Striders of Rohan vs The Empire

The Striders of Rohan are Ancalagon the Black, Gothmog the Balrog, Balrog of Moria, Nazgul #2 on his Fell Beast, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Theoden King, Eomer, Eowyn, Rider Of Rohan #1-8 (7 on final death), Gandaulf the White, Blue Wizard #1, Blue Wizard #2, Radagast the Brown, Samwise Gamgee w/ blue lantern ring, Elrond, Arwen Evenstar w/ blue lantern ring, Isildor, Thorin Oakenshield, and Goblin #14-17.

The Empire are Leonardo w/ green lantern and blue lantern rings, Michelangelo w/ orange lantern ring, Donatello w/ indigo lantern ring, Raphael w/ red lantern ring, Hamato Yoshi w/ star sapphire ring, Casey Jones w/ yellow lantern ring, Ares, Ares (DC comics), Sarumon, Keno, Apollo, The Eradicator, Red Skull, Black lantern Kyle Raynor Surtur, Mephisto, Sardakaur Terro Troop #10-34, Watchdog #1-5, Korg and Meek.

The battle starts with the the good and the bad of the striders fighting each other for mordor but then they see the Empire approaching and realize they have to work together to protect it. The Balrog of Moria sees the charging Empire team and the hungry balrog that hasn't eaten all day stomps on meek and then eats Red Skull and Korg alive before Surtur slices the Balrog in half with his sword. Then even though Gandaulf and the Balrog of Moria had a bad past Gandualf avenges the balrog by using a spell to take every bit of fire out of Surtur and throwing it at all at the 5 watch dogs.

As legolas hides behind a rock he takes down 24 of the terror troops leaving none of the Dune troops alive. But an angry Raphael spots him and cuts off his head with his sai's.

The Eradicator comes blazing in from the sky and kills all the riders of rohan then he flies into Ancalagon the Black and uses his heat vision to blow him up from the inside. The Striders know this onslaught has to stop so Arwen Evenstar and Gandaulf hold the Eradicator still with there magic so that Gothmog the Balrog can rip him in half but not before he sets Arwen Evenstar on fire with his heat vision.

The 2 blue wizards and Radaghast the brown team up on Mephisto and call upon a freezing power to overcome his fire and then smash him into pieces. Keno then tries to sneak up behind Radaghast but he sees the Nazgul and his so frightened he runs back home. Apollo avenges his teammates by using his bow and arrow skills to shoot blue wizard #1 and his power to inflict disease by giving blue wizard #2 the corona virus. Then Radaghast and Gandalf pick him up with there magic and throw him into the volcano.

Elrond, Gimli, Boromir, and the goblins manage to take out the Ninja Turtles but the turtles killed everybody but Elrond, courtesy of their newly acquired lantern rings. Casey Jones attempts to kill Elrond but instead he gets a sword to the heart but it was merely a distraction as Black Lantern Kyle Raynor and Hamato Yoshi use their lantern energy to kill Elrond. Isildor then uses his long sword to cut off his head and then Thorin Oakenshield joins Isildur to cut off the limbs of kyle Raynor but Thorin gets blasted into oblivian in the proccess.

Eowyn and Eomer then distract Saruman so Gandalf can use his magic to push Sauruman 100 feet into the ground.

Ares and Ares are the Empires only hope but they are no match for the Balrog, Theoden king, and the two wizards as Ares and Ares take out Gothmog while Gandalf and Theoden King come up form behind and kill him. And finnally Samwise Gamgee giving the team hope and cheering them on comes out of hiding with the Nazgul to kill Ares.

S11 W3 - Be Gentle It’s My First Time vs The Genderless Shorties

Be Gentle It’s My First Time is: Zilla, Megalon, Chuck Norris penguin Suit, Mako (w/ yellow Lantern ring) with tiger sharks, Steppen Wolfe, Namorita, Black lantern Super Boy, Spinosaurus (4 deaths), Goober Fish #1-5, Carnage, Zombie Superman, Granny Goodness, Vincent Vega.

The Genderless Shorties are: Gamera, Nightsister Spirit, Nightsister Zombie, Joan Jett (in a Frog Suit), Don Rickles (in a Penguin Suit), The Lochness Monster, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Seaspray, Mimic, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Hermes, The rest on an Aircraft Carrier: Vorian Attiedes (in command), (original) Duncan Idaho, Kobe Bryant, Allia Atreides, Lobot, Nazgul #9 on his Mordor Horse, Gurney Halleck, Salacious B. Crumb (with 7th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Gumby and his Pony Pal Pokey, Kuiil, Jimmy Olsen (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Lois Lane (w/ a cape feather), Ewok #4.

The water thrashed when Joan Jett and Don Rickles in their suits tried desperately to get away from Chuck Norris who easily catches and drowns the duo. Chuck then hopped on the back of Mako who, along with the other Tiger Sharks, started chasing after Seaspray who was transformed into boat mode. Seaspray was transporting NS Zombie, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Hermes, Mimic and the Toads to the aircraft carrier to rejoin their team. Hermes threw his staff at Chuck but it just deflected off his rock hard hairy bare chest and killed Gupp the tigershark instead. Seaspray then hit a bump (which turned out to just be Vincent Vega doing the frog backstroke eating a royale with cheese). The impact caused Hecate to be tossed from the ship where she was eaten by Dolph. The blood from Vega then splashed in the eyes of Yellow Toad and Blue Toad and they both instantly died from Covid-19.

Nightsister spirit possesses the body of Granny Goodness who has just taken out Duncan Idaho and Gurney Man with the help of Steppen Wolfe. As the spirit takes her over, she turns on Steppen Wolfe and kills him and sets her sights on the rest of her own team. Carnage sees this and tears the old woman in half and throws her corpse over the edge of the ship.

Kuiil is trying to repair a helicopter on the opposite end of the deck when he crosses up some wires wrong and the engine explodes causing the tail rudder to impale the chest of Kobe Bryant and the explosion killing the ugnaught. I have spoken.

Chuck and his Tigersharks have Seaspray surrounded along with Goober Fish #1-5 and Spinosaurus. The sharks charge first and Chuck leaps onto the deck of the ship and starts a fight with Hermes as the sharks rock the boat from underneath. All are thrown into the sea when Seaspray transforms into a “person” and starts hurling goober fish and sharks at the hull of the Aircraft Carrier. Spinosaurus gets a hold of Chuck’s leg and rips it off. The fighting is intense when suddenly they are all frozen by zombie Superman. Superboy follows up and with a powerful punch shatters everyone into pieces. Did everyone here deserve better deaths, probably. But since I don’t know how calendars work, you get what you get.

Oh yeah, Bee-Tee-Dubs, while all this was going on, a Japanese film crew was shooting a movie in the background. It's a giant fight between Zilla (which is godzilla but from the Ferris Bueller Remake) and Megalon VS. The Lochness Monster and Gamera. It looks like a sweet fight. One of those monsters was beating another one using Nessie as a club. I can’t tell from here. I’ve been watching the developments on the boat.

Vorian and Lobot are on the bridge trying to keep the boat steady. As if the large reptilian fight wasn’t enough, Namorita has created a whirlpool in the sea that is causing the ship to spin. Nazgul #9 is able to somehow cut the head off Carnage after he loses his balance and trips over ewok #4.

At the same moment the hull of the ship is torn open with the dead body of Megalon and the ship begins to consume water at an alarming pace. Everyone is sliding across the deck of the ship. Before Black Lantern Superboy can take flight, Alia Atreides was already on his back driving the gob jabbar in his neck. Why, you ask? Because she already knew this was going to happen. Prescient Vision, yo.

Jimmy Olsen was able to grab Lois Lane and, using his tanooki suit, flew her to the bow of the ship that was now quickly rising in the sea. They laid on the edge of the ship as it stood straight up for a moment before beginning to sink. The two held hands. “Don’t let go, Lois!” Jimmy yelled as they watched all the rest of their teammates fall into the sea below and get finished off by the waves or by Zombie Supes buzzing back and forth.

An exhausted Zilla, sole survivor of the monster fight, arrives at the ship and devours the pair before they can be swallowed by the ocean.

Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Earth 2 Superman, The Sando Aqua Monster, Beechead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Guns N' Roses: Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagen (in a Penguin Suit), Steven Adler, & Dizzy Reed in a German U-Boat. Jaws (4), Death, Nolan & Austin: Sith Bros in Arwings, Macho Man (w/ a Power Ring), Mogo, Twincast w/ Fast Forward, & Autobot Cassette #1-3, & Mary Embery.

George Washington's House Elves are Gandalf the Grey, Set, Godzilla, Iron Man, Luke Skywalker, Seaworm #1A-2A, Black Lantern Seaworm, Vampire Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm, The Monkguin, Qui Gonn Jinn (in a Frog Suit), M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, Zangief, Lucca Brazzi, Seaworm #10, Zuma in a Hovercraft, Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Mako, Prince Harry in a F-16, Princess Meggan, Archie, & John Schlade.

Both teams are dropped into The Indian Ocean and like many water battles it is instantly a question of those who thrive and those who do not. The GI Joes led by Lt. Flint inside the German U-Boat attempt to direct the Popeye's Crew, while they are thoroughly entertained by Guns N' Roses who is mainly playing songs from Appetite for Construction, since Dizzy is off the keys and taking over on Bass Guitar, so Duff can be out in the thick of the fight in his Penguin Suit.

Prince Harry in his F-16 becomes locked in what would have been an incredible dog fight with the Sith Bros. and their Arwings; but none of those vehicles work in the water; so they all just drowned instead. Princess Meghan drowned as well, but not from the salt water of the Indian Ocean; but rather from her own salty tears due to the terrible life that she is forced to lead as a member of British Royalty. Much like Harry and Meghan, I wasn't paying any attention to Archie; so I failed to notice how he died.

Macho Man is easily winning the bodybuilding contest he is having with Sagat, Zangief, Balrog, M. Bison, and Vega as the former member of the Mega Powers uses his Power Ring to Boost his own stats well passed the steroid riddles version of himself in that Spider-Man movie from the last century. None of this keeps them all from inevitably drowning of course.

Lucca Brazzi as destiny would have it sleeps with the fishes.

Jeffrey Epstein, a man who loves his deviant life refuses to let himself drown. So he and his buddy Prince Andrew both give up on their human disguises and take on their full Reptilian form (see David Icke); so they can navigate the water more properly. Mary Embery is drawn to this ancient power; but despite the esoteric Illuminati knowledge they all possess, they join each other in death as Mary Embery comes closer to them causing her to lose her powers and drown in an ancient ritual that even they do not understand.

E2 Superman would have had a very tough time with the team-up of Gandalf the Grey and Luke Skywalker, if the Wizard and the Jedi Knight weren't so busy treading water. Gandalf manages to get off a quick spell to weaken Supes a bit before Kal L hits Gandalf and Luke with some freeze breathe that turns them into blocks of ice sending them both sinking below the surface. Wait..... Ice floats doesn't it. Maybe they just froze to death. Err, maybe the water penetrated the frozen blocks. I don't know how this crap works, I ain't gonna do the math either. Science isn't my scene. Either way, they died. The weakened Superman, would have normally still be tough enough to take out Tony Stark; but with Iron Man's adapted water function on his suit, the skirmish is tilted the other direction. Iron Man forces the battle to be fought as deep into the Ocean as he can lead Superman. The fight rages on with an unprecedented amount of power being fought through by both combatants. As only you super-duper nerds out there already know, the Golden Age or Earth 2 version of Superman can hold his breath for an incredibly long period of time; but he does indeed need to hold it while in Space or under water. His breath is finally knocked from him after a few dozen building destroying punches are delivered by Iron Man. After winning the fight against Superman, the proud Tony Stark attempts to move towards the surface and rejoin the fight; but finds that his suit was far too damaged by the Last Son of Krypton. He floats back down to the bottom and joins his worthy opponent in their watery grave.

And now for the actual water battle to begin:

The Popeye squad with the Submarine peeps calling the shots have set up behind their champion The Sando Aqua Monster and the insanely powerful Mogo who is a bit out of his element under the water; but still very well protected by his green lantern aura. Twincast and his Cassettes are dwarfed by their monstrous teammates, but remain prepped for battle as well.

On the other side the House Elves begin to form up as well as they begin what both squads realize will be one final push towards victory or defeat.

John Schlade was given a Jedi Mouthpiece (ya know the thing from Phantom Menace) by Qui Gon so he can stay alive, since Qui Gon doesn't need it, due to his fancy Frog Suit (I guess Chris felt like permanently turning this extremely powerful Jedi Master into a permanent water character Kyle Houslander style (see Hancock)). John Schlade is so taken aback by the monstrous size of The Sando Aqua Monster that he almost, for a split second, considers, taking the Lord's name in vain. Luckily he thinks better of himself. His fears are quelled though as his homeboy Qui Gonn assures him that “there is always a bigger fish” as their teammate Godzilla appears from the depths of the Sea and becomes locked in a pitched battle with The Sando Aqua Monster.

Zuma heads in on the double and attacks The U-Boat with her Hovercraft; but the antiquated weaponry of the U-Boat are still more than enough to take down the Pup. The U-Boat then targets Seaworm #2A with all of its firepower and is able to take out the beast; but the body of the genetically engineered sea monster falls upon the boat and pins it against an outcropping of rock. The combatants inside are still alive and well until the sneaky little Monkguin finds an exterior release valve on the pinned vessel and opens it up. The curious little Monkgwee doesn't get out of the way in time and dies himself in the rush of current that eventually floods the U-Boat and kills all inside.

Death, although out of her element remains extremely powerful and is able to single-handedly kill Seaworm #1A. She has more difficulty though as she attempts to bring death upon those who have already experienced the pain of the nether realm. Once she finds Black lantern Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm, and Vampire Seaworm drawn to her aura she cannot contain what their attack brings and is destroyed.

Mogo begins to unleash his green lantern energy on Set; but is shocked to realize that the seven headed serpent only grows larger as the energy is absorbed. Set begins to consume Mogo; but even with the power of Atlantis itself fueling the giant serpent it cannot quite handle all of Mogo's extreme power. Mogo is completely absorbed by Set; but two of the monster's enormous heads explode leaving it a five headed creature complete with the power of Mogo.

Qui Gon and Duff have one Hell of a water fistfight. If Jinn's lightsaber could work under water, than this contest would be over quick, but since it cannot, Duff's kickboxing skills are able to keep up with Qui Gon's Jedi moves. As the fight goes on, I sat in front of the computer for about three minutes thinking of how the fight should go and nothing popped into my head; so Seaworm #10 swam by and ate them both instead. The Seaworm is not able to enjoy his meal for long though, as Jaws comes by and makes a meal out it, sending the 10th Seaworm to the Graveyard. Much like what happened with Death, the three undead Seaworms converge on Jaws and attack. They are able to win with a triple team, but the zombie goes down to the might of the fourth Jaws.

Mako takes out all three Autobot Cassettes before being crushed by their boss Twincast, John Schlade is defeated in one on one combat against Fast Forward (everyone should look up the Autobot Cassette Fast Forward, so you can understand his true power). Fast Forward attempts to regroup with his master Twin Cast; but Set swallows Fast Forward whole and crushes Twin Cast under his enormous body.

This flaming turd of a match would have been much more interesting if instead of following the minutia, we simply watched the incredible fight between The Sando Aqua Monster and Godzilla that has been raging on since the start of this match. As it comes to a close, we see a battered Godzilla fight through the punches, kicks, and bites of The Sando, pin him to the Ocean floor and blast him with water-proof Lightning breath.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Empire

Two Hungry Dino-Mites With Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Aquaman, Red Lantern Mira, Kit Fisto, Nadar Veb, Captain Tarpals (w/ Super Scope 6), Jar Jar Binks, Ice (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Queen Tesla, Superboy Prime, Ewok Scout (in a Frog Suit), The Technibots: Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, & Nosecone, A Submarine containing: Cassian Andor, K2S0, Flute Cop, Uni-Baby, Grey Diamond, Best Fairy Ever, BatWartHog Man, The Ghostbusters: Rey Stanz, Peter Venkman, Egon Spengler, & Winston Zeddimore, Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, & Tre Cool, & Rebel Soldier #10.

The Empire is: Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, White Lantern Swamp Thing, Jolee Fishdo, Sky Lynx, Black Lantern Superman, Voltron (of The Mid Universe), Korg, Meek, Jaws (2), Jaws (3), Jason Voorhies, Vampire #1-10, Thinking Machine #1-8, & 12 Sardakaur Terror Troops.

Kyle Raynor, in possession and control of the Full Spectrum of light and power creates an aura protecting the entirety of his team. Swamp Thing directs the White Lantern power as well as his own natural powers to create a natural seaweed/plant protection area around the aura itself as a first line of defense.

Aquaman and Mira lead their squad in cautiously and surround the aura. The Technibots, Quintessa, and the Submarine begin to bombard the aura with projectiles, in an attempt to weaken it. Swamp Thing begins controlling the algae outside the aura to attack the Dino-Mites, while Raynor sends out Black Lantern Superman and the two Jaws sharks as the first wave. Sky Lynx and Voltron follow, with the Vampires and Thinking Machines swimming out after them.

Aquaman regrettably makes the two Great White Sharks attack each other resulting in a double death, while Quintessa and Voltron lock into a pitched battle alongside Superboy Prime and Black Lantern Superman doing the same. The Technibots merge to form Computron and are met by their old ally Sky Lynx.

Cassian's submarine takes aim at the core of Voltron, with a shot that can clearly take out the giant Gestalt; but Jar Jar Binks is swimming directly in the line of fire. Captain Tarpals begins to wave furiously at his bombad General; but Jar Jar just stupidly looks his way and gestures: “mEeSa”.... The Sub holds their fire; and in the meantime is bombarded by the lasgun blasts of the Thinking Machines. The sub begins to take on water when Grey Diamond says out loud: “I sure wish we could of got that aura destroyed before our sub went down”. Uni-Baby hears this and coincidence or not, a shot from the Super Scope Six of Captain Tarpals hits the aura and brings the energy field down. The Powers of the lantern rings go fully uncontrolled by the struggling Raynor who begins to drown without the rings to protect him along with his teammates Korg, Meek, Jason, and the Sardakaur. The Ghostbusters, using their proton packs manage to destroy the Thinking Machines attacking the Submarine before the sub inevitably floods with water and kills all on board. The Vampires surround the befuddled Jar Jar and rip him apart; but are then taken out one by one by Kit Fisto and Nadar Vebb with their underwater-functional lightsabers. They move on Jolee Fishdo next who has a similar lightsaber; but is unable to defeat the two Jedi once he is double-teamed.

Voltron, being spared from the submarine's weaponry delivers the killing blow against Quintessa, extinguishing her spark, while Mira directs the full power of her red lantern ring at Black Lantern Supes. This normally would not have been enough to destroy the powerful foe, but as the water was permeated with the power of the other lantern rings from that of Kyle Raynor they combined the power and destroyed him. This allows Superboy Prime to divert his attention to Voltron, he is aided by Fisto and Vebb in the attack. Sky Lynx attacks the core of Computron breaking the Gestalt apart but doing great damage to both its bird and beast sections as well. The five Technibots regroup as a team of five and are able to take out both parts of Sky Lynx but only Lightspeed and Afterburner survive the final battle.

Captain Tarpals, Afterburner, Lightspeed, Ice, and Ewok Scout all join the attack on Voltron, while White Lantern Swamp Thing decides that he must finally take control of this contest and unleash the full power at his disposal. Swamp Thing does so; but although his power is intense in this setting, it is nothing compared to the full power of the ocean that is unleashed upon him by Aquaman and Mira. The husband and wife sea-master Duo work together to take down Swamp Thing, who in his last breath looks over to see his final teammate Voltron being destroyed by the plethora of tiny minions surrounding him.

Week 3 Consortium:

TEAM: The Houslander Lantern Spectrum Team: White Lantern Josh, Star Sapphire & Yellow Lantern Laya, Green & Blue Lantern Alex, Indigo & Red Lantern Scarlet, Orange Lantern Grayson, & Black Lantern Zoe, Jedi Knight Laya, Young Jedi Knight Alex, Jedi Padawan Scarlet, & Jedi Youngling Grayson, Superboy, Cyborg Superman, Sharkticon #1-10, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tor, Leader One, Emerald Weapon, Warpath, Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliff Jumper, & Nightbird.

Super Kitties: Ocean Master, Hades, Squirtle, Aqualad, Athena, Phibian #1-20, Ttanus, Blastois, Piplup, Aphrodite, & Tomar Tu, (The rest) In a Submarine: Captain Pike (in command), Clark Griffin, Bellamy Blake, John Murphy, Octavia Blake, Raven Reyes, Lexa, Indra, Modi, & Marty Green, Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Killer Frost, Joe West, Vibe, & Iris West, Magnus Bane, Finich O' Dare (w/ a Trident), Sub-Zero, & Space Trooper #1-3.

Week 3: Striders V Sith Aids

Striders of Rohan: Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Rainbow Six Vanilla Operators, T-2, T-3, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnackh, Grima Wormtongue, Elon Musk, Robert Downey Jr., Juwan Howard, John Quincey Adams, Agent 47, Alan Trammel, Barry Sanders, Fedayeen #1-3, Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4

Sith Aids: The Fallen (4 Deaths), Jet Jaguar, Sharkticon #1-10 #1-2 8-10 have 4 deaths #3-7 have 3 deaths, The Dinobots (Grimlock, Slag, Snarl, Sludge, Swoop), Predacons (Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, Tantrum), The Pretender Monsters (Birdbrain, Bristleback, Icepick, Scowl, Slog, Wildfly), Voltron (Voltron #1-5), Insecticons (Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage), Thunderstrike, Watto

Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan (Being the only capable fighters) Watch as the Rainbow Six Vanilla Operators, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnack, Grima Wormtongue, Elon Musk, Robert Downey Jr., Juwan Howard, John Quincey Adams, Agent 47, Alan Trammel, Barry Sanders, Fedayeen #1-3 and Duncan Idaho Ghola #4 all begin to tread water. Over the horizon the treaders see a small winged creature approaching, Hailing as a messager, the Striders see what he has to say. The Toydarian known as Watto begins to speak “So, you wanna surrender-uh, save us alotta time,” Hal Jordan asks “Maybe we can work something else out” But Watto exclaims “Your credits are no good here.” The Striders refusing to give up, decide to kill the messenger to hopefully buy some time. Watto attempting to escape finds himself surrounded by Kylo Ren and Hancock, who deliver the biggest beat down this side of Flight 370. Watto utters his final remarks “No Republic Credits” before falling limp.

Shortly after the death of Watto, the Sharkticons coming from below begin to eat the treaders whole. Attempting to protect themselves they begin to thrash and land good hits on Sharkticons 3-7, but the other Sharkicons refuse to die today and continue to feast. Kylo, Hancock, Vampire Neo, and Hal all want to help, but the water is mixing with the blood of their allies to quickly and they lose sight of their friends. Suddenly Barry Sanders erupts from the crimson water with the head of Sharkticon #1, But Sharkticon #2 follows swallowing the star running back whole. With everyone else dead, the 4 Survivors contact T-2 and T-3, who were given the task of scouting the ocean floor. “Large Masses Detected” “Metallic Beings Detected”. Kylo Ren w/ Red Lantern Ring, Hancock in a Frog Suit, Vampire Neo, White Lantern Hal Jordan now know that there is a much larger threat looming below and move to strike. The remaining Sharkticons cant stand up to the power of the remaining Striders and are destroyed. Sith Aids are prepared though and Scowl begins to screech rendering the Striders disoriented. The Pretender Monsters with  Thunderstrike decide to fight Hancock, while the Predacons with Jet Jaguar will try to defeat Neo, The Dinobots with Voltron will battle Kylo, and the Insecticons and The Fallen will fight Hal Jordan.

With the Striders heavily outnumbered, Sith Aids is seeing victory on the horizons. Hancock is able to destroy Wildfly and Scowl, as they both were annoying him, before receiving a direct hit from Thunderstrike and his Mace. Neo is able to dodge well from the Jet Jaguar, but before he knows it he is backed right into the Predacons who destroy the vampire. Kylo, using the power of the ring, is able to stall for long enough that T-2 and T-3 are able to climb the legs of Voltron, before initiating self destruct knocking out Voltron. Kylo does his best slashing the Dinobots and Slag and Snarl are cut into bits before the rest of the bots get their hands on him. Using the force he is able to crush Swoop, but now with an opening, Grimlock delivers a killing blow. Hal Jordan and The Fallen are in a 1v1 Melee Rumble, with the first Decepticon delivering massive blows, and the lone Lantern conjuring a defense for every attack. Hal begins to use the Insecticons to block his attacks. Picking up Ransack and Venom with the power of the ring, they are smashed by their teammate who will win at any cost. But now Barrage and Chop Shop are not going to let them fight solo. And before he knows it he finds his back under attack from the two bots. With the three bots crashing down on Hal, he has no choice but to use the full power of the ring. With the last of his energy, he attempts an all-out attack on his opponents. Damaging the Fallen heavily, he looks to make the final blow, but just as he begins Chop Shop take the hits, allowing the Fallen to deliver a killing blow. 

Democracy Week 3: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Ashoka's Arobatic Assassins are Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian, Poseidan, Jaws, Avatar Korra, Katara, Desna and Eska, Daughter of Mortis with Penguin Suit, Beast Boy, Franklin Richards, Jason Bourne with Indigo Lantern Ring, White Lantern Zachary Houslander (4 deaths), Salak (4 deaths), Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Ajax w/ Green Lantern Ring, and Zombie #8-15.

Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions are The Seacons: Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Black Manta, Killer Kroc, Starscream's Ghost, White Lantern Deadman, Mega Man X, White Lantern Kyle Raynor, Hal Jordan, Star Saphirre, Saint Walker, Yellow Lanterns #1-3, Alan Scott, Guy Gadner, Terminator #1-3, Green Lantern Sinestro.

S11 W2: Popeyes vs Kitties

Affermative Action Popeye's are: Cyclonus and his Armada, Power Man and Iron Fist , Jessica Jones , Earth 2 Superman , Guns N' Roses (Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen in a Penguin Suit, Steven Adler, and Drizzy Reed) in a Vimana, Sith Bros Nolan and Austin each in a F-18.

 

Super Kitties are:  Abeloth (4 deaths), Supergirl, Fred and George Weasaly (on a Harley Davidson), Mystery Inc.:  Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in The Mystery Machine, Dry Bones in his Kart, Michael Myers

I was lame this week and had to reach out to the other watchers to decide this one via consortium. My apologies.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Captain America on his Motorcycle, Ant Man, Wasp, Bullseye, Dakken, Falcon w/ Red Wing, Android Human Torch w/ Toro, Daredevil, The Winter Soldier & Jar Jar Binks in a Lamborghini Countach, & Rebel Soldier #1-5 in a 1996 Ford Mustang Cobra.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Zombie Cyborg Superman, Red Son Superman, Jet Jaguar, Ultra Man, and Unsullied #1-5.


Captain America cannot believe what has happened to his city. New York is not technically under martial law; but they might as well be. Businesses are closed by government mandate and New Yorkers are scared to even leave their homes after the media and government have put them in a state of hysteria. Cap has briefed his group of Avengers, who although may not always have been on the same side are all totally on board as proud Avengers after seeing Cap not only lead by example but also after hearing his memorable and inspiring speech. He let his team know that they were about to face one of the most powerful squads he had ever seen. “They have two guys on that squad who could easily put Thanos in a body-bag on their own and two other guys who make Goliath look like a midget”.

Cap rides into battle ahead of his team on his custom Harley Davidson, and his Avengers charge into battle behind him.

Daredevil bravely takes on all five members of the Unsullied Army and is able to defeat them despite dying of his numerous stab wounds after taking out the last member.

Cap rides up to take on The Zombie Cyborg Superman; but Bullsey, Dakken, and Human Torch assure their leader that they can handle the opponent. Cap then orders his smallest teammates Ant Man, Wasp, and Toro to see what they can do against their biggest enemy Ultra Man, while Winter Soldier and the Rebel Soldiers crash their cars into the legs of Jet Jaguar knocking the huge robot to the ground. Ultra Man grabs a hold of Toro and crushes the fiery, robot sidekick in his hand, while vaporizing Ant Man and Wasp with his advanced laser, targeting system. As Jet Jaguar, reforms himself; Winter Soldier and the Rebel Soldiers join the fight against Ultra Man. The massive Japanese Robot sends an enormous sonic wave at the soldiers blasting them to bits. Winter Soldier lay on the ground near death, only his cybernetic enhancements keeping him alive momentarily. Bucky calls out to his old friend Jar Jar. “Binks, get over here”. He yells.

“Meesa”?? Binks asks.

In his dying breath The Winter Soldier opens up a compartment in his robot arm and hands a small cylinder to his Gungan friend. “Binks, you are our last hope, this micro-nuke can take those robots out. The. Avengers. Are. Counting. On. You.

Zombie Cyborg Supes grabs a hold of Human Torch without even feeling warmth and rips the android in two. He then turns his head to blast Bullseye with enough zombie heat vision to melt any steal beam here in New York; but before the heat vision hits, Bullseye kicks up the shrapnel from his former partner Human Torch, turning them into knives and ripping apart the cybernetics and zombie flesh of ZCS. With this diversion, Dakken sneaks up behind ZCS and separates his head from his buddy with his razor sharp claws.

Jar Jar leaps away from the scene and finds himself in the center of the two massive robots. Ultra Man speaks in his monotone, metallic voice: “Only one opponent remains. Threat Level: Extremely Low”.

Jar fumbles, with the explosive from Bucky and says: “Low... Low you says. Meesa No think so. MEESA. BOMBAD. AVENGER”.

With these final words, Jar Jar presses the detonator and ignites a Mushroom cloud that blows both Ultra Man and Jet Jaguar to smithereens.

R.S. Supes flies in fast to avenge his cyborg, zombie self and punches a hole through Dakken's adamantium face. Falcon and Red Wing swoop in to battle The Communist Superman; but RS Superman delivers yet another punch to the gut of Falcon and applies a quick heat vision zap to his bird Redwing.

“Americans, they die so easily” RS Superman proclaims to the world around him; but Cap shows up behind him and joins the conversation: “Let's see about that, Commie. There is one more American here”.

Cap continues as he tightens the strap around his shield and prepares for battle: “You're in my city pal, this is The United States of America, the land of the free. Your totalitarian ways aren't going to take over my country. This is one fight you're going to lose”.

Captain America throws his star spangled shield at the USSR raised Superman; but the shield bounces off of him. The now defenseless Cap is then coated in ice cold freeze breath. Before Red Son Superman shatters the Patriot like glass, Cap hears the Kryptonian say: “After this week your American dream is dead”.

TEAM Vs. The Empire

TEAM is The Hernandez Mandolorian Clan: Adam, Kate, Jackson, & Eric Gilson, The Constructicons: Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, & Scavenger, Vulcan, Duke Nukem, Blaster w/ Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Tom Cruise in a F-22, Robot Sonic, and Hammer Bros. #1-10.

The Empire is The Joker, Harley Quinn, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael w/ Bernie Sanders (in the Hammer Bros. & Sickle Suit) in The Party Wagon, Casey Jones and Alexandria Occassio-Cortez on a Ducatti, Krang, Shredder, Hamato Yoshi, Karai, & Keno.

Yo, Yo, Yo, it's your boy The Neon Master Pogo here. I'm watching this match from an I-Pad in my house, because like any sensible person I am self-quarantining myself from a virus that I have never seen, never met anyone infected, never met anyone who met anyone who is infected, and that probably wouldn't hurt me even if I got it. It's been a hectic week for all. New York City is in full freak out mode as people hide in their homes; not from the terrible battle that is about to take place in the streets; but from the dreaded virus that the media has used to scare people into thinking that we are all going to die, so before we do, let's make sure to give up all of our liberty to the government. Cybertron has been shut down and so have all flights back and forth from the planet. It doesn't make much sense, because Cybertronians can't be hurt by the virus, but then again neither can most people. With nowhere to go, all of the Transformers on TEAM have been staying at the Hernandez Clan's home. It gets pretty crowded having a bunch of giant robots around, so they are definitely looking forward to this “cRiSiS” to end. The Empire has already taken to the streets, where they can at least still get carry out pizza from a few places. Keno decided to do his civic duty and beat up some guys who dared to go to work and attempt to earn some money today. He looks over at the beat up construction workers and says: “Did I mention I study martial arts”??

Everyone laughs hysterically at this hilarious quip, except for The Constructicons, who get revenge for their hard-working brethren by merging to form Devastator and taking a molten, metallic power dump down Keno's throat.

A crashed F-22 lay on the ground in a wreckage with Tom Cruise's scorched body still inside. The plane never got off the ground, since Tom is just a movie star, who doesn't actually know how to fly a fighter jet. Plus, he was too short to see over the dash anyway.

Shredder single handedly takes out all ten of the Hammer Bros.; but his daughter Karai does not do as well against Robot Sonic who spin attacks her in half despite the resistance from her armor.

Casey Jones is spitting some serious game at AOC while they race around town on the Ducatti; but she is pretending not to like him because he is white. The Ninja Turtles, like many youthful, energetic peeps are having a very serious conversation with Bernie inside The Party Wagon. They are totally sold on Socialism, until six very large proletariat members in the form of Devastator smash the Party Wagon and send its five riders flying in different directions.

The Joker and Harley, the unofficial leaders of the squad, hide out in a back alley as they watch their teammates conduct their always crazy, but masterful plan of attack. They wait for the right moment to jump in; but are confronted by The Hernandez Mandolorians. Adam pulls his blaster rifle; but Joker spins out of the way and pulls out his acid, spraying flower. He takes aim at Jackson; but his Dad and Uncle Eric leap out in front taking the brunt of the Joker serum. As Adam and Eric lay on the ground with an eternally creepy Joker smile on their face, Kate pulls out her dual blaster pistols in a rage and does what Batman could never bring himself to do. She pumps The Joker full of blaster bolts, while Jackson uses his sword constructed from Garage Door parts to finish off Harley.

Bernie grabs his Hammer and Sickle, while the Ninja Turtle form up behind him, ninja weapons in hand. Casey Jones and AOC leap off their crotch rocket to join the fight, while Hamato Yoshi puts aside his differences with Shredder and Krang as well. They move on the much larger Blaster and surround him; but Blaster ejects his entire clan of tapes who instead surround The Empire. The Socialist Ninjas take down Blaster; but they can't handle all his Cassettes. Each Ninja manages to take out a Cassette, with Leo and Raph each taking out two and Shredder taking out the mini Gestalt Slam Dance; but superior numbers and superior firepower win out, despite a fantastic last stand from the martial arts experts.

Week 2: The Homo-Friendly Turds Who are Short vs Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The Homo-Friendly Turds Who are Short: Yoda (w/ a White Lantern Ring and 5th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Green Lantern #1A (final death), The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Dead End, & Dragstrip (merge to form Menasor), Black Lantern Batman (final death), Batgirl and The Huntress & Tyrion Lannister (w/ the 1st Ring of the Dwarf Lords) in Conner's Over-priced Mazda, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman (w/ a blue lantern ring), Talia, Zombie Green Lantern
Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins: Reverse-Flash, Quicksilver, Brainiac in Brainiac's Skull Ship, Dr. Manhattan, R2D2 in Jedi Starfighter, Dark Nitties in Ducati, James Bond in Ducati,  Zombie #7-8
Yoda, Green Lantern #1A and Black Lanturn Batman enter the city, with Yoda sensing the presence of two fast-moving objects, Though they could not hear any engines. Suddenly Green Lantern #1A is caught between the two fists of Reverse Flash and Quicksilver, his head exploding from the double impact. Before he can bolt away Quicksilver finds several batarangs lodged into his chest, before falling dead.  Still Sensing another being Yoda warns Batman, he can sense a larger power approaching. Soon the Stunticons roll in. Yoda directs them to form into the Menasor as they see a large skull approaching.
-Nitties, Bond, and R2D2 are in pursuit of Conner’s Over-priced Mazda. Unfortunately for Batgirl, The Huntress, and Tyrion the Mazda has no Air Conditioning so the windows have to be rolled down, rendering them deaf. They cannot call for back up and soon Nitties and Bond are right along their sides. Tyrion launches a crossbow bolt directly into the eyes of Nitties, sending his body and his bike into a post, causing a massive explosion, leaving absolutely nothing to return to his family. Bond executes the Huntress, with the golden gun, as she struggles to pull up her ax, as the Mazda is very low profile. Batgirl, not caring for the Mazda any longer, tries to push Bond, but he instead jumps onto the car and begins to empty his mag into the roof. Tyrion, ax in hand, climbs out of the windshield to meet Bond in battle. Bond, having emptied his pistol, charges the imp. With a slash, 007 is missing his legs from the knee down. The Blood pouring into the Mazda causes Batgirl to crash. R2 detecting no allies, sends a laser cannon barrage, finishing off any survivors. But suddenly the ship takes a heavy hit, and not a second later, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman is holding the droids beaten shell, as he shreds many tears. Zombie Green Lantern groans as he strokes the defeated Saiyans back in an act of comfort. Unfortunately, it has just made him super horny. Conner then begins to have intercourse with the remains of the Mazda, slowly burning to death, no willpower to stop himself.
-Both teams have grouped up as the sun begins to set. The Turds, who are short and Homo-friendly, all still feel uneasy, like someone is lingering about. Quickly they begin to hear cries for help, as the turn to see a blue glow fade, as Talia is being feasted upon by two zombies. The two zombies are crushed but not in time to save Talia. Suddenly several missiles land around them and begin to spew out radiation. A blue glow fades in as Dr. Manhatten deatomizes Zombie Green Lantern. Batman struggling to maintain his senses attempts attacks at the Dr. who dodges well. The Menasor is seen charging forward at the floating skull. Dodging laser fire, they land several hits on the arms, disabling many of the ship’s systems. Reverse Flash thinking that Yoda is struggling to sense anything in the radiation goes in for an attack. Yoda meditating, sends his lightsaber directly into the speedster. The Stunticons, no longer being able to tolerate each other, begin to act out individually. Brainiac seeing an opening lands several blows, destroying Dead End, Break Down, and Motor Master. Yoda, jumping from the radiation to a nearby rooftop, drags the damaged skull into the ground. Wildrider and Dragstrip, begin a beat down on the Skull. But then a large beam splits the bots in two as Brainiac jumps from the wreck.
-Yoda and Brainiac stand a distance from each other. The Jedi Master remaining calm as the machine man seemed to be having delusions. Brainiac sends a laser beam at the green hermit, who deflects it back sending Brainiac back into the wreckage. Yoda hurries to help Black Lantern Batman, as he can sense the nearby battle. He arrives to see Batman on the defense, with that heat coming from Dr. Manhatten. Sensing Yoda, The Dr. knows he must finish Batman quickly, But before he can land the final blow, The Hermit is ready. In a blur, the hermit begins to move so quickly the Dr. struggles to effectively evade all of batman’s strikes. Eventually finding more and more hits landing on the Dr. Yoda makes a killing blow. The Dark Dark Knight, with the tuckered hermit on his back, vanish into the night victorious.

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Week 2 Consortium:

George Washington's House Elves are: Superman, Godzilla, T-1000, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill (missing one leg), Slugfest, Autoscout #1, & Autoscout #2, & Vampire #1-2 (Both with 4 Deaths.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is: Superboy, Doomsday, King Ghodira, 4 Decepticons, 5 Transformers (all with 4 deaths), Spider Miles, 1 Allosaurus, & 2 T-Rex.

Week 2 Democracy: The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Striders of Rohan are HYDRA Soldier #1-2 in an AT-AT, HYDRA Soldier #3-4 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #5-6 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #7-8 in an AT-ST, HYDRA Soldier #9-10 in an AT-ST, Admiral William Kelley in a F-18, Earth 2 Batman in the O.G. Batmobile, Earth 2 Catwoman, The Comedian, Black Flash, King Kong, Magneto, Robert Downey Jr. in Ferrari F-40, & Goblin #7-9.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, Quinn, Mega Man X, Khal Drogo, Mike Tyson (Punch Out), & Agent of SHIELD #1-3.

Season XI Week 1: House Elves vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The House Elves are: Superman, Everest from Paw Patrol, and White Walkers #1-6.

The Assassins are: Brainiac in his Skull Ship, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, White Lantern Zach Houslander, Stan Lee, and Zombies #3-7.

Superman and Everest were hanging out at the Fortress of Solitude, minding their own business and eating delicious clam chowder out of a 10 gallon hat. In the background, six White Walkers were having a break dancing competition, getting totally funky as they're known to do. "Mmm, this sure is a hearty chowder" said Superman. "Bark or whatever" said Everest. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Yes, hello, who's there?"

"Hey guys, it's us, the Assassins. We're here to kill you on your own turf, can we come in?"

"Well sure, I guess, but I don't think you guys will be able to kill me, especially not here, in my Fortress of Solitude."

The door swings open and White Lantern Zach comes bursting in, plowing through the White Walkers who were just trying to enjoy their hip-hop breaks.

"Oh come on now that wasn't a nice thing to do, they hadn't even started yet." Superman wagged a finger in disapproval as Red Lantern Jeff rushed him, only to fatally collide with Superman's outstretched fist.

Braniac's Skull Ship ripped the roof off the fortress, and his booming voice echoed off the slick walls. "Hey Superman it's me, Braniac, I know the rest of my team was no match but I've got just the thing to beat you!"

"Is it those missiles with the red sun radiation mentioned in the wiki? Because you already did that once, I'm obviously not going to fall for it again."

"Well... actually, yes it was the missiles. Wait, wait, what do you mean 'mentioned in the wiki'? Isn't that a little... meta?"

"Hm... you know what, that's a good point. I had a suspicion that things were amiss when I was eating soup from a hat with a dog. This just about confirms it, I'm gonna go do some investigative journalism."

Superman runs to his in-house phonebooth and changes in to his Clark Kent disguise before flying off to my office. He arrived at the shack and walked up to the door, embellished with a rough piece of half-inch ply reading "Daveatu's Fortress of Ineptitude." He knocked gently and politely. No response. A second time he knocked, this time in a fun rhythmic pattern. Still nothing. He tried knocking a bit harder, but his super strength was too much for the sloppy craftsmanship of the entrance, and the hinges fell right out of the wall.

"Uh- how unexpected! My normal human strength has accidentally dislodged this faulty door! I'll just... proceed inside, then."

Clark walked through the empty foyer and followed a muffled clicking sound to a room full of writers. Well, technically, a room full of chimpanzees chained to typewriters. Furiously they smashed at the keys, seemingly unaware of Superman's presence. When one would slow down and become distracted, a burst of white powder would spray from their typewriter, stimulating them back up to speed in a flash. Warily he proceeded to the back of the room, to a small door labeled "Big Boss Man".

After his last knocking mishap, I swung the door open before he could wreck it. I was wearing a rubber clown nose. "Yeah, come in. Need something?"

"Yes, hello. My name is Clark Kent, I'm a reporter for the Daily Planet. You're Daveatu the Watcher, correct?"

"No, see the nose? I'm The Jokey Man, hoo-hoo-ha."

"Is... something wrong?"

"Yeah, yeah, do me a quick favor Clark. Could you take off your glasses?"

He froze for just a moment, nodded, and removed his spectacles. I faked a gasp.

"Oh my god, wait a minute, you're Superman! Oh man, whoa! What a huge unexpected twist, I never would have guessed through your amazing disguise. I just assumed all journalists were built like semi-trucks. So, why are you here? Actually, before you answer that, just kidding. I brought you here. I'm writing this, right now even. And you know that, because that's also what I'm writing. I'm like Mr. Mxyzptlk but somehow even shorter, I can do whatever."

"Alright, then why AM I here?"

"Well, I mean, you're Superman right? The setting is your Fortress of Solitude. You already won, what was I gonna do, just write down the single line 'The Assassins showed up and Superman boffed them all to death at lightspeed with his mighty meat dong'? Well I'd look like a fool then, wouldn't I?" I honked my rubber nose.

"Well of course that wouldn't look too interesting on paper, but come on, you never know what could happen. Braniac is pretty resourceful right? And there were a couple Lanterns, you of all people know not to underestimate the Lantern Corps."

"Yeah, Braniac is great, but here's the thing: You are the instant win. Yeah, sometimes you die, sometimes in pretty goofy ways! But on average, you're the trump card, especially with homefield advantage."

Superman looked puzzled, some combination of flattered and indignant. "But there are plenty of other character who can match my strength. Even some who exceed it! I may be iconic but I'm not omnipotent."

"You know what, good point, very good point. Let me find a very good rebuttal." I shuffled through the cluttered mess of loose files and papers on my desk. "Oh, here, this will do. Check this out." I summoned Saitama from One-Punch Man to my office. His blank expression had only a hint of curiosity at this unexpected teleportation. Before he could ask, I flicked a finger to fling him toward Superman. He burst into a fine mist on contact.

"What have you done?! Who was that poor man, how could you do this?"

"Oh that was One-Punch Man. You know why they call him that? He can defeat just about any enemy in a single punch. Just about, not always, but you'd think somebody that strong could at least hold their own against you, right?"

"Not if you write him in and pop him like a grape in an instant!"

"Exactly my point, Kal. See, you little green army men are all assigned point values. You're pretty high, friend, pretty high indeed. That guy? Not even close. He's barely worth more than two Ron Popeils."

"Why? This doesn't make sense." He said in pre-determined agreement.

"Well obviously because he doesn't come with enough nostalgia. He's new, who's got time to give consideration to new things? Hey, here's one you actually might know." I honked my nose again and summoned 'The Batman Who Laughs' off my roster. Batman, in a rainbow wig and big floppy shoes, fell to the floor cackling hysterically.

"Is that Batman? What have you done to him?!"

"No, this is 'The Batman Who Laughs'. Sound familiar?"

"What? No, Earth-22's Bruce is locked in the dungeon at the Hall of Justice. Is this a joke?"

"Ha! Hey, sure looks that way doesn't it? No, no, this isn't the Batman Who Laughs of the DC universe! This one is from the '?' universe! I dunno, this guy must have been the first result when you Google 'The Batman Who Laughs.' C'est la vie." I shriveled the Batclown like a raisin and popped him in my mouth. Tasted funny. "It gets even better though, what if I decided I DON'T want you to be the end-all be-all of the match?"

"Alright, what if?"

I clapped my hands together and the band Ween appeared in a circle around the Man of Steel. Dean Ween, sweating profusely, gazed around the room with pupils the size of hubcaps. "Holy s*** man, there's no way this was acid. This is too f***ing much dude."

"Nah guys, it's acid, really good acid. I'm your spirit guide, an emissary of Boognish. He said you gotta beat Superman's ass to achieve enlightenment or whatever. Go on, do it."

Superman arched his brow. "No offense, but how would some D-list band stand a chance against- Oh, ow, oh God! Their musical instruments are so strong, why does this hurt so bad?" The band tore Superman apart in an animal frenzy, leaving a smashed pile of meat and bones before I sent them Back to Basom. "It's rewind time" I said with yet another honk of my nose, and Superman reformed into his un-smashed glory.

"Do you see the point I'm making here, Supes? We have the power, there are no rules, and we just pick whichever team we want to win for whatever reason. If you don't like it you can rip me a new one in the comments section below. Now go kill the robot octopus and the dude with the white power."

"Yes sir, Daveatu sir", Superman said like a good cardboard cutout.

Season 11, Week 1: Midgets vs Striders

The Midgets are: Yoda (w/ white lantern ring), Link.

Striders are: The Incredibles (Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack Jack, Fro-zone), Samwise Gamgee (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), Bilbo Baggins, Xenomorph #15 (4 deaths), Fedayeen #1.

Link starts the attack since he is still full health and does a spin move and throws his sword. The sword finds Mr. Bilbo who was huddled off to the side with Sam trying to stay warm and discussing how very much they dislike adventures such as this. Xenomorph #15 pounces on Link before his sword can return and eats his face with its little face that’s inside his mouth. The Xenomorph is then sent to the graveyard as Yoda lands on his head and drives the lightsaber through his skull. Fro-zone shoots a blast of frozen energy that Yoda easily avoids as he jumps off the dead alien. Yoda then force pushes Fro-zone off a nearby ice cliff to his death. Elastigirl tries to restrain Yoda while Dash runs along the ceiling and walls of the ice cave and starts dropping icicles down. The icicles accidently kill Fedayeen #1 in the incident and as Yoda breaks free from Elastigirl, he uses the force to catch some of the falling ice and send it toward her and Violet killing them both. Mr Incredible, drunk with bloodlust after the death of his wife and daughter, charges the tiny jedi into a wall and dazes him. Before Yoda can lift his ring or lightsaber, he is restricted by the Blue Lantern Ring of Samwise Gamgee who, with frozen tears still stinging his cheeks, musters all the courage in his tiny hobbit heart to hold Yoda just long enough for Mr. Incredible to deliver a knock out punch to the skull as Jack Jack sets the unconscious Yoda on fire, giving him a proper Jedi burial.

Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. The Empire

Affirmative Action Popeye's is (Earth 2) Superman, The Tazmanian Devil, and Sentinel #9.

The Empire is Black Lantern Superman, Bernie Sanders (w/ The Hammer (and Sickle) Bros. Suit), & Bronze Dragon #1-4.

E2 Superman and Taz sit nestled inside the Crystal Palace known as The Fortress of Solitude, while their Sentinel circles the outside perimeter as a means of defense. The Popeye's crew are setting up for a huge party with an elite group of guests expected to come. A convention if you will; but Bernie and his friends aren't invited. Outside, The Empire mounts their offensive, despite being unsure if they can penetrate the walls of the Fortress that only the true Superman seems able to open. The Bernie Bro. in his new suit, hammer and sickle at his waist is still formulating his plan to get inside. The four Bronze Dragons await the symbol of solidarity from their comrade and Senator. They will move first in an attempt to bust open a path for their leader and his mighty Black Lantern bodyguard. BL Supes has been feeling the Bern for some time and in many ways has become the embodiment of Bernie's message and popular support. The power behind the Populist. The muscle behind the Manifesto. Bernie slams his hammer and sickle together to spark the attack and calls the four bronze dragons out by name: “On Harris, on Booker, on Warren, and Gabbard”!! Bernie yells as they move towards the Fortress.

The four mystical, metallic dragons to better suit the setting, morph from their winged forms and take the shape of massive Russian Yeti that Premier Putin has often spoke of. Bernie and BL Supes hang back as the dragons attack; and watch in horror as their plans to overtake the Party are dashed. Sentinel #9 Blooms bergs of electricity to slow them down; but Bernie's acolytes make short work of the initial defense and destroy the mechanical monstrosity. It is the defensive counter-measures of the Fortress itself that take out Booker first, then Kamala, and finally Warren as Bernie sits back unable to help them. It is hard to see if Gabbard was destroyed or not by the ecological machine laced with billions of dollars worth of crystal; but she disappeared from sight nonetheless.

BL Supes and Bernie hang out outside the Fortress in a Safe Space while they attempt to formulate their second run at the powerful White House of the Superman in front of them. BL Supes begins having his doubts about the possibility of victory; so much so that he asks his beloved leader: “Do you even understand how Capitalism works”??

Bernie calmly looks at his prized warrior and answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

For four long days, days that seem like years Bernie and his powerful follower wait outside the Fortress of Solitude amid constant attacks from the machine that protects the deepest darkest secrets of Krypton. They simply can't figure out a way to get inside. Finally, after frustration has set in fully, Bernie snaps and aggressively yells to his teammate: “You were once Superman!! You were once a part of what goes on behind these walls!! Have you no answer to it's secrets?? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THE FORTRESS WORKS”?!!?

With that question still hanging from the lips of his comrade, something clicks in the mind of BL Superman. A light goes off in his black lit brain and he answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

Immediately after saying these words, BL Supes looks to a little known weak spot in the foundation of the Fortress and begins bombarding it with darkened heat vision, Black Lantern energy, and a flurry of punches and kicks that could level buildings as strong as the Pentagon without any outside interference. A hole is finally punched through the Fortress large enough for the two Empire members to climb through, but they are met with resistance as soon as they enter the building. Despite beginning this battle with a group of “delegated” teammates that outnumbered the Affirmative Action crew, once they crossed into the Halls of the Fortress they are evenly matched two on two.

The two Supermen instantly square off in a Becks style pitched battle. BL Supes should have a bit of an advantage considering that a black lantern's light cannot be extinguished without the power of two separate lantern rings; but this is E2 Superman's house; it's his party and he can change the rules if he wants to.

On the other side of the wide, expanse room Bernie and Taz square off. The Tazmanian Devil moves wildly at Bernie in an attempt to assassinate the politician; but Bernie doesn't have a wife or sister to hide behind. He instead moves aggressively towards Taz, stunning him by throwing two hammers at the face of the snow covered white devil that so frequently attempts to quell the spirit of the working man. Bernie then uses his sickle to sweep the legs out from under his opponent and drives yet another hammer into the eyeball of Taz to finish him off. Bernie searches for his remaining teammate and looks to his right, for he he knows in his heart that nobody is to the Left of him. He sees the battle between the Supermen taking place, but sees no way into the middle of the fight without risking life and limb.

The two Supermen are completely and utterly, evenly matched in every way. Incalculable strength meeting immeasurable durability with every punch. Freeze breath and heat vision prove to have very little power against freeze breath and heat vision as most would anticipate. BL Supes takes a calculated risk, knowing that by the rules of DC Comics he should be immune to death from the non-ring wielding Superman even if his opponent is retaining more than 100% of his regular power in their current setting. BL Supes moves in fast for the kill towards the jugular vein of E2 Supes, leaving himself open to attack; but E2 Supes changes the rules that dictate the setting and triggers the change in atmosphere of his crystal home. Green and Yellow lights shine from the ceiling, thrusting Oan and Qwardian power harnessed from the Green and Yellow Lantern Corps of Krypton, decimating the power aura of BL Supes and leaving him open for an insanely powerful double-fisted punch from E2 Supes that breaks the neck of the once death-energy resurrected Earth 1 version of himself.

Bernie stands alone against the true power that fuels the machine that has concentrated all its power on his destruction. Bernie faces his opponent head on. Hammer in one hand, sickle in the other and the power of the Proletariat emanating from every cell in his body. E2 Supes laughs at the sight of his final opponent. “The United States will never be a Socialist country” The patriotic believer in truth, justice, and the American way utters. He continues: “You are in my arena now Sanders. No Bernie Bros to protect you, no popular vote to be had, just a good old-fashioned fight. Although, I am unarmed and I must admit that I noticed you handle your pair of weapons well. I'm glad I am not in NEED of such primitive tools”.

Bernie smirks and says: “Well, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”, as he rushes at the Man of Steel with every bit of energy he can muster. Bernie lands his first hammer attack; but the sickle is smacked from his hands with such force that Bernie is knocked to the ground as well. Kal L, with a twinge of sadness on his face says: “You gave it a Hell of a run; but we were never gonna let you win”....

Superman then ends the movement altogether by conjuring and directing such an intense bit of heat vision at his opponent, that not even Senator Sanders could feel the Bern.

Dinomites VS. Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Dinomites: Ice w/ a Star Sapphire Ring, Jango Fett, Larry Koopa w/ Ice Flower

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Batman, Robin, Alfred, Catwoman and Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1

Ice and Larry Koopa skate into the Fortress of Solitude while Jango Fett comes flying in  only to notice that Batman, Robin, Catwoman, a SHIELD Agent and for some reason a Butler are in the Fortress of Solitude.

Batman doesn’t recognize the people who enter so he throws a Batarang at Larry Koopa temporarily disabling him. Ice then shoots an ice blast at the SHIELD agent and Alfred thus freezing them solid and then Jango Fett shoots them with his blaster, blowing them into a million pieces. 

Robin then starts to throw a volley of Birdarangs at Jango Fett, but Jango being a master at flight with his Jetpack dodges all of the Birdarangs easily and shoots Robin with his Shrapnel Blast Missile that blows Robin to bits. What Jango Fett had not known was that the Birdarangs that Robin threw were stuck to the wall behind Jango and they were explosive with a delayed timer on them. They blow up right after Jango kills Robin and causes his Jet Pack to malfunction making him fly all over the room like when you let the air out of a balloon and eventually he flies into a wall where the Jetpack blows up and kills him.

Concurrent with Jango Fett and Robin battling, Ice and Catwoman were also battling. Ice uses her abilities to skate all over the Fortress and shooting ice blasts at Catwoman at the same time, but Catwoman is too quick and agile to be hit by the blasts. So Ice creates a snowstorm inside the Fortress, she continues to shoot ice blasts at Catwoman and is finally able to hit Catwoman, as the floor was icy causing Catwoman to slip and being hit by a blast. Catwoman is now frozen solid. 

While Ice and Catwoman are fighting Batman uses his grappling hook to get high up in the ceiling waiting for the right time to strike against Ice as she skates all up and down the Fortress. After Ice is victorious against Catwoman she takes a second to breathe at the top of an Ice wave she had used to skate on. Batman then swoops down and Glide Kicks Ice off her wave and makes her fall about 50 ft on top of the Frozen Catwoman which shatters Catwoman into pieces. Ice also dies from the fall as she fell head first onto Catwoman thus causing Ice to break her neck and die.

Batman takes a deep breath and sighs thinking he’s victorious but all of a sudden he’s been frozen out of nowhere… 

Larry Koopa had awoken from the Batarang he was hit by earlier and had frozen Batman from behind with his Ice Flower, the Koopaling then pushes the frozen Batman out of the Fortress into a nearby abyss. 

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

Consortium Week 1:

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Magic Johnson, Spider Miles, The Punisher (in a Vibranium Suit), 6 Jedi Knights, 4 Decepticons, and 4 Dwarves.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Supergirl, Captain Pike and Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, and Phibian #1-4.

Week 1 Democracy Match

TEAM Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids.

TEAM is Cyborg Superman, Sith Acolyte John Zacharski (w/ Red Lightsaber), President John Adams, and Cybertronian Guardian #2.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is Zombie Cyborg Superman, Soka, and Snow Trooper #2.

Season XI Preseason: TEAM vs. Whatever We're Calling The Midgets This Season

TEAM is: Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Ron Popeil, Morton Downey Jr, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Wheelie, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, and Dr. Wily.

The Midgets are: Link, Atrocitus, Kobe Bryant, Duncan Idaho, Green Lantern #1A, Don Rickles, Jimmy Olsen in a Tanooki Suit, Smurf #10, Ewok #10, and Zombie Predator.


It was a decidedly average day in Bob's humble hamburger restaurant. A simple man, he wished only to prepare delicious sandwiches with his loving wife and children. The heavy grease smell in the air was a warm comfort to Bob as he whipped up the burger of the day, the "Aioli Diver". They hadn't been selling well, turns out people weren't lining up to try his creative seaweed aioli. With his newest recipe crafted, he walked it out to the customer.

"Alright, here's your 'Aioli Diver', that'll be... wait, aren't you uh, Ron Popeil?"

"Why, yes I am, Bob! Inventor of the Pocket Fisherman, but I'll bet you're more of a Whip-O-Matic fan yourself, aren't you?"

"Uh... sure, I usually just use an electric mixer if I'm gonna be doing any whipping, but-"

"Electric mixer?! Oh, but you're losing so much time with those old things. And think of the money you could be saving on electricity, Bob!"

"Okay, yeah, but I'm pretty sure-"

"What if I told you I could sell you not one, but TWO Whip-O-Matics for just $10.98, the original price of a single Whip-O-Matic? They're selling faster than the delicious hotcakes they produce! I wouldn't let this one pass you by!"

"RON, OKAY. I get it, the Whip-O-Matic sounds great. But seriously, aren't you dead? Okay, this can't be real. I shouldn't have trusted Teddy to fix that broken gas line after the match against the Dino... oh, wait, no, NO! Ron, PLEASE tell me this isn't another Fantasy Fantasy League match."

As the unfortunate truth dawned on the beefmonger, a frantic Pack of old crooners burst through the door, covered in blood. Frank Sinatra shook around a disembodied leg. "Aw, Ron, this ain't good! They're hot on our trail, look what they did to Sammy!" He gestured the leg meaningfully.

"Oh, this isn't good, did you try using the-"

"We USED the Pocket Fisherman, Ron, it was no good! The old scientist and the worm fella were holding them off, but they're dyin' out there! The Midgets got some big red guy who's breaking more bones than I did in the 'family business'! What are you doing in here?!"

"Well, I was just trying to talk to my new friend Bob about some great kitchen innovations to increase his pro-"

At that moment, a bright red helicopter of solid light smashed through the ceiling to the restaurant, killing everyone inside on impact. Atrocitus sifted through the rubble as Zombie Predator looked on, and from the wreckage he pulled up a shattered Kobe Bryant.

"YOU HAVE REDEEMED YOURSELF, BASKETBALL MAN!"

S11 Preseason: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs. Barkley’s Turrible Decisions

Affirmative Action Popeyes are: Beachhead,  Road Block,  Gung Ho, Lt. Flint,  John Rambo, Sailor Moon

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are: Khal Drogo, The Batman who Laughs, All-Might, Sonja Blade, Mega Man X

“So this is the place” said Gung Ho outloud to no one in particular as the Popeyes gather outside the entrance of Bob’s Burgers.

“AAAHHHHH!!” screams Sailor Moon as John Rambo literally tears her in half for no reason and leaves her destroyed corpse on the sidewalk. 

Beachhead kicks in the door and the Popeyes rush in. They interrupt Khal Drogo telling jokes in Dothraki that no one quite understood but The Batman Who Laughs seemed to still be enjoying it as he sits at the counter trying to sip on his coffee but cannot catch his breath during his gasps of laughter. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Road Block and Gung Ho start firing shots around the room and shoot Sonja Blade in the head. 

“Hahahahaha!”

All-Might rush the pair and pick them both up and crush their skulls together. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Mega Man X blasts Beachhead with a shot from his blaster and Lt. Flint Returns the favor with a bullet of his own just before Khal Drogo’s sword finds its mark in his chest.

“Hahahahaha!”

All-Might had rushed over and grabbed Rambo but was unable to squeeze him to death as his head was filled with lead from Rambo’s machine gun. 

“Hahahahaha!”

On one knee trying to catch his breath, Rambo watches as Drogo removes his blade from Flint’s chest and marches toward him. As Rambo raises his gun to fire, Drogo chops the arms off of Rambo. 

“Hahahahaha!”

Rambo stares helplessly at his stumpy arms as the blood pours into his lap. A shimmer dances over the liquid and he slowly glances up.

“Hahahahaha!”

 The sunlight reflecting off Drogo’s sword is the final fleeting image he sees.

“Hahahahaha!” Batman continues to howl with laughter at the counter as Drogo stares back at his teammate annoyed. 

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Chuck Norris, Taskmaster (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Punisher (in a Vibranium Suit), 11 Jedi Knights, & 7 Dwarves.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids is Firelord Ozai, Mike Tyson, Soka, Suki, Ty Lee, Jon Snow, & Fire Bros. #10.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

The Striders of Rohan are John Wick, Hell Boy, Agent 47, Frozone, Gollum, & Goblin #5 & 6.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are The Inquisitor, Arya Stark, Red X, & Lara Croft

George Washington's House Elves Vs. Two Hungry Dino-Mites w/ Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight

George Washington's House Elves are Bob, Linda, Tina, Jean, & Louise w/ Teddy, Wizard, Warrior, Valkyrie, & Elf, Dick Tracey, Hannibal Lectur, Janet Reno (w/ wooden armor), John Schlade, Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Harry & Meghan w/ Archie, Winston Churchill, & Dothraki #1 w/ his Horse.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites w/ Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Chirrut Imwe, Baze Malbus, Casssian Andor, K-2SO, Bo Schembechler, Jim Harbough, George Bailey, Sam Wainwright, Coruscant Underworld Police (CUP), Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, & Tre' Cool, & Rebel Soldier #5-7.

The family who runs the small town favorite restaurant Bob's Burger has had quite a day, but they relax afterwards as a family.

Linda: Wow Bob, that really was quite a day.

Bob: Yeah, hope this doesn't become a regular thing on Sundays; but at least business was good. It seems like everybody paid their checks before all the carnage happened.

Linda: Yeah Bob, it was crazy. At least the kids are safe.

Bob: Wish I could say the same for our new teammates.

Linda: Looks like all the bills were accounted for, except for that LGBT Couple that sat at the end of the counter. I think their names were Baze and Chirrut.

Bob: No, they didn't eat anything. I think they said they were trying to be Vegans or something.

Linda: I thought they were trying to be Jedis.

Bob: Vegans, Jedis, I think that's the same thing isn't it??

Louise: Those aren't the same thing Dad.

Bob: Either way, they didn't eat anything. Just took up a seat and drank water before that Wizard and his three buddies with the Renaissance Festival costumes came in and murdered them. Which was pretty awkward; but pretty good from a cash flow perspective if I'm gonna be honest.

Linda: Well Bob, let's not forget that those Vegans did kill that Dothraki guy, even though he was all sad, crying in his milkshake after his teammate Hannibal ate his horse.

Jean: They weren't Vegans, they were Jedis..... Sort of.

Bob: To be fair, the rest of the team did say that eating that horse was far better than what Epstein and the Prince were going to do with it.

Linda: It did bother me that Dr. Lectur brought in his own outside food. I really thought you were going to say something to him Bob. It's why I wouldn't give him free refills on his Sprite. Not to mention that I don't want people thinking horseburgers are something we serve here. Word gets out and people start to talk.

Bob: I know Linda. You're right. I was going to say something; but I was so busy serving Coach Bo & Coach Jim burgers for their eating contest that the time got away from me.

Tina: It wasn't much of a contest when Bo won 9 to 3; but nobody seems to care about that.

Bob: But, you are right Linda. If I would have kicked Dr. Lectur out earlier than he wouldn't have been able to start eating Bo & Jim and they would have ordered even more burgers.

Linda: Oh well Bob, ya live and ya learn. I will say, that it sure was nice having live music in here for the first time ever. Green Day sounded great and it sure did bring in a lot of customers. It's too bad this ended up being their last show, considering that the Gauntlet guys ended up killing all three of them. But then again Green Day's mosh pit was pretty deadly. I can't say I was too bummed to see Lectur trampled, but that John Schlade seemed like a nice, Christian, young man.

Bob: Packed is an understatement Linda. I didn't think our place was ever going to clear out. Only that Cassian fellow is still here finishing his dinner.

Louise: The blue Warrior was scary.

Bob: Yeah. There were some scary folk about here. Glad that Imperial robot killed all those mythology types, couldn't believe he self-destructed in the process. But having all that royalty in here was really weird. I guess as soon as they fall out of favor over in the U.K. They just end up filtering in to places like this. That Meghan chick doesn't seem very loyal either. She kept flirting with that George Bailey fellow; but he refused to help her down from the stool. I was happy, she was a pretty arrogant gal and there was something special about that George Bailey, I felt really rich being his friend. But that wealthy guy, his buddy Sam.... Ugh. My skin still crawls every time I think about him saying Hee Haw. Weird that George and Sam were just collateral damage when Sir Winston Churchill turned on his own team and started yelling “God Save the Queen” while he gunned down Harry, Meghan, Archie, & Andrew. Guess he thought that he was the only true Englishman in here. And it took Winston so long to find that Epstein guy hiding behind the counter. That dude sure didn't want to die. I thought it was a bit much when Ol' Winston yanked his belt off and strangled the dude. It was a rough exchange; but Epstein certainly wasn't going to kill himself. And then those Rebel Soldiers came after Churchill next. Those Rebels just kept walking right towards him, like they were used to fighting people with terrible aim or something??...?? Winston just picked them off one by one.

Linda: But poor Teddy I can't stop thinking about. I can't believe he is gone. What was wrong with that Coruscant Underworld Policeman anyway?? I can't believe he accused our Teddy of selling loose deathsticks and then strangled him to death right in front of those cell phone cameras. Dick Tracey sure took care of him though. He sure does dislike corrupt cops. Detective Tracey sure is one o f the good ones. I can't believe our last customer Captain Cassian gunned Dick and Sir Winston down from behind like that; but I guess this is a deathmatch after all.

Bob: That fight between him and Attorney General Reno in her wooden armor was quite a sight to see though. Pretty random since the only people who would even understand that silly wooden armor reference aren't even in the FFL anymore. I guess they didn't have laser blasters in mind when they designed that armor. Probably worked just fine back in Waco though.

Linda: It's kind of scary that he is still here Bob. Cassian, I mean. He seems like a nice guy; but him and us being alive is probably the only reason the match hasn't ended yet. The kids and I are going to hang back; why don't you go and talk to him and see if we can end this terrible match?? I hope he doesn't murder you, Bob.

Bob: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.



Bob: Umm, Hello Captain Andor, how was your meal?? That's a really nice blaster you have on the counter. Can I get you anything else besides the check??

Cassian: No, thanks Bob. The burger was delicious. I'm really sorry I'm going to have to shoot you and your family now; but war does terrible things to people. I really can't tell you how much I enjoyed the food and the quaint atmosphere of your place though.

Bob: Thanks for the compliments Captain Andor. I figured you were going to say something like that. Which is why we poisoned your burger. You didn't really think my family and I weren't going to get at least one kill in our only home court advantage match did you?? You're going to die in about 15 seconds. Your bill comes to $11.47.

Pre-Season Democracy Match: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Empire

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Kingpin, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-girl, Robot Man, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Porky Pig, John Bennett & Ted, & Zombie #3-9.

The Empire is The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, & Raphael, w/ Casey Jones, Pinhead, Crash Bandicoot, & Knuckles.

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