Season Five Week 1: Team Sleeping Pussy vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies

Team Sleeping Pussy is Golden Age Flash (Jay Garrick), Black Lantern Leeloo, and S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent #2 Reginald "Butterscotch" McTwivent w/ Green Lightsaber.

Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are Kevin Flynn, Sam Flynn, Tron, Quorra, Ewok #10 and the Wu-Tang Clan: Ol’ Dirty Bastard w/Red Lantern Ring, RZA w/Pokeball, GZA, Method Man w/Laser Gun, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah w/Starwand, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa w/Laser Sword and Cappadonna.

High above the Arena of the Grid, Kevin Flynn patiently holds Tron, Sam and Quorra back as he watches the ensuing events to unfold. “Dad! We can take this team down without the help of this group of thugs!” yells Sam Flynn.

“Patience, my boy. Patience,” Kevin calmly responds.  “There is no need to rush into things like they did.”

The Wu-Tang Clan all arrive in the Arena of the Grid. Thousands of programs are cheering and chanting for the oncoming battle. The ten members of the Wu-Tang all activate their light disc and prepare for battle.

“Damn son, what it that?!” Raekwon shouts as he point at a streak of red that is coming straight for them.

“Whatever it is, it’s comin’ in hot, yo!” replies Inspectah Deck.

Golden Age Flash races in, with his light disc drawn and zips through the ranks of the Wu-Tang. He quickly dispatches U-God and Cappadonna, exploding them into pixels.  S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent #2, Reginald “Butterscotch” McTwivent leaps into action as well.  He is eager to prove his worth in what could be his final outing.  He fires up his green lightsaber and lunges at Masta Killa. The Wu-Tang member quickly reacts and blocks the attack with his laser sword.  Ghostface Killah rushes over to lend his teammate a hand and dropkicks Butterscotch to the ground.  Ghostface Killah fires a magical bolt from his Star Wand, but Butterscotch blocks it with his lightsaber. He springs back up and tackles Ghostface and drives his lightsaber into his chest as he takes him down to the ground. Butterscotch then fires a look of determination at Masta Killah, which causes the gangsta to take a step back. Even Ewok #10 tries to get in Butterscotch’s way. But regardless of this being his final outing as well, Ewok #10 is swiftly turned into a throw rug by McTwivent.  RZA and GZA then take point and try and double team the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, but he is on a mission that he believes no one man can stop. Butterscotch slices RZA’s arm off before he can launch his Pokeball. He then sweeps GZA feet out from underneath him and takes him out with a clean strike from his lightsaber. The one armed RZA screams in agony as his arm shatters into pixels as it hits the Grid floor.  Golden Age Flash races by and finishes RZA off as Butterscotch plunges his Lightsaber deep into Masta Killa’s face.

“Try doin’ dat to me,” Ol’ Dirty Bastard shouts as he vomits red rage energy towards Butterscotch. He then concentrates all of his rage energy and splits into Dirt McGirt, Ason Unique, Osirus, Big Baby Jesus, Joe Bananas, BZA, Peanut the Kidnapper, Freeloading Rusty, Knifey McStab, Little Billy Clinton and Ol’ Dirty Bastard himself.  The eleven faces of one Russell Tyrone Jones surround Butterscotch as the remaining three Wu-Tang members try to fend off Jay Garrick.  “My name is O.D.B., for we are many.”

“Damn,” Butterscotch says calmly to himself as he realizes his fate. The O.D.B. Legion engulfs him in red rage energy and incinerates him, thus sending last season’s Consolation MVP to the Graveyard.

The eleven forms of O.D.B. spew red energy into the air as they celebrate their defeat over the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent. But this celebration is short lived as Black Lantern Leeloo sneaks up behind Ol’ Dirty Bastard and tears his heart from his chest. The other forms disappear as O.D.B. breaks apart into a cluster of pixels.

Kevin Flynn and his crew continue to patiently observe the ongoing battle from high up. Well not everyone is waiting patiently. Sam Flynn is pacing back and forth like a caged sex panther.

“Dad!! Look out!!” shouts Sam as he leaps off the tower and tackles Black Lantern Leeloo who was trying to steal Kevin’s light disc, something that is more powerful than a mere beating heart. Both of them crash to the floor as Tron and Quorra quickly leap to aid their teammate. Golden Age Flash finishes off Raekwon, Method Man and Inspectah Deck, when he is quickly knocked down by Tron.  Jay promptly gets back to his feet, adjusts his sliver helmet and attacks Tron. The two combatants are swiftly dodging each other’s attack. Tron launches his two light discs at Jay Garrick, but the elder Flash easily dodges them. He races at Tron, but he leaps over the speedster, catches a light disc in his hand and fires it back at Jay Garrick. Jay takes his helmet off and blocks the light disc, but is unable to defend the other one that is still boomeranging back at him. Golden Age Flash shatters into a million pixels as Quorra and Sam try and take out Black Lantern Leeloo. The zombified form of the Divine Being is still too quick and skilled for the likes of Sam and Quorra. She flies at Sam, ready to rip his heart out, but Quorra dives in front of him and sacrifices herself to save Sam.  Black Lantern Leeloo rips Quorra’s heart out and smashes it into several pixels. Sam screams in anger and jams his light disc into Black Lantern Leeloo’s chest. But she yanks it out, tosses it to the ground and continues to come after him.

Enter Kevin Flynn.

He drops down from what seems be the heavens and turns all of the lights off in the Grid, just by placing his hand upon the ground. He calmly stands up directly in front of Black Lantern Leeloo as she savagely flies at him. He merely puts his fist up in the air towards her, and snaps his hand open. Pure, blinding light radiates out as Black Lantern Leeloo is thoroughly deleted from the face of the Grid, thus ending this conflict.