Be Gentle it's My First Time vs. George Washington's House Elves

BGMFT: Mako w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Lorca, Bronc, Angel, Gupp, Steppenwolf, Zilla, Gooberfish #1, Namorita, Kratos, Hun-Gurr, Rippersnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, Cutthroat, Cindersaur, Beerus God of Destruction, Carnage, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gillotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina, Chuck Norris w/ Penguin Suit, Halo Ring

GWHE: Qui-Gon Jinn w/ Frog Suit, Seaworm #1, Black Bolt, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Crystal, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, The Unspoken, Bizarro Superman, Godzilla, Iron Man, Ajax, Orion, Mangy Mouse, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Luey, Duey, Lion-o

Let’s take a dip in the water where we see…TWO Godzillas?? Oh, I see, looks like on legal technicalities they’re different (they’re the exact same). Either way, they start a huge battle where they just attack forever neither gaining an advantage for they’re equally matched. Due to they’re destruction; Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Luey, Duey, Cindersaur, Cutthroat, Sinnertwin, Bronc, and Gupp all get vaporized by an atomic ray.

Meanwhile, Namorita uses her ability to go invisible underwater to sneak behind enemy lines. She then secretes acid on Iron Man and Ajax, instantly destroying their robotic suits.  House Elves quickly realizing that they’ve been flanked turn to see what’s happening. This distracts them long enough for Gooberfish #1 to attack at the front, but just as it is about to eat Qui-Gon Jinn, Seaworm #1 eats the Gooberfish easily. Sorry bud, there’s always a bigger fish. Namorita sneaks away to murky shadows.

Black Bolt, even though he rarely speaks, lets out the loudest screech he’s ever spoke which instantly tears apart the Female Furies but at the same time deafening everyone for a short period. Chuck Norris quickly recovers due to his powers of...being Chuck Norris, and maneuvers his way through the water with the help of his penguin suit towards Black Bolt. Before he can yell out again, Chuck Norris snaps Black Bolt’s neck. The rest of the inhumans are outraged, seeing their leader fall, and attack Chuck Norris but not before the surviving Tiger Sharks come to his aid. Crystal, in the background, able to control water and air removes all oxygen from Chuck Norris’ surroundings making him suffocate. The Tiger Sharks with the help of Steppenwolf make quick work of the Inhumans brutally killing all of them.

Bizarro Superman, watching his teammates getting slaughtered, heat visions Steppenwolf and one punches him into space unintentionally right through the Halo Ring causing catastrophic damage and the end of Steppenwolf. Then another Atomic Ray goes off right through the Halo Ring which puts an end to the useless ship in space for a battle happening underwater. Bizarro Superman then goes back to finish off the Tiger Sharks, but realizes they mean nothing to him and that he needs to take care of Beerus who has been carefully watching the whole battle. They stare each other down from afar, neither making the first move, so they just stand there for a long time as destruction happens around them.

Granny Goodness has been making good use of her time since her warriors are dead, she is able to convince the remaining Terrorcons, Tiger Sharks, and Carnage to fight for her through her use of persuasion. Seeing her master’s son on the opposing team, Orion, she knows his every weakness. Sending her new minions after him, they attempt to take him down but the Tiger Sharks except for Mako and his Yellow Lantern Ring are overwhelmed and easily destroyed by his brute force strength. Mangy Mouse, a super mouse?, soon comes to help Orion. They’re combined powers is too much for the 3 Terrorcons and get ripped to spare parts. Granny Goodness enraged at the failure of her new minions decides to take care of Orion herself, as Namorita comes back out of the shadows and steps on Mangy Mouse crushing the powerful little creature. Namorita soon paralyzes Orion with her toxin allowing Granny Goodness to go crazy on the unmoving god. distracted by beating the pulp out of Orion, she doesn’t realize Qui-Gon Jinn Come behind her and with one swipe, slices her in two.

Now Carnage, who didn’t attack on Goodness’ earlier command, attaches to Qui-Gon Jinn taking him as a host body and taking complete control over his actions. Carnage now with a lightsaber, sees the large Seaworm coming right at him and makes a skillful step to the side, barely missing getting eaten. As the Seaworm passes, Carnage drags his new saber through the whole side of the body of the beast. While this is occuring, Kratos, God of War, notices Lion-o and attacks violently towards him with haste. Before kratos reaches Lion-o, they both stop and realize Beerus and Bizarro Superman are making steps towards each other. They watch together in awe of what may happen. Beerus, God of Destruction, slowly walks up to his foe eye to eye, only a couple feet from each other. Beerus makes a swift punch that Bizarro Superman makes no move to stop, thinking it cannot harm his invulnerable kryptonian body, what a mistake. Beerus decided to go with his max strength on this punch which was so powerful it instantly vaporized the entire planet and surrounding solar system, killing all located in it.

Looking at the few remain of his destruction, Beerus notices another alive. It seems Mako used his Yellow Lantern Ring to create a bubble around him, and it held due to him having such an immense fear of Beerus’ power. Beerus then noticed a partial piece of an S from Bizarro Superman’s suit, of course somehow a piece of the suit survives.

Week 3 Consortium: TEAM Vs. The Empire

TEAM is Loki, Beta Ray Bill, The Collector, Ms. Marvel, Emerald Weapon, Mario, Luigie, Sharkticon #1-10, Tripticon, Scorpononk, Jack Lalane, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tor, & George Lucas.

The Empire is Galactus, Nova, Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor, Hulk, Sky Lynx, Krang, Shredder, Mole Man, Goliath, Knuckles, Deathstroke, Sardakaur #1-2, and Water.

Week 3 Democracy Match: The Genderless Shorties Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The Shorties are Abe Sapien, Seaspray, White Lantern Batman, Gamera, Larfleeze, Meggan, Mimic, Toad, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Joan Jett (in a Frog Suit), Don Rickles (in a Penguin Suit), Indigo One & Monk, Queen Agapo, Nien Numb, Sinestro (w/ Yellow and Green Lantern Rings), Ch' P & Dr. Ub' X (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), Richie Rich w/ Dollar Bill, and Ewok #2-3.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Poseidon, Jaws (the Shark), Beast Boy, Vision, White Lantern Zachary Houslander, and Salack.


VOTE AWAY!!

Season X Week 2 - Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassin's vs Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions

Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassin's are: Dr Manhattan, 12 Guardian Knights together as Dragonstorm, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Havok, Zombies #1-15


Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are: Boba Fett (Gunner), Mace Windu (Pilot), Ki Adi Mundi (Co-Pilot), Jedi Padawans #1-2 (passengers) in the Slave-1.
Nick Fury w/ Red Lantern Ring and SHIELD Agents #1-3 in a Military Humvee
Shield Agents #4-5, The Spectre, Al Capone w/ Power Ring, Griffins #1-3.


“Good Morning, Agent Hunt. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, to protect the White House from a military invasion. Our deep intelligence operatives inform us to expect an attack from both land and sky. We have assembled a task force to help you with this operation and they are currently en route to the rondevoux. Inclosed in the package containing this transmission you will find one Indigo Lantern ring. Expect the unexpected, Agent Hunt. This message will self destruct in ten seconds.”

BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM BUMBUM DOODOODOOOOOOOOO…. DOODOODOOOOOOO….. DOODOODOOOOOOOO….. DOODOO BUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BUM BUMBUM.

Ethan Hunt then recklessly drives a motorcycle to the nearest airport and hitches a ride to DC by hanging on the wing of a plane. When the plane nears his destination he skydives in, landing on the roof of the White House where his team has assembled waiting and watching for where the first attack will come from.

AT THE FRONT GATE
“Good Morning, Sir!” a cheerful Nick Fury says to the security guard while flashing his SHIELD badge. “Nick Fury, Shield, Here to see the President.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Fury, I have your passes right here.” says the security guard. He then proceeds to toss a block of C4 into the open window of the HumVee. A surprised Nick Fury looks at the security guard holding the detonator. The security guard then pulls off his face mask revealing that he WAS ETHAN HUNT THE WHOLE TIME!! OH MAN! PLOT TWIST!! Nick reaches for the handle and starts to open the door just as Ethan flips the switch on the detonator. The car explodes in a beautiful, majestic fireball. Hunt, on a dead sprint joins the fight starting on the front lawn as the agents inside the vehicle are consumed by the blaze.

IN THE SKY
Dragonstorm circles the sky above and sets its sights on the incoming Slave 1 and Griffins #1-3. Boba Fett wastes no time firing half a dozen missiles followed by a volley of shots from its ion cannons toward the Guardian Knights. Dragonstorm evades narrowly and takes out the three Griffins while trying to gain the advantage on Slave 1. Mace Windu’s pilot skills outmaneuver the three headed robot beast and a second wave of missiles tears into Dragonstorm’s chest. This enrages the beast and his last breath is a torrent of fire that engulfs the ship, disabling its engines, sending it spiraling to the ground. Boba Fett, using his jetpack and his indifference for saving his Jedi scum teammates, is the only survivor from the duel as he flies away to the battle on the ground.

FRONT LAWN
Al Capone, wielding a power ring and a Tommy Gun, mows down the wave of Zombies headed their way but not before they are able to kill Shield Agents 4 and 5. Havok returns the favor with an energy blast to the chest of Scarface. Boba Fett flies in to assist and shoots his guns at Havok distracting him long enough…

A FEW MINUTES AGO, BACK AT THE FRONT GATE.
Dazed and slightly confused, Nick Fury looks at the fiery wreckage of his humvee through the protective red bubble of energy he constructed with his red lantern ring. His head still ringing, he forces himself to his feet and limps toward the fight on the front lawn.

IN ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE
The Spectre and Dr. Manhattan use their god like abilities that I cannot even begin to describe or do justice. Folding space and time, casting each other to other dimensions and killing each other and becoming reborn an infinite number of times in the blink of an eye. The battle of wills is beyond my comprehension so in a last ditch effort for your forgiveness in this poorly written match, I use my powers as a watcher to retreat both of these superhuman heroes back to your respective locker rooms, unharmed to fight again another day.

AT THE FRONT LAWN AGAIN
Havok shoots blasts of energy at a circling Boba Fett when suddenly nothing happens. Nick Fury is behind him, doing his best to restrain him for the short time he can with his ring. This gives Boba Fett a clear shot to take the head off Havok with a well placed rocket shot.

“Thanks for the help, Mace. I thought you died in the crash. Where did you get that eye patch?” grumbled Boba Fett to Nick Fury. Then, a confused Boba fett looks and sees a second Nick Fury approaching. The two get into a classic roll on the ground fight. Boba Fett sets his sights but doesn’t know which one to shoot. One is his teammate. But then he remembers he doesn’t care about teammates and shoots them both dead. As he approaches the two fallen Fury’s he sees that one was wearing a mask. That Fury was also significantly shorter than the other and had a pamphlet praising of the wonders of scientology.

Week 3

475 Points in the Naboo Planet Core (water)
Prizes: Green Lantern Ring, a Racoon leaf, and an Ornithopter

Match-upset:
-TEAM Vs. The Empire (consortium)
-Two Dino-Mites with Bubble Fighting Fun down Tight Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Fizz)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Josh)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. The Gender Neutral Shorties (Democracy)
-Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Zack)
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (Josh)

Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's House Elves

Marty Mcfly and Doc Brown in the Delorean Time Machine, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, John Rambo, Rocky Balboa, Serpentor, Globulous, The Original X-Men: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Archangel, and Beast, Sailor Moon, and Predator #1-12.

George Washington's House Elves are Thor, Iron Man, Agent Smith, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Wingthing, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill, Slugfest, & Autoscout #1 & 2, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Winston Churchill.


I Joshatu the Great and Powerful, contrary to popular belief am not fully omnipotent. Some beings of my ilk make such a claim, but how can one truly be omnipotent when everything happens simultaneously; but it isn't always happening the same way. We greater beings frown upon you lesser beings who insist on attempting to manipulate the continuum with time travel; but there are some who even I must admit are exceptionally good at it even with the most archaic of resources at their disposal. Doc Brown of earth as he is known is one such being.

This match begins and ends at many separate points, so I make no claim of showing the actual beginning or actual end. I simply will walk you through several series of events in an attempt to show what basic minds would refer to as a, What is the word I am looking for.....??.... Oh, yes: a story.

Let us begin:........

A wingless Archangel and battered Cyclops lay on the ground with the smell of death in the air while Jean Grey's last bit of Phoenix Force is extinguished by a killing blow from the Hammer of the Mighty Thor, but meanwhile within the confines of a Delorean DMC 12 driving on DuPont Circle: “DOC, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!! The X-Men are dead, we need to go back, WE NEED TO GO BACK” Yells Marty Mcfly from the passenger seat of the Delorean with a petrified Piglet sitting on his lap whilst time Doc Brown activates the Flux Capasitor, shifts into fourth gear, travels to 88 MPH and disappears.

Doc and Marty head back to 1955 and grab a Pepsi (but they have to pay for it). They then head back to the perceived beginning of the battle, which is already raging. Rocky Balboa just knocked Churchill out cold, while Rambo machine gunned Howlback to pieces before he was stomped on from above by Slugfest. Washington put a saber through Tigger, while Jefferson and Franklin fumbled around with Eeore and Rabbit. Agent Smith pounded Beast into submission while taking out a few Predators. Iron Man took out the rest of the Alien Hunters with his advanced weaponry. Beastbox and Squawktalk have merged to form Squawkbox and with the aid of Wingthing is ripping Globulous to pieces. Serpentor was just blasted apart by Enemy. Iceman froze and destroyed both the Autoscouts and Sailor Moon was surrounded by Laserbeak and Buzzsaw from the air and then taken down. And once again how it always seems to happen Thor became locked in a vicious battle with Jean Grey and Cyclops.

“It's too similar Doc!! We didn't go back far enough”. Yells Marty.

“We should try something new.” Says Piglet.

“GREAT SCOTT Marty, I don't know what to do. Maybe we'll have better luck in the 80s”.

“But Doc, the match is here and now. The match is whenever we say it is Marty. WE HAVE A TIME MACHINE”!!

Doc guns it once again and they reappear in 1985. Doc, Marty, and Piglet think they are safe as they get out of the Delorean and begin walking the grounds around The White House. I mean, what is there to not feel safe about. This is a great time. Ronald Reagan is President after just winning in a landslide, 9-11 hasn't happened, so when people say conspiracy they think you must still be talking about JFK, morons aren't bumping into you because they are too busy looking at their phones, the only President to be impeached was Andrew Johnson, The Clintons are still in Arkansas, Donald Trump doesn't have a TV show and is still friends with Oprah, MTV is still showing music videos, everybody still thinks the war on drugs is a good idea, and Alexandria Occassia Cortez isn't even born yet. Doc Brown and Marty are starting to get used to it, but Piglet is shocked to find himself in a new time. The little Pig reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a Winston Light to calm the nerves and asks a passer-by: “Am I allowed to smoke this here”?? The guy struts by in his denim jacket and gives him a strange look as says “Of course you can... It's a free country ain't it”. Piglet sparks it and takes a smooth drag off his smoke which reminds him that he needs to grab a carton while he is here because they won't have that stupid paper that makes the cigarettes taste like dumpster food and go out if you don't puff on them for three seconds. But just then, as the time-roaming Betters crew thinks they are out of harm's way they see that not even time can keep them away from The Fantasy Fantasy League.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOIN IN 1985 BROTHER”?!!? Yells Hulk Hogan to his teammate Doc.

“Ooooooooooh Yeeeeahh, It's The Macho Man Randy Savage here with the Hulkster lookin for some pain to inflict on some House Elves”. Says Hogan's Mega Powers partner dramatically.

Hogan grabs the mic back: “THAT'S RIGHT BOTHER. IT'S 1985, AND The WWF hasn't been ruined by Vince destroying our competition and by the World Wildlife Foundation becoming randomly butthurt after years of sharing the same name. So here's the question BROTHER. WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN HULKSTER RUNS WILD ON YOU”.

Marty Mcfly can barely contain his excitement. His voice cracks as he says: “I'm so excited to see you and the Macho Man back together. You guys need to get back the titles and break all the records”.....

His sentence trails off as they hear a “BOOM”!! Soundwave comes crashing through The White House's East Wing and steps over the massive fence as if it were a turnbuckle. He speaks in his monotone, electronic voice: Records, Records are out of date in this time. Cassettes are KING”. With those words, Soundwave ejects Rumble, Frenzy, and Ravage from his chest.

Rumble screeches: “If you want the tag title you're gonna need to take out the best duo in the business. And that's me and Frenzy. The four combatants then begin to brawl fiercely. Hogan gets knocked off to the side and by Frenzy and is laying on the ground nearly unconscious. Rumble and Frenzy then begin double-teaming Macho Man with measured hits to the head and mid-section.

“WHERE'S THE REF!??! THAT'S TWO ON ON”!! Marty screams from the Washington D.C. cheap seats where us rabble who don't want Socialism sit.

Macho Man is down for the count, and Rumble climbs up on a fence to deliver a flying elbow to Savage, just to taunt him with his own move. BUT HERE COMES HOGAN!!!!! Hogan knocks Rumble off of the fence and begins pumping his arms and shaking his head wildly as bystanders go crazy. Frenzy comes to lend a hand to his partner; but gets a big boot to the face, putting him down on the mat, errrr I mean ground. Rumble gets back up and delivers a fierce punch to the face of Hogan, but Hogan stays on his feet and simply turns his head looking Rumble right back in the optics. Rumble delivers another punch, then another punch. But Hogan is still standing. Rumble can't believe what he is seeing. The stunned Decepticon hits The Hulkster with another punch but this time Hogan waves his finger back and forth in the face of The Transformer and hits him back. Hogan hits him with a clothesline, turns it into a bodyslam, runs away, runs back, and HITS RUMBLE WITH THE LEG DROP!! While Hogan is helping Randy Savage to his feat, Soundwave hits play on his chest. The music starts pumping from his enormous speaker, as the patriotic people of 1980s Washington D.C. start to well up with tears of joy:

“I am a real American, fight for what's right for every man. I AM A REAL AMERICAN FIGHT FOR WHAT'S RIGHT. FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE”.......

Then Soundwave stomps on both Hogan and Macho Man and Ravage bites Doc Brown in half.

“Holy S*(*^ Piglet!! We gotta go”!! Yells Marty as he and Piglet get back in the Delorean and kick it up to 88......

**Meanwhile in a totally different timeline**

George Washington sits at the Resolute Desk of the Oval Office, while Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and Winston Churchill stand around him consulting with their leader.

Jefferson speaks: “It has become apparent, that our opponents possess a time machine. I believe we must shift our attention away from winning this match. It is no longer the most important goal. If we can get a hold of that machine, we could go back in American History and keep our descendants from ruining this nation and going against The Constitution and system we gave them”.

Franklin, ever the trendy member of society has taken to the modern trends of the era very quickly, much like he did in France and other European nations where he visited and resided. Wearing skinny jeans and tight t-shirt he says: “Yo G-Dub, T-Jeff's words is legit AF”. This nation is hit Son, and we gots to fix it”.

“I would appreciate it if you addressed me as Mr. President Dr. Franklin”. Washington replies.

“Hey, my bizzle Mr. Presidizzle. Safe. Safe. I aint't bein a hater, I'm a participator. I just wanna be straight with the American people. I say we go back throughout history and tell em like it be. We just need to be like: Yo Dogg, heard ya like laws; so we wrote some laws against your laws so you can be legal while you legal. Know what I'm sayin”??

“This is ridiculous”!! says Churchill. He finishes: “We have a battle to win. I don't care about your personal desires. We need to win this thing like we were commissioned to do”.

“Sorry guys, I agree with the Brit”. Says Washington as a loud crash is hard outside as The Delorean reappears with a streak of fire once again.......

**Somewhere and some time else**

Marty and Piglet leap out of the Delorean and run through the carnage towards the X-Men leader and Betters Field Captain: Cyclops, who is in the middle of roasting Garboil with his optic lasers. “Scott, we need some of you X-Men to come back with us to 1985!! Some of the House Elves are there and they killed Doc Brown!! We have to stop it from happening”!!

“Are you kidding me Kid”?? Cyclops asks. In case you haven't noticed, there is one hell of a battle going on right now”. Cyclops is then hit by a series of missiles from Iron Man blasting him to pieces.

“Holy Crap”!! Marty screams. “Let's get back to the Delorean Piglet”!!

Piglet makes it very clear as they engage the Flux Capisitor and begin to travel through time that he doesn't care where they go as long as they have cigarettes. “Cuz this pig is out and I am fiending”!! Says Piglet.

**The Timeline to end this Timeline**

As Marty, Doc Brown, and Piglet speed away on Dupont Circle, Marty looks in the rear view mirror and sees a familiar scene. Iron Man lay dead on the ground, while Thor delivers a punch to the face of Cyclops that sends him to the ground hemorrhaging. Thor then rips the wings from Archangel's back and turns to face Jean Grey who taps into her deepest inner power and unleashes the yet undeveloped Phoenix Force to level nearly everything in the district as Thor delivers his mighty hammer into her face...

Piglet screams “LOOK OUT”!! As the scene changes slightly, with Overkill jumping into the road and sinking his metal teeth into tire of the Delorean. Doc Brown watches in seeming slow motion as the speedometer goes from 75 to 78.... 82.... 85..... 87...... And the car spins off the road, flipping uncontrollably.......

**Back in the Oval Office**

The surviving Frenzy helps the now one-legged Overkill into the office of General Washington and says: “I'm sorry General, we lost every troop we had. We had a great team and a great plan; but their time traveling made our casualties catastrophic. Should we attempt to rework their time machine and save our soldiers”??

General Washington gives out a heavy sigh and says: “Let's honor our troops and their sacrifice. Bust out the Ale and Hemp Flower my good man. A win is a win”.....

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Empire

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Ronan the Accuser (w/ a red lantern ring), The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Girl, Human Torch, and The Thing, The Flash, Shazam, and Bowser: King of Koopa.

The Empire is Galactus, Silver Surfer, Red Skull, Shredder, and Rabban Harkonen (w/ two blasters).


Hey Y'all, The Neon Master Pogo here just enjoying a little trip to Washington D.C. On my week off. Hittin up a few tours getting my #murica on. Just saw the Washington Monument and now I'm pullin up to The White House. Wow!! That sure is weird, look at all these spaceships flyin in they must be doing an Independence Day reenactment or something. HOLY CRAP!! There must be a match today after all, and it's starting now!!

The commanding presence of Galactus is felt by all in the district as he is ushered in by his reinstated herald The Silver Surfer. The Surfer may have gotten Galactus to promise not to destroy the earth all those decades ago, but Galactus never said he wouldn't throw down if a ruckus started up in the capitol. Red Skull, Shredder, and Rabban take a small shuttle down to the ground to get set up and immediately start picking off some frightened civilians with their eclectic weapons just for the hay of it. The Dino-Mites have less of a pro-wrestling style entrance as Mr. Fantastic leads the Fantastic Eight down to a secure location inside The White House. As a member of The Illuminati, Mr. Fantastic knows exactly how to get into the Oval Office and secure his team, before he attempts to formulate a plan to stop the Mighty Galactus from destroying not just his squad, but Washington D.C. completely.

“I am going to need some time if I am going to create another Ultimate Nullifier to stop Galactus. That means the seven of you are going to need to not only hold off Galactus, but also take out the rest of The Empire. You guys think you are up to it”?? Says Mr. Fantastic.

The Flash replies: “Ehh, honestly. I kinda doubt it. Have you seen the size of that guy”??

Ronan, who has always been a very angry and accusatory individual has pretty much gotten out of hand with his hateful accusations since he acquired his new red lantern ring. I saw him accuse a White House staffer on the way in of trying to trip Bowser even though they were no where near each other. Then I heard him get into an argument with Human Torch insisting that he stole his pillow back at the base and that it had the burn marks to prove it. But perhaps this will be a good thing for the Dino-Mites.

Ronan speaks, saying: “I care not what Barry Allen believes. We shall destroy The Empire this day. It is justice after all. My people had a treaty with Galactus that he broke when he stole all of our patio umbrellas on Kree, and Silver Surfer himself personally farted in my mother's hair last Thursday. They stand accused and they shall suffer”.

Bowser retorts: “Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of that happened, but whatever. Let's go stomp these goons”.

Ronan speaks once more before the seven Dino-Mites exit into battle: “Let us fight gloriously this day as unified warriors, who happen to have bubble fighting fun down tight; BUT I say this once only. Leave Red Skull for me. We have unfinished business. I must have my revenge personally after he upper-decked the toilet of my favorite taco restaurant in 2013. The take-out service HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME”.

Ronan makes good on his promise as the battle begins. The Dino-Mites draw first red blood as Red Lantern Ronan sees red as he spews red energy vomit from his red ring on to the red face of The Red Skull.

As the Dino-Mites regroup on top of the White House roof, Silver Surfer ushers in Galactus who summons a powerful blast of energy, The Surfer joins with him as they send some power cosmic down upon the huddled group of Dino-Mites; but Invisible Girl creates the thickest invisible shield she can around herself and her teammates. Galactus and The Surfer let up and are shocked to see that the team is still standing. Invisible Girl yells to her team to “SCATTER” as the force field dissipates and she falls to the ground exhausted. Human Torch takes to the air but turns to see his sister collapsed on the roof of the White House, He begins to turn back, but before he can rescue her he sees Shredder stab her in the chest with ninja precision and disappear into a smoke cloud of his own creation.

Bowser is on a search for the stealthy Shredder, when the muscular, fat frame of Rabban Harkonen leaps down sloppily from a ledge and begins blasting the Koopa to pieces. The Beast Rabban drops his blasters and disgustingly begins cutting apart the dinosaur like creature so he can prepare a feast of its flesh later. This greedy and gruesome exercise is cut short by Ronan who screams: “THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY COUSIN'S TRICYCLE AND RUBBING SALAMI ON IT” as he blasts the royal Harkonen into oblivion. Ronan stands triumphant over the scorched body of Rabban as he is disintegrated by a blast from the finger of Galactus.

Silver Surfer flies in fast to join the fight when Shazam screams “HE'S MINE”. “Hold up kid, we got this”. Human Torch says overbearingly to the young Billy Batson in his adult, muscular form. The Flash adds: “You got a ton of heart kid, but this guy is out of control tough, why don't you leave him to us veterans”. The Thing nods in agreement as he joins Torch and Flash to battle with The Silver Surfer. The Surfer is zipping through the district as incredible speeds and is absolutely shocked to see The Flash not only catch him but pass him up. “Try and keep up Mr. Clean” The Flash yells as Silver Surfer kicks up his speed with everything he has got. Human Torch attempts to cut the Surfer off at the pass, causing the Surfer to bank left and then bank right to avoid a car that had just been thrown at him by The Thing. The Flash sees that this opponent is one of the most powerful he has ever faced as he pushes the Speed Force to the limit and races right toward the Surfer. The Flash hits the surf board of his enemy unleashing a cosmic power that sends The Flash hurdling back into the speed force in pieces but also breaks the board in two. Human Torch hits the falling Surfer knocking him completely off balance and scorching him terribly. The injured and disheveled Surfer turns as falling in mid-air in an attempt to blast Human Torch, but unfortunately for him, that is not the Fantastic Four member he should have been focused on. The Surfer begins to fall right in front of The Thing who delivers a perfectly timed punch with 85 plus tons of power behind it to the face of The Silver Surfer which cracks his opponent's neck, right before the broken cosmic surfboard hits The Thing in the chest cutting him in two.

Galactus begins to prepare to consume The White House, when Human Torch radios back to Mr. Fantastic. “Listen up boss, we need that Ultimate Nullifier now because the big purple dude IS ABOUT TO DO HIS THING”.

“It isn't quite ready yet Johnnhy” Richards replies.

“Ready or not Reed, WE NEED IT NOW”!! Says Torch.

Reed Richards, elongates his body to snake through a window, with the Ultimate Nullifier in his hand. He stretches around cosmic counter-measures being thrown at his by Galactus, who is simultaneously preparing his body to engulf and consume the entire White House. Mr. Fantastic radios back to his two surviving teammates a grim message: “Sorry boys, I didn't have time to finish the Nullifier. This isn't going to do the trick by itself; but hopefully it will damage him enough to finish the fight. I won't know though, because for me; this is a one way trip”.........

Johnny Storm yells: “NOOOOOO REED!! As his brother-in law forms himself into a ball with his contraption inside and bounces right into the chest of Galactus. A huge explosion booms creating a decent size hole in the side of Galactus. Galactus lets out a scream that is heard all the way across the continent, but remains standing in an angered state, now more than ever intent on consuming The White House.

Human Torch is dropped-jawed with no clue as to what to do, when he sees a young Billy Batson running across the roof of The White House in human child form. “Kid, NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING”?!!? The Human Torch yells as Billy leaps off the roof screaming: “SHAZAM” and flying headfirst into the hole on the side of Galactus made by Reed Richards. As the young Super-hero comes flying out the other side of Galactus, the explosion that ensues dwarfs the previous one.

Human Torch flies over to the battered body of Shazam which transforms back into the young Billy Batson. Gasping for his final breaths with pieces of the mighty Galactus raining down upon the District Batson says: “Did I get him Johnny..... Did I get him”????........

A tear burns down the face of Human Torch's flaming hot face as he says: “Yeah Kid.... You got him”.

Week 2 - TEAM vs. Super Orange Kitty Sisters

TEAM: Superman, Superboy, Optimus Prime, Roller, Grey Jedi Master Josh Houslander, Laya Houslander: Jedi Knight, Alex Houslander: Young Jedi Knight, Scarlet Houslander: Jedi Padawan, Grayson Houslander: Jedi Youngling, President John Adams, Donald Trump, Cybertronian Guardian #1-8, Autobot #1-4, Junkeon #1-5

Super Orange Kitty Sisters: Supergirl, Power Girl, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Man, Baby Ewok #1

It’s a casual day in the White House for Donald Trump, taking care of his wig, John Adams at his side. Their meeting with TEAM is about to commence as the final members arrive. All of sudden, Cybertronian Guardians #1-8, Autobot #1-4, and Junkeon #1-5 get completely torn apart by Polaris and Kitty Sisters’ surprise attack. Quickly, TEAM reacts as you hear the hum of the Houslander’s lightsabers turn on. Adams and Trump fall back into the PEOC, lined entirely of lead so none of the kryptonians can see where they go, to make a plan of attack as the kryptonians erupt into fighting outside, having no care for lawn maintenance.

Grey Jedi Master Josh Houslander skillfully uses acrobatics to slice Baby Ewok #1 like a kebab, for he has mastered the arts of form IV. Scarlet Witch uses her reality altering powers to force Scarlet and Grayson Houslander to fall on their own sabers. As she moves onto work on Laya and Alex Houslander, Scarlet Witch is unable to notice Josh Houslander sneak behind her and slam his lightsaber through her heart, then ripping it out for her lifeless body to fall to the floor. Then Spider-Man swoops in kicking Josh straight in the head causing a hemorrhage, leading to a stroke and death. Spider-Man without hesitation webs up Laya and Alex leaving them unable to protect against Polaris shoving parts of Autobot #3 through them for instant death.

Meanwhile, the kryptonians are battling fiercely blow for blow. Eventually due to Superboy’s lack of time under the rays of a yellow sun compared to both Supergirl and Power Girl’s, they set up a punch too powerful for him to resist. Power Girl throws Superboy into the air and Supergirl hits him with such a powerful punch to the face that his neck snaps. Superman enraged that his apprentice is now dead, blasts a heat vision ray so powerful through his cousin Supergirl’s head, it explodes her brain.

Now we move back over to Polaris and Spider-Man dealing with Optimus Prime and Roller. Polaris makes the mistake to deal with Roller first. Even though it does not take long to tear the chatty transformer apart, it’s long enough for Optimus Prime to make a quick swipe with his Sword of Judgement slicing Spider-Man in two. He lies on the ground in his final moment making one last cry, “Mr. Stark…….” Polaris, seeing so much death, pulls apart the great leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, with much sadness. As she watches a final battle between Superman and Power Girl, Polaris decides to fall into the shadows for she will one day avenge her sister, Scarlet Witch, by finishing off the rest of TEAM. That day will not be today.

Back to kryptonians where Superman and Power Girl are endlessly fighting. Forgot about the presidents? Well John Adams and Donald Trump devised quite the plan while hiding away, but it comes at a cost. They have stored away a kryptonite bomb which can easily take out Power Girl but at the same time Superman. Trump worried of his own survival, decides unhesitantly to throw the bomb at the two kryptonians fighting. It explodes shooting kryptonite in all directions taking out Power Girl and beloved Superman.

Consortium Week 2 - Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People

BGMFT is:  Dr. Fate, Doomsday, Black Atom w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Green Lantern #1-2, Plo Koon, Dr. Conner Weidman:  Paleontologist w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Spinisaurus #1-2, & T-Rex #1.

GNGMLP is White Lantern Batman, Larfleeze (Agent Orange), James Madison, James Monroe, Emperor Palpatine, Royal Guard #1-2, Luminara Unduli w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Barriss Offee w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Black Dragon #1-3, Ewok #5, & Smurf #6.

Week 2 Democracy Match

The Striders of Rohan Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

The Striders of Rohan are Cyborg Superman, Apocalypse, Captain Marvel, Jedi Master #1-8, Circuit Breaker, Red Lantern #1-2, Wolverine w/ a Red Lantern Ring, and Fremen #1-6.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader, Darth Bane, Darth Nihilis, The 501 Elite Storm Trooper Division (Vader's Fist) #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-10, Sasuke Uchiha, and Navy SEAL #1-2.

Week 1 Standings

AMERICAN LEAGUE
-TEAM 1-0
-The Striders of Rohan 1-0
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins 0-1
-Be Gentle It's My First Time 0-1
-Better Than All of You 0-1
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight 0-1

NATIONAL LEAGUE
-Chaz Barkley's Turrible Decisions 1-0
-John and Vader's House of Sith Aids 1-0
-The Super Orange Kitty Sisters 1-0
-Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People 1-0
-George Washington's House Elves 0-1
-The Empire 0-1

Season X, Week 1: Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

The Dinomites are: Quintessa, and Rebel Soldiers #1-15

The Super Kitties are: Polaris, Arsenal & Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, and Phibian #17-20


Hoth was one thing, but the North Pole might have been too cold for these Rebel Soldiers. Lifting their guns to fire was a workout and the short sprint across the open landscape was a marathon. While they managed to take out all 4 Phibians in the first wave of attack, Spock was able to paint the snow red after only a few passes with the Snow Speeder. As they sped away to join Polaris and Quintessa’s fight, Arsenal glances down from the gunner seat to see the lifeless bodies of all fifteen Rebel soldiers.

Polaris has so far been able to keep Quintessa at bay by using her powers of magnetic manipulation to restrain her many appendages. The Prime of Life begins to harness the energon from the Earth and using her staff, shoots bolts of energy toward the Marvel heroine. This breaks her concentration and forces her to retreat by flight. Mr Spock and Arsenal arrive and Spock lights her up with a rope of bullets from both cannons. This enrages Quintessa and she takes a swipe as the ship narrowly escapes her first volley. Naturally, Arsenal fires the tow rope as they pass and Spock makes several swooping passes restraining several of her arms. He is able to complete four passes before Quintessa is able to time her attack and strike the Snow Speeder to the ground. They both eject and while Arsenal is able to roll himself to safety using his natural agility, the Vulcan science officer has no one to beam him up and gets crushed beneath the ship.

Quintessa has been brought to the ground and is almost free from the restraint when Polaris is able to return to help Arsenal who has taken to running circles around her landing repeated blows. Polaris lifts the recently downed Snow speeder and hurls it toward Quintessa just as she returns the favor with a bolt of energy directly to the chest of Polaris. Both ladies lay lifeless on the ground and Arsenal dashes over to check on his teammate. Polaris fought valiantly against a much tougher enemy today.

The sound of crushed metal shifts behind him and Arsenal turns his attention to Quintessa. One eye still glows blue and stares at him as she attempts to drag herself from the wreckage. Arsenal glances at his feet and sees the staff of the Cybertronian goddess. He casually flips the staff up to his hand using his foot and nocks the staff in his bow like an arrow. She raises her hand to command the staff but it is already loosed. The staff strikes true and buries itself in the her skull extinguishing her spark for good.

Week 1: Vertically Challenged Humans vs. Better Than All of You

The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Vertically Challenged Humans are: White Lantern Batman, The Huntress w/ a purple lightsaber, and Alf w/ R2-A1 in a Z-95 Headhunter Better Than All of You are: Cobra Commander and three White Walkers. On the South Side of the North Pole, Cobra Commander waited inside an ice fort mounted with a huge ice catapult. Outside, three White Walkers patrolled the frozen terrain for signs of the enemy. “Sssoon, my White Walkers shall use their ice ssspells to harvessst every last drop of Christmas ssspirit from thisss place! A gloriousss new North Pole will be claimed for Better Than All of You, under the rule of me, Cobra Commander!” Starting from far away, a muffled roar was heard growing, churning the crisp silence of the snowy land. A Z-95 Headhunter, piloted by Alf, tore through the distant sky as it barrelled toward the fortress. “Shumway to Boss Bat: We have contact! Looks like a bunch of mummy eskimos and an igloo, who are these guys again? Over.” Batman crackled on to Alf’s radio system. “Sounds like White Walkers. Don’t underestimate them, they only look like zombies. Arriving at your location shortly. Over.” As Alf finished a swift pass high above Cobra’s fort, Cobra Commander emerged beside the tremendous catapult. “Walkerssss! Charge the icccce ball!” The White Walkers surrounded the fort and began channeling frost magic to the siege weapon, a dense cannonball of ice forming in its cup. “We must ssstop that sssstarfigh-” as he drew out his sentence, Alf fired a shot straight to his head, blowing it clean off. “Man oh man, I couldn’t take another SECOND of that annoying lisp! See a dentist, pal.” As Batman and Huntress arrived, the catapult launched its payload into Alf’s Headhunter and sent it crashing to the ground, steam rising from the red hot metal in the snow. The Walkers turned to face Batman and Huntress, and in that moment began to raise an army of the poor disposable Elves Santa buries in paupers graves in scores each week. The Walkers let out a battle cry and their army charged forward. “Huntress, you focus on distracting the undead. I’ll handle the leaders.” The Elves were coming by the hundreds, as Batman cut his way through the horde toward the White Walkers. They, too, were coming up to meet him where he approached. Huntress was fighting off dozens of Elves at a time, seemingly replenishing themselves as fast as she could cut them down. She held her own, until a set of gnashing teeth and razor sharp claws began to tear into the back of her knees. She fell to the ground, her final sight being the mangled snout of the recently deceased Alf dangling in her dimming vision. Batman reached the Walkers, all the undead Elves closing in on them. They struck out at him, weapons clashing against his white armor, frost forming on him as they touched. “Sorry guys, but it’ll take more than a little death to stop a White Lantern. And even more to stop Batman.” He grabbed two of the White Walkers with one hand each, flooding them with white light until it radiated from their eyes, and smashed them into the head of the third Walker.

Week 2

Week 2
220 Points at The White House
Prizes: Frog Suit, An Aircraft Carrier, and a Blue Lantern Ring
Match-ups:

-TEAM Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (Zack)
-Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Empire (Josh)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Democracy)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Chris)
-Be Gentle, It's My First Time Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People (Consortium)
-Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Josh).

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Vision, Jason Bourne w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring, Indigo Lantern #1-2, Orc #1-11, and Red Lantern Jeff Houslander

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader, Cad Bane, 501 Vader's Fist #1-5, Storm Trooper #1-5, and Snow Trooper #1-5.


Gather round for what is sure to be a glorious battle upon the frozen tundra of The North Pole. Be honored that this battle is being watched by The Illustrious and Noble Joshatu the Eminent. The two small armies waste no time leaping into action. Vader, an exceptional military commander positions his men like Chess pieces. His regular Storm Troopers are placed in front, and just like Chess, the pawns are sacrificed first. The eleven orcs rush towards the Sith Aid Soldiers in a mad fury. They manage to mow through the ranks of the Storm Troopers; but are then easily cut apart by the laser-bolts of the more concealed Snow Troopers and 501 Troops.

The two Indigo Lanterns fly over the laser fire to go after Lord Vader himself, but Vader lifts up his left hand and stops the two lanterns in place. As they are held there in mid-air, the two lanterns become easy targets for Cad Bane who picks them out of the air with his two blasters.

Jeff Houslander is very rarely not the guy in the fight with the highest anger quotient, but he happens to be in a battle with the Dark Lord of the Sith and the man formerly known as Anakin Skywalker. Jeff emits a massive amount of red anger plasma from his mouth, hands, and ring; but this only reminds Vader of the fires of Mustafar and fuels his own hatred and anger. Vader uses the Force to send the plasma back at Jeff to take him out of the battle.

Cad Bane takes aim at Jason Bourne, but the assassin easily evades the blasts and kicks the two guns out of the hands of the bounty hunter. Now a melee fight, Bane is no match for the trained killer, who is also aided by an Indigo power Aura. Bourne gets behind Cad puts him in a choke hold, knocking his alien cowboy hat from his head and then finishes the job by snapping his neck. Bourne picks up the blasters of Bane and begins to light up the Snow Troopers. Bourne masterfully takes out all five with his new found weapons when Vader leaps in the way and begins deflecting the lasers with his lightsaber. Vader sends a blast back into the shoulder of Bourne and then moves towards him with amazing Force speed to slice off the head of Jason Bourne.

Vader turns to see Vision ripping apart all five members of his elite 501st Division. The former Jedi who appears to be more machine than man moves against the former computer program who strives to be more man than machine. Vision easily phases through the attacks of Vader; but is unable to break through The Sith Lord's defenses without making himself susceptible to the lightsaber of Vader. The attacks stop for a moment as they simply stand in a silenced stillness about ten feet away from each other. Vision's android mind becomes confused as Vader turns off his lightsaber and simply sticks his unarmed hand into the air. Vision remains unsure of Vader's motive; but is confident in his own safety as he remains completely phased in a non-solid form. Vader concentrates and focuses with The Force as he transcends the physical plain and rips the stone from the forehead of Vision despite him not being in a physical state. Vision's lower lip drops to his chin while he watches the Infinity stone drop to the ground. Now in a solid state, Vision is an easy target as Vader reignites his crimson saber and runs the Avenger through.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Empire

The Striders of Rohan are Blue Lantern #1-2, John Stewart, Fro-Zone, Xenomorph #2-11, and Admiral William Kelley in an AT-AT.

The Empire is Emma Frost, Krampus, Teddy Boy, and Vampire #1.


Alright Dorks, Pogo here. Sure am glad this is a small week, because it is friggin freezing out here. Not sure whose idea it was to have a match outside Santa's Workshop; but as far as I am concerned, the elves can keep this craphole. I probably shouldn't be saying this though.... Santa might hear me, and I don't wanna miss out on any Christmas schwag. Anyway, let's write this turd. The Empire is some scary lookin peeps this week, but The Striders brought some serious firepower.

We basically have a vampire, a creepy teddy bear, and Bad Santa: NO, not Billy Bob Thorton, I'm talking about a half goat/half demon lookin dude. Then, to top it all off we have the scariest, most dangerous creature around leading the team. Yup, you guessed it. It's a hot chick with a killer rack. Needless to say, I'm keeping my distance. But the Striders on the other hand, are much braver than I am, cuz here they come over the ice covered horizon. Let's find out what is going on inside that AT-AT.

Bill Kelley speaks into the communication device to his team: “Damn. I guess when I told them I could drive or fly anything they took me quite literally. I didn't think they would put me in a machine with no wheels or wings that is supposed to take two drivers; but don't worry guys. I got this”.

“Hope so Bill, we're ready out here for the full frontal attack”. Replies John Stewart.

Fro-Zone adds: “Speaking of full frontal, did you guys get a look at that chick in the white on the other team”?? …

John Stewart takes the lead, as he flies in fast towards the action. He is flanked by the two Blue Lanterns, who power his ring to 200%, simply by being within close proximity. Right before their attack begins, Stewart turns his head to give a final order to the Blue Lanterns, but he is shocked to see the 2 blue lanterns attacking their own teammates the Xenomorphs. This isn't the Green Lantern's first time up against a telepath, so he figures out quick that that is what is going down. He creates powerful emerald-helmet encasement for his own brain; but it is too late for his teammates. The Aliens attempt to defend themselves by surrounding the two blue lanterns, which causes them to join each other in death as the concentrated acid blood sprays all over the two blue lanterns as they join the Xenomorphs in death.

John Stewart's ring powers back down to 80% with the death of the blue lanterns and the heavy power diversion from the telepathic prevention; but John still easily dodges the tiny bullets shot at him from the gun of Teddy Boy. Teddy Boy, then gets crushed by a giant green energy fist from the ring of Stewart.

Fro-Zone is sliding around effortlessly on the ice when Vampire #1 leaps out at him. The Vamp is frozen solid by a heavy blast from Fro-Zone. The Vampire is shattered a few moments later when it is stepped on by the huge metal foot of the AT-AT.

The White Queen herself, Emma Frost focuses her full power on John Stewart, knowing that it is going to take everything she has got to break through his defenses. They stand within a couple of feet of each other both doubled over in pain as the mental anguish turns into physical pain. Fro-Zone slides into action and hits Frost with some frost in an attempt to free his friend Stewart from the mental attack. It works, but while Emma Frost begins to turn her attention towards Fro-Zone, Stewart's relief is short-lived. Just as the green lantern is beginning to recover, Krampus leaps out and stuffs Stewart into his creepy bag where he is sent directly to Hell and bloodily ripped apart by a legion of demons. Frost and Krampus regroup while Fro-Zone stands alone realizing that he is outmatched. Fro-Zone stands bravely preparing for the fight of his life, when two huge laser-bolts from the Imperial metal monster known as an AT-AT turn the area occupied by Frost and Krampus into a crater. Fro-Zone hears the familiar voice of Admiral Kelley pipe into his ear piece:

“What?? Did you forget I was here”.........

Week 1 Consortium Match: Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Green Lantern #1 & 2, Dr. Strange, Poe Dameron and BB-8 in Porkins' X-Wing, and Mako w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are White Lantern Kyle Raynor, Nick Fury and SHIELD Agents#1-3 in a military Humvee, SHIELD Agents #4 & 5 on Speeder Bikes, White Dragon #1-3, Silver Dragon #1-4, and Yellow Lantern #1-3.

Week 1 Democracy Match

TEAM Vs. George Washington's House Elves

75 Points
The North Pole

TEAM is: Superman and Chris, Julie, Ella, Jack, and Ben Artrip in a Tank.

The House Elves are: Santa Claus w/ Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzer, Corbin Dallas, and John Conner.

Week 1

75 Points in The North Pole

Prizes: AT-RT, Goomba Sock, & Red Lantern Ring.

Match-ups:

-TEAM Vs. George Washington's House Elves (Democracy)
-Two Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters (Fizz)
-The Striders of Rohan Vs. The Empire (Josh)
-Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids (Josh)
-Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Consortium)
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Vertically Challenged Humans (Dave)

Season X, Preseason Week: The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Vertically Challenged Humans vs Two Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight

Little People are: White Lantern Batman, The Huntress w/ a Purple lightsaber, Toad, Joan Rivers, Ewok #1-4

Hungry Dinomites are: Depa Billaba, Adi Gallia, Visas Marr


“Joan Rivers here on this star studded, red carpet evening here at the grand reopening of the Mines of Moria! Everything is exciting this year as everything is rebooted and brand new again! The air is abuzz with excitement!” Rivers exclaimed.

Arriving first here is the squad of the newly renamed “Brotherhood of Evil Midgets”. Look here, it’s Toad and his fellow Ewok friends. Toad! Toad! Do you have a minute? Tell me please, who are you wearing and why did your owner feel that now was the appropriate time to rebrand the team to “The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Vertically Challenged Humans?” Rivers continued.

“Hi Joan, you look great by the way,” said Toad “you’re skin actually looks smoother now that you are dead. Our owner, the Commish, has decided that the old team name was derogatory to not only us little people, but to those who choose not to identify as a Brother or categorize their beliefs as good or evil. This is 2019 and while that old sort of name was fine for last decade, I think he, as well as society, has grown to be more compassionate and inclusive.”

“Well spoken, Toad. And this stunning tuxedo…?”

“It’s an Armario Luigi of course!”

“Of course it is! (laughs) The brothers have put down the plungers and picked up some skills with the sewing machine. You look fantastic! Thank you again for your time. Oh look here comes Visas, Aki and Depa from the Dinomites!”

“Hello Joan.” grumbles Visas Marr.

“I see here that while you dressed up for tonight, your companions decided to stick to the dusty Jedi robes! (cackles) ”

“That they did, Joan. Apparently some women don’t own a mirror or give a good godd---”

BOOM!!

The stone walls burst open and White Lantern Batman emerges and Depa Billaba is dead from a batarang before she can react. Marr and Gallia ignite their lightsabers and approach but WL Batman reaches inward and in an instant projects a halo of limitless energy outward. Loose rocks slowly rain down as the scene comes to a quiet halt. Joan slowly crawls out from behind a large boulder and looks around. Toad and the ewok’s tiny bodies lay lifeless as they were dashed against the wall. Marr and Gallia are knocked backward and along with the Huntress fall down a seemingly bottomless pit to their death.

“I haven’t seen that kind of action since Ed and Johnny had me wear a skirt to the Tonight Show!” Says Rivers.