Season 9 Week 4: Super Kitties and Cats Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Super Kitties and Cats are: Bugs Bunny in Jedi V-Wing
Lockdown w/ his ship
Zoom
Supergirl
Powergirl
Damien Darhk
Mr. Freeze
Larfleeze
Ant Man (Hank Pym)
Starfire
Venom
Thunder
Lightning
Nightcrawler
Green Lantern Penguin
Metaknight
Thor
Bugs Bunny dressed as a girl
Zombie Mike Sroka
Dark Side Adept #14
Jedi Master #50a
Super Battle Droid #1 & 2
Vision
Hot Spot

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are:
Spectre
Cyborg Superman
The Butcher + RL Jeff Houslander
Ion + Kingdom Come Jade
Bizzaro Supergirl
Captain Atom
Indigo-1 and Munk
Saint Walker
Goku
Gohan and Goten
SSJ4 Gojeta
Helios
Super Cyborg Charles Barkley
Super Cyborg Michael Jordan
Space Ghost
Jan (w/ Asohka Tano's Green Lightsaber)
Jace (w/ Blue Lightsaber)
Blip - 38
Montross - 28

Greetings, friends! This is FFL Story Critic NFG Mike here to review one of this week's matches. Now, before we begin, I must warn you that this particular tale bears a striking resemblance to a certain movie. Some of that plot may be spoiled, so if you don't care, read on! If you do care, go see said movie and I'll wait here for you. Go ahead, I have nothing better to do.
...............
Alright! You're back! (Or never left). So let's get into Turrible Decisions v. Super Kitties: Yawn of Justice.
This story has the Kitties cruising around the Andromeda Galaxy in Lockdown's ship, generally minding their own business. Unfortunately for them, some of the beings in said galaxy do not believe that a ship that big and powerful could be used for anything but evil. The powers that be decide to coerce The Turrible Decisions to do something about it. Although nonsensical, this plot line should be fairly straight forward, but, as always with Watcher NuFaGtu, it's never that easy.

For starters, there are WAY too many characters to shove into something so relatively simple, but they all have to be included so their solo plotlines may be explored in a future match. At one point, we are more or less reduced to watching Youtube videos containing each combatant just to fit them in. This is embarassingly lazy and shortsighted, and most of these characters deserve better than that. The true travesty, however, is that time is wasted on a role call, when we could have delved into something that is actually entertaining. The Vision vs. Cyborg Superman battle to see who controls Lockdown's ship's CPU, for instance, was merely glossed over, when it should have been a focal point of the match. Instead, this is overshadowed to name drop such luminaries as Dark Side Adept #14, Jedi Master #50a, and the always bumbling Jan, Jace, and Blip. What a waste.

Second, Super Cyborg Charles Barkley's dream sequences are confusing at best. They bring the match to a sudden halt, and never really explain anything, let alone make sense. The jarring transitions from dream to reality are never explained, and it is hard to tell whether they are in the past or future. Did Super Cyborg Barkley already fight Thunder and Lightning, or did he just get killed by Powergirl? There is absolutely no reason for these to exist, and they are all sloppy and rushed.

There is a lone bright spot in this fiasco, however, and it is the beautifully done battle sequence between Thor and Goku. The action was crisp, well defined, and you always knew exactly what was happening at any given time. The satisfying battle raged throughout Lockdown's ship, and there were many great moments for fans of both characters. We had Thor's warrior madness versus Goku's Kaioken technique, the sheer brutality of Norse combat against a honed martial artist, and the banter between the two was top notch. Thor's deflection of a Kamehameha blast was nothing short of astonishing, but Goku grabbing Thor's hammer out of mid air was jaw-dropping! I'm honestly not sure which moment I liked better. And kudos to the writer for recognizing Goku's worthiness, as this is usually glossed over in other matches to make yet another Dragon Ball Z joke.

Unfortunately, due to the horrible script, this awesome fight is cut short in the most ham-fisted way possible, due to the appearance of a thus far unannounced and completely unwelcomed Spectre. He wasn't mentioned once in the whole story, yet now I'm supposed to believe that he's really the focal point of the whole thing? Moreover, I'm also expected to buy the fact that this guy is bad enough to unite Thor and Goku against him? I'm also not sure why Bizarro Supergirl was crammed in the end to help them against the Spectre. Just because she has 9 deaths I'm supposed to see her as an A-lister now? Please. I guess that's kind of a nitpick, because none of this even mattered at the end of the day. The Spectre was not stopped from slaughtering every member of both teams because they had all sinned at some point. Are you serious? If that's the case, then what was the point of any of this? Why not just do that from the begining and save us all some time and anguish?

What could have been a truly entertaining match was hampered by a rushed script, too many characters, and a penultimate twist that was disappointing to say the least. I'm giving the lion's share of the blame to the so called Watcher NuFaGtu, whose inability to see quality matches has again left us wanting so much more. The sad part is that this could have been one of the all time greats if handled by a more capable Watcher. Instead, we are subjected to the utter rubbish that we have come to expect from one of the League's worst. What a shame.

Official review: 2/10 stars
Hopefully, my next review will be something worth reading instead of the drivel that I barely got through this week.

As always, keep Watching! - FFL Story Critic NFG Mike.

Darth Shemalyah Defaces Washington Monument

All are slaves. 

All will bow to her will. 

All will be destroyed. 

S9W3: Murderflies vs. Nut-Busters

The Murderflies are: Amatsu Mikaboshi: The Chaos King, Odin, The Vampire Lestat, Jack Reacher on a crotch rocket, Dark Claw, Aang, Appa, Katara, Toph Bei Fong, Zuko, Raiju,Scunner, Slattern, Onibaba, Draco Malfoy, Bukakke Becks, Older Man Parks, Oldest Man Parks, Old Man Becks, Marines #41-70, Mars Attacks Martians #1-10, and Clone Troopers #41-50

The Nut-Busters are: Green dragon #4-18, black dragon #3-14, White dragon #1-12, Brass dragon #1-6, Copper dragon #7 and 8, krayt dragon #1 and 2, zombie #2, Teneb Kel, Maggot, Exal Kressh, Dexter Jettster, HK-47, r-4 unit 2, r-4 unit 3, jedi master #2a, jedi master #1a, jedi knight 34b, 35b, and 36b, dark side marauders #1-12 Night Brothers #3, 9, and 10, Storm trooper # 3-5, and Ewok child # 1

On the ice planet Hoth, the Nut-Busters gathered around fired provided by Aang and Zuko. “They’ll be here any time now. We should have a plan in mind.” Bukakke Becks stood proudly and said “I’ve got one! Everybody huddle in a circle so we can share this great idea!” Toph retched slightly. “Not after last time, Bukkake Becks, yoi can’t pull the wool over my eyes twice. Chaos King grinned ghoulishly.

“We won't need a plan,

Chaos will carry us through.

Discord approaches.”

Suddenly, the ground began to shake with increasing intensity. Dark Claw slowly turned around to see a wall of white barrelling toward him with the sound of a thousand freight trains.Oldest Man Parks was frozen in horror and could barely make out what Dark Claw said.

“RUUUUNNNN!”

As Oldest Man Parks was swept under, the team bolted off with the speed of a thousand freight trains. Jack Reacher hopped on his crotch rocket, only to find that a crotch rocket is a terrible way to get around on a frozen planet. He lost control almost immediately and vanished into the rolling white cloud. As the mass began to catch up, it split in two and began to flank the escaping Murderflies. At this distance the source of the blizzard was revealed; A massive swarm of dragons beat their wings, kicking up thick plumes of ice and snow. From the split where their flight separated, the land-borne Nut-Busters made first contact. “Taunt: Get lost in the snow, Murderflies?” said HK-47. A droid without honor, he fired off a blaster shot that exploded all over Bukkake Becks’ face. The Clone Troopers fired a retaliatory barrage that clipped down Zombie #2 and Dexter Jettster. “Warning: Don't get cocky,” said HK-47, “You're surrounded by 47 dragons, and we’ve got two more to take care of you right here.” HK-47, Teneb Kel, Exal Kressh, and Maggot faded back into the snowy haze while the Nut-Busters’ mighty wall of Commons closed in on their enemy. Breath weapons of all kinds rained down over the group, deflected primarily by the Benders of Avatar. Krayt dragons stomped through the crowd, trampling lesser combatants underfoot and even managing to swallow up the resilient Old Man Becks. Old Man Parks, meanwhile, was demonstrating that he was a scrappy young lad back in his day by beating the crap out of a defenseless Ewok child. Odin was single-handedly picking off crowds of Jedi and Sith as Chaos King transformed to immense size, erupting into a writing form of spined tentacles, and shouted out:

“Hide behind commons?

Dragons are mere distractions.

KILL THEM, MY KAIJU.”

His oily black tendrils slammed the frozen ground, and sigils of summoning burned red hot in the snow. A portal opened, releasing Scunner Slattern, Raiju, and Onibaba. Chaos kind resumed skewering dragons mid-flight with his spiked appendages as his summoned allies began to chew into the masses of dragons. Krayt Dragon #1 ate Appa and stomped Toph before she could see it coming, but fell to the combined efforts of Dark Claw and Katara. #2 had gone a bit more wild, stomping all over Lestat and more than a few remaining clome troopers, plus cracking Onibaba open before Raiju was able to take it down. Joining back in on the battle against the weakening Murderflies, Teneb Kel and Maggot made a sneak attack and cleared out Aang’s companions. In response the Avatar froze Maggot solid before shattering him with stone. His bald head popped like a grape as a sniper shot from HK-47 flew to his skull from afar. Exal Kressh was dismbering Scunner with surgical precision as Chaos King and Slattern both struggled to swat her off, while Teneb Kel opted for telekinesis to help Dark Claw dismember himself. Odin, however, was quick to take this opening and plant Gungnir into Kel’s ribs as Chaos King finally managed to flatten Kressh. A heartbeat’s worth of silence passed before Odin’s attention perked up. With a reflexive sidestep, another blaster shot whizzed by his face, revealing HK’s location. Chaos King teleported to the droid and stared down at him. HK, startled, shouted “Exclamation: Impossible! You were outnumbered, outclassed!”

Chaos King raised a heavy tentacle.

“What’s impossible?

Oh, HK-47

Statement: You have failed.”

Wednesdays Are For Jerks!

H'yall:

Just wanted 'ta say that I just don't like this Wednesday stuff none.  Tuesdays should be the day rosters are put in.  Wednesdays just don't give the Watchers the time they need to do a really good match.  I think about the time my Papaw and Mamaw brought me to Star Wars Celebration VII.  All I did was ask Clive Revel to sign in a particular sharpie in a particular place and gave him twenty two things to sign.  That Revel gave me attitude.  He told me he knew how to sign his name.  He is a JERK!  And speakin' of jerks, I don't like these people who push this Wednesday turn in thing because of a holiday we all don't celebrate.  Heck, on Easter I asked my good buddy Bryan to get me a few things signed.  I said I would pay him back after he got the thirteen autographs for me.  Just sayin'.

-Bama

The Empire Vs. Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos

The Empire is: Colossus, Lara Croft (w/ a purple lightsaber), Sabertooth, , Black Zero, Steel Superman, Lady Deadpool, Kidpool, Headpool, Dogpool, Kid Deadpool (w/ a Sith Lavarouk), Kaja Sinis, Black Lantern Abin Sur, Vladimir Putin (w/ yellow lantern ring), Hannibal King, Kim Jong Un, Mewtoo (w/ a red lightsaber), Superman Becks, Gorax, The Revanchist (w/ a blue lightsaber), Kyle Rayner, Daredevil (w/ a mithril vest and a green lightsaber), Jedi Master #40, Nightbrother #7-8, Acklay #3, Force Adept #6, Krayt Dragon #4, Neo Cymek #19, Brass Dragon #10, Copper Dragon #1-6, Rohirim #2-6, Dementor #6 & 9, Terminator #38, Decepticon Decoy #1-5, Watchdog #2, 5-10.

The Commandos are: Iorek Byrninson, Lyra Belacqua w/ Pantalamion, Will Perry w/ Kirjava, Olivia Moore, Clairy Fraye, Dora, Boots, Backpack, The Map, The Mikaelson Family, Hannah Montana, Ewok Child #9, Human Bomb, Dark Phoenix, Zombie Nichol Valdez, Thanos, Sin Eater, Foolkiller, Equnox, Grimlock Rex Prime, Gungan #49-50, The 2002 Detroit Red Wings, Boil Over Becks, Doozer #9, Queen Xenomorph #9-10, Wookie Soldier #26-30, Atreides Soldier #19-20, Minotaur #6-10, Dilaphosaur #26-30, Allosaurus #26-30, Samurai #36-40.

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY....

It is a dark time for The Commandos. Although Putin was defeated, The Premier's Imperial Troops have driven The Commandos forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the Galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Dora the Explorer has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.

The evil Lord Putin, obsessed with finding young Dora, has dispatched thousands of remote probe droids into the far reaches of space..........


ON THE SURFACE OF HOTH


“Echo three to Echo seven, Lidstrom old buddy, you read me”??

“Loud and clear Chelios. I see no signs of anything. I was about to head back to base”

“There was a meteor that hit ground back here, I was going to go check it out”.

“Chris, there isn't enough life on this planet to fill Joe Louis Arena”.

“Ha, I hear ya Nick. I'll be back to base soon”.


ON THE OFFWORLD BASE OF THE EMPIRE

“Premier Putin, what an honor to be in your presence, sir”

“Dispense with the pleasantries Private Superman Becks. Now tell me, what are your findings”??

“Very little to report I'm afraid sir. One of our probe droids was hit by a hockey stick down on Hoth; but I am sure it is nothing”.

“THAT IS THEM Superman Becks, NOW ready the fleet”.

“But Premier Putin. It could be anything. It could be Canadians, or Swedes, or even friends of Ninja Turtles”??

“You are wrong private. It is them, and Dora is with them. GENERAL KIM JONG”!!

“Yes Premier”.

“Ready your troops. And make way for the Hoth system”.

THE COMMANDO HOTH OUTPOST

“Echo three, this is Echo Base.... Repeat..... Echo three, this is Commander Hannah Montana, from Echo Base. Do you read me. Lt. Chelios, DO YOU READ ME”??

“I read ya now Echo Base. All I did was hit that probe droid with my hockey stick and it blew up. It must have been some sissie droid from Colorado”.

“Well, Grimlock and Martian Manhunter are interpretting the signal as an Imperial one. You better get back to base”.

THE COMLINK IS INTERUPTED

“Echo Base, this is General Bowman. We should begin full evacuation”.
“I agree, General Bowman. It's a good bet The Empire knows we're here. Montana out”.


THE EMPIRE LANDS JUST OUTSIDE ECHO BASE.

“KYLE RAYNER, The Commandos already seem to be evacuating”.

“Well, yes Premier Putin, they are”.

“Superman Becks came out of lightspeed too close to the settlement”.

“Well, Premier, he thought surprise was......... (trailing off).....

“Superman Becks is as clumsy as he is stupid” says Putin. “BRING HIM TO ME”.

SUPERMAN BECKS IS SEEN BEING DRAGGED OUT OF THE ROOM BY KIDPOOL AND KID DEADPOOL.

“Apology accepted Superman Becks” says Putin.

ON THE GROUND, HALF A MILE FROM ECHO BASE.

“Colonel Saybatooth, this es General Kim Jong. Remember that I row your thoughts. I row what your” heart intends, I row whether you right raliantly. For I am your Supreme Leader. Now take all expendable troops and bring them to battle first. Attack Recho Rase for the grory of the combined Empire Of Russia and Unified Korea”.

ECHO BASE.

“Capt. Lidstrom, this is General Bowman. Get what troops you can together and prepare for a ground assault”.

“Three lines against an army, Capt. Lidstrom?? That's impossible”. Says Sgt. Draper, speaking for the whole team.

The brave Capt. Lidstrom replies: “Grimlock Prime and Thanos will fire several shots to back us up. , We need to make sure that all of the television and young adult book stars that are bogging down are team can get to safety. We have a job to do Red Wings, now let's get to it”.

“Look it's THE EMPIRE”!! Shouts Capt. Obvious, I mean Corporal Robataille.

THE BATTLE BEGINS...

General Jong Un remains at the rear while Sabertooth leads the ragtag group of battle-hardened Imperials towards Echo Base.

Sabertooth, the Deadpool Corps, Hannibal King, who looks like he should be in the Deadpool Corps; but is not, the Dementors, terminators Decepticon decoys, and several others (but not the warm blooded Krayt Dragon, who of course died the second it got off the ship on Hoth) mow through the once strong Red Wing defense, their extra gungans Queen Xenomorphs, Wookies, soldiers, dinosaurs, samurai, and several other key players such as Doozer #9, his boyfriend Boil Over Becks, Foolkiller, Equinox, Sin Eater, Boil Over Becks ex-boyfriend: Ewok Child #9, and the two zombies Nichol and Olivia Moore, who are having a totally normal CW-like love affair even though they have both always been straight before today.

As The Empire enters the base, The Commandos scramble to attempt to get to safety; but they do valiantly fight back. The Empire also finds that the defenses of the base are significantly more advanced than they realized and casualties are high on their side as well. In fact, the entire advance squad, that General Jong Un sent in has been killed, making the elite rear guard of The Imperial forces join the ground assault.

Dora and Boots come rushing down into the control room, when.......
“IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED THE BASE. IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED THE BASE” Starts booming through the loudspeakers of the control station.

“Commander Montana, we need to get you to your ship”. Yells Dora.

Hannah retorts: “I'll be fine Dora, you got your clearance to leave”.

“We'll leave, but you're the namesake of this team, and first I'm going to get you out of here”

“I'll be fine. Besides, Obama's term is almost up. And then your as good as gone anyway”. Just get out of here”. Says Montana.

“This is about the way you feel about me isn't Miley”?? Says Dora.

Hannah gets sheepish and says: “Well, I mean yes. Of course. You're a natural leader. We need you”

“We need, more like you need”.....

Hannah moves towards Dora, when they are interrupted by the comlink and forced back into a mode of all business.....

“Commander Montana, Commander Montana, anybody, ANYBODY. If anybody can hear this.... This is Katy Grimlock-Perry. I'm on the back of my husband and things are getting really bad. The battle is lost, repeat the battle is lost”.

“Hold tight Katy, we're coming with reinforcements”. Yells Dora.

Katy comes back over the crackling and failing communicator: “NO, DON”T. The battle is lost. You can't help us. We took out Steel Superman and Colossus,Daredevil, Black Zero, Kaja Sinis, Kyle Rayner, even General Jong Un himself; but we lost Thanos, Manhunter, Human Bomb, and we just lost Dark Phoenix!! She went nuts and it blew the reactor core when she did!! The whole Mikaelson family and Clairy are trapped inside. WE'RE DONE, GAME OVER GIRLS.... GET OUT OF HERE IF YOU STILL CAAAAHHH......

THE COMLINK GOES DEAD.......

“Boots, this is Dora. Ready the ship for takeoff. Hannah and I are coming to you”.

“Dora, don't come..... its.... a...... trap...... ship... is... down..... I've been shot.... Backpack, Map.... all gone. Dora........ It.... was... Putin..........”............

“BOOTS”!!!! Screams Dora.

THE COMLINK GOES DEAD AGAIN....

Miley is shaking when she says: “Dora, don't let them take us. I know too much. If I crack under torture, Putin will know all our secrets. I can't let them take me no matter what”.

Dora and Miley run as fast as they can away from the base when they find themselves by a iced over cliff outside the base. With no place to go, Putin, aided by his yellow ring flies in.

“Dora, we need to talk. I know that when we worked together before that your loyalty to Obama has waivered. I know it wasn't all a sham”

Miley looks at Dora, like it can't possibly be true, while Putin continues.

“Join me Dora. You can be my right hand. We could rule the league. I won't hurt Hannah Montana. We just need her information. And we need you. The battle is won for our side. There is nothing you can do. I'm sorry about Boots. My men were just defending themselves. But we don't need further loss of life. Now, Dora........ Come with me.... It is the only way”.......

Putin puts out his hand to help Dora and Hannah down from the cliff, certain that she will come. Even Hannah understands that surrender is the only logical way out. Hannah takes a step in Putin's direction, when Dora grabs her hand.

Hannah turns to Dora and says: “I love you”.....

But Dora pulls out her pistol and says: “I know”.

Putin puts up a yellow aura to protect himself from potential bullets, when Dora points the gun at Hannah's head, pulls the trigger, and then defiantly looks over at Putin as she throws herself off the cliff.

The Royal Highness Vs. Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are: Zoom, Vandal Savage, (Kingdom Come) Red Robin, Damien Darhk, (Kingdom Come) Green Lantern, Deathstroke, Robin (Damien Wayne), Vision, Thor, Green Goblin (Norman Osborne), Green Goblin (Harry Osborne), Patrick Starr, Toto, Stass Allie, Nightcrawler, Abomination, Venom, Jedi Knight #1B (Gary), Strom Trooper #49, Aerial Clone Trooper Captain, Aerial Clone Trooper #1-6, Ewok #52-57, Jedi Master #50A, Nexu #3, Super Battle Droid #1-2, Pony #3, Griffin #23, Treasure Troll #17, Ice Bros. #8-10, Magwai #2, Smurf #7, Little Goomba #64, N.S.-5 #35, a black dragon, a purple dragon, a bronze dragon, a sliver dragon, a copper dragon, Decepticon #3 & 6, and Uruk Hai #1-8.

The Royal Highness is: Emperor Palpatine, Kylo Ren, Jadis the White Witch, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Bristleback, Icepick, Scowl, Slag, and Wildfly, Obliterator, Silver Racer (w/ a green lantern ring), Suprema (w/ a blue lantern ring), Ursa, Broly, Metron, Old Man Logan, Avalanche, Sonny, Agent Smith, Hugh Glass, an Imperial Shuttle, Uruk Hai #57, Jessica Rabbit, White Dragon #9, Sith Lord #8, Ancient Sith Lord #2-3, 7-8, Wookie Soldier #2-4, 8-25, Queen Xenomorph #1-3, 7-8, Signalmen #1-4, Looney Tunes Gremlins #1-4, Upgraded Matrix Agent #1-5, and Minotaur #1-5.



The planet once known as Hoth, a desolate frozen place that at one point did not hold enough lifeforms to fill a space cruiser is not the same as it once was. Not since The Royal Highness took it over with their armies, colonized it, and renamed it Cannabis Prime. Now it is overtaken by a strange system of Feudalism. Its regional chieftans, though by no means driven by intentions of good, have done well to establish a semi-peaceful balance of power over the once intelligently uninhabited ball of ice. But once the super kitties became aware of this enemy outpost, they began formulating a plan of attack for the complete takeover and overhaul of the system.

The true Emperor of this place is Palpatine, who along with his Sith Lords reside in the long parked, and questionably functional Imperial shuttle turned palace in the center of the roughly inhabited Hoth. Jadis the White Witch, along with the lone Uruk Hai, and her pets the Pretender Monsters and the Queen Xenomorphs reside in a cave nearby, while other commons and loners have formed small groups that occupy barely livable areas near the Palace Shuttle.

The Super Kitties, the sworn enemy of The Highness, has no choice but to fight their way into these areas or die in the harsh wasteland. Palpatine, who once lived amongst and fought alongside the Super Kitties is anxious to destroy this team once and for all; but he bides his time, in hopes that his lesser Vassals can do his dirty work for him. His lesser followers and users of the Dark Side, do not quite have his mastery of patience.

“At last we will reveal ourselves to the Super Kitties; at last we will have our revenge”, says an ever-emo looking Kylo Ren to his grandfather's old master Sidious,

Due to the landscape and increased number of targets, the Super Kitties are unable to mount a full scale ground assault against their enemies; but small strike forces begin mounting assaults all over the occupied areas of the planet.

Vandal Savage leads, Damien Darhk, Deathstroke, both the Green Goblins, Zoom, the Uruk Hai, and a group of empathically controlled dragons into the cave of Jadis, despite it being a highly defensible position. The casualties for the dragons and the Uruk Hai are high, as the extra large Xenomorphs seem to come out of the very walls of the cave to attack them. The battling is fierce and Norman and Harry are able to destroy the last two Alien queens, after the rest of both sides monsters destroy each other. Elsewhere in the cave, Savage, Deathstroke and Darhk are able to use brains over brawn to defeat the Pretender Monsters, who they lure into a area too small for them to form Monstructor, and barely large enough for them to move at all. The three of them, coordinate their attacks and are able to one by one destroy all six members of the Decepticon group. The two green goblins, have learned to fight quite well alongside each other; but their pumpkin bombs come up short against the White Witch, who uses her frost magic to bombard the two millionaires right off of their gliders. Her next opponent, is one whom she may match on the power scale, but whom she never even sees coming. Zoom, simply rushes in to her back area of the cave, and runs around her with such velocity and creating such friction, that The White Witch actually catches fire and burns to death at the proverbial stake. The DC Villains set up shop in the cave and begin to formulate their next plan of attack.

Abomination, meets up with Broly and the two of them manage to heat up a good half mile of frigid landscape with their knock-down-drag-out brawl. The constant hot air being poured out of Broly helps as well. Their is a whole lot of talk about how he is the most powerful fighter in the universe, and unbeatable, and super sayan this and super sayan that; but at the end of the day, Abomination's base strength level is higher than that of the Hulk and that is what he uses to grind Broly into the ground and then crush him into nothingness. Metron makes short work of Jedi Master #50A, as well as the ever evasive Nightcrawler; but their teammate Alan Scott is able to use his built up reserve power to overtake Metron, with a huge magic-infused bit of green will power to knock him from the Mobius Chair and destroy him.

Thor, Vision, Venom, the two Robins, and their guide: Penguin Suit Mario form an incarnation of The Avengers whose comic I would absolutely love to read. They form the crux of the attack, while they coordinate the airstrike Gary, the former padawan of Kit Fisto, who is smoking death sticks, while riding with Toto and Patrick Star in the cockpit of Decepticon #3 (if you remember Gary as a padawan from the early seasons of Fantasy Fantasy, than you are truly a lifelong devotee to this league; shout out to Nick for creating him). The Aerial Clone Trooper Captain rides inside Decepticon #6 realying the orders to the Aerial Clone Troopers zipping in behind them with their jetpacks. The non-Sith powerhouses of the Highness, hold up in an old smuggler base is their target. Despite their fighting prowess, the two Robins rather quickly fall to the Upgraded Matrix Agents, while their boss Agent Smith fights fellow computer program Mario, first making him lose his suit, then making him get smaller, and then finally ending him. Suprema and Ursa take to the air to combat the two Decepticon ships, while Obliterator has little difficulty obliterating the aerial clone troopers, before catching an Asgardian hammer with his face. Gary leaps out of the cockpit of his Decepticon carrier, with his lightsaber ignited; but is no match for Ursa who smacks him to the ground hard before she uses her heat vision to melt Decepticon #3 almost entirely before it hits the ground. The blue-aura glowing Suprema blasts through Decepticon #6, to destroy its spark as well as the clone inside it, as the Kryptonian and the fake Kryptonian join with each other in order to double-back and aid The Silver Racer and the Agents in their battle against the Marvel dudes. As the battle heats up, both sides call in reinforcements; but the back up for both crews meet up with each other on a sloped landscape below, before they can actually rendezvous with the squads that called them in. Attrition is high, as The Wookie Soldiers numbers are decreased by two thirds, while the Looney Tunes Gremlins, the white dragon, and the Minotaurs all die in the skirmish; but not before The Ice Bros. become deiced, Griffin #23 becomes declawed, Treasure Troll #17 gets decuted, N.S-5 #35 becomes deactivated, and Goomba #6 gets decompressed. The pony riding Magwai and Smurf yell something unintelligible as they mount a last ditch charge against the wookies but that too is in vain. The Signalmen are not present, because as it turns out they have already mounted a failed attempt to take back the cave of the White Witch from Savage and his cohorts where they lost their lives. What is left of the wookies begin to regroup when they hear a deafening horn call to action. The ewoks pop up from the snowbanks above the valley; and along with the two super battle droids mow down the rest of the wookies with a combination of arrows and laser blasts.

Back in the battle-proper, the death toll continues to rise. Jedi Master Stass Allie matches Sonny the robot's jumping skill and cuts him in half at the torso with her lightsaber, while Avalanche shoots a healthy dose of seismic blast at Venom. Venom dodges the attack, which causes a literal avalanche behind the symbiote-suited villain turned sometime hero. Venom then knocks Avalanche to ground, wrapping his tongue around the neck of the mutant before crushing his skull barehanded. Venom is then met with a cosmic blast from the Silver Racer that blasts him and the symbiote apart at a molecular level. The Amalgam character then gets his head knocked off as he is caught by a uppercut from Thor's hammer with Thor still attached (ouch). Agent Smith matches the jedi moves of Stass with ease, before he knocks the lightsaber from her hands and puts a .50 caliber bullet between her eyes. Smith and his Agents then leap into battle with Thor and Vision but are taken off guard. Vision is able to disrupt their digital mainframe, while Thor brings down a blast of lightning from the heavens that transcends the very simulation that gives the Agents life. It wipes them from existence completely; but Thor would have no way of knowing that with this move, the same fate would befall his friend Vision. Suprema and Ursa do a clean-sweep-flyby to take out the super battle droids, Storm Trooper #49, the ewoks, and their pet Nexu, accidentally killing their teammate Jessica Rabbit, whom the ewoks had taken as a queen as well. All that is left in the open battle is Thor and Abomination, who square off in a pitched battle (my first Becks shout out of the season) with Ursa and Suprema. This powerhouse brawl involves punches that could knock down a sky-scraper like an errant finger knocks down a house of cards. At first all four are fighting together; but eventually Thor breaks off with Ursa and Abomination with Suprema. Abomination and Suprema level each other with a double punch that causes them to join each other in death in classic Superman/Doomsday fashion, while Ursa is able to overtake Thor, who is simply not able to muster enough Asgardian energy after so much was expelled to take out Agent Smith and the Agents. It is a mixture of brute strength and heat vision that puts Ursa into a state of complete exhaustion and Thor to his grave.

Six days pass after this long battle, before Savage and his allies come to realize that the Sith Lords, who, like them were more than willing to let their teammates die to gain what seemed to be for both sides an upper hand in the overall battle have come to realize that they mysterious dark side users will ot come to their cave. Instead Savage will have to attack the Imperial Shuttle Palace head on. And attack it they do.....

Swiftly and stealthily, Savage, Darhk, Deathstroke, and Zoom sneak in through the hatch of a jettisoned escape pod and move towards the cockpit turned throne room. Kylo Ren and the Sith Lord square off against Deathstroke, while the four Ancient Sith Lords split off into groups of two to take on Savage and Darhk. Zoom is preparing to quickly make his move on Palpatine, but the dark lord can already sense his presence. Deathstroke moves against the unnamed Sith first and slices off his head before allowing his blade to find the chest of Kylo Ren who was crying about something or other. But Deathstroke is then swarmed by the two remaining Ancient Sith, one left, who dispatched Darhk and the one who escaped Vandal Savage. Deathstroke takes out another one with an emptied magazine into his fast moving body; but is then hit with a deadly amount of Sith lightning. Vandal Savage stabs the remaining ancient Sith in the back and then coordinates with Zoom to move in on Palpatine...

Unfortunately for them they never received advice from Yoda.

And even though they would not have thought they were, they certainly underestimated the power of the Emperor. Palpatine, freezes Zoom in place with the force and unleashes a barrage of Sith Lightning that sends Zooms lifeless corpse back into the speed force. Savage then makes his move; but Palpatine spins backwards, igniting his crimson lightsaber and then leaping back towards his enemy and plunging it in to the chest of Vandal Savage.......

As Palpatine sits in his throne, plotting and meditating as to where to find his next apprentice and Ursa recovers in the cold from her injuries, there is a conversation taking place in a long jettisonedescape pod, by two men huddled close inside it for safety. Hugh Glass passes a canteen to Logan and says: “Well, shall we join this fight”?? Logan takes a long swig of the whiskey, passes it back to Hugh and says..... “Ehh, maybe the next one”.

Season 9: Week 3: Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets -vs- Beckerman’s Backyardigan Beeyaatches

Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Ariella Kent, Luminara Unduli w/White Lantern Ring, Magneto w/Bell X-2, (Original) Duncan Idaho w/Orange Lightsaber, Allia Atreides/St. Allia of the Knife (w/Ventress 2 Red Lightsabers), He-Man, Murbella, The Tardis with Thurfir Hawat, Princess Irulan & Hiih Resser inside, Soundwave w/Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Enemy, Wingthing, Flip sides, Sundor, Garboid, Howlback, Glit, Decepticon Cassette #1-3, Ravage Clone #1-3, Decibel, Legout, Nightstalker, Playback, Rosanna, Stripes, Autoscout #1 & 2, Autobot Cassette #1-3 and Decepticon #7, Castor & Pollex (both w/Blue Lightsaber pikes), Bizarro Mr. Mxytplk (w/Indigo Lantern Ring), Impossible Man, Mighty Mousette (w/Star Sapphire Lantern Ring), Troll #1, Griffin #11, Dragon #1, Pony #1 & 2, Samurai #20, Ice Bros. #2-6, Jedi Guardian #4, Jedi Master #33A-35A & 17B-20B, Nightsister #2 & 7, Dark side Adept #1-3, Ewok #41-45, Hammer Bros. #41-45, Hammer Bros. #11-16 & Gold Dragon #3-7.

Beckerman’s Backyardigan Beeyaatches are: Black Lantern Magog, White Lantern Kyle Raynor w/full spectrum, Beta Ray Bill, Grey Hulk, Black Lantern Mephisto, Black Lantern Terrax, Zombie Surtur, Malhedron, Uggha, Lightray, Shadowfall, Bekka, Hyalt, Terminator #1-25 & Predators #19-44.

“I don’t like ice. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Then it turns to water and gets everything soggy. Look Master, it’s like I wet myself.”

-Anakin Skywalker, on his first trip to Hoth.

The Tardis appeared in a remote area of the ice planet Hoth, only to be blown up by all six New Gods on the Backyardigans. Lightray looked over at Hyalt and said, “Like I said, tricky contraptions those boxes are. Future and past always appear to be the same thing.” The New Gods then disappear together, leaving nothing but silence and bitter cold.

The normally harsh yet quiet terrain of Hoth was thick with noise on this day; the final day of this regions stability. Unlike most planets, the first destructive force came in the form of robots, though their destruction of each other was minimal compared to the damage they did to the landscape. What were once hilly, ice covered glaciers, were now nothing more then cratered chunks of ice floating on a less then frozen ocean. The Terminators and Predators battled with Soundwave and his numerous tapes, a battle that took its immediate toll, leaving only a wingless Laserbeak left as the sole survivor. Lazerbeak attempted to crawl to safety but in his very short travels, he fell into the freezing Hoth waters, ending his cowardly life for good.

BL Mephisto: Everyone always assumes hell will be hot, for today at least, the Midgets will freeze.

Impossible Man: They sure will.

BL Mephisto: You do know you are not on my team?

Impossible Man: I’m not an idiot Mephisto. Though, you are.

Impossible Man then grows ten times his size and stomps on BL Mephisto, laughing at his own triumph. As Impy laughs and moves his foot around, he feels warmth underneath his foot, warmth that quickly turns into a burn.

Impossible Man: Athlete’s foot again, Tinactin is tough acting my foot. Like my literal foot, cause it’s burning right now.

Before Impy is able to move his foot, it is blown clear off by the Black Lantern ring attached to Mephisto’s right hand. The several hundred foot tall Impossible Man is unable to shrink his size before he loses his balance, sending him crashing down into the frozen Hoth earth. Ice and snow chunks fly up in the air, covering everything within a half mile radius, killing many in the process. Ewoks, pony’s, samurai, four gold dragons and a troll are all killed in the avalanche. Impossible Man is finally able to shrink back down to size but not before Mephisto puts him out of his misery.

BL Mephisto: Like I said, a cold day in hell.

Impossible Man is blown clear out of this existence, among many others. BL Mephisto then took off in the air to join the rest of his team.

A half mile away, Castor was fighting back to back with Pollex, trying their best to fight off the Black Lantern Duo of Magog and Terrax. The Dioskouri, though noble in their efforts, were no match to the power of the darkness that surrounded their opponents. BL Terrax blew a hole right in the middle of Castor’s chest and Magog stabbed Pollux through the eye with his staff.

Both Black Lanterns stood in triumph over their over-matched opponents, bragging to each other about their greatness. BL Mephisto saw his teammates victory from up above but was not quick enough to save them from the blindness their braggadocious nature shielded them from seeing. Magneto, accompanied with the power of Luminara Unduli’s White Lantern Ring, sent the Bell X-2 jet right through the chests of both Terrax and Magog. Both Black Lantern wearing Backyardigan members were torn right in half.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake with increasing intensity. Luminara Unduli slowly turned around to see a wall of white barreling toward him with the sound of a thousand freight trains. Magneto was frozen in horror and he could barely make out what Unduli said.

Luminara Unduli: RUNNNNNNN!!!!!

Magneto and Unduli quickly began running on the frozen tundra as the Grey Hulk came barreling toward them with both Shadowfall and Bekka directly behind them. Unduli them grabbed Magneto and shielded them both in a glow of white light, blinding the three oncoming Backyardigans members. Though the Hulk and two new gods were unable to make any headway towards their opponents, the white lantern shield quickly dissipated and soon enough, Magneto & Unduli were once again open to attack.

Unduli looked down at her White Lantern ring, a ring once full of life, now just an empty ring on her finger.

Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor: Thanks for the power Luminara. Now Hulk, Smash.

Grey Hulk picked both Magneto and Unduli up and began beating their heads together until the ground underneath him was a bloody, brain soaked mess. Hulk stood over the dead bodies, proud of the death he was at fault for. The New Gods stood around him in protection, awaiting another battle. Black Lantern Mephisto caught up to Kyle Raynor who was floating above the Hulk, watching as the remaining hoard of commons were heading straight towards them. One by one, Hammer brothers, Ice Brothers, Griffin’s, and Dragons came their way, only to be destroyed each and every time.

Next came the force sensitive common members. Though the fight was more difficult, the outcome was the exact same. One by one again, all the Jedi Masters, Night Sisters and Dark Side Adepts fell at the hands and energy blasts of the Backyardigans.

Allia Atreides was standing on a hill side nearby with the remaining members of her team, knowing that her team was no match for the remaining Backyardigan members that she faced. Not one to give up though, she asked every single member of her team to enter the Tardis, telling them to leave this place until one week’s time had passed. She met resistance from many of her teammates, especially Ariella Kent who insisted on staying behind to help. Allia understood where the young Kryptonian was coming from but explained to her that she was going to be needed when they came back. In the end, they understood her plan and followed her orders. The Tardis then disappeared, leaving everyone but her behind.

Allia then used every ounce of her powers, infecting Kyle Raynor, Black Lantern Mephisto and Beta Ray Bill, convincing them all to attack their own teammates. Mephisto and Beta Ray Bill immediately attacked Grey Hulk and Zombie Surtur. Mephisto sent a blast of black energy into Hulk, disintegrating him before he realized what even occurred. At the same time, Beta Ray Bill used Stormbreaker as a means to relieve Surtur of his head, Barry Bonds style.

After realizing what had occurred, Kyle Raynor screamed at Bekka and Shadowfall to leave this place at once and join their breathern, before doing what he knew he had to do in order to stop the Abomination of Allia Atreides. Once the New Gods had left this plain of existence, Kyle Raynor unleashed the full power of the color spectrum, leveling the entire planet of Hoth to nothing but a thin layer of freshly fallen snow. The planet wide blast, destroyed everything form of life on the planet, leaving it once more a peaceful bitterly cold world.

One Week Later…

The still frozen world lay in silence as the New Gods once more appeared, awaiting the arrival of the Tardis. After several hours of nothing, Hyalt turned to Lightray in confusion and said, “Do you think they are lost?” Lightray laughed and replied, “Tricky contraptions those boxes are. Future and past always appear to be the same thing.”

Hyalt looked back at Lightray wondering what was meant by the comment but before figuring it out, Lightray responded again with, “Follow my lead, I suspect I know where they went.”

S9W3 - Team Sleeping Pussy vs Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Team Sleeping Pussy is:

Bizzaro Superman, Toro, Devil Dinosaur, Nightshade, Sunfire, Dave Bowman:  The Starchild, Smokescreen, Movie Rachet, Scourge, Faker (Masters of the Universe), Wild C.A.T.S:  Void, Jonah Hex (w/YL Ring), Captain Boomerang (9 death), Captain Guts, Expendables:  The Lone Wolf, Duncan McLeod (w/ Green Lightsaber), Shi'ar Warrior #1-10, Droid Fighter Ship #13-14, War Skrull #5, Skrull #s 28-36, Xenomorph #s 11-25 & 35-47

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are:

The Fear Itself team:

(Ulik, Serpent, Skadi: Herald of the Serpent merged with Shao Khan, Kuurth: Breaker of Stone merged with Gimli, Nul:Breaker of Worlds merged with Beast Wars Megatron, Skirn: Breaker of Men merged with Princess Leia, Mokk: Breaker of Faith merged with Blanka, Angir: Breaker of Souls merged with Beast Man)

Franklin Richards, Gatecrasher, Cannonball, Nightsister Sith Witch #3-18, Droideka #1-5, Jedi Masters #1D-10D, Dark Jedi Masters #25A-37A, Blue Dragon #1-6, Treasure Troll #20

“Oh dammit! I got so busy this week quitting a job and crap that I forgot to unleash this week’s combatants into the arena” Fizzatu thought to himself. He hurridly flips the switch on his old Tandy desktop 486SX2 to view the scene on Hoth and start the match. But his eyes grow impatient as the modem dials into the BBS servers in London.

BALEEEE-EEEE-OHHHH-OHHHHH-OHHHHH-BREE-OOO-BREEE-OOOO says the modem.

“Why does Josh insist on us using this old ass technology to do our watching?  I could go my whole life without hearing a modem again…. FINALLY…”

The screen refreshes and Fizzatu is horrified at the carnage on the screen.  “What the hell happenend?  I didn’t start the match yet! They can’t start the match without me?!?”

The landscape of the frozen Star Wars planet has been blanketed in a sea of red.  Dismembered bodies are everywhere as Franklin Richards is locked in a heated arm wrestling match with Dave Bowman.

“What did I miss?” Asks fizzatu

“Aww, not much.” Says the Starchild laughing.  “You missed it when I tricked Franky boy here into killing half his own squad! What a dope!”

“I...Hate...You….” says Richards struggling for breath as he desperately tries to move Bowman’s arm.

“Well, what else happened?” Fizzatu asks.

“HA! Oh yeah, Hey Frank… Remember when Bizarro Supes smashed Ulik and Kuurth’s heads in at the same time.  Two whiny girls with one blow!  Ha!”  Mocks Dave.

“Stop… Calling… Me… Frank…” Franklin Richards says with increasing resentment.

“So that’s it?  Just the two of you are left?” Asks Fizzatu

“Naw.” Bowman answers,  “ I got Supes on mind control over on that glacier behind us cutting the limbs off all the corpses with his heat vision.  Ya know, for fun.  Work on his long range target practice.”

At this point, Franklin Richards is using both hands to try and budge the arm of the Starchild.  He finally grows frustrated and hits Bowman with left hook catching him off guard and breaking his mental grip on his teammate.  The two of them wrestle around on the ice exchanging blows until they suddenly break through surface whose integrity has been compromised by Superman’s excessive heat vision attacks.

Supes flies down to help but the hole they broke through was small and already starting to freeze over again.  He uses his freeze breath to blow the snow off the surface of the ice. After a short walk, he finds the lifeless eyes of both Richards and Bowman peering back at him through 6 inches of frozen water where, just minutes ago, their last desperate attempts to find oxygen finally failed.

A lonely Bizarro Superman sauntered back to the locker room.

The Moist Mafia Vs. The Abomitrons

The Moist Mafia is: Jedi Consular #1-4, Jedi Temple Guard #1-4, First Order Storm, Flame, and Snow Troopers 1-5, 1-5, & 1-5, Golden Army #40, 42-44, Triceraton #1-5, Warwolf #6-10, Air Centurion #5-10, Xebel Soldier #4-7, The Royal Flush Gang, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Maliketh the Accursed, Curse, Saint of All Killers, Doomed, The JLA Dark: John Constantine, Zatanna, Black Orchid, Madame Xanadu, and Nightmare Nurse, and Mace Windu.

The Abomitrons are Iron Legion #1-5, Asgardian #6-10, Dementor #11-20, Amazon #1-24, Army Ranger #2-6, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Angel, Iceman, War, Death, Penstilence, Famine, Ozymandias, Jemiah the Analyzer, Jass, Springer, Dia Atlas, Desaad, Brother Hymn, Supreme Leader Snoke, and T-Rex #1


There are very few beings in any universe that are powerful enough to create cosmic metal poop strong enough to destroy a whole world. And three of them are in this match. And then they decided to have a competition to see who could make the biggest one and hoth was there victim. And two teams were preparing for a battle because they knew something was coming. And little did they know that it was going to turn into diarrhea and start killing people. And that's when Gammenon The Gatherer took the first metal dump and it dropped on hoth. And killed warwolf #6-10 the second it hit them and they didn't die because the dump was big and crushed them they died because of how bad it smelled. And now Nezzar The Calculator is up to poop. And while T- Rex#1 is growling at supreme leader snoke because he is afraid of being crushed by huge celestial metal poop they get crushed by Nezzer The Calculator's poop. Then is Jemiah the Analyzer. Some of the metal came off of some of his poop and went straight into the saint of all killers eye while the rest of the poop killed Desaad because she was to busy making snow angels. Next to poop is Gammenon the Gatherer And his poop went straight down to mace windu but he sensed it and sliced it in half and half of it flew into Jedi Consular's #1-4 and the other half of the poop crashed into Asgardian's #1-6. Next one up is Nezzer The Calculator. It came down on Amazon 1-24, First order Flame Trooper #1-5,First Order Snow Trooper#1-5,And First Order Storm Trooper #1-5 Because they were getting ready to battle when they didn't know that there was going to be giant celestial poop falling from the sky. Now Jemiah the Analyzer is up. He pooped on Jazz, Springer, And Dia Atlas But instead of being crushed by the poop it totally made them fall apart and turn to rust the second they saw it. Next up is Gammenon The Gatherer. The poop crushed Jedi Temple Guard#1-4 and Golden Army #40,42-44 Even though they saw the metal poop they just stood there because they knew they were going to die eventually anyway. Next is Nezzer the calculator he pooped on Cyclops,Jean Gray,Beast,Angel, And Iceman Because they were texting and drinking coffee not paying attention to anything happening around them. Next is Jemiah The Analyzer. John Constantine, Zatanna,Black Orchid, And Madame Xanadu because they wanted to know what being crushed by giant celestial poop felt like. Next is Gammenon the Gatherer. His poop Killed War,Death ,Penstilence,Famine,And Ozymandias got crushed because they were talking about how people are dieing by giant celestial poop and there not going to do anything about it and just sit there and do nothing. Next is Nezzer The Calculator. His poop killed the Centurion's#5-10, Xebel Soldier's #4-7, And killed the whole Royal Flush Gang Ace,King,And Queen. Again not because it crushed them it was because of how bad it smelled. Next is Jemiah The Analyzer. His poop killed Meliketh The Accursed,Curse,Doomed,And nightmare nurse because they were watching Brother Hymn kill himself because he just felt like killing his self. The last poop. Gammenon the Gatherer. His killed Dementor's #11-20 Because they were celebrating that them and mace windu were the only people that survived. And finally the winner of the competition is...Gammenon The Gatherer. And since Nezzer the Calculator and Jemiah The Analyzer lost the competition they got upset and killed themselves . THE END

Happy Easter!!

The Lord is risen!! Let us rejoice and be glad. And let us also use this an excuse to delay all things Fantasy Fantasy for twenty-four hours. Matches will be up by Tuesday morning. Teams due by Wednesday at noon. Have a great holiday everybody!!

Consortium: Week 3

THE BATTLE OF THE ZACHARSKIS!!!!

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. TEAM

The Sith Aids are:

1. King Laufey (54pts)

2. Zombie Iceman (30pts)

3. King Cold

4. Freiza

5. Cooler

(As a group 30pts)

6. Snow Trooper#26 (6pts)

7. Snow Trooper#27 (6pts)

8. Snow Trooper#28 (6pts)

9. Snow Trooper#29 (6pts)

10. Snow Trooper#30 (6pts)

11. Sub-Zero (23pts)

12. Vampire Darth Vader (60pts)

13. Anakin Skywalker (45pts)

14. Darth Maul (45pts)

15. Boba Fett (32pts)

16. Ashoka Tano: Rebel (29pts)

17. Kanan Jarrus

18. Ezra Bridger

19. Zeb

20. Sabine Wren

21. Hera Syndulla

22. Chopper (C1-10P)

(As a team 70pts)

23. Piccolo (20pts)

24. Eeth Koth (32pts)

1. Frost Giant#1

2. Frost Giant#2

3. Frost Giant#3

4. Frost Giant#4

5. Frost Giant#5

6. Frost Giant#6

7. Parademon#1

8. Parademon#2

9. Parademon#3

10. Parademon#4

11. Parademon#5
12. Parademon#6

13. Parademon#7

14. Parademon#8

15. Parademon#9

16. Parademon#10

17. Eagle#1

18. Eagle#2

19. Eagle#3

20. Eagle#4

21. Eagle#5

22. Eagle#6

23. Eagle#7

24. Dark Side Marauder#13

25. Dark Side Marauder#14

26. Dark Side Marauder#15

27. Dark Side Marauder#16
28. Dark Side Marauder#17

29. Dark Side Marauder#18

30. Dark Side Marauder#19

31. Dark Side Marauder#20

32. Snow Trooper#31

33. Gondor Soldier#1

34. Gondor Soldier#2

35. Gondor Soldier#3

36. Gondor Soldier#4

37. Gondor Soldier#5

38. Gondor Soldier#6

39. Green Dragon#22

40. Green Dragon#24

41. Green Dragon#25

42. Green Dragon#26

43. Red Dragon#28

44. Red Dragon#29

45. Red Dragon#30

46. Griffin#1

47. Griffin#2

48. Griffin#3

49. Griffin#4

50. Griffin#5

Vehicles: AT-AT and AT-ST (I want the snow troopers to pilot them)



TEAM is:

Luke Skywalker
Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi
Lowbacca
Yareal Poof
Depa Billaba
Lor Zod (Chris Kent)
Crime Syndicate: Owlman
Crime Syndicate: Power Ring
Crime Syndicate: Johnny Quick
Crime Syndicate: White Martian
Crime Syndicate: Blood Eagle
Blue Beetle
The Apocalypse Twins: Uriel
The Apocalypse Twins: Eimen
Wonder Boy (w/ Atlas)
Mamaw
Papaw
Bama
Plumpy
John Williams


50 Free commons:

Neo-Cymek #1
Neo-Cymek #2
Neo-Cymek #3
Neo-Cymek #4
Neo-Cymek #5
Neo-Cymek #6
Neo-Cymek #7
Neo-Cymek #8
Neo-Cymek #9
Neo-Cymek #10
Neo-Cymek #11
Neo-Cymek #12
Neo-Cymek #13
Neo-Cymek #14
Neo-Cymek #15
Neo-Cymek #16
Neo-Cymek #17
Cybertronian Guardian #1
Cybertronian Guardian #2
Cybertronian Guardian #3
Cybertronian Guardian #4
Cybertronian Guardian #5
Cybertronian Guardian #6
Cybertronian Guardian #7
Nightsister Sith Witch #19
Jedi Master #8
Krayt Dragon #5
Force Adept #5
Sith Lord #6 (Darth Fuzzy)
Sith Lord #7 (Darth Cocky)
Dark Jedi Master #11
Jedi Master #32A
Jedi Master #16B
Jedi Knight #39B
Jedi Knight #40B
No Ship Futar #1
No Ship Futar #2
No Ship Futar #3
Sharkticon #47
Sharkticon #48
Sharkticon #49
Sharkticon #50
Cock Sneak Goomba #1
Cock Sneak Goomba #2
Cock Sneak Goomba #3
Cock Sneak Goomba #4
Cock Sneak Goomba #5
Cock Sneak Goomba #6
Cock Sneak Goomba #7
Cock Sneak Goomba #8


In a vote of 4 to 2.....

Season 9, Week 3 Match: George Washington's Slaves vs. Real Man's Rabblerousers

“Darth Shemalyah tested her apprentices, Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram, by exposing them to the extremes of the galaxy’s harshest environments.  Whether it was the frigid temperatures of Mygeeto or the suffocating heat of Sullust, her acolytes needed to perform to her extreme standards.

                                    Sith Holocron –unearthed in Sector 2356.

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 9, Week 3 Match located on Hoth.  They are as follows:

George Washington’s Slaves: Darth Shemalyah, Nik Landsoh, Brek Nyram, Ymir, Loki, Wally “WallyKazam” Trollman with Norville the Dragon, Vapor Man, Meteor Man, Gravity Girl, Zorak, Thunderstick, BuzzSaw, Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson and Marge Simpson, Jedi Masters #4-7, #10-19, #1C-23C and Starship Troopers #7-18.

Real Man’s Rabblerousers: Runabout and Runamuck, Movie Dreads: Crankcase, Crowbar and Hatchet, Trailbreaker, Junkeons #13-14, Movie Wreckers: Leadfoot, Roadbuster and Topspin, Movie Skids, Movie Mudflap, Vehicle Voltron – Air Team: Commander Jeff, Rocky, Wolo, Chip and Ginger, The Losers: Aisha, Clay, Jenson, Pooch, Roque and Cougar, Darth Desolous and Darth Zannah, Transformers Mech Units: Duke, Snake Eyes, Scarlett and Roadblock, Ghosts #2-7, Hammer Bros. #17, 19, 20, 21 and 22, Dark Side Adepts #7-12, Jedi Masters #29, 9, 34, 35 and 50A and Rebel Trooper #1.

Let the battle begin. . .

The Slaves’ locker room door slowly climbs and the frigid temperature rips through the bodies of the warriors.  Darth Shemalyah stands before the entire squad, her two apprentices directly behind her. 

Darth Shemalyah:  Flawless.

Brek Nyram and Nik Landsoh (bow and respond in unison):  As you wish, our Master.

It is only a short period of time before the frozen and desolate wasteland of Hoth is littered with combatants from the Star Wars universe.  Upon a closer look at the scene, it is clear that these figures are known to the league as “commons.”  The Slaves’ Jedi Masters #4-7, 10-19 and 1C-23C take the field.  Meanwhile, the Rabblerousers’ ordinaries consist of Dark Side Adepts #7-12 and Jedi Masters #29, 9, 34, 35 and 50A. 

Darth Desolous and Darth Zannah ignite their lightsabers and the duo fight with the entire Jedi Master crew of the Slaves.  A fury of multi-colored blades crash and spark as the common fighters battle the two Sith.  Meanwhile, Landsoh and Nyram have joined the skirmish and focus on the Rabblerousers’ Dark Side Adepts #7-12 and Jedi Masters #29, 9, 34, 35 and 50A.  At the end of the struggle, only Darth Desolous, Darth Zannah, Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram remain; four red blades waiting to be utilized, once again.  Landsoh and Nyram look back to see their master, her face a stoic mask.  Darth Shemalyah nods and the two acolytes rush toward Desolous and Zannah.  Nyram exchanges blows with Desolous, while Landsoh scuffles with Zannah.  In the end, Nyram and Landsoh are left standing, both without a scratch.  Darth Shemalyah smiles.

Across the tundra, the G.I. Joe Transformer Mech Units controlled by Duke, Snake Eyes, Scarlett and Roadblock clash with Starship Troopers #7-18.  The Troopers may be viable candidates to fight bugs, but they are no match for the fortified armor and advanced weaponry of the Mech Units.  All of the Slaves’ troopers are slaughtered in a matter of moments. 

Hammer Brothers #17, 19, 20, 21 and 22 focus their projectiles on the Simpsons.  Bart Simpson uses his skateboard (modified to a snowboard) to bat back the hammers thrown by #17 and 20, which, in turn, strike and kill #21.  Marge Simpson’s hair is shredded as #19 and 22 strike their mark.  She is then killed when her maternal instincts kick in and she ineffectually attempts to protect Lisa.  Both are killed by hammers crushing their yellow heads. Bart becomes enraged at his family’s deaths and characteristically snowboards between the Hammer Brothers as he does between the Springfield inhabitants on a weekly basis.  Bart kills #17 and 22 with his slingshot projectiles and Zorak races to the scene, killing the remaining Brothers; all Hammers are dead.  Zorak grabs onto Bart and the two snowboard across the snow to the next battle.

The Rabblerousers’ ghostly apparitions fly toward Darth Shemalyah, who remains behind the lines of the major battles.  Ghosts #2-7 whip around Shemalyah in a frenetic and agitated state.  Ghost #3 strikes Darth Shemalyah to the ground.  Shemalyah’s red eyes blaze at being struck by a common entity.  The Sith slowly rises.  Shemalyah closes her eyes and her mouth opens.  A torrential, wind-enhanced tornado sucks the Ghosts into her body.  Darth Shemalyah falls to the ground, once again, as a storm rages within her body.  A ghastly scream is heard from the lips of the woman and the Sith stands.  She opens her mouth and lets out an immense belch.  Ghosts #2-7 are no longer in existence. 

Bart Simpson and Zorak snowboard down the frozen hills of Hoth.  Shots ring out.  The head’s of Simpson and Zorak explode and a spray of both blood and brain matter float across the snowy ground below.  The two fall dead to the ground, the snowboard coming to a halt at the end of the hill which the two traversed upon.  The Losers, almost fifty yards from the site, look at one another – mission accomplished.    Aisha, Clay, Jenson, Pooch, Roque and Cougar slowly walk to their next fight.  The team is soon met by the Galaxy Trio of Vapor Man, Meteor Man and Gravity Girl.  The Losers spray bullets at the trio, to no avail.  Vapor Man transforms into his gaseous state; Meteor Man decreases his size and Gravity Girl bends the laws of gravity so that the bullets consistently miss their targets.  The trio then reacts as Meteor Man increases the size of his right arm and hand, striking and instantly killing Aisha and Roque.  Gravity Girl focuses her powers on Clay and Pooch, lifting their bodies hundreds of feet off the ground and dropping them to their deaths.  Vapor Man uses the cold environment to his advantage and produces a freeze vapor from his hands, killing Cougar and Jenson. 

Movie Skids and Mudflap are bickering amongst one another in a stereotypical way – as twin brothers often do.  They notice Wally “WallyKazam” Trollman with Norville the Dragon skirting along the snow.  The Transformers dispatch with the children’s characters in only a matter of seconds and high five each other, celebrating their ludicrous victory over the duo. 

An enraged Ymir enters the battlefield.  The Frost Giant progenitor immediately begins to dismantle Junkeons #13 and 14.  Ymir then focuses on the Transformer Mech Units.  Although Snake Eyes and Duke’s units are able to wound the behemoth, Ymir dispels with both Roadblock and Scarlett’s machinery as well as the controllers themselves.  Ymir falls to his knees at the repeated onslaught of Snake Eyes and Duke.  The G.I. Joes are about to deal their death blows when the duo suddenly succumbs to massive confusion at the state of current events.  The two fighters fire upon each other, destroying their own teammates.  The entire G.I. Joe carnage litters the ground and as Ymir rises to see what has actually transpired, he hears the laughter of the Trickster God.  Loki materializes out of thin air and nods to Ymir.

Thunderstick stands with Buzz Saw against a formidable Transformer force.  Although the two fight valiantly, they are simply no match for the Transformer Dreads: Crankcase, Crowbar and Hatchet, along with the assistance of Trailbreaker. 

The Galaxy Trio come together and utilizes their powers to their full extent, managing to defeat and destroy Runabout and Runamuck.  The three then face the Transformer Movie Wreckers: Leadfoot, Roadbuster and Topspin, as well as Vehicle Voltron.  Although the Trio manages to somewhat dismantle Vehicle Voltron by destroying the parts run by Wolo and Ginger, they all eventually perish in the melee. 

Moments pass as Darth Shemalyah, Nik Landsoh, Brek Nyram, Ymir and Loki stand side-by-side, anticipating the final battle about to commence.  The Slaves face the remaining Rabblerousers, being the Movie Dreads, Movie Wreckers, Movie Skids, Movie Mudflap, a partially effective Vehicle Voltron and Rebel Trooper #1, who stands behind his mechanical teammates.  In an epic battle, Ymir uses his strength and weaponry to destroy Mudflap and Skids, who attempt to spew a few snarky comments before being destroyed.  Ymir soon becomes winded at the effort expended and falls to the combined forces of the immense Movie Dreads and Wreckers. 

Loki, once again, uses his skills to mess with the minds of remaining Vehicle Voltron members.  Instead of becoming the entity necessary to finish off the Slaves, they, instead remain entirely separated and take each other out systematically, with the assistance of the lightsaber wielding efforts of Nyram and Landsoh. 

Trailbreaker fronts the Transformer Dreads and Wreckers.  Darth Shemalyah steps to the front of her team and disrobes her cloak.  Her hands begin to manipulate the air around her.  

Darth Shemalyah:  Magneto. . .

The Sith’s hands twist and the immense Transformers creak, crumple, bend and ultimately are crushed into a single balled construct of metal.  Shemalyah then opens her hands and what is left of the Transformers rip apart and explode across the land, missing the Slaves’ team in its remaining entirety.   

Shemalyah: . . .has nothing on me.

Rebel Trooper #1 is brought to Darth Shemalyah by Nyram and Landsoh.  Rebel Trooper #1 is thrown to the ground. 

Darth Shemalyah:  You shall tell all who listen that this league is now Darth Shemalyah’s.  All who oppose shall fall.  It is the time of the Slaves.  

Rebel Trooper #1 looks in shock that he is being allowed to live.

Landsoh:  But this is a death match!

Nyram stands before the trooper and slices his head off with his lightsaber.

Nyram:  You have to follow the rules!  You are not above them!

Shemalyah:  No rules apply to me.  I am above all!

Shemalyah ignites her saber and cuts into both Nyram and Landsoh, dealing them both critical wounds.  As the apprentices’ lives drip from their bodies, they hear the gutteral voice of their master.

Shemalyah:  Flawless you were, but never. . .  question. . .  me.  Never.

Darth Shemalyah turns her back and meets Loki.

Darth Shemalyah:  I will bed you.

Loki smiles as the two walk off to the locker room.

 

 

Rosters are here!

So the other day Josh called me and he was all like "Yo, Fizz.  I just hacked into the Google mainframe and rerouted the GUI interface using a backend firewall and Visual Basic and I think I found a brilliant way to get the rosters on the website updated in REAL TIME."

And I was all like "That tech shit doesn't even make sense. But I like where your head is at with the rosters"

So me and Josh pulled an all-nighter drinking Jolt cola and eating Cold-n-Nasty pizza and just as the morning light began to lay her blanket of warmth on our tired faces, we had done it.

Behold, The new Rosters Page!  http://fantasyfantasyleague.blogspot.com/p/rosters.html

This page contains links to each team's individual roster page that has real time updates of your roster as soon as they are updated.  Through the magic of the cloud and the power of the interwebs!

So click that link above or use the new updated "Rosters" link on the sidebar ( OVER THERE --> ) where I explain the roster pages with a little more detail.  Holler below if you have any questions/issues/suggestions/complements.

Have a blessed day.

Season 9, Week 2: B3 vs. The Super Kitties

The Super Kitties are: Godzilla, Seaworms 7 & 8, Sharkticons #27-30, Ice Bros. 8 & 9 on an amphibious ATV, Ice Bros. #10, Kingdom Come Aquaman, Sharkboy, and Mogwai #2.
B3 is: Aquaman, Topo, Karaquan, Llyron, Bloodtide, Dragonrider, Manowar, Sea Leopard, 2 Headed Shark, Black Lantern Mephisto, and Beta Ray Bill.

Alone together in the waters of Otah Gungah, the Super Kitties were growing impatient. Kingdom Come Aquaman and Sharkboy patrolled the depths with waning vigilance; Godzilla’s stomach roared out in hunger, sending tremors through the water’s surface. The deep growl sounded ominously woodchipper-esque. “We’ve waited long enough!” proclaimed KC Aquaman. “The enemy is clearly not going to show, where is Daveatu and our default victory?” Sharkboy surfaced beside him. “Daveatu? Dude, we’re gonna be here forever. Why are they still letting him Watch?” I cast my reflection in the water before them. “Probably because I'm a certified badass and all you grow up to be is a sparkly werewolf or something.”
“I'm Sharkboy, not Taylor Lautner.”
“You're a butt pirate. Where’s the Beckerteam?” I asked. Shark-jerk rolled his eyes. “They didn't show, shouldn't you know that?”
“What? No, that's not right, Beckerman said they were sent. I have an idea, follow me.”
A few… crap, what are ocean-miles measured in again? A few dozen of those away, a hideous cube of pink fleshiness floated in the water. Nearly the size of Godzilla’s head, the thing stank of sweat and processed meat. I recognized it immediately. “Anybody smaller than Godzilla better stand back. This is a wild Spam Filter, made from potted meat and clammy malice. It serves an important role in keeping things clean, but occasionally it catches something important. Looks like it sucked up B3, they're still alive in there but it's definitely gonna take me an extra… 5 days tops to get this match sorted out and-” Sharkboy’s claws and teeth appeared as his rage grew. “Now you're just screwing with us!” I threw up my water-reflection-hands. “You want to cry about it? Fine! You figure it out, go crazy bro!” I left their presence. I really was just screwing with them, I knew they'd figure it out fast. The whole team was in uproar, shouting amongst each other and cursing my name, it was great. Godzilla, hangry from lack of charred opponent snacks, grabbed the heinous wad of “meat” in his jaws. He began to thrash his head wildly in an attempt to bite through the rubbery prison, seemingly in vain, until a moist crackling sound sputtered out of the Spam Filter. Godzilla looked proud, at first, then confused, then disgusted as a pinkish ooze began to fill his mouth from lesions in the damaged cube. He spat the mass out as the ooze pushed through, straining harder and harder against the oily flesh of the thing until it finally tore apart, all at once being replaced by the rapidly growing Manowar. Free from the horrors of the Spam Filter, he shrunk back to release the teammates who had become engulfed in his expansive escape. “Thank you, Manowar. Let’s never speak of this again”, Said Aquaman as he brushed off some sticky residue from either Manowar or the SPAM™ brand meat substitute. Reacting quickly, the Ice Bros on the ATV and the one resting up on Daddy Godzilla’s shoulder began to hurl icy death at the Jellyfish-Man. The cold gradually began to stiffen his membranous surface, but he responded by lashing out at the ATV with a heavy swing of a tentacle. The ATV exploded more dramatically than might be realistic, I don't know how dramatically ATVs typically explode. As Ice Bro #10 continued to pelt Manowar from above, the Super Kitties’ four Sharkticons rose up from below to begin tearing at him. As the other Fathom Four rushed to aid him, the Seaworms began to crash in and out of the water around their fight. Black Lantern Mephisto, seemingly unconcerned with the heat of the battle around him, was holding Mogwai #2 in one hand. “Oh right, these things. Better keep this one dry” he said as he incinerated the fluffy little gremlin. Beta Ray Bill went after Godzilla, finding him to be more resilient than expected. He managed to bash the remaining Ice Bro off the lizard’s shoulder, but in a fatal error, he tried to swing for Godzilla’s face but found himself torched and chomped out of the air, the first victim to Godzilla's powerful munchies.Sharkboy was caught in Topo’s tightening grip, but he began to viciously chew through the octopuses arms, quickly bleeding him out. As for the Fathom Five, they took out the Sharkticons and seaworms but at the cost of their own lives. Kingdom Come Aquaman and regular-type Aquaman had sought each other out, each seeking to prove himself as the one true Aquaman. “You think you're a true ruler of Atlantis?” KC asked as they clashed. “You and your whole team were sucked up by some ridiculous sea-spam before the battle had even begun.” Aquaman Classic gave a sharp glare. “Not the whole team.” Two Headed Shark burst out on Aquaman’s mental cue, swallowing Sharkboy whole before proceeding to harass Godzilla. Godzilla wouldn't be showed up by such a laughable creature, and he grabbed it from the water to grab a bite out of it. “Is that all you've got?” KC Aquaman scoffed. “Not even close” said Aquaman. From deeper down still, a terrible groan was uttered that sent large bubbles floating to the surface. The Karaquan made his appearance all at once, completely overwhelming the unprepared Godzilla. KC Aquaman yelled out in fury and delivered a killing blow to Aquaman. As he turned to the Karaquan, he was met with instead by the face of Black Lantern Mephisto, who seized him by the throat before everything went black.