AMERICAN LEAGUE FINALS: TEAM vs Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

TEAM is Unicron, Michael Demiurgos, The Presence, The Beyonder, Zilla, Black Lantern Dave Bowman, Black Lantern Agent Smith, Black Lantern Pete Sosa, Voltron: Commander Keith Akira Kogane (Black Lion), Lance (Red Lion), Darrell “Pidge” Stoker (Green Lion), Sven Holgersson (Blue Lion), & Hunk Garrett (Yellow Lion), Fortress Maximus w/Cerebros, Galvatron w/Red Lantern ring, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Superman (Justice Legion Alpha), Superboy, Comet the Super Horse, Streaks the Super Cat, The Crime Syndicate: Ultraman, Owlman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick & Barracuda, Lor Zod, Mon El, Galactiac, Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, Thorion, God Emperor Leto II, Luke Skywalker, Samus, Bruce Lee, Jack LaLanne, John Wayne and Joe Levine.



Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve is Galactus, Nova w/Green Lantern ring, Firelord, Terrax, Fin Fang Foom, Ahsoka Tano w/Anakin Skywalker’s Lightsaber, Green Lantern #1, Oa Guardian #1 w/Green Lantern ring, Oa Guardians #2-6, Jade w/ Green and Blue Lantern rings, Predacons: Razorclaw, Divebomb, Tantrum, Rampage, & Headstrong, Black Lantern Sentry, Black Lantern Shazam, Shazam (Freddie Freeman), Super-girl (Ariella Kent), Lord Voldemort w/Blue Kryptonite, Scorponok w/ Lord Zarak, Uranus, Gaia, Oceanus, Tethys, Helios, Themis, Daniel LaRusso w/Blue Lightsaber & Green Lantern ring, Indigo 1, Munk, Saint Walker, Kryb, Inhumans: Black Bolt w/Mace Windu’s Lightsaber, Karnack, Triton, & Medusa, Hercules, Ares, Apollo, Steel Superman, Captain Atom, Big Barda, and Charlie Brown.

With their fourth consecutive American League Finals appearance, TEAM prepares to exit their locker room and depart for the Playoff Planet. But before they leave, the starting line-up briefly touches Superman’s cape as it solemnly hangs next to the doorway of TEAM headquarters. Unicron orbits the Playoff Planet for once instead of instantly making his way to devouring it. There is a blinding flash of green light from out in the distance as the Kennelz are lead into battle by the six Oa Guardians. They are followed closely behind by Galactus and his Heralds. Unicron wastes no time and transforms into his absolutely enormous robot form. “Go, my Heralds. Leave this one to me,” bellows Galactus as the two devourers of worlds begin to duke it out in the biggest bar brawl the universe has or will ever see. There is nothing cosmic or elegant with this battle, this is just a down and out dirty fist fight. Galactus literally grabs one of the several moons orbiting the Playoff Planet and launches it at Unicron as if it were a softball. The moon explodes into a million pieces the moment it connects with Unicron’s chest, which sends the planet sized Transformer hurtling backwards through space. Unicron regains his composure and lets out a massive blast of fire breath with hits Galactus square in the face. This attack stuns Galactus and allows Unicron to fly up, grab a hold of Galactus’s helmet and drive his head into his knee. (Whew… ok this fight between these two is going to go on for a while. We’ll come back a little later.)

Back down in the jungle region of the planet, Razorclaw is quickly surrounded by the Voltron Lion Force. “Heh heh heh,” chuckles Razorclaw as the Voltron crew have fallen right into the Predicon leader’s trap. “Predacons!!! Attack!!” Several trees explode as Tantrum and Headstrong bursts through them. Rampage leaps out from his secluded hiding spot and lands right next to Razorclaw. Divebomb swoop in and blankets the surrounding area with blast from his dual particle beam rifles. “Quick fall back and form Voltron!” shouts Commander Kogane. The five Lions leap into the air and for the Defender of the Far Universe. “Predacons!!! Merge and form PREDAKING!!!” growls Razorclaw. They both draw their respective swords out which spark and set the jungle ablaze as they clash. The jungle smokes and burns around them as Voltron advances on Predaking. He fires a blast of energy from his sword but Predaking’s force field protects him from it. Voltron is then marveled at the sheer agility this mammoth being has as Predaking leaps into the air, flipping over Voltron and drives his sword through the back of him. This causes Voltron to break back apart into the individual lions, though the Black Lion is killed by the initial attack. Predaking then grabs a hold of the Blue Lion and viciously rips it in two. The Predacons then break off into their separate forms to continue the slaughter. Tantrum literally “sees red” and charges toward the Red Lion. He hits the lion with an electrical blast from his horns which stuns the Voltron lion long enough for Tantrum to bury his horns deep in the Red Lion’s torso. The two remaining Voltron Lions are then ganged up on and savagely ripped apart by Razorclaw, Headstrong, and Divebomb. Tantrum snorts in triumph as Razorclaw picks up the scent of another possible victim. The five Predacons take off out of the burning jungle and head towards the desert.

Meanwhile, out in the depths of the ocean, Barracuda leads Power Ring, Iron Lantern, Jack LaLanne and Zilla in an attack against the Kennelz water legion. Triton grabs a hold of Jack LaLanne’s ankle and yanks him deep underwater as Fin Fang Foom bursts out of the ocean and attacks Zilla. “Ha! Nice try kid, but I’ve been beating up things ten times your size since before you were a tadpole,” LaLanne says to Triton as he shakes the Inhuman off of him. (Oh by the way, yes, Jack LaLanne is able to speak underwater. This isn’t surprising to you, is it? Because it shouldn’t be.) The creator of the Jumping Jack then dives at Triton and swims around him, he then wraps his legs around the gilled man and crushes his torso with his incredible strong legs. Zilla is having his radioactive-enhanced iguana hands full with the mystical dragon known as Fin Fang Foom. The Iron Man villain sprays the pseudo-Godzilla with a heavy amount of his combustible acid mist all over Zilla’s head. He then grabs a hold of Zilla’s jaws and rips them open a la King Kong/T-Rex style. Iron Lantern then tries to attack Fin Fang Foom and is swatted out of the air and crushed by the dragon’s immense strength. Jack LaLanne then sneaks up the back of Fin Fang Foom and climbs up to the top of his head. “I got this one guys,” he says as he swing off of the dragon’s ear and into Foom’s mouth. The dragon then grabs his throat and begins to cough. He spews out a bit of his acid mist and there is a small yell coming from inside the dragon’s throat. Moments later Fin Fang Foom’s eyes roll back into his head and the monster falls back dead into the water as Jack LaLanne sacrifices himself to send Foom to the Graveyard. Oceanus then is confronted by the Crime Syndicate duo. Though Barracuda is a ruler of the water on his own planet, he is not a god and is quickly killed by Oceanus. Power Ring tries to attack but is snuffed out by the powers of the Titan Tethys. “Ok, why don’t you try and do that to me!” shouts Ultraman as he flies in and right through Tethys, killing the god. “You dare? YOU DARE?!” screams Oceanus as he raises the waters high up around him and Ultraman. “Yeah, I dare. And so do they,” the evil version of Superman responds as Thunderstrike and Ragnarok fly in behind him. The three of them overwhelm the water Titan and finish him off before he can mount an offensive.

Out in the streets of the city Steel Superman, Captain Atom, Big Barda and Charlie Brown are ambushed by Johnny Quick, Samus, Mon El, and Joe Levine. Charlie Brown is quickly taken out by a barbed wire-wrapped baseball bat to the skull by Joe. “I am the whole f’n show of all bald headed short guys!” he yells in victory, though this victory is short lived as Big Barda smacks “the Hebrew Blade’s” with her Mega-rod and snaps his back with the blow. Mon El attacks Steel Superman as Captain Atom defends himself against Samus. Steel Superman is thrown through a building by Mon El. Steel retaliates by launching his sledge hammer at the Daxamite and hitting him in the chest. This actually knocks Mon El down due to Steel creating a sledge hammer out of pure lead for this match. Mon El regains his footing and takes to the skies away from Steel’s hammer. He then uses his freeze breath to encase Steel in a solid block of ice. Mon El then swoops back down and shatters Steel with a powerful punch. Samus, meanwhile, is keeping Captain Atom at bay with quick shot from her Power Suit, but she is eventually overwhelmed by his atomic powers and is vaporized. Mon El then flies up behind Captain Atom and locks him in a full nelson. He then focuses his heat vision at the base of Captain Atom’s skull, but by doing so he ruptures his containment suit and causes a chain reaction that obliterates both of them and lights up the sky. Big Barda is briefly blinded by the explosion, which allows Johnny Quick to speed in and knock her off of her feet. He then uses his super speed to vibrate his hands inside her head and scramble her brain into mush. Johnny Quick then speeds off as the battle continues.

Out in the desert, the Predacons arrive and are immediately attacked by Red Lantern Galvatron. Headstrong is blasted by Galvatron’s arm-mounted cannon which reduces the rhino into ash. Galvatron then flies up into the air and incinerates Rampage with his Red Lantern energy. The three remaining Predacons then descend upon the Decepticon leader in a formulated attack. Divebomb flies in and knocks Galvatron out of the air which opens him up for a vicious attack by Razorclaw. The Predacon leader transforms into his robot form and takes Galvatron’s ring-wielding hand off with his sonic sword. Tantrum then charges at him and spears him down with his horns. Galvatron grabs a hold of Tantrum as his horns are deep inside his own chest and blows a hole through Tantrum with his cannon, thus sending him to the Graveyard. He then in one final act, takes aim and blasts Divebomb out of the air as well (and dealing him his final death) before Razorclaw savagely finishes Galvatron off. Razorclaw transforms into his lion mode and stands proudly atop of Galvatron’s corpse and roars loudly in triumph. The sands beneath the Transformers begin to shake however, which causes Razorclaw to transform back into his robot form. The desert itself explodes as God Emperor Leto II emerges from beneath the sand. Razorclaw defiantly shoot at Leto II as the giant Sandworm comes crashing down on the Predacon leader and kills him for the final time. The desert sky then lights up in a bright array of colors. Oa Guardian #1 leads the squad of Munk, Saint Walker, Kryb and Black Lantern Sentry against God Emperor Leto II. They concentrate all their firepower on the God Emperor. The mighty Sandworm continues to resists their attack and swallows Munk, Kryb and Black Lantern Sentry whole. Oa Guardian #1 increases his attack with his Green Lantern ring and his own immense cosmic power. The side of the God Emperor then, without warning, explodes as Black Lantern Sentry flies out of him. Leto II’s body crashes to the desert floor with a mighty thud.

Back out in space, the epic encounter between Unicron and Galactus continues to wage on. Neither opponent is gaining much ground on the other, nor are they paying any attention to the massive battle that is ensuing around them. The Amalgam Universe trio of Galactiac, Thanoseid and Thorion attack the three Heralds of Galactus as Michael Demiurgos faces off against Themis. “I know Galactus, and let me tell you, you are no Galactus,” Firelord says as he spins his flaming staff around and drives it into the gut of Galactiac, killing him. Nova then uses the combined powers of her Green Lantern ring and the Power Cosmic to incinerate Thorion. Terrax uses his powers to launch several pieces of the shattered moon at Thanoseid, but the amalgamation of Thanos and Darkseid retaliates with a blast of his Omega Effect which destroys Terrax. The other two Heralds of Galactus converge on Thanoseid before he can fire another shot and destroy him. Michael Demiurgos and Themis both know the outcome of their battle and do not wish to prolong either’s suffering. So they both agree to wipe only each other from existence. But in an act of betrayal, microseconds before Michael is eliminated, he takes the life of Gaia as well. The Oa Guardians and Green Lantern #1 are then attacked by TEAM’s three Black Lanterns. Green Lantern #1’s heart is quickly ripped out by Black Lantern Pete Sosa, thus sending her to the Graveyard. BL Pete devours the heart as Green Lantern #1’s ring find its new wielder. It soon finds its way onto Oa Guardian #2’s hand, who then uses it, along with his own cosmic powers, to eradicate Black Lantern Sosa. Black Lantern Dave Bowman engulfs Oa Guardians #3-6 with his incredible cosmic powers and overwhelms them into defeat. Jade flies in to aid Oa Guardian #2 and uses her Green and Blue Lantern rings to incinerate Black Lantern Agent Smith. Black Lantern Dave Bowman then is quadruple teamed by Nova, Firelord, Jade and Oa Guardian #2 and is finally defeated. The four of them are then shocked by a vision they were not expecting to see today…Superman. He appears before them, with his eyes glowing red, when Apollo and Helios arrive to deal with the Man of Steel. “We’ll handle this,” says Apollo. “Clever disguise Yahweh. But you know as well as any of us do, you have no business here,” adds Helios. “Perhaps. But I am here to make sure that you two do not interfere either,” responds the Presence. Superman/Presence’s eyes glow and let out a flash of red light and in that instance; all three gods vanish without a trace. Galactus and Unicron continue to battle each other fiercely. The devastation they have caused around them is catastrophic. Unicron swings his spiked wings around and slashes Galactus’s chest. “Enough! This is fight is over!!” shouts Galactus. He then unleashes the full abilities of the Power Cosmic and annihilates Unicron. This act, however, takes its toll on Galactus and allows The Beyonder to move in for the easy kill. The Beyonder destroys the gravely weakened Galactus with a powerful display of cosmic energy. The Beyonder then turns his attention to the rest of Galactus’s entourage. He eliminates Jade with but a blink of his eyes. Oa Guardian #2 unleashes a blast of cosmic energy entwined with energy from his newly acquired Green Lantern ring, which actually stuns the Beyonder. “For Galactus!!” shouts Nova, as she and Firelord unload all of their cosmic power at the Beyonder. Remarkably, they are able to defeat such a powerful, cosmic being, but not before he takes Oa Guardian #2 out with him.

Meanwhile, the battle continues to rage on back on the Playoff Planet. The squadron of Black Bolt, Karnack, Medusa, Super-girl, Green Lantern Daniel LaRusso and Shazam are entangled in a hellacious battle with (JLA) Superman, Superboy, Lor Zod, Bruce Lee, Owlman, and John Wayne, who is riding upon Comet the Super horse. Karnack attempts to square off against Bruce Lee, but regardless of how extensive of a fighting background the Inhuman has, he is simple no match for Lee and falls to a precise kick to the neck, follow up by a swift kill blow to his heart. Bruce Lee then points at Daniel and says “Time to Enter the Dragon, boy.” The Karate Kid smirks and says “Ok,” as he uses his Green Lantern ring to create a giant green energy dragon that chomps down and bites Lee in half. Daniel is then knocked down by John Wayne flying in on Comet. “Young fella, if you’re looking for trouble, I’ll accommodate ya,” says the stoic Western hero. Daniel gets back to his feet and creates a large green energy crane, but The Duke pulls out his six shooters and starts blasting away at the Karate Kid’s energy bird, forcing him to put up a green energy shield. Comet then uses his super strength to kick through the shield and they finish him off with a combo of .45s and heat vision. Shazam has been busy taking quite a beating from Lor Zod, but is still managing to get back up to continue the fight. Shazam rips a tree right out of the ground, swings it like a baseball bat and smacks Lor Zod high up into the air. Shazam then flies up after him, grabs him in a bear hug and yells “SHAZAM!!” The magical lightening bolt cracks down from the heavens and blasts both of them. The bolt fries Lor Zod and turns Shazam back into Freddie Freeman. The young man beings to plummet back down to the ground and tries to speak the magical word to turn back into his super alter-ego, but (JLA) Superman flies in faster than Freddie can speak and crushes his throat. Unable to speak, Freeman falls to his death as (JLA) Superman targets Black Bolt. Superboy and Super-girl are battling high above the ground in the air, and though Super-girl is immensely powerful, she is simply no match for the young Clark Kent and falls to his heat vision. Owlman has been trying to keep his distance from Medusa’s long powerful hair. The scarlet locks wrap around Owlman’s legs, but the evil Thomas Wayne II uses various weapons from his utility belt to cut himself free. He then flips into the air and slices Medusa’s throat, killing her. Black Bolt sees this and leaps into action. He flies in, ignites his purple lightsaber and lops Owlman’s head clean off. Distraught with rage over his wife’s death, Black Bolt lets out a wild scream that hits and obliterates John Wayne and Comet. He then sees (JLA) Superman and Superboy flying straight for him. Black Bolt takes a wide stance, digs his feet into the ground, pulls back and unleashes the Master Blow at the two Kryptonians. With eyes and ears beginning to bleed, (JLA) Superman and Superboy struggle to stay on course, but somehow manage to get in close to the Inhumans leader. Superboy, however is then taken out by Black Bolt driving his lightsaber into the young Clark Kent’s chest. (JLA) Superman then with all his might, clamps his hand over Black Bolt’s mouth to silence the Inhuman. He then uses the last ounce of his strength to crush the jaw and skull of Black Bolt. (JLA) Superman drops to his knees, exhausted, but knows that this battle is far from over.

Far out in the Arctic, two old foes continue their age old conflict as Scorponok battles Fortress Maximus. They clash as they always have and cause the surrounding mountains to quake with every punch they throw. Scorponok blasts Fortress Maximus with his fusion-powered anti-gravity gun which stuns the Autobot and flings him up into the air. Maximus retaliates by hitting Scorponok with an all out offensive from his various weapons, but the Decepticon blocks most of it with his arm mounted shield. Fortress Maximus then draws out the Master Sword and cuts Scorponok’s head off. This attack proves to be only half successful, as Scorponok, like Fortress Maximus, is a Headmaster and this only destroyed Lord Zarak. Scorponok transforms into his scorpion mode and blast the TEAM Autobot back with 100,000 volts of electricity from his tail. The Kennelz’ Decepticon city-scorpion quickly moves against his Autobot foe and leaps in for the kill. He tries to hit Fortress again with his tail but is skewered by the Master Sword. There is then a flicker a green and blue light up by Fortress’s head. It’s Ahsoka Tano. She jams both lightsabers into the head of the massive Transformer and kills Cerebros. This causes Fortress Maximus to transform into his city-battle station form. Ahsoka finds an opening during the transformation and makes her way deep inside the Autobot. She, however, is confronted by Luke Skywalker, who used the Force to sense what she was doing and followed her inside Fortress Maximus. He attacks her, but she swiftly evades him. She then uses her and her fallen master’s lightsaber to cut into Fortress Maximus’s spark chamber and takes the enormous Transformer out of commission. The two Jedi’s continue to battle as the lights inside the battle station flicker and dim. Luke Force pushes Ahsoka back outside into the icy tundra. “I can sense the rage my father passed on to you, young Padawan,” Luke says to Ahsoka. “You have no idea who or what your father has taught me to be,” retorts Ahsoka. She ignites both lightsabers again and lunges at Luke. She viciously swipes at Skywalker, who is barely able to defend against such raw emotion. He Force pushes her away, but she quickly recovers and leaps into the air towards Luke. He then has no other option but to defend himself and plunge his lightsaber into her chest as she comes down on him. Luke then catches his foe as she falls. “I’m so sorry Ahsoka. You left me no choice. Please say hello to my father,” he says to her as she smiles slightly with a single tear rolling down her face. Ahsoka’s eyes close as she dies for the final time. “Oi mate, let’s go. We still got a bunch o’ dogs dat need ta be put down,” says Johnny Quick as he super speeds in and grabs Luke.

Ultraman, Thunderstrike, and Ragnarok have regrouped with (JLA) Superman out in the grassland. Ultraman grabs the exhausted (JLA) Superman by his cape and drags him high into the air, past the clouds and in direct view of the yellow sun. “Drink it up wimp. We’re not done with these guys just yet,” snorts Ultraman as he leaves (JLA) Superman floating in the sky, soaking in the sun’s radiation. Kal Kent opens his arms and stretches back so to absorb as much as he can and repower. He opens his eyes just in the nick of time. He sees Indigo-1 and Saint Walker flying right at him. (JLA) Superman then uses his super speed and agility to easily dodge their attacks. He finishes them both off in a fashion that was so quick, even I, the Watcher, couldn’t exactly see what he did. Whatever it was, it was so fast that it created several sonic booms in the process and left not trace of either Lantern. “Heh, I guess ‘Ol Future Boy is back to normal,” quips Ultraman to the Thor duo. The three of them are then blindsided by Ares, Hercules and Uranus. Ares jumps on the evil robot Thor and drives his Axe deep into his cranium. He yanks it out and slams it down several more times until Ragnarok is reduced to nothing more than a pile of servos and synthetic flesh. Hercules uppercuts Thunderstrike up into the air, but he recovers quickly and launches his hammer right into Herc’s face. Thunderstrike calls his hammer back as he jumps in front of the fallen demi-god. He brings down his hammer hard on Hercules and kills the son of Zeus. Ultraman is knocked back by a powerful blow from Uranus, but he retaliates with a blast of heat vision. Uranus is stunned by this, but is unrelenting on his attack against Ultraman. He is about to finish him off, when Uranus cries out in pain and the sky behind him turns red. The Titan is reduced to ash and when his burnt husk blows away in the wind, Ultraman focuses in on his savior, (JLA) Superman. The two Supermen and Thunderstrike are then joined by Streaks the Super Cat, Johnny Quick and Luke Skywalker. They heard a thunderous boom come from the sky and they all look at Thunderstrike. “It wasn’t me,” he quickly replies. They look up to see the skies turn a deep hue of green as Oa Guardian #1 leads Nova, Firelord and the Kennelz two Black Lanterns down to the final confrontation. Ultraman is hit by a green energy blast by Nova’s Green Lantern ring and is send hurtling backwards. Ares then arrogantly charges towards his opposition before the rest of his teammates actually arrive. In by doing so, he ends up being tripled teamed by (JLA) Superman, Thunderstrike and Luke Skywalker, who overwhelm the god and ultimately defeat him.

Ultraman shakes the stars from his eyes and gets back to his feet. He is about to return to the battle when he hears a strange voice whisper behind him “Petrificus Totalus.” This causes Ultraman to freeze in place and is unable to move no matter how hard he struggles for freedom. Lord Voldemort slinks out from behind the trees and places a chunk of Blue Kryptonite in Ultraman’s hand. “Here hold that for me while I go kill the rest of your team,” Voldemort says as he walks away from Ultraman who is now in agonizing pain from the Blue Kryptonite. Though the piece of blue K is greatly weakening Ultraman, he somehow breaks free of the full body-bind curse and tosses the azure-hued rock into the atmosphere. “Come….here…you…pasty bald…freak,” Ultraman pants as he goes to attack Voldemort. But the dark wizard snaps around and shouts “Avada Kedavra” as he blasts Ultraman into oblivion with the Killing Curse.

Back in the main battle, Black Lanterns Sentry and Shazam make quick work of Streaks, and rip the feline to pieces as they devour the Super Cat. They are then split up by (JLA) Superman and Thunderstrike. Black Lantern Shazam has been very familiar with battling “Superman” on TEAM, as he was once a member of the “Superman Kill Squad” on the Horsemen of Apokolips. Unfortunately for him, regardless of which Superman it is, the results are the same. (JLA) Superman uses a combination of several of his vast superpowers to eradicate the zombified Billy Batson. Thunderstrike hits Black Lantern Sentry with a couple strong lightening bolts, but BL Sentry continues to advance. The pseudo-Thor brings his hammer up and smashes the Black Lantern’s head in. but it rapidly regenerates to the surprise of Thunderstrike. Black Lantern Sentry then grabs a hold of Thunderstrike’s shoulders and tears his entire body in half. He then plunges his hand into the husk, rips out Thunderstrike’s heart and feasts on it. Johnny Quick, meanwhile, is evading every blast of energy Oa Guardian #1 is throwing at him. He even manages to vibrate his body at such a high frequency, that a blast actually just passes right through him. The Oa Guardian lands on the ground to unleash a broad blast of green/cosmic energy, when Luke Skywalker surprises him with a Force push and follows up with a quick lightsaber slash across the neck. “Whew, thanks mate. I owe you one,” Johnny Quick says. But that return favor will have to wait as he is incinerated by Firelord. Luke Skywalker and (JLA) Superman now find themselves at a 2 to 1 disadvantage. The two Heralds of Galactus and Black Lantern Sentry triple team (JLA) Superman while Lord Voldemort attacks Luke Skywalker. “We’ve got the Kryptonian. Go help Voldemort take care of the Jedi Knight,” orders Nova to Black Lantern Sentry. The reincarnated Bob Reynolds then makes a u-turn and flies back down to the ground. Luke blocks several bolts of dark magic that Lord Voldemort fires at him. He then sees BL Sentry coming for him out of the corner of his eye. “Avada Kedavra,” shouts Voldemort as a green lightening bolt shoots out from his wand. Luke then concentrates and uses the Force to grab BL Sentry out of mid air and into the path of the Killing Curse. He then runs in, slides down and jams his lightsaber into Black Lantern Sentry as he is being hit by his own teammate’s attack. The Black Lantern explodes from the magical curse and Luke’s own strike. “Clever, boy. But it will help you not,” sneers Voldemort.

High up in the air, (JLA) Superman fends off the two Heralds of Galactus. Firelord spins his fire staff around and shoots multiple balls of cosmic fire at Kal Kent, which sends him hurtling backwards through the sky. Nova swoops in and creates a green energy construct of Galactus himself to try and finish (JLA) Superman off while sparks continue to fly from the battle happening on the ground below. The green energy Galactus grabs a hold of (JLA) Superman and attempts to crush the very life out of him. But with all his might, (JLA) Superman breaks free and destroys the huge construct. He then flies in at almost the speed of light and punches right through Firelord’s chest, thus sending him to the Graveyard. “You will not survive this day,” he says as he turns and points to Nova. “Neither will you!” she yells back as she spear tackles him. They spin out of control in the air, viciously battling each other. Nova knows that (JLA) Superman is right and that this is a battle she cannot win, but she also knows that it is one that she does not necessarily have to lose either. She focuses deeply within herself and lets out the full potential of her Power Cosmic along with every last ounce of sheer will power, which she has manifested into pure green energy. The blast is so bright and powerful that completely obliterates both her and (JLA) Superman for this plane of existence.

The blast from Nova and (JLA) Superman’s deaths knock both Luke Skywalker and Lord Voldemort down as they continue their battle. The two final combatants of this American League Finals both get back to their feet and charge each other. Voldemort shouts “Sectumsempra!” and fires a curse at the Jedi. Luke, however, uses the Force to “see” the invisible blades coming at him and is able to block them with his lightsaber. He Force pushes the dark wizard back and tries to mount an offensive. Voldemort is knocked down by the Force push but quickly retaliates from the ground by conjuring up Fiendfyre in the form of a monstrous Rancor. The flaming roaring Rancor attack Luke and singes his Jedi robe, causing him to toss it to the ground. Backed up against a tree, Luke calms his mind and focuses. He then destroys the Fiendfyre with an incredible Force push. “Imperio!!” Voldemort shouts as he tries to take control of Luke. But the sheer will of the Jedi Knight is too great and is amazingly able to resist the curse. Luke ignites his lightsaber once more and leaps at Lord Voldemort. He shouts “Crucio” and knocks Luke down with a curse that causes Skywalker an incredible amount of pain. But the Jedi Knight refuses to stay down, even though the pain coursing through his body is almost unimaginable. With lightsaber in hand, Luke leaps into the air, but Voldemort smiles slightly just before yelling “Avada Kedavra!!” and hitting Luke Skywalker with the Killing Curse, thus sending the Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve to the Universe Bowl!

Epilogue:

Back in TEAM’s headquarters, the starting line up all regenerate and slowly walk back into the locker room. Griffin Poteracki rockets a beer bottle at them which barely misses (JLA) Superman’s head. “WHAT THE F#@K GUYS?!! I SHOULD SKULL F#@K ALL OF YOU! THOR AND I COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT ALL OF THOSE MOTHERF#@#ERS BY OURSELVES!!” he shouts in utter anger. Thor is standing right in the path of Ultraman as he tries to walk in. “Never send a man to do a god’s job,” Thor sternly says to Ultraman as he walks past him. On Thor’s way out of the locker room, he grabs Superman’s tattered cape from off the wall and turns back to Ultraman. “If Clark were still here he would have made sure I went out there today.”

MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCES TO THE UNIVERSE BOWL!!