s quite enough of that,” says Kingdom Come Superman who proceeds to fling Dunn into the Tigris river. Dun drowns immediately because M. Night Shymalan is hydrophobic.

The State Farm agent rolls in on a diamond encrusted Bugatti Veyron (you have no idea how high the monthly payments are to cover this team let alone Griffin himself) Unfortunately for her, black suit Spiderman has created a giant web slingshot and lets it go, clipping the high priced automobile and sending it flying into GWAR.
The state farm agent is killed, but not by the impact because as the song goes…

“They are GWAR, and they’ll go far, they’ve got guitars, they’ll eat your car. GWAR GWAR GWAR GWAR!”

The screams of the state farm agent pierce the air as the Bizarre Metal band consumes the car with her inside it.
Johnny Blaze and Jake Elwood roll up on the Gwar gang singing their own tune…

“Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, baby baby baby baby he’s screamin the truth, Ridin around in a blue jump suit yeah…”

Johnny attaches his chains to Jakes bike and they murder the entire GWAR roster with a fiery clothesline.

Unfortunately they didn’t see Kingdom Come Superman land in the back of the group. Superman stands his ground and the bikes wrap around him slamming into each other at full speed killing Jake instantly and sending Johnny Flying. The ghost rider manages to recover and wrap his chains around the throat of superman. His penance stare pierces into Superman’s mind and forces him to think of all of the people he couldn’t save over the years he spent in his fortress of solitude. Superman is driven insane with guilt by the thought of all those innocent lives and he falls listless to the ground. The Ghost Rider then strangles him to death with his magical chains.

Hellion flings Blaze into the wreckage of the motorcycles, weakened from his effort spent killing superman blaze is easily dismantled by Hellions telekinetic powers. Caira, Hellion, Star Killer and the leader hunt the Baghdad streets for the remaining members of Better Than All of You.

They easily dispatch the Army soliders, the orcs, and with luck they get the drop on the Doozer before he is able to finish his elaborate crystalline ambush.
Unfortunately for the foursome, they’ve walked into another ambush. The poor Doozer was only the bait.

“NOW!” screams John Rambo as he launches and Explosive arrow into the back of Hellions head.

The resultant explosion and spray temporarily blinds the others, giving Snake Eyes time to dispatch Caira. The Leader hauls Starkiller out of the way just before Snake eyes’ blade pierces his chest.
Unfortunately for The Leader, Beechead has no sympathy for people with stupid names and he proceeds to place a bullet in The Leaders oversized green melon.
Snake Eyes motions for Rambo to stay out of the fight and squares off with Starkiller.
Starkiller Flips on his dual lightsabers and proceeds to fight the silent ninja. Snake eyes dodges his attacks with acrobatic flips and seems to be having a fairly easy time, he runs up the high spire of a minaret and the two square off on the roof.
Starkiller sees his moment to strike and slices Snake Eyes neatly in two. The halves of his body tumbling down the side of the minaret in an oddly familiar fashion…
“This is over.” Says Starkiller once he reaches the ground and moves to face Rambo.
“NOTHIN IS OVUH!!” shouts Rambo a she launches into an assault on Starkiller. The explosive arrows miss the lightsaber wielding warrior who deflects them easily with the force.
“Raaaaaagghhhhh!” screams Rambo again as he drops his bow and arrow for an M16.
“Try deflecting a three round burst.”
Rambo Taps the trigger of his weapon and three 5.62 rounds rip through the air, the twin sabers of starkiller melt the bullets easily and he smirks. He advances on Rambo and suddenly has an odd look on his face….

The bloom of blood soaks his shirt, Starkiller failed to see Doc Holiday sneak up behind him and failed to notice him timing his own shot to match the one from Rambo’s gun. Unaware of the sneak attack Doc’s shot landed, punching a hole into Starkillers aorta causing him to bleed out in seconds.

“I ain’t above shootin a man in the back son.” Doc said to Rambo’s puzzled look.

“I don’t know how that rumor even got started…”

Better Than All of You is Victorious!
Black Suit Spiderman, Rambo and Doc Holiday Survive!

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Luke Skywalker: Grand Jedi Master, Sandworm #14, Phoenix, Sheanna, Nightwing, and Flamebird.

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Al Qaeda Terrorist #1-20, Sandworm #1, Graboid #1, Dorf, Ginaz Swordsmen #10, Aaron Eggemeyer, & Black Lantern Guy Gardner.


Both teams scatter as the two massive sandworms come bursting out of the Dunes of Baghdad. Sheanna attempts to calm the two worms, but she is unable to break through their instinctual need to dominate their own territory. Graboid #1 grabs a hold of Sheanna and breaks her neck before he eats her. As the competitors attempt to escape, The Graboid, The Ginaz Swordsmen, & Aaron Eggemeyer are crushed to death. Luke Skywalker should have plenty of time and skill to get away, but somehow Dorf manages to trip the Master with his golf club that he was tripping over as well. Luke sticks his lightsaber through Dorf’s face, but in the end it slows Luke down enough to have him join Dorf in death at the hands of the two great makers. Phoenix squares off against Guy Gardner, high above the warm desert ground. While Nightwing and Flamebird formulate a plan to take out the enormous sandworm. They had at first hoped that perhaps their sandworm would come out on top of the battle, but as all of us FFL Fans know, Sandworm #1 is indeed the biggest of all the worms and it has never lost a territorial battle with another worm. The Al Qaeda terrorists attempt to gather enough Sandworm #14 teeth for crysknives for both themselves, and their fallen comrades; but as they are doing this, their own mammoth Shai Halud sends them to meet Allah. Black Lantern Guy Gardner viciously attacks Jean Grey, but he is stopped when she releases the power cosmic to re-kill the ring-wielder. Phoenix regroups with Flamebird and Nightwing, and the three of them recklessly fly directly into the mouth of Sandworm #1. They realize that the maker must have a vulnerable spot inside it somewhere and that if it does they are surely powerful enough to destroy it. The three super-powered chicks fight valiantly once inside. They attack with every bit of power they have but to the eyes of the desert, it seems as though the worm is simply going about its business. It is not until the sandworm begins to glow red in its center that it all of the sudden slowly comes to a stop. After the sandstorm caused by the worms settles; a small hole, oozing the water of life is seen in the side of the worm... Only Flamebird crawls out of it.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

The Right Wing Vs The Untouchables

The right wing is
Silver Surfer (w/ a green lantern ring),The Incredible Hulk (w/ a Red lantern ring), The Pantheon: Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Perseus, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ullysses II., Skaar, Son of Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), Korg in an Ornithopter, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, Red She-Hulk, Ewok Baby #3 & 4, Smurf #3

The Untouchables are
Maestro, Dust, Bizarro Supergirl, Emperor Han, Toph Bei Fong, Ras Al Ghul, Pikachu, Buzz Lightyear, Kryptonian Army Soldier #3

Now before I fill you in on the details of this match, I would just like to say that it was well worth the camel stink.

The streets of Baghdad are as busy and chaotic as they always are until suddenly a large craft appears in the sky, and then another. Panic ensues. Is it an attack? Is it aliens? No. is The Right Wing in a FFL transport vessel. The streets of Down town Baghdad are now empty, and The wing drops in. Silver surfer immediately incases the hulk in a bubble of is lantern energy. But because hulk keeps spiting blood out and trying to kill everyone the surfer has to keep remaking the bubble. Which is quickly draining the surfers ring of its energy. A freak Dust storm rolls in and cause some confusion among the Right Wing. The storm clears as quickly as it started. Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax Lay dead on the ground.

Bizarro Supergirl: THE TOUCHIES ARE HERE!

Silver Surfer Launches his quickly deteriorating hulk bomb at The Untouchables. He lands right on the Kryptonian Soldier liquefying his body almost instantly. The Teams go to war. Pikachu shoots a electric blast at an advancing pair of ewoks which causes their bodies to explode. Now the pokemon sets his sights on Korg and his lame as bird plane glider thing. He Fires a large Bolt of lighting at the ornithopter, causing it to crash and killing Korg. Maestro and The Hulk make eye contact. They rush each other. Its hard to tell if all the blood is mostly from The hulk’s use of the ring or the fight but there is a lot of it. The Hulk throws a furious combination of punches, head butts, and what I think were attempted bites, But maestro Needs only to get his hands on Hulk. When he does, he literally turns him sideways reaches in his a** and pulls out his skeletal structure. Upon witnessing this carnage the remaining members of the pantheon s**t them selves and retreat. Ras Al Ghul Attempts to give chase but is grabbed from behind by the hulk robot and crumpled up into a bloody, meaty, ball.

Toph Bei Fong: Alright we have played long enough, lets finish this.

Toph Bei Fong and Dust put there command over the landscape into full effect. Toph makes the ground around the hulk robot suck him in up to his neck, then brings up a large piece of earth and quickly flings it into the robots head, ripping it off. Dust whips up a small sand tornado and launches red-she Hulk to Maestro Where she is promptly stomped into the ground. Dust again uses a tornado to bring down the silver surfer. Emperor Han freezes him and Bizzaro Supergirl smashes him to bits. Maestro Hits each of the hulks children once, all the force necessary to kill them. It seems as though the fight is over but the to smallest competitors have yet to settle there differences. Smurf #3 and Buzz Lightyear square up. The smurf may be smaller than he toy but he’s spunky. Smurf #3 lands two good body shots, one ever breaks off a piece of buzz. Lightyear is un affected.

Buzz Lightyear: You can’t kill me pipsqueak, I AM A TOY.

Buzz grabs the smurf by the necks and begins smashing his face, he then picks him up and power bombs the helpless little guy to ground. Buzz laughs as he leans in for the kill. Smurf #3 reaches up and opens buzzes helmet, buzz panics an begins gasping for air. The smurf grabs the broken piece of plastic and jams it into buzz’s brain steam.

Smurf #3: Smurf you!


The Untouchables are victorious!

The Right Wing: Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II escape needing only new underwear.

The Untouchables: Maestro, Dust, Bizarro Supergirl, Emperor Han, Toph Bei Fong, Pikachu survive.

Oblivio Vs The Syracuse valley

Oblivio is
Sandworm #8, Sandworm #13,Graboid #2,Graboid #3,Kraft Dragon #2,Jet Jaguar ,Magma, Earl Bassett & Val McKee.


The Syracuse valley are
Megatron, Soundwave w/ Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, (movie) Ravage, Fast-Forward*, The Decepticon Spy Bug*, (movie) Wheelie*, & Decepticon #1 & 2, Starscream, Jazz, Cosmic Spider-Man, Rayden w/ Kid Thunder, Capt. Lou Albano in an Exo-Suit, Little Goomba #7


After I received this match-up I didn’t bother making the trip on account of I didn’t want to see my brother get butt f**ked and just about everybody over there smells like a camel. So I called my buddy Laith who lives in Baghdad and got him to record the match on his I-Phone. It was a wise decision because what I saw on that shaky but amazingly hi def screen was unspeakable but surprisingly easy to write about. The recording began with Little Goomba #7 walking back and forth as his team listened to what he had to say.

Little Goomba #7 : Alright guys bottom line his we are f**ked no matter what we do, we are going to lose. But I think if we decide right no that we’re going down fighting we might be able to buy enough time for the kid, Fast-Forward, Spy Bug, Wheelie, and Jazz to escape.

Megatron; Shut your mouth mushroom, No one retreats. We are going to win whether I have to use your dead body to beat them all to death or NOT!

Black Lantern Squawk Talk: Yes I agree, I am really looking forward to eating some sandworm heart.

Little Goomba#7: Really? And just were is a Sandworms heart located.

Capt. Lou Albano: The Goombas gota point.

SUDDENLY THE EARTH BEGINS TO RUMBLE!

Sandworm#8 devours all of the Transformers and Captain Lou. Graboid#3 breaks through the ground ready to eat kid thunder but just as the large worm creature shoots out his tentacles Goomba#7 sacrifices himself to save the boy. Kid Thunder runs and hides in one of the nearby buildings. Just as Rayden is falling into the pit that is a sandworm and right before cosmic Spiderman is consumed he manages to fire off a burst of energy the splatters Val all over Earl.

Oblivio is victorious!

The Syracuse Valley: Kid thunder sole survivor.

Oblivio: All unharmed except Val McKee who is dead and Earl Basset who is emotionally scarred.

Season Four - Week Three: Logical Genocide vs Le' Napoleon's Brigade

Logical Genocide is The Champion of the Universe, Black Lantern Sinestro, Ion, Magmar, Hawk, Sandworm #11 and Roster Filler Smurf.

Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is Obi Wan Kenobi, Skyfire, Sentinel (Alan Scott), Alia Atreides, Alia Atreides Ghola, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Hecate and Ron Meyer.



“Let’s see if there is anyone WORTHY enough to face me in battle on this team!” bellows The Champion of the Universe. He leads the team of Magmar, Hawk and Roster Filler Smurf into battle as Black Lantern Sinestro and Ion are soaring overhead. Most of Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade then flies in aboard Skyfire, into the heart of Baghdad where they meet their opponents. They leap out, ready for action, as Skyfire blasts back off into the sky. Obi Wan Kenobi ignites his lightsaber as he draws the Champion’s attention. “Ha! This is the best you have to offer me? A puny human with a glow stick?” he chuckles. Master Kenobi is not amused by the blue skinned behemoth’s snide comments. He pulls back and hits the Champion of the Universe with a massive Force push that knocks him off his feet. It’s then that the rest of Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade jumps into action. Ron Meyer quickly runs in and smashes Roster Filler Smurf with his trusty shovel as the foursome of Alia Atreides, her Ghola and the two Duncan Idaho Gholas surround Magmar and Hawk. But the Earth beneath their very feet begins to shake as Sandworm #11 explodes out of the sand and consumes all of them in one swift motion. The enormous creature then dives back into the sand as the battle wages on high in the air.

Black Lantern Sinestro and Ion find themselves outnumbered against Sentinel, Skyfire and Hecate. Alan Scott immediately goes after BL Sinestro as the two robots try and take down Ion. Sentinel blasts him with a massive amount of green energy fire and fry him to his very core, but the Black Lantern quickly regenerates and comes right back after the Golden Age Green Lantern. Skyfire and Hecate are flying circles around Ion, but they are no match for the vast powers of the Green Lantern. He lets loose a mega blast of green energy then literally evaporates both Skyfire and Hecate. Ion turns around just in time to see Alan Scott finally finish off the Black Lantern. The two Green Lanterns then clash with such might, that the entire night sky over Baghdad flashes with green light.

Back on the ground, Obi Wan in playing a smart game of cat and mouse against The Champion of the Universe. The galactic pro wrestler is growing incredibly agitated at the Jedi’s tactics. Obi Wan uses his mastery of the Force to direct the Champion’s attention elsewhere, which allows him to sneak up from behind and drive his lightsaber through the Champion. Obi Wan looks up into the sky and sees the flashes on green continue to brighten the dark desert sky. Alan Scott is doing everything his mind and body will allow him to do, but Ion keeps coming. They both then focus and release an incredible amount of green energy at point blank range at each other. The blast is so powerful and bright, that Master Kenobi is forced to shield his eyes from it. He then hears a strange noise that came from behind him. When then Jedi turns around he finds Ion standing there, battered, but not beaten. “This match is over Master Jedi. I wish to do your team no more harm,” Ion says to Kenobi. “No more harm?! What about what you just did to Alan?” shouts Obi Wan. “His fate is the same as yours,” the Green Lantern replies as he uses his incredible powers to remove the Jedi from the battle.

LOGICAL GENOCIDE IS VICTORIOUS!!

Season Four - Week Three: Alice's Wonder Team vs The Transfoamers

Alice's Wonder Team is The Spectre, Captain Universe, General Zod, and Zombie Abomination.

The Transfoamers are The Fallen, Black Lantern Darth Bane, Darth Zannah, Dr. No, Sandworms #6 & #7, and The Losers: Clay, Aisha, Roque, Jenson, Pooch and Cougar.


The sands of Baghdad, Iraq quake as the Transfoamers’ Sandworms weave their way deep underground. The Losers, along with Dr. No, quickly set up base in a bombed out building. Darth Zannah stands diligently outside awaiting the arrival of their opponents with what was once her master, Black Lantern Darth Bane. They are not made to wait for very long, as the trio of General Zod, Captain Universe and Zombie Abomination quickly make their presence known. Zombie Abomination tears through the building where the Losers have camped out in. The decaying behemoth quickly grabs a hold of Dr. No and rips his arms from their sockets and then proceeds to chomp all the way down to his waist, swallowing the scientist upper half. The Losers then unload everything they have on Zombie Abomination, but he keeps on coming. He crushes Jenson beneath his massive foot as he pounds Pooch into a smear of red mush. Clay, Roque, and Aisha retreat to an upper level of the building as poor Cougar provides them a moment of cover as he is being feasted on by the grotesque monster. However, with all of the violent pounding and smashing Zombie Abomination has been doing, this has resulted in gaining the Sandworms attention. Sandworm #6 bursts out from underneath the wrecked structure and swallows not only Zombie Abomination, but the remaining three members of the Losers as well.

Meanwhile, Darth Zannah has been valiantly trying to keep General Zod at bay, as Black Lantern is entangled with Captain Universe. Even with all the powers from the Dark Side of the Force that she can muster, Darth Zannah eventually succumbs to the strength of General Zod. The evil Kryptonian fires a distraction blast of heat vision at her as he quickly flies in to snatch the lightsaber out of the Sith’s hand and use it to remove her own head. The ancient being known as The Fallen then teleports in and lend a hand to Black Lantern Darth Bane. The large Transformer stomps General Zod into the ground and then with Black Lantern Darth Bane, they both blast Captain Universe back. The Black Lantern Sith flies after Captain Universe, while The Fallen tends to Zod. “You pathetic life form,” growls The Fallen. “You command your foes to kneel at your feet, yet here you are being crushed beneath mine!” After hearing this, Zod begins to laugh louder and louder at The Fallen. “You dare!!! You dare to laugh at me?!” exclaims The Fallen. It is then, when The Spectre arrives in the battle. “No, it is you who dare!” shouts The Spectre. The Spirit of Vengeance then extends his hand towards The Fallen and says, “For all of your evil atrocities throughout the cosmos, I hereby find you… guilty.” The Fallen tries to mount an attack against The Spectre, but is overpowered and is turned into a small transforming toy. General Zod then picks up the toy and crushes it into pieces. Zod turns to The Spectre, but he has found the he is no longer there. The Kryptonian General is then about to fly off to find Captain Universe and Black Lantern Darth Bane when the ground beneath erupts and Sandworm #7 consumes the Kryptonian.

Captain Universe is finding that defeating Black Lantern Darth Bane is much harder than he previously though. Darth Bane is using the combination of his vast Sith powers and his newly gained Black Lantern abilities to keep defending against Captain Universe’s attacks. But Captain Universe finally finishes off the undead Sith Lord by transmuting him into silicon dioxide, which is of course, sand. Captain Universe then senses the imminent arrival of the two massive Sandworms. They burst out of the sand, but Sandworm #7 slams back to the ground, motionless. The side of it then shatters open as if it was frozen from the inside out. This in fact, is exactly what happened, as General Zod used his freeze breath to destroy the creature from within. The two members of Alice’s Wonder Team then turn their attention to Sandworm #6 as it continues to rise out of the sand and engulfing them in its shadow. Zod is impetuous and flies head first at the enormous creature, but defeating the last Sandworm had taken too much out of him and this time, Zod does not make it back out of the Sandworm. Captain Universe begins to conjure all of his power to defeat such a mighty foe, but Sandworm #6 moves faster than he is expecting and devours the wielder of the Uni-Power.

THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

week 3- B3 vs The Tijuana Taco Benders

Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches are: Black Lantern Apocalypse, Oblivion, Deadman, Hush, Max Mercury, Predator X #5, War Skrull #8, and Tunnel Rat

The Tijuana Taco Benders are: Lavos, Sandworms #9 & 12, Lady Deadpool, Headpool, Heatwave, Daredevil, Radioactive Man, and Mister X


I...I don't understand what happened. How things got this way. It's all so odd and doesn't make any sense. It was all supposed to be so easy. God. It burns so bad. What's happened to me??!!

My name is Matt Murdock. People call me Daredevil, and I think I'm dying.

I remember getting to the desert of Baghdad, and Lady Deadpool telling us this match would be easy since we not only have two Sandworms, but El Blanco and Lavos hidden under the sands just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Then, then it got strange. Lady Deadpool acted like she got a chill up her spine, and then told us she'd be "Right back" since she claimed to have seen something over the dunes. She took off and left us wondering what was going on. Mr X said he had a funny feeling something wasn't right.

I agreed.

When Lady Deadpool got back, something was definitely wrong, her heartbeat wasn't the same and she no longer smelled the same. Before she had a chance to know we were on to her, I struck and snapped her neck. Turns out it was some War Skrull, trying to infiltrate our ranks.

That was the last moment of clarity I have before the world went to hell.

All of a sudden, a black hole opened right in the middle of the desert and sucked in the sandworms, and Lavos-though not before they were able to take out Tunnel Rat and Predator X.
Heatwave was able to to set Hush on fire, and roast him but then Heatwave's neck suddenly got broken by Max Mercury.

I was trying to get a bead on someone, anyone. I think it was Radioactive Man who finally stopped Max Mercury. I can't be sure. I blacked out for a minute and when I awoke, Mr X was dead at my feet, Headpool was a pile of mush and Radioactive Man was just missing. My gut was burning as if I'd been shot by a laser, and that's what got me to this point.

Then I saw him. Apocalypse, and everything started to make sense.

I was about to die.

"Foolish Taco Bender" he sneered, his breath reeking of the grave "You think mere sandworm and aliens can stop Apocalypse? I have lived among these sands for over 5,000 years. I know when they have been disturbed and turned against me. Now, Murdock. My team has had it's fun. But your heart is now at it's peak of emotion. You've seen Oblivion take care of my underground problem, and thanks to Deadman's possession of your pitiful form, you were more than helpful in decimating the rest of your pitiful squadron. Now Murdock, goodbye"

"Screw you Apocalypse. Radioactive Man will take you out."

"Ah, foolishly heroic to the bitter end. Oblivion has already taken care of him, you fool. He's that red smear of sand right over there. Though, it seems you've caught an errant blast from their brief tussle. No matter, your time is at an end"

And with that I felt his burning touch pierce my chest and then . . .



Beckman's Backyardigan Beeyatches: Black Lantern Apocalypse, Oblivion, and Deadman survive

The Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead

BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!!

week 3- The Commandos of Hobama vs The Pussies that Sleep

"I was funny on SNL right? RIGHT?" "Former Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana vs. "Vegemite is TERRRRIBBBLLLE" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Dex-Star, Karu-Sil, Azeem with Qui-Gon's Green Lightsaber, Katniss Everdeen, Lady GaGa, Jen Linley, and Black Lantern Dozer #1


Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kahn, Zombie Mothra, Den, Thunderbird, The Flash (Jay Garrick), Quicksilver, Hanover Fiste, Capt. Boomerang, and SHIELD Agent #2


"Come on, Vogue" Lady Gaga proclaims as she trudges across the deserts of Baghdad in a dress that is made of of Dozers.

"Ok, first of all that dress is pretty offensive considering we're currently in the company of a Dozer" Jen says "And second, you don't sing Vogue. Madonna does."

"Express yourself" Gaga retorts as she gives the classic 'talk to the hand' gesture to the "bad" girl of Dawson's Creek

"Have you not her the new Gaga single "Bored this Way," this isn't the first time she's ripped off Madonna" Azeem stoically says

"Um, I think it's called "Born this Way" Azeem, not bored" Jen replies

"Whatever, hoe. I'm from the time of Robin Hood and all that, the fact that I know who this monster even is pretty friggin impressive" Azeen fires back.

"You wanna go, old man? Cause I'll throw down" Jen says, not backing down from Azeem.

Just as this situation is about to boil over and fist are gonna be thrown, twin sandstorms erupt around the bickering commandos, blinding them.

"What's happening" Jen screams

"Life is a mystery" Gaga tells her.

"Seriously? That's your answer? Jen says "Unbelievable"

amid the confusion Zombie Mothra crashes into the ground crushing Karu-Sil, and Katniss Everdeen

"Holy f**k" Azeem yells as he fires up his light saber "Kill it, kill it with fire!!!!!"

As Jen starts to cry, and Azeem rushes toward the gigantic, rotten corpse of Mothra, it's head explodes and Earth-2 Superman stands in front of them.

"Sorry I'm late folks, but I had to deal with our sandstorms. Here." and Superman coolly drops the heads of Jay Garrick and Quicksilver at the feet of his horrified teammates. "Now, I must be off, I hear a kitten stuck in a tree in Metropolis." and he flies off to help save a life after brutally taking two.

"Oh my god. This stuff never happens when I hang out with Dawson and Pacey" Jen sobs as the horror of what she's witnessed so far begins to sink in.

"Chin up. Jen of the Linleys. The battle continues." Azeem tells her "I shall be by your side, and together we shall defeat all that encounter us."

"Just like a prayer, you know your voice can take me there." Gaga adds.

"Autobots, let's roll out" the group hear as Optimus Prime pulls up in his truck form

"A talking truck. Great. Cause I haven't seen enough weird s**t today" Jen moans

"Enough talk, let's find out enemies and tear out their hearts" says black lantern Optimus Prime as he joins the fray

"What the f***. How are there two of you?" Jen incredulously says

"Well, it's like this. The Commandos used to have Rodimus Prime on their team, but when he died he passed the Matrix of..." Optimus begins

"F*** you, b***. Let's get our killing going, f*** this back story s***." black lantern Optimus sneers and peels out.

"I do not care for these giant, talking, metal carriages" Azeem states "But let us follow them unto battle."

As the Commandos make their way deeper into the sands of Baghdad, let us see what the Pussies are up to.

"Mister Kahn, sir." SHIELD agent #2 says "We've lost three members, but we did successfully take out a few of the Commandos"

"Who have we taken out? Kahn asks

"Well, it looks like Katniss Everdeen, and Karu-Sil, sir. But we've not yet seen their little black lantern builder guy or Dex-Star, the red lantern cat."

"So, we sacrifice three strong members of a team and all we have taken out is the JOB SQUAD??? UNACCEPTABLE!" Kahn roars.

"Aye, that's not all we killed mate. Here." Says Capt. Boomerang as he throws the corpse of Dex-Star at the feet of Kahn "Heh. Look at 'em. Looks like e's asleep. That's funny we got us a sleeping pussy that ain't gonna wake up."

"How did you get this? Kahn asks, obviously pleased with the not only news of another dead commando, but with the terrible pun as well.

"It was me mate, Den here." Boomerang says

"Yeah, ole Den knows how to handle him some pussy, though we did lose Thunderbird in the battle" laughs Den, naked as always.

"Attention, I am picking up the energy signals of the Commandos" MODOK says before this weird scene gets any weirder

"The fools. They will now taste the full wrath of Kahn. Pussies ATTACK!" Kahn yells and the remaining team members fly into action.

The battle is pretty intense. Modok and Hanover Fiste are able to kill Optimus Prime and Azeem. But then they're destroyed by Black Lantern Optimus. Jen and Gaga are cowering and screaming over in a corner after seeing the undead Autobot leader gruesomely dismember SHIELD agent #2, when Den stumbles upon them

"Well, well. Hello ladies." Den says "You know, death doesn't always have to be a nasty, ugly affair. How's about we go find a nice dune somewhere and I..well"

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" says Gaga as she licks her lips and appreciates Den's clothing situation

"Oh god. I'm in hell, I'm in hell" cries Jen as she suffers a complete mental collapse.

"Shall we, Gaga?" Den lecherously says as he prepares to get him some Gaga

"I want your..HEART." her dress screams and sudden the black lantern Dozer appears and kills Den before anymore perversion takes place.

"Ah, delicious." says the blood covered Dozer "And no bulls*** Josh Houslander around to f*** me over again. Come on Gaga, let's go get some more pussies"

We are living in a material world" agrees Gaga and she and the Dozer go to gather the catatonic Jen as she lays in the sand.

"Can I go home now, please." Jen weeps

as Gaga opens her mouth to quote another Madonna lyric her head suddenly grows a razor sharp boomerang right between her eyes.

"G'day, ladies" says Capt Boomerang as he approaches the mentally collapsed teen and the vicious undead Muppet. "Now, how's about you and the Cap'n make it happen, love."

As Jen braces herself for more horrors her mind can't handle, Boomerang is suddenly crushed under the heel of black Lantern Optimus, spraying her with blood and bone fragments.

"There, that's the last of them." he says "Hey, Dozer guess who's heart I tore out?"

"Who?"

Black Lantern Optimus drops to his knees and looks to the sky and in classic Kirk style screams "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"

"Hahaha, that's awesome." say the Dozer. "Here's let's get out of here. There's nothing left for us to kill."

The two black lanterns take off laughing, leaving Jen huddled in the fetal position sobbingly singing "I don't wanna wait...for our...lives to be...over."


The Commandos: Jen Linley, Earth-2 Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, and Black Lantern Dozer #1 survive

Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead.


POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!

Season 4, Week 3: Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

“Death is only the beginning.”
-Imhotep

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 3 Match located in Baghdad. They are as follows:

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve- Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano; Fremen # 15-20; Scorponok, Terrax and Brandon Inge w/Iron Man suit and Red Light Saber.

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad- Supergirl, Imhotep, Scorpion King, Sandman, Darth Scarz (w/red lantern ring), Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron and Windhammer.

Let the battle begin. . .

Brandon Inge flies through the dusty streets of Baghdad in his Iron Man suit. The Detroit Tiger is immediately ready to fight as spring training has just started and he must go back to Lakeland to battle against the Texas Rangers in 24 hours. He is struck and careens out of control. He shakes off the blow and ignites his red light saber. Inge sees Supergirl.

Inge: Who’s your Tiger, baby?

Supergirl: Cabrera!

Inge: I can see that; then again, I can see your death too!

Inge unleashes concussive blasts from his suit’s gauntlets at the Kryptonian. Supergirl shakes off the blows. The tenacious third baseman takes advantage of Supergirl’s fogginess and runs his lightsaber through her arm. Supergirl screams in pain, but manages to avoid the next barrage of weaponry unleashed by Inge. Supergirl decides that she is not going to lose a battle against not a true third baseman, but a glorified utility player on a sub-rate team. She reaches Inge and crushes the gauntlet holding his lightsaber. The lightsaber falls and Supergirl has Inge in a final hold. Supergirl manages to rip off Inge’s helmet. Inge’s last thoughts are of the “tiger growl” that Mike Illitch made after the Red Wings won their last championship. Inge’s neck is broken and his devastated body falls to the ground below. Supergirl flies away and is met by Terrax. A pitched battle occurs, but Terrax eventually knocks Supergirl out of commission with the power cosmic; Supergirl is knocked unconscious.

Fremen #15-20 rush out of a muddied hut and are met by Windhammer. The muscular humanoid with azurine skin, long blonde hair and large elf-like ears uses his fork to create an elemental dust storm around the Fremen. The Fremen are used to elements such as these and fight through the fury, reaching the Silverhawk enemy. As they are about to kill Windhammer, Sandman explodes from the ground beneath them. Sandman manipulates the sand storm around the Fremen and manages to kill Fremen #15 and 18. Imhotep joins the battle and unleashes a never-ending herd of locusts, which spring from the ground. The locusts suffocate remaining Fremen #16, 17, 19 and 20; all Fremen die.

The monstrous Scorponok joins the fray. Imhotep, Windhammer and Sandman combine their abilities and unleash the elements against Scorponok. The robot is barraged with the crystalline specks and becomes crusted with sand. Since Scorponok is unable to see as he should, he decides to transform into his scorpion mode. The robot unleashes a blast which throws the sand trio across the way. As Scorponok faces the three, a trio of Sith Lords jump from one of the buildings onto the robot. Slowly the Darths- Voltress and Ocron hack away at Scorponok’s parts. Meanwhile, Darth Scarz uses not only his lightsaber, but also his red lantern ring to pummel Scorponok. Although Scorponok manages to take some damage, it manages to shrug off major destruction. That is, until Supergirl re-awakens and joins the fray. With the combined efforts of Supergirl, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Darth Scarz and the newly revived Imhotep, Windhammer and Sandman, Scorponok eventually succumbs to its fate. Notwithstanding, Scorponok destroys Imhotep and Windhammer in the process.

In response to the devastation caused by the entire Squad team against Scorponok, Terrax takes time to shout at his foes.

Terrax: It has taken an entire team to defeat our warrior Scorponok. Alone, none of you would have stood a chance against such an outstanding champion! Together, against me and my remaining teammates, you shall face the same fate! But none of you are the combatants that Scorponok was!!!

Terrax immediately uses the power cosmic to rip apart Sandman and solidify his essence into glass. Sandman cannot readjust and dies, frozen in place.

Supergirl enters into round two against Terrax. Terrax uses the power cosmic and blasts Supergirl across the sky. As he is about to unleash his powers again from the roof where he stands, he is struck from behind by the Scorpion King. This instant allows Supergirl to regroup and fly at nearly supersonic speed into Terrax. Terrax falls to his knees. As Supergirl flies around, Terrax stands proud and decides to unleash the full fury of his cosmic powers. The air surrounding Terrax grows warm with the swarming of molecules; he will not only kill Supergirl, but all those around. As he is about to focus his powers, Terrax feels repeated stabbing pains in his chest. Terrax looks down and sees three lightsabers protruding from his chest. Darth Scarz, Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron are behind Terrax. As Terrax falls, Darth Scarz uses his red lantern ring to form into a giant scissors, which snips off the Landlak’s head.

Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano come to the fray. They immediately dispel with the Scorpion King. Tano fights valiantly, but is unable to defeat both Voltress and Ocron at the same time. Thus, although she is able to best Voltress, she falls to Ocron. Skywalker, knowing he should not, unleashes a rage that slices Ocron in two. As he turns around he faces both Darth Scarz and Supergirl. The combined powers of Scarz with his lightsaber and red lantern ring, and the Kryptonian Supergirl, are too much for the Jedi warrior. Anakin Skywalker falls.

Michael Vickz Newz Kennelz of Lurve- All dead.

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad- Darth Scarz and Supergirl survive.

XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!!

Season 4, Week 3: The Abomitrons vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

"We really don't have to be enemies."
-Son of Mortis

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 3 Match located in Baghdad. They are as follows:

Abomitrons- Father of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Odin, Yaddle, Nomad w/ Baby Bucky and Logray.

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets- Stilgar, Fremen #52-56, Asajj Ventress, Superboy, X-23, Aurra Sing, Toad and Ratts Tyrelle in Ebe Endecott's Podracer.

Let the battle begin. . .

The Ewok shaman faces off against the anthropomorphic mushroom. Logray holds his spear and jabs at Toad. In response, Toad uses his ability to emit spores. The dusty winds blow the pods at Logray. The Ewok screams in fury as his furry body becomes encrusted with mushrooms. Logray dances around and frantically scratches at the mushrooms which grow on his entire body. He does not notice Ratts Tyrelle in Ebe Endecott’s Podracer racing through the desert town’s streets. Logray looks up and a second later becomes windshield fodder on the J930-8 podracer. Ratts shakes the Ewok off his vehicle and races on.

Nomad and Baby Bucky move through the back alleys of Baghdad. A laser shot is heard and Baby Bucky screams. Baby Bucky falls to the ground with a scorching hole burned through his chest. Nomad instantly reacts and avoids the additional shots which come from the top of a building across the alley. Nomad peeks his head out and barely misses joining Baby Bucky’s fate as Aurra Sing fires again. Nomad jumps into the alley and uses the street barrels and poles to climb to the roof. The Abomitron warrior throws stun disks at Aurra Sing. Sing uses her force enhanced abilities to avoid the weapons. Nomad uses her avoidance to his advantage and reaches the bounty hunter. Nomad then uses his superhuman strength to knock her nearly unconscious. As Nomad is about to smash her face into the dirt covered roof, a “snikting” is heard; it is X-23. Nomad winces at the damage caused by the mutant. Nomad then knocks X-23 down and she lands next to Aurra Sing. As Nomad comes at the two women, he is sliced in half by the blade of Asajj Ventress.

Asajj Ventress: Us women have to stick together. . .

Ratts looks around for additional prey that he can make into his own personal road kill. He looks up to see an immense, black, bat-like creature. The creature rips Ratts from the podracer, which crashes into the buildings below. Son of Mortis’ claws rip Ratts apart. The destroyed podracer barely misses Toad, who jumps out of the way. As Toad leaps again to avoid additional wreckage caused by the crash, he stops in mid-air. Yaddle uses the Force to hold Toad in place and in mere seconds, slices him apart. Yaddle turns to see Stilgar rushing at her while he leads Fremen #52-56. Yaddle wields her lightsaber in the melee and kills Fremen #52 and 54. The remaining Fremen #53, 55 and 56 are able to subdue Yaddle. Stilgar stands above the Jedi Master.

Stilgar: This is my battlefield puppet!

As Stilgar is about to deal the final death blow to “The One Below,” Stilgar and the Fremen are Force pushed across the street. Yaddle shakes off her dizziness and manages to expertly wield her lightsaber, killing remaining Fremen #53, 55 and 56.

Yaddle: Alone you are Stilgar; [Yaddle arcs her lightsaber] and alone shall you die.

Yaddle thrusts her lightsaber through Stilgar’s stomach, mortally wounding the Sahkan. Stilgar dying, smiles when he sees a shadow appear behind Yaddle. Yaddle turns to see Superboy. Before she can react, Superboy thrusts his fist through Yaddle’s face. Yaddle crumples to the ground, dead and without a face.

Superboy flies away and is met by a white, bird-like creature. Daughter of Mortis’ talons reach Superboy and hold the young Kryptonian firmly in place. Superboy attempts to free himself and is not able to. Superboy finally manages to escape and is instantly struck by the bat creature- Son of Mortis. Superboy eventually breaks free of the Son’s hold. Shaken, Superboy falls to the ground. As he looks up, he is met by the humanoid forms of Father, Son and Daughter of Mortis. Superboy knows that he will surely meet an untimely demise and rushes at Daughter. His quick reflexes do not allow Daughter to protect herself and he breaks her neck. Son and Father lash out in fury and combine their force powers to kill Superboy. While Son and Father are focused on Superboy, Aurra Sing, who has picked up Yaddle’s lightsaber, and Asajj Ventress with her lightsaber, plummet their weapons into Father. Father dies and Son immediately transforms, once again, into the bat-like doppelganger and flies off.

Odin comes into the fray and uses his magical spear Gungnir to channel the Odinforce. The powerful blast throws Ventress and Sing across the street. X-23 lashes out at Odin. Although Odin is hurt, he unleashes the full fury and power of his Norse god-like powers and shreds X-23 apart. He then focuses on the two force wielders.

Son of Mortis flies back to the ground and stands next to Odin. The two use their combined powers to ravage the two women force wielders. Although they valiantly defend themselves, they are never able to gain ground and offensively attack the Abomitron men. Eventually the women are killed by Odin and Son of Mortis.

The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants: All dead.

The Abomitrons: Son of Mortis and Odin survive.

THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!

George Washington's Slaves Vs. Built Ford Tough

George Washington's Slaves are Sandworm #15-20, Santa Claus, Corbin Dallas, Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Zach Morris, A.C. Slater, Samuel "Screech" Powers, Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski, & Jesse Spano.

Built Ford Tough is Arachnid #1-12 & Sardakaur Terror Troop #1-6.

"Come on kids, pick a reindeer and jump on its back; and be quick about it cause this is one list I'm not gonna have time to check twice". Santa yells to his troops. "What's going on, the match hasn't even started yet" Slater says indignantly. "Yeah, I'm not sure we should have to take orders from you anyway, and besides The Zack Attack never retreats" says Zack. Corbin Dallas then yells back: "Listen up preppy, you don't wanna be here when the s*&t that is about to happen goes down, now listen to Saint Nick and get your a** on a deer". As Zack is getting on Donner, Slater on Dasher, Lisa on Comet, Kelly on Cupid, Jesse on Prancer, Screech says (while he is getting on Blitzen): "Yeah Zack, who doesn't want to listen to that Jolly Old Elf" (uproarious laugh-track laughter ensues). They all hold on tight as Santa pulls up on the reigns and gets his crew far away from the fight. Sardakaur #2 turns to Sardakaur #4 and says: "I've got a bad feeling about this. The last time Sardakaur were sent in to the desert they got slaughtered by a bunch of woman and children". "That's nothing but a myth"! Sardakaur #3 retorts angrily. At that moment the six enormous sandworms come crashing out of the sand and begin battling with each other for territorial pride. Both Sandworm #18 & 19 are killed in this battle of city-dwarfers. It is not because the sandworms are without eyes that they do not notice that they easily killed the twelve arachnids and 6 Terror Troops.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!

TEAM Vs Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies

TEAM is
Baracuda , Aqua Mariner, Justice Legion Alpha Aquaman, Jack LaLanne, Boken

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are
Grimlock, Mecha Godzilla, Greedo

TEAM IS DROPED INTO THE WATER. BROCK SAMPSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES DROPED IN NEXT.

Baracuda and Boken are both crushed by the 2 giant falling robots. Grimlock and Mech Godzilla are capable of fighting in water, but they are no match for the equally strong and massively more maneuverable aqua men. The robots are torn to pieces and turned into artificial coral reefs. Jack LaLanne toys with Greedo Dunking him over and over again until he finally swallows to much water and drowns.


TEAM is victorious!

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: ALL DEAD

TEAM: Aqua Mariner, Justice Legion Alpha Aquaman, and Jack LaLanne live.

George Washington’s Slaves Vs Logical Genocide

George Washington’s Slaves are..
Captain Crunch with his little boat, Tony the Tiger, Spongebob Squarepants, Air Bud, Fidel Castro,Sgt. Slaughter , Frank Martin in a Swift Boat (The Transporter), Bebop & Rocksteady in a hovercraft

Logical Genocide Is ..
Mera w/ red ring, Black Lantern Sinestro, Merve the Gremlin, Cody Jones

The Members of logical genocide fall through portals in the sky above World 2-2.

3 Minutes later Cody Jones’s lifeless body floats to the surface after being drowned by a white squid.

Black Lantern Sinestro: well, no point in letting that delicious heart go to waste.

Black lantern Sinestro rips Cody’s heart out and begins to casually eat it like an apple, as he fly’s above the water scanning for his enemy.

MEANWHIALE

Frank Martin transports his team in his swift boat to their pre determent staging area. Which is just captain crunch’s boat and a hovercraft tied to a buoy.

Frank Martin: Alright boys here’s the plan, Pig, Rhino you guys take the hover craft and come in from the east. Cap’n you move in from the west with the tiger and the gay sponge. While the flying zombie, and red fish lady are busy with you guys, Old Yeller, Army Guy, Castro and I will cruise up and finish them off with the swift boat.

WHISTLE BLOWING!

Sgt. Slaughter: HOLD UP YOU LITTLE PUKE! I DON”T REMEMBER ANYONE PUTTING YOU FANCY A** IN CHANGE!

Bebop: yea and I am a Humanoid Warthog not a pig.

Rocksteady: your generalizations are offensive.

Spongebob: I thought he was pretty spot on.

Fidel Castro: He got my name right.

Sgt. Slaughter: I have seen combat many times before AND THAT’S WHY we are gana do it MY WAY, THE ONLY WAY, THE SGT SLAUGHTER WAY!

Captain Crunch: Come on guys the fights out there, Lets just go with Bruce Willis’s plan.

Sgt Slaughter smacks Captain Crunch across the face.

Sgt. Slaughter: BRUCE WILLIS IS AN AMERICAN TREASURE NOT A DIRTY FOREIGNER!

Frank Martin: Dirty Foreigner?

SUDDENLY! Black lantern Sinestro and (basically) Red Lantern Mera burst out of the water . Sinestro thrusts his hands into the chests of captain crunch and sponge bob, and then head butts his way through tony the tigers rib cage to gain access to his juicy still beating heart. As Sinestro gorges himself on the 3 hearts he notices the sponge is still alive

Sponge bob: AWWWW Barnacles, you’ve ruined my favorite shirt. Patrick is gana make you pay for this…. Maybe.

Sinestro moves in to finish of the spunky homosexual but is grabbed at the ankles by Bebop and then grabbed by Rocksteady at the neck. The two mutants are rather surprised at how much effort it takes to rip the half rotten corpse in half but they manage to get the job done. Mera swoops in with air bud shish ka bobed to her trident, and heaves here weapon (dog and all) into bebop’s head. She then grabs rock steady by the wrists and vomits her corrosive blood all over him, completely incinerating his body. Mera is then hit with a thumping heel kick. Frank Martin Is about to tear this b***h a new a**hole. Or so he thinks. Frank throws and lands a series of vicious combinations, but Mera needs only on hit to literally blow his brain out his a**hole. Mera now sets here sights on Sgt. Slaughter, she charges him screaming at the top of her lungs ready to rip him limb from limb. Little does she know that that old vet still has some killing left to do. Sgt slaughter easily side steps Mera, locks in the cobra clutch, and whispers “YOUR DISMISSED” as he snaps her neck like a twig.

Fidel Castro walks up smoking his cigar.

Sgt. Slaughter: Nice of you to show your PRETTY LITTLE COMMIE FACE after the fight’s OVER!

Fidel Castro: its not over. There are like 40,000 gremlins just popping up out of the water.

Sgt. Slaughter: Well don’t just stand around, THESE BABYS ARNT GANA BREAK THEIR OWN NECKS! GET TO WORK MAGGOT.

As Sgt Slaughter begins the tedious job of killing all the gremlins Fidel Castro pokes holes in the gas tanks of the swift boat and hover craft, lights a match, and sets the sea of gremlins ablaze along with sponge bob and Sgt Slaughter.


George Washington’s Slaves are victorious!

Logical Genocide: ALL DEAD

George Washington’s Slaves: Fidel Castro survives

Oblivio vs Better Than All Of You

Oblivio is Triton, Shark, and Zombie Iceman.

Better Than All Of You is Aquaman, Aqualad, Topo, NS-5 #4, NS-5 #5 and a Doozer.


The epic water battles between the Matt Oblak Division and the Sarah Wilson Division continues as these two teams square off. The battle begins with Zombie Iceman unleashing an incredible blast, causing a large portion of the water to freeze instantly, freezing both NS-5s. Shark swims in and fires a bolt of energy at the ice and shatters the robots. Oh yeah, and the Doozer drowned. Shark then goes after Topo. This time he tries to use his telepathy powers, but he is intercepted by a swarm of Cheap Cheeps. Shark then sees that it’s Aquaman who is behind this attack. Shark tears through and devours the Cheap Cheeps, which fills the water with blood. This only increases Shark’s already instinctual blood lust. He viciously attacks the King of Atlantis, but Aquaman is doing fine in fending him off. Aqualad then swims in and aids his father. As they are double teaming Shark, Topo swims in and in a shocking turn grabs a hold of Aquaman. Shark is using his own telepathy on his foe. But Aquaman is able to break free of the Topo’s tentacles and swims over driving his trident into Shark’s chest, killing him. This also frees Topo from Shark’s mind control.

Zombie Iceman then wildly freezes parts of the surrounding water and in doing so, freezes Topo solid, causing the octopus to sink to his doom. Aquaman and Aqualad then quickly swim in from opposite sides and give the “Ol’ Hi-Low” to Zombie Iceman, tearing him in two. Aquaman then drives his fist into the zombie’s skull, just to make sure. There is then an incredible loud sound blasting from one of the green pipes in the water. “What the hell was that?!” Aqualad exclaims. Aquaman does not answer is son at first, for he knows exactly what that is. Aquaman slowly lifts his head up and quietly, but sternly responds, “It’s Triton.” (Editor’s note: Yes I know, normally you can’t really talk underwater, but these guys are Atlanteans, so they can.)

The son of Poseidon swims out of the green pipe with his trident in one hand and his twisted conch shell in the other. “I hear you are a King, Aquaman,” says Triton. “Well… I… AM A GOD!!” He then sounds his conch shell once more, this time causing the water to become rougher and the current violently pushing at Aquaman and Aqualad. They are able to bear down and resist this first attack. “We can defeat him son, but we have to work together,” says Aquaman. “No! I’m taking him NOW!” yells Aqualad. The eager and impatient teen quickly swims right at Triton. The sea god turns and impales Aqualad with his trident and flings his lifeless body behind him. Aquaman sees his own son die right in front of him. He then swims as fast as he can, and in fact, catches Triton by surprise with his speed. Aquaman levels Triton with a powerful uppercut, right to the jaw. But it will take much more than a mere punch to take out a god. Triton comes back and flips around smacking Aquaman across the head with his fishtail. Triton then blows his conch shell again, this time taking control of the entire body of water. He creates a massive vortex right where Aquaman is. The sheer velocity and power of the vortex would rip any normal person to pieces instantly. But this is no normal person after all, this is Aquaman. Arthur leaps out from the vortex and destroys the conch shell from Triton. But due to the vortex, Aquaman’s vision was obscured. He did not see where Triton had his trident. The sea god awaited Aquaman’s attack and knew that he would go after the conch shell. Aquaman looks down and find Triton’s trident deep in his stomach.

OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!!

Built Ford Tough vs Le' Napoleon's Brigade

Built Ford Tough is Aslan the Lion, The Beatles: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison & Ringo Starr, Jeff Houslander w/Red Lantern Ring, Darkwing Duck, Diego, Baby Jaguar, and Dawson Leery.

Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is Namora, Namorita, John Locke and Sando Aqua Monster.



Due to the fact that this match is completely underwater, Built Ford Tough’s entire starting team is all inside the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine. “Hey Paul, what’s that?” asks John Lennon as he sees John Locke’s lifeless body sinking past a porthole. But before Paul can respond, the Yellow Submarine is being violently shaken by the Sando Aqua Monster. The incredibly massive monster uses his powerful arms to crush the Yellow Submarine and tear it open, allowing it to consume the passengers.

“Are you kidding me?” asks Namorita. “That’s it? We didn’t even get to do anything!” She is then smacked in the face by a red energy blast. “Suck on that!!” exclaim Jeff Houslander as he swims towards the two Atlanteans. He’s used his Red Lantern ring to create a force field around himself so he can survive underwater for this extended period of time. As he is swimming towards his foes, the Sando Aqua Monster comes up from behind him and swallows him whole. But moments later, the monster’s head viciously explodes in a burst of red energy and blood. “YOU MOTHERF#$@%#!!! TRY AND EAT ME WILL YOU! YOU SON OF A B!*%#!!” shouts Jeff Houslander. But this blinding rage, has allowed Namora to quickly swim up to him and snap his neck, ending this blow out.

LE’ NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!!!

The Backyardigans Vs. The Commandos

Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are The Black Widow Shark, & Sharkticon #7 & 8.

Former Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & "Lets see how the republicans try and blame me for the earthquakes" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are (earth 2) Superman, Gungan #1-4, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Doozer #13, Swimmell, & Lady Gaga.


Before this match took place President (Coach) Obama pulled his team's number one draft pick of the season into his office to have a brief discussion. President Obama told Superman about his/their team's rich history in The FFL and that although they lost a lot last year in their run to The Universe Bowl; that he had no intention of them not staying a "top flight" team. Barack then went on to explain that if this was going to happen then The Commandos were going to have to rely on him quite a bit, at least during this transitional year. Kal L went on to explain that this was all very new to him; and that this wasn't exactly the best setting to get his very first FFL start in. Barack told him that "he understands, and he still had faith in him"... We shall see...
The Black Widow Shark turns to his squad and says: "Grrrrrr-glurg-glurg-glurg". After all, he is a black widow spider mixed with a shark, and it is talking to a couple of mechanical sharks. Not even Woody Allen could do something with that dialogue. The Commandos travel through the green tube which leads them in to so many-a-gamers least favorite level in the original Super Mario Bros. (personally I always kind of liked it). As they are in the tube, Gungan #2 looks at Swimmell and randomly says: “Damn cousin, this is one f*&^%#d up test tube”. For some reason Swimmell takes offense to this remark and says in retort: “Oh yeah, well maybe I don’t have a test tube... Me and my dad share yours”! “Oh Snap” says Doozer #13... The Commandos begin swimming, all with different levels of success. Superman is strong enough to keep a good pace and has the ability to hold his breath much longer than a human. Same with the gungans who swim so well that they might as well be wearing penguin suits, which is nothing compared to Swimmell who might as well be wearing a frog suit. Doozer #1 is protected by his black lantern ring, but Doozer #13 is not so lucky, and almost instantly drowns. Lady Gaga doesn’t need to worry about anybody seeing her poker face, because she is completely encased in a air tight egg to protect her from the elements. Originally Lady Gaga had instructed the four gungans to carry her once the match had started, but once Superman and Swimmell caught word of this, they told the gungans how stupid that idea was and that they had a match to win. Lady Gaga actually doesn’t even realize that the match has started, or that her egg just simply sunk down to the bottom of the 8-bit coral reef. The pop-singer is more than content hanging out in her egg, and contemplating how she can dupe the world into further believing that she is actually talented. New hair perhaps... “S&*t, it worked for Bieber” Lady Gaga says to the inside of her shell. It is at this moment that her shell is attacked by Cheap Cheaps. This has very little to do with the actual match, there is just something intriguing to me about Cheap Cheaps pecking Ga Ga. It sounds like baby talk from Tartarus. Superman begins heading towards The Black Widow Shark, while Swimmell leads the gungans towards the two Sharkticons. Swimmell turns to Gungan #3 and says...:... Nothing, he says absolutely nothing, they are all holding their breath underwater; so there will be no dialogue. Which means this match will be over with shortly (in fact it should be already). Black Lantern Doozer #1 shoots a blast of black energy towards Sharkticon #8, but it just bounces off of its metal body. In fact it takes significantly longer to say Black Lantern Doozer #1 than it did for Sharkticon #8 to swallow Black Lantern Doozer #1. Superman is taking a beating against The Black Widow Shark, but is still hanging in there. The setting definitely is benefiting the defender of The River of Despair, but Superman is just simply to powerful to be taken down that easily by anyone or anything in a one on one fight. Swimmell and the gungans are a little mismatched as well. The two sharkticons easily take out one gungan each at the start of the skirmish (#2 & 3). The other two gungans than converge on Sharkticon #8 and begin stabbing him with their water-proofed electro-staffs. Swimmell grabs a long piece of broken brick and mortar to use as a weapon but Sharkticon #8 swallows the fish/Trammell/Cheveldae clone whole. Once inside the mouth of the sharkticon, Swimmell sees a spot near the spark that is damaged from the gungan attacks. Swimmell does not realize that the two sharkticons have already taken out the last two gungans; but he does realize that his own last act was to homerun swing his brick “bat” to totally blow up Sharkticon #8 with him inside it. Superman has taken an absolute pounding and has been in and out of the mouth of The Black Widow Shark during the course of this fight. But the gray-templed Man of Steel manages to shake himself loose one last time, and moves himself into position behind The Thundercat Villain. Superman grabs a hold of The Black Widow Shark and with every bit of might he can muster “warps” The Black Widow Shark straight out of the water (I think he finally landed somewhere in 5-3). The exhausted Superman slumps down for a second and begins gasping for air when Sharkticon #7 latches his enormous metal jaws around the neck of Superman. I guess a water victory could have been to much to ask of the new Superman in his first appearance, or perhaps it was just the right place and the right time for lucky (Sharkticon) #7.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!

Week2: Griffins High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs The Syracuse Valley

Griffins High Maintenance Mouthfuls are: The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Opee Sea Killer #9 and #10, Blitzkrieg Bat (w/ Blue Lightsaber), and Black Lantern Al Dogg.

The Syracuse Valley is: Godzuky, Venus Demilo, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Spybug (the Decepticon)Wheelie, and Decepticon #1


The Battle Begins with a familiar tune:

The Robots have all sunk to the bottom and are unable to swim upwards their engines rendered useless by the water. The Black Lanterns find this particularly frustrating (especially since they're somehow black ring powered zombie robots... how does that even work?!) and begin hurling insults on their opponents.

"Everything you ever loved is temporary" shouts beast box. "You're all gonna die down here!"

Black Lantern Al Dog uses his rings powers to create the worlds biggest black lantern tar heroin balloon. If he wasn't already twice dead the dosage would surely kill him... however instead of death the black substance empowers him, he batters the robots into little pieces. His drug fueled rage makes him uncontrollable and he soon turns his fists, cloaked in black energy, against the next available target. Blitzkrieg Bat.

The Battlebeast will have none of this. For the good of his team he is going to remove this dead weight.

"Oh you wanna get hooked? I'll show you hooked you useless junkie." the bat, err robot.. errr armored monster thing screamed and used his wings to propel him towards Al Dog. He drives his right hand hook into Al Dog's mouth like a deep sea fisherman. He Hurls Al Dog at the nearest open pit in the bottom of the level. Al Dogs Flailing body slams into Venus Demilo taking him into the pit with him. No amount of flapping their arms and making "Bloo-Bloop" noises can save them from the suction of the pit.

Helpless Godzuky has been sitting down, watching the violence, stunned by the brutality that has already occurred... The creature from the black lagoon decides it's time to take the big lizard off the table and lines up behind him prepared to push him into the same pit that his teammate was just thrown down. Godzuky realizes his only chance to stop the horrible violence is to use his most powerful ability... the power of flight.

Godzuki uses his wings to fly to the top of the level, the creature from the black lagoon misses him completely but slams into zombie Overkill, severing his head and killing him instantly. His body floating to rest on the pile of transformers who are mangled but still struggling to get back in the fight.

Drawn to the blood, the Opee Sea Killers dive at the corpse of Overkill the proceed to scoop up the body and all the robot parts underneath it. weighing them down forcing them to the bottom of the level.

While the Sea Killers digestive systems make short work of the tangled mass of robot parts, Blitzkreig bat goes on the hunt. The Creature from the black lagoon has distracted Godzuky by blowing bubbles in funny shapes. This is all the distraction the battlebeast needs, he flicks on his lightsaber and dives in for the attack. Godzuky tries with childlike persistence to breathe fire on blitzkrieg bat but he can barely produce smoke even when he's completely dry...

The battlebeast dismembers the last of the Syracuse Valley without issue.

Griffins High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Victorious!

Due to some unexpected developments, TEAM Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies and/or Logical Genocide Vs. George Washington's Slaves may not be posted until a few hours after the weekly deadline. We apologize, but assure you that if they are posted late, it will not be by much. Sorry for the potential inconveniance.

-Josh

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. The Right Wing

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Calypso, Tracy Strauss, The Wonder Twins: Zan & Jayna w/ Gleek, & Navy S.E.A.L. #50.

The Right Wing is Poseidon, Kit Fisto, Phibian #11, Magwai #3, & Smurf #3.


Gleek drowns almost instantly, once the match begins; but this shouldn’t be to disheartening for the management of Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve, because up until this point, Gleek had actually never been on the team. I just felt that it wasn’t right to have The Wonder Twins be in without their pet monkey (**NOTE* to Matt*: from this point on, consider Gleek as part of your team, anytime you play either of The Wonder Twins, he will be with them for free *OFFICIAL RULING* (it sure is nice being the commish)). The Smurf drowns almost as quickly as Gleek, and then the match officially begins. The Magwai is replicating at a ridiculous rate as it is completely submersed in water. The balls of fresh magwai are filling up the coral reefed bottom of the setting. Despite their numbers the oxygen tank wearing Navy SEAL begins killing them with his wet suit covered hands almost as quickly as they can be spawned. The SEAL is of course having no problems with the plethora of Magwai, but they are serving to keep him busy. Phibian #11 has no problem swimming up behind the sailor and skewering him with his fishing spear to end his life. Tracy Strauss and Zan are all up on each other like it’s a college kegger, much like they are quite known to be when they are in the locker room. They have basically formed in to one massive, yet far from solid figure. The two beings have such similar powers, that enable them both to manipulate the water that when they combine forces it seems to benefit them both exponentially. Tracy Strauss and Zan are able to manipulate the water both surrounding Tia Dalma and within her captive human body in such a way that basically destroys her human form and unleashes the full power of Calypso that was trapped inside her. This leaves all three of them fairly vulnerable to potential attacks from The Right Wing; but they have protection for the tine being from Zan’s sister Jayna who has taken the form of a Great White Shark. Calypso is not one to talk about her own shortcomings, but even she would admit that her power as a minor goddess alone is not enough to stand toe to toe with the true Greek god of the sea, Poseidon. Calypso and her two water manipulating allies combine their forces and throw everything they can muster at Poseidon. Poseidon seems to be struggling with their powers, but is of course holding his own. For the first time in his long existence Poseidon is actually being pushed back by the very water that he usually dominates. It seems that he is about to be completely consumed by the power of these “lesser beings” until Master Fisto swims up and uses the full power of his force abilities. With Kit Fisto force pushing behind him, Poseidon is able to regain the upper hand in this immense hydro-push that is going on throughout the entire 2-2 Level. Jayna begins swimming over to lend a hand in whatever way she can , but she is slowed down by Phibian #11. The Phibian is an amazing swimmer and a fierce fighter to boot, but in the end slowing down Jayna is all he is really able to accomplish as Jayna uses her razor sharp teeth to rip through the flesh of the genetically enhanced fish-man. Jayna races to the aid of her teammates, even though she is unsure of what she will really be able to do to help once she arrives. Jayna consumes dozens of magwai, and bats away even more with her tail and fins on the way to center of the battle. Jayna turns into a Plesiosaur and uses her tail to smack Kit Fisto across the chest and send him sailing into a group of Cheap Cheaps and squids. Jayna then turns into a swordfish and quickly gets clear of the area while her teammates go back to triple teaming Poseidon. Poseidon sees that although none of these creatures are powerful enough to take him out one by one, that together they do pose a threat. Poseidon focuses his power underneath his feet and creates an enormous earthquake that pulls both Zan and Tracy Strauss underneath the earth. Poseidon continually focuses his power on this until the two water manipulators are pulled so far beneath the surface that they are actually boiled from the extreme heat of the center of The Mushroom Kingdom. Calypso does not fret at the loss of her two teammates, instead she takes advantage of this and focuses all of her power towards Poseidon. Calypso is thinking that this should be plenty to destroy Poseidon, but she quickly realizes that her power is not quite enough to overtake his even when he is weakened by the causing of the massive earthquake. Jayna turns into a Hammerhead Shark and crashes into Poseidon, which for a brief second throws him off balance. Calypso, once more throws all the power she can muster at Poseidon, who regains his composure and attempts to do the same. Both competitors are far to arrogant to ever let up which is how they prove that even gods can tire as they both inevitably fall dead from exhaustion from the amazing show of equality in power. The surviving Red & Gray Cheap Cheaps, as well as all of the squids and magwai simply gather around in awe of the amazing show of power, while Jayna shows up in Great White Shark form once again to make sure that the god of the sea is truly dead. Jayna sees the dead body of the supposed immortal Poseidon, but before she can complete a thought Kit Fisto pops back out from behind some 8-bit coral and puts his water-proof lightsaber into her gut to split her in half down the middle.

Kit Fisto smiles
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!