George Washington's House Elves Vs. The Empire

George Washington's House Elves are Sgt. Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, Mercer, Shaak Ti, SnakeThe Plisken, Orion, Qui Gon Jinn, and Enfys Nest.

The Empire is White Lantern Swamp Thing, Sarumon, Apollo, The Planeteers: Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Heart w/ Sachi, Keno, and Bronze Dragon #1-3.


Hey nerds, Pogo here comin atcha from The Woodland Realm of Middle Earth. But I'm not gonna do much talkin tonight, cuz this story kind of tells itself......

Here is a little Situational Preamble to the inevitable battle:

The Empire was nearly broken. Without proper leadership, the team has been plagued with a mix of apathy and anger that has led to a deep polarization of the members. The feeling of exceptionalism that once held The Empire together has been torn apart by the schism of the well-intentioned group that White Lantern Swamp Thing is part of the leadership of. So certain that they believe they know what is best for the greater good and that the views they hold are correct, they have arrogantly labeled themselves as “Right”, some like Sarumon and Apollo, who cling to the old ways of doing things feel that those who aren't completely on board with the new agenda are simply being “Left” behind. Those in the Right and those from the Left are so angered by each other and their inability to see issues differently that the Left and Right segments of The Empire often forget that they are supposed to be on the same side. Even when confronted with imminent danger from a Confederate group of House Elves, led by George Washington himself; a man known for toppling politically corrupt Empires.

White Lantern Swamp Thing and his environmental zealots the Planeteers began as seemingly well-meaning people, wanting to conserve and keep clean the world around them have taken such a hard line stance that people such as Sarumon and Apollo who favor thriving industry and militarism in the name of security cannot possibly find common ground. Dozens of levels of happy medium could potentially be found in-between these two hard line stances but neither side is willing to give an inch in fear that their political opponents will go for the proverbial mile instead. Swamp Thing and the Planeteers remain in one camp enclosure, while Sarumon, Apollo, and their Japanese political ally Keno are the enclosure next to them. The three Bronze Dragons, truly vigilant soldiers of The Empire circle both sites from the air protecting both equally regardless of ideological beliefs.

In the meantime, Sgt. Slaughter has his orders from General Washington himself, to use every guerrilla tactic necessary to destroy The Evil-labeled enemy Empire. With perfect military precision the attack begins. The Jedi Masters hang back waiting for The Force to provide the perfect time for attack. Snake Plisken and Sgt. Slaughter lead the other two mini-squads, one against each of the two encampments. At the exact same time, under the noses of the circling dragons Slaughter and his Renegades bust into the Right Wing encampment, while Plisken, Nest, and Orion break into the Left.

Swamp Thing begins encasing his group with organic protection grown from the woods around him, to provide some cover for the Planeteers who prepare to summon their hero and Social Justice Warrior icon....

EARTH

WIND

WATER

FIRE

HEART

With their powers combined, they form Captain Planet.....

The battle now truly begins, as the Bronze Dragons are alerted to the fighting as well.

The Planeteers accomplish bringing their super-hero friend in just in time, because immediately afterwards, Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, and Mercer mow down all five of them with machine gun fire. The Planeteers manage to get out several complaints about how nobody needs an AR-15 with their last breaths, while Sachi the monkey uses sign language to say “I'm comin Harambe”.

The Bronze Dragons swoop down in unison, but the Renegades focus fire on the center and take out Bronze Dragon #2 before the other two dragons swallow Red Dog and Taurus whole. Slaughter and the former Cobra Viper Mercer turn to focus their attacks on the next dragon; but Swamp Thing manages to join the fight by hitting Mercer with a White energy blast, while slaughtering Slaughter with a tree trunk to the face.

Apollo and Orion are locked in a powerhouse small g, big B god Battle, while Keno and Enfys Nest are locked in a Becks-esque pitched battle as well. Sarumon and Snake Plisken was not as even a match though as Sarumon simply motioned his staff towards the ex-con turned hero sending him into an oak tree from the Second Age eye patch first. Apollo and Orion get all mystical and ethereal before they deliver some cosmic, lightning punches into each other's domes until they finally, gracefully, and honorably join each other in death. Keno keeps the fight going with some serious Kung Fu that would make no one wonder why they pulled him out of the Donatello suit and gave him a name; but Enfys Nest comes back with her aggressive, yet skilled style and smokes him in the face with her energy staff.

Capt. Planet joins the scene, flying in fast, flanked by the two remaining Bronze Dragons. Enfys Nest stands ready for their attack, but her defenses are unnecessary as Master Ti and Master Jinn leap out of the woods and attack. Shaak Ti forcefully Force pushes Capt. Power into Dragon #1 knocking them both senseless. Qui Gonn, in unison with his Jedi partner leaps onto the back of Dragon #3 delivering a perfectly placed Lightsaber thrust into the back of the dragon's neck, he then gracefully leaps off the back of the dying dragon and delivers his green saber into the chest of Capt. Planet.

Ti, Jinn, and Nest then join forces and rush Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing stands on the defensive and sends a enveloping sheet of white energy towards the trio from a Far Far away Galaxy. Qui Gon and Shaak Ti ignite their lightsabers and block the blast, but Nest is not so well-equipped and is de-materialized by it. Shaak and Qui dig inward, focusing and combining all of their Force powers through the vehicle of their lightsabers to send the energy back at Swamp Thing, who is surprisingly being overtaken by it; when Sarumon rushes into the scene and delivers a magical blast that throws off the concentration of the Jedi Masters allowing the full power of White Lantern Swamp Thing to obliterate them.

A dazed Swamp Thing looks up to see the outreached hand of Sarumon the White over top of him.

“I thought I alone knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men”...

As Sarumon helps his partner up he responds inquisitively: “An Alliance”??

TEAM Vs. The Striders of Rohan

TEAM is Loki (w/ Scepter and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Thanos (w/ Power Stone and Soul Stone), Death Adder, and Death Adder Jr.

The Striders of Rohan are Gandalf the White, Radaghast the Brown, Blue Wizard #1, Legolas of the Woodland Realm, Elrond, Riders of Rohan #1-8, Samwise Gamgee, and Gondor Soldier #1

“Six stones to rule them all, six stones to find them, six stones to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them”.

Thanos admires the tranquility of the Woodland Realm and believes it will be a great place for him to dominate and rule with his particular brand of Iron-Fisted Benevolence that he so excels at. He stares down at his Gauntlet, admiring the Power Stone placed inside it. The Soul Stone is absent, as TEAM has still not decided who to sacrifice in order to obtain it; but Thanos knows that the Power Stone will not be lonely for long. His plan has worked out well so far, as he knows that Loki and The Collector are not long for this league. Thanos purposely places himself behind these two, anticipating their deaths destined to bring him even more power. The two ax-wielders, Death Adder and his son have pledged allegiance to the Mad Titan and faithfully flank him on his left and right ready to defend Thanos with their lives.

In the meantime, not too far away a Fellowship of those ready to defend Middle Earth from being ruled by a Dark Lord of such evil and malice. This last great alliance of Men and Elves marched on Thanos for the whole of Middle Earth....

As the Fellowship of the Gauntlet approaches Thanos looks to his two Golden Axe henchmen and reminds them that “the pawns always move first”. The trio hang back while Loki in all of his mischief emerges from a high tree in the form of a giant serpent. Biting at the throats of two of the Riders of Rohan and sending the Gondor Soldier into a boulder dazing the young man. The eight Riders of Rohan were hand selected because they were the best horsemaster-soldiers that the illustrious warriors of Rohan had to offer. The Gondor Soldier on the other hand had never done much soldiering before today, he was simply the young son of the King of Gondor, who wanted to go but whose life could not be risked in such a dangerous battle. The young man by the name of Doriath was given some armor and the familial sword of paternal lineage and wished the best. As the young man lay there, he watches Loki convert back into human form and dispatch two more Riders of Rohan. The Blue Wizard attempts to cast an ancient spell from the Second Age; but his magic is overpowered by Loki who focuses his power through his Scepter and slices the Blue Wizard in two. Loki turns to face Gandalf; but his power is more established than his blue counterpart. Gandalf calls upon THE FLAME OF ANOR and with his staff and sword Glamdring in hand banishes Loki back to the shadows. The Collector hits Rohan Rider #8 with a cosmic energy blast; but Elrond draws his curved Elven blade and in mid-air relieves The Collector of his head.

Thanos smirks after the events that have just taken place. The smirk then grows larger as the two Infinity Stones owned by Loki and The Collector are telikinetically drawn directly into the Gauntlet of Thanos. Thanos lightly laughs and then looks to his Death Adder henchmen yelling: “ATTACK”.

Thanos does not have immensely high hopes for his henchmen, but is slightly surprised that they are handled so quickly. Gandalf and Radaghast envelop Legolas and Elrond in a magical field that guides both their spinning bodies and the pair of arrows fired by each of them simultaneously. The four magic guided arrows easily find their marks in the four eyes of Death Adder and Death Adder Jr.

But the Gauntlet could not be undone....

Thanos pulls his mighty sword and with the power of the Infinity Stones murders Radaghast the Brown Wizard as if he possessed no more power than a helpless child. The remaining Riders of Rohan rush at Thanos, but are dispatched in one fell swing of his weapon. Elrond valiantly rushes at Thanos, with Samwise the brave following behind him with more courage than a platoon of soldiers. Thanos simply taps the side of his Gauntlet and directs a flurry of cosmic power turning the nearby Elrond and Samwise into dust and knocking the remaining members of The Striders of Rohan Fellowship to the ground. Gandalf and Legolas attempt to get up and regain their composure; but Thanos is marching towards them vigilantly to finish them off. Thanos steps over the dead bodies of both teams menacingly on his way towards the injured Elf and Wizard.

It was at that moment, when all hope was lost, that Doriath: Son of the King took up his Father's sword and in a last ditch swing cut off the Gauntlet of Thanos and restored hope to Middle Earth.....

Sx W8 - Kittens vs Midgets

Kittens are Supergirl, Powergirl, Hades, Dracula, Princess Tomato of the Salad Kingdom, and Gold Dragon #1-3.

Midgets are Larfleeze, Emperor Palpatine w/ Royal Guard #1 & 2, Count Dooku w/ FA-4, Assajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, and Mother Talzin.

Wasting absolutely no time, the Kittens go hard on the offensive by creating a ring of fire around the assembled Midget team who was still strategizing a sound defense. The three dragons along with both cousins of Superman, fly in the air and torch the ground below along with every tree and plant. The midges stay huddled close with the exception of Larfleeze who charges at Powergirl and engages her in battle. Acolyte is able to drop Gold Dragon #3 from the sky using her bow but Supergirl lifts a fallen limb from the ground and fires it back at Nightsister caving her skull in. Mother Talzin fires bolts of green energy from her hands and barely grazes the Kryptonian woman, not nearly enough to kill her but enough to send her into a rage and fly into the circle of flames and beat the Nightsister matriarch to death. Supergirl then turns to face Asajj Ventress as Count Dooku and Emperor Palpatine take on the two remaining dragons.

The two experienced Sith Lords are able to use the force to create a path out of the flames and into the unscorched forest. The two gold dragons give chase and Palpatine and Dooku manage to kill both dragons but not before FA-4 and Royal Guard #2 are destroyed. Dooku, Palp and Royal Guard charge at Dracula who is hiding by a tree afraid of the flames. Dracula grabs Royal Guard #1, kills him and begins to drink his blood while Dooku then quickly avenges his teammate by chopping the head off Dracula. Dooku then gets unexpectedly killed by a pitchfork to the back and just before the invisible Hades is able to strike down the Emperor, the dark side of the force help Palpatine hold his attacker at bay even though he cannot see the greek god. A quick bolt of lightning is able to knock the Help of Darkness from the head of the guardian of the underworld and these two defenders of evil are now staring at each other face to face. Palpatine releases his grip on the immortal god and sends him back home when he cuts both his pitchfork and torso in half in one quick slash of his lightsaber.

Asajj Ventress tries her hardest to keep Supergirl at bay when Powergirl lands by her side drenched in the blood of Larfleeze. Asajj feels the dark side presence when Palpatine joins her by her side. The master and apprentice of Dooku both back up to retreat to a better defensive position when Asajj steps on Princess Tomato and slips into the still burning flames nearby. Both kryptonians seize the opportunity to blast her to death with heat vision.

Not wanting to get his fourth death for his Midget overlord, Emperor Palpatine reluctantly calls for a retreat and is immediately withdrawn from the match causing both Supergirl and Powergirl to sigh a breath of relief.

Week 8 Consortium

Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Better Than All of You

The Dinomites are Chief Chirpa, Teebo (w/ a Hammer Bros. Suit), Logray (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Wicket W. Warrick (w/ a Racoon Leaf), Ewok Scout (w/ a Frog Suit), Ewok Warrior, Ewok Elder, Capt. Tarpals (w/ Super Scope 6), Daredevil, Android Human Torch and Toro, Darkseid, Nazgul #8 w/ Mordor Horse, and Tom Brady in The Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit.

Betters are Black Panther, Shuri, Okoye, Nakia, M'Baku, Tatsu, Nemesis Enforcer, Bebop, Rocksteady, Sailor Moon, Nash Bridges, Bruno Samartino, John Rambo, Rocky Balboa, Ray Park, and The Rockers: Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty.

Week 8 Democracy: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time

The Assassins are Sauron, Galadriel, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Witch King of Angmar with Mordor Horse, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, and Elves #1-8.

Gentle is Zeus, Hera, 20 Dwarves, Nazgul #6 w/ Fell Beast, 4 Cave Trolls, 5 Evil Wolves, 2 Spinosauruses, 1 T-Rex, Gohan, 4 Decepticons, 5 Transformers, and Wong.

TEAM vs Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassins

Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassins are: Poggle the Lesser, Sun Fac, Geonosian Spy, Geonosian Drone, Geonosian Soldier, 12 Guardian Knights as Dragonstorm, Ginaz Swordmaster Larry Reamer, Indiana Jones and Henry Jones Sr., Dr Manhattan, Vision, Ajax being assigned a Green Lantern Ring, Franklin Richards, Jason Bourne w/ Green Lantern Ring, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander

TEAM is: Frank Herbert, God Emperor Leto II, Loki (w/Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Trigon, Titan #1, Duke Leto Atreides, Iron Hide, Duke Nukem, Ultra Magnus, Hammer Bros. #1-10


The Old Man stared out at the vast expanse of the Arrakken landscape for the first time. A world previously restricted to the confines of his imagination, now come to life in front of him. It was hard for him to contain his excitement, his pure joy at seeing his creation in the flesh. He took off his hood, removed the stillsuit catchtube from his nose, and took a deep dry breath of the spice filled air.

“This,” he thought, “is the perfect place to write my new masterpiece.”

The Old Man walked along the shield wall until he found a small recess in the formation. A cave no larger than a small room but big enough to provide shade from the relentless heat of the midday sun and protection from wind-blown sand. He steadied himself against the wall and slowly lowered himself to the ground with a deep sigh. It has been thirty three years since he used this body, so his movements were slow and precise.

Comfortable, he removed his portable typewriter from the protective case he had been carrying. The Old Man reattached the catchtube in his nose and as his fingers found their home again on the keys, the Imperial Basin that lay in front of him was transformed into a battlefield of new characters forced to bend to his will.



The skirmish started small, Geonosians (from that dirty Star Wars, written by that thief Lucas), fired their guns at the attacking Hammer Brothers. Wave after wave of endless hammers barraged the five bugs but they kept firing while jumping and evading. Hammer Brothers 7, 6 and 2 all fell before the first hammer found its mark. Geonosian Spy was first to die followed quickly by Sun Fac who was caught off guard. The fight didn’t last much more than a minute or two but in the end, only Poggle the Lesser remained. His victory was short lived, for as he tried to escape, he found himself soon run over by Iron Hide as he and Ultra Magnus moved in to the next battle.

The two TEAM Transformers show up to a fight already in progress. Duke Nukem and Titans #1&2 are taking on Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Jason Bourne and Henry Jones Sr and Jr. (they named the dog Indiana). Indiana looks up in time to see his teammate Dragonstorm burning a line in the sand toward him and his fight. Using his whip, he manages to attach himself to the exposed member of Dr. Manhattan who flinches at the pain and lifts Indiana to safety. Dangling safely above, He can only watch as his father and friends are burned alive along with both titans and the bad mouthed video game hero.

Iron Hide and Ultra Magnus arrive to watch as the aforementioned carnage takes place and waste no time firing arm mounted rockets at Dragonstorm. He reacts by arcing its flight path quickly and charging back down toward the duo. Rocket after rocket continue to find their mark but the two find themselves engulfed in flames before the damage can bring down the giant beast. Dragonstorm struggles to maintain balance after the last attack and crashes ungracefully in the sand. Dazed, it barely has time to regain its bearings when its head is impaled by a bolt from Trigon.

The beast falls with a thud and Trigon steps down off its corpse. Vision fires energy blasts from his mind stone as Ajax sends projectiles his way using constructs from his Green Lantern ring. Trigon rips a horn from the head of the fallen Dragonstorm and fires it through the chest of Ajax. Trigon continues toward Vision who tries to slow his progress long enough for Franklin Richards to assist. Vision falls as Trigon commands the air around him to change into cyclone of flames engulfing the hero. Vision’s death is quickly avenged as Franklin Richards takes over the mind of Trigon and sends him through a thousand lifetimes of hell in a single minute, long enough for the unaware Trigon to gouge out his brain through his eye sockets with his bare hands.

Franklin Richards sees a canteen at his feet. Dying of dehydration he pops the cap and consumes the contents.

“Thirsty?” a nearby voice asks.

Richards turns to see The Collector smiling. Richards feels strange and the veins in his skin turn black as the Aether takes control of his body and kills him. He chuckles to himself briefly before the sword of Ginaz Swordsman Larry Reamer is driven into his back and out his chest. The Collector turns around and grabs the noble roofer in a bear hug and falls on him, killing them both, shish-ka-bob style.

“Indiana! Indiana!” Yells Henry Jones, Sr.

Surprised to see his father alive, he drops down off of Dr. Manhattan. (Yes, he was dangling there the entire time.) “How did you survive? I saw you get burnt to a crisp over there!” he says turning and pointing at his father’s corpse. Confused, he slowly turns back around to see a smiling Loki.

“Sorry ol’ Boy” says Loki who then grabs the nearby whip and strangles the professor to death.

Dr. Manhattan upon seeing the shapeshifter change, attempts to destroy the distracted Asgardian but finds himself immobilized. Loki is surprised to see a fully conscious but not moving Dr. Manhattan standing next to him. Confused he looks around to see Duke Leto Atreides and his Grandson God Emperor Leto II standing next to him.

“Finish him off”, The good Duke says. My Grandson’s got him tied up for you.

Controlling the very environment of Arrakis is second nature to the son of Muad’dib. Loki casually unsheathes his sceptre containing the space stone, and taps the Dr on the knee banishing him to another dimension.


The Old Man pulled the final sheet out and stacked them with the others inside his case. He carefully set the typewriter on top of the stack, shut the lid and slowly raised himself back up to stand and looked out over the empty landscape again.

“Perfect... “ he whispers to himself before slowly walking off into the horizon.

The Angry Midgets or Whatever that Long Ass Name Is V. The Dumbest Guy on TNT NBA

The Angry Midgets or Whatever that Long Ass Name Is: Yoda w/ White Lantern Ring, Magneto, Larfleeze, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1-2, Neo, Allia Atriedes, Stilgar, Gurney Halleck, Achilles, Colonel James Monroe w/ dark saber

Dumbest Guy on TNT NBA: Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides, Erasmus in an Ornithopter, Zufa and Norma Cenva, Neo Cymeks #1-10, Jotaro Kujo, Joseph Joestar, Noriaki Kakyoin, Mohammad Avdol, Jean-Pierre Polnareff, and Iggy The Fool, DIO, Oingo, Boingo, Pet Shop, and Hol Horse in a Military Humvee, Balrogs #1-5, Terminators #1-5, The Spectre, Nightcrawler

Alright this match is gonna suck and it’s gonna be short.

So the Midgets are walking down the dessert and Magneto sees some dude from the Renaissance era who is somehow still alive for this in an Ornithopter so he decides to crush the flying device with his magnetic powers killing Erasmus.

Colonel James Monroe sees Duncan Idaho and decides to have an almighty sword battle. Although James Monroe had a dark saber, Duncan Idaho was the superior swordsman and kills James Monroe with a clean dodge of the saber and a stab through the heart of James Monroe with his sword.

I don’t know who DIO and Oingo Boingo and whoever the hell is apart of that group is, but they’re riding in a Humvee that gets blown to a thousand bits by Neo flying right through the Humvee.

Balrogs #1-5 kills Achilles, Allia Atriedes, Stilgar with their flame swords. Emperor Palpatine and Larfleeze kill the other group of anime characters that I don’t really know anything about by shooting a combined energy blasts of lightning from Palpatine and Orange Lantern Ring power from Larfleeze.

Then the Spectre comes behind Palpatine and kills Emperor Palpatine and Neo using God’s vengeance. Magneto then throws Terminators #1-5 at the Spectre, Yoda shoots a white lantern ring energy blasts at the Spectre and Agent Orange shoots an Orange Lantern Ring energy blasts at the Spectre, ultimately killing him.

While Magneto is focusing on the Spectre, Nightcrawler grabs him and teleports him to the edge of a cliff and pushes him off the cliff. Once Nightcrawler teleports back to where the battle is being held, Yoda notices what Nightcrawler had done and vaporizes him with a white lantern ring energy blasts.

Zufa Cenva sees that her team is losing and decides to try and end the battle by letting a huge mental energy discharge. The explosion looked like an explosion from a nuke. Once the sand and dust finally dissipates, all that was left standing was Yoda protecting himself with a shield made by his White Lantern Ring.

Better Than All of You Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time

Better Than All of You is Decker, Odd Job, Jaws, Doc Brown, Marty Mcfly, Forest Gump, Guns N' Roses (Duff is in a Penguin Suit), John Rambo, Jack Reacher, Sonny, Detective Spooner, Mike Sroka, Laura Sroka, James Sroka, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Dr. Doom, Shuri, Okoye, Nakio, M' Baku, Agamemnon & Juno, and Red Dragon #3-5.

Be Gentle It's My First Time King Ghodira, Kratos, Sinister Six: Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin, Sandman, Mysterio, Vulture, & Electro, Zeus, Hera, Carnage, Task Master, and Ulysses S. Grant.


Heeeyyaayyyeee it's your favorite Watcher, The Neon Master Pogo here. Ima just hangin out here on Arrakis, livin life, suckin in some stale air, sweating my butt off, and waiting for this match to start.

___________ _____________ …..........

Sup guys, Neon Master Pogo here. You guys ready for a wicked awesome match in the desert??

____________________ …...... __________________

Word YO!! What is up?? I mean, what is down.... Ha Ha Ha Ha... Get it, what is down?? Let's do this boys, I'm the Neon Master Pogo and we got a great match lined up today....

______________................____________________...................................________________________________________.......................................

Hey, the Pogemeister here, errrrr........................

___________........___________

Sup guys, I think I might have heat stroke or something. They told me to wear a stillsuit, but I just didn't want to drink my own pee and stuff and now I think I am dehydrated. Not really sure what is going on, but the match is underway. Did any of you bring a Powerade I could steal a swig of??

The Sinister Six was definitely fighting all those dudes whose names I can never remember from The Black Panther movie, who are all dead now, but Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and Mysterio didn't seem to make it out either.

Hey guys, it's YO Fave the Neon Mizzle Po=Pizzle to...........................

Lemme finish this turd before I black out for good.

And some dudes were fighting, and I'm thirsty and they fought and I was like YEAH DUDES. And they was like thanks for watching Pogo and the guy from Blade Runner got dead and Gen. Grant was like all like YO like I am an awesome leader and his people were following him and stuff and I was like yeah, no wonder he won the Civil War and is like the Great great great great great uncle of Josh Houslander who is a total bro. Cuz slavery was bad n' stuff. Kratos killed Guns N' Roses which sucked but at least he put Duff out of his misery, cuz that dude must have been so hot in that Penguin Suit. I'm thirsty. Dr. Doom did something mean to Kratos tho and he ain't even alive anymore. Electro zapped Doom with zappy stuff after that tho. Titan Cymeks be > than old school Titans, who be > than Greek gods, so Agamemnon and Juno killed Zeus and Hera. Task Master and Carnage had gnarly fights with Rambo and Reacher but the Gentles came out on top both times. Sonny and Spooner was like doing stuff to put up a fight and got Odd Job and Jaws and the Dragons to help out but King Ghodira popped in and was all like “RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR” with his first head and “ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR” with his other head and “BLAAARRRRRRRRGHHHH” with his other other head and I was like “AHHHHHHHHHHHH” and woke up and was scared and then Ghodira straight up jacked the rest of the the Betters and it was like.......

Heeeeey, y'all Neon Master Pogo here and I'm ready to, hold up these dudes is mostly dead and....

____________......

It's me Pogo and...........

Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Striders of Rohan

Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Axe Cop w/ Wexler, Flute Cop, Uni-Baby, Grey Diamnond, The Best Fairy Ever, & Batwarthogman, Agen Kolar, Eeth Koth, Mon El, Hellas, Durge, Nazgul #8 on his Mordor Horse, Sandtrooper #1-6 on Dewback #1-6, and Wedge Antilles in an Ornithopter.

The Striders of Rohan are Sandworm #19-20, Fremen #1, 5, 7-20, Cyborg Superman, Odin (w/ a White Lantern Ring), Fedayeen #1-5, Violet, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, Admiral William Kelley and Kraglin in an AT-AT, Jedi Master #5 & 6 in an AT-AT, Jedi Master #7 & 8, in an AT-AT, Black Flash, Circuit Breaker, Kylo Ren (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), Apocalypse, and Xenomorph Alien #1-7.


As Eeth Koth and Agen Kolar pull aside their team's most powerful character Mon El to formulate a plan against a Strider Team with a definite home field advantage, Axe Cop comes into the scene. “Alright Dinomites, I'm in charge here” says Axe Cop commandingly.

Flute Cop chimes in: “Hey boss, it sounds like these two Jedi and the Daxomite had a plan going, we might want to hear them out”.

“Flute Cop, that's a terrible idea. I'm in charge, because I am the one who needs to be charge, mostly because I have the biggest axe. Here's the plan: It's true that the Striders have Sandworms. Sandworms are tough, but I have the secret for killing them. Lucky for us, THE STRIDERS ARE DUMB. And we are going to take advantage of that by chopping their heads off, because they are bad guys and we are good guys. And the job of good guys is to chop the heads off of bad guys. The job of bad guys is to get their head's chopped off by good guys. Mainly, me”.

“So how are we gonna do it boss”?? Asks Grey Diamond.

“I am going to hop on my trusty T-Rex Wexler and fly to the rental planet to get a Sandworm Horn. The Sandworm Horn, will make all of the Sandworms our friends. They will then eat the Striders instead of us. Which is good, because THE STRIDERS ARE DUMB”. Says Axe Cop. Axe Cop continues: “Now, Wexler and I are going to the Sandworm Horn Rental Planet, everybody try not to die before we get back. Once we get back, Wexler will blow on the Sandworm Horn to stop them, and I will chop the heads off of all of the other Striders”. “WEXLER” He screams as his dinosaur rushes on to the scene to pick him up and fly him off of the planet.

On the other side of the Dune, The Fedayeen lead the other Fremen in pulling out their thumpers in an attempt to summon Shai Halud in the form of the mighty Sandworms. The steady beat of the thumpers begin as the Fremen await the massive beasts who are sure to come.

In the meantime, the rest of the Striders have about as much intention of waiting on the Sandworms as the Dinomites do in waiting for Axe Cop and Wexler. So, the brawl begins in the center and most heat-intense area of the Dunes.

Cyborg Superman flies in to the forefront of the battle and is met by Mon El. The smaller and not quite as powerful Mon El holds his own at first in the brawl with C.S.; but the help from Jedi Masters Koth and Kolar can't show up fast enough to aid their partner Mon El. Mon El manages to significantly damage the robot parts of C.S.; but can't finish him. The Cyborg Hank musters his remaining strength, grabs a hold of Mon El and breaks his neck and back over his Kryptonian, metal knee. Cyborg Superman drops the body of Mon El and turns in vicious victory, but is then met by two perfectly placed lightsabers of Koth and Kolar, who finish the job Mon El could not.

Bill Kelley leads his trio of AT-ATs into the Dunes; but unfortunately for them, the AT-AT Killah himself, Wedge Antilles is in an Ornithopter, joined by Grey Diamond and Batwarthogman. Wedge is doing all of the work as Diamond and BWHM eat popcorn and make fart noises with their armpits. All ornithopters on Arrakis are equipped with tow cables for pulling spice harvesters out, so all Wedge has to do is the same move he did on Hoth three times in a row. Wedge takes out Bill and Kraglin's Walker first, and then easily wraps the tow cable around the other two, bringing them down the same way.

Durge engages in a pitched battle (shout out Becks) with Duncan Idaho, while Hellas catches Black Flash with a clothesline that sends him back into the speed force even deader than he was before. Kylo Ren cues the Pokemon music but, it ends up with getting a Morgul Blade to the throat from Nazgul #8. The Xenomorphs leap out of the rock outcropping to the West at Best Fairy Ever and Uni-Baby, but the mayhem that is currently ensuing is made to look like peace and quiet, when all of the sudden two massive Sandworms with Fremen on top controlling them with their Maker Hooks emerge from the Dunes. The battlefield is filled with broken ornithopter parts, massive sandstorms, and not that many dead bodies, because the majority have been consumed by Shai Halud.

Odin, along with Apocalypse, who grabbed Circuit Breaker, feeling bad about what he did to her in the match against The Assassins moved well off into the rock zone to stay safe. They watch, as the worms consume all of The Dinomites in sight. They specifically enjoy the protien filled bodies of the Dewbacks.

The Striders seem victorious as the two Fremen driven Sandworms travel side by side through the Dunes, when Axe Cop and Wexler show up after unfortunately realizing that the Rental shop was sold out of Sandworm Horns. “I WILL CHOP YOUR HEAD'S OFF” Axe Cop screams as he and Wexler land on Sandworm #20 and begin chopping the heads off of the Fremen. In all of the chaos, the other great worm attacks and brings down Worm #20, while consuming Axe Cop and his friend Wexler as well.

Week 7 Consortium

Week 7 Consortium
George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

The House Elves are:
Sandworms #1-18, Omnius, Ajax, Luke Skywalker, T-1000, Soundwave (w/Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill (w/ only one leg), Slugfest, Autoscout #1, Autoscout #2), Sgt. Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, Mercer, Shaak Ti, Predi-Alien, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-9

The Sith Aids are: Director Krennic, Watto, Winnie the Pooh, Padme Amidala, Jet Jaguar, Ultra Man, The Deluxe Insecticons: Chop Shop, Venom, Barrage, and Ransack, Dinobot, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Bristleback, Icepick, Scowl, Slog, and Wildfly, 25 Stormtroopers, 9 velociraptors, and 9 Jedi Younglings.

Week 7 Democracy

The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Empire

The Kittens are Supergirl, Powergirl, Starfire, Blackfire, Spider-Man, Aphrodite, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Shrapnel, and Kickback, Romeo (in a Tanooki Suit), Juliet (in a Gommba Sock), and Gold Dragon #3

The Empire is The Wicked Witch of the West, The Wicked Witch of the East, Flying Monkey #1-10, Gold Member, Mandarin, Red Skull, Korg, Meek, Mole Man, Wario, Mr. Sinister, Crash Bandicoot, Teddy Boy, and The Herculoids: Zandor, Tara, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, and Gleep.

Season X, Week 6 - Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins vs 2 Hungry Dinomites That Have Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins' are: Brainiac, Reverse Flash, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Indigo Lantern #1-2, Ras Al' Ghul, Salak, Ozymandias, The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, Beast Boy, Snape, Nite Owl, Rorschach, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Zombie #1-4

2 Hungry Dinomites That Have Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight are: Superman Prime w/ red lantern ring, Voldemort, Captain America on his motorcycle, Nightwing on his motorcycle, Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, Jango Fett and Jar Jar in a Ornithopter, Ant-Man on a 4-Wheeler, Wasp on a 4-Wheeler, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl w/ the Sword of Light, Ronan The Accusar w/ a red lantern ring, The Ghostbusters in Punishers Van, Red Robin in a Helicopter Suit, The Technobots: Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Nosecone


Ant-Man and the Wasp are rolling down the street on their 4 wheelers following the Technobots when they are met by The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man and Beast Boy. The fighting quickly takes off and Ant-Man and the Wasp shrink down to try and sneak away, leaving the Technobots to all get destroyed.They were almost able to make it as they watched the technobots take out The Chief and Mento when Captain America and Nightwing showed up on motorcycles and squished them both. Cap and Nightwing then easily finished off the fight before racing off to find another battle.

“So tell me more about this ghoul we have to catch.” asked Venkman as the ghostbusters sped along the streets in the Punisher’s van.

“It isn’t A ghoul, its Ras Al’ Ghul” replied Ray annoyed. “And he has a buddy Salaak.”

"Mmm... I like Salad." said Venkman.

Suddenly the car is brought to a halt by Indigo Lanterns #1-2 who stop the car with whatever powers Indigo Lanterns have. The ghostbusters get out and Ray and Venkman take charge at Salaak and Ras Al’ Ghul while Egon and the black one restrain the two Lanterns with their proton packs. Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and Ronan the Accuser swoop in to help their Dinomite teammates and Ethan Hunt, Nite Owl and Rorschach all come into assist the Assassins. Things are looking good quickly for the Dinomites who seem to have this fight under control when Ray and Venkman accidently cross the streams and blow up their car killing everyone in the fight. All of them. Boom. Don’t question it, it happened.

Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop, Snape and Voldemort have some unfinished personal issues to work out when Jar Jar and Jango crash into the building 9/11 style in an Ornithopter. A combination of Jango not being able to appropriately handle the ancient winged technology and Jar Jar just being nearby caused confusion in the cockpit. The ship lands on the two wizards and as the ship goes up in flames killing the 4 of them, debris rains down on the street below killing Red Robin, Ozymandias, and Zombies #1-4.

The final fight pits Brainiac, Reverse Flash, Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian against Superman Prime, Captain America, Nightwing and Tom Brady in the Hulk Buster suit. Nightwing and Tom Brady are “keepin’ up with the J’onzzez” in a sweet fight while Captain America takes out Reverse Flash because he was either running backwards or really slow. I’m not sure because I didn’t actually google him. Maybe he is just a guy who wears his outfit backwards like Kriss Kross. Either way he’s dead. But then Brainiac uses his telekenetic powers or whatever (googled that one) and gets Cap to go rogue and kill Nightwing. Superman sees the betrayal and holds Cap momentarily with his red lantern ring while Tom Brady runs over to kick his american ass. Before he can get there, a beam of heat vision from Martian Manhunter takes the head off the GOAT.

Superman cannot hold Cap with his ring while simultaneously fighting off Brainiac and both Martians. Martian Manhunter and Miss Martin continue to fly around the man of steel causing him to take to the sky and use his ring as a defensive shield against a barrage of energy projectiles. What looked like a slam dunk to win early on in his hometown, Superman Prime is now faced with a tough decision. With Cap now turned against him, the 4 on 1 fight appears to be too much to handle. In a heroic effort to save Cap and himself for another day, he opts to retreat out of the match by taking to the sky.

Week 7

-325 Points in Arrakis
-Deathmatch
-Prizes: Fire Flower, Apache Helicopter, and a Speed Ring
-Match-ups:

-TEAM Vs. Ahaoka's Acrobatic Assassins (Fizz)
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Striders of Rohan (Josh)
-Better Than All of You Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time (Pogo)
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Consortium)
-The Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs. The Empire (Democracy)
-The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Kyle)

The Gentle First President Vs. The Phoenix Suns

A rotary landline buzzes and rings away while Joshatu waits on the other end of the line.

{RINGGGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGG..........}.........

Pogo: Uhhhhhhhh.... Hel-low.

Joshatu: Why aren't you at your match.

Pogo: Umm, I am. I'm totally here, ready to be a watcher and stuff.

Joshatu: No you aren't. I just called you at home and you answered. Which means you overslept AGAIN and are hanging at your dirt apartment; when you were supposed to be in Metropolis three hours ago. I NEED THIS MATCH WATCHED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!!

Pogo: Yeah. Yeah. I deserved that. Umm, I can be there in an hour or two, I just need a shower and some food, and I need to stop at the Dollar Store for hair gel, but then I can be right over.

Joshatu: Nevermind. You're pathetic. I'll just watch them both.

Pogo: But they'll be going on at the same time. All four teams will be there. That'll be.......

Joshatu: Shut up Pogo. I'll figure it out. I always do.



Barkley's TEAM Vs. The Gentle House Elves

TEAM is Superman, Superboy, Loki (w/ Sceptre and Space Stone), The Collector (w/ Reality Stone), Tripticon (w/ Brunt and Full Tilt), Scorpononk (w/ Lord Zarack and Fasttrack), The Constructicons (Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, and Scavenger), Bill Rizer and Lance Beam, Kefka, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and Hammer Bros. #1-4.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Spectre, Hal Jordan, Al Capone (w/ Power Ring) on a Speeder Bike, Saint Walker (w/ a green lantern ring), Cyborg, Resplendent Man, Lex Luthor, Alan Scott, Skeletor, Robo-Barkley, Fortress Maximus, Star Sapphire, and Terminator #1.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Doomsday. Zilla, Megalon, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Goku, Goku (w/ a green lantern ring), Steppenwolfe, Green Lantern #1-2, Dr. Conner Weidman (w/ Power Ring) on Allosaurus #1

George Washington's House Elves are Bizarro Superman, Gandalf the Grey, Thor, Godzilla, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Agent Smith, Harry Potter, Dumbledore, and Vampire #5-9.



Superman converses with his former arch-enemy and now de-facto teammate Lex Luthor in their massive fortress set up in the now unrecognizable city of Metropolis.

Superman speaks: “Well Lex, it looks we both have lost already. It was my duty to protect Metropolis and yours to take it over. From what I am seeing Metropolis doesn't even exist anymore”.

Lex retrorts: “On the contrary Kal. Now that we have Tripticon, Fortress Maximus, and Scorpononk combined in the place where the antiquated Metropolis once stood, we will create an Empire far beyond my wildest dreams”.

“Accept for when we are under attack and the city itself must transform to protect itself. Then what happens to the people residing inside”??

“Always the humanitarian Kal. What better protection is there than three city size Transformers?? And now that I have inserted Robo-Barkley into the spark of The Constructicons, Devastator is now faster, stronger, and capable of even more turrible damage when formed. The Washington/Be Gentle Team-up will have to bring more than a few Super-heroes to even make a dent in our defenses”.

**In the outskirts of the city, The Illuminati of the Gentle House Elves meets and formulates their plan of attack**

Gandalf, Dumbledore, Tony Stark, and Dr. Weidman are sitting at a small table in the tent of forward command. “Our actions decided upon here will set a battle in motion that has not been rivaled since the Second Age”. Says Gandalf.

“This is true Gandalf. We must be cautious”. Replies Albus.

Stark pipes in: “I'm not sure what has got the old guys so worried. We got magic coming from them. We have a truckload of giant monsters donated by Dr. Connely over here”.

“That's Conner”. The Paleontologist interrupts.

“Yeah, that's what I said. Conner's big monsters, Magical fruitcakes, some serious heavy hitters, and most importantly: Me. Now let's do this. Plan is simple. The big monsters go in first. The super-strong toughies come next. Then us super-smart dudes rush in and finish this thing. Who's with me”??

Gandalf groans and speaks: “Hmm, I remain critical of your arrogance Mr. Stark, but the plan seems just. This must work”.

“Let us begin. Send the beasts” says Dumbledore.

As planned by The Gentle Elves, the massive group of Kaiju come trouncing into Metropolis, but Luthor has defensive plans of his own. The massive giants of The First Time Washington crew are the first line of offense and are met by another group of giants that are the first line of defense for the Turrible TEAM.

Fortress Maximus, Tripticon, and Scorpononk all begin the process of transforming into massive robot form, while The Constructicons merge to form Robo-Devastator-Barkley. Godzilla clashes with Fortress Maximus, Zilla with Tripticon, Scorpononk with King Ghodira, and Devastator battles with Megalon, while The Cloverfield Monster lends some support to his monster brethren.

Perhaps no where near as large, but just as powerful Doomsday comes onto the scene and begins to search for the character we all know he came to fight, while leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Superman knows this as well and lands before Doomsday ready to do battle with the only being who has really proven to be worth his match. Doomsday and Superman begin to clash as they have before and the contest seems to be just as pitched as it has always been.

Bizarro, Steppenwolfe, Gandalf, and Dumbledore square off agianst Hal Jordan, Skeletor, Alan Scott, and Saint Walker in the center of time square, while Thor, Harry Potter, Iron Man, the Gokus, and Agent Smith fight Kefka, Cyborg, Loki, Resplendent Man, Star Sapphire, and The Spectre on top of The Daily Planet; but the battles quickly meld together and begin to go back and forth.

As battles erupt all over Metropolis, it is nearly impossible to tell which duo of teams is on top. The Spectre proclaims that his powers are god-like, when Thor reminds him that he actually is a god by throwing his hammer threw The Spectre's face. Godzilla kicks Fortress Maximus in the chest and then rips off his right arm while hitting the two head master units of Fortress Maximus with lightning breath. Star Sapphire, Loki, The Collector, and Cyborg run into some trouble when Harry and Dumbledore reunite and hit them with a double-double avada kedavra.

Al Capone boosts his own power level by 15% and mows down some vampires on his speeder bike, but gets a super fast karate chop to the throat from Agent Smith.

As Joshatu the great and powerful spends fifteen minutes staring at his laptop and trying to think of ways to not make Ed and Conner butthurt by showing wicked amounts of love to Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku, he realizes that it is an impossible task and probably shouldn't try so hard. So instead, I will simply acknowledge that they are ridiculously powerful “certified universe destroyers” and that I cannot possibly even understand how powerful they are. As I watch cluelessly, unable to interpret the battle, Kefka, Goku, and Black Goku all die in a spark of cosmic awesomeness. Bill Rizer and Lance Beam on the other hand are totally awesome 80s ripoffs who are amazing characters from an amazing video game; but the Gokus and Kefka are so powerful that their death explosion takes all 30 of the Contra characters lives.

Black Bolt does his best Jar Jar Binks impersonation and slips on a piece of poop and dies.

As the Doomsday and Superman fight rages on, Superboy jumps in and tries to help out the genetic material donor that helped bring him into existence. Doomsday is enraged by the idea that somebody would interrupt the fight he was born for. Superboy simply has not absorbed enough of the rays of the earth's yellow sun. He could not survive the onslaught of Doomsday's flurry of punches and quickly goes down to the might of Doomsday. As Superman rejoins the fight he is now enraged as well. The two green lanterns of Be Gentle attempt to lend a hand to Doomsday, but they are even less successful than Superboy. Superman simply turns his head and blasts the two alien lanterns with heat vision. As the two lanterns die, their two rings instantly fly onto the fingers of Superman and Doomsday who are both fueled by the will to destroy one another.

Tripticon and Zilla's groans and screams are translated into English and we realize they are debating who the better Godzilla rip-off is. But the answer is Tripticon, since he is made of metal and Zilla isn't. This is why Tripticon comes out on top of the fight.

Scorpononk is also made out of metal and fighting a giant monster who is not; but King Ghodhira is “lit” as people younger than me like to say; so the fight goes a little different.

Devastator versus Megalon would have been pretty legit, but with the adding of Charles Barkley's Turrible skills into the mix, the self-proclaimed “Most powerful Decepticon” proves his worth and delivers a massive roundhouse kick to the throat of Megalon that sends him and his mega-metal-rock arms down for the count.

Conner comes riding in on his Allosaurus, which he has named Goku just to make his roster even more confusing and devours all four Hammer Bros. while he maniacally laughs atop his dinosaur steed.

Tyson and Ali are about to square off against Steppenwolfe; but a series of nearby explosions sends them running into an abandoned wharehouse off the docks of Metropolis. “Get in here gorilla, or I'll punch the black off you” says Ali to Tyson as they jump into a large crate for cover. He finishes: “You best listen to me little Mike, I'm the best boxer to ever live”.

Tyson replies: “What?!!? There be billions of boxers better dan you. I'll eat yo children. Praise Allah”.

So they do both praise Allah together. It's a really nice moment. You shoulda been there.

Hal Jordan and Gandalf get in an argument about who is Josh's favorite character in this match and it becomes so intense that both of their heads explode. They do some really cool green lantern and magic stuff beforehand though.

Saint Walker uses his initial blue lantern ring to charge his new green lantern ring to 200%. He flies in fast to take on Agent Smith, but the head of the agents and dissenter of the Matrix system is still too fast for the alien double lantern wielder. Smith is able to break through the energy aura defenses of Saint Walker and vibrate a hand through his chest.

Bizarro may be significantly more powerful than Lex Luthor, but Luthor has proved himself a match for the regular Superman with all of his intelligence many times. Bizarro is a much easier mark. Luthor is able to entice Bizarro into one of his secret Metropolis lairs and hit him with a reverse engineered Kryptonite blast that obliterates the powers of Bizarro and makes him die powerless.

Alan Scott makes a move towards Thor and is able to keep the god of Thunder on the defensive for quite a while with his magical green lantern blasts. But Thor manages to bring the Hammer down on the Golden Age Green Lantern, whose ring shatters as he uses the last of his power to shield himself. Scott, falls down defenseless as Thor leaves to find another opponent.

The Terminator at first shows off his durability against Iron Man, but Tony Stark turns up the heat and blasts the futuristic robot to pieces with a flurry of mini-bot explosives.

Harry and his mentor Dumbledore are combining forces against Skeletor and they seem to have the upper hand. Skeletor does his best to use his powers of Snake Mountain, harnessed through his staff and sword to absorb and repel the attacks of the wizards, but the Hogwart grads turn up the power. As the magic becomes too much for annyone to handle, Resplendent Man rushes in and delivers a power-packed punch to the sword of Skeletor. Resplendent Man is blown back by the force of the explosion, while Dumbledore, Harry, and Skeletor are engulfed in it.

Steppenwolfe does not learn from the mistakes of others and attempts to once again interfere with the fight of Superman and Doomsday. The minion of Darkseid jumps into the center of the heated battle and gets in one good sucker punch on Supes. Superman, exhausted from this epic battle grabs the helmet of Steppenwolfe with one hand and his torso with the other. Steppenwolfe's head is ripped clean off as the battle resumes. But the inevitable moment we have been waiting for is upon us as Superman and Doomsday lean back and level each other with punches that could send a planet off its axis. Doomsday dies instantly, while Superman lies on the ground with his neck broken. The green lantern ring keeps him together for a few moments as the Last Son of Krypton finally unleashses the power held within him. An enormous blast of heat vision erupts from the dying body of Superman that slices the nearby Godzilla in half.

Iron Man flies up behind Dr. Conner and gets him to scurry over behind a collapsing building. “You ready for Plan B buddy”??

Conner retorts: “You definitely did not mention a Plan B”.

“Of course I didn't mention it before. Where did you get that phd from, Schoolcraft?? I didn't mention it before because I just thought of it”. Says Tony.

“Well, what's the plan, super-genius”?? Responds Conner sarcastically.

“We channel Thor's lightning power and we blow up the big monsters”. Says Stark.

Little does Conner and Iron Man realize, but the plan is already underway. Agent Smith has already begun disrupting the circuitry of Tripticon and Devastator by being part of the master code and the two enormous Decepticons are already locked in deathly combat with King Ghodira and the Cloverfield Monster. Luthor senses that Iron Man and Conner have a plan when he approaches the two. Iron Man sends a laser blast through the chest of Luthor while screaming to Thor to “FINISH IT”. Thor swings his hammer wildly and then throws it into the large melee. The monsters and gestalts all go down in a huge mix of power surge.

Resplendent Man sees that even with his Kryptonian derived powers he is no match for the power that has just been displayed. The meek looking native of Metropolis throws the wounded and powerless Alan Scott over his shoulder and grabs the box containing the world's two best boxers as he retreats to safety.....

Super Kitties VS. John and Vader's House of Sith AIDS

Super Kitties: Supergirl, Darth Traya w/ Red Lantern Ring, The Red Hood, Starfire, Arsenal, blackfire, Mystique, green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Sonic, Tails, Sub-Zero, Iron Giant and Gold Dragon #1

John and Vader’s House of Sith AIDS: The Fallen, Jet Jaguar, Ultraman, Darth Vader w/ Red Lantern RIng, Darth Bane, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, 501st Stormtrooper Division, White Suit Anakin, Stormtrooper #1-50, The Rancor, Snarl, and Death Troopers #1-5

The Super Kitties and John and Vader’s House of Sith AIDS enter the streets of Metropolis precisely at midnight; facing across from one another. The streets clear out after the rumblings of multiple giants walk the streets. They commence their battle. The Fallen leans over to Darth Vader and says “take dat fox looking thing with two tails out.” Vader grunts and moves his hand up. Before Tails has a chance to react, he is force choked to death. This brings sonic into a fit of rage. Spider-Man then shoots a web at the calf of Ultraman and then gives the web to Sonic as he then runs around Ultraman at 3000 Miles per hour and brings him down like an AT-AT. Once Ultraman falls he is then killed by a flurry of energy beams from Starfire and Blackfire. Sonic, still enraged, kills Stormtroopers #1-15 but then falls to the same fate that his friend Tails fell to from Vader.

Black Canary, Green Arrow, Black Widow and Hawkeye see an army of Stormtroopers and Death Troopers in front of them and decide to use their tactical fighting abilities and killing prowess to take out Stormtroopers #16-50 and Death Troopers #1-5 out, but not without losing one of their own. Black Widow sacrifices herself in a very Boromiresque fashion to save Hawkeye from multiple blaster shots.

Supergirl is flying through Metropolis and sees the Rancor terrorizing some of the citizens of the city. She cuts through the Rancor with her heat vision like a knife through butter. She then uses her freeze breath with the help of Sub-Zero to freeze Jet Jaguar into a popsicle. Hawkeye and Green Arrow then both shoot multiple explosive arrows at Jet Jaguar blowing the giant robot into a million different pieces.

Iron Giant and The Fallen then begin to battle causing extensive damage to the many skyscrapers in Metropolis. Iron Giant puts up a good fight, but eventually The Fallen is just too powerful for him and is eventually ripped in half and thrown into Hobb’s River. Supergirl then comes to try and avenge Iron Giant, but she is slapped by The Fallen causing her to fly through one and a half buildings. This only makes her angry as she flies right through The Fallen’s mechanical torso and then rips The Fallen in half to make sure that she gives exact revenge for the Iron Giant.

Anakin, Ahsoka Tano and White Suit Anakin then go on a tear, killing Red Hood, Arsenal and Mystique with ease using their previous chemistry and light side force abilities. Gold Dragon #1 then comes from behind and burns Ahsoka Tano to a crisp. This then causes Anakin to go into a full offensive rage induced attack on the Gold Dragon, Slicing the head off the dragon in one fell swoop. Darth Traya then comes and shoots an energy blast from her Red Lantern ring killing Anakin as he was too enraged too notice that Darth Traya was approaching him.

The Super Kitties have Supergirl, Darth Traya, Starfire, Blackfire, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-Man, Sub-Zero and Hawkeye left standing. While the Sith AIDS have Darth Vader, Darth Bane, White Suit Anakin and the 501st Stormtrooper Division left alive. Green Arrow, Black Canary, Spider-Man, Sub-Zero and Hawkeye take on the 501st Stormtrooper Division and win but not without losing Sub-Zero, Spider-Man and Hawkeye to blaster deaths. Supergirl, Darth Traya and the sisters from Tamaran take on the force users. All at once Supergirl uses her heat vision, Darth Traya is shooting an energy beam from her Red Lantern Ring and the Tamaran Sisters are shooting ultraviolet beams at the force users but Vader And White suit Anakin put up a force shield long enough for Darth Bane retreat, as the beams were too powerful to shield out before they ultimately die.     

The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You

Week 6 Consortium
The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You

The Striders of Rohan are Cyborg Superman, King Kong, The Incredibles, Gladiator, Jedi Master #1-8, Ghost Rider, Hancock (w/ a Frog Suit), Circuit Breaker, Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Snoke, Arwen Evenstar (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Elrond, Fremen #1-20, & Red Lantern #1.

Better Than All of You is The Knight King & WWA (The White Walkers), Viserion, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Tatsu, Bebop, Rocksteady, Baxter Stockwell, Jack Reacher, Mike Sroka w/ Laura and James Sroka, Detective Spooner, Sonny (I-Robot), Odd Job and Jaws (Bond villains), Slimer, Guns N' Fuckin Roses: W. Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen (in a Penguin Suit), Steven Adler, and Dizzy Reed, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Red She Hulk, Namor's Griffin, The Rockers: Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty, and The Hart Foundation: Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart.

Week 6 Democracy

The Empire Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People

The Empire is Venom, The Incredible Hulk, The Joker, Harley Quinn, War Machine, The Shredder, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael, Casey Jones, Keno, Hamato Yoshi, Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa, Putty #2-8, Super Putty #1-5, Knuckles, The Black Queen, Goliath, & Sardakaur Terror Troop #1-11

The Midgets are Mr. Mxyzplkt, Neo, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1 & 2, Omega Supreme, Larfleeze (Agent Orange), Starscream, He-Man & Battle Cat, Darth Maul, Count Dookie & FA-4, Asajj Ventress, & Smurf #1-3.

Season X Week 5 - Turrible Decisions vs. Super Kitties

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Spectre, Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, and Quinn, The Borg Queen, Borg #1-10, Boba Fett & Odo (In the Slave 1), Yaddle, Mace Windu, Hal Jordan, Alan Scott , Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Batman in the Golden Age Batmobile, Fortress Maximus, Fortress Maximus's Head, and Fortress Maximus's Head's Head, Deadpool, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides "Maud Dib" , Neo-Cymeks #1-2, Krayt Dragons #1-2, Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Black Manta

Super Kitties are: Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hermione Granger, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, The Red Hood, Arsenal and Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, Darth Traya (w/a red lantern ring), Michael Myers, Splinter, The Protectobots (Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid), Prof. Minerva Mognonagle, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in The Mystery Machine, Bubba Duck, Gold Dragon #1


Things are pretty boring for Arsenal and Mr. Spock in their Snow Speeder. They search the frozen tundra of the Playoff Planet for hours and find nothing. Spock looks over to his right at Gold Dragon #1 who is assisting in the search thinking it might be time to call this off and go assist in the city. Suddenly the alarms go off. Missile Lock! Arsenal has no time to swing the guns around before Boba Fett and Odo in the Slave 1 riddle the hull of their ship with bullets and projectiles and turn it into shrapnel. Gold Dragon gives quick chase but Boba has already adjusted his flight path and as the giant beast pauses to breath out his death, Boba sends a volley of shots into the dragon’s open mouth. Odo, from the co-pilot seat, thinks to himself how majestic this creature looks even in death as it spirals and lands on the frozen surface below.

Much, much further away, closer to the equator, Starfire and her sister Blackfire are dragging themselves through the desert with teammates Michael Myers, Splinter and Darth Traya. Michael is complaining about how hot it is under the mask while Splinter and Traya try to talk him into taking it off to show his real face when suddenly a kindjal is driven through the rat’s chest. Duncan Idaho and Paul Atreides are able to easily sneak up on the Super Kitties because of their stealth like, sand walking abilities. Duncan is able to easily block Michael Myers’ knife attack and finish him off. Paul is having a bit of trouble with the Fire sisters, deflecting their laser blasts with his body shield. Assisting the Barkley team is the NeoCymeks and two Krayt Dragons. Blackfire takes a break from attacking paul to dispatch the two cymeks. While Traya is distracted firing her sabers at Krayt Dragon #1 and killing it, Duncan times his attack at Traya sneaking between her flying lightsabers and beheads her. He then picks up two of her sabers and directs his attack at Blackfire. The sabers are too much for her and as he runs both through the torso of Blackfire, Starfire fills with rage and is able to kill Duncan from the side. Paul uses this chance to gain the upper hand on Starfire and slashes her throat. Paul then mounts the Krayt Dragon (Targaryen Style) and flies away.

“Quack Quack” says Bubba Duck shortly before he is in the middle of a huge robot fight in the water. It’s hard for me to tell who is killing who as it’s just metal all around and I don’t know anyone’s names but in the end, Bubba Duck is dead along with all the protectobots for the Super Kitties and Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor and Tentakil for Barkleys. Fortress Maximus emerges from the fight dazed and The Red Hood quickly offs his head (and his head’s head). The Black Manta burns a hole in the chest of Red Hood as a thank you for killing his teammate. Saint Walker floats over to pick up the Blank Manta in a cool green boat he constructed with his GL Ring when the sky suddenly rains bullets down on them. Polaris and Scarlet Witch light them both up and their bodies fall to the bottom of the sea.

Polaris and Scarlet Witch take to the sky and meet up with the battle already happening in space. The Spectre and all the Q’s (Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q and Quinn) have been battling Supergirl and Powergirl. Black Widow is able to kill The Borg Queen (which deactivates Borgs #1-10) before helping with the Spectre/Qs battle. Polaris and Scarlet Witch circle the Q’s in their V-wings and the overwhelming about of girl power on display from the Super Kitties, somewhere Kathleen Kennedy is smiling. The Spectre sees them on the edge of defeat and sacrifices himself and his Q buddies to explode in a tremendous force of energy that kills everyone in space.

“Yoinks a doinks, Scoob. I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this one!” exclaims Shaggy as the Mystery Machine tears down the street in the city section of the playoff planet. With Fred at the wheel, they are locked in a tight game of chicken opposite Batman who is coming head on in the Golden Age Batmobile. The crime solving team shouts encouraging words to Fred, urging him not to slow down or change course. He obliges his friends and they all pay with their lives as the Batmobile tears the hippie van apart like tissue paper. Spiderman shoots a web onto the windshield of the Batmobile and Hermione uses a spell to move a dumpster into the road. Batman hits the dumpster and the car deflects into a nearby building killing Batman on impact because he’s a normal dude and normal people die in car crashes. Hades falls to a Mace Windu lightsaber attack while Hermione, professor Mogonagle, Neville Longbottom and the older Weasley brothers return the favor to the Barkley’s with a flurry of green flashes uttering the incantation that is normally reserved for he who shall not be named. But this is war, and war requires good people to toss out a killing curse every once in a while. Also falling to the killing curse are Yaddle, and fellow green lanterns Hal Jordan and Alan Scott. Paul Atreides is able to come in and torch the five wizards and witches with his Krayt dragon before being knocked off his perch and falling to his death along with the dragon. The fire consumes the crew from Hogwarts and Deadpool shows up to make sure the job is finished with a few quick slashes of his swords.

Spiderman hears Abeloth groan and die at the hands of Deadpool who turns and looks at Spiderman. These final two in the city stare each other down briefly before Spiderman ensnares Deadpool with a web and hangs him from a lamppost.

“Got anything clever and inappropriate to say now?” taunts Peter Parker.

“Sorry you lost…” says Deadpool as Spiderman’s explodes. 

“Took you long enough!” Deadpool says now directing his words at Boba Fett who is perched on the top of a nearby building.

Week 6

-450 points in Metropolis
-Prizes: A Zombie bite, a cape feather, and a Yellow Lantern Ring.
-Retreat Week

Match-ups:
-TEAM Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time
-Two Hungry Dinomites With Bubble Fighting Fun down Tight Vs. Asia's Acrobatic Assassins
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Better Than All of You
-George Washington's House Elves Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
-The Empire Vs. The Misunderstood Hetero-Phobic Tall H8TERZ

Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle it's My First Time

The Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Darkseid, General Zod, Ursa, Non, Ranx the Sentient City, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl (w/ The Sword of Light), Aquaman, Booster Gold, The Flash (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Jay Garrick (w/ a green lantern ring), Kaliback, Desaad, Bub, Bob, Bib, Beb, Teebo, Ewok Warrior, Chief Chirpa (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Logray, Ewok Elder, Wicket (w/ a Racoon Leaf), Ewok Scout (w/ a Frog Suit), Gilleus Thunderhead, Tyrius Flare, Ax-Battler, Capt. America on his Motorcycle, Nightwing on his motorcycle, Evil Dwarf #1, Honored Matre #1, Jar Jar Binks, and all 30 members of the Shining Force.

Be Gentle it's My First Time is The Sinister Six: Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Electro, Mysterio, Vulture, and Sandman, Doomsday, Omni King Zeno, Zues, Hera, Prof. Xavier, Granny Goodness and The Female Furies, King Ghodira, The Cloverfield Monster, Black Atom (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Beerus: god of Destruction, Zilla, Megalon, Carnage, and Steppenwolfe.


Sup guys, Neon Master Pogo here. Joshatu originally was going to watch both matches this week, cuz he was all like: “Hey Pogo, this is the big week; so I really need the matches to be well written and serious. Not just some garbage with a bunch of poop jokes in it”.... But then Ol' Joshatu the Stuffy ran out of time and brought me in anyhow; so......... Get ready for poop-joke filled garbage.

Darkseid is not happy that some of his minions are bold enough to stand against him for the other team. Most of all his soldier Steppenwolfe. Darkseid allows Steppenwolfe to attack, but there isn't even enough time for a poop joke. Darkseid is unaffected by the attacks of Steppenwolfe and kills him with ease.

Ranx the Sentient City is up in the atmosphere flinging cosmic poop, but Omni King Zeno and Beerus counter with super saiyan anime poop causing them all to meld together and explode into a smell that causes them to join each other in death and destroys the nose of every person living on the Playoff Planet.

Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl square off against Granny Goodness and her crew of Female Furies and the fighting gets intense. They are all over-exerting themselves creating a plethora of girl farts, which as you probably know are way worse than boy farts. Wonder Girl uses the Sword of Light to cast Bolt 2 and kill Bernadeth, but most of the furies go down through regular old melee fighting. Granny herself is able to take out Wonder Girl with a special blend of fighting prowess and potent old lady fart-power; but once Wonder Girl falls, the enraged Wonder Woman kills the rest with ease.

In the depths of the ocean, the only place where one can't smell the aftermath of Ranx's rankness, Aquaman is making bubbles of his own. Zilla swims up, but Aquaman takes control of the massive Kaiju and makes him eat fish that are bad for his stomach. Zilla then gets water-fish-dysentary and poops himself to death. Zues gets annoyed with the O.P. nature of Aquaman in the water and borrows some power from his little brother Poseidon. Mixed with his own lightning power, he boils the ocean and kills Aquaman who gets to smell his fart bubbles dry briefly for the first time before he dies.

Black Atom Vs. The ring-wielding Flashes had no poop involved in it at all, so I don't have much to say about it. Black Atom and Flash died. Jay Garrick lived for now.

The Shining Force face off against a three headed evil dragon, like they always do; but this time it is King Ghodira instead of Dark Dragon. King Ghodira is able to blow some serious fire (from his mouths, not his butt) and take out 19 members of the Shining Force, but Max follows the script and sacrifices himself by plunging the Chaos Breaker into the heart of Dark Dragon err, I mean King Ghodira, and then casts his Egress spell to save the rest of his team. They are so happy to be alive that they all poop themselves.

Jar Jar Binks slipped on a piece of poop and died.

The Cloverfield Monster eats Kaliback and Desaad and then naturally poops them out. Bub, Bob, Bib, and Beb collect the magic poop as an item and get special poop bubbles that they shoot at Hera. Hera is so offended by this action that she suicides herself, but takes the poopy dinosaurs to Hades with her. The Cloverfield Monster then attacks the Golden Axe crew and kills Tyrius and Ax-Battler. But before she dies, Tyrius casts her level 6 magic and summons a dragon that melts the Cloverfield Monster into something that smells almost as bad as The breath of the Bubble Bobble dudes.

Megalon stomps the ewoks into goo that looks like hairy little piles of poop (like after a an animal eats another animal and you find the crap in the woods). But it isn't poop, it's just dead ewok.

General Zod, Ursa, and Non know about the problems that Superman has had with Doomsday, so they decide to triple team him. And by triple team him, I mean they hit him with a real “1,2,3 punch”. Ursa pees on him, Zod poops on him, and Non poops and pees on him. Doomsday goes nuts and manages to crush the skulls of both Ursa and Non, but with the diversion they cause, Zod is able to finish him off. Zod flies away as the bodies of Doomsday. Ursa, and Non all lose control of their bowels.

Captain America and Nightwing on their bikes, Booster Gold, Gilleus Thunderhead, The Evil Dwarf, and Honored Matre square off against The Sinister Seven (Carnage included). But the nearby lightning storm from the Zues Wonder Woman battle a little ways away scares Megalon so bad, that he loses his bunghole grip and sprays poo all over the battlefield. Only Gilleus, Nightwing, Cap, Electro, Carnage, and Vulture survive the Hershey Squirt onslaught.

Zeus finishes his fight with Wonder Woman by putting a lightning bolt through her eye and ensures that we have smelled and heard the last girl fart of the match. Darkseid gets revenge for his frenemy Wonder Woman by taking a power dump down Zeus' throat.

Zod blows his powerful breath at the pile of Megalon feces which sends toxic poop icicles into the skull of Carnage.

Jay Garrick then begins running around the massive poop pile so quickly that it creates a poop tornado strong enough to kill Megalon once the particles go up his nostrils and infect his Kaiju brain.

Cap and Nightwing have to clean poop speckles off of their shield and birdarangs so they can throw them straight, but once they do, they manage to hit both Electro and Vulture with killing blows to the temple.

Professor Xavier is so offended by this grotesque and terribly written match that he loses control and mindblocks Dakseid, Zod, and Jay Garrick, although the power of the three overpowers his mutant brain causing it to explode out of his head and making his butt explode wet turds into his wheelchair.

As the match comes to a close Captain America turns to his partner Nightwing and says: “Poop”.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The Striders of Rohan are The Guardians of the Galaxy: Starlord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket, Nebula, Mantis, Yondu, and Kraglin in The Benatar, Apocalypse, Capt. Marvel, John Stewart, Blue Lantern #1-2, Red Lantern #1-2, Wolverine (w/ a red lantern ring), Adam Warlock, Seaworm #1-9, Sandworm #1-2, Ghost Rider, Circuit Breaker, Hancock (in a Frog Suit), The Balrog of Moria, Gandalf the White, Blue Wizard #1 & 2, Samwise Gamgee, Gondor Soldier #1-15, Nazgul #2 w/ his Fell Beast, Jedi Master #1 in Anakin's Starfighter, Admiral William Kelley & Jedi Master #2 in a AT-AT, King Kong, Jedi Master #3 & 4 in an AT-AT, Jedi Master #5 & 6 in an AT-AT, and Jedi Master #7 in a Stealth X-Wing.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Dr. Manhattan, The Father, Son, and Daughter of Mortis, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Brainiac, Vision, Reverse Flash, Franklin Richards, The !2 Guardian Knights, The Witch King of Angmar and his Fell Beast, Poseidon, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Revan, Ras Al' Ghul, Havoc, and White Lantern Zachary Houslander.


Michigan Vs. Ohio State, The Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, USA Vs. The USSR, TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips. A Watcher of my stature knows a great rivalry when he sees one. And although this one just may be just beginning, it definitely has the makings of an epic rivalry built into it. Let us begin:

King Kong, has not been on the Playoff Planet long; but he has already established himself as the dominant force within the eco-system of the forest. His dominance is in question though, once The 12 Guardian Knighs make an appearance and start terrorizng the area. They merge to form Dragonstorm and begin to search the area for the large gorilla rumored to be in these parts. King Kong leaps down in front of the Transformer Gestalt, but Dragonstorm blasts him in the chest with some lasers. Kong is blown back, and badly injured but manages to escape away to a cave he had discovered earlier.

The Witch King of Angmar, through his mental connection to the other Ringwraiths easily tracks down his fellow Nazgul in the jungle. Nazgul #2 draws his sword, but both of them know how the battle will play out. The Witch King is the leader of the Ringwraiths for a reason and easily dispatches Nazgul #2. After the former King of man dies, his Fell Beast lands next to the Witch King and lowers himself in hopes for forgiveness. The Witch King pets the creature, but then runs him through with his sword as he must with his enemies.

Brainiac and Vision have set up a fortress laboratory in the heart of the city, but Apocalypse shows up to disrupt their research. Apocalypse has brought Circuit Breaker with him, but the young woman has no idea what her teammate has in store for her. As the two Striders stride into the Assassin base, they are greeted with arrogant quips from Brainiac. Vision stands ready for an attack from the fierce Apocalypse, but that wasn't necessarily the one he should be worried about. Apocalypse grabs his own teammate Circuit Breaker and rips her in half flinging both parts of her into Vision, frying the circuits of The Avenger. Apocalypse then begins to grow in size in preparation for his battle with Brainiac. Brainiac begins to power up for the battle as well and states: “I can handle any kind of fight big guy, but you should know that brains always beat brawn”. Apocalypse grows even larger and says: “That's what smart guys always say before I beat the Hell out of them”. Brainiac then moves towards the ever growing Apocalypse, but the ancient mutant delivers a fist that crushes Brainiac into the ground. Apocalypse then picks up a table from the laboratory and smashes it over Brainiac before stomping in the head of his opponent with his massive foot.

Deep in the depths of the Playoff Planets Ocean, lies the formidable water crew of the Striders. Nine Seaworms circle the area, while Hancock swims gracefully watching them in his Frog Suit. He mumbles to himself: “I could be flyin around the skies, tearin up the city right now; but I'm floatin down here in my Frog Suit. That's aight tho. I'm just the frog suit guy now. That's who I am”. Poseidon shows up alone, but is a water team all by himself. He begins to do battle with the massive Seaworms, but quickly starts to tame them into his control. Hancock sees his not-so-bright teammates begin to switch sides and is not too happy about it. “OH HELL Naw. Hey (*&^)&)(* What chu doin to my worms pal”?!!? Hancock screams at Poseidon.

Poseidon responds: These worms are in this sea, and everything in this sea now belongs to me”.

Hancock shakes his Frog-eared covered head and says: “How about we do Plan B instead?? I stick you up a Seasworm's butt and then another Seaworm eats that seaworm before the first seaworm poops you out”.

Poseidon is incredulous to the words of his opponent and says: “What a ludicrous statement, especially coming from a silly boy dressed as a frog. I am a god, you cannot possibly do battle with me”.

Hancock, now furious states: “BOY. BOY IN a FROG SUIT!! I'm a MAN IN A FROG SUIT *(^)(&^&(%”.

Hancock then levels Poseidon with a punch that would send a semi-truck airborne. Poseidon recovers and begins swimming back towards Hancock to retaliate, but Hancock is ready for him. Hancock tells him that: “Ya know, way back in the day people thought I was a god too, now here in modern times they just know Ima bada**” Hancock tackles Poseidon who begins pounding on the super-hero as they move back into the circle of seaworms. Hancock realizes that he can't make good on his promise, because the seaworms don't really seem to have butts. But Hancock instead attempts to throw Poseidon into the open mouth of the seaworm. Hancock is successful, but Poseidon refuses to let go, which sends both combatants through the razor sharp teeth of the seaworm. The two high-powered combatants are both swallowed by the seaworm, but such a massive amount of power is contained with them, that the other worms cannot help but be drawn to it. The worms converge around the power source and eat each other until the power is no more.

White Lantern Zack Houslander is flying around the city loving his white lantern ring. He is learning how to do mid-air flips and is looking extra cool in his super tight, bright white shirt complete with the white lantern emblem and his short white shorts to show off his wicked awesome calf muscles. He stumbles upon an old man with a staff, also dressed in white and says: “Sup Bruh, you must be on the other team. We should do battle. My name's Zack. I'm a White Lantern and kind of a big deal; so I'm probably gonna mess you up Homeboy”.

The old man removes his hood and says: “Hmm, my name's Gandalf young man. Gandalf the White. There are many magical rings in this universe. There power should not be taken lightly. But I am beginning to get the impression that you don't have a clue as to how to actually use the power within that white ring”.

“Yeah right Dogg, you see me flying around, don'tcha”?? “I got this White Power thing on lockdown”. He starts to trail off..... “Crap. White Power, that sounds kinda racist when I say it like that. I need to come up with something better than that. I don't need those kind of labels if I'm gonna be a wicked gnarly superhero”.

But, while Zack is contemplating how to describe himself in a politically correct manner, Gandalf raises his staff and sends a white light in the direction of Zack that slices him in half.

Off near a secluded pond, Ras Al Ghul sits pondering how he can become master of this new planet he has been thrust upon, when he hears someone stealthily approaching. He greets his visitor who introduces himself as Wolverine. “Welcome Wolverine, I see you have come alone. That is both brave and noble of you, but forgive me for saying that it is also very foolish. You see, I have been around for many, many years and have had the best challengers. And nobody has ever been able to defeat me in one on one combat”.

Wolverine retorts: “Well Bub, I gotta say that that just ain't the truth. Cuz you see Bub, I've been around a long time too. And you ain't fought me yet”.

Ras, then produces a sword, while Wolverine pops his claws with a “SNIKT” and the fight commences. Ras is able to connect with a few sword swipes to Wolverine's arms, but they quickly begin to heal. Wolvie then manages to break the defenses of the master assassin, slicing off the right hand of Ras with his left claws and stabbing him in the neck with his right claws. Wolverine retracts his claws and continues on to the next battle.

Back in the forest, hidden under a large outcropping of trees is the wounded and frightened King Kong. He is licking his wounds, when he is all of the sudden overcome with a glimmer of hope. The two Blue Lanterns fly towards Kong and speak to him. Kong's dialect may be very primitive, but the blue OA rings translate everything and make the giant ape and the alien lanterns completely understand each other. The Lanterns begin to explain that the team needs Kong as they gently heal his wounds with their powers. Over the horizon, Dragonstorm is wrecking the two AT-ATs driven by Jedi Masters #3-6. The huge Transformer has already punched the Stealth X-Wing out of the sky and blasted Anakin's starship with lasers. Dragonstorm stands triumphant over a mess of Star Wars vehicles. King Kong has been brought back to 100% physically and wants to attack; but is too frightened by the metal monster. Blue Lantern #1, gently pets the back of the large head of Kong to bring back the hope that was lost. He speaks to the Ape and says: “Your healing is almost complete, but the next step must be done by you”. The Blue Lantern points in the direction of Dragonstorm and says: “We have healed your body, now you need to kick his A**”. With that bit of encouragement, King Kong leaps out from behind the trees and delivers a surprise upper-cut to Dragonstorm knocking him on his back. The gestalt gets back up and a massive brawl of massive beings ensues. Dragonstorm hits Kong with some building-leveling blows, but the ape fights through them and delivers a series of punches to the face and chest of Dragonstorm. The Transformer begins to smoke and malfunction, when Kong hits him with a powerful kick to the midsection, which breaks the gestalt apart and extinguishes its spark.

As all these side skirmishes come to a close an enormous battle with the remainder of forces is about to commence in the Desert.

Starlord speaks into the com of his ship: “Hey boss, looks like everything is set for the final attack”.

Admiral Kelley answers: “Alright Quill, let's hope what we have left is enough to take out what they have left”.

The Witch King may have proved himself superior in his battle against his fellow Nazgul; but isn't quite the nastiest thing Middle Earth has to offer. This was proven when The Balrog of Moria used his huge whip to strangle the undead life from the Wraith.

The Doom Patrol takes on the Gondor Soldiers and Samwise. The Middle Earth swordwielders manage to take out their leader The Chief, but can't do much else against the high-powered team and they all fall to their super-powers.

Capt. Marvel flies in fast; but Dr. Manhattan uses his powers of time manipulation to send her back to the 1980s when nobody cared about female super-heroes causing her to become irrelevant and disappear. John Stewart manages to catch the Reverse Flash with a green energy mesh barrier that contains his speed force for a few moments causing him to vibrate into nothingness. Dr. Manhattan sees this impressive display of power and realizes that he must send John Stewart all the back to the 1950s before they cared about black super-heroes.

The Red Lanterns, Blue Lanterns, and Blue Wizards all try and team up against The Mortis Family, but they can't seem to overpower the mastery of Force balance wielded by them.

Havoc hits The Benatar with some solar energy making it spin out of control, but all of its inhabitants eject to safety and begin battling with The Doom Patrol. Beast Boy turns into a T-Rex and eats Kraglin and Mantis, but is then pounded to death by Drax. Robotman cracks the metal skull of Nebula, but is similarly broken to bits by Gamora. Yondu catches Negative Man going back into his body with his whistle wand thingie, but not before Negative Man gets into the body of Drax to disrupt his organs and kill him. Yondu then attempts to do the same to Mento, but Mento uses his powers to send the arrow right back at Yondu through his heart. Starlord gets revenge by blasting Mento repeatedly with both of his blasters. Elasti-girl grows to giant size crushing Gamora, but Rocket and Groot manage to knock her off balance and finish her off.

The two enormous sandworms come lunging out of the ground, and when Dr. Manhattan sees them, he instantly realizes that they cannot be defeated in this territory. He uses his powers to teleport the sandworms to his home on Mars, where they can either die or create a new Dune. Adam Warlock sees this amazing display of power and takes advantage of Manhattan when he is at least slightly weakened from such a feat. Adam uses his cosmic power to revert Manhattan back to human form just for a few seconds, which is long enough for Adam to project an energy blast into him and kill him.

Revan manages to get out of the way of the flaming motorcycle heading towards him, just in time to slice the head off of Ghost Rider. He then manages to Force Leap onto the back of the AT-AT cut his way inside with his purple lightsaber and kill Jedi Master #2 before he even realizes that he was there. Bill picks up his Jedi buddy's lightsaber and ignites it, but is not successful in his attack on Revan. The AT-AT crashes to the ground as Revan leaps back out of it.

Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian are taking on Starlord, Rocket, and Groot with relative ease, when Apocalypse joins the fight proclaiming that he is “the most powerful mutant ever”. Franklin Richards hears this and says: “That's cute” as he mind-blocks Apocalypse killing him instantly. Without the help of Apocalypse, the remainder of the Guardians fall to the might of the Martians.

Franklin is pretty proud of himself after taking out Apocalypse, but hubris gets him as he doesn't see the huge foot of The Balrog crushing him.

Revan rejoins the battle, but is caught off guard by a red energy laced claw from Wolverine, who then moves in quickly and dispatches Miss Martian the same way. An infuriated John Johnz gets revenge by breaking the lantern ring and ripping Wolverine's head clean off.

As the battle comes to a close, the exhausted combatants from each side give one final push. The Son of Mortis delivers a force generated sword through the heart of King Kong, who was in the middle of squeezing the life out of Martian Manhunter.

Gandalf in a last ditch effort consumes the power of The Balrog of Moria that originally helped him gain his new found power as Gandalf the White in order to battle the combined powers of the Mortis family, as they easily dispatch Adam Warlock. Only Gandalf stands for the Striders against the Father, Son, and Daughter, and Havoc, who attempts to take cover behind a huge boulder. Gandalf channels the ancient power of both him and the Balrog and vanquishes the Force user in one massive explosion which kills them, but also powers up Havoc to capacity. Screaming in pain, Havoc must unleash the force he has absorbed and uses it blast the weakened Gandalf to pieces.....