S11 W9 - The Empire vs The Something Something Midgets

The Empire is: Leonardo (w/ blue & green Lantern rings), Michelangelo (w/ Orange Lantern ring), Donatello (w/ Indigo Lantern Ring), Raphael (w/ Red Lantern Ring), Keno (w/ a Star Sapphire), Putty #6-10.

The Little People are: He-Man

“I have the POWER!” From atop the Teen Titans tower, He-man bellows his iconic phrase as lightning strikes the power sword.

The Puttys from Power Rangers rush the Eternian prince and he effortlessly cuts them down and throws them from the tower.

“Show him what we taught ya, Dude!” Says Mikey to Keno. Keno charges He-man but with a mighty backhand swing, is cleaved in twain.

“Turtle Power!” yell the Ninja turtles.

Donnie reaches He-Man first and tries to block his attack with his staff… and loses because it’s a stick. It breaks easily in two and the sword impales so deep into his skull that it gets stuck for a second in his shell. This moment gives Mikey a chance to clime onto his back and being strangling him with a nunchuck and Raph gives him the “cell block special” by shanking him repeatedly in the sides and legs with his Sais. He-man gets his sword free in time to block Leo’s katana attack and deliver a swift kick to the chest that sends the turtle leader sliding backwards on his shell. He-man then grabs the nunchuck chain around his neck and pulls it apart. He spins around and faces Mikey who still has a firm grip on his weapon and with two quick revolutions, He-Man launches Mikey clear across the bay and into the side of a building in Jump City.

He-Man picks up his sword again, slowly this time as his abdomen is quickly spilling blood. He raises it to strike Raph but is held back by the Red Lantern ring of Raph and the Green lantern ring of Leo disarms the prince.

Leo is still trying to get off his back. He’s just rolling around over there trying to flip himself.

Mustering all the strength of Eternia he manages to push though Raphael’s ring power and get his large hands around the skull of the turtle. As he presses his enormous thumbs into the eye sockets of the most tubular of the turtles, they both let out earth shattering screams. Raph’s flailing arms manage to find one of his sais and to his final breath, continues to impale his attacker’s chiseled abdomen.

He-man struggles to find the strength to stand. He can feel his power fading and he is beginning to slip back into his princely form. He takes a look at his blood soaked hands and watches as two katana blades come clean through his chest.

The Striders of Rohan Vs. Affirmative Action Popeye's

The Striders of Rohan are Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad, Batman & Robin (Dick Grayson & Damien Wayne), & Fedayeen #3-4.

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Kyle's Homeboy Frank, Bebop, Rocksteady, The Macho Man (w/ a Power Ring), Slash, Tigger, Sentinel #1, Predator #1, & Predator #12.


A lot is on the line here; so let's jump right into this one. The Predators comes out all predatory and take out the two Fedayeen; but Batman and Robin know this tower inside and out and are able to sneak up on the sneakiest of sneakers and kick both the Predators off the tower to their doom. Batman and Robin then prove Alex on draft day right about how good they would be in this setting by taking out Bebop and Rocksteady almost as fast as I do in the TMNT NES Game. Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad had an explosive set on the Sentinel before Kyle and Ethan even got their lazy butts out of bed this morning that blows the machine to bits, and as an after thought pulls out his Glock and puts a well placed shot right between the eyes of Slash. Robin takes a bit too much pleasure in kicking Tigger off the roof; but in a surprise play; The Macho Man goes all roid-rage-power-ring-boost-spell-#wherestheloveforrandysavage and double clotheslines Batman and Robin off the roof, falling down with them and joining them in death.

Kyle's Homeboy Frank slowly picks up a birdarang and Predator claw from the ground, while Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad picks up a batarang and crysknife. “We knew it would come to this Pops” says Kyle's Homeboy Frank.

“Truly a shame. Must suck to know you are the second best man in a deathmatch” says Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad in retort.

“We'll see about that Old Man” proclaims Kyle's Homeboy Frank as he lunges at his Father, weapons drawn.

A well placed spinkick from Kyle's Homeboy Frank finds itself blocked as Kyle's Homeboy Frank Dad's apprentice turned enemy is thrown to the ground by Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad himself. “Good move; but you lack proper balance to maintain it against a superior opponent” Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad says to Kyle's Homeboy Frank.

Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad tosses his Batarang at Kyle's Homeboy Frank; but Kyle's Homeboy Frank accomplishes a wicked dodge of the projectile.

“Bet you can't match those moves at your age”. Kyle's Homeboy Frank proclaims arrogantly at the expense of Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad.

“You may move like a cat Kyle' Homeboy Frank, but you don't have nine lives. And it looks like I am about to be forced to prove it” says Kyle's Homeboy Franks's Dad.

“That's right Pops, we only get five lives here” Kyle's Homeboy Frank says to break the 4th Wall and give me, the writer a lazy opportunity to finish the match.

With these words still on the lips of Kyle's Homeboy Frank, he rushes at his father proclaiming that this life will be the one that proves who the best man on this Tower is. Kyle's Homeboy Frank flings his birdarang while simultaneously executing his spinkick in a totally perfect fashion. Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad feels the air move past his face as he dodges the kick with less than a centimeter to spare. Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad then grabs the leg of Kyle's Homeboy Frank and flings him off the top of the Tower as he says: “Maybe next time kid....... Maybe next time”.

TEAM Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time

TEAM is Hubcap, Mario, & Luigi

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Taskmaster (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Chuck Norris (NOT IN A DAMN PENGUIN SUIT BECAUSE HE IS CHUCK NORRIS), & 3 Jedi Knights.


Mario and Luigi hop out of Hubcap in his car form and start playing it up for the crowd here atop Titans' Tower for the final week of the regular season. They shut the doors simultaneously and Hubcap begins to transform into his robot form. But as soon as he begins to take shape, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the head off of the Autobot. The fight then jumps into full force as Mario begins battling all three of the Jedi Knights and Luigi goes one on one with Taskmaster.

Mario uses his cape to take out the first Jedi; but the other two catch him with their sabers turning him into regular Mario, forcing him to do a traditional head stomp on the other two Jedi. As Mario continues to bounce off the heads of his enemies, Chuck tosses the unignited lightsaber of his fallen Jedi partner at the forehead of Mario with a direct hit, sending the plumber tumbling off the Tower.

Luigi, dressed in his rare Hammer Bros. Suit, is in a pitched battle with Taskmaster who is using his own abilities and his yellow lantern ring to match Luigi's hammer attacks and duplicate them with perfect precision. Taskmaster delivers a wicked kick to Luigi that destroys his hammer bros. suit; but Luigi counters with a jumping punch that knocks the ring from Taskmaster's hand and Taskmaster off of the Tower.

Only Luigi and Norris remain atop the Tower as they stare each other down. Luigi tells Chuck that he is a big fan of Walker: Texas Ranger and that he knows what he is up against. Chuck Norris politely says: “Thank you” and then lets Luigi in on some knowledge. Chuck says: “I know you are the best character in Super Mario 2, which is why I beat the whole game using only Toad”. A third foot then came out of Chuck's beard and roundhoused Luigi all the way back to The Mushroom Kingdom.

Week 9: Dino-Mites vs. Ahsoka's Assassins

Dino-Mites: Emperor Joker and Larry Koopa w/ Ice Flower

Ahsoka Tano’s Acrobatic Assassins: The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robot Man, Negative Man and Beast Boy (4 deaths)

Emperor Joker and Larry Koopa are on top of the Teen Titans Tower about to break into the building when they are interrupted by the arrival of The Doom Patrol. The Chief first questions Joker by asking him why he’s trying to break into the Tower. The Joker responds by using his omnipotent powers to blow Elasti-Girl, Mento, Robot Man and Negative Man into a million pieces and then proceeds to do the same to Larry Koopa because he thought it was funny. He laughs hysterically and then says “I’m breaking into the tower to kidnap Batman’s Boy Wonder Robin, I want to use him as bait so I can finally kill Batsy.” 

The Chief then realizes that even with all of The Joker’s omnipotent powers he still spends his time trying to spite the Dark Knight. The Chief then recognizes that The Joker can not exist without Batman. The Chief uses his genius intellect to describe to Joker that a world without Batman would cause a huge amount of crime around Gotham which at first The Joker likes but then he realizes that if there’s a world without Batman then there’s a world without Joker and that he would return to being sane. This causes The Joker to be frightened and surrender his omnipotent powers because he understands that he can not live in a world without his greatest adversary. 

All while The Chief and The Joker were having this conversation, Beast Boy turned himself into an ant and snuck himself behind the Crown Prince of Crime. Once Joker surrendered his powers Beast Boy turned himself into a Box Jellyfish and stins him. The Joker realizes that he has just been stung by one of the most venomous creatures in the world and only has a couple of minutes left to live. He pulls out a stack of dynamite from his back pocket to try and kill them all on top of the Teen Titans Tower, but before the dynamite explodes Beast Boy turns himself into a Blue Whale and smothers The Joker. Ultimately sacrificing himself for The Chief.

Democracy Week 9 The Super Kitties of Luna vs John and Vaders House of Sith Aids

The Super Kitties of Luna are Raven and Samus

John and Vaders House of Sith Aids are IG-88, Dengar, and Rex

S11 W8: TEAM vs Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

TEAM is: Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker, Hubcap, Cliff Jumper, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Mr. Methane, Jack Artrip (w/ Raccoon Leaf) and Ewok #7

Assassins are: Grandmaster Luke Skywalker, Legends Leia Organa Solo, R2D2, C3PO, Dakka, Aragorn, Ahsoka Tano (Fulcrum), Elf #6-20, Orc #1-16

The first wave of the attack is from the Assassins as they send the bullet catchers in first to do their damage. All the Elves and Orcs along with Dakka are led by Aragorn into battle. As the horde closes in Mr. Methane casts his “Fog of War” spell and clouds the forest in the remains of last night’s burrito dinner. The two-team battle and as the scent clears, only Aragorn, who stands atop the disabled corpse of Hubcap, survive from the Assassins first wave. Among the heaps of dead, Earthworm Jim and KC Munchkin are riddled with elf arrows and Mr. Methane and Ewok #7 had their heads ripped off by an orc.

Jack Artrip safely flew into a tree with his racoon leaf just before the attack started. He did not do this out of self-preservation, he simply saw a branch in the tree that reminded him of a wooden pickaxe from Minecraft and had to check it out. Then when he got up there, he completely forgot that he was here to battle and just stayed in the tree daydreaming thinking about his two favorite things to do: playing with Legos and leaving the light on in his bedroom.

Wheel Jack, Hound, Sunstreaker and Cliff Jumper stand remaining for TEAM.

“Perhaps you would like me to communicate with them, Master Luke? You know I’m fluent in over six mill—” C3PO suggests.

“No thanks, Threepio.” Says Luke dismissively. “I think we got this.”

Luke, Leia and Fulcrum ignite their Lightsabers while R2 beeps and wobbles annoyingly until he falls over in the uneven terrain. Before Threepio can help Artoo back up, the jedi trio have disabled Wheel Jack and Hound. The transformers try their hardest and they shoot rockets and stuff but they are only able to defeat Aragorn with a missile blast and Leia by a big metal boot that pounds her into the Endorian terrain.

Luke looks up at the Artrip child singing carefree on a tree branch and then back over to Ahsoka.

“I’m not my father and you aren’t your Master.” Says Luke. “I say we let this youngling live.”

The Assassins transport out of the match as night begins to fall and Luke is happy with himself for sparing the life of an innocent. However, had he known that nighttime on the forest moon of Endor is when the feral Ewoks come out to feed, he might have given the young boy a more merciful death than the long and painful one that was about to endure.

Week 8: Empire Vs Super Kitties

The Empire: Pinhead, Nazgul #7 on Mordor Horse, Jool Noret, Rita Repulsa, Lord Zed, Frankenstein’s Monster, Flying Monkey #2-8

Super Kitties: Cicada, Hermione Granger, Green Goblin, Dracula, the Protectobots; Hot Spot, Street Wise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid.

Around a fire, shivering and covered in blood, Flying Monkeys #7 and #8 sit in silence under the Endor night. Having witnessed the ruthless battle and the death of all of their friends before fleeing they retell the course of events.

It all started when the Green Goblin rode in on his hoverboard and disintegrated Flying Monkeys #2-6 and Frankensteins Monster. Rita Repulsa then cast an energy bolt killing him. The Protectobots were not far behind and surrounded Jool, Rita Repulsa, and Lord Zed. Rita cast a spell making Lord Zed a giant, then the three began their stand. Zed was easily able to take out several of the Protectobots before being struck by Blades. Rita and Jool are able to finish the job. Pinhead riding double with Nazgul #7 arrives to reinforce their allies, but the Kitties were determined to crush them. Cicada, Hermione, and Dracula descended upon the Empire. Nazgul #7 strikes Dracula but is crushed by Hermione who was fed up and used some primo magic. Cicada and Granger Moved to attack and are easily able to fight Jool, Rita, Pinhead, and Mordor Horse. Jool jumps on the horse and charges Hermione, but is struck mid charge by Cicada killing them both. But in this attack Pinhead is able to stab Cicada leaving the lone witch to fight Rita and the hellish demon. The Witch quickly out magics Rita who seems set on using odder spells. Pinhead walks unknowingly into a trap set by Granger who moves to act on the disoriented demon, but he summons several blades that rip the witch to bits but is struck by a devastating spell and he succumbs to his wounds. The Only survivors being the last two Flying Monkeys who hid in the bushes following the disintegration of all of their comrades. Wandering through the forest they set up camp where I met them to hear about the match.

Week 8: Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People vs Barkley’s Turrible Decision’s

Little Peeps: Rick w/ a Red Lightsaber, Morty w/ a fireflower, Harambe in an AT-RT, Predator #1A-2A, Vampire Predator, Zombie Predator, Neo w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Bat-Mite w/ 6th Ring of the Dwarf Lords, Black Lantern Batman, Lando Calrissean and Lobot in F-14, and Zombie Green Lantern

Barkley: Artemis, Pan, Treebeard, Yaddle, and Skeletor

We’ve got two polar opposite teams here, one with a lot of characters while the other goes for a more minimalistic approach of less people but heavy hitters. Nonetheless a good matchup.

Barkley takes the lead with a bold statement from the goddess of the hunt. Artemis calls upon the wild animals of the forest, and in a stampede Rick, Morty, and Bat-Mite are trampled to death while two arrows from the bow of a goddess meet the spinal cords of Vampire and Zombie Predator. Harambe (RIP) makes quick friends with the wild animals and tells them that the humans will kill them one day, so they turn on Artemis and shred her to pieces like a Thanksgiving dinner.

We then pan (I’m sorry, I couldn’t not make the pun) over to Treebeard attempting to talk to the trees. I don’t think he’s aware that they don’t talk like him, he’s not in Fangorn Fore-- oh my god the trees are moving. Guys it’s just like that one scene from the Two Towers where he finds all the trees burnt down and all of a sudden a whole army of trees comes out of nowhere and starts messing the place up. Harambe’s AT-RT is smashed to bits along with the F-14 because they were blowing shit up and catching fires everywhere. While Neo is going ham on some trees with his two whitelightsabers, Yaddle, a true Jedi master, shows him how to properly use these laser thingys and slices and dices Neo. Although it was not before Neo landed a fatal blow to Treebeard.

Yaddle moves on and messes up the two Predators real quick while then throwing her lightsaber through the body of NIghtsister Acolyte. Now without her lightsaber, Asajj strikes from behind and ends the long life of Yaddle.

As we move through the battle, we actually come upon Pan, not a pun this time. He again summons the forest’s decomposers and they feast on the dead flesh of Zombie Green Lantern. Pan then plays some rustic music from before time itself and it is so boring that it literally kills Asajj, although Batman is of course unfazed. Batman moves toward the god of wilderness and snaps his neck over his knee.

Skeletor, who has been silent throughout the battle, realizes it is just himself versus Batman. Batman makes for a quick attack towards the weird skeleton playing with his hands. To the demise of Batman, he is unaware that this whole battle Skeletor has been building up dark magic and has had just enough time to now vaporize Batman.

George Washington's House Elves Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

George Washington's House Elves are Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Taurus, Red Dog, & Mercer, The Predi-Alien, & The Paw Patrol: Ryder, Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Zuma, Sky, Rocky, Everest, & Tracker w/ their Vehicles.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are: IG-88, Scout Trooper #1-10, The Ninth Sister, Firelord Ozai, Maxima, Daenyrus Targaryen w/ his Dragon, Unsullied #1-10, & Dengar.

ITCHA BOY, The Neon Master Pogo here. Haven't got much chance to watch this year what with that draconian, totalitarian, effeminate, Bruce Jenner-lookin jerk that has us all freaked out about everything constantly in our faces. No, not Gretchen Whitmer, I'm talking about Joshatu the Butthurt. Anyways..... That's enough groaning, it's time to flush this turd.

Firelord Ozai does some serious bending of fire and of the land of Oz; not sure which one he is a master of; so I'll give him both powers. Either way, it's May the Fourth and I gots to give that love to Star Wars; so Luke blocks it with his lightsaber, absorbs it with The Force, and spin attacks Ozai silly Fo Keeps Dawg.

Dengar is all like: I was only in Star Wars for like five seconds; but I'm awesome; and Mercer is like: I was only in G.I. JOE for like five seconds; but at least I had a speaking role and killed him.

The Unsullied found Red Dog to be Sullied; so they: Honestly I don't know what I am talking about right now; so everyone mentioned in this paragraph just died.

The Predi-Alien joined the scene, and I instantly started projectile vomiting because it is basically the grossest thing in movie history. Luckily, Maxima is much tougher than I, and in lieu of projectile vomiting punched its head off instead.

The Scout Troopers are all like: “Wow, it's so quiet here on Endor. All the Ewoks must be obeying the stay at home order, too bad we are essential and have to come to work”; but then Han looked at Chewie in a totally non-gay way and was like: “Yo Chewie, we have gotten out of way more difficult situations than this”; and they start shooting first like a couple of bosses ten times straight until the Scout Troopers are all dead.

Daenyrus Targaryen and his dragon show up and it is really apparent from the start that Dude and his Dragon are wicked awesome. I mean, I didn't do any research or anything; but I know for sure: Wicked. Awesome. They are flying around being all like: Look how awesome I am. And then the Paw Patrol roll up on their vehicles.... Now, I know that y'all are just gonna say that I am lazy and don't feel like looking up these characters; but I assure you it is far deeper than that. My intention is really just to put Mr. Artrip into an existential quandary. You see, because I am just going to say that Rubble was in trouble and Chase was on the case and that they totes road their vehicles all up in here and that they won the skirmish and Chris is going to be thinking about how awesome Game of Thrones is and that I won't give it the proper love; but at the same time he'll be like: Yeah, bruh Paw Patrol is my team: REPRESENT. Well, anyway The Paw Patrol were victorious, but dude and his dragon managed to eat, or slice, err blow fire, or whatever they do on all of the Paw Patrol Pup except for Tracker who is my favorite, much to the dismay of my children who know I am crazy.

IG-88 shot Sgt. Slaughter and he died.

Taurus was a better swordsmen than The Ninth Sister; but lightsaber > Saracen Sword all day, every day; so the Inquisitor was victorious over the JOE Renegade. Luke on the other hand was better and had the same kind of weapon; so he managed to take her out.

Luke, Han, Chewie, Mercer, and Tracker squared off against IG-88 and Maxima to wrap everything up. Maxima and Luke became locked in an extremely epic, old-fashioned, Becks-style Pitched battle that could easily have been stretched to a page long conflict by a better writer; whilst Han blasted IG-88 directly in his central core. And then, in a full explosion of uncreativity; but also in a simultaneous shout out to The Mandalorian and not-so rock solid proof that I really did look at these teams intensely and have a rough time deciding who the winner should be: The IG Bounty Hunter Droid triggers his self destruct and destroys every non Canine in the bunch. Tracker marks his territory and puts out the fire with his urine.

Cuz that's how we do it on Endor Peeps. And. We out.

Consortium Week 8 The Striders of Rohan Vs 2 Hungry Dinomites With Bubble Fighting Fun Down Tight

The Hungry Dinomites are Chief Chirpa w/ Tanooki Suit, Tee w/ Hammer bros suit, Logray, Wicket W. Warrick w/ Racoon leaf, Paploo w/ Vibranium suit, Ewok Warrior w/ Frog Suit, Ant-Man and Wasp, Falcon, Captain America w/ Blue Lantern ring, Winter Soldier, Giant Man, Mas and Menos, and Giant Hammer Bros. #1-4.

Striders of Rohan are Legolas, Gimli,nBoromir, Gerald of Rivia, w/ Green Lantern Ring, King Kong (Last Life), Radagast The Brown, and Baron Zemo w/ Yellow Lantern Ring.

Democracy Week 8 Affirmative Action Poepeyes vs Be Gentle Its My First Time

Be Gentle Its My First Time is Plo Koon w/ green lantern ring, Darth Malak, The Sinister Six: Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Electro, Mysterio, and Vulture, 5 Jedi Knights, Sgt. Apon, Tien Shinhan, and Yamcha, 

Affirmative Action Popeye’s, Avatar Aang, Uncle Iroh, Detective Spooner, Sonny, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, John Rambo, The Hart Foundation: Bret “The Hitman Hart”, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, The Rockers: Shawn Micheals and Marty Jannety w/ a racoon leaf.

Vote Away.

Week 7: Affirmative Action Popeye’s vs Dinomites

Popeye’s: Red Hulk, Red She Hulk, Namor and Namor’s Griffin, Avatar Aang, Iroh, Trinity, Morpheus, Riggs and Murtaugh in Ornithopter, Black Panther, Red Dragon #1, and Sentinel #10

Dinomites: The Shazam Family: SHAZAM, Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr, Eugene Cho,l Pedro Pena, Darla Dudley, C.C Batson, Green Lantern Ganthet, Blue Lantern Flash, Orange Lantern Lex Luther, Ronan The Accuser with a Red Lantern Ring, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer, Yellow Lantern Scarecrow, Star Sapphire, Wonder Woman, Cal Kestis, BD-1, Cere, Greeze, SandTrooper #1-10 on Dewback #1-10, and Superman Prime

For the amount of times I’ve given Chris shit about doing this, I never thought I’d be doing it one day. School decided to say wassup, how about we try online, but do it in a really dumb way, so I’ve been a bit busy keeping up with that and didn’t get the match done. Well here it is, unfortunately I overslept and missed the battle, all I saw is Shazam walk away guiding Dewback #7. The rest I believe are ‘DED spells dead’. Next week I’ll try to make a good match in the woods of Endor.

Therefore, DINOMITES win, Shazam and Dewback #7 survive.

S11 W7: Barkley's vs Sith Aids

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are: Deadpool, Boba Fett, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides "Maud Dib", Erasmus, Cyborg, Khal Drogo,  T-X, Kilawog, Robo-Barkley (4 deaths), Krayt Dragons #3-5 (4 deaths each)

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are: Darth Revan, Starkiller, The Anti-Monitor, Stormtroopers #11-50 (#11 in an AT-RT), Darth Sion, The Rancor, Savage Opress, Feral, Maxima, Veliciraptor #1-2.

I arrived late as usual to the outside of the arena stadium on Geonosis. Both the Barkley's and the Sith Aids were clawing at the doors outside, begging to be let in lest their fate lie in a wood chipper. They both explained to me that their teams were submitted late and both were shocked when I informed them that I was watching their match and they were playing each other. 

This news caused the two teams to almost instantly begin fighting each other. The sounds of 40 stormtroopers laying a barrage of gunfire down while the screams of the Rancor and Velociraptors as they began to devour combatants was both amazing and disturbing at the same time. The Sith Aids came out of the gate firing but the Barkley's were no push overs. Deadpool and Cyborg were taking on the Anti Monitor while Boba Fett and the two guys who look like Jason Momoa were slashing their way through Stormtroopers. 

I decided to put a stop to all this since I forgot my notebook and froze time. There were a good amount of dead bodies but I told each team to pick one living person to put up in a one on one fight for the whole thing. The winners would win and take their remaining team back to the locker room and I would run the losing team through the woodchipper.

Sith Aids nominated Darth Revan and Barkleys put up Muad'Dib.

Revan came in with a fast attack and a force push that sent Paul reeling backwards. Paul stayed down on one knee as Revan came toward him, lightsaber drawn. Paul was not injured however. As he used his prescient vision he saw all possible future outcomes from the battle and knew the exact second to roll to the side and take the head off the dark lord.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Poggle the Lesser in a Geonosian Starship, Sun Fac in a Geonosian Starship, Indiana Jones, Henry Jones Sr., Zombie Dr. Manhattan, R2-D2, C3P0, Grandmaster Luke Skywalker, Hera Syndulla, Sabine Wren, Kanaan Jaruus, Ezra Bridger, Zeb Orrelius, Chopper, Revan, Aayla Secura, & Orc #1-29.

Be Gentle it's My First Time is Plo Koon (w/ a green lantern ring), Task Master (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Darth Malak, Dr. Strange (w/ The Time Stone), Wong, Dr. Fate, Black Lantern Superboy, & a Jedi Knight.


As the match is about to begin, a hidden conference takes place between a few of the Assassins. The Phoenix Crew to be precise.

SABINE: “Hera, I can't believe that we have two ships in this match and that none of us are in one. You, especially should be up there flying.

HERA: “I agree Sabine, I'm not sure what I can do about it though”.

KANAAN: “We all know Hera is the best pilot on this team; but we don't have a choice as to who gets to pilot what. Sometimes the Force works mysteriously. We must follow it”.

{A cloaked figure approaches to join the conversation}.

LUKE GJM: “Hera being the best pilot on this team, is....... Well, let's just say it is debatable. And why are you all so convinced that you don't have any chance to contest who flies the ships?? You're all Rebels here aren't you?? Come with me. R2 has a plan... Oh, and Young Jarrus, The Force is your ally, sometimes even your best allies need convincing”.

ZEB: Did he just say, that his droid has a plan??

CHOPPER:

C3P0: R2's plans have been known to work from time to time....

R2 and 3PO, erratically explain the plan to the Phoenix Crew and make sure that they all know their part (sort of).

Ezra Bridger approaches Poggle the Lesser and his bodyguard Sun Fac and begins to speak: “Uh, umm, excuse me Poggle err, I mean excuse me Mr. The Lesser, I was just sent over here to tell you that before you board your ship, err I mean your ships that Capt. Syndulla and Jedi Master Skywalker had a message for you. NO, No , No, umm stay here just for a second and let me tell you the message. I know it is time to get on your ships and stuff, but I just need a second to give you the message.... You see, they wanted me to tell you that since you two are definitely in charge of this team, that you should definitely umm talk to the troops for a bit before you board your ships. Ya know, for moral and stuff”.

Poggle looks at Ezra and then looks at Sun Fac with a confused look, just as Ezra sheepishly backs away from the two Geonosians saying: “Well guys, have a good battle. Stay buggy”.

With those words, the two Geonosian Starfighters blast over the heads of Poggle and Sun Fac as their confusion turns to anger and a conversation takes place over the ships' comlink. Chopper and Hera are on board the first Starfighter and contact Luke: “Well, Master Skywalker, tell those droids of yours that Chopper and I definitely approve of this plan”.

“They hear you loud and clear Capt. Syndulla. Let's do this”. Luke replies.

“How mad do you think the Geonosians are going to be when they find out we stole their ships”?? Asks Hera.

Luke chuckles a little and says: “Don't worry about it, it's all part of the plan... I was going to tell them Indiana Jones did it”.

The Assassins move into battle swiftly, but find that Dr. Strange and his troops are huddled together in a defensive position completely ready for battle.

Kanaan and Ezra are approached by a nameless Jedi Knight whose training has far surpassed their own; but the former Jedi Padawan and the Padawan's Padawan are able to make short work of their would be ally, showing that not only does teamwork make the dream work; but that their Force skills are beyond the official training that either of them possess. The pair look to their left and notice that Poggle and Sun are being moved upon by Plo Koon and Task Master. The Geonosians seem outmatched significantly, until Poggle uses his telepathic link with the Brood Alpha of this planet, causing dozens of Geonosian Drones to begin coming out of the ground to join the team and protect their leader. The Orcs recognize within their very DNA that the Geonosians are the masters of this place and they obey accordingly.

Ezra turns to his Master and says: “Kanaan, LOOK. Those Geonosians never would have joined the fight if their leaders were up in their Starships”.

“What can I say, Ezra. I guess sometimes the Force needs a little convincing”. “Says Kanaan.

Wong stops Zeb in his place and hits him with the spinny thing to take him out; but Sabine does a conventional spin move and hits the wizard directly in the chest with her Darksaber. Dr, Strange is none too happy to see this as he hits Sabine with an even better spinny thing to take her out as well on his way to join his teammate Lord Malak in his battle against Revan and Aayla Secura. Revan absorbs Strange's initial magic attack, while Malak parries Secura's lightsaber assault and then runs her through. Revan zooms forward with Jedi speed to kill Strange, which results in an epic dual between Revan and Malak that ends with both of them joining each other in death; because the only things I know about them are from Galaxy of Heroes and I have no idea which one is supposed to be stronger.

Dr. Fate VS. Dr. Manhattan should be an incredible fight, but one of them has 4 deaths and and one of them is a Zombie, so it isn't.

Black Lantern Superboy takes flight and engages the two ace pilots of the AAA Squad. Meanwhile Plo Koon and Taskmaster are putting on a clinic in their battle against a slew of Orcs and a gaggle of Geonosians. Unfortunately, Kanaan, Ezra, and Henry Jones Sr. have all met their fate at the hands of the good Doctor representing the Gentle Crew.

Luke and Hera's flight skills are masterful, but despite several successful evasions and attacks; BL Superboy manages to catch Hera off guard and blast through her ship faster than a black lantern speeding boy bullet.

As Indiana Jones hides in a desert outcropping, being berated by Dr. Fate's magical onslaught. Plo Koon and his new best bro Taskmaster have successfully taken out the Orcs and Geonosians, including Poggle and the mighty Sun Fac. BL Superboy hits Luke's ship with a blast of black lantern heat vision sending the ship into a tailspin; but Luke is able to right the ship and recover. With the ship greatly damaged, Luke ejects R2 and 3PO to safety and then double backs with a spin move (that's a good trick (shout out Phantom Menace)). Luke is able to delve deeply into the Force to realize the weakness of his enemy. He sees that he must use two types of energy to destroy him. Luke targets BL Superboy with his lasers, shuts off the targeting computer with the Force, and injects just a slight amount of Kyber from his lightsaber into the firing mechanism of the ship. A perfectly aimed shot, then leads to BL Superboy being shot out of the air. Luke climbs out of the cockpit and onto the failing ship itself. He then leaps from the starship and delivers a lightsaber thrust through the blackened heart of Black Lantern Superboy, sending him to the graveyard on his way down to joining the rest of the fight. Luke realizes that his attempt to save his droids was in vain, as he arrives just in time to see Taskmaster and Plo Koon dismantling them. The Koon/Taskmaster Duo have developed quite a rapport and move together against Skywalker, but find that they are still lacking against the Grand Jedi Master. Luke knocks the sword from Taskmaster and directs his Yellow energy blast back at him, right before he runs Plo through the heart with his lightsaber.

Luke feels a great disturbance in the Force and realizes that someone he does not know well; but who seems very much like an old friend is in trouble. Luke is re-energized as he uses his Force Speed to hit the ground running and move towards Dr. Fate, the extremely powerful, and last remaining member of the Be Gentle crew. An exhausted Luke gets to the other side of the battlefield, just in time to see Indiana Jones pull an ancient artifact out of his backpack and complete the spell that opens the Portal of Fate and dispel the power of Dr. Fate once and for all.

Luke is shocked by what he has seen and looks surprised to see Dr. Jones hunched over a rock before him victorious. Indiana looks and sounds strikingly like Luke's best friend as he smirks and asks: “What took ya so long”??

Consortium Week 7 House Elves vs Empire

House Elves are Ben Kenobi, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Soundwave w Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Rabat, Wingthing, Sqauktalk, Beatbox, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Garboil, Overkill, Slugfest, Autoscout #1-2, Juggernaut, Shao Khan, Sgt. Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, Mercer, Shaak Ti, Sandworm #1-5, Dothraki #1-8, Dothraki Horse #1-8.

The Empire is Obi Wan Kenobi, Saruman, Apollo, Shredder, Krang, Karai, Nazgul #7 on fell beast, Herculoids: Zondar, Tara, Gloop, Gleep, Rabbon Harkonen, and Baron Vladmir Harkonen.

Week 7: TEAM vs. Striders of Rohan

TEAM is: Leader One, Scooter, Turbo, Perceptor, Kup, Springer, R.C., Wheelie, Hubcap, and Sunstreaker.

The Striders of Rohan are: Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombour, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bill the Pony, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnack, Grima Wormtongue, Isildor, Arathorn, Fremen #1, Fedayeen #2-5, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, Gondor Soldiers #13-15, 14 Goblins (#5, #7, and #9-20), Gollum, Tim Cheveldae, Alan Trammell, Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman, Barry Sanders, Elon Musk, Juwam Howard, Robert Downey Jr, John Quincy Adams, Aaron Griswold, Scorpion, and Liu Kang.


On the bleak surface of Geonosia, a horde of discount Striders made a charge on TEAM's crack squad of Transformers*. Squat and crafty, Bilbo Baggins eagerly found himself a poor fit for the front line, and the initial volley of blaster fire took him down. Turbo tore through the gaggle of Goblins, but when he shot Bill the Pony he earned the furious vengeance of Thorin Oakenshield. Just as Thorin severed Turbo's connections, Hubcap brought a heavy robotic fist down on the Dwarf's skull. This whipped his Dwarven posse into a frenzy, and they swarmed Hubcap. Though he managed to crush Bofer, Oin, and Nori, he succumbed to the nine remaining shorties. Isildur lead the three Fedayeen against Wheelie, but Perceptor caught them with his shoulder cannon before they could finish off the little Autobot. Together the two fought through to assist Scooter, who was on the ground getting kicked by the regular, powerless human celebrities of the Striders. They cleared the fodder off their off-brand buddy, and Wheelie extended a hand to help him up. As he did, the scent of brimstone hit their electronic olfactory receptors, and a spear flew in to Perceptor's chassis. Scorpion yanked him closer as Liu Kang brought a flying bicycle kick to his head, knocking it clean off. Wheelie blasted Liu Kang as he returned to the ground, but Scorpion was quick to melt him and Scooter down with fire breath. Sunstreaker and RC killed off the swarm of Dwarves that overwhelmed Hubcap and turned their attention to Arathorn, who was attempting to organize and rally the ragtag forces left on the field. He made his final push against Springer, Kup, and Leader One with Scorpion and the Gondor Soldiers, while the rest of their team split off to keep RC and Sunstreaker at bay. As they charged, Scorpion teleported behind Kup, kicking him straight into the spears of the Soldiers. He was punished quickly by Leader One, but the distraction proved fatal enough as the GoBot leader was cut down by Gondor's finest. Springer shot down the soldiers, but Arathorn ran him through. Meanwhile, RC and Sunstreaker had disposed of Wormtongue, the Ghola, and the Fremen before Grishnack took down RC with his scimitar. Arathorn bellowed a warcry and charged, but the gun is mightier than the sword and Sunstreaker was quick on the draw, killing both the orc and the human. He stood proud, basking in his incomparable tactical skills, when a boulder was pushed down on him from the cliff above. At the top, Gollum danced and clapped his hands, cackling out a cheer: "Weak, shiny robotses!"

The Super Orange, Dramatic Kittens of Luna Vs The Self-described, non-binary individuals of relative below average size

The Kitties are Cicada, Hermione Granger, Starfire,Darth Traya (w/ Red Lantern Ring), Green Goblin, Raven, Medusa, Athena (w/ a Force Saber), Katness Everdeen (in Mandolorian Armor), Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-3, & New Sisterhood Reverend Mother #2-3.

The Midgets are: Mr. Mxyztplk (w/ the 2nd ring of the Dwarf Lords), Darth Maul (w/ a red lantern ring), Atrocitus, Hecate, Stilgar, Allia Atreides, Gurney Halleck, Vorian Atreides w/ Duncan Idaho Ghola #5 in an Apache Helicopter, The Mandolorian w/ Quill and The Child (w/ a blue lantern ring), Yareal Poof, The Huntress (w/ a purple lightsaber), & OA Guardian #1-2.

FFL Week 6 2020: Dino-Mites VS. TEAM

Dino-Mites: Ranx The Sentient City, The Fantastic Four in the Fantasticar, Superman Prime, The Black Racer, General Zod, Ursa, Non, Wedge Antilles in an X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter and Beb in an X-Wing 

TEAM: Leader One, Scooter, Perceptor, Turbo, Kup, Springer, R.C., Wheelie, Blur, Sunstreaker, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tur

The section of the Outer Rim where this battle takes place is in Isen IV. We start out with Superman Prime leading the Dino-Mites into battle against the Transformer/GoBots filled TEAM. 

The enclosed Fantasticar is speeding into battle but is easily taken out by combined missile shots from Leader One in his Jet Plane form and Cop-Tur in his helicopter form, as the Fantasticar is not built to have such battles in space.

The two Gobots then notice Superman Prime out of their peripheral vision flying towards them, they try their best to defeat him in a dogfight but they do not stand a chance as Superman Prime’s speed and poise are far superior to the GoBots as he kills them both with heat vision shots to their heads.

The rest of TEAM then work together to try and take out some of the Dino-Mites Kryptonians. The Transformers and GoBots find a way to surround Ursa and Non. After a long volley of various sorts of blasts from the Transformers and GoBots they defeat the two kryptonians. 

Springer and R.C. team up to try and take on Wedge and Biggs in their X-Wings. They chase Wedge and Biggs into an asteroid field where after a long dogfight Springer hits Wedge with a shot and he loses control and crashes into an asteroid, where as R.C. goes after Biggs where Biggs can’t shake the transformer and crashes into an asteroid trying to escape but the explosion from the X-Wing causes R.C. to crash into another asteroid and be destroyed.

The rest of the Transformers and GoBots spend their time trying to chase after The Black Racer. The Black Racer is significantly faster than these machines and is basically toying with them, he leads them into an asteroid field where Wheelie, Springer and The Percepter die from crashing into asteroids. The Black Racer then Skis out of the asteroid belt and once the Transformers and GoBots come out of the asteroid field some of them are hit with a huge blasts of Heat Vision as Superman Prime and General Zod combine their heat visions to create a mega heat vision which has Scooter, Cy-Kill and Crasher killed.

The Dino-Mites have Superman Prime, General Zod and The Black Racer left alive while TEAM has Turbo, Kup,Blur and Sunstreaker. After a surprisingly short battle between the last alive from the two teams The Dino-Mites win in a landslide against TEAM as the Transformers and GoBots stood no chance against the power and speed of the Kryptonians and The Black Racer. Then all of a sudden Ranx: The Sentient City appears in the Isen IV sector as the city was running late but thankfully the rest of The Dino-Mites did not need help from the city.  

Week 6: George Washington’s House Elves vs Super Kitties

House Elves: Bizarro Superman, Luke Skywalker in Luke’s Stealth X-Wing, Han Solo and Chewbacca in Imperial Shuttle, Galvatron, Ben Kenobi in Poe’s X-Wing, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Dash Rendar in X-Wing, Captain Panaka and Qui Gon Jinn and Admiral Piett in Nubian 327, Rom, Quark, Wesley Crusher, Commander Ryker, Zaheer, Prince Harry and Princess Meghan in B-Wing, Vampire #3-4

Kitties: Vampire Abeloth w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Zombie Abeloth, Supergirl, Power Girl, Starfire, Blackfire, The Red Hood in Sith Starfighter, Green Arrow and Black Canary in 2 seater Y-Wing, Red X in X-Wing, Captain Steven Hiller in Y-Wing, and The 100 group in Count Dooku’s Ship

This week’s matchup takes place in the outer rim, and because I like to do a little bit of research, I decided more specifically we’re going to be in the Kanz sector. This really has no relevance and has not only wasted my time looking up some place to be, but now yours because you’ve read this. Since we're already here, I might as well say that the Kanz sector is home to the planet Jerne (I like this one because I imagine saying it like Journey, one of the best bands ever). 

Now that that’s over with, wait that’s two thats, ehh I don’t feel like fixing it. Anyways let’s get this match started. When you look at the Super Kitties in a matchup, you can always look forward to a #feminism movement like we see here today, so much so that Princess Meghan said ‘I’m out’ on the House Elves and switched teams. With Prince Harry all alone, he gets sad and blows up the B-Wing killing himself and Princess Meghan.

As for the other pilots, well I hope none of them also choose the kamikazee route. The House Elves have some good Star Wars pilots like Luke Skywalker, Ben Kenobi (probably needs to get the rust off for not flying in years), and Han Solo and Chewbacca. Wait… there not in the Falcon? Seriously? Yo wtf Chris, you had one job, you got Han Solo and Chewbacca, but couldn’t get the Millenium Falcon, I’m disappointed. You know what, Vampire Abeloth w/ Yellow Lantern Ring comes over and the look of her terrifies Han and Chewie to literally shit themselves which then feeds the Yellow Lantern Ring with their fear and Abeloth blasts them to a thousand bits.

Back to the other pilots… such good pilots, Luke, the black dude flying around Padme alongside the dude who gets stabbed by Maul, the Star Trek crew which aren’t even in a ship, a different version of Robin, Green Arrow and Black Canary couple, THE Will Smith, and a few other unmentioned pilots. This is the start of a huge, epic, glorious--- what? We don’t have the money to create this amazing battle? So you’re telling me I’m just gonna have to say who came out alive? Welp, sorry guys, you heard the producers, all that survived is my guy Will Smith--- I mean Captain Steven Hiller. Even after surviving such a great battle, so good that you could probably write an epic poem about it, like the Iliad, he doesn’t last long before Galvatron says wassup and crushes the ship.

All that’s left are the heavy hitters, and to be honest, it’s not looking good for the House Elves. Either way, Bizarro Superman still rushes into battle and is met with resistance from the girl of steel from two earth’s. Bizarro Superman is not second guessing his course of action, but it’s too late, the girls set in the attack. He’s about to meet his end before last second he rips Supergirl in half, in which 4 death Power Girl gets enraged and heat visions him to implode. Kitties seeing there’s not much work left to do, they all bring their girl power together and #metoo Galvatron out of existence.

As the Kitties celebrate, Mar-vel, Archangel, and Zaheer manage to sneak attack and kill the sisters Star and Blackfire. This leads to the two Abeloths unleashing their might on the remaining House Elves, and in their destruction they not only manage to kill them off, they also kill each other.

The Empire Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Empire is Silver Surfer, White Lantern Swamp Thing, War Machine, Xerxes, Lt. Colonel Blue Grass w/ Quicksilver, Talleyhawk, Steelheart, Rayzor, Steelwill, Stronghold, The Copper Kid, & Mayday in The Marage, Zombie Capt. Marvel, Beowolf, Voltron of the Mid Universe, Ben Quadrineros in an ARC Fighter, Jolee Fishdo in an ARC Fighter, Snow White w/ Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, Doc, Vampire #2-3, and Thinking Machine #1-8 in The Event Horizon.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are Hal Jordan, Boba Fett in a TIE Fighter, Saint Walker (w/ a green lantern ring), Guy Gardner, Cyborg in a TIE Fighter, Kilawog, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Lex Luthor in a TIE Fighter, Green Lantern Sinestro, White Lantern Deadman, Iron Patriot, Space Ghost w/ Mega Man X, and Blip in The Phantom Cruiser, Jan & Jace in their Shuttle, and Starscream's Ghost.

Two great space teams here folks, so let's not waste any time and jump right into the fight. Evenly matched dogfights ensue all over the place between TIE and ARC fighters with Marage and Phantom Cruiser joining in as well. Iron Patriot and War Machine square off immediately; but War Machine finds his Tony Stark hand-me downs to be outmatched against Iron Patriot's firepower. Osborne charges up a laser-guided missile and plants it directly into War Machine's chest to penetrate the armor and take him out.

Jedi Master Fishdo is leading The Empire's flight squadron; but it is pretty apparent that Quadrineros is the best pilot among them. Cyborg, wired into the controls of his TIE Fighter directly takes out Fishdo, flying in ARC 1; but ARC 2 (Quadrineros) uses his heightened senses and podracing skills to target Blue Beetle's TIE. Boba Fett finds that he can't quite do enough damage of the Cymek casing of Xerxes, who eventually clips the wing of Fett's TIE sending it out of control. Fett, manages to regain control and eject, sending out counter-measures that do more damage to The Ancient Titan than his laser blasts initially could. Boba Fett, then further ejects out of his escape apparatus and uses his jetpack to get onto the rear of Xerxes. A few well-placed thermal detonators finish the skirmish. Lex Luthor flies his TIE Fighter methodically and exactly how the schematics dictate; but this doesn't serve him well against the crazy, well-practiced flying of Colonel Bluegrass in the Marage who first ejects the four Silverhawks and their bird companions into the battle and then lights up Luthor with laser blasts. Space Ghost takes a cue from his teammate Boba Fett, who seems to be doing fine sans ship and ejects from The Phantom Cruiser, handing the controls off to Mega Man X. Space Ghost, in a truly O.P. Move proves nothing more than the fact that he was the writer of this match's favorite cartoon character as a kid. This causes the writer to ignore everything he knows about how powerful Dune Neo-Cymeks are and has Space Ghost press some buttons on his arm making Beowolf go boom.

Saint Walker is able to take out Mayday, Steelheart, and Stronghold with his dual lantern powers, but the rest of the Silverhawks team up and kill him with a bunch of spacebird like abilities.

Silver Surfer may very well be the most powerful player in today's game and we all know he can take out green lanterns when necessary, because we all saw what happened in the famous Marvel-DC Amalgam crossover from years back. But it isn't that Sissified-Artsy Raynor he is up against this time. Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner, the true Green Lanterns of earth team up on The Surfer and make him look as weak as he was in that old NES game where he couldn't even touch the walls without dying. Shortly thereafter, another Extremely powerful Empire character falls as Starscream's Ghost keeps taking over different bots in the combined gestalt of Voltron. The poor robot of the Mid-Universe goes insane as Starscream leaps from piece to piece forcing Voltron to play the stop hitting yourself game that every three year old finds hilarious. Voltron's initial robot programming kicks in forcing a self-destruct, which does manage to dissipate Starscream's Ghost along with the self-demise of Voltron.

Zombie Capt. Marvel tries to eat Sinestro's brain, but she dies instead.

White Lantern Swamp Thing proves that he is better with the white lantern power than White Lantern Deadman based solely on the fact that WL Swamp Thing is on death #4 and WL Deadman is not. Swamp Thing wins the power struggle and manages to contain the power; as the other White Lantern ring is ripped from the hand of Deadman and joined with Swamp Thing's making one white ring as the universe intended. Although this brings forth a paradox as Hal Jordan and Sinestro are also brought into the fray. All four of these potential white ring wielders are simultaneously brought together causing a divergence in the Universe. The white lantern ring is the embodiment of life; but so much life must cause death (I know that doesn't make any sense but it sounds like some cheesy, quasi-deep thing a comic book writer like Geoff Johns would say). The ring plants itself firmly onto the mossy finger of Swamp Thing; but unites all four ring bearers in death.

Kilawog wrecks Marage with a huge green fist and is then joined by Boba Fett and Iron Patriot as they face off against the remaining Silverhawks. A furious Steelwill who just lost his sister and his beloved bird manages to crack the shell of Iron Patriot, and Quicksilver sends a piercing karate chop into the heart of Kilawog; but in the end, once the cosmic dust had cleared, all the Silverhawks had fallen and only Boba Fett remained.

The Phantom Cruiser, piloted by Mega Man X is able to take out Ben Quadrineros' ARC Fighter on their way to dock on the massive Event Horizon along with Jan and Jace in their shuttle and Cyborg in his TIE Fighter. They had all received a distress signal from the ship saying that the Empire Members on board were all prepared to surrender as soon as they were boarded by the Barkley's squad. Boba Fett too, received this transmission through his Mandalorian Helmet and made the Turrible Decision of answering the call. The ship seemed abandoned from the outside; but once they entered and heard the door shut solid behind them they all realized that the ship was indeed very functional. Once inside they saw things that I as a Watcher cannot possibly describe. Vampires, dwarves, and vampire dwarves ripping the flesh from the bones of anything in site, creepy and evil thinking machines designed to do intense and vile harm to any bag of flesh they come across, Sam Neil trying to revive his career after being typecast as Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park, and scariest of all: A woman who is able to simultaneously live with seven men. Fett, Mega Man X, Blip, and Cyborg all die gruesome and terrifying deaths at the hands of The evil Event Horizon Ship; so do Jan and Jace; but they are too stupid to feel actual human pain.

It is too late for their teammates to be spared their gruesome demise; but The Event Horizon and its murderous, haunted ways are destroyed externally as Space Ghost and Guy Gardner combine their powers to blow the ship up for good.