S12 W7 - C Bark vs The Short Ones

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are: Nurgle The Plague Lord, Ludwig Von Koopa, Mike Tyson (last life), Khal Drogo, All Might, Crimmel, Jill Stein, Shinobi and his dog (last lives), Dr. McCoy, Uhura, Data, Scotty, Odo, Nog, Hannukah Harry, Belle and The Beast, Hotspot (last life), Groove (last life), The Vampire Lestat, Shrek (last life), Donkey (last life), Jotaro Kujo, Joseph Joestar, Mohammad Avdol, Jean-Pierre Polnareff, Noriaki Kakyoin, Iggy The Fool, DIO, Oingo, Boingo, Pet Shop, Hol Horse, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Jedi Padawans #4-7

The Midgets are: -Yoda (w/ The White Lantern Ring & Dwarf Ring #5), Chian, Darth Maul (w/ The Orange Lantern Ring & The Darksaber), Tyrrion Lannister (w/ Dwarf Ring #1), The Last Ronin (TMNT), Hermes, The Wendigo, Nightsister Zombie, Talia, Nightsister Initiate, Tracks, Stilgar, Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, Quasar, Sand Bender #1-2, Zombie Hammer Bros.

Jill Stein screamed passionately to the onlookers from her soapbox. She referenced the harsh Tatooine climate as an example of what happens to a planet when you do not take care of climate change early. The crowd erupts in applause when her skull caves in from a dead shot from Zombie Hammer Bro.

Darth Maul with a Darksaber… come on now. He made his way through the Star Trek crew and Crimmell with ease. But Mike Tyson was getting annoyed with all that flipping around and didnt think that’s how a man should fight. But Mike ain’t so bright, While he was able to kill Sith Lord, his hands were riddled with wounds from the horns on his head. Mike survived the fight, but eventually succumbed to heat exhaustion and dehydration as he wandered the desert looking for “Thum bamdays” to put on his cuts.

Khal Drogo who is very much used to the climate attempted to best Stilgar and the Ghola of Duncan Idaho. But the Fremen and the Copy of the Atreides Swordmaster were able to best the Dothraki leader. Shinobi, along with Beast, Shrek and Donkey, were able to defeat the Dune duo in revenge. Shrek and Beast wrestled them to the ground while Donkey kicked their skulls in. The effort was 

Sandbender 1 & 2 rode on the back of Tracks and created a sandstorm from hell that blinded both friend and foe. Several minutes passed, and the sounds of metal smashing against metal, screams of agonizing pain and last cries for help were all that could be heard inside this whirling cyclone of sand. Even if you could manage to open your eyes without them being ripped to shreds, the sand was so thick, you could only see a few feet in front of you. Each combatant waited blindly in the storm, for their date with death.

When the dust settled, Yoda and Tyrrion Lannister stood back to back, with sword and saber drawn, waiting for any remaining signs of movement. Their long shadows cast by the setting suns punctuated the landscape that contained only the corpses of both remaining teams. The bodies lay scattered, slowly being consumed by the sand in the shifting wind.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. TEAM

 Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Grand Master Luke Skywalker, Poggle the Lesser in a Geonosian Starship, Sun Fac in a Geonosian Starship, R2-D2, C-3PO, Indiana Jones, Henry Jones Sr., Ahsoka Tano (Fulcrum), Captain Rex, John Stewart (w/ a blue lantern ring), Black Lantern Dr. Manhattan, The Sentry, Ethan Hunt (w/ a Indigo Lantern Ring), & Orc #49-50.

TEAM is God Emperor Leto II, Leto II, General Grevious, Magnaguard Droid #1-2, Wolverine, Non, Neo, Morg, Jet Li, George Lucas (w/ a Force Saber), Mandalorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez w/ Mandalorians Kate Hernandez, Jackson Hernandez, & Eric Gilson, Mike Geney:  Jedi Knight, & Hammer Bros. #5.

As The God Emperor Leto II quickly takes over the Jundland Wastes territory of Tatooine and TEAM's troops fortify a position all of the way to Anchorhead with perfect military precision, The Assassins remain calm and safe in a small outcropping that Luke had remembered from his childhood that he knew would suit their needs as a base of operations.  As the squad awaits the proper time for attack, some of the AAA Crew begin to converse with one another.  Ethan Hunt approaches the two Orcs who are off by themselves, and says:  "I'm sorry guys, it seems I don't even know your names".

"I Orc #49.  This Orc #50".

"No.  Your real names My Friends".  Says Ethan.

"I Mornock.  This Grimtug.  No one ever asks real names.  We commons.  We Assassins tho.  We here to fight for cause of winning".  Says Orc #49.

The two Orcs never knew how to be actual friends with their teammates and were more than honored when Ethan Hunt even got Luke and Ahsoka to come over and introduce themselves.  The Force Users apologized for having never spoken with the Orcs before, who had assumed that the human-looking creatures of the team hated them the same way mutual, unspoken hatred existed on Middle Earth where they had originated.  Lastly, after hands had been shaken and friendships forged over the looming idea of intense battle upon them; Ethan Hunt noticed Grimtug, the quieter of the two orcs eyeing the shiny ring on his finger.  

Ethan speaks:  "That's my Indigo Ring.  I never have been able to do much with it, other than a little flying around.  Wanna see it"??  Ethan asks as he takes off the ring and hands it to Grimtug.

The Orc's eyes light up and his friend Mornack speaks for his speechless fellow Orc.  "Where we come from, there are rings so powerful that they can dominate entire armies".  

Grimtug attempts to take the ring off of his finger; but he cannot.  Ethan Hunt seems surprised; but not angry as he never much liked the ring.  Ahsoka nods to Luke and Luke says what they are both thinking.  "We Assassins of Acrobatic Ahsoka chose that ring for Ethan; but the ring has chosen you Grimtug.  It will not leave your finger until it serves its purpose and this match comes to an end one way or another".

  "The Ring chose you Grimtug"........  Are the words that keep going in and out of the Orc's mind as they all exit the cave as a unit and the battle begins.....

Both of the two team leaders, Jedi Master Luke and God Emperor Leto rush to the forefront of their squads and lead by example into the fray.  Similar feelings rush through their heads as they begin the charge.  Bittersweet reminiscing is brought into the forefront of their inter-laid thoughts as they move through the dunes of Tatooine at super human speeds.  The two leaders avoid each other; but by no means do they stay away from tough opponents.  The God Emperor senses a vision of a Golden Path similar and almost equal in depth to that of his own deep within the black lantern coated mind of Dr. Manhattan.  The Emperor of the Known Universe must possess all or he possesses nothing when it comes to the knowledge of the universe.  The massive form of Leto leaps from the dunes and swallows Manhattan whole, consuming not just the man but the knowledge as well.  Grand Master Luke rushes in towards the person he senses to be the best melee fighter amongst the TEAMmembers.  Mike Geney ignites his lightsaber with his homeboy Hammer Bros. #5 on his six.  Luke rolls through the two of them quickly and finds himself face to face with another combatant.  "I think you were looking for me Bub".  Wolverine says as he pops his claws with "snikt".  Skywalker uses his gift of prescient foresight to gaze into the scary mind of his opponent and asks him the simple question:  "Shall I call you Logan, Weapon X"??  "No.  WOLVERINE" Wolvie screams as he begins his beserker rage attack on the Jedi Master.  A pitched battle commences where Luke is doubly surprised to see that his lightsaber will not cut through the adamantium claws of Logan, nor were the body hits proving fatal.  The fight rages on for quite some time  before Wolverine goes in for the kill attempting to slice deep into the chest of Luke; but the Jedi uses his superior speed to flip over top of the mutant, landing in the perfect spot to swing his saber at the neck and remove Wolverine of his head.  Luke Force pushes the body and the head far away from each other just in case so as not to risk a healing factor rejoining of the two.

 Morg takes flight and attempts to attack the two larger Geonosian Starfighters which are running a Delta attack pattern in search of sky-worthy TEAMmembers.  The Geonosians begin unloading weaponry onto the former Herald of Galactus; but they find they are doing very little damage.  Morg lands back on the ground and takes on a defensive position, when Luke orders Threepio to radio up to the Geonosians ordering them to eject before their ships take more damage and they can't.  They come back over the radio in their foreign tongue, causing Skywalker to yell at his droid:  "You know I don't speak Geonosian Threepio, WHAT DID THEY SAY"??  Threepio retorts:  "I am afraid Master Luke that they will not be following your order".  "They can't take that guy alone.  WHAT DID THEY SAY"??  The Jedi Master asks again.  "They said sir Luke, the only thing that can hurt that guy in these ships is these ships.....  VIVA Assassins".  Just as Threepio's translation comes through, R2 begins making noise to show his friends that their Geonosian Allies have gone full kamikaze, crashing their ships directly into Morg, causing the Cosmic powerhouse to join them in death.  

 John Stewart already had a mastery of green lantern usage, before he was gifted his blue lantern ring in addition.  With this knowledge he has optimized the power by using the blue ring simply for defensive aura protection and flight, while the blue ring automatically powers up the green ring to 200%.  That is now 200% ring power that he can use as sheer raw energy.  John flies in fast, with his fellow Assassin The Sentry alongside him, when they are met by Neo and Non.  Many wonder if The Sentry with his incalculable strength and power set could possibly take a Kryptonian such as Superman in a one on one fight.  Maybe his upcoming fight with Non will help answer that.  As the two special needs powerhouses square off, we know that Non may not be Superman's equal in all things; but when it comes to strength and durability he is.  Non is able to withstand the flurry of attacks from The Sentry and then with a well aimed brutal hand clap to the head, stuns the Sentry and opens him up to vicious neck breaking assault.  John Stewart is in the beginning stages of his battle with Neo, when he turns his attention to who he believes is the strongest combatant before him.  Stewart unleashes the full power of his green ring on the Kryptonian brute, leaving nothing but a skeleton in his wake.  But Neo does not let that move go unpunished.  He hits Stewart with a flurry of Kung Fu moves that leave both Stewart's rings and his body shattered.  

Adam Hernandez leads his Clan Quartet through the air on their jetpacks, when they drop a handful of thermal detonators over R2 and 3PO turning them into spare parts.  

Henry Jones Jr. & Sr. are taken off guard by the quick moving Jet Li, who knocks them both to the ground.  Jet flips forward delivering a series of moves that result in a broken back and neck of the elderly Henry Jones.  Jet then flips backwards with Indy's stolen whip in his hand.  "You might need this if you want to fight me"  Li exclaims to Jones who is still on the ground.  "Or not".  Indy replies as he pulls out his revolver and plants two .45 Long Colts in Jet Li's chest.  

Ahsoka and Rex move in quickly towards General Grevious; but his two Magnaguard Protectors jump out in front of him.  Rex lays down a suppressing fire on the droids while Ahsoka ignites her dual white sabers and moves in towards Grevious.  Her two lightsabers clash with the General's four as the guards once again leap in and disrupt the skirmish.  Grevious backs off, while Ahsoka slashes one of the guards in half, the other droid moves in to fill the slot, but Rex blasts the droid with a plethora of perfectly aimed shots from his twin blaster pistols.  Grevious then knocks Ahsoka to the ground, while she cuts off one of his arm appendages.  Grevious then moves back towards Capt. Rex delivering a swift metal kick to the heart of the Clone Officer.  Ahsoka sacrifices her two sabers by throwing them at Grevious in an attempt to save Rex; but the wounds were already fatal.  She lay there weaponless as the damaged Grevious moves towards Fulcrum; but Rex with his dying breath tosses his Commander his pistol which Ahsoka catches and uses to blast Grevious in the heart uncivilized Kenobi style.  

George Lucas in his advanced age is having a little trouble with the heavy backpack style of The Force Saber; but is definitely enjoying the power it wields.  He and the teenage Leto II move in towards the two Orcs to do battle; but Ethan Hunt joins the skirmish as well.  Lucas swings his lightsaber with a Form 5 style but Mornack and Grimtug are much more concerned with the swift moving Leto II who moves about the desert with flawless precision.  Leto pulls his crysknife; but before he can use it, Ethan leaps into the fray and kicks it from his hand.  The heir to the throne of Arrakis goes blow for blow with Ethan Hunt for a few rounds; but is able to slit the throat of the IMF Agent before he disappears back into the dunes.  The two orcs dispatch George Lucas before approaching Ethan Hunt saying:  "You save us.  Why you risk yourself for save of two Orcs"??  Hunt answers with his dying breath  "That's what friends are for Mornack and don't forget Grimtug....  The.  Ring.  Chose.  You.".........

With the long and bloody Round One coming to an end, the remaining members of both squads form up and prepare for the final showdown that will bring this match to a close.  

God Emperor Leto II leaps from the dunes and crushes Dr. Jones who realized quickly that whips and six shooters would not be of use here.  Luke does his best to hold back anger as he sees his squad member who looks amazingly like his brother in law go down, while he is being attacked by the much younger version of that worm.  Leto II has incredible foot work in the sand; but the Jedi Master born and raised here on Tatooine moves even faster.  Leto lunges at Luke with his Crysknife but finds a green lightsaber in his chest before he can land his killing blow.  

Ahsoka moves in towards the Mandalorian Clan and is more than a match for them despite their near perfect, in unison fighting style.  It is at this moment, that Neo realizes he must take control of this battle and truly serve his purpose as The Chosen One.  He attempts to join the fight and tip the scales against Ahsoka.  Mornack and Grimtug rush to help the namesake of their team that they have pledged their lives and Orkish honor to fight and die for.  Ahsoka stabs Eric with a lightsaber through the chest that fails to hit his heart, but will seemingly be a killing blow.  Neo delivers a head removing kick to Mornack that sends him to the Graveyard; but moves towards Grimtug:  who initially covers his face in fear; but regains composure and says to himself "the ring chose me" before he throws his Indigo powered scimitar in the direction of Neo, stabbing him through the heart and killing the Chosen One.  Adam then hits Grimtug with his wrist mounted rocket to finally send Orc #50 to the Graveyard, and then instantly finds himself on the other side of vengeance as Ahsoka removes his head with her right hand white lightsaber.  Kate sees what must be done as she presses some buttons on her own suit that activates Jackson's jetpack without his knowledge shooting him quite a ways from the skirmish before she grabs a hold of Ahsoka and ignites her own thermal detonators.  

GM Luke and GE Leto stare one another down as this brutal battle comes to a close.  Who is the true master of this Desert is the unanswerable thought going through their complex hyper-sentient minds as the Grand Master of the Jedi and the God Emperor of the Known Universe reach a mental and cosmic impass becoming one with The Force and one with The Golden Path directly in each other's presence.

Eric Gilson lay on the ground, counting his final breaths as his Mandalorian Armor no longer protects him from imminent death.  His young nephew Jackson flies over and lands next to his uncle who says:  "We are warriors.  Mourn not for the deaths of today for next week we have another battle of equal importance and the next week and the next week.  Fight on.  Never stop.  Fighting.  Never".  

As he fades from this realm, Jackson nods his miniature helmet and simply says:  "This is the Way".   

The Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna Vs. Crack Danks

 The Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna are The Insecticons:  Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, Barricade, Leatherface, Chucky, The Bride of Chucky, The Leprecahun, Silk Spectre, (original) Silk Spectre, Iron Giant, Goliath of Gath, & Captain Cold. 

Crack Danks are Obi Wan Kenobi (w/ a Force Saber), Ben Quadrineros in his Pod, Jolee Fishdo, Supreme Leader Snoke, Venom, Beowolf, Xerxes, Voltron of The Middle Universe, Emma Frost, & Watchdog #1-3.

Well, sorry to say it guys; but Joshatu the Chubby and Arrogant or whatever he likes to go by is Watching TEAM Vs. The Assassins this week which means youze guys is stuck with me.  Who am I you ask??  I'm the one and only Neon Master Pogo comin atcha.  Joshatu's match is gonna be all serious N' crap; so I got no plans to do that kind of stuff here.  Let's have some fun, kill some peeps, and flush this turd so we can get next week rollin.  

This match started out with a bang literally as Barricade and Ben Quadrineros' Podracer just crashed into each other head on causing an explosion the size of.....  Of.....  Well, something really big ya see.  

Chucky and his Bride square off against Supreme Leader Snoke....  This should be good, just let me grab my phone and do some research here.  Let's see...  Wow, a whole lot here on the backstory of Chucky and quite a bit of information for a duo from some silly horror movies.  Now to do some research on Snoke....  Oh yeah, that's right.  Disney never did bother to tell us anything about this new character of theirs that was supposed to be so cool.  Oh well, I guess Chucky and his Ol' Lady take this one.  

Iron Giant may be a giant made out of iron; but Voltron is a Tron with some serious volt.  That might not of made sense; but anyway of all the huge robots in this match, Voltron is the biggest and crushes Iron Giant FO Realz.  

Ahh, the Watchdogs.  How much fun we had with these dudes.  Playing them for Adam every time he forgot to send in his team.  Drafting them for Adam every time he left the draft early.  Making Watchers look up these obscure Captain America goons over and over again.  The good Ol days.  I'm gonna miss these guys, which is why I am going to send them off right and say that they were able to gun down the two Silk Spectres before getting crushed by the Biblical giant Goliath of Gath.  Big flexing starts after Goliath takes down the trio; but Kenobi jump out of his military-meditation trance and slices off the big man's head with his lightsaber.  His regular lightsaber that is.  He left his Force Saber in the locker room after pondering why the Crack Danks Owner Frank gave him this antiquated, bulky backpack thing when he already had a regular lightsaber.  

Jolee Fishdo gets attacked by every person on The Dramatic Kittens of Luna and then by everyone from Crack Danks as well; but he just annoyingly keeps getting more Protection and not losing health.  Until Leatherface fires up his chainsaw and slices right through the Fishy Jedi, making enough force sensitive sushi for everyone to share.  

Venom and The Leprechaun I hear had a really amazing fight.  It was super scary and was a blockbuster smash hit.  I hear a sequel is already in the works.  But when I tried to pop in the VHS Tape about it last Friday, Alex and Kyle started crying all over the Big Benito about how they don't like scary movies.  Not because they are scared of them of course; but because they just don't like them.  So, I guess we will just say both Venom and Leprechaun died and move on.  

The Insecticons and the two Cymeks (Beowolf and Xerxes) are making a huge mess and are severely jacking each other up.  The Insecticons rip into the metal monstrosities and expose their once human brains; but like all Cymeks, they have many counter-measures including EMP capabilities which cause the Decepticon bugs to join them in death after their Cybertronian sparks are blown.  

Emma Frost and Captain Cold fall in love, get married, and move to a place that isn't so terribly hot, like Tatooine is.  They are about to live happily ever after, but eventually they are killed by their crazy villainous children Captain Frost and Emma Cold.  

Leatherface, Chucky, & Bride of Chucky all surround Kenobi to go in for the kill; but before they can make their first move the massive Voltron swings his sword and takes out all three of the Horror movie meanies while Kenobi Force Leaps out of the way.  

Week 7 Democracy: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs Be Gentle Its My Third Time

Popeyes : Mr. Mxyztplk, Tazmanian Devil *4 Death, Destro *4 Death, Gung Ho *4 Death, Shipwreck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer *4 Death, Lady Jane, The Baroness *4 Death, Head Coach, Mary Embery, Rabbit *4 Death, Piglet *4 Death, Reptile, Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, and Decker

Gentle : The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Kratos w/ Red Lantern ring, Beerus god of destruction, Punisher in a vibranium suit, Muhammid, Killa,  5 Allosaurus, 5 dwarves, Poe and bb8 in a z-95 Headhunter, and Professor X.

S12 W6: Be Gentle it's my Third Time vs TEAM

Be Gentle it’s my Third Time is: Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr.Octupuss, Electro, Mysterio, Vulture, Granny Goodness and the Female Furies: (Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gillotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina), Terrorcons: (Hun-Gurr, Rippersnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, Cutthroat, Cindersaur) (all 4 deaths), Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: (Jason (Red Ranger), Billy (Blue), Zack(Black)), Kimberly (pink), Trini (yellow), Nazgul riding a fellbeast (with 4 other fell beast following him), The Cloverfield monster, Zues (with the time stone), 5 warg riders riding 5 wargs, 10 dwarves,

TEAM is: Optimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Neo, Morg, Nekron, Black Lantern Yoda, Black Lantern Wolverine, Black lantern Non, President John Adams (w/ Airbending Staff), Donald Trump (w/ Airbending Staff), President John Turner (w/ Airbending Staff), Tom Cruise, John Patrick Mason, Mr. Methane, Steven Segal, Leto II, Ms. Marvel, Blur

Who’s ready for another Artifact turd gem? I know, me too.

So the Terrorcons and The Cloverfield Monster were going all crazy animal rage like on TEAM. Like smashing stuff up good. Sandman was there but he was sleeping and Dr.Octopuss was tending to the wounded as any doctor would bound by the hippocratic oath. The trio of one term presidents were keeping the Gentles at bay along with Mr. Methane who was letting out massive farts while the presidents were using their air bending staffs to channel the methane gas in a stunning display of defense. Nekron led the other Black Lanterns on the offensive while John Patrick Mason was touting killer one liners. Real good stuff. I won’t bore you with details but let’s just say the fight did its job in thinning this roster down to a workable level given the fact that the match is already over forty hours late.

Ten minutes later...

“Thanks for coming ladies,” a persuasive Tom Cruise says to the Female Furies who he has off to the side of the match in a makeshift tent. “All I’m asking you to do is hold on to these two devices. These are attached to a machine we call an ‘e-meter’ and what this does is measure the electrodermal activity in your body. It works best when you tell me your deepest darkest secrets so I can use it later to blackmail you. Also, I will need all your money and you need to stop talking to your family and friends because they are suppressive people who will not help you go clear. Do all this and I won't take naked pictures of you and post them at your grandkids school. Does this sound like a heartwarming and loving religion you wish to be a part of?”

Tom Cruise was then taken away on a spaceship by whatever dumb fuck alien race they believe in. Steven Segal and Leto II then show up and have a good old time beating the crap out of the old ladies in the tent. The two sides fought valiantly but the spirit of Janet Reno emerged from her throne in Hell and knocked over a kerosene lamp and burned the entire tent down and everyone died. 

Ms. Marvel has her knee on the neck of the Green Goblin “Chauvin style”. Optimus Prime has his rocket primed and ready to finish off Mr. Osborn. Looks like the end of the road for the Gentles.

Late 1960s, Boston, Massachusetts…

Zeus rings the doorbell to the home of Joe and Marie Danvers. It was early evening, Joe had just got home from work and the family had just sat down to supper. Marie, like a good mid-century wife, did not want to inconvenience her husband so she answered the door. She was taken aback at the sight of the scantily clad God of Thunder. She had not been in the company of a man this breathtaking since her early days working the port as the boys came home from war. She never saw the lightning bolt that killed her, and she was long dead as Zeus casually entered the Danvers home and massacred the entire family.

Back on the field of battle…

Optimus watched in horror as Ms. Marvel proceeded to disappear from existence. The Green Goblin regained himself to throw some of those dumb pumpkin bombs (or whatever it was he carried) at Optimus but the final blow happened moments later as Zeus retuned to present day using the Time Stone. Commanding all the power of Mt. Olympus, Zeus fired his lightning bolt into the All Spark of the last remaining TEAMmember.

Week 6 Southern Air Temple Consortium Match: Spencer and Vaders House of Sith AIDS vs The Kittens of Luna

Kitties: Cicada, Black Flash, Green Goblin (Harry), Blink, Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Killer Frost, Joe West, Vibe, Iris West, Mystique, John Constantine, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Samus, Scarecrow, Firestorm, & Argent.

AIDS : Fire lord Ozai, Soka, Suki, Ty lee, Hancock(4 deaths), Daenyrus(4 deaths), Daenyrus Dragon(4 deaths), Naruto, Weapon h, Cosmic Spiderman(4 deaths), Connor Kyle Big Gay, George the albino, The wolf, Lizzy, Chop shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, Captain Rex(4 deaths), Pod racer Anakin, General Veers, & 4-9 velociraptor (4 deaths).

A Bippen Battle (Striders of Rohan vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes)

Popeyes: Fastbak, Dr. Light, Cheetah, Namor, Namor's Griffin, Power Man (4 Death), Iron Fist (4 Death), Jessica Jones (4 Death), Sebastian Shaw, Dr. Doom, Reptile, Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, Shang Tsung, Goro, Tigger (4 Death), Eeore (4 Death), Rabbit, Piglet, Bret "The Hitman" Hart (4 Death), Jim "The Anvil" Niedhart (4 Death), Zodack

Striders: Azula w/ Red Lantern Ring, Rage w/ Red Lantern Ring, T-2 (4 deaths), T-3 (4 death), Abeloth, Steppenwolf w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Winter Soldier w/ Green Lantern Ring, Gothmog the Balrog, 4 Rainbow Six Siege Vanilla Attack Operators, Hellboy, Baron Zemo w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Moff Gideon w/ Dark Saber, Dark Troopers #1-5, Mandalorian #1-5, Balrog #1a, Agent 47, Mew, Mewtwo 

    

    The Southern Air Temple wasn’t inhabited for many years.  That is until Affirmative Action Popeyes lead by the courageous Tigger decided to post up there.  Although uninhabited the word spread quickly that The Southern Air temple was under new control.  Winter Soldier and the other members of the Striders of Rohan did not take kindly to the news.  The Striders knew what had to be done and that was to whoop some squatter ass. 

The Striders of Rohan although eager to rush to the top of the temple they knew they would have to form a plan.  Even though they be squatting, they also do be boxin out here.  With the strategist that the Striders had a bulletproof plan was imminent.  This strategy was led by the likes of Azula, Ash, and Thermite.  The plan was ready but as taking head count before battle they had noticed Agent 47 missing as he always likes to work alone.  

The plan was set and the Striders ran to the entrance of the temple.  At the entrance they are met by a dead body.  It was none other than Kung Lao, but something was different.  None of the Striders seemed to be able to figure it out, that is until Hellboy lets out a laugh and says “dis boy ain't got no clothes on.”  As they all burst into laughter Reptile comes out of nowhere and dismembers Sledge and Glaz in one combo.  An all out battle ensues.

Gothmog the Balrog lets out a giant screech signaling shit is about to go DAHN.  Mew and Mewtwo quickly enter the temple where they are met by Johnny Cage himself.  Mewtwo instantly hits Johnny Cage with a psystrike and he is badly wounded.  That move wasn't enough as Johnny Cage knows its a last resort and combos up a fatality onto mew ripping the pour mew in half.  As it wasn’t bad enough being ripped in half, he used mew like a puppet.  Mewtwo following the rules of pokemon knew it wasn’t his turn to attack so he could not defend the pour mew.  T-3 and T-2 show up just as this was happening and blow away the wounded Johnny Cage with ease.  Little did they know sitting in the background was Dr.Light.  He was slowly working up an illusion to distract the infiltrating Striders.  He was able to deceive T-2 into thinking Mewtwo and T-3 were his enemies, so as he do he beat them to death with the closest broomstick (not as cool as a john wick pencil kill but pretty impressive).  

All while this is happening on the other side of the temple a fight including hellboy, azula, and rage begins to cause some serious destruction to the building.     They are shocked by the pure speed of Fastbak and Cheetah.  They have nothing else to do besides try to destroy what they cannot see.  This allowed Namor to shove a trident through the backs of rage and hellboy.  Azula filled with rage starts to burn everything in the surrounding area, killing fastback and cheetah as they are burned more than a ginger in the sun.  

Tigger knew his defeat was coming but had one last resort.  He had to send out the big guns and that he did.  “Dr.Doom has entered the chat” Tigger says while laughing maniacally.  Dr.Doom instantly takes down the Rainbow six team who was leading the Dark Troopers into battle.  Abeloth and Steppenwold finally decided to step in and let the children quit playing.  The Bringer of pure chaos vs the bringer of Doom.  Who will win? Find out next week on dragonball z.

*one week later* The fight resumes Dr.Doom gave it all he got, banishing the nearby Moff Gideon as he just wanted another kill on the board because Steppenwolf and Abeloth are too strong for Dr.Doom himself as Tigger did not give him a team to suffice this battle.  Namor and Sebastian Shaw work together to take down Steppenwolf.  Although wielding a lantern ring his power wasn't enough to hold the strength of Shaw and Namor together.  Winter Soldier rushes to aid his fallen comrade but is met by Goro and Shang Tsung.  This turned into an all out side scrolling boxing match where it lasted as long as the Jake Paul vs Askren fight.  Goro emerged victorious leaving nothing but the dead bodies of his enemy and teammate.  Goro, Namor and Shaw are beaten down and have no help.  That is what they think at least.

Iron Fist sitting side by side with Tigger and Kung Lao watching.  Jessica Jones is also there nagging that she is the only female left.  With her powers backed by feminism and whatever the hell she wants to believe in she takes down the 5 mandalorian sent by Striders.  She may have jumped to conclusion to quickly (what a surprise) *haha woman jokes* and is met by Gothmog the Balrog as Balrog throws one quick swipe at her and she is decimated.  Iron fist knew this wasn’t going to end well and ran away to Hell's Kitchen.   

All that sits atop the temple is Tigger and Kung Lao.  Tigger sits there in fear as he sees he made a grave mistake trying to take over the uninhabited temple.  Tigger, about to speak, is met by fiber wire being wrapped around his neck and is taken down.  The striders sit in confusion as to what had happened.  Kung Lao then shows himself tipping his cap.  He then removes his cap revealing the identity of Agent 47 the true master of disguise.  

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Avatar Aang, General Zod, Ursa, Cyborg Superman (w/ Yellow Lantern Ring), Kalibak, Shazam, Avatar Alex:  The Last Fart Bender (w/ Final Use of Broccoli), Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Zaheer, The Shining Force:  Max (w/ The Chaos Breaker, A White Ring, & an Indigo Lantern Ring), Tao, Anri, Alef, Domingo Musashi, Luke, Gort, Zylo (w/ Shower of Cure), Blue (w/ Speed Ring), Tarasu (w/ Glock Model 40), & Jogurt, Red Robin (w/ double Orange Lightsaber), Mas y Menos (w/ Twin Glock 27s), Tom Brady (in The Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit), & 5 Honored Matres.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Avatar Korra, The Sentry, Katara, Desna & Eska, Bolin, The 12 Guardian Knights, The Ancient One, Quicksilver, Indigo One & Monk, El Diablo, Kyle and Zachary Houslander:  Young Jedi Knights in 2 Jedi Starfighters, Uruk Hai #12-15, & Zombie #18-20.

It is a clear day with the winds blowing heavily here at the hallowed ground known as The Air Temple.  In an attempt to gain the high ground, both teams have situated themselves on high mountain tops, traveling ever closer to one another.  The fliers and Air Benders are having little difficulty moving upwards, but some of the other troops on both sides are not faring quite as well.  Personally with people having rosters of two hundred people, why anyone would play a character that isn't from Avatar or that can't fly in this match is a little on the not thought out side; but it is what it do Yugi.

At the highest point of the highest mountain near the Air Temple a battle of the ages is about to begin.  Only two combatants, Aang and Korra stare each other down, knowing that this one on one battle would decide who was truly the greater of the two Avatars.  The pitched battle begins; but we shall revisit that later.  

It is only fitting that the speedsters would be the first to find each other in what is sure to be a fast paced match even for those without super speed.  Mas Y Menos and Quicksilver start doing a bunch of stuff that I can't really see, because they are doing it so fast.  Quicksilver seems to have the superior speed even with the twins tightly gripping each other's hands and in perfect unison.  They begin running directly at one another with both sides proclaiming some sort of battle cry that I do not understand because I don't speak Spanish or Eastern European whatever.  Quicksilver bends into a charging position but the much smaller Mas and Menos go low, tripping the mutant, or Avenger, or Inhuman, or whatever Quicksilver is in Marvel this week, sending him flying off the mountain, plummeting to his doom.  Desna comes in for some swift revenge; by flinging some good Ol' H2O at the speedy twins; but they dodge it initially and pull their twin Glock Forties Ludicrous style planting two bullets in Desna's head.  The blast of the guns send the little guys not only off the mountain but to the FFL Graveyard as well.  

The Ancient One is followed closely by the Indigo Lantern powerhouses Indigo One and Monk with some Uruk Hai and Zombies pulling up the rear as they move towards the entire Shining Force which has taken up a defensive position in a small grassy outcropping free of land effect.  The Zombies begin to feast the dragon meat of poor baby Blue, and have some Jogurt for desert; but Musashi gets pissed and makes some short work of all three of them with his Katana before the brain freeze kicks in.  Torasu pulls out his Glock and turns it to the side yelling "screw this healing crap, I'm a blast you fools" as he pumps out 18 rounds of 10 MM into the four Uruk Hai, sending the little Priest flying off of the mountain from the blast of his own Glock (I know, I know, I already used that gag; well I'm using it again alright).  Indigo One and Monk mow through the good defense and high hit points of Zylo and Musashi, while Anri and Alef fail to impress The Ancient One with magic despite their mastery of Freeze and Bolt.  The three Assasins then form up and defend against the axe attacks of Gort and Luke, before sending them plummeting off the cliff as well.  Tao grabs hold of her Demon Rod, casting Blaze 4, which much to the surprise of Indigo One burns Monk to a crisp.  Indigo One wants quick revenge; but instead gets a taste of the Chaos Breaker through her heart.  Max and Tao, standing tall after their victories form up with Domingo flying behind them ready to cast Freeze 4, Desoul or both; but The Ancient One flies in fast and casts a vicious spell that wipes out the remaining Shining Force members for good.  

Kyle and Zack patrol the area in their Jedi Starfighters keeping a tight side by side formation; when an X-Wing comes out of thin air and blasts them both with a pair of photon torpedos.  Kyle and Zack may be excellent pilots, with Jedi reflexes; but there is only one Wedge Antilles.  Both of the Young Jedi Knights eject from their craft and land safely atop a mountain where they are met by The Last Fart Bender:  Alex Houslander.  The two brothers attempt to hit him with a joint force push, but Alex air bends it out of the way.  Alex then smiles and says:  "Hmmmm....  Bruh.  Bop time" as he pops an enormous piece of broccoli into his mouth then turns around pointing his butt in their general direction.  Alex unleashes a fart so epic that it makes him the first ever Avatar to simultaneously air bend (through a mound of feces), water bend (cuz check them pants for did-ahrrea), earth bend (I felt it move), lava bend (the plasma in them underwear), swamp bend (did I mention the plasma in them underwear), fire bend (it burnt off my eyebrows), sand bend (turned it to glass tho), and metal bend (cuz that fart was pure gold) all at the same time.  This massive fart took out the whole landscape and ended the lives of all three Houslanders involved.  

Eska, Bolin, and El Diablo have taken on the full competitive bending stance as a water, earth, and fire trio, when they are confronted by the likes of Red Robin and Tom Brady in his massive Hulk Buster Suit.  The GOAT is quickly thrown off guard by the bending trio who hit him with a flurry of hits causing the bulky suit to become unbalanced.  Tom gets a mini rocket off before the benders disable his suit and send him flipping off the mountain, high fives commence; but the rocket hits Bolin right between the eyes ending the celebration.  Red Robin moves in directly afterwards decapitating El Diablo; but Eska splashes Red Robin over the edge of the cliff.  Tim Drake, sends a perfectly aimed orange lightsaber through the heart of Eska causing the water bender to join him in death.  

Cyborg Superman leads Kalibak, Shazam, and a crew of Honored Matres against the dozen Guardian Knights of Cybertron.  The Honored Matres move first in an attempt to keep the Guardian Knights from forming a Gestalt using time forgotten tactics developed by the Sorceresses' of Rossack to battle the evil thinking machines that plagued them.  This works momentarily, but the Honored Matres numbers are too few.  The Guardian Knights destroy all five of them and then merge to form Dragonstorm.  The three DC Combatants look like flies zipping around the massive Transformer Combiner; but they don't hit like flies and aren't nearly as easy to swat.  Dragonstorm manages to come down hard with a double-fisted punch that annihilates the extremely durable Kalibak; but this attack leaves a major hole in the the defenses of the Gestalt which Cyborg Supes and Shazam take immediate advantage of with blasts of lightning, heat vision, yellow energy, and building leveling fists from the duo that leave a pile of dust where Dragonstorm once stood.  

Zod and Ursa have taken flight and are zipping through the air at amazing speeds with their pal Zaheer doing his best to keep up.  They come upon Katara and her more than capable companion The Sentry.  Katara begins to splash them, but Ursa fights through the water and punches her head clean off.  The childlike Sentry gets beyond pissed about this outrage as he had begun to fall in love with Katara because that is what every male (except Saka of course (recognize)) who seems to meet her does.  The Sentry uses all of his knock off Kryptonian powers to rip the real Kryptonian Ursa apart; but then becomes a scorched skeleton as Zod hits him with an extremely potent shot of heat vision and then blows away the ash.  

The pitched battle between Aang and Korra rages on........

Despite being angered by the death of Ursa, the military mind of General Zod kicks in and he orders the remaining Dino-Mites to form up.  They go on a search and destroy mission for the remaining Assassins but are none too happy to meet up with The Ancient One along the way.  Zaheer, anxious to prove himself flies in fast towards The Ancient One sending a huge thrust of air in her direction.  The Ancient One simply evades the attack as if she was stepping aside from a minor gust of wind and delivers a blast of magic to Zaheer that sends him spiraling out of control and out of the match.  The Ancient One targets Cyborg Superman next, with a magical spell causing him to become flightless and which rips his metal body apart from that which was once natural.  A smirk comes to the face of The Ancient One who directs her gaze at Zod and says:  "I'm sorry to say that my powers are very useful against members of the Kryptonian race".  Shazam looks over at Zod as well saying:  "I feel like we knew that, did we know that"??  "We knew that".  Zod answers as he flies toward The Ancient One at nearly the speed of light and delivers an upper cut to her chin that even the best magic didn't have time to stop.

As two tired, yet determined Avatars battle for dominance a mutual respect has grown between the combatants.  A respect that has developed only along with the full realization that this match does not end until one of them is defeated.  Bending feats and acrobatic perfection like I have never quite witnessed abounds with neither fighter coming out on top; when the two Avatars realize that only a test of their sheer power will end this contest.  They both take in a breath of quick meditation and enter the Avatar state before they each focus one hundred percent of their power directly at one another.  Aang reaches his limit as he falls over from the exertion, passing out and going unconscious, while not realizing that Korra has done the same, but has fallen over in death........ 

Week 6 - Crack Danks vs Little People

 Crack Danks: Obi Wan Kenobi w/ Force Saber (-4), Venom, Deathstroke, Onslaught, Mr. Sinister, Jinora, Lin Beifong, Toph Beifong, Beast boy, Jason Voories w/ Red lantern Ring, Grey Worm w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Green Lantern Penguin, Prometheus, Bronze Dragon #1-4

Them Small Peeps: Yoda w/ White Lantern Ring and Dwarf Ring #5, Air Bender #1-3, Zach and Spence: Woke, White Folk from Wakanda, Hermes, Mighty Mousette, Tracks, Nightsister Initiate on Nazgul #9’s Fell Beast (-4), Air Zonk w/ Power Dump, Cosmos, Skyfire, Captain Britain, Serci, Quasar, Mimic (-4), Sunfire

Sorry boys, the creative juices aren’t really with me this week, so it’ll be a short one.

It’s the southern air temple, post-Sozin destruction, therefore uninhabited. The small folks have not really found a home wherever they go, but have stumbled upon this abandoned temple and decide to make it theirs. The place is ginormous, and has plenty of space for the whole team to not have to smell AIr Zonk’s power dumps. Although, the three airbenders oddly feel even more at home than the rest of little peeps. Nazgul #9’s fell beast goes for a joy fly around the area alongside Skyfire.

Jinora and her team of crack filled dank people head for the southern air temple. Jinora wants to destroy it to the ground and build all new so that there are no remnants of the past of destruction it had gone through. As they arrive, Prometheus, Bronze Dragons #1-5, and Onslaught set ablaze the whole temple, not aware there are inhabitants. Toph and Lin Beifong start destroying the base of the temple and the whole building starts to crumple. Quickly, the tiny people become trapped within the burning building and start to suffocate and brun from the fire. Luckily for Sunfire, he can withstand the heat and Mimic copies his abilities so he, too, can survive. Members of the team fall fast, leaving just Sunfire and Mimc alive. From the ashes of the temple, they rise and attack their home wreckers and mow through the dragons, grey worm, Deathstroke, and Beast Boy. 

Soon Nazgul #9’s fell beast returns alongside Skyfire and aide their two surviving teammates. They go on to wipe out Onslaught, the Beifongs, and Green Lantern Penguin. In the process, Skyfire is too damaged to escape the battle and is left behind as the remaining three small dudes escape. 

Jinora is upset with herself that she was unaware of any people taking refuge in the temple. Her team took a great loss for her destructive ideas.

Week 6 Southern Air Temple Democracy Match : Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions vs George Washingtons House Elves

House Elves: Thor, Harry Potter (final death), BlackBolt, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Shao Kahn, Sergent Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, Mercer, Hanibal Lectur, Meneleus, Agamemnon, Shaak Ti, Dark Helmet, Predi-Alien, Enfys Nest, Jar Jar Binks, Arsenal, White Walker #1 (final death), White Walker #2 (final death), Mako, Waterbender #1, Waterbender #2, Waterbender #3, Waterbender #5, Airbender #4.

Barkleys: Jedi Padawans #2 and 3 (both last life) , Ludwig Von Koopa w/ White Lantern Ring, Jax, Kano, The Wither, Blood Benders #1 and 2, Combustion Benders #1 and 2, Jotaro Kujo, Joesph Joestar, Mohammad Avdol, Jean-Pierre Polnareff, Noriaki Kakyoin, and Iggy the Fool, Dio, Oingo, Boingo, Pet shop, and Hol Horse, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Erasmus, Stryke, Haskeer, Coila, Jup, and Alfray, Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid, Zufa and Norma Cenva, Shinobi and his dog, Crimmel, Jill Stein, Al Capone w/ Power Ring, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr., Glenn McClelland and the Boognish, Nurgle The Plaugue Lord, All Might, and Mike Tyson.

Week 5 Playoff Planet: Be Gentle It's My Third Time Vs. Crack Danks

Be Gentle It's My Third Time: Hun-gurr, Rippersnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin ,Cutthroat, Cindersaur *All 4 death*, Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner, Black Goku, Cloverfield Monster, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, Zombie Superman, Allosaurus 1-5, Zeus, Zilla, Megalon,Taskmaster w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Punisher w/ Vibranium suit, Plo Koon Green Lantern Ring, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gillotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina, Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Electro, Mysterio w/ Yellow lantern ring, Vulture, Killa, Chuck Norris, Goober fish 1-5

Crack Danks: Black Lantern Kyler Rayner *4 deaths*, Vampire Magneto w/ Orange Lantern Ring, Sasuke, Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu, Venom, Dr.Manhattan, Surtur, Balrog of Moria, Ares, Apollo, Onslaught, Pinhead w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Tormund Giantsbane, Jorah Mormont, Grey Worm w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, The Silverhawks -Quicksilver, Tallyhawk, Lt. Colonel BlueGrass, Steelheart, Rayzor, Steelwill, Stronghold, The Copper Kid, and Mayday, War Machine, Prometheus, Bernie Sanders, Vampire 1-10 *all 4 death*, Jason Voorhies w/Red lantern Ring, The Musketeers -d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, Bronze Dragon 1, Watchdog 1-3

    

    In the forest Sasuke, Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu, Bronze Dragon 1, Balrog of Moria, and Venom were hunting Allosaurus 1-5, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gillotina, Mad Harriet, and Lashina. Due to Karin’s abilities they were able to find them before any of the Gentle’s squad could take notice. In their opening attack Taka was able to take down Bernadeth, Gillotina, and Stompa. The Balrog of Moria and Bronze Dragon 1 fought the 5 Allosaurus who stood little chance on their own. In the confusion though, the Mad Harriet cuts up Bronze Dragon 1’s throat killing the large beast.  Venom, Karin, and Suigetsu fall to Granny Goodness and Lashina, but Sauske and Jugo exploit this and finish them both. The Balrog gets ahold of the Mad Harriet and destroys her with its immense power. 

    

    In the Arctic Black Lantern Kyle Rayner, War Machine, and Jason Voorhies w/Red lantern Ring stood to fight Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner and White Lantern Kyle Rayner. This battle was unbearable as the three Kyle Rayner’s would not stop making quips. These quips enraged Jason so much that his power continued to grow as the fight progressed. Full Spectrum Rayner uses the range of his powers to defeat Black Lantern Rayner and War Machine, but in doing so causes himself to weaken and gives his life to Jason who had become incredibly strong at this time. White Lantern Rayner, having much more experience and control with the power rings, is able to defeat Jason in their battle.

    In the desert The Silverhawks; Quicksilver, Tallyhawk, Lt. Colonel BlueGrass, Steelheart, Rayzor, Steelwill, Stronghold, The Copper Kid, and Mayday, meet their enemies the Sinister Six; Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Electro, Mysterio w/ Yellow lantern ring, and Vulture. An intense battle took place in which the Silverhawks gave it their all and were able to defeat Vulture, Green Goblin, Doc Oc, and Electro. But due to the intense fighting, so much sand was kicked up into the air that Sandman was able to entrap the remaining Silverhawks and bury them and their mounts deep in the desert, eventually suffocating them.

    In the skies Ares, Apollo, and Prometheus stand to defeat Zeus and Black Goku. Ares and Apollo are eager to defeat their Father and with the power of Prometheus to strengthen them they are able to do so. But Goku takes advantage of this and opens a can of whoop-ass on the gods. After he mixes up Ares and Prometheus, he is defeated by Apollo who puts an arrow through his head. 

    The Musketeers view the outside of a large shopping mall eager for their next adventure, they lead with the Watchdogs, Tormund, and Jorah inside the front door, while the Vampires enter the parking garage. Inside the parking garage the vampires search for signs of life, but little do they know they are already being hunted. The Punisher bursts from the shadows and starts to tear them to shreds. As his suit of vibranium begins to turn crimson, it becomes apparent to the vampires that the end is nigh. On the upper levels, the Crack Danks team hears distant running, but with all the sightlines it becomes difficult to pinpoint where the figure will appear. Suddenly Chuck Norris drops from the upper levels unharmed and combos Jorah, but is put into the ground by Tormund. In the chaos, the running has gotten louder and as Tormund turns to swing on Killa, The drip king power slides under his punch and begins to unload with his RPK. Tormunds unarmored body is no match for the power of 7N39 and he drops. The Musketeers open fire and several shots ricochet off Killa’s helmet and some are absorbed by his armor. The cunning Musketeers and the Watchdogs begin to take fire and run for cover. After a continuous exchange of fire, Killa lies dead on the ground with his armor zeroed, but so do Watchdog 1-3, d’Artagnan, and Porthos. Athos and Aramis loot Killa for his weapons and try to find the vampires. Upon seeing Frank Castle drenched in blood, they open fire, but the vibranium suit mostly protects him. The Punisher proceeds to beat down the Aramis and Athos mag dumps him. But then the server desyncs and even though the Punisher is sure that he killed Athos first, they trade lives, leaving everyone dead.

    The City became the largest battle of the matchup. With three Kaiju in the mix though, there wasn't a city for very long so let's jump into it. Sutur and the Balrog of Moria with the help of Apollo began to fight the Kaiju. Although technically weaker, the Crack Danks squad was able to take incredible amounts of damage in order to distract the beasts while the rest of their squad could fight the smaller forces. Dr. Manhattan wasn't having any of Superman's bullshit today, especially from an abomination like Zombie Superman. Magneto used the terror cons to help his allies fight the Kaiju and in the process they were all eventually destroyed. Sandman used the shattered glass from all the buildings to shred Jugo, and Bernie, who kept going on about the cost of infrastructure that was being destroyed.

    Taskmaster, Mysterio, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, and Plo Koon fight Grey Worm, Pinhead, Magneto and Onslaught, but only Onslaught walks away valuing his own life over all of his allies and using them to do so. Of the Kaiju, only gassed Zilla and Megalon remained, while The Balrog and Surtur finally fell. This made it very easy for Dr. Manhattan, Apollo, and Sauske to finish them off. Sandman did his best against the four remaining Danks, but he was no match for their power and was destroyed. They saw no reason to go and kill the Goober fish, who at this point posed no threat. They do be swimmin doe.

TEAM Takes over The Playoff Planet, co-starring Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions, Affirmative Action Popeye's, and Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, loaded with the Power, Soul, Space, and Reality Stones), Darksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitzwing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Grandslam, Raindance, NIghtstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, Optimus Prime, Dave Parks Prime:  A Touch of Grey, Old Man Parks (Grizzled Vietnam Veteran), Wolverine, Non, & Black Lantern Sinestro.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisons are Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Invincible, & Allen the Alien, The Protectobots:  Hot Spot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, & First Aid, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom & Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Piplup, Eevee, & Detective Pikachu, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwetz, Claude Coleman Jr., Glen McCellend, & Boognish in The Poop Mobile, Venom (Flash Thompson), Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi w/ his Dog, Flash (Wally West), Resplendent Man, Ludwig Von Koopa (w/ The White Lantern Ring) on Kid-Nee's Mo-Ped, Al Capone (w/ a Power Ring), The Batman who Laughs (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Nick Fury (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), The Spectre, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Lady Q, Colonel Q, Lady Dimetrescu, Kilawog, and Jimmy (Jedi Padawan #1 (in a Penguin Suit)).

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Destro, Beechhead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Shipwereck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, Ethan's Juggernaut Tank, Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Sailor Moon, The Hart Foundation:  Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Capt. Jonathon Powers, Nash Bridges, Tatsu, Bebop & Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Mike and Laura Sroka, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Bruno Samartino, Weird Al Yankovich, ET, Timmell, The Tazmanian Devil, Mary Embery, Sentinel #7, The Centurions:  Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, & Rex Charger, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Red Hulk, Red She Hulk, Nolan & Austin:  Sith Bros. in a pair of F-18s, & Voldemort.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Sasuke Uchiha, Grimlock, Slag, Weapon H, Starkiller, Darth Nihilus, Naruto, The Predacons:  Razor Claw, Divebomb, Head Strong, Rampage, & Tantrum, Anakin Skywalker, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, Daenyrius Targaryen & his Dragon, Thunderstrike, Cosmic Spider-Man, Darth Sion, Cad Bane, George the Albino Gorilla, Lizzy, & The Wolf, Vampire Neo, Colonel Stark, Jet Jaguar, & Ultra Man.

TEAM broke the rules.  They didn't do what they were told.  They have angered Joshatu the All-Knowing and Wise.  And they didn't even wear masks or social distance while they were doing it.  You see, TEAM did not return to their base last week after their decisive space victory over Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.  Instead, they called for reinforcements, learned their own level of regeneration, and made their way to the Play-Off Planet on their own.  They began taking over the planet and fortifying their positions before the matches even began making a mockery of the well-ordered Fantasy Fantasy League Process.  As stated:  I:  Joshatu the Astounding and Virtuous am not happy.  

As the other three squads arrive at the already dominated Play-Off Planet, they quickly find places to take cover and do what they can to develop plans of attack in hopes that the seemingly unbeatable TEAM can be destroyed.  

Since their arrival on The Play-Off Planet, TEAM has continued breaking league rules.  Hell bent on absolute domination, some of the most powerful TEAMmembers have begun combining with one another to create power combinations that threaten even Joshatu:  The Cunning and Masterful myself.  The first combining came with the birth of Thanicron.  Using the Soul and Reality stones, Thanos has merged his consciousness with that of the massive size planet Unicron who now wears a continent sized glove on his hand containing the stones.  With their cosmic powers combined they create a truly menacing foe.  Primus, who holds an uneasy alliance with his brother is not comfortable with the exponentially increased Unicron, now Thanicron; so he develops an alliance of his own.  As the god of The Autobots and true originator of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, Primus works to reestablish the power of Prime.  But the Autobot leader is not quite enough to do that fully.  Only with the equivalent earth power of Prime can it be done; which is why Dave Parks Prime, who has already absorbed the military experience, strength, and the pure blue collar ruggedness of Vietnam Veteran Old Man Parks is called upon to form the being both massive in size and power of Optimal Dave Primus.  With the Dark Lord Darksol controlling the surface and Thanicron and Optimal Dave Primus defending both sides of The Play-Off Planet from above, ever looming and moving closer and closer to the surface, TEAM has the entire planet on a lockdown that would make even Big Gretch Whitmer proud.  While the Popeye's and Barkley's squads have met up in a small heavily forested area invisible from space to attempt a team-up against TEAM, The Sith Aids having seen TEAM's power first hand last week have pledged their allegiance to TEAM and have vowed to fight alongside them if anyone should dare contest their dominance.  

With such an enormous and important event about to take place, I must warn you the witnesses that this epic confrontation could take weeks by my standards and a minimum of twenty pages for you.  Even I Joshatu the Stamina-laden and Powerful must take rest before the match begins.  This match shall resume after I take my cosmic sleep for which I have grown so deserving of.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________=====================================================================================

Hey Everybody, it's me The Neon Master Pogo here to finish flushing this turd before Joshatu the Stuffy and Arrogant wakes up from his PMS Headache.

Let's do this.

Now, I assure you, everything Joshatu the Boring and Boring said was true, but we don't need to drag this out forever to lay out some action. I mean, let's face it; I'm not exactly Hemingway and you dorks aren't exactly the people who read Hemingway.      

The Protectabots merge to form Defensor and the Constructicons merge to form Devastator.  The battle ends quick because well....  Devastator is way better.  I mean I assume you guys have seen the show??  Oh.  You guys are too young.  Well, just say "Okay Boomer" and take my word for it.

Captain Jonathon Powers and Nick Fury order a full out counter offensive from the infantry with GI Joes taking the lead.  The GI Joes, despite taking out The Rampage Wolf with Ethan's Juggernaut Tank do what American Infantry Men do best.  They rush into certain doom, catch bullets meant for men deemed more important than they are, and die for someone else's cause.  Same goes for their Cobra counterparts, except for Nemesis Enforcer who manages to rip through Cad Bane, Colonel Stark, and the Autobot Cassette Graphy before getting eaten by George the Albino Gorilla (shout out to my boy Brian Colin for creating George and Rampage, one of the greatest video games of all time (and for being an all around cool guy)).  

Weapon H rocks Bebop, then bops Rocksteady.

Darth Sion stocks Baxter....  Naw, that just didn't work as well as the last time.  Either way, Baxter is dead and Sion did it.  

Sasuke Uchiha starts complaining that he is on his last death in the Fantasy Fantasy League and has NEVER GOTTEN THE LOVE HE DESERVES with the mad skills and power he has; because too many of these DAMN WATCHERS don't know anything about Anime and have no respect.  But I couldn't hear the rest of his rant because he got hit by a Ford Escort pulling out of the carwash.  

Ace McLeod takes to the air and leads the Centurions against the two remaining Rampage giants.  They use their superior firepower to take out George and Lizzy.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better story than most giant monster movies try to give you.  

The Centurions are about to be avenged by Cosmic Spider-Man and Grimlock when TEAM remembers that The Centurions used to be on their TEAM way back in the day when they one the First Universe Bowl.  TEAM is a jealous TEAM.....  Original TEAMmates Leader One, Astro-Train and, Blitz-Wing blow them off the map instead.  

Lady Q and Colonel Q attempt to tap into the cosmic amalgated brains of Thanicron  and Optimal Dave Primus but fall short despite their greatest attempts.  Despite their failure, they use the last of their power to take Black Lantern Sinestro, Darth Sion, Naruto, and even the mighty TEAM ground commander Darksol with them as they perish.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better Q story than most Fantasy Fantasy Watchers try to give you.  

White Lantern Ludwig Von Koopa has next to no idea how to work the White Lantern Ring he has been given; but to make matters worse has no idea how to drive a Mo-Ped either.  He still brings in a Net-Positive on point usage when he crashes into Ultra Man killing both of them tho....

Rarely do Red Lantern Rings choose their hosts based on last name nomenclature, but Nick Fury was a legit exception.  He kept smacking the Mutha-$%^^&*%er trying to get it to work as Six Shot crushed him whilst simultaneously blasting Dhalsim, Jimmy the Penguin Padawan, The Tazmanian Devil, Tatsu, and Sailor Moon.  The massive double-triple changing Decepticon is then ripped apart by a pure blast of Yellow Energy from The Batman Who Laughs.  The Batman Who Laughs keeps his wicked sense of humor pumping as he pines over the good old days when he used to be able to use fun things like knives on his victims; but he can't help but acknowledge the necessity and ease in which this new yellow ring makes his job go so much smoother.  Blaster doesn't think he will have much issue with the creepy looking Batman once he starts ejecting his Autobot Cassettes at him; but The Batman Who Laughs has no problem taking out Blaster himself, Nightstalker, Raindance, and Playback with Piglett, Rabbit, Eeore, and Bryan Beckerman falling as collateral damage in a bloody, and not so pitched battle (shout out Becks on final death) with the former FFL Commish.  The Batman who Laughs is having the time of his life until he turns to see some short dude stabbing some adamantium claws into his neck asking the question:  "What's so funny Bub"?  

Nolan and Austin:  Sith Bros. are more than capable of flying their F-18s on a normal day with their extensive Sith training; but after they hooked up with Ol' Freddy Baker and thought they could handle some of that Bubonic Chronic he peddles they were introduced to the true nature of the Dark Side and couldn't fly a paper air plane.  At least they crashed the jets into Daenyrius Targaryen and his Dragon in an accidental kamikaze mission.  Not sure if that could have killed that dude or not to be honest, but if y'all Game of Thrones fans wanted me to go back and watch that show than you shouldn't of cried about the last season so hard all over the interwebs.  

Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Allen the Alien, & Invincible bring Sentinel #7 and Weird Al for the LULZ with them on their valiant attack on Thanicron, while Resplendent Man and Flash let Power Man and Iron Fist tag along on their mission against Optimal Dave Primus.  This would have been epic had Joshatu kept Watching; but dis be me Pogo reporting in saying that the little guys lost to the big huge cosmic robots.    

Anakin Skywalker and Pre-Suit Vader (yes, pretty much two of the same dude) ignite their lightsabers and mow through Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Capt. Power, & the always wily and jaunty Nash Bridges.  Red She Hulk says:  "I'll handle this".

Tigger asks:  "How"??

"She'll have help" says Jessica Jones as she, Mary Embery, Laura Sroka, Sonja Blade, and Lady Dimetrescu form up in a super woke moment to take down the patriarchy just like the chicks did in Avengers:  End Game.  They then see the two extra white, privileged, men standing there and they all died from the sight of the toxic masculinity.  It was beyond evil in its scope.  Nothing a Sith Lord or Mad Titan has ever done previously can be compared to the sheer evil of being a white Male.  if it were any more racist and Sexist it would have had to happen in Georgia.  I'm disgusted.  That's it.  We are moving the FFL All Star Game.  

I was eating a Milky Way when Vampire Neo flew in fast towards Voldemort and I must have missed how they both died.  

Black Lantern Polaris helps out two of the greatest tag teams of all time in Timmell and Mike Sroka and The Hart Foundation while she holds Slag still with her magnetic powers allowing them to dismantle him.  Grimlock then steps on all four of the warriors to avenge his Dinobot buddy.  

Bruno Samartino is a legend who bops hard but not hard enough to hang with Cosmic Spider-Man.  

Tigger kills Star Killer just to make all the Gamer kids cry and then gets stepped on by Jet Jaguar.   

Non and Devastator crush the skulls of Donkey Kong, Kano, and Jax but The Boognish and his new, less-powerful sidekick: The Spectre cosmic fart on Non and then eat Devastator whole, causing them to urinate out energon-laced-urea on Leader One, Grandslam, Noise, and Blackout.  The power duo then gets uppity and tries to fly into space and do the same to Optimal Dave Primus who one ups their heavy machinery golden shower attempt and straight up misses with a cosmic Cleveland Steamer that ends up sending an Autobot collective power dump down their throats.  

The Gener and the Deaner rolling shotgun in the Poop Mobile with Claude, Dave, & Glenn smushed into the back are none too happy to see the death of their music inspiring Demon-god which is why they hit the gas and move in fast towards Black Lantern Polaris.  She tries to stop them as she would with any other automobile moving towards her; but they keep coming.  This of course is not because of their cosmic or musical powers but the simple fact that the car is made not of metal, but completely made of fecal matter which as we all know has no magnetic properties.  They crash into the Black Lantern Mutant and die when they hit her evil Oan Energy field; but the vehicle and the impact affect the daughter of Magneto greatly as the two vile plasmas morph together and turn her into Brown Lantern Polaris.  

Blanka joins Princess Laya and Scarlet in throwing shade at Thunderstrike claiming that Detective Pikachu and Blanka could totally out lightning him.  It doesn't help that Laya and Scarlet are telling Thunderstrike that he is not nearly as cute as the guy who plays the real Thor in the MCU (and he isn't even as cute as his brother in Hunger Games).  Eevee and Piplup are laughing hysterically at the sick burns while drinking some white claws and talking about low carb lifestyles and what they can do for abs that are underwhelming at best.  They start to go nuts with the lightning battle that it sure looks like Thunderstrike is going to win when the lightning hits Astro-Train and Blitz-Wing causing them to crash onto the scene wiping out everyone involved.  

Al Capone wraps up his humanitarian effort to set up the first Play-Off Planet Soup Kitchen and uses his Power Ring to put a Boost spell on Blanka, Shinobi, and his Dog.  They use the added strength and attack points to take out Stripes, Dile, & Zaur; but once Wolverine joins the fight to aid Rewind, Eject, Rosanna, and the other tapes the trio are defeated.  Wolverine is then met by a truly pitched battle as Al backs up Venom; but Logan is still just too good at what he does to be defeated.

Good Ol' Freddy Baker and E.T. the Extra Terrestrial may be higher than every unsuspecting fetus at Woodstock; but that doesn't stop them from joining the last stand led by Kilawog and The Red Hulk.  Fighting prowess mixed with raw power helps this fearsome foursome mow through the likes of Pre-Suit Vader, Darth Nihilus, and even the fully expanded Jet Jaguar before they plot their attack on Thanicron himself.....

Kilawog puts the Four Horsemen of the Transformer apocalypse (as they just started calling themselves) in a green aura to protect them as ET starts the process of flying them directly into the eye of Thanicron to deliver the killing blow.  

"Let's do this" screams Rulk and Kilawog in unison.

As they speed towards the massive space robot ET and Fred hit that funny cigarette one more time before Baker yells:  "YOU MADE YOUR "FRED" NOW SLEEP IN IT SUCKAH"

And....................................