TEAM Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

TEAM is Jared Pilkinton and Mr. Miyagi.

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Gwar Members: Techno Destructo, Bozo Destructo, and Bonesnapper.


The R.V. is moving awfully slow today with Jared behind the wheel. It’s top speed seems to be about 50 miles per hour, most likely do to the two huge creatures known as Techno Destructo and Bozo Destructo weighing it down. The two mammoth villains, along with their teammate for the day Bonesnapper can barely move as the ‘77 Dodge waddles its way down I-96; but they are more than ready for battle. Jared leans over to the passenger seat where Chris Artrip happens to be sitting and says: “Hey Fizz, I gotta go fight this match, do you mind taking the wheel”. Chris and Jared then switch spots while Jared joins his partner Mr. Miyagi in the walk to the back of the camper where this deadly battle is going to take place. “So who is Gwax“? Mr. Miyagi asks his TEAMmate Jared as they take the short stroll behind the curtain. “It’s not Gwax, it is Gwar. These guys rock, I used to see them at the Motor City Comic Con all the time back in the day”. Bonesnapper steps ahead of The Destructo Tag-Team and moves towards The TEAMmates; but Jared knows the ins and outs of the camper better than anyone alive and he has a few tricks up his sleeve. Jared reaches underneath the cushions of the dinner table bench seat and pulls out a pre-loaded SKS which he then unloads on Bonesnapper. Bonesnapper’s bones snap under the pressure of a full banana clip of 7.62 x .39 shells. Jared is about to launch the grenade on the end of the SKS, but he sees that the bullets did the job on their own and that he should probably save it for later. Techno and Bozo then start flailing their respective monkey wrench and hammer arms causing the close-quarters of The RV to be ripped apart. Jared rushes at the two cyborgs but is caught in the dome by Techno’s Monkey Wrench Hand appendage. Techno then begins to repeatedly pound on Jared, but in the process accidentally hits Bozo Destructo which cause the two Dope Fiend teammates to begin battling one another over Jared’s dead body. The entire back of the RV is knocked out onto The Jeffries Freeway as the infighting heats up. It is at this moment that Mr. Miyagi grabs the grenade off the top of the empty SKS and pulls the pin. Mr. Miyagi then sticks the grenade in the claw end of Bozo Destructo’s giant hand and says “Gwax on... Gwax off” as he does a spin kick while hanging from the side cupboards next to the bathroom. He hits them each with one leg, which is enough of a nudge to knock the already off-balanced battling Scumdogs out of the RV and onto the hard concrete, right as the grenade explodes.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!